heartbeerry

[heartbeerry]

intro ༄˖°.🍓• ࿔*:･

bee. twenties. she/they. reader/writer.

• ࿔*:･

[heartbeerry]

i got a soft spot for you / r. c | masterlist

pairing: rafe cameron x female reader

cw: exes to lovers, angst, rafe redemption arc, brief mentions of alcohol/substances, some swearing, there’s sweet and fluffy reconciliation at the end.

summary: y/n breaks up with rafe due to his problem with alcohol/substances. summer passes by and they find themselves at the same place one night. rafe is determined to prove he’s changed for the better.

part one | part two | part three (end)

inspiration: soft spot by keshi

♫ you know i got a soft spot for you ♫

.•*. 💌

[heartbeerry]

i got a soft spot for you / r. c | part three

pairing: rafe cameron x female reader

part one / part two / part three (end)

cw: exes to lovers, angst, rafe redemption arc, brief mentions of alcohol/substances, some swearing, there's sweet and fluffy reconciliation at the end.

summary: y/n breaks up with rafe due to his problem with alcohol/substances. summer passes by and they find themselves at the same place one night. rafe is determined to prove he's changed for the better.

inspiration: soft spot by keshi

♫ don't like anybody, tell me why it's different with you

don't believe in love, but no one makes me feel like you do... ♫

. . .

the following morning

sunlight poured into rafe’s bedroom, stirring him from a restless sleep.

the remnants of his dream flittered behind his eyes, glimpses of you played on like his own personal film.

you teaching rafe how to bake your favourite cookies. staying up all night on your roof to stargaze. that road trip you took to the west coast.

your last kiss . . .

if rafe thought hard enough, he could still feel your lips on his. the scent of your perfume. the adoring look in your eyes.

he turned onto his side, shying away from the light of day.

his heart felt heavy, his mind weighed down by his encounter with you the night before. he lazily opened his eyes.

on impulse, he slid his hand underneath the adjacent pillow. the side where you always slept.

under it, stashed safely away, was a framed photo of the two of you from your first date. rafe had taken you sailing. he had been so excited that he woke up at sunrise to wax his boat.

the photo showed you tucked under his arm as you blew a kiss into the camera. rafe hadn't bothered to look into the lens, instead keeping his eyes trained on you.

he could recite everything that happened on that date, it was one of his favourite memories after all. that day had been the beginning of you.

rafe sat up and brought his body to the edge of the bed, frame still in hand. a ghost of a smile played on his lips as he willed time to reverse so that he could spend this day with you again.

a deafening knock at the door made rafe nearly jump out of his skin.

unfortunately, the shock was enough for his grip to falter, sending the frame tumbling to the hardwood floor.

“shit.”

he groaned at the sight of the fractured pieces laying at at his feet.

“rafe! are you up yet? it’s almost noon - ” sarah cameron’s voice chimed, the bedroom door swinging open. she stilled, her gaze surveying the scene in front of her.

rafe was on his knees, tenderly picking up the shards of glass.

realization dawned on sarah when she saw the photograph of you and rafe clasped between his fingers. her heart broke for him.

despite the troubled past between rafe and herself, sarah had always held a part of you close. you were like the big sister she never had.

“oh god. i’m sorry, did i startle you?” the worry in sarah’s voice was enough to bring rafe back to reality.

on the path to becoming a better person, he was also working towards repairing the relationships with his younger sisters.

become a better person for himself. for his family. for you.

“uhm, no it’s okay. i just…” rafe didn’t know how to finish the sentence. a hard lump was unexpectedly forming in his throat.

with light trepidation, sarah entered the bedroom, her eyes filled with empathy.

“do you,” she hesitated, leaning against rafe’s wardrobe. “wanna talk about it?” she could see the turmoil brewing in his eyes.

“i saw y/n last night,” rafe announced. “at the sandbar.”

sarah’s eyes widened in response.

“wait, you went out drinking?”

rafe carefully placed your photo on his nightstand before turning to sarah, the mess momentarily forgotten.

“no,” he pushed out an exasperated breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “the guys dragged me out. i didn’t drink, promise.”

relief flooded sarah as she motioned for him to continue.

