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[hay1ock]

Argh. I still haven’t written anything about Episode 12 or my overall series thoughts. Time sure does fly and there’s been way too much going on in my life recently lol. I have only just about (though falling behind on a couple already LOL) been keeping up with the currently airing BLs I picked up (& there’s still some I haven’t even started yet lol).

It was great to see the 6 of them back together at the fan meetings today.

God, I miss watching my Only Friends boys every weekend. They really did spoil me on acting, story, and chaos. Have struggled to find a proper replacement, but hoping when I get round to starting it Last Twilight will fill the void nicely ☺️

(Credit on the photo)

[hay1ock]

Not me putting off writing any kind of Only Friends Episode 12 ramble because then I’ll have to accept that it’s over 😭

I’ll have to do it soon as would like to add some of my thoughts here and complete the experience☺️

I loved the show so much.

[hay1ock]

Only Friends Episode 11. I love Ray and Sand so much 😭 Yeah, mainly a Ray and Sand ramble this week. Oops lol

I’m so glad we got to see them coming back together this episode rather than skipping ahead or anything. The first scene with Sand and Yo and then Plug showing up. 1. I’m so happy they got back together. The question of ‘Do you want to be taken care of?’ And Yo’s little nods😭 Cos seriously same. Take care of me! And 2. I liked how Yo’s fears were tied to Ray’s, about people just wanting her for money and scared when someone claims to genuinely love her. And Sand expressing what he wished Ray might do, take a risk and believe someone cares for him.

Ray’s scene with Sand’s mum was lovely. He’d never had that nurturing loving experience with his own mum and even if Ray’s dad asked Sand for help, the way he speaks and acts towards his son leaves a lot to be desired. So it was great to see her being gentle and understanding, even rooting for him and Sand to patch things up. The switch to then Sand in the bar with his father, the strange comfort he received from someone who would only consider themselves a stranger in Sand’s life. First’s acting though, the slightly teary eyes and voice crack when it was pointed out he was alone that night. Yeah, I really liked they found a little comfort from the parental figures each had been missing in their lives.

‘Sand’. Ray found him 🥺 The way they looked at each other, Ray’s repeated ‘I’m sorry’, the tears, the hug, the relief for both of them. I knew I would love these characters at the very least on the surface level because they are wearing First’s and Khaotung’s faces, but honestly, these two… I care so much about them. For me their characters have been the most interesting and as we moved through the episodes I really wanted for them to overcome the obstacles and Ray’s issues to be able to be together. I truly hope they get a happy (or at the very least open/hopeful ending).

But anyway, the next couple of scenes are adorable - the bathtub and hand holding, Ray’s community service and the kids, planning for music festivals and getting passports. And then the music store scene and the way Sand rubbed the back of Ray’s head and how stupidly cute Ray was looking and the singing and… It’s amazing to see them like this. We’d had fleeting peeks before of how their relationship might be when Ray wasn’t spiralling, so it was great to see them just getting to be together when things had settled a little.

And then ‘he came in like a wrecking balllll’. Hi Boeing. Even though I’m a little hmm about Top and Mew sometimes, I didn’t exactly enjoy Boeing meddling so was glad Mew had eventually turned him away. Unfortunately, that now means he’s moved onto Sand. The way they focussed on his hand lingering on Sand’s shoulder when they met up. I’m not sure where Boeing’s been until Top brought him back into the Only Friends world, so all this time Sand’s anger has been directed at Top. It’s also probably easier to hate the person you weren’t in love with. Mew still loves Top despite the cheating, so I don’t see why that can’t be true for Sand. There’s not really a time period on a persons feelings toward another. But yeah *curses Top for needing a sleeping buddy* Boeing was given a kind of false hope with Top, then tried to play dirty riling up Mew, and now humiliated and tossed aside has turned to Sand. Maybe he thought he could use Sand’s old feelings and this time get what he wants, some kind of validation of himself. We don’t know that much about him, other than he does seem to enjoy manipulating things and not happy when things don’t go his way. So I do wonder if he thought Sand might be an easy victory, and not necessarily in a relationship way, just a use and dump, but then here’s Ray and now it’s a bigger challenge, so he goes all in and kinda twists things as if he is the one wronged and who suffered😑

Not sure where I stand on the whole sending Ray away thing. Part of me would want him there ‘if you’ve got something to say, you can say it to both of us’, but also, I don’t trust Boeing and really wouldn’t want him finding anything out about Ray, probably a reason Sand hadn’t mentioned he had a boyfriend (though maybe Ray would have really left the bar feeling more confident and secure about their relationship if he had and Boeing hadn’t dropped Sand in it - he knew what he was doing), plus there’s a chance Boeing could say something that upsets Ray and he’s early in his rehab efforts with therapy and reducing his alcohol consumption so…

As Sand’s mum said, Sand is super caring and wants to be there for people, and with the memories and feelings of what was between them I get why he might be hesitant to cut Boeing off as if they’d been nothing to one another. It’s a tough one and I’ll be interested to see if next episode we get some kind of flashback, a bit like how people were conflicted about Ray leaving Sand for Mew at the end of episode 3 and then we got the bathtub flashback and kiss, and whether you agreed with Ray’s actions or not, you could at least understand from his POV why he picked up the call and went to help Mew. Hoping we do get one or maybe more confirmation on how their relationship was.

I’m glad Ray stepped in, I’m not sure which way Sand would have gone in the end, not so much any kind of cheating I don’t feel, but at the very least letting Boeing hang around him further into the night. The suggestion of a pool party, however, I did not expect. Not 100% sure what Ray is hoping to achieve, maybe it’s a ‘keep your enemies close’ kind of thing and trying to get a feel for what angle Boeing is playing. Also, not a test as such, but wanted to assess what is going on with Sand and his feelings. It hasn’t been long since Ray’s doubts and insecurities had him yelling and crying and slamming lockers. No matter who tells him, his father, Sand’s mum, Sand himself, how much Sand cares for him, I’m sure those insecurities can’t simply vanish in an instant. I’ll be interested to see what the hell’s going to happen next episode between the 3 of them. Also, I hope Ray isn’t drinking in the pool because he’s feeling stressed (so in excess) vs what I’m assuming is a set daily amount/gradual reduction during rehab.

Okay, not going to add too much on anyone else this week (I say) as it’s nearly time for episode 12.

Top and Mew. I honestly don’t know how I feel about them anymore. I think I’m as tired as Top lol. While I agree with Top over Mew needing to give him a proper chance, get shut of Boeing and his second round of revenge, and also sympathise with him being in love and having changed and feeling guilty and wanting to be forgiven, I also don’t like how Top went about certain things. Like talking to Mew’s mums, following him about, turning up in front of him so often and I feel like he never gave Mew a chance to deal properly with his feelings without him being in front of Mew and constantly bringing him back to that initial anger and bitterness, saying he’s suffered enough - I’m not sure it’s his place to say that - asking Mew to move in already and to make up for the time Mew was ‘sulking’ - my guy, it’s not like you ate his last candy bar or something. You fucked his friend!

If Mew loves him and is now willing to give Top a real chance, no more games, then good luck to them both. I’ve said before about ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’. I’ve never been put in Mew’s position. I can theorise all I like, but in reality I might feel differently. So, as long as they are properly onboard giving their relationship a second chance then so am I.

Nick and Boston. Again, so long as there’s no more games and crying, and everybody knows where they stand, then I can happily be onboard for whatever relationship they decide upon and for however long that is for. I am a little sus over Dan’s expression, however, when Nick left, having turned down the boyfriend idea. Surely, there isn’t enough time for him to make a mess as well as Boeing?

Atom and Cheum. Feel a bit bad as to how Nick and Boston went about setting him up for a confession, but I mean, it was a particularly shitty lie he made about Boston that if taken seriously and to the police, could have ruined Boston’s life. I’m glad he confessed to Cheum and yes as his sister she had every right to believe him last week and to comfort and hug him this week, but, a little more scolding than ‘my wicked little brother’ might have endeared her to me as I’ve not been her greatest fan over certain scenes/actions.

I think that’ll do for this episode. Really excited to see how the series ends❤️

[hay1ock]

Now the initial shock of seeing only one of the new wave of main couples in a show from these upcoming projects, I decided to go back and rewatch the GMMTV trailers. And to be honest, now I’m not sat here going ‘Who are you? And who the frick are you? Wait, you, I know, hurrah.’ I did come out thinking there were a number of shows I’ll likely give a chance, or at least check out the first episode.

Ploy’s Yearbook - looks cute and yay girls, but not for me I feel. Next!

We Are - mixed feelings for this one, but I’ll give it a chance. I’ve not really gotten into anything that’s a simple fluffy uni romance in what seems like forever, which is what this is giving, so it’s going to have to charm the pants off me, have something about it & excellent characters/chemistry to keep me invested beyond 3 episodes. Happy to see PondPhuwin again, as well as MarcPawin. Not been super interested in the other two couples as of yet, but that’s mainly down to the few things I’ve seen them in, or shows I’ve skipped so maybe missed out on chances to get attached to them. 4 couples though, that’s a lot of cast to juggle but not impossible, and I guess it depends which are maybe main vs side couples and how complex their stories/relationships are. Fingers crossed their stories can be woven together well.

The Trainee - I’ll give it 1 episode to win me over. OffGun is an odd one for me. Theory of Love really didn’t endear them to me as a couple. I wasn’t keen on Off’s character and to me the story just felt so drawn out. I was so put off that I couldn’t bring myself to watch the absolute masterpiece that is Not Me until much later, after realising First was in it. Not Me was a serious drama and OffGun were amazing. I’m waiting to see how they fair in something more recent that is on the lighter side so am planning to check out Cooking Crush when it finally gets here. If CC wins me over then I might go into The Trainee more excited. Though I’ve been enjoying the more serious shows recently, I still enjoy lighter stuff so if it’s fun and can hook me with something, then I’ll maybe tune in past the first episode.

Only Boo - I’m glad I watched these trailers again as my first impression of this one was very much a nope. But I dunno, on a second watch it did seem far more charming than I’d given it credit for. I’m definitely going to watch the first episode, because I feel like maybe it’ll pull a My School President on me where I wasn’t going to bother watching but then I did and it was one of the cutest and most fun things I’d ever watched and fell in love with the characters. So, though I still feel that it might not be my thing, if it brings the fun and charm in the first episode, then I’ll keep tuning in.

Pluto - definitely will be checking this one out. I’ve been waiting on 23.5 for forever (give it to me already) so I’m glad that a second GL is in the works. The plot looks pretty interesting so unless they somehow manage to mess everything up and make it terrible, I plan to be watching every week.

On Sale/Peaceful Property - haven’t looked up what the actual title is lol. Is this just bromancy? Again haven’t gone looking for an answer but it looks fun and ridiculous and TayNew are here (this gives me OTT New like he was in Warp Effect and I’m living for it) and Janhae who is my queen 😍. So yeah, I think this one could be really fun and spooky so shall be checking this one out for sure.

Ossan’s Love - yay, a new EarthMix show. Really excited as enjoyed the original office-based season. (I mean the airport setting was cool and all but I missed my Maki in season 2🙁) Anyway, this could be pretty fun and EarthMix are my first loves. Guess we’ll have to wait and see how long it takes to get the project going, but it’s definitely one I’ll be watching when it comes out.

My Golden Blood - *narrows eyes* okay being a huge Buffy/Angel and Vampire Diaries fan back in the day I’m cautiously interested as do enjoy vampire stuff. Now having seen the trailer, this could be great or it could be kinda cringe. I guess it depends how the show is presented as I do love some campy horror fun but I imagine this is more on the serious side so we’ll have to see how they balance things and how much flying and vampire hissing they do at each other come the proper thing. Joss and Gawin was not a pairing I was expecting but I could see it working. Also, with the special blood mention, kinda got me thinking about Kissable Lips. Anyway, shall be giving it an episode to win me over.

Kidnap - again, not gone looking but is this a BL or is it bromance/gonna look after you cos you’re like my little bro type thing? Either way, it looks kinda cool and shall be giving it a shot as love the bromance buddy action movie aesthetic. So the more competent protector and his hapless partner lol.

Summer Night - I know I’m not alone in thinking we had a DunkPhuwin series for a whole 5 seconds lol. Not my kind of show so… next!

Wandee Goodday - this one I’m definitely interested in checking out. Seems a solid, on the mature side drama so hopefully it’ll turn out great. Nothing much to add, just looking forward to this one.

High School Frenemy - never been a fan of this kind of enemy schools/classes in anime and manga so not planning on watching this at all. Enjoy if it’s your kind of thing.

My Love Mix-up - I love the Japanese adaption, but like for Cherry Magic I have no knowledge of the manga or how close the live action versions were to the source material. As tv shows/stories I really like them, so will be interesting to see what differences there might be with these new versions. I think Gemini and Fourth were a great pick for this. Definitely watching this one.

Enigma 2 - didn’t watch Enigma 1 so until/if I ever get to that, this one will have to wait.

And there we have it. A few that interest me so definitely want to give a watch, and most of the others I’m willing to give a chance. Looking forward to hopefully seeing more of the ‘merchandise’ couples in the 2nd part.

[hay1ock]

Sure just rip my heart out and stomp all over it. Only Friends Episode 10.

It only took 10 episodes but they’ve finally done it and made me feel sympathetic to Top’s situation lol. I’ve clearly gone through my character arc 😝, that or they just made me more annoyed at other characters involved in their part of the story than I am at Top. Boeing, I am looking at you. Mew, you are pushing it. But in all seriousness, I had said I was trying to look at Top more positively, as I have seen him change from Mr Smugface Top Tier to a Mew simp.

I get why Mew would be annoyed to find Boeing at Top’s place and how it maybe set things back in his mind after deciding to give Top a second chance. Boeing was happy to stir the pot and I’m not really sure what he’s hoping to achieve other than annoy me and Top, and probably Ray and Sand too based on the preview. Is it just revenge at being dumped? Does he want Top? Mew? Sand? Is he Boston 2.0 so if he can’t be happy then no one can? Him pushing up his glasses at the end of the scene in Top’s apartment gave me full on anime villain vibes lol.

And then there’s Mew. Omg accidentally liking one of Boeing’s insta posts💀Like I said I get Boeing’s appearance probably upset him all over again. But I had thought revenge era was kind of over after everything that happened with Ray. The talk at the hostel and pushing Top in the pool felt like things were settled about Mew giving him that second chance. But then suddenly inviting Boeing to the wakeboarding… Now, maybe he’s got some trick up his sleeve and is somehow playing Boeing in some way, or maybe he is testing Top, because trust is a hard thing to win back and there’s no way he would want to be taken for a fool all over again (Though from a viewer POV we have seen how Top interacts with Boeing and there’s nothing between them). I don’t know what he’s up to. Also, I feel like he let Boeing’s lips touch his for way too long lol. I just feel it ignited my sympathy for Top in wanting Mew to make a choice. Either commit to the two of them and give Top that chance properly with no games or tests, or let it go, call time on him and Top and find a (healthy) way to move on.

And so onto Boston and Nick. Boston certainly had a tough time while Nick was exploring things with Daddy Dan. I knew Atom was a little scary but to straight up lie and imply Boston took advantage of him… Ugh. I’m not Cheum’s biggest fan but I can’t blame her for believing her brother over Boston, especially considering the whole pursuing and manipulating Top thing that just happened recently. I didn’t like everything she said, and Mew seemed to enjoy the moment a bit too much with his little pat on Boston’s shoulder, but as Ray brought up, and Cheum later focussed on, regardless of anything else, Atom is her little brother. And though it really isn’t anyone’s business if they’re both consenting adults, it isn’t really the done thing to shag your bestie’s siblings. I know Boston tried to dissuade Atom a bit, but considering how strained the friendships already were, he probably should have took a hard pass on sleeping with Atom. Kicking him out the project too was a bit rough. It seemed as if Ray wasn’t quite down with everything that was happening, and I certainly felt bad for Boston. He did something shitty to Mew, but he doesn’t deserve this bullshit scenario Atom has created. But we’ll have to see where things go, if the truth comes out, or if Boston is left abandoned and without a way to graduate, and so goes with his back up plan of moving to New York.

