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happyalpacaexpert · 8 months ago

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"I think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away."

Got a lot of Q's for this in my inbox. Figured I'd just address them here.

tw: mentions of suicide, suicidal ideation

Re: the ending of S2:

Jinx did not die.

She symbolically killed her old self, and with it, her last ties to the past that imprisoned her. She understood that for her sister to move on and live her life - be happy without guilt - she'd have to renounce the bonds that held them together.

Her talk with ghostly Silco was the 'sign-off' she'd been waiting for, ever his dutiful daughter. Throughout S2, she kept hoping he'd haunt her, and in doing so, offer some impetus given her aimlessness. Maybe just straight up boss her around, and tell her how she's supposed to exist now that he's no longer there to be a (subversive if loving) guiding hand.

But it was the promise of time (as represented by Ekko) healing old wounds, and the courage to feel, as she once had - a hopeful child with a hopeful future - that allowed Jinx to commit impetus to action.

Her blimp-ship in the climactic battle is a tribute to Isha - but also to the child in Jinx's own fractured psyche: Powder. She's letting both little girls have one last hurrah before she takes care of business - and cuts off the last oaths, duties and commitments that bind her to a past whose parameters she's outgrown.

Better still, she knows she's got the capacity to outgrow them.

That was the point of Jinx's arc with Isha, and why, no matter my misgivings on Isha's character herself, I found Jinx's trajectory towards a more nurturing and fun-loving figure more life-affirming and positive than the straightforward 'Daddy's Villain Goes Postal' shtick.

It's even why there's a minigame titled Jinx Fixes Everything. It's Jinx, struggling and stumbling, as she tries to rewrite her narrative, and finds in herself the capacity to do good.

To fix things that seem irreparably broken.

And to understand why she's reached this stage, we've got to let go of our tendency to project our own stuff onto Jinx (precious meow meow, unrepentant terrorist, manic pixie crazypants, edgy hot psycho) and acknowledge the purpose she plays in Arcane's thematic structure.

Jinx's character comes off as a death-seeker, and that's no shocker. She is hounded by terrible guilt and loss. She's got blood on her hands, and ghosts on her heels, and no matter what she does, she can't seem to be rid of them. Her inner mind's fractured, her mannerisms ooze pure chaos, and she seems a creature of pure feral impulse and no mercy.

That's the Jinx we're accustomed to seeing in S1 - except that's also both the front she's most likely to put on during that timeline, and the persona that is necessary for her to inhabit to survive, as Silco's daughter and his top enforcer.

Then Silco kicks the bucket, she symbolically fulfills his dream by shooting at the Council HQ, she accepts that she must inhabit this path of shadows and loneliness (as symbolized by her starkly decorated chair in the tea party scene), she accepts the fragmented push-and-pull between past and present, and...

And now what?

Silco's given her a semblance of direction for six years, and he's gone. Vi, the sister she'd hoped would return, and whom she'd hinged so many childishly idealized hopes on, is herself traumatized, and afraid of what her sister's become.

Jinx has her shadows and her loneliness. Jinx is traumatized. Jinx is suicidal.

But Jinx is still, whatever else, alive.

And all living things need connections.

That's why we as the audience enjoy her little found family dynamic with Isha and Sevika. It's Jinx, taking the first tentative steps to reach out to people beyond Silco and Vi, and realizing, wow, she enjoys the pay-off.

And all throughout S2, we see Jinx growing more and more comfortable in this newfound space - even jealously guarding it at the expense of Zaun's liberty, and Silco's wishes, because she can't bear to lose what she's found.

And what she finds empowers her enough that, when Warwick shows up, she's actually willing to reach out to Vi, and call upon their family connection, because Jinx is learning the value of bonds, not as baling hooks of guilt, but as buoys to carry her forward.

That's the story Jinx's relationships serve to tell in S2. Each one shapes the choice she makes in the finale. Until she learns to accept the past (Vi), to lay the monsters to rest (Silco and Vander/Warwick), forgive herself (Caitlyn) trust that time heals all wounds (Ekko), and hope for happier new beginning (Isha), she'll never trust herself enough to just seize the chance.

Jinx's culminating arc is not about death, much less self-erasure. It's about resurrection, and embracing the sublime chaos of a freed mind, and a lightened spirit. That's what she craves beyond simple death, and what her baptism by fire, blood and riverwater, has been about.

Each trial grinds her down into someone else. Someone new.

Someone closer to who she is meant to be, rather than who she's expected to be.

