hel7l7 - Tumblr blog

[hel7l7]

Your art is awesome this is the second time I'm relapsing to it

Hi anon,

Things must be hard for you right now and I'm sorry to hear that it ended in a relapse. I'm honestly a little confused about this message, it brought up many questions that I won't bother you with, since you have a lot going on rn - or at least that's what it sounds like. I do wonder why you felt the need to tell me this. Because you know there's nothing I can do about it. I never meant to do you any harm...

I know how much it sucks to be hurt, by life or by other people. And I know that this pain can come with a lot of anger and that sometimes it helps a little to blow off steam somewhere. I hope that you got some relief by sending me this message. If not, I hope you were able to find another healthy way to cope.

My art can be triggering to some, I'm aware of that. I actually answered another ask about this a while back and I wanted to give you the chance to read my answer to that in case you're interested.

Here is the other ask.

I hope you're well anon. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Take care You matter!

[hel7l7]

I'm not gonna forgive you

[hel7l7]

it was his fault not mine

[hel7l7]

You haven't changed at all

[hel7l7]

Why didn't you?

[hel7l7]

I think I'm ready to cry about it

[hel7l7]

I wanted to hear you say it was ok.

[hel7l7]

I start missing you as soon as you're out of sight

[hel7l7]

On days like this, everything is too much

[hel7l7]

I’m in that weird stage of healing from smt where things are new and good. But the fact that it feels new and different terrifies me and makes me spiral into some sort of crazy panic mode because I just want control….

What I had in the past was not better than what is now. Repeat. I am only comfortable in chaos because it is what I know best. Repeat. I can learn to get used to a new version of me and it won’t always feel scary and uncomfortable. Repeat.

[hel7l7]

Didn't you think I already blamed myself enough for this?

[hel7l7]

Why didn't you notice? Why didn't you listen?

[hel7l7]

I can't explain how bad this hurts

[hel7l7]

I keep dreaming about you

[hel7l7]

I never asked for this either

[hel7l7]

I never asked for this either

[hel7l7]

I keep telling myself it was not that bad