hello-my-name-is-aves

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

Ough. This is my worst performing fic I have ever posted for kny 😂 I guess people don't like tragic romance and unhappy endings. But ya know what? I tagged it. So I shan't claim the blame. You clicked on it people, what did you think was gonna happen!

Maybe it was always going to end up this way, Sanemi thought as he watched Giyuu meticulously do up the buttons on his shirt. He could still see the rich bloom of maroon across his chest, right over his heart, a match to the array of marks like rose petals scattered across his throat and the back of his neck. Marks. Evidence that Tomioka Giyuu had a heart. Or so Sanemi had thought until… This was a mistake.

Sanemi really should have known better.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

Maybe it was always going to end up this way, Sanemi thought as he watched Giyuu meticulously do up the buttons on his shirt. He could still see the rich bloom of maroon across his chest, right over his heart, a match to the array of marks like rose petals scattered across his throat and the back of his neck. Marks. Evidence that Tomioka Giyuu had a heart. Or so Sanemi had thought until… This was a mistake.

Sanemi really should have known better.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

Kimetsu no Yaiba References

A collection of basic references, with links to more in-depth explanations and analysis. As much as possible details are taken from canon sources, but for what isn’t expressly stated, sleuthing was required and therefore has a margin of error. Some sections are also outside-research based for what is hopefully handy meta, especially for fanfic writers. Note: This post is likely to be edited with future additions.

Please see below the cut for the following topics:

- When does Kimetsu no Yaiba take place? - Attempted timelines of various characters and canon events - Where does Kimetsu no Yaiba take place? - What are the official Corp ranks? - Translations of some canon material printed outside the manga - Meta analysis with close reading of canon or outside research on: ——-Demons mechanisms ——-Name analysis ——-Taisho Period details ——-Traditional patterns and symbolism ———–and more…

Keep reading

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

I've never written SaneGiyuu with a sad ending until now. So much angst. All the hurt, none of the comfort. Two broken hearts. This fic is torturous. I'm in pain. I'm gonna have to write copious amounts of fluff after this. I may never recover.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

If you don't love him at his

Then you don't deserve him at his

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

Sanemi Loves Giyuu Because He Reminds Him of Kanae

*Siiiiiiighhhh*

I have seen this theory posited one too many times, and I finally have to gently and lovingly tell anyone who will listen that it is just nonsensical bullshit.

To anyone who has ever thought/felt/argued this point: WDYM!? They both have....black hair? Because, truly, that is where any comparison between them ends. (And, in case we forgot, KNY takes places in Japan. Do you know how many people in Japan have black hair? The Hashira and Kamabokos are like a bunch of freakish outliers in terms of hair color.) So if we dismiss hair color, what else is there? They are different genders, different body types, different eyes, different skin tones - Surely we can all agree that Sanemi is NOT attracted to them both on the basis of a physical resemblance.

So what about personalities?

Kanae was gentle and soft and warm. She was kind-hearted and easy-going. She almost always had a smile on her face. She was friendly with everyone. She (with, perhaps, delusional optimism) had a dream of one-day living peacefully alongside demons.

...Does any of that sound like Giyuu Tomioka?

Giyuu who never smiles? Giyuu who, when he deigns to speak at all, speaks with callous dismissal and a sprinkle of sass? Giyuu who has exactly ZERO friends, is difficult to work with, and is beset by crippling self-doubt?

Kanae and Giyuu could not be more different. There is absolutely no way, none whatsoever, that Sanemi Shinazugawa looks at Giyuu and sees Kanae. If he does, it is only, perhaps, in a moment of nostalgia because the emotion he feels for both of them is love.

All of that assumes that Sanemi did, in fact, love Kanae AND Giyuu.

But, alas, I just find that impossible to buy into. Sanemi Did Not Love Kanae Romantically. Now, I want to preface this next bit with telling you that I have nothing against SaneKana as a fan ship. It has aesthetic appeal, and in full disclosure, I was a SaneKana shipper before I saw the light discovered SaneGiyuu. I do, however, take issue with anyone who claims on any level whatsoever that SaneKana was canon.

The piece of evidence people always point to when they claim that Sanemi loved Kanae is Gyomei the Tea Hashira's assessment of his fellow Hashira in the fanbook where he says of Sanemi: He seems to like Kanae.