Boston had already seemed to be having ‘feelings’ about Nick. First, looking at his picture and then last episode after seeing him with Dan. Whether it’s love or just fondness/familiarity, missing his company, after all he does say he missed him, it’ll be interesting to see where, if anywhere, he and Nick goes. I do at least feel as if he’s being genuine this time rather than dangling hope-shaped relationship carrots in front of Nick. Their scenes in the store and on the roof were really good and I did feel like I could get on board with them again. I mean, it’ll come down to if they can be honest with each other about what they really want their relationship to be as to whether anything between them is going to work. I don’t know if Boston can, wants to or even should change his sex life. Obviously, there were a couple of people he should have definitely not had sex with, but in general having multiple partners and enjoying sex isn’t anything bad or wrong. I don’t know what he can actually offer Nick in the end. I mean, their sex scene certainly showed a hell of a lot more care than anything we’d seen before. Hopefully, Boston can figure out what he wants and what degree of a relationship he is able to commit to. I would prefer him to be honest about what he can offer Nick, be it an attempt at being boyfriends or just their old agreement of friends with benefits, and then it’ll be down to Nick to make an informed decision. And whether he needs to have a little chat with Dan as to where exactly everybody stands.

And finally, Ray and Sand. Argh, it hurts. First punch to the gut - I just don’t want to sing at your funeral. Second punch - how fucking cute Ray and his donut was lol. I’m glad Ray didn’t force Sand to reveal himself to his father and gave him an out even if it was at the last moment. Who knows how the guy might have taken the news. Sand had been going to the bar on a number of occasions so deep down he probably does want to tell him, but it was right of Ray to not pressure him by making it a condition of him going to rehab in the end. Rehab/therapy, I’m glad Ray went that first time, even if he was doing it purely because Sand asked him to. I can understand his reluctance to talk at that point. He’s kept everything buried beneath alcohol for years. There’s that fear of if you start talking, be vulnerable for even a moment then everything will come tumbling out and you’ll have to face what you’ve been forcing down. The same goes for stopping drinking. Ray has numbed himself to his trauma for a long time, without alcohol there’s going to be a hell of a lot of feelings coming to the surface as well as withdrawal and shifts in mood.

I think Ray’s father having asked Sand for help in getting Ray into rehab had been the most likely end to that conversation from episode 7, and of course, Ray overheard them. I’d been so proud of him for putting the bottles of alcohol in the bin. If only he’d had a bigger bin he might not have gone downstairs maybe in search of garbage bags (also I’ll assume the maid would empty the bin and recycle those bottles lol). The scene at Sand’s place though. God damn, it was so good and hurt like a bitch. As soon as money was involved, Ray couldn’t believe Sand had ever cared for him. Threw back some of what Sand had said about ‘doing anything for money’, ‘liking jobs that pay big’. The way he broke down, feeling betrayed and used, and thinking all the times he’d been happy were nothing but lies. My heart. And of course Sand. He could have easily screamed and shouted right back and yet he did his best to treat Ray gently and calmly, despite being emotional. Ack, and the frustrated cry after he broke down once Ray left, the realisation that he was asking Ray to quit alcohol but could just as easily enable him by having alcohol in his home and him throwing that jar of plum wine. I wonder if we’ll see an on screen reconciliation or skip forward? There’s also Boeing to possibly cause more problems, though I want to say I have faith Sand wouldn’t go back there, though if it’s at a time when he and Ray aren’t back on good terms… I know Sand seems to have it out for Top, but I’d assume he wouldn’t be all that impressed with the ex that cheated either.

And then another impressive performance from Khaotung as Ray. I’m glad Ray’s father cleared things up, though the way he speaks to Ray at the start, honestly, I get why Ray wouldn’t want to listen and gets defensive. I wonder if he’s always spoken so harshly or if their communication broke down over time as Ray spiralled lower? Ray looked tired and done with everything after the situation with Sand was revealed and I’m kind of happy we see him going straight back to the therapist. If he wants a relationship with Sand, it’s in his best interests to start facing his demons. I’m sure Sand will do what he can to support him, but he needs to do it for himself not just because Sand told him to. This time he has attended rehab, yes still for Sand, but this time because he wants to, he chose to go, he chose to take the steps to stop hurting the person he loves. It’s a step on the road to recovery.

Being with me requires patience - as soon as he said that all I could think about were the comments from people who were so against Ray these last few episodes. His character indeed needs patience and understanding. Because of drink and drugs he’s not always in control of his actions, because of his past he doesn’t always behave appropriately or as you want him to. He’s emotional and he’s a mess. But he can also be adorable and kind and loving and make Sand smile. For those moments, Sand has put up with a lot. Like I said last episode, if Sand is strong enough and indeed has the patience, then I want for him to support Ray in getting better and continue to love him. Because yes, Ray deserves to be loved and happy.

Overall, this was a fantastic episode. I’m confused over Top and Mew, hopeful for Sand and Ray, and willing to support Boston and Nick in figuring out what they want to be to one another. I would like for the truth to come out about Atom, and for Boeing to get lost and just do one lol.

I’m really excited for the next episode. I can’t believe we’re so close to the end.

[hay1ock]

Late as usual lol. Only Friends Episode 9. My heart is full and my anxiety for the next 3 episodes is high lol.

Really enjoyed this episode and was nice to see the main couples kind of moving back toward each other, though seems there’s still a rocky road ahead.

These are my opinions and how I viewed what went down between everyone this episode, but don’t be surprised when I’m not hating on Ray. He’s the character I’m most invested in still.

So, opening with the morning after the night before. I think every character has crossed some sort of boundary at some point throughout the show and certainly Top was amongst those last episode after cuddling up to a passed out Mew. I don’t know how long they stayed like that but I don’t imagine Mew would have reacted quite as well as he did by just finding Top outside fishing cups out the pool. Like Mew says later, I can see his efforts throughout the episode but it did feel a little bit too much at times, especially when Mew’s moms were there too. Maybe let the man breathe and have a chance to sort through his feelings properly.

I’m trying to think more positively about Top as I know he loves Mew. Sometimes you just don’t vibe with characters or even people in real life and there was just something early on that was off-putting about Top. It was those initial interactions that felt possessive over Mew that have left this lingering suspicion about everything he does. I guess from back when he was in full TOP TIER mode and was all Mr Smugface. I appreciate him deciding to not show Mew the video of Sand and Ray. When he was looking at it again when shopping with the moms I was like, for the love of god not now lol. Mew knew he wanted to talk about Ray and probably didn’t need any hints dropping in the end, but I think it did help prompt Mew to open a long overdue conversation with Ray.

Where Top and Mew go from here we’ll have to see with the introduction of Boeing. I figured with Top’s insomnia and sleeping issues he was maybe calling someone to stay over. Now I’m hoping it was just to have a body beside him so he knew he wasn’t alone and could get to sleep. I don’t personally think with all the effort he was putting in Top would risk actually hooking up with anyone else until he was sure there was zero chance of him and Mew ever happening again, but you never know. Plus the fact it’s an ex and a very real possibility his and Sand’s shared ex… not messy at all lol. Hopefully, Mew won’t regret deciding to give him a second chance. Again, I don’t really know how I’d feel if it ever happened to me. There are no feelings on Top’s part toward Boston and yes, Boston dripped poison in his ear. It was before Mew and Top swapped I Love Yous and had sex… I guess the only way to know if he can forgive him is by trying to be with him again. It will either reignite or snuff out completely the lingering feeling of love.

Jumping back to Ray and Sand. The tension between them in that music room scene was just wow. The amount of emotions Sand expressed with his eyes alone was just…First always impresses me.

In the end I feel bad for them both. Sand doing his best to walk away and move on, despite his feelings for Ray, and Ray desperate to hold onto the one person who has made him happy in a long time. Sand has known what Ray is like since their first meeting and yet he still fell for him. He’s seen the bad, the absolute worst, but he’s also seen the Ray who isn’t blackout drunk or high or triggered by his trauma and abandonment issues. It’s up to Sand if he thinks he can handle a person who is dealing with so much baggage. Personally, if Sand is strong enough I want for him to support and continue to love Ray. With him, Ray is so much better, episode 5 showed how good they can be together, and for each other, as Sand also got to have fun and live a little like a student should, not just living to work. Obviously, love isn’t a cure for mental illness and addiction, but thinking that even on the bad days, especially in Ray’s case, that someone can stick around and does love him, then it can make things a little bit easier. I just need Ray to realise there is someone there for him and so it’s now up to him to want to get better. Because Mew’s right, most people do have some kind of limit as to what they can put up with, and Ray is A LOT.

Now, I don’t support cheating and agree that with no context Ray and Top’s action are pretty much as bad as each other. As a viewer, however, I know the relationships of TopMew and RayMew are very different. Top and Mew were supposed to be in love. Top dropped his boyfriend (yep, based on passage of time and what was said in ep 3 and 4, and beyond, I am willing to die on this hill LOL) at home, met up with Boston, got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago and then decided (after Boston twisted the truth a little) fucking Boston was the appropriate response. I just find myself struggling to be as sympathetic about that situation as I am concerning the Ray and Mew and Sand mess. In a way, when Mew says how what Ray did was the same as what Top did to him, I felt as if he maybe saw it how I did - how Sand kind of falls into the role of Mew in this trio’s case. (Ray isn’t doing it behind Sand’s back as such but he is involved in perpetuating a lie about his and Mew’s relationship).

It is Sand and Ray who were in the developing relationship, where feelings of love were being nurtured. Sand had reset them back to friends after episode 5, but it seemed, after the crash, as if they were once again growing closer. But then, in comes Mew. This isn’t to villainize him. He himself was hurt and confused and looking to get away from himself, and probably didn’t think about what it really meant for the two of them if they stepped beyond friends. If he hadn’t questioned Ray’s feelings for him, opened the door to what if, then I feel like Ray would likely have never brought it up himself. He had been told by Mew if he wanted him in his life, he had to give up on thinking of him in a romantic light. However, Mew put it out there. Regardless of his feelings for Sand, Ray would never risk losing Mew, he said it himself during their conversation this episode. If he rejected Mew there’s the fear Mew might be upset, abandon him completely. If he told him there was someone else, about Sand, there’s the risk it would be seen as a betrayal - so you didn’t really love me (Mew) all this time? It was a lie?

I just really sympathise with Ray’s situation, especially when it feels as if his love for Mew has been his one reason for staying alive for the last couple of years (though it seems he’s only recently been living since meeting Sand). Though he was not actively pursuing Mew, being by his side and cherishing him as a friend has been a constant in his life, his purpose, one that was thrown into disarray when Top came into the picture. He’s scared of people leaving him and now he has two important people in his life he can’t let go of.

But in all of this, Sand is who I felt for the most. Sand was the one who had the most emotional investment in the mess. Who was watching the person he liked going back to another man.

Mew was never invested. We knew since last episode he wasn’t. Not kissing Ray when they were alone but doing so in front of Top to spite him. Daydreaming of intimate bookstore dates with Top but not seeming to want to do anything one-to-one with Ray, instead going out and requesting parties. Even this episode, Mew was happy to agree to drink with another man, lock eyes with him over the rim of his glass, get chatted up. It just felt like there should have been the conversation of ‘sure we can talk but my boyfriend will be here soon’ in that moment.

Then we’re at Mew’s place. I understand Ray saying love makes the most sense when used in talking about Mew. He knows he loves Mew vs whatever the hell it is that keeps drawing him back to Sand. Maybe if Mew had phrased it differently a conversation could have started but the word love for Ray at this point only applies to Mew. A kiss leads to things getting handsy and Mew pushing him away. Ray’s despair filled ‘again’, actually kind of hurt. Ray was harsh, frustrated but I believe him when he said it wasn’t only about wanting sex or beating Top. Ray has always seemed like he craves intimacy, be it kisses, sex, simply hugging Sand in the morning, always reaching out and taking hold of Sand’s hand/wrist and wanting a connection. Mew has the right to say no, but I understand Ray seeing it as rejection, why he asked was he that bad? It’s just more proof he’s unlovable. It was like he was begging for Mew to prove him wrong, give him any sign there was anything between them. But Mew stays quiet. Do I wish they could have talked calmly and maybe gotten to the bottom of what they were doing to each other right then? I really do. But instead they go their separate ways.

Sand really did underestimate Ray’s desire to come see him. And no, I don’t think it had anything to do with sex at this point either, despite what I’ve seen a few people think. Oh Mew wouldn’t fuck him so he’s off to Sand. Personally, I felt it was about him wanting his comfort person, the person who shows him intimacy and care. The person who despite Ray turning up at 2am and being pissed off still allowed Ray to cuddle up to him.

Will drop it in here that Sand Ray Nick is the comedy trio I never knew I needed. Nick and Sand were so wholesome this episode and I’m glad they got to have fun, have a little kiss and stick to being the good friends they are.

I’m glad Sand was honest with Ray, finally properly admitting how he feels about him. Ray’s been in an odd limbo with Sand, another reason he was probably scared to make a proper decision between the two of them, because what if he picked wrong and lost both of them. It was cute how Sand helped lead Ray out of the water.

And so, we’re outside the caravan. Ray back in his ‘would anybody really care if I wasn’t here’ mode. I kind of like that he was in Sand’s t-shirt that had WANTED on it. In that moment, Ray really did feel wanted, realising someone would care if he was gone. It was a mixed feeling when he said about following Sand’s dream with him, up til now there’s been no hint Ray thinks about the future. Mew was behind setting up the hostel for him, so it was nice to see him finally think about something, even if it is to accompany Sand on his dreams, rather than declaring them as his own just yet.

Now, do I wish we could have had a clean break with Mew before the beautiful sex scene? Yes, I kind of do. But for Sand’s benefit more than anything else. So, he could be sure Ray was finally choosing him. Because of what we know, the fact RayMew was a sham, that Mew had no feelings invested this time around that could actually be hurt, I personally wasn’t conflicted by Ray and Sand having sex. It really felt as if Ray had made his choice. Their scene together was beautifully done, the love in Ray’s eyes and the gentle kisses after sex as they lay together. I was so happy for them.

And then, for anyone still in doubt about Mew really not giving a fuck, we have the much needed conversation between him and Ray. I’m glad they came out of it still friends and it’s not hard to see why. Neither’s heart was really in it. I like that Ray was able to be honest when prompted. It gave me a similar feel as what happened with Sand at the end of episode 5, except this time he got to talk things through with Mew. I feel as if he doesn’t feel he’s allowed to talk about stuff, or maybe how to open up and start, it was like he wanted Sand to ask questions on that night and so in a way he was relieved when Mew asked and opened up the conversation. His expression seemed to relax, accepting it was time to get everything out in the open. I’m excited and scared where things will go next. Ray was less than convincing in saying he’d talk to a therapist when Mew reminded him. It does seem from the preview he might make a move in that direction, though it seems he’s in his ‘bargaining’ stage of his grief. If he’s going to do something difficult, then so should Sand in meeting his dad. Doing it for someone else rather than himself probably isn’t going to go well, even if he admitted he has problems and was seeking help for himself, the road ahead would be littered with ups and downs, but I’m hoping by the end of the series we can at least leave him (& Sand) on an up.

