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I dream of rough hands and warm embraces
I dream of somewhere safe to lay my soul at night
I dream of a life where I am loved without fear
I dream of a safe haven of love for my babies
I dream of a life with no wants
I dream of someone to share my burdens without shame
I dream of a partner to lean on in dark times
I dream of a partner that doesn’t bring the dark times
I dream of a safe place to land
I dream of no more rage, anger, or sadness
I dream of a simpler life
I dream of giggles and laughter flowing down the hall
I dream of a home that can’t be taken away
I dream of a life without disappointment
I dream of a time without strife
I dream of comfortability and contentment
I dream of ice cream sundaes on a warm summer day
I dream of never wondering about what I don’t know
I dream of shared morals and emotional stability
I dream of trust over manipulation
I dream of family movie night snuggled in on the couch
I dream of never meeting him
I dream of being content alone
I dream of happiness.
But dreams are just that, dreams. And reality is rarely often a dream.
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First novel concept.. Forbidden Biker
My heart is pounding as we round the corner and the meeting spot comes into view. I fist my hands into his jacket, holding on for dear life.
One, two, three, four… breathe, it’ll be fine. One, two…
I feel pressure on my thigh right above my knee. My heart stops as I realize he’s squeezing my thigh. Shit. He knows I’m freaking.
C’mon you psycho, just breathe. Don’t let him know you’re insane.
He rolls to a stop next to all the other bikes. All lined up like an execution, or like a Saturday blowout sell at the Motorsports store.
He cuts the engine, reaches back and taps my leg. That’s the signal to dismount the bike. I swing my leg over and suddenly I feel my arm being jerked back.
What the hell? I spin around and land into a steel wall of chest. Except, it’s not Eli’s chest I’m now squished into. I jump back and almost fall again only this time, no grabby biker puts his hands on me. I regain my balance before I fall face first into the asphalt.
“Whoa, whoa, you okay babe?” Eli asks as he moves off his bike to come check on me.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just a little wobbly from the ride, I guess.” My voice is muffled from the helmet. I reach up under my chin to try to unhook the fastener but of course, I’m not getting anywhere.
I feel the rumble in his chest before I hear the deep chuckle come from the man that’s still standing way too close for comfort. I take a step sideways towards Eli and the man just starts laughing louder.
“Here, let me help” Eli says and he unbuckles my helmet and slowly removes it from my head. God, my hair is everywhere. I feel like someone just rubbed a balloon on my head for an hour.
“Oh, umm, I need to… umm, I’ll be right back. Bathroom?” I frantically look around for the entrance to the bathroom.
Eli raises his hand and points as soon as I spot it. “Be right back!” I yell off behind me as I all but sprint towards the bathroom door on the side of the gas station building.
“E, where’d you find this one?” I hear a deep voice ask as I pull the bathroom door open and rush inside.
Oh, god. It’s worse than I thought. The braids that I did in hopes that my hair would be somewhat intact after being shoved in a helmet and the thirty minute bike ride to the meet-up spot, are loose with strands poking out ever-which way.
Oh, this is a fucking disaster!
I pull out the braids, flip my head upside down and start trying to salvage my appearance to something presentable when I hear a bang behind me. I’m sure I jump clean out of my skin at the sound. I flip my head back up but way too fast, so now there are black dots dancing along my blurry vision. I start to sway back and forth, as I jut my hands out to grab onto anything to catch me when I go down.
Just great, there’s a murderer coming to murder me in a dingy gas station bathroom and I can’t even look my killer in the eye.
“Whoa there, sunshine. I’ve got you.” Big, giant hands wrap around my biceps and hold me up, crashing my face into a rock hard chest. Those hands do not belong to Eli. Murdering stranger smells like fucking heaven. Deep woodsy, sexy scent fills my nostrils. If I wasn’t one second from passing out already, that scent would do me in.
A voice so deep I can feel the rumbling all the way in my toes. My vision’s starting to come back but still unfocused with black dots dancing around, my head feels like it’s swimming. God, that voice. I know that voice.
“I’m… uh, I-I..” Lord, I can’t even speak. His hands squeeze, and I feel like my whole body is on fire.
“It’s okay, sunshine. Just breathe. You really are special, aren’t you? Can’t get off a bike without passing out.” My eyes focus, and I see Mr. Mysterious still has his helmet on. Matte black with a visor so tinted I’m not for sure how he sees out, cause I definitely can’t see a thing besides my own reflection staring back at me.
Goddamn it Cai, close your damn mouth, Jesus. My mouth snaps shut so fast I’m sure he heard the snap of my teeth. His chest starts rumbling again. Great, good to know I’m fucking amusing, dickhead.
He’s still holding me up, and the heat from his body is burning me alive. I cannot think with him this damn close to me, with his hands on me. I go to step back, but his grip tightens.
“Tsk Tsk, I don’t think so. You’re not going anywhere.” His hands slide down my body and I feel like I’m gonna combust into flames at any moment.
Why in the fuck am I just standing here letting homeboy put his hands all over me? Who is this?
He’s one of Eli’s friends for sure, but why am I not cutting his hands off for touching me? His hands are now at my hips. A gasp leaves my lips as he jerks me into him, crashing my pelvis into his.
“What the he—“
“Shut up.” He cuts me off. His hands slide around to my ass and he shoves his hands into the back pockets of my jeans.
I’m sure people in outer space can hear me breathing, or panting is a more appropriate description. It’s like all air has left my body, along with my reason. Clearly.
“Fuck, Sunshine, my cock is begging to be buried in this ass.” He squeezes my ass through my jeans, and I’m pretty sure my lungs stop working. What the actual fuck?!