And then the claim is supported on Sanemi's page when he says that he talks to Shinobu every now and then because she was Kanae's sister.

I cannot stress enough how mediocre that is as evidence. "Like" is such an ambiguous word. I LIKE a lot of people that I don't want to date/marry/shag. Sanemi also "Likes" Kyojuro. In another translation of the same page, it says on Obanai's section that he "Likes" Obanai best of all. No one is trying to claim that SaneRen and SaneOba are canon ships. If the statements were backed up by canon evidence for SaneKana then I could see it, but someone tell me, where is the evidence?

In the Manga, they have ONE interaction, and that is Kanae gently berating Sanemi for his outburst at his first Hashira Meeting.

In the Light Novels, they also have ONE interaction, and do you know how it goes...? Sanemi thinks about his mom. Guys. Guys. Sanemi did not have a crush on Kanae. He just was reminded of his mom by her gentle nature and her warm hands. When she is bandaging him up, there is no romantic tension, no eyes meeting or fleeting touches or little moments that indicate attraction. Sanemi gets totally distracted and lost in his own thoughts of his mother (until Kanae mentions the person there is an actual argument to be made for him having a crush on, Masachika.)

The Light Novel also makes it pretty clear imo that Sanemi has no interest in women at all. Now you could argue he just isn't interested in romance, full stop, but frankly, I think it is more likely that Sanemi just has crushes on boys, not girls.

Now that that's all said and done... You know else gets the "A likes B because they remind them of C" treatment? Giyuu, Sabito and Sanemi! I'll be giving Giyuu and Sabito a whole post of their own soon, so keep an eye out for it if you like <3 :)

So there you have it. Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!

(disclaimer in case it wasn't clear enough: I am not claiming that Sanemi canonically loves Giyuu or Masachika either. I'm just addressing the dynamic crossroads these fan ships too often find themselves in.)

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

Sorry long post incoming,

Sanegiyuu doesn't qualify as a toxic relationship because there's already a foundation of trust and respect between them. Toxic relationships lack that because one or both parties view the other as an object or an idealized concept rather than a person.

Sanemi is the opposite of that. He wants to see the real Giyuu, he's willing to put aside whatever assumptions he had about him in order to develop a closer relationship with him. The only problem is his lack of patience which comes off as aggression. Which isn't really his fault, asides from being through literal shit, he comes from a poor background and had to navigate the world alone without anyone to properly raise him.

There are real people like this, who grew up in hellish places and have developed a tough personality as a result because that was how they could survive. He's rough, but he means well and he's trying which can't be said about a lot of people.

I'm not going to touch on Giyuu because I'm pretty sure that 'sanegiyuu is a toxic ship' OP is putting a lot of the 'toxic' aspects of the ships on Sanemi like a lot of people do. Which is so funny because people always say they support mental health but only when it's palatable, you put up hashtags about supporting people going through hardships and literal wars without even bothering to read up on the lifelong effects it has on them. People like Sanemi are a result of these situations.

Yes Sanemi can be an asshole, and he tried to blind his brother in a misguided attempt to 'save' him, but he's also a (literally) scarred, traumatized boy who was given nothing and lost everything. Just like a lot of people in real life who are beaten down and alone, just trying to make the best with what they've got. The same goes for Giyuu too!

I won't speak for everyone but THAT'S what I see in sanegiyuu; two lonely souls who've been through similar experiences and shared trauma finding each other and making it work despite their emotional hangups and communication handicaps. It's painfully realistic, and so human, and it's a shame you can't see that but oh well.

Sorry for the long post again 🙏

Confession 47.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

If I had anything resembling patience, I would write a Canonverse, Canon Divergent Friends-to-Lovers Ultra slow burn AU where Sanemi and Giyuu met at 13 Years Old and became inseperable.

Alas, patience is no friend of mine, so this one will have to stay in the recurring daydream file of my brain.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

What Do These Three Have In Common?

It's pretty obvious. Sanemi Shinazugawa hates each of them terribly.

Now, I can already hear your protests, because...

Obviously, Sanemi doesn't hate Genya. That's his beloved baby brother! The only reason he does anything, the thing that gets him up each day, the last face he sees before he goes to sleep, his precious!

