hecktickettalks

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OH YEAH I’m gonna complain over here about a Computer Issue

I’m so fuckin done with my laptop. I actually know Exactly what’s wrong but I haven’t managed to fix it; Apparently fuckening Lenovo’s updated hecked the heck up trying to update!! my fucking!! BIOS!! and now my BIOS!! is fucked up!! MY COMPUTER’S BRAIN!! THE BIOS!! (this is apparently a ridiculously, sadly common issue. also I didn’t turn off/hibernate etc when it was trying to update this was 100% It Fucking Up) So. When I try and turn my computer on, 14 times out of 15, it gets stuck in a boot loop of lighting up/fans whirring for a half second, stopping, repeating endlessly. the remaining single time, The Stars Align and its BIOS stumbles its way to success and I boot normally. I just need to update my BIOS. HOWEVER, since my CURRENT BIOS is SOL, the updater! won’t work! because its step zero is “check current BIOS” and it fails to access it like 49 times out of 50 and just. throwns me an Error Code 216 and gives up. The like three or four times the updater managed to read my current BIOS it just..... still.... failed to update I’ve tried going into the BIOS security menu and disabling, like, the safety setting that would let me write an older BIOS (whatever that’s called I forget and i am not googling it for this text post), but it still won’t work.  my current Strat is one of “never turning my laptop off, letting it sleep but never hibernate, because what if it just actually fails to boot one day lol have fun buying your new motherboard”. this is, as one can imagine, Inconvenient. maybe flashing a correct BIOS tool on a USB drive would work idk I’m ust exhausted

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What do you think spike would look like in human form

Fullres HERE in case tumblr eats that.boooOOOOY do i have OPINIONSI know I have kind of sort of Unique Spike opinions and I'm not here to pooh-pooh anyone else's interpretation. But I CANNOT imagine this kid not chubby, okay?? He's greedy! GREEDY LITTLE PIG BOY. He also doesn't quite fit right into pony society, so I imagine him as just, like... Some sort, of counterculture kid? My mind always goes scenekid/zine kid. I also imagine him growing up and just gettin More and More Genderqueer but hey -- I know that'sa Me but YES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING I NEEDED A SOAP BOX AND THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE DRAWN IN LIKE A MONTH(just pretend I made a purple-skin edit)

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yeah so this is what’s up it’s a little embarrassing but context is Important, workin’ on it

so i’ve been bombing twitter with this but to say it here – my (again, for posterity’s sake, actual PTSD-having) ass had her like numero uno Trigger tripped the fuck up like… a week? ago? five days? and so I have been in (((the pit))) ever since. i need to post this on other blogs but I’ve been meaning to post this for days. it’s the first time in like years this trigger’s been slammed and it’s got me like borderline dysfunctional lol so uhh, Bear With Me My Dudes lol time is meaningless everything is meaningless

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like, you’re allowed your opinion but I’m gonna check the tags me dudes and these sorts of things just make me Feel Bad :c 

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BONUS IN-CHARACTER PICS THERE IS NOT NECESSARILY ANYTHING IN THAT BOWL, FRIEND p.s. @faedee

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I never posted about how one time I was Tree Hugger

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I’m just so thankful I grew a backbone and finally told my creeper dudes from my teen years to heck off tho, this is Not.... a problem I have any more thankfully 8′)

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A post for any young artists, writers -- anyone who might take commissions -- but especially young women

This is something I wish someone would have told me back when I started taking comms, so

There is going to come a time where you're going to offer your craft for sale, and you're going to have a client that is some intersection of 1. wealthy, 2. boundary-pushing, and possibly 3. interested in you. And you're probably going to be still negotiating your exact boundaries, due to some intersection of 1. a genuine need for money, and 2. a fear of coming off as rude due to 2A. the sort of things people who work customer service get taught and 2B. often the sort of gendered messages especially girls get taught about politeness. The first time it's going to happen you're probably still going to be young, too, so you're not even used to HAVING that much autonomy or that much practice telling people, frankly, to fuck off. And you're gonna be broke and eager for money and so you're gonna swallow your discomfort and put on an about-face and deal with Mx. Overbearing because they have money and they're willing and EAGER to give it to you.

There's a super good chance it'll lead you to take on too much work for this person (maybe dramatically too much), or even subject matter that makes you uncomfortable, or you find unduly difficult, but you ignore it for that particularly enticing carrot

There's a chance you'll be genial and kind to this person and they'll take it as close friendship, even if you're not particularly fond of them, but you'll be too scared to try and foster distance for fear of scaring them off

There's even a chance they'll begin to pronounce romantic or sexual overtures, and the existence of financial need will lead you to tolerating far beyond your comfort level.

