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Dying at how dean's staring daggers at sam eyes bloodshot and angry and looking up (ultimately vulnerable) and sam looks down at him yet his face is gentle, his eyes are soft he's trying to understand, to take dean's pain in, to sympathize or whatever gay people toxic households incestuous brothers do nowadays

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dean wants to die with sam so bad it makes him look stupid. dean is very "wouldn't it be crazy if I drove the car off this bridge and killed us both" as a joke but also definitely not as a joke

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men in supernatural go crazy for dean because he's a badass warrior gunslinger who's also loyal and nurturing and straight up maternal. they get a taste of that and they'll spend the rest of their lives chasing it. the narrative says to disappoint dean is to disappoint love itself and only through being loved by dean can you be redeemed. i'm honestly obsessed with that.

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Sam Winchester birthday project

part②

Full version of all paintings

Here is the link of the organizer's weibo account.https://weibo.com/u/5217076019

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unrequited wincest is just sooooooo good. it is so good because. okay. sam and dean can never be apart. full stop, they cannot be apart. they need each other in every way so badly that it’s humiliating for the both of them, but they’re resigned to it. they understand the delicate balance they live under. so they won’t ever fight it, they will just be together, always, no matter what. but then one of them falls in love, or maybe has always been in love. and what is the worst, most unhealthy and extraordinarily toxic scenario to be in? one in which you are in immediate and constant proximity with someone you have unrequited romantic feelings for. so they should separate, right? go their own ways for a while until feelings settle? but they can’t. because romantic feelings or not they CANNOT be apart. and it’s so selfish. self-serving. hideous. to say, i know it’s killing you to be in my presence when i can’t give you what you want, but i cannot be without you. so you will suffer, and i will suffer, and we will never talk about it. because being together, in pain but together, is the only thing we know how to be.

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very small detail in mystery spot… but the very first tuesday sam goes to brush his teeth and there’s toothpaste like all over the tube and it’s mostly empty. and he looks at dean like “seriously?” and dean shrugs. then after dean dies, during the montage of sam living alone on his revenge mission, there’s a shot of him brushing his teeth and the toothpaste tube is clean. the trunk is organized, the photos on the wall are lined up, the guns are spotless, the bed is made. the toothpaste tube is clean. dean was always the one who made the motel room a home, made it messy, made it lived in. there’s no mess. there’s no dean. sam doesn’t know how to do that. he’s never needed to. maybe never even noticed that’s what dean was doing; he was too busy complaining about his dirty clothes being everywhere.

it is so extremely codependent how sam’s ocd behaviours spike when dean is gone. like dean is his emotional support animal. “we keep each other human” in a very non-supernatural way. sam can only function on a normal level if he knows dean is ok. no one and nothing can drag sam out of that spiral other than dean, because there’s no reason to get out of the spiral if dean isn’t there. sam calls dean selfish for making the deal not because sam wouldn’t do the same thing, but because the prospect of living without dean is hell to him.

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this shot makes me batshit insane, the way in which none of them are looking at the person looking at them

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Dean Winchester in SUPERNATURAL

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the thing is dean owns sam but sam owns him in no way less. he was his daddy's tool and god knows how much he enjoys being sammy's tool too and sure, a huge part of it is so that little brother won't need anyone else anymore. he's on the worse type shit than the guy who wrote "i wanna be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust" was on . And yeah he wouldn't mind to be his brother's vacuum cleaner if you have to put it that way thank you very much

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i’m sorry i’ve been silent long enough and must finally speak my truth. there is no way. NO WAY. that dean is a top. because like??? think about it. dean is absolutely PETRIFIED that HE did this to sam. that somewhere along the way he implied something or unwittingly manipulated sam during his most impressionable years. he thinks sam wants this because sam thinks it’s what DEAN wants and is just giving it to him to appease him. dean never ever EVER would’ve acted on any of his feelings for those very reasons, and the only reason anything ever ended up happening between them was because sam initiated it. and sam insists over and over and over that HE wants it, that it was nothing dean did, it would’ve always happened, couldn’t be helped. but dean never quite believes him and so while he gives in (because of course he does, he was never going to be able to resist, he’s pathetic and sick and so full of longing it makes him crazy) he always has to be the one taking it. the idea of doing anything to sam is too much for him to bear. like there’s literally no way a scared little man with THAT much guilt could ever be dominant over sam. just no way. take me TO COURT over it. i will win

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campbells, winchesters, and the subtext of incestuous trauma

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actually the pre-series Winchester family dynamics need more tangles of covert vertical incest. yeah sure Sammy is all oedipal about his brothermom and Dean is all elektral about his dadhusband but John's no quitter and it's not like he's going to do a half-assed job parentifying his eldest. if Dean is a Mary stand-in then let's drag that out to its logical conclusion: John got married on the unspoken straight-dude assumption that his wife would mother him, and it never even occurs to Dean that when dad gets all petulant and needy at him it's because he's the last remaining outlet for John's mommy issues

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i think when dean's in control sam calls him mommy and when sam's in control dean calls him daddy in this essay i will-

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deanjohn with jealous, seething sam is so special to me. He absolutely HATES John bc of it. Writing in a little notebook about how he’s better to Dean than John, better for Dean, what does their dad have that sam doesn’t? Sam’s smart, he loves Dean, he’s nice to Dean, he’s closer to him in age, Dean should notice him! Not their crusty old dad who leaves him all the time. Nice guy sam oedipus complex Sam, Sam who dates guys and takes notes and thinks about them being Dean. Sam who starts fights with John thinking he’s fighting over who gets Dean. Soo important to society I think

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every day i have to think at least once about the nonsense (positive) that was going on in s8. i don't know how you could interpret it as anything other than two brotherlovers cheating on each other with a woman + dog and a vampire. like yes, they did snarl angrily at each other for being abandoned and left to pick up the pieces, where they also hooked up w someone else. yes, they (sam) did threaten to kill the other's partner or at the very least, used the affair partner's death as a threat.

what's the normal explanation for this? what are we supposed to get from that whole arc, other than an infidelity arc which presupposes a relationship!! between the brothers!!

i live for wincest fic + benny and amelia and the whole jealousy thing. like yes, they were at each other's throats the entire time for shit they both did. i miss benny every single day

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obsessed w interpretations of sam in a oedipal light bc yes, he is absolutely deans child but also,,, his lover and brother and he wants to surpass johns role in deans heart and hes jealous whenever anyone even remotely comes close to threatening that space in deans mind, the one that's john's but should be his, he should be the top priority, the one that dean listens to obediently, stares reverently at, fights for even if they're wrong, is a weapon soldier wife for... i love the idea of sam vying to supplant john 🫠

the angst and tension that can come from it. :come with me to stanford dean, choose me, stay with me over dad. and dean, torn between brotherchild and fatherhusband... :dad needs me, man, i can't. oh the resentment from sam, for dean choosing someone who has evidently destroyed their future and is continuing to destroy their present and the fury at losing the competition essentially, for losing in a contest he's never felt like he's won and this is just confirmation of it. fine! if dean and john are gonna be together, then sam will just go off and make his own life. he doesn’t need them. (hes delusional)

and then dean's back, and john's gone...