So, what else for Nick. Well, I suppose there could still be some bedroom kinks for Daddy Dan, but seems the name came from Nick rather than Dan instigating it. It was sweet to see Nick smile and apparently, feel something vs his sparkless attempt at kissing Sand. I hope Dan is a good guy, there is the possible power imbalance due to him being Nick’s boss, but I’d like to think it could work out. I just wonder what the ‘lots of issues’ with his last relationship were. The scene between Nick and Boston was… interesting lol. I’m not sure it needed to be done right then and there in the bathroom but hey, when you’ve gotta go pour out your feelings, you’ve just gotta go. Plus Boston was kind of a captive audience backed into the stall so Nick got to get everything off his chest. It looked as if Boston was slightly moved, and seeing Nick with Dan, it seemed as if he had some sort of regrets. I don’t know if it’s any form of love or like, or it’s more missing just having him around as a friend. They spent a lot of time together it seemed like at the water park and Nick taking an interest in his photography - like has he shared this passion with the people who were supposed to be his friends? So yeah, maybe it’s just having someone around who was constant and a bit more intimate. I guess we shall see…

And speaking of Boston. Good luck when Cheum finds out you shagged her brother. And it does seem Atom is Nick 2.0 the upgraded crazier version. It was interesting to see Boston step back inside the gate when Atom got angry, rarely see Boston being the one to get intimidated and back up. It was only supposed to be a one night stand type of deal, Atom asked for it and though there was a little bit of hesitation, Boston accepted the invitation for sex. I’m actually a little scared for Boston. People can do crazy things when feelings get involved and Atom really doesn’t seem to be handling his well. I’m hoping nothing serious goes down, but when Cheum finds out I’m not sure Boston will be back with the group anytime soon lol.

Is that everything? I think so. This was heavy on the Ray rambling I think lol, though he was in two large chunks of story with Mew and with Sand. I just find his character so interesting. Anyway, I look forward to seeing the three couples’ dynamics next episode as well as how the characters around them play roles in what goes on.

I really do love this show.

[hay1ock]

Pain for you. And pain for you. Pain for everybody.

Only Friends Episode 8 was a mess and I appreciate that lol.

Where to even start? These characters do be playing up this week.

I think I’ll start easy with Nick, who only got a couple of significant scenes this episode. Firstly, how freaking adorable was he as Detective Conan? (To be fair everybody looked amazing in their costumes) The glasses and hair and his little bow tie. He was super cute and you’d never think he’d be out here bugging cars lol. But yeah, before party time we get a scene and are introduced to Papang’s character, Dan. A senior, so a handful of years older, who’s offering him a job. I hate to say it, I already feel like Nick’s heading for more problems if he does end up pursuing a relationship. Firstly, he’s his boss, which is fine-ish, it will just depend on the power dynamics between them. And then how those dynamics translate to the Daddy Dan stuff we see in the preview. I was just wary of Dan saying there were ‘lots of issues’ with his previous relationship, so whether being called Daddy means he’s into dom/sub stuff and his other partner wasn’t… I guess we’ll have to see, and if that is the case, whether that’s something Nick is interested in exploring.

In terms of him and Boston this episode. Nick, baby, you really need to let it go. I felt bad for him as he happily chatted away about getting a position at the animation company. But I understand why Boston is doubly pissed at him now what with Mew getting hold of Gap’s recording. And as much as I hate agreeing with Boston, he is right, it’s not really Nick’s place to judge him, especially in light of his own actions regarding the wiretap. Also, I enjoy his continued friendship with Sand. I’m glad they were able to makeup and stay friends after Sand’s betrayal of trust.

Boston was also pretty straightforward this episode. He was mostly just minding his own business with a side of irritating Top. Their scene made me chuckle but knew as soon as they were together they’d end up getting spotted by Mew. The fact Boston was looking at the photo of him and Nick this episode is interesting. I don’t know if it’s ‘feelings’ as such for Nick, but maybe he kind of misses him as they had been spending a lot of time together. Whether anything else happens between them, I’m not sure. It seems both Nick and Boston will be exploring new people. Oh Atom. I can’t decide if he’s going to end up being Nick 2.0 or if it is casual curiosity about his sexuality and men. Boston wouldn’t be the worst person to explore that if feelings stay out of it. It’ll be interesting what goes on between them. Also, as a part-time Cheum non-appreciator (sorry Cheum fans) I enjoyed Boston getting back at her a little at the pool side.

And so onto the mess that is Ray and Mew and Top and Sand.

Back to the beginning of the episode. I find the Ray and Mew dynamic really sad. As much as I would love for them to work out, the truth is, in their current states, they’re bad for each other. Where before Mew was a light, someone who could, to a limited degree, lift Ray up and help in keeping a handle on things, now Mew is spiralling down to meet him. Heartbreak and betrayal can make people act out so I can understand Mew’s desire to be someone else for a little while. Being a ‘good’ boy got him nothing good. It’s interesting to me how his style in clothes and obviously the vices he’s trying are very Ray-ish in particular. I suppose his only other immediate blueprint would be Boston, and sex with just anyone probably isn’t as easy for someone like Mew.

I wonder if Ray would have been as forthcoming with meeting Mew’s requests if Mew hadn’t thrown out the possibility of them getting together? If Ray had stayed firmly in the friend zone would he have been able to hold back, try and support Mew via other means? As it is, Mew has offered him a chance to be with him. Personally, I don’t think they’re together together, more in some strange pre-boyfriend trial period like Top was put into. He’s flirting with the idea, trying to view Ray and their relationship through a different lens. Mew keeps saying he should love him, not that he does. He’s probably not ready to be in another relationship straight away and I would like to think that maybe Mew is aware enough of his feelings (or lack of) to keep Ray at a distance. Like he knows it won’t work out and maybe this way they can avoid too much hurt when the party inevitably ends - at least when he’s thinking clearer and not high and drunk.

Ray is kind of stuck in this place of wanting to please Mew and going along with everything. And it doesn’t help that Ray’s unable to admit he himself has a problem where drink and drugs are concerned, that he needs help, so we can’t expect him to be able to make a rational decision on someone else’s behalf (though he did query the cigarette at first).

Mew right now, isn’t the person Ray fell in love with. I don’t want to say he is using Ray but it’s hard to ignore that he is at some points - as an escape/distraction, as a way to get access to and indulge in bad habits, and as a way to get back at Top. The way he wouldn’t kiss Ray in private but would in front of Top.

Talking of Top, I’m kind of proud he was able to stay calm and not slap Mew when he ended up with a face full of drink. He’s a better person than me lol. But then to stand any chance of getting Mew back, he needs to let himself be Mew’s punching bag. He needs to take all the hurtful words and actions and hope at some point there can be some forgiveness. Again, I have no idea what I would do in Mew’s situation. I feel like it’s possible he could take Top back (I mean it’s classed as a BL right? So, chances are they’ll come back together by ep 12 unless there’s a 2nd Season or something). He clearly still has feelings for Top, thinking about him at the bookstore and his little ‘why’d you have to be an asshole’ and sad eyes while sat on the kitchen floor. And it’s also apparent Top fell for Mew and regrets sleeping with Boston. However, I’m still wary of him because of certain behaviours of his in earlier episodes. The Boston thing was shitty, but there was a degree of manipulation and misinformation from Boston. Top just ended up being weak and did something incredibly stupid there was no way of taking back. It’s some of the more possessive type behaviours that bother me, though honestly, Mew isn’t exactly a pushover so maybe I need to start forgiving Top a little bit too… that is assuming him having an envelope full of money ready to hand over was pure coincidence *narrows eyes*. I’m glad he bailed Ray out but I can’t help but keep being suspicious of Top. Like what was his little glance and expression after handing over the bribe? Just him being all shady because he’s bribing a policeman, or some smug ‘you owe me’, or satisfied with himself because it was all part of a plan? I dunno. Top’s expressions are often hard for me to read to be honest, I want to start thinking well of him, but guess we’ll find out soon enough if there was anything more to the situation with the cops than an unfortunate (and fortunate in the end for Ray) series of events.

The last scene between Top and Mew got me feeling two ways. One, I think it was incredibly sweet and responsible of him that he took care of Mew. But, two, as much as a hug can be great and comforting, I feel he crossed a boundary by snuggling up to a passed out Mew, considering they are currently not together. I don’t know if we’ll see Mew waking up trouserless and in Top’s arms and get a reaction, or if Top will have moved away from him/left, or skip past all that (seems Boston and Atom scene is a continuation of the same night in the preview). But yeah, I know he loves and misses him and is probably struggling with his insomnia/trauma now he’s alone - maybe that’s why he seems a bit more subdued because of lack of sleep - I hope he hasn’t returned to drugs or even abusing the (what I assume were) prescription ones. I just think in that moment he should have kept to doing only what was necessary in caring for Mew - stick him in the recovery position in case he pukes again and watch over him from afar or at least the other side of the bed.

And continuing the whole crossing boundaries, let’s hop back to the start again and Ray and Sand. That first scene between them outside the bar got me in the feels. I felt so bad for Ray as the hope fell from his face about them remaining friends. He was losing what had become his happiness and relief from the shitty on repeat cycle that had been his life. I get why Sand is doing it and certainly feel bad for him here too. Like I said, I don’t feel like Mew and Ray are anywhere close to claiming to be together, more testing the waters and as Ray said, Mew had let him step out of the friend zone. It really felt like he was saying ‘unlike you and me’ to Sand. I’m not ignoring Sand’s feelings, I’m all for him cutting ties with people or things that cause him pain. He’s doing it for his own benefit, and because of his ex he does his best to guard his heart, it just sucks that in doing so and keeping (or more like struggling to keep) Ray at a distance at every chance meant Ray’s feelings never got a chance to move on properly from Mew. I believe he was trying to until things got shook up by Boston and then Sand’s own desire for revenge on Top. Ray, even up to this point, is the one to ask of Sand is okay, if he’s okay with their ‘friendship’ and Sand always claimed to be, shutting down the chance of any kind of conversation about the possibility of anything beyond ‘friends’ - emergency staff, friend, fellow human being, nothing to do with me, I care about you and so does your dad. I feel bad that they never got a chance to explore things properly and god the ‘Let me go already’ line cut deep. (The preview gives me hope that Sand might use all his words this next episode - but shall wait for all the context as wouldn’t mind a proper clarification on where Ray and Mew stand with each other if things were to happen between Ray and Sand).

The Plug and Yo situation go me all, nooooo. I would say it was nice to get a scene from them but why’d it have to be this one? Well, I know why in terms of mirroring feelings and stuff with our main couples. It did hurt though, and apparently, made Ray forget that Sand was trying to step away as he turns up at the music room. Sand is the one Ray wants to tell about his day in court. Honestly, it’s kind of like a little kid excited to tell their parents what they got up to at school that day. Ray upped his ‘na na na’ game with cute little knee pokes. I’m a weak woman, he had me at the first poke. I saw Sand smile though lol. I know there was some behind the scenes stuff posted by staff that had kids, so wonder if we’ll see them carrying out the community service together. We ended on Sand’s little dunno/whatever shrug lol.

And so, we’re back at the party. I started off feeling bad for Ray over all the Mew stuff. He’d gone along with the cigarette early, the party and what I can only assume is Mew wanting to try drugs. In a way it’s probably better Mew do it with Ray and in a reasonably safe place if he’s insisting on trying all these new things. Ray, I assume, knows to a degree what he’s doing with the drugs and was there to check Mew was okay, at least at the start of the party. It was clear by Mew’s face he didn’t feel enough for Ray to want to kiss him. Ray’s hope though was reignited slightly when Mew took hold of his hand and led him down to the party. Drink and drugs kicking in and the appearance of Top and well… once more feeling bad for Ray. Mew stating he only cares about himself now then kissing Ray in front of Top… ugh. Everybody is hurting and then going on to hurt other people. I’m kind of hoping this’ll be Mew’s lowest point and he can start building himself back up next episode, but I don’t know considering the preview. He doesn’t seem to be out with Ray and being hit on by someone and then seems Top took a page from Ray’s book this episode in regards to cockblocking Mew lol. It’s all good fun.

And then yeah, Sand and Freddie. The guy seemed really sweet actually. Also, being bi, it was nice to hear Sand say he was too. But then in barrels coked up, drink in hand Ray. Wasn’t feeling bad for him at this point as he had no right to do what he did to Sand. I get he’s high, confused as hell about his feelings for Mew and Sand, not at all satisfied with his situation with Mew who seemingly kissed him and vanished as Ray is all alone and Mew is later. Once again, but not to the same erratic degree as the birthday party, fuelled by drugs and drink, Ray got mean and was lashing out. That’s a reason, but not a justification. He did wrong and I’m glad Sand told him so. Sand is capable of saying no. Up to now, I believe he’s given in because he wanted to and Mew hadn’t been in the picture beyond Ray’s lingering feelings. The current situation with everybody though, no, I agree with Sand wanting to put his foot down, no matter how much I want them to find a way to be together happy.

What happens between them is up to them. Some people are not built to deal with people with mental health issues or addiction. Sand can’t stop caring, and when the police arrive his first thought is to find Ray despite what went down. I can understand that. Having woken to a tirade of abusive messages from someone I knew who was an alcoholic, past my initial surprise and trying to work out what I’d done to deserve such messages, I was very much concerned and wanted to make sure they were okay. Though I relate to Ray a lot, I also share some of Sand’s traits when wanting to take care of others, even above taking care of myself at times.

That scene with the cops though. I’ve seen enough news reports about what can happen and seeing a knee on Ray’s neck and Sand calling for him to stay still was pretty scary. Ray’s slow crumbling as Cheum spoke, to him crying out and breaking down was heartbreaking. I still don’t know if it’ll be enough for him to admit he has a problem though. I’m looking forward to seeing how we move on from the mess of this episode.

Okay, and now for a section on Cheum. If you’re a Cheum does no wrong and OMG she’s the bestest friend ever kind of person feel free to skip this last part, because though I don’t think she’s all bad, I was annoyed by some of the things she said this episode. This is just how I felt. I know others think she was right to say the stuff she did and, like I said, she’s not all bad and some of her points are valid, but this is me mostly getting off my chest what irked me.

The first scene of her watching Ray and Mew, all I got from this is that she was jealous that Mew was spending more time with Ray than her - April even said, he’ll come back to you when he’s had enough. He. Just Mew. Because apparently fuck Ray. The way she said since being with Ray, Mew was skipping class and drinking all the time. Now, hold up, is Mew skipping because of Ray or is it because he’s not used to drinking and so feeling ill the next day. Is Ray skipping too with Mew? Did he used to skip? Does she even care? As far as we’ve seen, Ray drags his hungover ass into class, be him nearly falling asleep at the front of class, or face planted on his desk. Obviously, we don’t know if he always makes it in. They’ve been uni friends for 4 years (haven’t figured out if anyone was friends beforehand as it seems they all live reasonably close to the university - Mews parents owned the apartment he moved into, Ray and Boston seem to live in their family homes, and Cheum/Atom work at that café hangout place so might be family owned) so we’re jumping into this group of friends not aware of everything, so who knows how often Ray skipped, if at all. She also mentioned Mew wasn’t picking up her calls. Like, if you’re that worried go and see him. You were round his place post-birthday party chaos so not like you don’t know where he lives. Hell, if he won’t listen how about remembering Ray exists and cares about Mew and maybe try talking to him about how you’re worried. Ray had hints of being concerned over the cigarette and trying to reassure Mew at the bookstore that he was fine the way he used to be. Maybe together you could have tried supporting Mew instead of coming across as jealous.

And then her talk with Top. Again, some good points in there but also once more she sounded jealous about Mew hanging out with Ray too much, plus also - We used to stop him (Ray). You did? When? Look I get they’re at university and drinking and partying is part of that experience but saying you used to stop him means you know there’s a problem, right? I know we can’t expect others to give things (alcohol) up because of someone else’s problem with it and they’re university students so still learning about life and can’t be expected to do everything right. I just feel like even two years in the past after Ray’s bath tub moment, they’re drinking and she’s shit-faced. As Ray is enabling Mew, they’ve enabled Ray by continuously surrounding him with alcohol. I don’t know. I’ll say it again, we’ve only seen a small part of their 4 year course and time together so… maybe I’m too harsh, but this is how I felt at the time about what she said.