If it gets that far you'll probably hope you can slow fade and back off, and I really hope you can! You probably can! You might not be able to, and it might eventually come to a head and lead you to spill the truth, leading to a sense of betrayal in your admirer and ugly fallout. See this infamous story about a dude who got a crush on a Livestreamer for the stalker half of the equation I've been discussing

This Is Totally A Thing, it's a thing I've dealt with, and pretty much 100% of my artist friends have, too. So I'm just 1. warning you, and like 2. trying to tell you:

-saying No is okay -Saying No Is Okay!! -If you managed to get this client, you'll get others, I promise -It might not be instantaneous and it'll be discouraging; focus that just on hustling and putting yourself out there to a wider audience regardless -Because being on the other side I gotta say genuinely: IT IS NOT WORTH THE STRESS -Hindsight is 20/20 but no, I would not do it again, even for more money -Be kind to yourself, though, it's okay if you don't figure out your boundaries or limits until they're broken a few times -But please don't be afraid to write terse scripts and use block functions -THERE ARE ALWAYS MORE CLIENTS I PROMISE!! -Rock on

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OH NO THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!!!

Spike And Charmander (Speedpaint Available) by L-Y-N-S

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i may/may not be writing twi/spike/ember fanfic fluff god forsake my wretched soul

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I need to be studying so I’m “not here” But oh my god it just occurred to me how GOOD older-Spike being a sex worker is, it fits in so well with my Personal Headcanon that he has very little enculturation around the ideas of love/relationships/sex/etc. “Wait, you’re tellin’ me. You’ll give me all that money, and all I gotta do is let you diddle my butt?? Haha GO for it!!”

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new ep thoughts

Very Good if predictable, every background dragon was a cutie, i love that they made Garble more a fratboy legit, Ember was cute as hell, there was literally 0% of a reason for rares to be in this ep lol and can I get a twi/spike/ember ship goin let’s Do This

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Just a heads up that your main Tumblr doesn't load (tested in three different devices on two different ISPs). It just shows an empty page. The archive links still works though.

AaaauuuUUUUGH THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP DUDE. I TRIED to put a “curtain block” on my main, like this: http://cockatielcutie-archive.tumblr.com/post/77041457399/curtainblockjs-the-updated-tutorialbut I apparently fucked the CSS up somewhere. Gonna fiddle, thanks!

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[negative/rude/shiphate]

and it’s like -- that view of Spike is why I think I cannot stomach spare-ity one bit? well, among other reasons. But this idea (that is 100% purely headcanon, I know, I own that) that Spike is just barely outside of what his community understands and wants is so important to me, that he is, generally, “queer”. And I don’t necessarily mean gay or trans or anything like that, I just mean -- the way that Spike relates to pony society is analogous to the way a queer person relates to mainstream American/Euro/Etc society. In as much that he just doesn’t quite fit, that the mold they have for the little guy is just not quite right. And he tries to follow the provided societal choreography (we can all interpret anything however we want, but the whole mustache thing has ALWAYS read to me as “a dragon mimicking the actions he thinks A Boy is SUPPOSED to do”) only to be met with frustration, and so, he ultimately abandons it. He doesn’t have relationships like they have, he doesn’t get treated like they do, he doesn’t be a “boy” the same way they do, so he... quits trying.  i know this is me projecting like a M O T H E R F U C K E R  onto a cartoon dragon. But that experience -- livin in that liminal state -- is so important to me, and for whatever reason, my brain has decided to make Spike my totem for that. i know, weird right? but that’s why my brain like VIOLENTLY REJECTS really cis het masc Spikes, they’re just jarring and wrong to me... the idea that he’s this suave horny lady killer just makes me!! mentally lash out!! aaahh!! and like 98% of all of The badship is EXACTLY that, just this very... very het masculine spike wooing her...... and the remaining 2% hits other bad buttons for me... there;s like 800 other reasons I canNOt with spare-ity but that’s well-worn ground. spike is a lil queer hoodlum. i am unstoppable

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But what if the girl next store is a MILF? These are the questions we must ask ourselves.

