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[hauntedwizardmoment]

What assigned English class book did you viscerally HATE (the most)? I tried to make it general by some authors since curriculums vary.

Any Charles Dickens book

Any Shakespeare Play

Any Greek Epic

The Great Gatsby

1984

A Scarlet Letter

Lord of the Flies

Frankenstein

Other (if it's farenheit 451, I'll burn you)

I didn't viscerally hate any English class book

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Tired of the “she did nothing wrong” mindset. She did EVERYTHING wrong and I’m still on her side and that’s true dedication baby.

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standard ear piercings count

each hole counts as one piercing to me (except for like connected piercings like the industrial)

*bonus points if you tell me what piercings you have

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does anyone have any starbreaker prompts i need to get back into the swing of writing

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i need to see the aguefort faculty yearbook pics. now.

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J3’s problem is that when he tries to write anything “vulnerable” abt his life it always circles back to doing the adam Levine coded thing of like. Isn’t my love life so messed up and dysfunctional bc im so hot and can’t stop fucking all these beautiful people and boy is it tumultuous and we don’t understand each other but we can’t stop fucking. We have hot sex every night. I have to remind the audience that I’m a rockstar who is always getting some. So when he’s like. Truly being so so so so so actually embarrassing on apology tour j4 is like. Ok hang on here

no truly. j4 isnt interested in what she sees as j3 like, bragging about how much fun he's having. even if he's like "i have complicated emotions about this" in some of his music she's like well. you dont exactly seem torn up about it. so on the apology tour when he starts every show with an extremely uncomfortable "everyone, i'm dedicating this show to someone i hurt. i really messed up, and i need you all to help me show her that i know how bad i messed up" speech. j4 is like "wait a second... he's... sorry? he realized that he made me sad???" and leaves her cabin in the mountains to go to the nearest show so she can have her wattpad fanfic moment of showing up backstage and making up with j3. and then j3 calls off the rest of the tour because truly. the album is bad and his shows arent selling well and Nobody likes the very public groveling. and the press is like Breaking News: J3's Weird Apology Tour Worked! Nobody Could Have Predicted This! J4 Sets Terrible Example For Young Women By Falling For This, But Like, She Seems Happy So Good For Her?

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I don’t think it would ever happen bc I think j3 is not QUITE this embarrassing (even tho he’s plenty embarrassing) but the idea of j3 doing an apology tour for Ellie is so funny to me now. Bro gets like a single credit on each of the Jace + Jaces albums for his contribution and like one song and now he’s written an entire confessional album about how much of a fuckup he was abt LJ3. I’m dying of secondhand embarrassment just thinking abt it. Tbe believer in love in me says it might actually be decent but the knower about shitty apology tours knows in my heart that it’s bad <3

oh NOOOOO this is so darksided. for the lead single he's going for jealous guy by john lennon but he ends up with something akin to fucking. get her back by robin thicke. the album is GRUESOME in both how bad the songwriting is (nobody ever accused j3 of being a good lyricist) AND in terms of how revealing it is about their lives (maybe this is where j3 confesses to the j2 affair. MESS.). and the whole project, the album and tour and media circus, is dedicated to the goal of Getting J4 Back. which means that if you buy the album and go to the show youre complicit in this very public groveling routine that j3 is doing. j3 is getting torn APART by both critics and his listeners.

and unfortunately for j4 who has never received a grand gesture in her life. she finds it extremely touching and brave that j3 would do this. she loves his bad poetry. they end up back together and stronger than ever now that they no longer have any unaddressed skeletons in the closet. jace is looking at this and is like "j4 i know this is rich coming from me but you need to get up off the ground. you Cannot seriously be entertaining this" and shes like "fuck you jace go scam your fans or whatever it is you do"

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It’s my fault for letting the ask sit so long but now I’m back in Jace + the Jaces hell. Anyway that picture some guy posted on Reddit of like. “My dad and David Bowie on a motorbike in Greece, 1988” and the replies are like. Your dad fucked David Bowie. But it’s J3. That’s all

god. yeah. when j3 is kind of known post-band for having a rotating cast of attractive people around him who he fucks. ellie is so normal about it. its fine. j3 can fuck whoever he wants. its not like it matters. its just physicality. it means nothing when he's too busy to bother to visit her in her cabin up in the mountains while she's recording her first solo album but he has all the time in the world to fly these anonymous twinks out to whatever island he's on this month for a weekend. it's not like they ever defined what they are. theyre not beholden to each other. who's monogamous anymore? it's not like any of them are porter. its not like any of them are bluejay.

anyways. it ALSO means nothing if she calls up bluejay in a fit to ask if he's seen j3. and gets snappy with him when he says that he hasnt. and yells at him a little bit because she knows he's lying, he's lied to her face before. bluejay puts her on the phone with his stupid husband after that and she hangs up on the guy and smashes one of her guitars.