And then, inviting Top to the party. What was the reason you said Mew was changing when you were talking to Top, Cheum? Oh yeah, Top. Yes, yay, thank goodness he was there to deal with Ray and Mew’s bad situations, but I doubt seeing Top made Mew drink any less, in fact, I’m pretty sure it only made him drink more.

I shall pop it in here that I agree with her calling out Ray for using drugs at the hostel. It’s a business and he needs to remember that.

And then the lecture when Ray is caught by the cops. I agree both he and Mew need to call it quits and address what they’re doing to themselves and others. But to lay all the blame on Ray yet again… Being friends (with Mew) was good enough, did she happen to give Mew the same criticism being as he opened up the opportunity of being more than friends to Ray? The hostel - he never wanted to run it with her just something to do with Mew. Mew was the one making plans for Ray’s future, because I doubt Ray thinks about life past the end of his next drink to be honest. Mew seemed to be the driving force behind it, Ray and the others pretty much just let themselves go along with it. Plus she was happy enough spending Ray’s dad’s money for the pool party she wanted to have.

Ugh. Maybe I’m too harsh. It’s probably my protective instincts over Ray heightening my annoyance with her. When Ray’s functioning day to day and has a semblance of control on his life, Ray is sweet but needy, especially around Sand, and clearly cares about the people around him. Drunk and high as a fucking kite, he’s either an ‘I love you guys’ idiot or can be cruel if his emotions have been put through the wringer and he’s lost and confused. He needs help and it’s hard to watch at times.

Anyway, a couple more hours and we’ll see what comes next. Please, a little less pain this week.

[hay1ock]

Only Friends Episode 7 😮😮😮😮😮

Kicking off the second half of the series with a bang. I loved how things got shaken up. I have no idea where we’re headed.

I’m writing this as if I haven’t seen the preview for Episode 8. So I won’t be judging Ray for something he hasn’t done yet, nor that I have full context for at this point in time. It doesn’t look good, but then other preview scenes in the past haven’t played out how they were presented. So as a heads up, in case this ramble isn’t for you, from an Episode 7 POV I don’t feel Ray’s done anything wrong (re. Sand). In a way Sand was the architect of his own hurt. Plus, not going to lie, seeing all the negative commentary specifically aimed at Ray (regardless of how people feel about the RayMew pairing) and how quickly some wanted to tear him down. It didn’t feel good or deserved.

So, with that said, this episode picked up where we left off with Sand in pursuit of Ray. I was scared that Sand chasing after him would be what would cause Ray (and maybe even Sand) to crash, but as it was he was a little way behind as he pulled up on the scene post-crash. I guess Ray swerved to avoid a vehicle based on the lights in his face that didn’t stop/see the accident happen, leaving Ray in his car after hitting the side of the tunnel? - so he wasn’t wrong, without Sand showing up, who knows how long he might have been there before anyone else passed by. I’m glad no one got seriously hurt (at least for now), be it Ray himself or an innocent bystander. If he hit someone I have no idea how he would handle it, and then of course anybody else who played even a tiny part in what went down that evening. Sadly, it wasn’t enough of a wake up call to see Ray reflect on his behaviour or his problems with alcohol as we see he was already reaching for a drink once back home.

The scene between Ray and Sand in the hospital was sweet, in a gentle scolding kind of way. Sand doesn’t overlook that what Ray did was wrong and dangerous, but I appreciated his firm but calm tone, particularly in light of how Ray’s dad barrelled in soon after.

Why did you do it? - I imagine that would be something hard for Ray to admit. He’d played the bad guy, blown apart all his friendships and when Sand wasn’t able to tell him they were anything but ‘fellow human beings’, I really think he didn’t care what happened to him, maybe even willing to seek out a way to put an end to himself if not for the accident stopping him right then. There are a lot of what-ifs, of conversations that could have changed how the evening played out (Looking at both Mew and Sand here).

Learn to love yourself - it can be hard to do, and even more so if there’s nobody in your life who loves you, to disprove you’re unloveable. I wish Sand could have dared to tell Ray how he feels about him. Would it have stopped him getting in the car? Would it have changed anything later in this episode?

Declaring himself Ray’s emergency staff, though it implies caring, I don’t feel like Ray is capable of making the leap to Sand having genuine feelings for him. After all, Mew was his emergency contract and up to this point had never gone beyond friends no matter what Ray had dared to hope for. Similarly, in the bathroom scene later on, Sand does say he cares about Ray, but continues, adding how his dad does too. If Sand is putting those two things forward as equal, then I can see why Ray, though clearly attracted to Sand, happy to flirt and tease, wouldn’t think there was more to it and Sand’s feelings were still firmly in the lust not love, nothing beyond friends bubble.

I have mixed feelings about Ray’s dad. I’d like to think he cares but sucks at showing it. Yes, Ray needs to be called out for his actions and drink driving, but the fact he didn’t once ask if he was okay, or something along the lines of yep, you screwed up but thank god you’re okay, was disappointing but expected considering the only involvement he seems to have in his son’s life involves his wallet. I do wonder what he has asked Sand to do. Was it something as simple and along the lines of keep an eye on Ray and something that encouraged Sand to go round with his juice and detox plan? Or is it something more serious and that will be seen as a betrayal once Ray finds out?

The scene between them at Ray’s home in the living room was cute. I do like that Ray gives in to Sand (as we saw in Episode 5 and here saying he’d drink the juice) just as much as he uses his ‘na’ to get his way with Sand. Sand is capable of putting his foot down if he didn’t want to help Ray, it just seems like he doesn’t want to quite so much these days, blurring even more his already blurry boundaries and feelings. The way he carefully undressed Ray, seeing the seatbelt mark of what Ray had ended up doing to himself, and the part he had played in the events of that night. I’m glad he apologised and would have liked to have seen on screen whether Ray apologised in return along with thanking him for saving him yet again (if only Ray’s dad hadn’t shown up while they were talking). I will say the shaving scene tickled me. I tried to focus on what they were saying and the moment rather than Sand moving shaving cream about. Also, sitting in the bath THEN running the water? Brrrr cold booty.

I liked the little talk about Sand’s situation regarding his father. I can’t decide if we’ll see him, and though it might be fun to have him related to someone (Boston’s dad inferred he too was a bit of a player) I think that would be one twist and connection too many among this group. So if he does show up I hope it’s someone very much away from the group, but also, I wouldn’t mind if nothing came of it. It might just be a narrative about how family can be anything - Mew with his two mums, Sand with his single parent family, Ray as good as choosing his family in Mew and friends.

Also from their conversation, I would probably consider Ray an alcoholic. We’ve seen him drinking in the day - at Yo’s, the flask he was carrying (again), even when Sand arrived this episode - it’s probably at a degree he can still function, then drinking in excess when out or under extra stress. I would agree he is in a way addicted to Sand - as a distraction, for comfort and support, in a way his own little safe space even more so than Mew who is very blunt, almost accusatory, assuming the worst - even this episode, even though he knew Ray went off in a state at the party and none of his calls were being picked up, he just figured he was drunk and asleep. I know shit went down but still… maybe check in on him?

I’m scared but excited to see where Ray and Sand go from here considering how the episode ends. And yes, I have a heart and it broke for Sand. I just can’t make Ray out to be the bad guy in this situation - that boy deserves a bit of happiness even though I know it will be fleeting. Sand likes Ray. He just has his own baggage that won’t allow him to put it out there in the world. Better to keep it to himself. The run in with Boston had already set them back a number of steps and I’ve mentioned how in the other episodes Sand continually draws the line between them, they’re friends, it’s lustful behaviour/moments between them not love. If he had confessed to Ray… I wonder how things would have gone regarding Mew? Would the conversation between Ray and Mew have steered in a slightly different direction?

And so Ray and Mew. I’m actually fascinated to see where these two go. I’m pretty sure it will be short-lived. Ray has put Mew on this pedestal, adores him. We know how much Mew means to him. I believe Ray loves him, but whether that is the same as being in love with him, there is only really one way to find out. So I support Ray and Mew testing the limits of what their relationship is or could be. Though gotta say, when Mew kind of led the conversation in that direction, I was surprised. I had felt Ray had kind of taken a couple of steps in making peace with his love of Mew. Granted his feelings can’t just be switched off but I had hoped maybe something more could evolve between him and Sand. But this moment with Mew brought those feelings straight back to the surface.

Now, before the series started, I had considered whether Mew would be the kind of person to use Ray in some sort of way against Top, and end up breaking his heart and discard him. Once I watched the first 2 episode, I kind of withdrew that thought. Mew genuinely seemed to love Ray as a friend and so I didn’t think he would hurt him in that way. I still don’t. Instead, he is using him to escape his pain, not for revenge. As he said, Ray is always there for him, has never hurt him. Sometimes, relationships don’t start out with fireworks and heart flutters. Friendship can also be a good basis. I just feel, the Mew that has suggested he could try to love Ray is not the same Mew who Ray fell in love with. For Ray, Mew was someone who could lift him up, saved him when he was at his lowest point. The Mew of now, won’t be lifting Ray up, he’s sinking down into Ray’s world. They’ll be a bad influence on each other.

I have to say, seeing them dancing together at the end of the episode, I fully support them trying. I can’t quite decide if it’s just drunk friends grinding up against each other and testing the waters or if they did decide to properly give it a try just yet. Obviously, before Mew had his lists and took time to get to know Top. He already knows Ray, and waiting didn’t lead to anything good in the end last time so maybe he’s all in already. I guess we’ll see next episode where they’re at. I guess one other possibility is them pretending and playing games with Top, but Ray was being very open and genuine so I hope that won’t be the case, especially as we know there is someone out there who is able to love him back. *Bangs Ray’s and Sand’s heads together* Stop being so stubborn and have a proper chat and maybe a kiss lol.

Mew and Top. Wow.

I do feel some sympathy for Top. He’s never going to be my favourite character, in fact, I don’t know if he’ll ever leave the bottom spot among the 6 main boys, but I did feel bad for him this episode - apart from his stupid remark about not caring if Mew and Ray had slept together or not 🤦‍♀️. You nearly had me Top lol. I don’t know what would have happened if he’d confessed sooner. He had genuinely caught feelings for Mew and was trying to change himself for the better (though I still think he was trying to also change Mew and being somewhat possessive). We see him in isolation, frustrated and upset. When Mew burned that page in front of him you could feel how much that hurt. The scribbling in the book. I wonder who he was considering calling. Maybe Mew but also maybe someone like Beam. I don’t think his guilt and being dumped will have helped his insomnia any.

I feel like he should give Mew some space, putting himself in Mew’s orbit while the wound is very much fresh is only going to make Mew defensive and angrier. The scene where the friends group had decided to put their personal issues aside for the sake of the hostel project and then in walks Top, the biggest personal issue of them all. My face was very much like Cheum’s 🙄.

How on Earth he’ll win Mew back round based on Mew’s shift in character, I have no idea. Will they get back together before the end of the series? BL couple logic would suggest yes, but I have no idea how many flaming hoops he’d need to jump through to convince Mew to give him a second chance. I’ve never been cheated on (at least not that I’m aware of lol) so I’m not really sure what I’d do in Mew’s position, what it would take for me to forgive a partner. The trust would be hard to get back. And if Boston still gravitates around them… hmmm. Again, I guess we’ll see if there is a way back for them.

Really enjoyed Mew this episode. Was nice to see things switched up, his manipulation of Nick and Gap to get the recording of Boston. The way he was sat there just casually chatting to Boston’s dad about Boston’s short film. I am glad he didn’t drag Boston’s dad into things and release the video (though I’m guessing it’s still on his phone and looked like he only copied the file from Gap’s computer). It will be interesting to see where his character goes next. I feel he’s spiralling and I’m kind of scared who he’s going to drag down with him in the end.

Boston is a piece of work. I enjoy watching him give zero fucks about what he’s done. The scene by the pool, even then he’s still poking at Ray about Mew, showed no remorse for his actions and actually came off as an even bigger asshole. It was great to see him get kicked into the pool and Mew jump in after him. Legit felt as if Mew would have held him under given a chance. Obviously, wishing death on Boston isn’t exactly okay, but I can understand the sentiment in the heat of the moment. I don’t know if Boston has an apologetic bone in his body. Even when Mew came to his house with Gap’s recording, he begged but I still didn’t hear anything close to a sorry. I couldn’t decide if he was saying that his dad didn’t know he was sleeping around or sleeping with men. I mean his dad was definitely supporting his player ways when Nick was round there so…

Speaking of Nick. As soon as Top mentioned the recording in the car and Boston’s little cogs started whirring it was clear Nick wasn’t going to have a great day. He shouldn’t have bugged the car in the first place, and well, he was right, Boston shouldn’t have fucked his friend’s boyfriend either lol. Despite his declaration of him being as nasty as Boston, I’m still waiting to see that. They’d fallen into this strange holding pattern where Nick was getting the attention he desired, but as far as we know Boston was never looking to take it anywhere properly. He’d been scared into monogamy by Gap and was fond of Nick, but whether he was anywhere close to developing feelings… So yeah, Nick didn’t need to be nasty up to this point so maybe we’ll see him play dirty to get back with rather than at Boston. He told Mew about Gap, but I feel that he was a sad little puppy who was easily talked into it. Honestly, I feel bad for him. Nick knows what Boston is like but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and damn that boy is stupidly in love. My heart broke as Boston laid into him and told him he never loved him.

I like that he didn’t throw Sand under the bus concerning the recording and how Ray had gotten hold of it. Though if Boston thinks really hard about it, I’m sure he can make a logical guess. The scene between Nick and Sand back at the apartment was both heartbreaking and heartwarming as Sand hugged him, apologised for abusing his trust. His need for revenge on Top blinded him to everything else, including the fallout for others and himself.

Overall, I loved this episode and the preview has got me desperate to know the context and how we reach some of those situations and the dialogue.

It really has been an incredible show so far.

Previous ramblings.

Episode One | Episode Two | Episode Three | Episode Four | Episode Five | Episode Six

[hay1ock]

Happy fucking birthday, indeed. Only Friends Episode 6 was absolutely insane. And I loved it.

So, what did we learn from this episode? That’s right, don’t get LASIK.

Like, if Mew hadn’t agreed, Top wouldn’t have bumped into Sand, wouldn’t have pissed off Sand, who then wouldn’t have… etc etc.

But lucky for us they did, because this episode was hella entertaining.

What follows is nonsense, my descent into insanity as I ramble myself in circles, go off at many a tangent and fail to keep my thoughts in any sort of order 😵‍💫

So, Top and Mew. Just when I actually started to like them as a couple shit hits the fan. Them by the pool just hanging around discussing Mew’s mums was the first time I felt as if I could get on board their relationship. I mentioned before how their scenes always left me feeling anxious. There was always this push and pull, a sense of doom, and, I don’t know if sleazy is the right word, maybe, I don’t know, but they left me feeling a little bit icky - I think it was the giving up drugs for sexual favours scene that really got me.

The main problem with the relationship for me has always been Top, and to be honest, his interactions with others this episode still left me uneasy and ready to jump back off the TopMew ship. The way he acts makes me feel like he’s treating Mew like a possession, I talked about it in previous episodes but I felt it again here, both in his conversation with Sand and then during Ray’s confrontation and how he wrapped his arm around Mew as if in ownership, that he’d ‘won’ a prize. He certainly plays up to what you’d think a rich hotel owner’s asshole son should be at times.