“i saw y/n… dancing with this little jackass who ended up insulting her in front of me and — “

“woah! you got in a fight?” she interrupted once more.

rafe brought his palm to his forehead before running it down his face.

“no, sarah. i was just there… ya know, if she needed me. she told him off,” rafe finished, finally casting a sidelong glance at his sister.

“so, you basically just looked like a complete fool,” sarah hummed, holding up a finger to signal she’d be back in a second.

rafe groaned and plopped back onto his bed.

he was the absolute biggest fool.

seconds later, sarah returned with a broom and dust pan. she padded over to the broken glass and opted to sweep it up.

“god,” rafe let out a breath. “i wish i could just see her again. i couldn’t even get one coherent sentence out.”

sarah finished cleaning, tossing the contents of the dust pan into the waste basket found in the corner, before settling down next to rafe.

“look,” she mulled over the pep talk in her head.

“i get that. you regret squandering your one opportunity to speak with her. but who is to say you won’t get another?” she quirked an eyebrow.

rafe grunted, the notion feeling impossible.

“you have been doing so well these past few months, rafe,” sarah said earnestly.

the sincerity in her voice made rafe turn to her, slightly amazed at her honesty.

“i can see how hard you’re trying,” she continued. “when it comes to y/n, you need to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons — not just because you miss her. but because you want to improve and grow, for the both of you.”

“this is not about just missing her,” rafe’s voice wavered as he pieced together his words. it's as if he was finally gaining the clarity he needed.

“i want to be the one she can rely on, the one she feels safe with, the one she feels proud of. i don’t think there are enough lifetimes to right my wrongs but i’ll spend this one doing everything i can to show her how much i fucking love — ”

“i’ve never heard you say you love me.”

and when it finally dawned on rafe cameron, his world splintered.

because before you, rafe didn’t believe in love. until you, no one else could make him feel such a way.

how on earth could he expect you to know he loved you if he never found the courage to say it?

that he was irrevocably, unequivocally in love with you.

he was thrust back onto his porch, on that gloomy morning as you stood opposite to him with your whole life packed up. your life with him.

“. . . her,” rafe finished his sentence in the softest of whispers, sarah had to crane her neck to catch it. his eyes were brimming with a fresh swell of tears.

sarah's face softened, feeling an overwhelming sense to hug her brother. so, for the first time in a long time, she embraced him.

taken aback, rafe cleared his throat and lightly patted her on the shoulder. they stayed like that for just a few seconds before he pulled away, a plan forming in his mind.

“sarah… do you think you’d be able to help me — ” rafe didn’t finish, because sarah had already leapt from the bed in excitement.

“profess your love? oh most definitely.”

one week later

your latte had grown cold, left neglected on the corner table you occupied outside your favourite café.

the sun was setting and you had been perched on the patio for a few hours now, trying to read.

the words seemed to float off the page and you couldn’t process where you were in the plot, your mind preoccupied with a familiar pair of blue eyes.

seeing rafe for the first time since your breakup had left you dizzy with emotion. you had held your guard up for so long... afraid of facing your feelings.

with each passing day, the gnawing sensation in your stomach grew, a persistent reminder of how you had spoken to him. the words you'd tossed at him in frustration now felt harsher than you intended, leaving your wounds to split open.

he had told you he was getting better. it sounded so real, so true. maybe you should have at least given him an opportunity to prove it.

the way he had looked at you that night, it stirred something deep within you. he had regarded you with so much yearning and yet...

you groaned, circling your fingertips into your temples.

even after everything; the lies and broken trust, the way things ended so abruptly — you couldn’t deny the tether that tied you to him.

he had a certain knack for making you feel like the world weighed just a little lighter, as if he would hold up the sky just for you.

deep in thought, you hadn’t realized that your phone was ringing.

you hurried to pick up the call before your voicemail did, not bothering to look at the caller id.

“hello?”

you heard weeping on the other end.

“y/n? hey. i’m so sorry — i just didn’t know who else to call,” sarah cameron spoke in between sobs.

“sarah? are you okay — what’s wrong?” you clambered to your feet, shoving your belongings into your tote bag.