And Obviously, Sanemi doesn't hate Masachika. That's his (dead) best friend! The one who saved him from living the life of a feral vagabond, catching demons and stringing them up by their toes to burn in the sun. The one who introduced him to a trainer, brought him into the Demon Slayer Corps, and eventually died to save his life!

But Giyuu, yeah, he most definitely hates that guy.

Or does he?

I know many people like to pretend that it is that straightforward, but to do so requires ignoring the complexity of Sanemi's character, because here's the thing: Sanemi has got his wires all kinds of crossed when it comes to love, platonic or otherwise.

All you have to do is look at his canon interactions with Genya (right up until his imminent departure from this mortal coil) to see that Love is not straightforward for Sanemi. It goes without question that Sanemi loves Genya (do you see the love in his eyes in this picture?)

And yet he abandoned him for appr. eight years, rejected him when he eventually came looking and found him, disavowed their relationship entirely, told him he would break him beyond recovery if he didn't back off, and tried to literally blind him. He flat out says he would do anything short of MURDER to stop him. (Don't worry, guys. He did it all out of love.)

Now if you're thinking, Aves, that's a special case. He had his reasons. Genya was an exception. He was treating him with so much apparent hatred because he was trying to protect him! Okay...?

Well, fine. So let's look at Masachika then. We all know that Sanemi cares about Masachika, and loves him like a brother. Yet in the Light Novel story, Signs from the Wind, we see a lot of Sanemi's introspection and interactions with Masachika - his best friend. And it doesn't look like love at a glance.

In just a couple of pages, we see ALL this: He tells him to "Shut up"; says: "Seriously, what is with you? You keep babbling on and on."; He feels 'ready to explode' because Masachika is annoying him; he's visibly irritated; he calls him a "Piece of Garbage" and a "Brainless dolt"; asks "What's his problem?"; he's Sick to death of him, and wonders "what, exactly, he had to do to get Masachika to understand precisely how unwelcome he was."

Can you feel the love, friends?

But we know it's there for Genya. We know it's there for Masachika. Sanemi is just absolute shit at showing the people he cares about that he actually cares about them. Why? Because, in Sanemi's own words: "He was determined to walk this bloody path alone."

It's because he cares that he pretends not to. Sanemi directs anger towards those he loves. He intentionally tries to push them away. The more he cares about them, the worse treatment they get. It's pretty clear why, I think. The first (but less important) reason is self-preservation, even subconsciously. He's lost people he loves before, and he knows how bad it hurts. If he "doesn't love them", then losing them won't hurt so much. The second (and far bigger) is to protect them from that same pain.

Sanemi knows that this life of Demon Slaying ends in an early grave. He can't stomach the guilt of hurting the people he cares about by subjecting them to his own death. He figures that if he treats them like shit, then they'll hate him as much as he pretends to hate them. He can go on fighting, protecting them from a distance. And then, when he inevitably dies, they won't have to mourn him the way they would if they had been friends, brothers, (or some secret third thing.)

Which brings us back to Giyuu Tomioka, Sanemi's beloathed.

Sanemi hates Giyuu. He says so himself in his own words. He only agrees to even try to spend time with Giyuu, begrudgingly, at the request of Master Ubuyashiki. He gets pissed about Giyuu's chilly attitude, and annoyed by his stand-off-ish-ness. When they spar, he suggests that they try to kill one another with their bare hands. It all sounds like hatred to me. Except, for Sanemi, when he hates someone, it often canonically means precisely the opposite is true.

Babes, I won't even try to convince you that Sanemi and Giyuu are actually head-over-heels-in-love with each other, okay? (I mean. They are. But I won't try to convince you) I'm just saying that Sanemi canonically treats the people he cares about most with the least amount of love and affection. So maybe, just maybe, the obvious hatred that he has for Giyuu isn't actually hatred at all.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 💚💙🍃🌊

Unhinged yap

Monthly reminder that THIS is OFFICIAL ART

The Ufotable staff are basically telling us that Sanemi and Giyuu canonically have a thing for each other. I've never seen official art that's as blatant as this-even from anime franchises that have a lot more queer-baiting, like you don't even need to draw an outline and connect the dots, it's RIGHT THERE.