Now I can’t decide if Mew is just as bad in terms of being control driven - he has his list, which I don’t think there’s anything wrong with. I mean a non-drug user would probably rank kinda high on my list too. Top is definitely changing himself but it feels like there’s always something Top gets out of it. Giving up drugs = sexual activity, No sleeping around = a relationship and eventually Mew’s virginity. I don’t know. I mean they’re not exactly big asks of anyone looking to be in a 2 person, exclusive relationship. Top is just overtly possessive, at least to me as the audience and I guess to Ray at times. BUT THEN, he can be incredibly sweet around Mew like the notebook of drawings was a really lovely and personal present, and the way he was looking after Mew after his LASIK… it’s just… there’s something about him that irks me, even trying to forget the additional stuff we know about him and Boston, he makes me uneasy.

And now that ending scene between these two we have THE reveal and the lead up to it. I thought it was absolutely brilliant the way Mew seduced Top and lulled him into this vulnerable state to then bring out the recording. Book was great as Mew here. You can feel his building frustration, at first to get Top to tell the truth, then how he started thinking it was a plan to make a fool of him, to him feeling he isn’t good enough for someone like Top - the supposed top-tier.

But, Top? I can not believe he was still trying to hide the truth about his recent encounter with Boston, at first only referring to the fact they had hooked up before ever knowing Mew. I genuinely believe he loves Mew, maybe he thought he could salvage things by not confessing. Despite my feelings about Top I do have some sympathy for him. He fucked up, he told Boston it had been a mistake. I do feel like he was trying to be a better person since then. I don’t know what would have happened if he’d confessed sooner. I’m still annoyed at him for wrongly getting on his high horse over Ray and Mew, and instead of talking to Mew somehow saw a kind of ‘revenge’ sex as the appropriate reaction, but yeah, I’m a little bit sympathetic. A little. I don’t know how things will go from here on. Can there be a future for them? And how will Top cope with his sleep issues if he’s back to being alone?

Next up Nick. Well he finally got himself a photo. Probably because it was from a day out not a post-sex selfie. There wasn’t much story-wise that was just about him, but he certainly had his moments with Boston. In isolation, not gonna lie, they’re kind of good together like the scene on the pier. That moment though with Gap showing up. The hypocrisy from Boston about videoing people without consent, literally moments after Nick had just called him out for recording Ray and Mew, and also outing Ray loving Mew…💀

Despite what Boston and his dad discussed in front of Nick, he seems to keep falling for Boston’s sweet words and intimate touches. Nick’s no angel, but I feel really bad for him. He just keeps getting pulled back in. I don’t know if he still had any intention to use the recording with Boston’s focus seeming to be solely on him at the moment. He had been getting Boston’s undivided attention, or at least Nick and we assume so. I don’t think it’ll take Boston too long to get to the bottom of things when Top tells him about Mew having the evidence, especially considering Top knows that Nick knows about him and Boston hooking up, and saw Nick and Sand together at the apartments, throw in Boston knowing about Ray and Sand, that Ray confronted him, and then his outburst alluding to it in the bar, and the chain is complete. It’s going to hurt.

And so onto Boston. Was nice to get to know a bit more about him and his dad, well I say nice, but Boston definitely had a ‘look’ on his face when his dad kind of brushed off his love of photography (almost made me feel for him lol - no but it must be hard to have something you love poo-pooed), and it did feel like he was trying to make his dad ‘proud’ of the fact he’s playing the field and not settling down. I guess I understand (Understand Boston? What am I saying lol) where he’s coming from in terms of not getting attached to anyone if his intentions are to go to New York, which I think for arty, photography stuff would probably be a good fit. But, the way his words work on Nick and some of the moments he shares with him, I do wonder if deep down he would like something more significant than a bunch of fwbs and fuck buddies. He’s jealous his friends are moving on. Maybe not Mew so much as he had his ‘innocent’ virgin status, but from Ray’s speech it sure sounded like Boston told him a lot about his conquests, whether that was to rub them in Ray’s face for some reason, or he thought he had himself a ‘slutty brother in arms’? Who knows.

When Ray came to confront Boston, Boston sure managed to turn that conversation around quickly. He’d been casting glances at Ray all day as Ray seemed continually over everything going on within the friends group. When they clashed again he was able to twist things and make Ray doubt himself. And while I’m sure deep down Ray would love to be Mew’s knight in shining armour and them ride off into the sunset in love, I’m pretty sure he knows that will never happen. But Boston poked at him, put that doubt in his mind at how his intentions would be viewed - that he would be accused of doing it to get Mew, that he would be as ‘evil’ and be the one destroying Mew’s happiness. Boston is definitely clever with words. I’m looking forward to seeing him kicked into the pool next episode.

And now for Sand and Ray. Sand really showed he has a greyer side to the straightforward, work hard for everything guy we’d gotten used to the last few episodes. Top really got to him, lauding over him that he’d ‘changed’ and got himself his new man, the fact he could get anyone he wanted, ie Sand’s ex. I can’t imagine a guy stealing your lover and in no more than 3 months (based on what we know of Top’s longest relationship) he’s already moved on from that person… I’d be furious and wondering what the hell was the point of all the heartbreak? Honestly, having seen the trailer, breaking his phone to get his hands on Boston and Top’s audio was no where on my list of reasons for Sand stamping on his phone lol. But that was a pretty smart idea. Not sure what Nick noticed on his phone afterwards, maybe the lack of a phone call, or something to do with the method Sand sent himself the audio file. But I don’t think it’ll take him too much to figure out what Sand did when he learns of what’s gone on beyond Ray’s outburst.

I’m sure Sand thought it was an amazing idea handing the file over to Ray. He certainly lit the fuse on the powder keg that is Ray. Him saying about how great it is Mew has Ray at his side? - manipulation skill unlocked lol. I don’t know what he thought would happen or if there was anything more to it than getting back at Top but I’d like to think he wasn’t trying to get back at Ray for liking Mew by making him the bad guy. At the very least, it seemed Ray getting on that mic and making a huge scene was not quite how he’d seen it going.

Going back to Sand meeting with Ray. I felt so bad for Ray. It really felt as if he’d turned up with hopes he and Sand could maybe have a conversation about Mew, maybe even about the two of them. Instead, he was shut down not once but twice more by Sand saying he was fine with Ray liking Mew, echoing the same sentiments Sand had shared on the night things kicked off with Boston that it’s ‘nothing to do with him’.

Was it just me who thought Ray wrapping his hand around the cue ball was damn hot? 🫠 Honestly, the choice of fingers he wears his rings on too, I just… ahem. Anyway, what was I saying? Yeah, him grabbing the ball and basically telling Sand to get to the point was seriously a moment. I’m not 100% sure how he felt about Sand’s words after that, whether he felt as manipulated as Sand’s little side-eye suggested he was being, but clearly at the end of the evening Ray was absolutely done with everybody at that party. And to be fair, I kind of agree. (Also, I’m going to assume Sand renamed the file to Top & Boston - as much as I’d like to assume he knows Boston’s moans cos I’m a NeoKhao getting out the friendzone even just once enthusiast. I’d give him assuming the other voice is Top as Sand said it concerns Mew lol)

And so, we reach the party. The awkward conversation at the table had me like 💀Cheum has always been vocal in her praise of Top - I think I said on episode one about how Top had probably been viewed as this top tier prize to win/be fucked by, and Mew had likely been a breath of fresh air - honestly, I felt a bit bad for April the way Cheum was so besotted with the awesomeness that is Top lol, and then we shift to thanking God Boston, and then apparently forgetting Ray existed for a moment as she got excited everybody was paired off with someone. Even Boston. Also, this friends group need to have better nicknames for each other, what with Ray the Burden and now Boston the Heartless Slut. I know people call each other all sorts when they’re friends, even seemingly offensive names, but sometimes people need to read the room lol. It seems anything but playful banter at times. Following being forgotten, we then have April pointing out Ray is in fact single. I was sat here thinking, please stop poking at him. It was only adding to the tension and left me wondering at what point Ray would actually snap. Even without the added knowledge of Boston and Top, if I was Ray I’d have been seriously considering if it was time to find some new friends, preferable ones that enjoyed activities away from places that serve alcohol. Because no sooner has Ray been pointed out to be a loveless loser, we have Mew opening their conversation in the bathroom by asking if he’s drunk already.

I know Mew cares about Ray, asks him to stop drinking and doing drugs, and there’s only so much Mew or anyone else can do if Ray isn’t ready to help himself or accept help from others, but I don’t know, people expect him to be drunk, to be a burden, and I just feel like there comes a point where Ray, or anybody else, would just give up and act as expected.

(Possibly triggering stuff ahead as I refer back to episode 4)

Focusing on the conversation between them. It felt very ‘final’ and echoed a similar weight to it as the scene of Ray in the bathtub. The thanking him for being his friend, the hug. It might not have been so much the same thoughts right then as we’d had at the start of episode 4, but I think he probably believed somewhat in what Boston had said, he would be the bad guy, people would only view his intentions through the lens of him loving Mew and trying to split up Top and Mew, and in turn Ray loses Mew completely. So it really did feel like a goodbye. I don’t know if Mew got those vibes too, like he felt uneasy and that’s why he insisted Ray shouldn’t drive home, that he was worried about him, but for me there was this heaviness surrounding Ray.

We now know that Ray changed his mind and told Mew the truth about Top and Boston. He knew Mew might not like it and see his intentions in a bad light, but I’m glad he went through with it in the end. As he said later, no one else was saying a damn thing. I see people hung up on Ray being jealous, but I feel above everything else it is about Mew’s, and only Mew’s, happiness. When it comes down to it he’d rather tell him and risk being the villain, so long as Mew is okay. And so we shift to Ray taking the mic. I interpret him doing this out of a mix of things - frustration that even well into the night (despite Mew’s noticeable shift in mood when we catch sight of him again) everybody was singing and dancing as if everything was perfect, and to me, I feel like he was mad Mew hadn’t acted, not mad at Mew though, mad for Mew. That the person he cherishes the most seemed to have let Top and Boston’s behaviour slide, seemed to be accepting it when in Ray’s eyes he deserves so much more. And so fueled with alcohol, disappointed in almost everyone, he hit self destruct on each and every one of his relationships.

I enjoyed Khaotung’s performance and delivery. It hurt to see Ray that way, that look after being hit by the only person he considered to have shown him any care, and as he scanned the crowd, saw how everyone was looking at him. I feel like Mew punched him for a few reasons. Sure he might have had a plan for Top, he also seems someone to like order, have control and Ray was taking that from him, but I also like to think he was trying to stop Ray from going too far, snap him out of his tirade. If he got into an actual fight with someone like Top whose family are rich and the fact Top hates Ray, I could see Top pressing charges. I feel like Mew was in part saving Ray from himself and from saying or doing anything that he couldn’t take back, or might reap serious consequences.

I do, however, support Ray calling out everyone’s bullshit (plus it’s a tv show so it’s damn entertaining lol), even Sand. Their relationship started as a transaction and all he’s heard from Sand recently is they are nothing to each other. The moment outside by the car, I feel that if Sand hadn’t yet again denied they were anything to each other, Ray may well have stayed. Instead, his expression drops and he pushes him away, calls him a whore. Sand had ‘whored’ out his time, that’s how they had started, and Ray maybe assumes that’s all they had ever been. So, having burdened his friends once more, severed his connections to them, I don’t think Ray cared what happened to him after getting in that car and driving away. Luckily Sand did, motivated by caring for Ray, for anyone that could be caught in the fallout, and of course by his own guilt for putting Ray on this path in the first place.

I can’t wait for the next episode.

Oh my goodness. If you read all of that you’re a real trooper lol. I swear I start these the night of the episode and yet I’m still adding extra ramblings all through the week lol. I do enjoy it though. It’s kind of therapeutic to just get it all out. Stress relief 😆

Previous ramblings.

Episode 5 | Episode 4 | Episode 3 | Episode 2 | Episode 1

[hay1ock]

FFS, Boston. And there you have my review of Only Friends Episode 5. See you next time.

No but seriously, what the heck? There was nothing subtle or sly this time round, Boston went straight for the jugular with Ray this episode *takes a breath* My poor baby just wanted to drink, get high and avoid his problems. Give my puppy-eyed, depressed, alcoholic cutie pie a break would ya?

Ramble mode activated. I start these with good intentions of having some sort of order to my thoughts but think with every episode I get even more random and all over the place lol. So I shall apologise to anybody reading this in advance.

Where to (try to) focus first? I guess Sand (and Ray) as he opened the episode for us. I like the idea of us and our heroes sharing the same 24 hours. We might not fill them the same way but the fact it’s the same for everyone, not an hour less or an hour more, everybody gets 24, I never thought about it that way. I kind of like it. I don’t really have a ranking for the characters other than Ray, who is currently sitting very pretty at the top. And I think… probably… Top earned himself his position down at the bottom (yes even Boston’s outburst this episode didn’t have me yeeting him into the deepest darkest pit - I hate his actions, but also kind of love it all going to shit - however, this is under the assumption that everything, somehow, will work out for Ray and Sand in the end. If not, then Boston, sorry, I’ll be going ‘This is Sparta’ on your ass and you’re plummeting to the darkest depths of the rankings). The other 4 main boys currently all sit in between Ray and Top, shuffling around depending on the day lol. But I digress, what I meant to say was OMG I love Sand. He earned himself a little best boy badge this episode. For the time being at least, he seems the most grounded and stable.

It was great to get to see into his life and his routines. I love that he allowed Ray to experience his world. And I think that it’s the sweetest thing ever that despite all his whining, Ray went along with everything Sand said so he could spend the day with him - ate his breakfast, got on the bike, played dress up, waited in the crowd to save their spot, let Sand treat him to a beer, sang karaoke. He took an interest. He didn’t poo-poo the secondhand clothes simply said they weren’t his thing. He asked about Sand’s dreams (Like does Ray actually have dreams of his own? The hostel was a dream Mew had FOR him and his future. Does a guy slowly killing himself with alcohol think to dream, hope, plan for a future?). He wanted to help with the ‘debt collectors’ (I think even Sand would be willing to accept Ray bailing him out if for the sake of his mum), asked about Sand’s mum, answered Sand’s question about his own mum (god the way Sand faltered pouring that drink as soon as Ray said how his mum died), and even right at the end offered to answer any questions Sand had about what Boston had said about Mew (The way Ray said ‘okay?’ and ‘Sand’🥺). The little steps Ray, actually both of them had taken were made meaningless when Boston revealed what he did. I hated seeing Ray go straight for the alcohol in order to cope with what had gone down. I just hope they weren’t pushed too many steps back.

That last scene in bed was heartbreaking. They had shared so many intimate moments across the day, and not just the tension between them at breakfast and in the changing room. Ray had gotten to meet Sand’s mom - I couldn’t with his little face when he mouthed ‘Happy birthday’ when they sang the second time, as if it was a whole new world. I would assume his birthdays when his mum was alive were vastly different considering her depression and drinking. The girl at the concert, the way she was introduced to show that Ray’s attention was truly on Sand. And the way Ray was hanging off Sand and leaning against him so easily at the party and… Sighs. The bubble bursts and we’re in bed and Sand is turning away from him, thinking there’s no way he can fit into Ray’s 24 hours, that he isn’t special enough to get his own ‘extra hour’, gah I wanted to cry. I mean Ray had made time for you that very day, Sand! Noooo. It doesn’t help First plays the sad and hurt puppy face so well. There was a lot going on, they’d been drinking so don’t blame Sand for being overwhelmed and thinking it easier to back off, just shut the conversation down, at least right then. Hearing about Top again, the fact Top’s with someone Ray loves probably brought up some unwanted memories of his ex, along with finding out Ray had been in love with Mew for years and he probably couldn’t see how he could possibly compete with that. And then we have Ray, who I don’t know if he’s in any way equipped or sober enough to be able to comfort Sand or express himself in that moment, so just says ‘Happy Birthday’ as it’s now after 1 am. What a way to start the day 😭

Speaking of Ray. He was never going to win to be honest when he said he and Sand were just friends. Granted they’ve been all touchy-feely, and flirty (Ray has been that way from the start - ‘light it for me’) but we’re not aware of them discussing anything beyond the initial ‘friends’ agreement. We don’t know if they’ve had sex again, if Sand had kept to his one time rule. I would assume so. Is it just kissing and making each other feel good? Or has it mostly been Ray going round, drinking, and passing out? At first, when Sand said about Ray wanting to hang with him again I thought he was referencing the music store date and Ray driving him about that day. But when they were getting wasted, he did say any more than this and he would have to start charging rent, which implies Ray’s been hanging out and staying over a few times, probably not wanting to be at home, alone, drowning his sorrows in the bathtub every night. If they’ve been in each other’s company that much, I can understand Sand getting ideas in his head.