“i got into a fight with john b,” she choked out, the phone cracking with feedback. “can i see you, please?”

slapping a few bills on the table, you exited the café and stepped into the street.

“yes, of course. where are you? i’ll come to you.” you said soothingly.

“i’m just at the marina.” sarah replied.

“the marina? i’m actually pretty close. i’ll see you soon, okay? did you want me to stay on the line — ” your question was cut short by the dial tone.

worry rose within you, so you decided to pick up the pace and broke into a light jog.

-

the sun had dipped under the horizon by the time you reached the marina.

you meandered down the dock, eyes scanning the boats bobbing in the water.

you grabbed your phone from your back pocket, calling sarah again.

as the phone rang, you spotted a a source of light emulating from the end of the row. could that be her?

she picked up on the fourth ring as you decided to make your way towards the glow.

“hey, i’m here! where are you?”

“y/n, i’m sorry,” sarah replied, voice free of any trace of tears. “i’m okay. there was no fight, i just needed you to head down to the docks for something…” sarah paused. “important.”

the call ended before you could respond. bringing the phone down from your ear, a wave of relief rolled over you at the confirmation sarah was okay but...

you felt absolutely silly, barking out a disbelieving laugh.

"these camerons are going to send me to an early grave," you begin pacing, mumbling incoherently. "i swear to everything, the heart palpitations alone, i just - "

your baffled mirthlessness warped into puzzlement when, out of nowhere, you began to hear the notes of your favourite song play.

"okay, i was joking about the early grave, please tell me no one is going to jump out and pull a chainsaw on me," you laughed humourlessly, balling your hands into fists... just in case.

"i knew that texas chainsaw massacre marathon would haunt you for the rest of your days," a silhouette emerged a few feet in front of you, one you had grown to recognize instantly.

your shoulders shrank in relief, yet your face burned with abashment.

“rafe…” you exhaled, your heart thrumming in your chest. "what are you doing here?"

he was wearing a fitted blue long-sleeve tee and straight cut jeans. leave it to him to look effortlessly cool while you were being reduced to a puddle.

you held his intense gaze before his eyes raked over you, a glimmer of hope hidden there.

“y/n… i’m sorry,” he said, taking a step towards you. you were rooted in place, feeling the force drawing you into him.

“i wasn't sure how i could get you here. i asked for sarah's help but i didn’t think she was going to be so - ”

“dramatic?” you finished with a snort. rafe’s eyebrows rose in amusement at the ease of which you were conversing.

a beat passed. you cleared your throat.

noticing your hesitation, rafe extended his hand to you, his gaze pleading.

"i know i don't deserve it... but could you please follow me? i have a surprise for you."

his outstretched hand hovered between you. the pull in your chest willed you to take it.

you made the decision to hear him out, the look on his face reason enough.

rafe intertwined your fingers, relishing in the warmth of your touch, before leading you towards the light that had caught your eye when you first arrived.

by the time you reached the end of the dock, nothing could have prepared you for the scene that unfolded before you.

rafe's sailboat had been transformed.

a plethora of winding fairy lights crawled up the mast and rafe had even woven your favourite flowers into the strands.

a stereo sat on the deck playing the playlist you made for rafe when you first started dating. next to it, a plush blanket was rolled out, and covering it was an abundant spread of all your preferred foods, drinks and sweets.

to top it all off, as if this couldn't possibly get any more romantic, rafe had strung all of the film you had taken of yourselves during your time together along the boat's railing.

you hadn't realized you had dropped rafe's hand to cover your gaping mouth. he seized this moment to hop down onto the deck, guiding you to follow suit.

once you did, still speechless, he motioned for you to sit down on the blanket. he fell to his knees in front of you, taking a shaky breath.

tears prickled your eyes as he cleared his throat, a bid of determination shone in his features.

"y/n. you know i'm not one for words," he started, giving you a lopsided grin to ease the tension.

"but i'm going to try my best, for you. i think... i think i want to first tell you that i'm clean. i have been since we..." he stalled. "i meant what i said outside the bar. i am better."

"why did it take us breaking up to make you finally get clean, rafe?" you croaked, feeling betrayed by the quiver in your voice.

