hardearnedwisdom

[hardearnedwisdom]

Sometimes you have to go out of your way to do things that bring you joy.

I woke up early and went to my favorite bagel shop this morning.

What will you do to brighten your day?

[hardearnedwisdom]

A Marvelous World

I spend a considerable time looking at photos of plankton. These larger-than-life images are some of the most beautiful that we have captured in our research. Sometimes I forget that these organisms could all fit in a drop of water and that I can never see them with my naked eye, and that fills me with a certain sense of sorrow. I will never be able to truly see a Calanus spp. and admire them, I will never behold a crab zoea. There is a sadness to the study of plankton. Our subjects will never know or comprehend our fondness and adoration for them like the charismatic megafauna do.

[hardearnedwisdom]

saw this and just deleted instagram (evil time eating monster app) again

not to sound like your dad but if your not having a great time rn you might legitimately be playing too many video games or being on that damn phone too often, or at least without any necessary activity buffers

[hardearnedwisdom]

Anne LaMotte talks about this in her book “Bird By Bird” with the idea of a “shitty first draft.” When I talk to my friends about a first draft of something that I wrote, and they ask if they could read it, my response is usually something to the extent of “I would rather be trampled to death and hit by a bus before anyone reads this.” And that is the point of a shitty first draft. Sometimes, writing is like a hike, and every word you write gets you closer to the summit. Sometimes you’re just writing to get your words where they need to be, and that’s the point of a shitty first draft.

If you're a writer you're supposed to write a lot of bullshit. It's part of the gig. You have to write a lot of absolute garbage in order to get to the good bits. Every once in a while you'll be like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time writing bullshit," but that's dumb. That's exactly the same as an Olympic runner being like "Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted all that time running all those practice laps"

[hardearnedwisdom]

there is one downside to being a marine biologist.

which is that i am required to study oceanography.

count your days, Keith Sverdrup, author of Investigating Oceanography.

I'm coming for you.

[hardearnedwisdom]

I am Profoundly excited for Dragon Age: The Veilgaurd.

TL;DR—Dragon Age: The Veilgaurd coming out is very big for me personally, and this is why.

I remember the first time I played a Dragon Age game. The year was 2014, I was obsessed with The Sims 4, and my dad was helping me set something up on my computer. He insisted that we check in Origin, EA’s infamous game launcher, had any free games. That day, the free game was Dragon Age: Origins. Now, when I first played Dragon Age: Origins, I was nine years old and never made it past the Dalish Rouge backstory and tutorial.

That same year, my dad got his prized PlayStation 4. I remember holding the sleek black controller, controlling the second player avatar for Knack, and feeling the haptic feedback for the first time. I was astounded that this was something that was possible with gaming. I felt like I was a part of the world.

At some point, my dad got Dragon Age: Inquisition. I remember him telling me about the hole in the sky that you needed to close, and how that was just the beginning of your story. I was instantly intrigued. I made my first inquisitor, a Dalish Elf Rouge named Lyme, and never got past the tutorial.

Flash forward a couple of years to December of 2018. I’m fourteen, it’s winter break, and three weeks prior I had been dumped. I didn’t know what to do with myself, and so I decided to pick up the PlayStation remote and take on the world I had been thinking about for years but had never had the time—or skill—to explore. That December, I spent hours exploring the Hinterlands, battling dragons on the storm coast, and making alliances. After my first heartbreak, I found solace in Solas, the kind elf who liked my inquisitor—and by extension, me—for my wit and intelligence. January came too soon, and I had to put down the controller and return to the frightening world of middle school.

I changed schools for High School, and the world shut down the spring of my freshman year. I found myself coming back to gaming and fantasy RPG’s to escape the world around me and connect with friends and family. I started playing World of Warcraft with my dad and my friends, and I came back to Inquisition. I moved from the PlayStation to the PC, and I had to start the game over again, but I didn’t mind. It just gave me an excuse to stay in Thedas for longer. My inquisitor, Elvera Levellan, embodied the strength, grit, and intelligence that I needed to channel during such a difficult and confusing time. I found myself falling again for the quiet elf, siding with the mages, and immersing myself in the intrigue of the conflict occurring around me.

Solas was everything I wanted from a boyfriend when I was younger. He was kind, flirted with his wit, kissed passionately, he took things slow, and danced with me at the ball. I was gutted when he left my inquisitor. Years prior I had projected my heartbreak onto him, naively thinking that there was no way this nerdy elf would break my heart. Boy was I wrong.

I finished the base game after one hundred and twenty hours of playtime, and I saved the DLC for hard moments in my life when I needed to return to Thedas. The last time I was in Thedas was in the spring of 2021 when I finished Trespasser. I don’t recall the decisions I made regarding the fate of the Inquisition or who became the divine, but I remember Iron Bull's betrayal, and how my heartache and need to find Solas through the Elluvians mirrored that of my inquisitor. We both needed answers. We both wanted closure. I was angry and hurt and mad at an egg for gods sake.

In my life's most challenging moments, I have looked to Elvera--my inquisitor—for strength to borrow. From getting molds taken of my mouth at the orthodontist (an experience which I hate) to comforting a friend on their deathbed, she has been a source of strength, a suit of armor to don in my most vulnerable moments when I cannot falter. That strength looks different in a dentist's chair and on a deathbed, but It is strength nonetheless.

Needless to say, I am so excited to return to Thedas in thirty days. Every week for the past several years, I had done a quick Google search for “Dragon Age 4”, desperate for news of the next installment. I always felt a pang of disappointment each time I found that there was no news, but I never gave up hope. I delayed travel plans this summer so that I could watch the first gameplay demo with my dad this summer.

The Dragon Age series, and Inquisition in particular hold such a special place in my heart. They were part of my introduction to gaming, and you never forget your first games. They brought me comfort and an escape from the world when I felt as if a hole had been blown in our sky. The characters have lent me strength when I have needed it most.

I cannot wait to create my Rook and explore Tevinter. I can only hope that my inquisitor can finally get the closure that we both need. I am excited to fall in love with Dragon Age and Thedas all over again.