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Let’s hope that in Jace + the jacesverse the threesomes aren’t nearly as emotionally draining at the normal ones j2 is suggested to. Even if this isn’t the secret good version of the torment nexus maybe it can be a secret slightly better version of the torment nexus. Also obsessed w the image of Porter hand feeding j2 breakfast in bed. Even if he has to be around the toxicity he deserves to get a little spoiled

oh yeah i think the threesomes in bandverse are much less emotionally draining and more just straight-up emotional. j2's so enmeshed with jace and porter and theyre so gentle with him, treating him so sweetly and talking about how theyre going to take care of him forever, he won't ever have to worry about anything ever again. bluejay's gonna cry multiple times out of joy. his brain is still cooked and he's absolutely getting isolated from everyone but it's slightly better bc at least he's not trapped in the basement.

and YEAH both porter and jace are spoiling him. porter's very "knight in shining armor"-coded in this one he's always doing some romance novel love interest bullshit with j2. breakfast in bed. a dozen red roses. kissing in the rain. meanwhile jace is essentially doing 24/7 BDSM with j2 by obsessing over his appearance a la brutally honest friend who means well and telling him to do things just to see if he'll obey. he'll make j2 go through an elaborate skincare routine and put a facemask on him and tell him "hold still for five minutes. don't move." and sets a timer for that long and watches j2 go perfectly still. and then calls him a good boy afterwards. it's JUST on the verge of plausible deniability if j4 ever asks about it being a weird sex thing (she does not, she wants to get bluejay out of there but not enough to interact with jace and porter more than she has to)

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appearing out of the depths of my personal tumultuous chaos to say that I am becoming firmly convinced that the process of jace and porter having to move anywhere together would be either the funniest possible disaster or an EERILY smooth event. I'm picturing, like, a world where they're moving in together to use the Happy Couple shtick as a cover for the Plan? So option a) involves porter's spartan martial class lifestyle coming in direct conflict with jace stardiamond, man who would live and die by his personal necessities and creature comforts. porter rocks up with three bags' worth of things (clothes, toiletries, weapons and protein powder, respectively) and jace has to have two Bags of Holding to unpack all his stuff. they fight about it and inevitably fuck about it before even setting up the furniture <3

and then option b) where they're aligned on the matter is just like. jace just sits back with an eye mask on chilling while porter moves every piece of luggage and equpiment manually, even though jace could absolutely have used Telekinesis with minimal effort.

YEAHHHH GOD. truly. i think to minimize the hell that this is. porter moves from his r/MaleSurvivingSpace-ass apartment into jace's townhome. truly just rocking up to jace's doorstep with his three shirts, two pants, shoes, toothbrush, maul, and deodorant and never leaving. but honestly i could see them deciding to move into a place Together for convenience and because their individual places are quickly becoming overtaken by things for The Plan (porter's apartment is filled w ambrosia and devil's honey shipments, jace's townhome is covered in sigils and runes). and the excuse of being a Happy Couple at aguefort provides a great cover.

and i think this is one of those things that really shows that without The Plan they could honestly be a really good couple together. whats that statistic about moving being the third most stressful life event for adults, only behind death of a loved one and divorce? and jace is able to keep porter calm through the whole thing and manage all the moving parts and get them moved into their new home shockingly quickly, like within a week.

porter lets jace handle all of the decorating and curating because that's jace's thing. all he needs is a place to store all his weapons and his workout equipment. and then at the end of the week when theyre settling in. theyre looking around at this space that's truly theirs and are like. well we can't NOT fuck. now that we're finally in our home and we don't have to worry about thin walls.

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Anyway. Jace goes to decorate his classroom in tiny athletic shorts and a tank top because he's like. I mean it's only other staff and faculty right.

And y'know it's his first year he doesn't know anyone so he's like. He is the Goliath over there okay. He won't stop staring at me when I go to get stuff from my car 🙄

No one can tell if Jace genuinely does not understand Porter wants to eat his shirt off of him or if Jace is being a freak as well. No one wants to ask.

[hauntedwizardmoment]

Ok now that you’ve brought it up the concept of Bluejay being Jaceporter’s live in boyfriend / awkward weird little house guest enmeshed in the jaceporter toxicity in Jace + the Jacesverse is so funny and I can’t stop thinking abt it. Finally please get blue in a situation where he’s not waiting on their hand and foot. And yet it’s still fucked in a different way <3

its SO GOOD bc it's like. what if j2 from cloneverse was right and there really WAS a secret good version of the torment nexus. but also there wasnt. also sorry this got long

so timeline vaguely is that first jaceporter get together, and so do lj3. and bluejay is the sole remainder. so he tries dating briefly but the spotlight is too much for any of his non-famous partners, and the famous people interested in him want the stage version of him, this bright-eyed ingenue who is so naive and innocent and virginal, and he hasnt been that for years, come on guys. its especially apparent with the older men who want him. porter is like a toned-down version of this atp because he's fronting as semi-normal to not scare j2 too much.