"no, no, baby. please don't even think of blaming yourself." he corrected. "the break up tore me apart. i felt utterly lost without you. i had a major wakeup call... where i finally realized what i was putting you through. i pushed you away constantly when you were just trying to help. for that, i would crawl on my hands and knees apologizing for until we die."

rafe paused to read your face.

"and even after that, into the next life." he brushed the pad of his thumb across your cheek, a silent tear having escaped your eye.

you nodded, your resolve evaporating. the vulnerability of rafe's voice, the raw honesty he was baring, set your heart alight.

he was mere inches from your face, leveling your gaze.

"and y/n?" he continued, voice thick with fervour.

"i know there are things i can't take back, no matter how deeply I wish i could. all those broken promises will act as a reminder for me to do better by you each and everyday. but i will make one vow to you now. i promise… i want to be by your side, and i have no intention of ever leaving."

you stilled, transfixed by his confession.

"god, y/n. you've got me wrapped around your finger," rafe moves his hands to cup your face. "you've changed my heart. it's all yours."

you lean into him, your need to be close overwhelming.

"i am so fucking in love with you."

somehow, rafe cameron finds a way to top every sentence.

"i have been since i first took you out on this sailboat. i'm an idiot for never telling you before."

he lifts a hand to gingerly caress your jaw and you melt.

"what i said that morning. i was hurt... you never said it, but i knew you loved me," you whispered before you felt his shoulders drop with bewildered relief.

if he angled his head, his lips would meet yours. he was letting you decide. before you put him out of his misery, you released a gentle breath.

"i saw it in the way you hid cute notes around the house telling me how pretty i am, remembering the plot of the book i was reading. hell, even leaving an umbrella by the door on a rainy day cause you knew i would forget to check the weather."

he chuckled, pulling away briefly to catch the twinkle in your eye.

“and now this?” you gestured to the dazzling lights and photos. “i love you, rafe."

and that was all he needed.

rafe captured your lips in his and the world righted itself.

you instinctively brought your hands to drape around his neck, pulling him into you. he hummed against your mouth as you moved in sync, savouring the taste of him.

your heart was brimming with happiness. with a new promise.

soon, you were both panting as he pulled away. his lips were swollen and his cheeks flushed.

at that moment, you fell just a little more in love with the man in front of you, if that was even possible.

rafe broke out into the widest smile and you returned it with one to match.

"y/n, i've got such a soft spot for you."

- the end -

taglist: @drewsphswife @drewwhor @emmafitzzz @despressoslatte

[heartbeerry]

Loveee your rafe series, when will part 3 be out ?

Thank you so much!! I’m so happy to hear that. I am just wrapping up the ending as I had a draft written that I ended up not liking, so I went an alternative route. I will be working to have it up within 24 hours! 💌

[heartbeerry]

best zach maclaren fic on the market

not the zoey you wanted (masterlist)

pairing: zach maclaren x female reader!

summary: you waited all weekend for your boyfriend, Zach, to call or text, anything, to explain why he had just went and ghosted you when you were supposed to go with him on a family ski trip to meet his parents, his sister Avery, and his cousin, Miles.

content warnings: angst; victims of catfishing; miscommunication trope

⟢ one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight(coming soon)

taglist

[heartbeerry]

i love your fic you are a talented beautiful and wonderful writer ily ily ily

i literally love you?? like so much?? cuz this is also me to you 💌

[heartbeerry]

GET DREW STARKEY IN SOME MORE ROM-COMS PLEASEEEEE 😭😭😭😭

[heartbeerry]

i got a soft spot for you / r. c | part two

pairing: rafe cameron x female reader

part one / part two / part three

cw: exes to lovers, angst, rafe redemption arc, brief mentions of alcohol/substances, some swearing, there's sweet and fluffy reconciliation at the end.

summary: y/n breaks up with rafe due to his problem with alcohol/substances. summer passes by and they find themselves at the same place one night. rafe is determined to prove he's changed for the better.

inspiration: soft spot by keshi

♫ you know i got a soft spot for you

baby, can't you see?

i need you 'cause you're everything that i’m not...