“I’m all for breath play baby, but you gotta breathe before you pass out on me. I need you awake for this next part.” There is no air in my lungs. My body no longer is mine. I have zero control here, and I’m freaking out. What the fuck?!
THUMP.
I look down at the glove on the bathroom floor just as I feel his hand slide in the front of my jeans. Wait, what? I didn’t even notice him unbutton my jeans! What in the fuck is happening?! I gasp out a moan as all the air leaves my body when he swipes a finger over the wet spot on my thong.
“Wet for me? Or did the vibrations from the bike pressed against this pussy on the ride here get you all worked up?” That fucking voice, as deep as the sea and as smooth as the right side of velvet.
Shit. This is not gonna end well for me. Why haven’t I stopped him yet? Not that my body is working for me at the moment, but it sure as fuck is working for him.
“N-Name?” My voice comes out barely a breath. Why am I letting a stranger do this to me? Eli could walk in at any minute.
My heartbeat pounds in my ears, my stomach feels like it’s gonna jump up through my throat any minute now. I can barely hear myself gasping for breath, the only evidence is the violent heaving of my chest.
“Eyes on me. Focus, Sunshine.” I blink up at him but am only met with my reflection in his visor. God, I look like shit. Panic attack, fuck. Not again. I try to calm my breathing.
One, two, three, four, fuck. I’m gonna die. Five, six, seven..
All the breath evaporates from my lungs as I feel his coarse fingers drag down across my pussy. My hips buck as his fingertips brush against my clit. Where the fuck are my panties?
“You’re so fucking soaked for me.” His voice is deep and thick. Reminds me of honey. God, I’m stupid. That makes no fucking sense. How can a voice sound like honey? What the actual fuck, Cai?
I barely recognize the strangled scream that works up and out of my throat as he pushes one finger in me. My hips jerk forward at the intrusion. He curls his finger up, stars dance across my vision as he rubs a spot I’m sure only God knows about.
“Fuck yes, Sunshine. That’s a good fucking girl. Fuck, I need this pussy clamped down around my cock.” His voice sounds like it’s coming through a tunnel. All I can focus on is how good it feels when he sinks a second finger into me. Fuck, I’ve never felt like this before.
“Uh, I-I.. Oh, God!” I moan as my body begins to tremble. I’ve only came a handful of times with a man. I thought only my toys, buried deep in my closet, could make me come, but I’ve never felt like this. It feels like a monster is clawing its way up my insides ready to explode out of my chest.
I’m covered in sweat, heat spreads up and across my chest to the tips of my toes, my body is shaking as if a demon is being exorcised out of me.
“There’s no God here, Sunshine. Only me. Let me hear you worship me as you come all over my fingers.” What. The. Fuck.
All logic is out the window as my body does just that. My pussy clamps down on his fingers and my hips buck back and forth. His fingers rubbing the secret God spot as his thumb circles my clit. Dots dance along my vision as the demon crawls up my chest and explodes out of my throat as the most gargled, feral scream I’ve ever heard escapes my lips.
“That’s a good fucking girl.” He grabs each of my cheeks with his other hand and forces my face into his. Yep, I’ve been exorcised alright.
My eyes meet my reflection in his visor. My cheeks are as red as a tomato, there’s sweat lining my forehead, my body trembles with each strangled breath I suck in, my hair looks as if I stuck my finger in a socket. The warmth spreads across my chest again. What the fuck is that?
I don’t have time to question it because he releases my face and reaches for his helmet. My stomach starts doing flips again, my chest burns from lack of oxygen as he unfastens the buckle under his chin with one hand and pulls the helmet over his head.
A part of me is relieved when I see his face is still covered by a black mask that stretches across his nose, under his cheek bones, and up over his ears.
The brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen stare into my soul. His black hair is short at the bottom but longer at the top, wisps coming down around his eyes like a curtain trying to contain the darkness. He raises an eyebrow at me as he lifts the mask from right below his chin.
A deep growl vibrates through his chest. I tear my eyes from his to see a set of full lips puckered around his two fingers. The two fingers that were just in my pussy! Fuck, he’s licking my juices off his fingers. If my panties weren’t soaked already, they definitely would be now. Because, fuck that is hot.
His eyes flicker closed as he growls, licking his fingers clean. He crashes his lips to mine, running his tongue across the seam of my lips. I open my mouth as his tongue starts to dance with mine. I have never been kissed like this. I can taste my come on his tongue. My chin feels raw from his stubble exfoliating my skin. He’s right, the things I would do to worship this man are ungodly.
In a breath he’s gone, his back to me as he makes his way to the door. He turns, flashing me with a set of peridot eyes. He winks as his helmet slides down his face and I’m met once again with my own reflection. I hear the lock click in the distance and then he’s gone. I’m left alone with my heart in my throat and my stomach in my throbbing, soaked pussy.
Deep breath, Cai. Let’s go do this. I splash water on my face and make my way out to face the small army of bikers outside.
I step out into the cool air and take a deep breath in, trying to calm the tornado in my chest where my heart used to be. I slam into a wall of chest for what seems like the thousandth time tonight.
“There you are, baby. I was starting to worry, are you okay?” Eli’s hands find my hips as he pulls me into him. “You’re shaking. Cai, I told you, everything is going to be okay. The guys will love you, stop worrying.” I flash him a small smile as I take another deep breath.
“I’m okay, Eli. My body must still be worked up with adrenaline from the ride.” I don’t know if I’m convincing, I do know I look like the devil just yanked my soul up through my chest. In a way, he kinda did.
Eli runs his hands over my arms before grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the hoard of bikers surrounding the row of bikes. My eyes scan the crowd but no sign of my devil anywhere. Most of the guys have their helmets off now, and I find myself searching each face for a pair of the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen.
Fuck, what have I done?
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