But what was Ray supposed to do? Go against what he still considered Sand’s wishes? Friends was what was agreed. Even this episode, regarding his birthday Sand said, “Who are you to think you need to know.” Granted, he’s expressed stuff to his mum and it’s written on his face (especially for the audience) that he does think more about Ray. But as far as Ray’s concerned Sand’s drawn, and keeps redrawing, the line at friends, very flirty friends, but friends nonetheless, and are far from declaring themselves boyfriends (I suppose he could have added they were friends who’d had sex and hang out and Sand likes sticking his hand in his pants… yeah maybe not). It hurts that Sand was hurt by what Ray said, but I can’t really blame Ray for choosing to say they’re friends. If one or both are feeling a way about their ‘friends’ label, they really need to have a proper talk. And soon. Sand saying, ‘It’s nothing to do with him’ and that he’s not special hurt him, Ray and ME!! And next ep we probably get the “What are we to each other?” argument. *Takes a breath* If Boston hadn’t interfered maybe they could have started to figure something out. But nope, he stole away any progress they’d been making, at least for now.

Extra random Ray and Sand things.

1. Sand has some interesting t-shirts. I liked the Home Alone one he had on when cooking breakfast.

2. Ray saying he’s no Bruce Wayne *eyes dead parents* I mean, Ray’s halfway there. Oops 🫢

3. I actually think Ray (Khaotung) suited the tighter fitting t-shirts. The yellow actually looked good, but gotta say that bold pink one… nice.

4. Sand’s mum is an angel (a loud, crazy, pretending to be in trouble to surprise her baby boy for his birthday angel) She’s so friendly and would love for her to dote on Ray a little. BL gods please protect her.

5. That cookie eating scene in the party montage 🫠

6. Yo is a queen and deserves to be treated as such.

Okay. It was quite a Ray and Sand heavy episode so not sure I have as much to waffle on about for the others but here we go. Top and Mew next. I just… why does their relationship fill me with so much anxiety? Taken as stand alone encounters, they’re actually super cute. The little dates this episode were really nice. A cute little bike ride and Mew snuggling up to Top’s arm. Like, they have some really sweet moments… BUT… I just can’t get over the small controlling aspects within it. Like this episode Top continues to trouble me with first saying about swapping the project to his hotel, the small dig at Ray and Boston over their parts in the project, then the LASIK thing (and the fact Mew appears to have gone through with it based on the preview.) The blind dating restaurant, I mean it sounds a really cool idea, but again it put Mew in a vulnerable place. I mean Mew was literally in the dark this time rather than figuratively over the fact Top slept with Boston. Ponders. Am I supposed to feel this way? Is it just because I know more than Mew does? They just leave me uneasy.

So, Mew decided to sleep with Top. I’m a bit sad he had feelings that he had to, though I do think he’d maybe reached a point regardless where he had fallen for Top enough and built enough trust to want to do it. I had wondered if the attention Top was getting from other men was in part Mew’s paranoia, though it might have been happening, whether his imagination was heightened by that fear Top might get bored. Despite the uneasiness I get from them, I do believe there are genuine feelings between the two of them. Mew was looking so enamoured in the end section of the date, but again, was the way that Top was behaving just part of Mew’s imagination. From paranoia to embellishing the romance of the moment?

The fact Mew phoned Boston though? 💀If not for last episode he probably would have called Ray, but as it was Boston was the next bestie in line. I can’t blame him for calling, there’s no reason for him to think Boston is anything but a friend. We don’t know how long they’ve been friends. They’ve been together 4 yrs via the uni course, but did any of them know each other beforehand? Anything Boston has done that we know of against Mew has been behind the scenes. And him sleeping with multiple partners isn’t what makes him a bad person. Also he is the one who introduced Top into the group, the first to voice his ‘concern’ about Top’s track record, and he’d certainly be the one to encourage Mew, and support what Mew had pretty much already decided.

The build up was again a sweet moment, I liked the clumsy knocking of Mew’s legs on the couch *side eyes the fucking huge bed* and I’m glad Top went slow and treated Mew well. And they’ve exchanged ‘I love yous’ so everything will hurt that little bit more when shit hits the fan. I can’t wait lol.

And then we have Nick and Boston. I can’t decide if I should be sad for Nick or a little bit scared of him. I do feel for him thinking that if he changes himself into a Top clone, he’ll maybe get Boston to want him more. But also, like if this was a horror movie I feel like it’d be going the direction of Nick actually becoming Top and taking over his life lol. I did wonder if it was more for revenge purposes, make himself more appealing, lure Boston in and then get revenge, but it seems he’s still as infatuated as ever and I do feel bad for him. Despite his questionable actions, there is something sympathetic about Nick. Well, apart from the fact he keeps walking in and interrupting Ray and Sand’s quality time lol. God damn it, Nick.

The pool scene. I don’t know what Boston is playing at. Part of me is suspicious of whether he’s found the wiretap in his car already (I mean dropping that mention of someone with a video is a bit of a coincidence) so he’s doting on Nick a little more than usual, or is it a kind of rebound thing? So Top’s discarded him but at least Nick is sticking around. Or is he being genuine and he’s looking for a change? Boston, genuine? Hmmm. Seriously, this show gives me trust issues lol especially regarding Top, Nick and Boston’s characters. The other three, I feel they’re more straightforward and as of yet haven’t been shown to do anything with malicious intent. Ray fucks up but his intentions aren’t from a bad place. Everybody looking at each other at the pool though… Top having some weird look of disgust/unease while looking at Boston with Nick, Boston looking back at him, Nick watching Boston, and Mew in his own happy world where Nick is nice and cute and he and Boston should definitely date. What a mess.

As soon as Boston hung up the call from Mew we knew he was pissed. I’m proud of him being able to keep up his performance on the phone to Mew. Boston likes sex, has been advocating for Mew to lose his virginity, so there was no way Mew would expect him to say anything but go for it. Boston - Safe sex ambassador. There’s probably a part of him hoping Top does fuck Mew and dump him, but I believe what Top keeps telling Boston about being interested in Mew beyond that, and think Boston believes it too. From here it was a series of unfortunate events. Because of the call he sticks to Nick for longer and then bumps into Ray and then all hell breaks loose. The way Boston was watching Ray and Sand… I really want to know if there is a reason behind Boston seemingly not wanting to see either of his friends happy. Or is it really just the fact he’s an asshole? Not everybody has some deep meaningful backstory. Some people are just assholes. He was mad Top rejected him, mad Mew and Top were going to have sex and he took it out on Ray? Saw an easy target, maybe thought he could blame it all on alcohol and drugs in the morning? And Sand was collateral damage?

I kinda want there to be something more, like is it Mew or Ray or both he maybe has a problem with? When Top was complimenting Mew and calling him cute in glasses all the way back in episode 1, Boston’s eyes were on Ray and how he reacted. He poked at him by calling him a burden. Was he after fucking Top to mess with Mew in order to mess with Ray? It’s been 2 years since the kiss, no idea what’s been going on since then, but for Boston still to be in the friends group he couldn’t have done anything to the degree he did this episode, and certainly not this direct. Though I guess maybe he could have around Ray, as who’s to say Ray would even remember anything that went down if he got himself blackout drunk like he did in episode 1. Also some of what he said. Why is he so obsessed with the idea Mew and Ray slept together? He keeps saying it like it’s a fact. But I don’t see why Mew’s flashback would be a lie. So I can’t see anything having happened between them after Mew rejected Ray. And then Boston mentioning ‘two-timing’. Is that in reference to anything in particular, or just a way to say loving Mew but dating Sand would be equivalent to cheating/two-timing? And asking why Ray was getting angry??? Dude, you just ruined his night, brought up Mew, told him you took photos of a not traumatic, but a personal and vulnerable moment, and were ‘keeping track’ of him, said him and Mew slept together, and everybody’s emotions were heightened because of drink and drug cookies. Still in love or not, I’d be pissed off too. *Deep breath* It’s fine. Everything will be fine… totally fine… Right?

Random things.

1. Sand telling Boston (and Nick) to go to their room. I love Sand.

2. Nick, come on baby. Everybody be telling you Boston is trash. I know you think you love him but, you know, maybe it’s time to take a hint.

3. Boston, you little shit. It’s a good job you’re entertaining and the whole point of this show is about messy relationships lol.

4. Drake’s character is back?! Why do I get this weird feeling Nick’s gonna go along with something he doesn’t really want to… threesome??

5. Very 6 mains heavy this ep, so hoping to get a bit more of some of the side characters next week at uni and Mew’s party. Though if I’m honest, I was so engrossed in the main boys I didn’t miss them. I’m sorry okay lol.

6. Shit is going down next episode. Am I ready to see Ray getting punched by who up to now has been his one shining light in his shitty life? No 😭

Right, I need to stop lol. I was going off in all directions lol. It’s so hard to believe we’re coming up to the halfway point with next episode. So much has already happened.

Thank you if you read all that.

Can’t wait to see what’s next.

Previous rambles

Episode 4

Episode 3

Episode 2

Episode 1

[hay1ock]

Episode 4 of Only Friends

Well, that was quite the episode. I’m going to be discussing stuff that happened, so if you’re aware of anything in the episode that upsets you please bear that in mind. I don’t intend to be all in your face about it but people have different limits. I myself was fine with the episode on first watch, but the second time it really hit me how there are certain things about Ray I relate to and I had a bad time for a little while. But *deep breath* it’s all good now and I’m ready to ramble. Also, I feel like my thoughts are going to be bouncing all over the place with all the various moving parts and stuff that happened this episode.

So, might as well get straight to it, the big one, Ray (+ Mew + Sand). Ray, the human version of the Poor Boy t-shirt. His whole breakdown in the bathtub about being unloved, unwanted, how he ruined his mom’s life, man Khaotung delivered. I’m guessing it might be a case of his mom getting pregnant was unplanned/inconvenient - like his mom had to give up her career, or maybe having him trapped her with a man she didn’t love or in a bad relationship, which in turn led to her drinking and ignoring him, and ultimately to her death. Based on the younger version of Ray, he was what? Mid teens maybe. He said high school so maybe 14-16 range. Was his mom like that since his birth or did it start later, she slowly began resenting him?

I’m glad Mew had enough about him to go round and check on Ray. (I know his friends get some crap - Boston rightly so - about not caring about him, but there is only so much they can do if Ray isn’t ready, as he needs to be willing to help himself) Ray’s little face and his voice when he saw Mew had come though… “You’re here?” Surprise/relief that he’d put his faith in the right person. Mew really had answered his cry for help. Ray deserves a big hug. It’s not hard to see why he cares about Mew, why he answered his phone, why he would support Mew’s relationship with Top even though he dislikes Top, and yes, I’m sure jealousy is part of it, but there is genuine concern about the kind of person Top is, and if he’s good enough. But yeah, whether it’s romantic love or something else, I’m not sure. I imagine it’s a bit of a mix. He sees Mew as having saved him so there’s probably a bit of seeing him as his hero, the only person who, up to that point (or that we know of), had shown any affection or concern for him and it might be those feelings warped into a romantic love, or maybe it’s just the desperate need to keep Mew close, keep that one ‘good’ relationship and person at his side and he has mistaken his feelings for love beyond that of friendship. Ray is a whole bag of emotions and trauma, and untangling those for him to explore his feelings about both his past and what’s happening now will be hard and most likely hurt him and people around him (and me!).

I’m glad we got to see what happened regarding the video and the kiss and well, to say I’m disappointed in Boston and Top is an understatement - will talk more about them later. Also, I know Boston is a bad friend, but seriously, knowing everything about Ray and still messing with his head last episode and even calling Ray a burden back in episode 1, Boston you are the absolute worst lol.

But anyway, the kiss, the one in the past. I’m sad Mew couldn’t return Ray’s feelings and it must have been hard to hear that he was perhaps the only thing that was keeping Ray from hurting himself. 2 years ago, so he’s 19/20 yrs old, being told that must have been rough and a lot of responsibility, and then the fear of what Ray might do if Mew rejected him. That change in music seems like a reflection of Mew’s anxiety of the situation. I do like Mew and that from what we’ve seen he is pretty straightforward and honest. He kissed Ray back, but as he’s said, up until Top, no one had been able to make his heart tremble. I wonder how things might have changed if he had felt something. Would Ray have been able to get a handle on his drinking? Despite 2 years passing, he’s still in the same place, maybe worse where his drinking is concerned. Could he have changed? Or would he just have made them both miserable? Guess we might end up finding out as him and Sand get closer.

Skipping back to the present and ahhhh Ray nooooo. I don’t agree with him kissing Mew and am glad he was called out for his behaviour, but I do feel like I understand why he did it, or at least see why he might have. First, we had Boston messing with him, bringing his feelings of ‘love’ back to the surface and also adding fuel to his worries about Top - don’t be a side character, do something before it’s too late, ie save Mew from Top. We also have Mew, he’s told Ray he phoned Top for help first and he’s also trying to push Ray’s feelings towards Sand (I believe Mew was doing so with good intentions, wanting to see Ray happy and have someone now Top has taken a chunk of his time), but I feel like Ray pushed back against that. I believe he has been feeling something for Sand, even if just out of curiosity, but in a way that’s a betrayal to his feelings for Mew, the person he literally owes his life to. I imagine he’s confused and desperate to reaffirm that Mew is the one he loves. Mew is telling him to be with someone who loves and takes care of him and for Ray that person is Mew. So, I get it, but don’t agree with it. Glad he apologised again at the end and I’m glad Mew was able to accept the apology. I feel like he backed down from pressing Ray further about the ‘why’ behind the kiss, maybe not wanting to distress Ray who looked to struggle when Mew asked. I hope they can maintain their friendship. I know Ray can’t change how he feels about Mew overnight. Whether Mew fully knew about Ray still liking him, I’m not sure, but either way, it’s all out there now, so hopefully, Ray can move forward.

And talking of where he should be heading in his attempt to move on, him and Sand. I don’t know if it’s because it’s First and Khaotung, or just the way they are portraying the characters, but they have the most ‘romantic’ chemistry at the moment for me (Nick and Boston has so far been more primal, sexual, and then Mew and Top… I don’t even know what theirs is, it’s mostly anxiety inducing is what. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like my stomach drops and both characters give off vibes of wanting control).