Shout-out to this absolute Queen, who opened my eyes! May her Ws be many and her bitches abundant 🙌

Call me stupid(no, you're stupid!), call me a delusional fujoshi who likes to 'fetishize' gay people (despite being gay herself).

Side note: The belief that people who hc characters as queer are just straight girls who fetishize gay men doesn't make sense because straight people aren't the only ones who watch anime.

Anime has a lot of queer fans and of course they're going to find characters that they love, identify with and ship. So to discredit queer ships as just 'women being fujoshis' is imo homophobia with extra steps with a sprinkle of your basic misogyny ✨

Anyway, If you headcanon these lads as straight, more power to you! If you genuinely believe they're straight that's okay, but to look at stuff like this and call it reaching is just being disingenuous.

Sanemi straight up said he's not interested in women, Giyuu's feelings and recollection of Sabito reads like a widow who lost her beloved husband, Sanemi being a tsundere with Masachika, and that's not even including how Sanemi and Giyuu's interactions read like two exes who broke up due to miscommunication, repressed feelings, and the inability to properly express themselves, the parallels in their stories, the fact that the last image of them is this

They look like a married couple 😭

If you still don't believe with all this evidence, then that's okay. The aim of this post is to tell sngysn shippers that are feeling uneasy because they think they're being delusional or reading into it too much.

You're not delusional, this ship isn't forced, there's so much evidence that I've collected-that I can provide if you want. I've studied Sanemi's chapter in the light novel with annotations and shit, plus both Sanemi and Giyuu's backstories. I'm reading up on Samurai culture and history, I have studied the blade-literally.

Remember their collab scene. They have matching tsubas (handguards)! Look at the whirly pattern for both, the tsuba on Giyuu's katana is the water version of Sanemi's pinwheel tsuba!

So my fellow SNGYSN brethren, let's put aside our differences and arguments on which dynamic is better(it's gysn obvs), if you're queer or straight and feel so strongly about this ship and can or cannot out your finger on why, hell even if you're a casual fan and just really like the characters lots, or even if you just want to piss off a homophobic animebro. Girlies, I gotchu 🙏

Here's my GiyuuSane masterlist which can also apply to SaneGiyuu as well.

Here's my ever expanding folder of gysn official images where they're always put next to each other or in suggestive poses.

You can also get stuff from my discord(shameless plug 👀), I yap a lot about them on there and share my annotations and drabbles and stuff.

Feel free to use it-with credit of course 😊, for the analysis and the discord stuff, you can use the images without the credit since they're not mine.

Also shout-out to the MasaSane and SabiGiyuu shippers! They're our allies, our backbone, our Rohan shall Answer to our Gondor calls for Aid, our Knights of the Vale to our Battle of the Bastards. We need them!!!!

SaneGiyuuSane, SabiGiyuu and MasaSane shippers when the see each other in the wild be like

The only person who can refute me is Gotouge-sensei herself, and even then Id be skeptical-and coughing blood. The 'coincidences' are just too much! So yeah that's I have to say in this post. Yes I'll always make everything about GiyuuSane, they mean everything to me.

And you can try to stop my dancin' feet But I just cannot stand still 'Cause the world keeps spinning 'Round and 'round And my heart's keeping time To the speed of sound I was lost 'til I heard the drums Then I found my way 'Cause you can't stop the beat

Sanemi and Giyuu are gay, they're dumb and they're in love!

Thanks for reading my overly dramatic rambles! 🩷

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

I'm working on a new project with my friend and I'm excited to share it with you! This story is totally outside my usual vibe (No romance!?) But it has been so fun to work on so far! If you like the Shinazugawa brothers and Modern AU, then give it a look! I'd love to hear what you think 💚

...

Chapters: 1/? (We are projecting around ~15)

Relationships: Shinazugawa Genya & Shinazugawa Sanemi (Some fun side characters you'll get to see include Aizetsu, Gyutaro, Douma, Akaza, and of course a handful of Hashira and Kamabokos)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Pit Fighter Genya (Kimetsu no Yaiba), Blood and Injury, Mixed Martial Arts, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst

Summary:

No fighting. Sanemi's words echoed in Genya's mind and some of his excitement soured. The lies he’d been telling felt like stones, weighing heavy on his chest. He hated lying to Sanemi, but he couldn’t tell him about…this. Not yet. . . . To help support his family, Genya finds himself in the world of pit fighting. This lifestyle starts to slowly become more difficult to hide as the signs of his fights become more apparent to his overprotective big brother.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

New One Shot! Angsty because I’ve been deep in my feelings lately. 