My experiments are telling me the answer here is “Cadance”

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twispike and the beauty of asymmetric relations

My antis are making me too, uhh, tweaked tbh to stuudy effectively fore midterms so here, have some Twispike Feelings Dumping the concepts of different types of love is one that has always enamored me.... while I’m romo, I’m friends with an aro (but allosexual, she’s not aroace) girl and her thoughts regarding the emotions she goes through being friends with people who want to push her into a relationship/want “more” from her always fascinate me... (if ur reading this, Friend, hop it’s not weird to refer to you in the third person like this i don’t even think u look here). asymmetric relationships tend to be portrayed as always bad, unfair, to be avoided. but it’s like, if two people want something different from one another, and they bother understand and respect that -- well, i think that’s very beautiful. i don’t know. if they can understand that their partner’s needs are different than their own, and meet those specific needs? what a lovely endeavor! (incidentally this is why I love fictional depictions of healthy polyamory, even though i’m mono) Twi is needy, neurotic, impulsed and driven. she does her best but her anxiety tends to rule the roost and direct her actions without a second thought. that big brains spins its wheels and she follows it wordlessly, often to her own dismay. She needs a wrench thrown in her gears -- Spike. she needs grounding. For the auspicious life she’s led he has been on of the few constants and there is no denying she will continue to need his attention and calming. Spike is always there. Spike needs her too. In her worst moments Twi is clingy and possessive of Spike out of fear, terrified of her security blanket ever leaving. this is temporary, this is a demon of anxiety driving her. as they mature, and as Spike continues to prove himself a constant, the possession acquiesces. She is assured and exalted in his consistency.After they become open about their feelings Spike could straight fuck off and out of town for a year and Twi wouldn’t flinch. he could fuck someone else. Twi wouldn’t care, she Has Him and Spike Is Always Going To Be In Her Life, The One Constant She Has Always Had Absolutely Will Not Change. she needs this. her love is eager, driven, necessary. Contrast Spike. Spike will probably never leave the liminal state he currently occupies. His entire existence is one of a search for identity in the face of a society that has none to give him.  he has no dragon role models, very little sense of family or relation; but he is chipper and calm in spite of it! Being an outsider -- Spike does NOT understand, truly, the intricacies of most of the sociological and/or anthropological (equestrilogical?) implications of where he lives. He is poorly enculturated. He does not wholly understand, well, much of any of these customs of his society, not relationships or gender or family or community. He speaks Friendship with a very funny accent. There were spats in his adolescence where his obvious outsider status frustrated him, but now, he is content. Spike is content to drift as a permanent tourist in this alien land and has accepted this. And Spike Knows he loves Twi. he doesn’t quite understand the implications of this -- why does that mean he can’t love anyone else? why COULDN’t he love Twi? Why is that wrong? -- but he knows it as truly as any other fact in his life. From an early age he accepted that he was going to be with Twi forever, not really getting that, to others, that was not quite such a given. Why were they asking his when he was gonna move out as a teenager?? Why did Scootaloo make it weird when we kissed that one time, asking things like “so what are we”?? Auugh, don’T ASK Spike these things!! He is frustrated by a society he does not understand intimately telling he is wrong for stepping over invisible boundaries constantly. But Twi never does that. Twi accepts Spike as the weird little gremlin he is. She’d never ask why he was digging a nest for no reason, or hiding in the fireplace because It Seemed Cool. He’s Spike, he just sort of does his own thing, and it seems like Twi is truly the only one to not tut-tut him back into place if he seems to violate norms. His love is warm, big, but in all honestly, simple. Breaking it down to brass tacks, he probably has a single frequency of “love” -- he does not love Twi especially more than he loves anyone or thing else (contrast Twi, who ABSOLUTELY has gradients of affection, where he sits squarely at the top). Spike seems to at least superficially understand that the emotions Twi feels for him are not symmetric to his experience. He gets that Twi loves him “harder”, in a much more intense, needy way. He’s okay with that. He understands that sometimes Twi will need him and he won’t quite understand why and that’s okay. Twi understands that this big lug that likes to cuddle and fuck is never going to be some suave Casanova. He’s never gonna wax poetic. Twi understands that his love is more, for want of a better term, “basic” -- but it is just as real. She knows she can’t demand some sort of relationship model he would never fit in; he would absolutely never really “get” it, and that’s okay. Twi knows Spike is always just gonna be this big affectionate puppy and not some insightful lover.He’s always gonna be Spike, and that’s all she could ever want. relationships don’t have to be 1:1 to be lovely and functional. everyone just has to understand everyone else, and their needs. that sort of stammering to speak the others’ language is even, in a way, all the more beautiful

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I cracked a pony fucker code: If you’re more into girl-next-door types, you like Luna If you’re more into MILFs, you like Celestia