I love seeing Ray and Sand together. I love Ray’s puppy eyes. I love that Sand can’t say no to Ray’s puppy eyes. Sand seems a pretty strong-willed guy so if he really didn’t want to do something I’m sure he would say so. He had no problems communicating to Ray about how he felt at the music store and I’m glad he didn’t actually scold Ray and call him any names. There was just this strange sadness when Ray said ‘Burden on Society’. I don’t know if Sand sensed anything, but I think him discussing his boundaries, like with Ray wanting to buy him things, and that he isn’t something Ray can pick up to play with when he’s lonely to then forget about until the next time, I think Ray needs that. Other than money, we still don’t don’t know what kind of relationship he has with his father, or if he had any positive role models/relationships growing up that would help him learn about things such as boundaries and making real connections with other people, not just by throwing money around. I do believe Ray cares about Sand’s feelings, not necessarily because he sees him as special or for romantic reasons, but Sand is a person in his life now and it feels like Ray doesn’t intend to upset people on purpose, he wants to be cared for but also wants to be able to care for others, even as far as to ‘save’ them. I like that Ray is able to realise when he’s in the wrong and apologise, he did it in episode 1, and a couple of times in this episode. People make mistakes, not everyone can admit to them and apologise.

The record store scenes were lovely. The conversation about music. The suggestion that Ray is stuck in the past with his mother’s music and his trauma, and with his feelings for Mew. That discovering new bands brings Sand happiness and the implication that Ray should do the same, step outside that damn room that he’s surrounded himself with his mom’s records and find something new to explore. To find himself a little bit of happiness. I loved the small smile from Ray as he seemed to be considering Sand’s words. Chronologically, we then have them listening to music and staring and hand touching. The way Sand looks at Ray *dreamy sigh*. It was nice to see Ray in a moment of peace, at least that’s what it felt like. A moment to just pause the world and as Sand said “let music do the work.” And so, after going to Mew’s to apologise, we’re then back in a bath tub, bookending the episode nicely. That flashback though, yet again, can not blame Ray for clinging onto Mew and what feelings he had for him. Ray of sunshine *cries* I interpret the end as him making peace with his feelings, or at the very least, realising that no matter what, nothing more can ever come from them and so it’s time to move on, even if he just takes a tiny step in the direction of the owner of the Poor Boy t-shirt. I really hope that no matter what heartbreak lies ahead, these two find a way to a happy ending together, even if it’s Ray goes to rehab, gets some therapy and we skip ahead however many months, and they meet up again afterwards. So a fresh start and we’re left hopeful they’ll work things out.

Okay, that first part might have been way too long, but I’m bias towards Ray and so… that’s how I roll lol. The next bits might be shorter, or they might not lol. Next the Boston and Nick and Top (+ Sand) mess.

Boston, you are the worst. I mean, I kind of get filming your friends in a ‘haha look at these idiots, I’m so teasing them tomorrow’ kind of way, but still, dick move. And you know what another dick move is? Screwing with your friend’s kinda boyfriend (still confused on how long it’s been - under 3 months based on what Boston said last ep - and what Top and Mew consider themselves to be, as Top kept referring to Mew as his boyfriend last ep and this one and Mew complained about Top not introducing him as his boyfriend to Beam at the silent disco), and then for his ultimate dick move, we have Boston forcing himself on Top. I’m glad Top actively pushed Boston off him this time and told him a few home truths. I said before it feels more about Boston’s pride and some weird one-sided rivalry/jealousy. Like even in the flashback, he seemed to be competing with Ray, but also dragging Mew into the conversation with Cheum. Like ‘I can’t beat Ray, but what about Mew? I’m sexier and a better option than him right?’. Honestly, I feel like, if gmmtv would let us have nice things and let Neo and Khao out of the friends zone for a minute, Boston would be that guy to comfort Ray and maybe makeout/sleep with him just to show he was that little bit better than Mew - ‘at least I fucked ya’. He seems to have no remorse over anything at the moment. Whether he grows as a person or is a dick until the end, I guess we’ll have to wait and see. We got a nice bit of info about his dad if anyone was looking to really mess things up for him. Not looking at anyone in particular… Nick.

So, Nick. Boston really should have changed his passcode after Nick fixed his phone lol. He is walking a dangerous line of obsession and I’m not sure exactly where he’ll fall by the end. He was like a smitten kitten in the first couple of episodes, and he looked at Boston with hope and adoration, but there was a significant difference in how Boston’s words worked (or rather didn’t seem to) this episode when they were together. It currently stands as him wanting to get Boston, for them to be in love, but, depending where both his and Boston’s games take them, I feel like it might just come down to him wanting to ruin Boston in the end. You don’t love me? Well sucks to be you. I am here for Nasty Nick and his obsessive listening to Top and Boston moaning (poor Sand though - he did not need to hear that lol) And then he brings Top into it, and in turn Sand (and we find out Top stole Sand’s ex - gonna assume that person will pop up at some point). Well, everybody will know about Top and Boston but Mew at this point. I have this horrible feeling when stuff comes out Ray will find out Sand already knew and that might be one of many reasons they have problems.

So Top and Mew. Their relationship is the strangest to me. It might be because as the audience we know more of what Top’s been doing behind Mew’s back, see more of his smug smirky face that I want to punch occasionally, whereas we don’t know that much about Mew as an individual, but I don’t know… *stares at them*. I know Top got Mew’s heart all a flutter but sometimes, I’m left questioning what Mew sees in Top and does he actually like him? They can have some ridiculously cute moments, the disco, the Photo Booth, in the shower. Then they have some really off feeling and tense, challenging each other moments, Top coming off as possessive and pulling him away from his friends, the reset scene at laser tag, the scenes at the end of this episode. I like that Mew isn’t a pushover but getting with Top seems exhausting to me.

Another thing I like is that Mew doesn’t judge Top based on his past or who he’s slept with. Like I said Mew seems to be honest and straightforward and he wants Top to be the same with him. And I’m very much a judge you by what you do now not your past kind of person myself (obviously there are some exceptions to that). The plane in Top’s room got me curious. Is there a Boeing? I assume so as even before he told Mew and the only B I could think of at the time was Boston, I was like, surely not. Boston doesn’t seem in the least bit sentimental and not sure what a plane has to do with anything, but I did have second thoughts as the camera lingered and shifted focus from the plane to the model car that looks very much like Boston’s behind it. It might mean nothing, or maybe ‘Boeing’ will show up, the shot is framing two issues that can come between Top and Mew in the future - Boston and this Boeing person.

Top keeps pulling me in and has me thinking, okay maybe he is trying to be a better person, he just keeps fucking up, you know, like people do, and then just as quickly, I’m screaming trash at him. Where as Boston falls on the love to hate him side of villainy, Top keeps sticking his head over the line into just hate him territory. We’ll have to see where things go. I did think he’d called Beam over for sex at first, but not seeing the scene play out I wondered if it was something else - like just hang out, drink and sleep, as Top was clearly feeling guilty thinking back to moments with Mew and Boston, so I thought he might have trouble sleeping. As it was it was drugs. One way to knock yourself out I guess… whether it’s always just been drugs with Beam, looking back at the conversation at the silent disco, who knows, and I would have given him the benefit of the doubt, as I do want to believe he wants to change, but he’d already got arsey over Ray, Mew’s friend, being there and apparently not happy that he got his knickers in a twist over a kiss from 2 years ago, so was doubting Mew when he said it stopped at the kiss, and THEN initiated some weird deal for him stopping drugs. Again, we know more stuff than Mew, but with that music choice too, it felt all kinds of sleazy to me. If I was Mew I would not have been in the mood for sexy shenanigans, but hey, you do you, and hand jobs don’t have to be that deep. Fucking loved it when Mew said no penetration, take it or leave it lol.

OKAY. I think I’m done. There were probably other things I wanted to comment on, but the rambling was strong with this one lol. Looking forward to Episode 5.

[hay1ock]

Okay. Wow. Episode 3 of Only Friends was just something else.

Yep. I’m late again, but honestly, I enjoy rewatching it a time (or two) for anything I might have missed or that might change my mind about certain scenes or characters.

This week we’ll start with the mess that is Nick and Boston. It was interesting watching their string of encounters. Is it just me that felt they got slower, kind of more romantic as they went on? Like the slow kisses. I like kissing, might have partaken in the odd snog in a club back in my prime lol. But to be doing it over and over, day after day, soft and slower, and more attentive. It just felt more intimate, easy to mistake the feelings behind it. I hate the way he manipulates Nick. Sees him questioning the relationship so gives him some crumbs to keep him happy, and give him hope when there really doesn’t seem to be any.

Yeah, Boston is the absolute worst. But can’t deny he’s entertaining. I love the messy web he’s weaving. Well, mostly. When he started poking at my baby Ray then there was some aggressive side-eyeing on my part lol. I really don’t know what else to say, other than to applaud the work he’s putting in for Top. I still can’t decide if he has real feelings for him as he hesitated when Nick asked, but it seems to do with his pride/rivalry at the fact Top is seemingly so desperately pursuing Mew when Boston is throwing himself at him and had been getting turned down. Will be interesting to see if Boston had any plan for what he was actually hoping to achieve beyond one more fuck. Has he won? Does he still want more? Also, bit cruel recording your friends…making out? Getting handsy? Until proven otherwise (unless it went so terribly that Mew wanted to delete it from his mind) I believe Mew is a virgin. And it makes me laugh that the one who was telling Top Mew was all sweet and innocent in the first place was Boston. Has anyone else ever said that? I mean Mew was happy to have Top in his room, kiss, get on the counter. It was just when the possibility of full sex got too real that he put a stop to things, and the fact he would prefer to get to know someone first before going all in.

But yeah. Boston you are a terrible friend. Recording it and then holding on to it. Though to be fair I have everything ever still on my phone what with the storage size these days, it’s just a dick move he recorded it in the first place.

Nick. Okay, so I was in the protect Nick from Boston and himself and his feelings frame of mind last week. I said he wasn’t gonna be getting employee of the month snooping in customer phones, but seems he took his snooping up a notch and I’m considering switching over to Team Protect Boston. I didn’t actually pay much attention to the Chekhov’s wiretap on my first watch, I thought about how there’d be cameras installed and figured something would get caught on there eventually, but hadn’t thought Nick would go so far as to directly bug Boston’s car. I did feel sorry for him at the end. I don’t know if this is his first ‘relationship’ or what but he’s certainly all in. I wonder how far he’ll go if he is planning revenge. Like are we talking Fatal Attraction lengths? Boston doesn’t have a rabbit right? Lol

So Ray and Sand. Feel for Sand as he’s clearly trying to keep boundaries in his relationship with Ray. But eyes don’t lie and, man, the way he looks at him. Though disappointed at the end of the episode, there was probably also some relief as he could step back from the line he’d been dangerously walking. I wonder how bad his money struggles are as is he getting to eat for free at YOLO? Anyway, I wish him luck in his efforts to separate love and sex.

And Ray. His little face and his dumb flirty ass. I don’t think he’s doing anything on purpose as such or playing with Sand’s heart or anything (not like a certain Boston we know) as just in general it seems like the kind of person he is. He did seem genuine when he checked Sand was okay with it all because he wants to keep hanging out and being friends. I do think he’s pursuing him in the sense of a distraction, especially right after Boston whispered in his ear and Top dragged away Mew. Talking of Top, honestly, I don’t know how much is jealousy, worry for Mew, and how much is just a case of him just disliking that man. You ever just had someone, and they might not have even done anything wrong, but their very existence just irks you for some reason? That’s the vibes I get from Ray toward Top. The way Ray changes and folds his arms when he popped up ruining his bright mood when hanging with Mew.

But back to him and Sand. The entangling in the car was definitely to distract himself from his shitty feelings from that night, managing to convince himself and Sand that they could keep the boundaries even if they slept together a second time. And then the call. The way he sat up and rearranged his clothes as if he didn’t want Mew seeing him like that. Like he was almost ashamed. Seen a few differing opinions on what happened, but, despite Sand’s fleeting disappointment (then probably relief at dodging a bullet to the heart for at least one more day), I am team bros before hos, sisters before misters etc. Mew was locked out, bit tipsy and personally, I appreciate Ray being a good friend. Whether he also enjoyed getting to play hero, who knows, but I viewed it as him answering the call of a friend who needed his help.

So Mew. Actually, enjoyed seeing him and Ray interact a bit more. I personally, again until proved otherwise, believe he cares for him. In episode 1 he said how the hostel could be something for Ray’s future, a business of his own, then the scene by the pool in episode 2, and here, it seems like he genuinely wants Ray to move on and be happy with someone who has the potential to love him back as something other than a friend. I’m interested to see what actually happened the night Boston filmed them and guessing we’ll see at least some of it based on the preview. Mew’s scenes with Top give me mixed feelings. They were very sweet at the silent disco, and then we were back to Top being all ownery over him (granted fuelled by Boston). Top had referred to him as boyfriend a couple of times this ep so I’m trying to figure if we’ve skipped to them being boyfriends now as think Boston said they’d been together less than 3 months, plus we figure time has passed from the multiple BostonNick scenes. Ponders.

And lastly Top. Well, he knows Sand and boy Sand doesn’t like him lol. Guess we’ll see why eventually. I’m still trying to figure Top out. I know we don’t have much on Mew but Top is just a bit contradictory to me I guess. Is he insecure? Is it because he’s only been seen as this top tier prize to get fucked by? And Mew seems to be the only one, or the only one in a long time to not care about that? His actions are… I mean Mew knows he’s slept with others so why not be honest about that Beam guy? I mean the dude pretty much spelled it all out and Mew was right there lol.

Also, I know Boston was manipulating him but to say I was disappointed in his lack of willpower is an understatement. I have no idea what’s on the video, Mew and his friends have mentioned him being a virgin when it was just them and for nobody else’s benefit, so I believe he is one. Boston was the one that added the sweet and innocent part. But still, if you want to get to the bottom of things, I feel confronting/talking to Mew would have been a slightly better option than banging Boston. I get Top actually looked upset and people do dumb stuff without thinking if through but… Top, why? Even if you aren’t officially boyfriends, YOU keep calling him your boyfriend. Sighs. Can’t wait to see how this all plays out now there’s a recording of them.

Anyway, not long before today’s episode, so will stop here. Really am loving this show.

[hay1ock]

Another week, another took-a-long-time-to-process-so-now-going-to-ramble Only Friends post. I have no idea where I want to start as there were so many entanglements, emotions, moments for the characters, both separately and together.

Firstly, once again, got to praise the show for looking good. Loved some of the shots, one particular one was the continuous shot of Sand following Ray into his den/music room, and also Nick and Boston beneath those antlers - was as if Nick was being consumed by a beast (how very Hannibal lol)

So, thoughts on the characters and relationships. I guess we’ll start with Top and Mew as they kicked the episode off.

Top - honestly, I’m so conflicted over him. One minute I’m like, okay I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and the next I’m all hell no, shoo *waves him away*. He certainly earned some ‘bodacious side-eyes’ this week.

1. His glance at Boston after asking Mew to be his boyfriend. He looked so smug.

2. The way he ‘claimed’ Mew in front of Ray saying they had a date and taking his hand. Does he already feel threatened by Ray?

3. The way he spoke to Ray when Cheum hurt her ankle. (I’m not a doctor but I didn’t see Ray’s idea to raise a swollen ankle as a bad thing. He clearly wasn’t looking to hurt his friend). It just felt like Top was exerting dominance again. BUT maybe with the backstory we saw he now needs to control situations and jumped in without watching his tone.

4. Him and Boston in the shower (obviously lol)👀. I couldn’t get a read what he was thinking. He said stop but then let Boston get right back to it. His expression bounced around from into it to annoyed to… I don’t know what. BUT that isn’t the way to get into Mew’s good books lol.

Then on the other hand we have the backstory and his fear of sleeping alone. He seemed genuine about his past and can certainly see his sleeping around rooted in that. In episode 1, he could have just left, maybe even still had time to find someone else if it was just sex he wanted, but he asked to stay over, even if just to cuddle and sleep beside Mew. So until I’m shown otherwise I believe him. Curious if he’s abusing the sleeping tablets though (based on bits they showed in both trailers).