. . .

the last place you wanted to be was in a random kildare bar, flanked by sweaty bodies while electronic music reverberated through your skull.

your friends had somehow convinced you this was just a part of the “healing journey” after your breakup.

it sounded like a good idea on paper - or rather, text. but once you put yourself into your favourite outfit and took a shot of liquid courage, the novelty was already wearing off.

you missed him.

him being the only thing on your mind all summer. you thought that time would naturally heal the wound you were nursing, but it soon became evident the gap was too big to fill.

besides, filling it with alcohol and parties — given what you’d been through, was laughable. in a not-so-funny manner.

before your mind could slip further away from the present, you heard the sound of your name pull you back.

“it’s y/n, right?” a guy in a fitted polo chimed as he saddled up to your section of the dance floor.

you didn’t recognize him. a slight panic began to crawl up your throat.

it was extinguished by a tap on your shoulder, as one of your friends revealed themself.

they shot you a wide grin with two thumbs-up before ushering the rest of the group away.

just great. i’ve been ambushed with a set up.

you pushed out an exasperated breath and retrained your focus on the guy in front of you.

“sorry, uh — i don’t know your name…” you replied, offering a polite smile.

maybe this was good. talking to someone new could be good for you.

he was fairly handsome, blonde waves kissing the top of his shoulders and a pair of deep brown eyes.

“i’m paul. i’m in town for an estate sale,” he grinned, but it didn’t feel overly warm. there was an air of arrogance embedded in his expression.

“oh! well, that’s pretty interesting…” you trailed, waiting for him to continue.

when he didn’t, you nodded awkwardly, absently searching for your friends.

paul must’ve registered your lack of interest because he worked quickly to remedy this sinking ship.

“look — i’ve kinda been working up the courage to talk to you all night,” he said, before scratching the back of his head. “care for a dance?”

without waiting for your answer, paul reached out his hand just as a new song began playing, something with a slower tempo.

“i gave the dj a ten to play this song, what do ya say?” he gave you a toothy smile.

deciding quickly that one dance couldn’t hurt, you placed your hand in his as you began moving to the beat.

halfway into the song, paul took it upon himself to twirl you outwards, leaving you to follow his lead.

you tried to focus on the moment as the strobing lights flashed overhead and the music swelled.

but just then, the dam you'd built so high, abruptly broke.

a singular memory from a year ago burst through with a force strong enough to put your next step off kilter.

“you’d think you were born with two left feet, rafe cameron,” you giggled as rafe struggled to avoid stepping on your toes.

you were suddenly transported back in time to your cousin’s wedding a year ago.

“listen, we all can’t be as graceful as y/n l/n,” rafe sighed, exacting another misstep. but there was a smirk on his face, the kind of smirk where his eyes would crinkle with pure admiration.

“i told you we should have practiced before — ah!” your next sentence was cut short as the two of you fell into a tangled mess of limbs in the middle of the dance floor.

the absurdity of the situation outweighed any embarrassment and soon, the both of you were in uncontrollable hysterics.

a giggle tumbled from your lips as you spun before evolving into a full unabridged fit of laughter.

your heart pinched, the memory wedging itself deep within it. an overwhelming feeling of longing came next, just as the song was ending.

paul spun you inward to his body, before dipping you downwards to end your dance with a flourish.

blood rushed to your head, and it wasn’t due to being propelled downward, although that added a dizzying pressure behind your eyes. you needed some air.

you would thank paul for the dance, exit quietly and —

“wow. a girl as gorgeous as you AND a great dancer?” paul leaned in. too close. “i’m in love,” he murmured in your ear.

“i’m so in love with you, rafe.”

and with that, the dam was shattered.

“why is that not good enough for you? are the drugs and alcohol all you fucking care about?”

that morning was now playing on a vicious loop in your mind. you, standing in front of rafe on his porch, packed bags hanging from your arms.

“of course not! fuck — y/n, baby, please. i’ll get better — i will. i will. i’m sorry!”

tears stung your eyes.

“i’ve heard that so many times before, rafe. but you know what i haven’t heard once come from your mouth?”

“i’m sorry — i have to go,” you shook from paul’s hold, leaving him stunned and alone in the middle of the bar.

you began to rush towards the exit, running past your confused friends as you clutched a hand to your heaving chest.