That's why she's so glad to make the sacrifice for Vi. She's not dying as an act of self-immolation. She's giving her sister - the one who's proven she'll never give up on her - the ultimate gift, and showing Vi that she deserves to live.

She needs Vi to live, so Jinx, the persona, can finally die.

"He (Silco) didn't make Jinx. You did."

She's basically saying, "I love you, I will always be with you, but you are no longer responsible for my actions. Please move forward with your life, and grant me the choice to do the same."

It's two sisters embracing everything they've meant to each other, acknowledging the pain weighing them down on both sides, and welcoming the new so they can each slough off old paradigms and live life as a whole person - or at least take steps to remembering what wholeness feels like.

That's the reason the show's final shots linger on the Hexgate tunnels, Jinx's monkey bomb, and the aircraft.

It's the show's way of reminding us that Jinx has ascended to a different version of her identity - one removed from the past that haunted her. It's Jinx, finally striking out alone, away from the sister whose memory she clung so desperately to, and who was, in turn, horrified by her hand in making Powder a monster (perceived guilt or real, fandom may debate ad nauseum) due to past mistakes and abandonment.

The ending of Arcane isn't tragic. It's deeply hopeful, and serves as a reminder that no matter how damaged you think you are, and no matter how monstrous the world finds you, there are still ways to come back to yourself - or to walk the path toward a new you.

Jinx is symbolized by crows. Jinx is shown with firelights emerging from her mouth. Jinx is depicted holding a torch like Janna ushering in the winds of change.

Thematically, Jinx is change.

And the best way she can embody that change is to write her story, and make it her own.

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happyalpacaexpert · 8 months ago

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I have so many thoughts about arc 3, most of them don't make sense but:

the sadness in ekko's eyes right before kissing powder, he knew that was not his real powder, but it was the closest he could get to having her so he tried to take everything from this moment bc he knew this would not be possible in his universe

the emptiness in jinx's eyes - both in the cell and when she was getting ready to khs. this completely shattered me. for her, the only resolution to breaking the cycle was to die. she thought herself so unworthy of love that the only way for her closest people to live is for her to be completely gone. and ekko seeing her in this state minutes, maybe even seconds after he saw powder aka everything jinx could've been in an (almost) perfect world. it must've hurt him sm to see the person he has always loved unconditionally in such a state.

vi witnessing her sister's (alleged) death was so gutwrenching. the only times she allowed herself to grieve over vander were the two times she lost her sis. her understandable inability to emotionally let off her father was the reason she lost jinx.

(continuing with timebomb) ekko sitting alone on the roof made me bawl my eyes out. he had everything he could dream of and he lost it in a matter of a day. and the worst thing is we didn't even get to see the conversation between him and jinx. did he confess to her? how did he manage to make her fight back for what she loves and the people she cares about? how did they prepare for the battle? so many things which could be really interesting for the audience to see as interactions were skipped

why did they build up all this tension between piltover and zaun in the first season when the final battle was against noxus and the feud between the twin cities wasn't even addressed that much? It felt like we needed some sort of a conclusion on this topic like yes, the feud may never disappear due to different social classes but making savika part of the council didn't solve anything imo

I love this show so much, i've never felt so heartbroken over an ending, it feels like i'm grieving the loss of a close friend. the fact we may not see these characters again makes me feel sick. Ik Riot said Arcane has always been a 2-season show but I think the fans deserved one more season or at least more episodes. There are too many things deserving to be addressed and dug deeper into.

#arcane #arcane season 2 spoilers #jinx arcane #ekko arcane #ekkojinx

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happyalpacaexpert · 1 year ago

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sometimes I wonder if there's something even slightly likable about me. even my girlfriend thinks I suck at everything. she doesn't like the way I look, the way I behave, or the way I think. she calls me stupid and annoying over the smallest things and then says I lack confidence. the fact she keeps saying it makes me feel like she genuinely thinks those things and it looks like she's with me only because she's scared she won't find anyone else. I feel like I'll die alone. if even my partner doesn't genuinely like me then how am I supposed to make a stranger fall in love with me.

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happyalpacaexpert · 2 years ago

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the pain you experience, when you see your loved one hurting, is absolutely agonizing

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happyalpacaexpert · 2 years ago

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she's not answering any of my messages, i feel terrible. want to disappear. she is the only thing that brings me happiness and makes my life bearable. i mentally and physically can't afford to lose her.

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happyalpacaexpert · 2 years ago

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i feel like my crush is mad at me but idk why when in theory i should be the one mad at her... i'm mentally exhausted

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happyalpacaexpert · 2 years ago

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i want to jump off a cliff :/

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