Mew - just because he’s a glasses wearing virgin doesn’t mean he’s naive, I mean… have you seen his friends? Lol. I do think he’s ticking things off a little too easily, but Top does make his heart tremble so there are feelings there already and he’s maybe looking for reasons for Top to meet his list. It no way excuses the Top and Boston encounter, but I do wonder how far Mew will push his No Sex rule with Top and this whole reset and then his cookie kiss teasing and if that’ll blow up in his face? (I see you car in the preview). But like I get it. If Top cares for him he should be willing to wait until Mew is ready, build trust and get to know each other properly. Plus you know, Top has his hand and a healthy imagination, he’ll be fine lol.

Boston - or rather…BOSTON! I love him but hate him lol. Bold move with Top in the shower. I’m not really sure why he’s so bothered. Like seriously how good was the sex? Has he caught feelings? Or is it just about one-upping Mew, is there more to their ‘friendship’? Jealousy? A one-sided rivalry of some kind? The fact he’s looking to use Ray and Mew’s friendship to get Top is a scummy move. And then there’s his relationship with Nick.

After Ray, Nick is my second precious, please-protect-him-from-everything-as-well-as-himself baby. He looked so tiny with his knees up to his chest, and soft and vulnerable lying in bed for the photos. Boston has made it clear-ish what their status is so Nick should be aware falling for him is a fruitless endeavour. BUT. The ish is because like Nick I’m getting mixed signals when he’s calling him his favourite, calling him cute, giving him little kisses and confidence boosts. The first sex scene between them this episode is more how I view Boston, flipping Nick over, pushing him down, no need to see his face. He just wants sex, not a connection with Nick. Argh, Nick’s attached and it’s gonna hurt. God, everybody’s so messy lol.

And then we’re round to my best boy, Ray. God I love seeing Khaotung like this. Anyway, yes he’s a danger to himself and others when drunk, not saying he’s an angel, but as Mew said he can’t be stopped, not unless he’s ready to admit he has a problem and get help. Struggling characters speak to me lol.

I loved his scene with Mew near the start. Sure he’s jealous, probably more so when drunk, but this episode he came across as supportive. Worried but supportive nonetheless. He’s probably met some Top’s before so is rightly concerned about Mew jumping in when their might be someone nice down the line (and I’m convinced he wasn’t talking about himself here - there’s no way he sees himself as anywhere near good enough for Mew). I felt like his glances at Top both by the pool and then the outdoor activity were, yes there’s still some jealousy but also as if they were out of concern/viewing how Top is acting - to me, he seemed surprised/wary at Top coming over as controlling and jumping in about the date and taking hold of Mew, and then at the activities it felt like he was observing/considering the genuineness of Top’s calls of support (vs Boston’s done with them eye roll).

There was a lot of stuff brought up for Ray this episode. Him and Sand was just amazing. From following Sand as what probably started out as a nice distraction, to hiring him as a drinking buddy, to genuinely bonding and smiling, to, well, that last sequence - god dang he was oozing with charm and his lustful gaze and… Why does smoking always look so hot? It really isn’t but damn does it look all cinematic and sexy. But yeah, it was great not to have to listen to him throw up this week. The flashback to his mum though. It seemed she died with a drink in her hand. Whether it was straight up from the alcohol, or maybe it caused other health problems? Was it just alcohol or was she washing down pills or something? Did she drunkenly fall and hit her head? *squints at the blurry scene* It’s certainly a trauma that is part of why he drinks, exacerbated by his loneliness and now the fear of losing Mew and that friendship as him and Top get closer. I’m also scared Ray is drinking himself stupid as a way to follow her.

Sand. The goodest boy (shhh pretend he’s not selling moonshine). I loved him so much when he tried to cheer Ray up after asking questions about his mum’s death. It was clear Ray was upset and down and it was lovely seeing him make Ray smile. Also, the way he was staring at Ray in these scenes. Gah. He’s so interested in him. I found it funny him turning away the girl, when Ray had suggested the three of them hang out. At least he got Ray looking very pleased with himself when it was just the two of them. There’s not much else to dive into with him at the moment. That talk to the camera thing at the end. Boy already looks like he knows he fucked up. Playing with fire indeed. Nothing else to say right… okay maybe one thing. Tattoo *kicks feet*

Random things.

1. Cheum and April. Wasn’t much of them but they were cute.

2. Sorry Top but that dive into the water. I kind of like it in that it shows he isn’t perfect. And apparently this isn’t Baywatch lol.

3. Tattoo.

4. I wonder if there was more than that one shot of Nick that Boston took? Hoping there’s nothing that can be used against Nick in the future.

5. TaTtOo.

6. The way Sand broke the kiss by pulling Ray away *melts*

7. Sand and Nick becoming roomies. They can bitch about their emotionally unavailable men over some plum wine lol. Wonder if Boston and Ray will end up there at the same time?

8. Ray’s face when Mew said Top had ticked the get along with friends box on his list.

9. Fluffy haired Ray at the outdoor activities.

10. TATTOO.

11. I kinda wanna go to a laser quest again. Like, are they still a thing? Time to relive my youth lol.

12. Took me a minute but realised those ‘talk to the camera’ interviews reminded me of the first episode of Queer As Folk (at least the UK version) where they had a similar thing. Vince was my baby. What do you mean I have a thing for guys who have a crush on their best friend? Lol

13. I can’t help it. I’m sorry. BUT Ray in that black fluffy cardigan outfit. It was his episode, at least for me.

14. Ray’s little face when he put him mum’s record on. Everybody shush. I love him okay.

15. I know you probably didn’t want him in your bed again since the reset, but Mew, cuddling on the couch did not look comfy.

16. So, if Nick works at a family business I shall switch my guess at Papang being something to do with uni and his course.

17. Title, where you at.

18. Ohhhhh. Yo and unnamed dude (please be called Lo) are together.

And I’ll shut up now. We’re down to hours until the next episode. Exciting.

[hay1ock]

So it’s been pretty much a week now and having rewatched the first episode of Only Friends a couple of times, and before the next episode drops Saturday I wanted to ramble and put down some thoughts I can look back on about how much I love this show so far. (I know it’s only been 1 episode but fuck it.)

Firstly, I want to compliment the aesthetics of the show. The styling of sets and the characters are striking. Lighting, soundtrack, the colouring of the scenes. I’m no film student or anything, but for me it’s a good looking show. And I love the vibes. It has an edge beyond that of the BL tag in my mind. It’s got those QAF and Skins vibes as well as other shows about young adults we had here in the UK that I watched growing up, and I love it.

The sex stuff (+mature/toxic behaviour). I’m aware there are various opinions and comparisons. Too little, too much. This show vs that show/movie. There’s space for all kinds of shows/stories. You want fluffy sure, second turn on the right. Want trauma inducing and everybody dies, keep heading straight at the crossroads. You have the right to not watch and let others enjoy what they enjoy. Regardless of gender/sexuality humans are flawed. They screw up their own lives and other peoples, and they fuck (except those who don’t). Personally, I consume anything that’s entertaining and god damn Only Friends is entertaining.

Anyway, personally, I thought the sex fit in nicely to the story. And I say story because I’m not really one to just want to watch or read about people shagging for the sake of it. Actually, I once submitted a story to a publisher and (feeling like Up’s character in Lovely Writer here) they wanted me to up the heat and add more sex. For me, I need a purpose, even if the sex is the purpose. For example Boston in this episode. Fucking was the reason. It was part of his character. The scene was for his gratification not the viewers. I loved it being all rushed and frantic and there being only one goal - to come. And mixing it with Nick wanking and them climaxing at the same time. Genius scene to be honest. And to follow that up later with them actually getting together and the classic fade to black. We know what’s gonna go down - Nick’s hand down Boston’s pants that’s what 😃

Then we have Top and Mew, a very different scene - slower, more intimate. These characters have very different intentions. Top chasing the goal of Mew’s virginity. To succeed he needs to go steady, lull Mew in by making him feel good. And then Mew who’s maybe pushing his limits as to what he’s comfortable with. As a once virgin myself, I can’t argue with him wanting a little attention, some kisses, and some chest groping lol. But in the end, he cant go all the way, at least not with a one night stand, so the scene shifts. Top maybe pushes it, but I’m glad he ended up being a decent guy (at least in this moment) and accepted Mew wasn’t ready.

So characters.

No point in me hiding it but I’m here because of Khaotung, Neo and First. Khao has had my heart since 2gether. Neo got added to that list after TonhonChonlatee (sorry Tonhon but Na was where it was at lol) and then the trinity was completed with The Eclipse with First. So, high on my Eclipse feels I’m hit with the Only Friends trailer and it was an immediate ‘sign me up’. Since then, Mark did get my interest, loved him in MSP and MLC, and I’ve also got to know Book and Force more since A Boss and a Babe (sorry if any Enchante lovers see this - at the time I only watched ep 1 and it didn’t grab me so have yet to finish it - maybe one day lol).

The fact Khaotung is playing him is a big bonus but have to say RAY is currently my favourite character. I have a soft spot for the characters who seem to be dealing with baggage and I would assume binge drinking, and considering himself ‘unimportant’ are likely signs (along with other bits seen from the trailer). He seems like a dickhead but is actually a squishy baby who needs love and protection (mainly from himself). At least my take so far. I am worried about him and his lack of self preservation, he’s lucky Sand was a stand up guy because handing your phone, car and yourself over to a stranger is a terrible idea. He was passed out and defenceless and if Sand was looking to take advantage in some way, he could have been in real trouble. (Thinks about the sobbing scene in the trailer) I hope nothing bad has or will happen to him if he’s in such a drunken state again. It’s sad he would have just accepted Sand and him had had sex because Sand was hot.

Moving on to SAND. Though a bit aggressive in a ‘I’m so done with everybody’ kind of way, he seems to be a decent guy who just wanted to take a piss in peace lol. We didn’t get too much of him. He gave me mature and big bro vibes and was rubbing Ray’s back when he was retching over the loo - wonder if he’s done that for anyone else in his life? He was a bit standoffish to start (rightly so at some points) but seemed to soften up a bit when Ray was genuinely apologising and saying thanks to him. Also, the slight look/hesitation when Ray asked him if he knew him in the bathrooms. Does he? Even if from a distance? Can’t wait to see where these two go from here.

Next. BOSTON. Well, he certainly likes to get his end away. I don’t dislike him (yet). Screwing around doesn’t make you a bad person. Chasing after red wristbands might make you a little bit of a dick, but I’m generally less against the ‘third party’ and more judging the one who has a partner who is doing the cheating (though here it was more an open, we enjoy a threesome relationship he was getting entangled in). Anyway, I enjoyed Boston and his facial expressions, and his ‘hunting’. Will reevaluate when he starts breaking hearts.

And first in line to get his heart broken, NICK. Not sure our boy will be getting employee of the month snooping through customer phones and jerking off to their half naked selfies lol. He seems a nice enough guy, and as with all the characters it was a decent intro to him. I enjoyed the tension between him and Boston. He recognised him from uni it seems so maybe had his eye on him and finally got a chance to interact, which they certainly did. The preview already showed him getting attached so I’m ready for him to be heartbroken 💔

MEW. A seemingly precious baby who just wants to read his books and save his virginity for something more meaningful than a one night stand. Haven’t much to say about him at the moment as taking him at face value for now. But interested to see how he gets to the point of yeeting Boston into the pool in the trailer lol.

TOP. *narrows eyes* I have no idea if I trust him. He clearly had one mission at the start, but then based on his and Mew’s conversation over ice cream, and how it seems others only view him as the top of the top, a prize to hook up with, I did feel like he was genuinely surprised and intrigued by Mew stopping the hookup before sex. In his scene with Boston, he also said he wanted to date Mew, but because he found him interesting. I don’t know if it’s still a bit of a challenge to him to get Mew to date him because it’d be fun, so whether his goal is still to try and get laid and then he’d dump Mew and move on… We’ll see I guess *side eyes trailer*

(NAM?)CHEUM. Not too much of her but she fits in well as the fourth member on the main friend group. Would be interesting to see how they know each other and for how long. Guess we’ll have to wait and see if she gets a storyline of her own or if, as she had a red wristband on, it’ll be happy lesbian shenanigans now and again to contrast everyone else’s drama and her being there observing her friends self destruct.

Thinky thoughts going into the next episodes.

1. Please tell me the guy Yo is with in the intro is called Lo.

2. I’m wondering if Papang is playing Nick’s boss. Can’t remember the trailer scene setting well other than a laptop in front of them. Maybe he catches Nick and Boston on the cctv.

3. Top & Boston scene in the trailer. Could it be a flashback? Didn’t feel like a flashback but who knows. Assuming it’s not, I wonder what gets Top to a point where he can’t wait for Mew anymore and bangs Boston? Did they have a fight? Were they ‘on a break’? Did Mew pick Ray or something else over him? (I’ve seen the outfit analysing lol)

4. I’m gonna repeat here that I’m worried Ray will get himself in some real trouble getting blackout drunk. He has his arm in a sling in one scene in the trailer so there could be an accident or a fight. But he’s also a sobbing mess and Mew comforting him and well… I hope he stays safe.

5. Interested to see who and how Title’s character will tie into what’s going on. Pilot trailer implied he’s a friend/worked at the bar with Sand.

6. Nick already got them heart eyes. Poor boy’s gonna suffer. But props for the bold move of sending Boston that photo.

7. Oh yeah, Drake! I’d gone with it maybe being Papang out of the cast we knew about from the trailer. Well done to the people who were like ‘that’s Drake’ lol. I had joked about hoping they just brought in a whole bunch of the gmmtv boys to play one night stands or drunken kisses on the dance floor so I’m one for one for boys and episode so far lol.

8. Mew hiding behind and pushing Cheum towards a vomiting Ray in the first scenes was everything lol.

9. Ray’s outfits 😍

10. They did pretty well covering up The 1975’s poster in Sand’s apartment as had to go see when I saw someone point it out (I can’t imagine trying to edit around moving, talking characters)

11. I feel sad that Ray cared more about his belongings than himself.

12. Sand’s ‘I am so done’ face. Especially when Top ‘borrowed’ his mic.

13. And about that. Public propositions like that are a hell no from me. I’d hate to be cornered like that. I mean it’s okay if you’re going to say yes I suppose. But what if it’s not a yes? Like what do you do in front of everyone. Say no and look like the asshole?

14. Top washed his hands after going to the bathroom. Top tier indeed.

15. That intro sequence going from one character to the next - very cool. Also the days of the week montage.

16. Dear Ray, please don’t throw up again. *lowers volume a little bit* 🤢

17. Props to the friends wanting to turn the theory business plan of a hostel into the real thing. I think I’d be Boston in the group and just be dragged along and agree to whatever lol.

18. That intro is definitely a non-skip. Everybody be looking damn fine!

19. Watching everyone’s expression regarding Ray, Mew and Top. Boston knows Ray likes Mew and damn if he doesn’t seem to enjoy poking at him. Also at one point I started to wonder if there was anything else beyond jealousy between Ray and Top. Probably just Ray having had some drinks so reacting in no way subtly lol. And then Mew’s expressions when Ray leaves both times. Does he know? Is he just concerned his friend is storming off and drinking? Hmm.

20. Let Ray and Boston kiss you cowards lol

Bring on episode 2.

[hay1ock]

Moonlight Chicken - You Are Enough

I love this show and love this song. You are enough, something I felt each character could relate to in some way. About being enough for themselves and being able to move on/walk away. About being enough for someone, be it family, friends, a lover - they just had to realise/find those right people.

Made this a while ago but had been putting off uploading for some reason. It's simple but I had a lot of fun. It's been nice to get into vidding again.

[hay1ock]

Happy Birthday Ayan, the bestest boy in the whole wide (fictional) world.

[hay1ock]

I made a thing.

It’s been a long time since I last made a vid, but I’m currently in my FirstKhaotung/BL era and felt like having a play with something short 🧡❤️‍🔥