anyways. he's single, very pretty, and a little lonely bc jace and porter do a lot to keep him insulated from the world that is Too Harsh for their little songbird. theyre always over at his apartment to keep him company (preventing him from making friends outside of the jaceporter-approved circle), they run his social media and screen his calls and emails (restricting who he talks to), and they whisk him off on little adventures all the time (controlling where he is and who he's with).

and so j2's brain is Deeply cooked. he's so enmeshed. he thinks this is them taking care of him, and isnt that so kind of them when they dont have to? they should be spending this time with each other but instead theyre with him, always helping him and paying attention to him. (subtly, jace is like "see how we're here and ellie and j3 aren't? we're the only ones who actually care about you")

ofc the next recording cycle rolls around and so j2 is like. well you guys always come over to my place why dont i come over to yours this time. and he only means to stay for a couple of days. but he and jace have such a clear vision of what the next album should be and they end up spending an entire week in jace's home recording studio and crank out a double album's worth of demos to bring to ellie and j3. and theyre INCREDIBLY good is the thing. they'll go on to be remembered as some of the band's best songs.

and at the end of the week j2's like "well i dont want to overstay my welcome" and jace is like "oh youre not overstaying at all, why dont we celebrate? we did such a good job we deserve this" and j2 is like "okay!" and he spends another week at jace's house getting railed by him and porter w/ brief breaks to shower and eat something.

atp ellie comes looking because she hasnt heard from j2 in two weeks and comes to jace and porter's home like "where IS he. i know you have him" and jace is like "i'm not his keeper why are you asking me" (j2 is in the master bedroom w/ porter being handfed breakfast) and hands ellie the flashdrive full of demos and is like "here we worked on this, give it a listen and get back to me" and slams the door in her face before going back to j2 and porter.

and during this time. i think bluejay confides in them that sometimes he feels lonely. and theyre like "well why don't you move in? so youre not so alone in that apartment of yours." so he DOES. cue even more enmeshment and getting a front row seat to jace and porter's couples drama. plus finding out that porter's been screwing over the band in their contract and jace knows about it and is enabling him. but he's not telling ellie or j3 this because well. it's not like they cared about him enough to stop breathing into each others' mouths for five seconds.

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bluejay is lucky his brain is so cooked that he processes jace's insane control freak behavior towards him as affectionate bc otherwise the poor dear would be crying his eyes out every day

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Jace loooooves that Porter has to duck down to kiss him. Jace never felt one way or the other about his height but he loves being with taller people.

So Porter leaning down (putting in effort lmao) to kiss Jace instead of him having to get onto his toes just to reach Porter’s lips always melts Jace’s heart a lil bit. He loves that Porter can just wrap him up so easily with his hugs too, he loves laying on top of him when they’re on the couch.

He can’t get enough of being pressed up against Porter even if it’s just their pinkies or something during a staff meeting, or Porter’s hand finding his thigh whenever they drive somewhere together. He notices how Porter will always find some excuse to touch him. It’s one of his favorite things about him. How almost innocent it is for someone like Porter.

During the plan it just seemed a little obnoxious. Porter placing a hand on his lower back to slide by when there was more than enough space, leaning in close to whisper in his ear to discuss next steps, brushing their fingers together when they exchanged notes during meetings. Notes! Like they were teenagers! It didn’t make any sense. If he was trying to manipulate him to keep him focused it wasn’t like he had much of a choice to stay or go. The attention didn’t hurt, he liked when Porter focused on him.

Porter wasn’t a particularly clumsy man but he was always a touch distracted and uncoordinated when it was just the two of them. For the most part Jace holds back on using detect thoughts, but on a particularly heated night of planning he takes a peak into Porter’s head and hears all the nerves and second guessing and the repeated chant of his own name running through Porter’s mind.

It was sweet (if he ignored the red flags.) Porter had a crush on him. Not that he could tease him about it, he wanted him for months. Jace doesn’t waste any time to take the papers from Porter’s hands and climb into his lap. He knew there wasn’t a chance Porter made the first move, not that he minded. He could lead as long as Porter followed.

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tiktok's barbarous heterosexual dark romances vs. our blessed toxic old man yaoi

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I have nothing constructive to do with this thought but I simply think Jace should be like.

I literally am so overwhelmed and stressed I literally will not move to help you with anything rn BUT also if you don't make me come you're not touching me for a week. So Porter just like flattens Jace to whatever horizontal surface there is and fucks him so hard Jace forgets how to talk.

Sometimes. You just need the hammer meets nail approach.

[hauntedwizardmoment]

house is a girl you have to take care of her