“i’ve never heard you say you love me.”

barreling through the side door, you spluttered out a few ragged breaths, the scent of sea salt reaching your nose.

you teetered towards the shore of the beach opposite the bar, feeling an overwhelming urge to sink your knees into the cool sand to ground yourself.

all of a sudden, a familiar voice cut through the night air.

“y/n?”

your head shot up, never expecting to hear your name pass his lips again.

rafe’s blue eyes held you in place.

you drank him in. his hair was buzzed and he appeared to have packed on some muscle. he looked healthy.

when your gaze finally settled on his, his throat wobbled. his next intake of breath thick with emotion.

here he was, in all his glory. time seemed to come to a halt.

slam.

“wait! y/n…” paul appeared, throwing the back door open. he was panting slightly but righted himself when he spotted you.

this could not be happening.

rafe had been in the middle of taking a step towards your crumpled form, burning with the need to hold you. he retracted, standing up tall and shoving his hands into his front jean pockets.

he felt like a fool as he followed your line of sight to paul, agony flashing across his face.

unable to steal another glance at rafe, you slowly rose, making your way towards paul.

wiping your tear-stained face, you offered an unconvincing “hey.”

paul seemed to clock rafe’s facial expression, the desire apparent.

his jaw ticked and suddenly, the suave aura paul had exuded, evaporated. once you reached him, he scoffed incredulously, earning a confused look from you.

“so what? you ditched me to run out here for another guy?” paul spat, crossing his arms defensively.

“what? no - i just needed some — ”you began.

“save it. girls like you aren’t worth my time.”

you were suffering from whiplash. this guy, this stranger, had just shown his true intentions.

discomfort bloomed in your chest.

“woah — listen here, dumbass,” rafe snarled, taking large strides towards paul, venom oozing from his voice.

“stop. it’s okay, rafe.”

and rafe did indeed stop.

because you had said his name and it sounded so good.

“think whatever you want,” you replied, not giving paul the decency of eye contact. he huffed before muttering some other insult and stormed back towards the bar.

the only sound to be heard was the gentle lapping of waves against the sand. you were suddenly feeling very tired.

you turned to rafe, who was now only a few steps from you, his towering frame just about absorbing all of the light the full moon had to offer tonight.

your heart ached as you instinctively wrapped your arms around your body. rafe noticed and cleared his throat, becoming overly invested in the sand beneath his feet.

“uhm… thank you. for being there while he…” you had no idea what you were saying. heat rose to your cheeks.

rafe shook his head swiftly and waved you off.

“no — i mean, i didn’t do much. you were, you were great. you handled that very well, i mean,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

a small smile pulled at the corners of your mouth, but you were brought back to reality when you remembered the memory you were recounting before you broke out into tears in the middle of a crowded bar.

“look, y/n i — ” rafe started, capturing your stare, wanting to be in your presence for just a little longer.

a beat passed, you lowered your eyes.

“no, please. i’m not interested in hearing what you have to say. i can’t handle any more empty promises,” you remarked, recalling how many times rafe would apologize and claim he would change his destructive habits.

“but i’ve actually been doing pretty well,” rafe spoke quickly, desperate to keep your attention. he didn’t have the words to express himself.

a humourless chuckle left your lips.

“and i’m happy for you, rafe. really, i am. but you’ve already shown me that i don’t fit into your life,” you sniffed.

great, the tears were threatening to spill once more. how pathetic.

it was like you had slapped rafe square across the face. that’s what you thought of him?

pure shame and regret bubbled in his chest as he combed through every stupid mistake he’d made that led to this moment.

rafe then noticed his face was wet. silent tears were streaming down his face. he hastily brushed them away before you could see, coming to terms with the fact he was losing you all over again.

if only he could hear you say his name one more time. if you would just look at him.

unable to say more, you turned to trudge back towards the bar, determined to find your friends so you could go home.

“you’re the only piece of my life that made sense,” his voice was raw, ladened with truth.

the confession nearly stopped you in your tracks as you shuddered an uneasy breath.

you willed yourself to keep your head forward, denying the urge to turn around and take one more glance at the boy you had loved so deeply.

“just let me prove it to you…” rafe whispered as he watched your figure disappear into the bar.

. . .

too late, don't wanna fall, baby, i just

don't need somebody else to throw me aside

but i’m up all night, thinkin' "bout how

it could be you to change my heart... ♫

part three

[heartbeerry]

i got a soft spot for you / r. c | part one

pairing: rafe cameron x female reader

part one / part two / part three

cw: exes to lovers, angst, rafe redemption arc, brief mentions of alcohol/substances, some swearing, there's sweet and fluffy reconciliation at the end.

summary: y/n breaks up with rafe due to his problem with alcohol/substances. summer passes by and they find themselves at the same place one night. rafe is determined to prove he's changed for the better.

inspiration: soft spot by keshi

♫ i don't go out, but i’ll do it for you

you never liked it when i drink too much

i hate to dance, but i’d dance with you

'cause i’d do anything to feel your touch...

. . .

the condensation from the full glass of whiskey pooled in rafe's grasp.

he hadn’t had a drop, instead opting to swirl the amber liquid in a circular motion. he let out a small sigh as he ran his fingers over a fresh buzz cut.

it was his first night out in weeks, his inner circle dragging him from his house to "let loose". once arriving at the bar, one of them shoved a glass in his hand and left him to stew in a faraway corner.

rafe was heavily considering taking a sip, giving in, letting all of his progress go to waste.

that is until he spotted you from across the room.

his heart clenched at the sight of your smile, directed towards a group of your friends. you looked happy. without him.

it had been an entire summer since the break up and you were clearly handling it well.

rafe on the other hand, was in pieces.

unbeknownst to you, he had been diverting all of his frustrations into getting clean.

he moved towards the spiral stairs to get to the upper level without catching your gaze. he knew your fun would end if you caught sight of him.

rafe's stomach bunched in knots as his hand gripped the railing. he was stumbling, failing at pushing down the onslaught of thoughts threatening to consume him.

"don't you think you've had enough, babe?" you nudged rafe's shoulder, unable to disguise your concern. he hated when you looked at him like you were almost afraid of what would happen next.

you were at a pool party and rafe's inebriated state was resulting in hushed whispers throughout the crowd.

"i know when to stop, y/n. don'tcha worry, let's just have sum good ol' fun." he slurred back. then, before he could take another sip of his beer, rafe was tripping over his own two feet into the pool, bringing you down with him.

rafe felt hot wet tears line his lids as he recalled that night. the night that broke all of your resolve. the next morning, you were packed up and out of his life. he couldn't blame you, he knew he was a disgrace.

it hadn't been the first time his drunken state had caused a problem in your relationship. but to you, it would be the last.

the already raw revelation stung all over again as rafe looked on over the dance floor from the upper balcony of the bar. you looked amazing, absolutely perfect and - were now being chatted up by some glorified finance bro.

rafe could tell the guy was asking you to dance, by the sheer shit-eating grin on his face as he placed an outstretched hand in your direction. when he saw you hesitate, his heart lurched, begging you to decline.

the moment dredged up another memory - this time, one he couldn't dare to misremember.

"come on, baby," you grin, tugging gently on rafe's ring clad hand. "i really want to dance, everyone is already on the floor!"

rafe beamed up at you, your infectious smile giving him the necessary energy to get up from his seat.

he would rather soon drop dead than attempt to dance, but the look on your face was immeasurable and he would never give up the opportunity to feel your touch.

that was just a month into your relationship, but rafe knew. he knew he was wrapped around your finger as he ambled across the dance floor at your cousin's wedding with the dexterity and grace of a newborn fawn, your laughter filling his ears.

rafe all but threw the glass down on a nearby table, whiskey sloshing from the rim. he jammed his palms into his eyes, willing himself to use the breathing exercise you taught him for when his anxiety rose to a dangerous level.

when he removed his hands from his face, rafe wished to be anywhere else. the deepest depths of hell would be more appealing.

on the floor below, you were in the middle of that mellifluous laugh as your new dance partner was spinning you in circles.

rafe scaled the stairs to the back entrance, battling the pure anguish in his chest.

he couldn't breathe.

swinging the door open, rafe stepped into the humid night.

. . .

i’m wrapped around your finger and i can't stop

you know i got a soft spot for you... ♫

part two