Rated T | 3K Genres: Angst, Hurt/Comfort TW: Implied Self-Harm

“Why do you do this to yourself,” Giyu asked once, lying in the dark beside Sanemi, tracing the paths of his scars. He had to ask, because Giyu knew that Sanemi didn't need to handicap demons with his blood to win, yet he did it anyway. Every. Single. Time. No matter how simple his mission was, Sanemi always came back with fresh bandages stained red.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

I know I’ve shared this already, but I FINISHED IT this week so I’m sharing it AGAIN because I am EXCITED. This fic. This fic. It is my love letter to Sanemi Shinazugawa, honestly. It is also my longest project to date (Yay for milestones!) and for both of those reasons, it means a lot to me! My heart is in this story.

A little background for anyone who cares: 

When I was writing this story, there were some driving motivators behind it. 

I wanted to explore Sanemi’s thought processes and his emotions regarding Genya before the Infinity Castle, because Genya was (and is) the most important person in his life. And I know that would impact his healing and any relationship going forward so fundamentally. 

I wanted to let Sanemi really grieve deeply. He needed to go through it. And then I wanted to let him heal. I wanted to give him a realistic path to happiness. I wanted to let him fall in love, because I think love is both healing and happiness. 

I wanted to showcase how Sanemi’s conditioning and his pattern/habit of self-sacrifice that made his relationship with Genya impossible would manifest in the development of a new relationship going forward. 

I wanted to show how falling in love with Giyu wouldn’t overshadow his grief, and would not replace his love for Genya, but compliment it.

I hope I accomplished all that, but I’ll let you be the judge. If you read it, I hope it connects with you!

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA IS THE BEST KNY CHARACTER (TRUST)

and if you disagree that’s fine, i just know you’re wrong. it’s ok. not everyone is emotionally intelligent. not everyone has taste. not everyone can clock a complex character when they see one. i’m patient. i understand.

but let me be clear. y’all love to scream,

“he’s mean!” “he’s aggressive!”

yeah. and??? he’s been through more in one backstory than most of you have in your whole lives and STILL showed up, STILL fought for humanity, STILL protected people who hated him. your favorite would’ve folded in chapter 2. sanemi lost everything and kept getting up. that’s strength. that’s resilience. that’s a real character arc. you want soft and kind? go knit. this is a battlefield.

“he was mean to nezuko” because he watched his demon mother slaughter their entire family. you want him to trust demons on sight? mans was traumatized, not heartless. AND he wanted to apologize. he grew. that’s called development. something half y’all can’t even achieve in real life.

and everyone ignores how much he loves. like LOVES. his love is so intense it hurts. he took on hell so his brother could live a normal life. he hated himself so genya could have someone to blame other than the world. he carried guilt, grief, rage, all of it, just to keep fighting

so yeah. SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA is the best character in kny. not for being perfect, but for being real. for being raw. for making me cry like a baby. if you can’t see that… respectfully, read the manga again. and this time, read it with eyes.

sanemi nation stay winning !! 🤍‼️

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

Glaze him, GLAZE HIMMMMM

<- Sanemi simp posts masterlist

I’m a Sanemi glazer, Idc. Sanemi on mugen train? He would win. Sanemi in the entertainment district? Win. Swordsmith village? EASY. WIN.

Yeah, he’d wipe the floor with everyone. He would be unstoppable, a fucking champ, the dawg himself.

Anyone who disagrees with me has to fite me irl. Any argument is invalid because I’m blindly simping over Sanemi. He’s the goat. Strongest. Sexiest.

Sanemi would defeat Muzan with one arm tied behind his back and his cock inside my pussy.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

I've only been writing fanfiction for [redacted] years, I guess it's about time I finally educate myself on the difference between an en dash and an em dash and when the hell you are actually supposed to use them.

[hello-my-name-is-aves]

Any UzuRen fans out here? This idea has been kicking around my head for a few weeks now, so I stepped out of my Sanegiyuu comfort zone to give another ship dynamic a try. 

You can check out the summary and an excerpt below, or just check it out on AO3 if you like!

Summary: There is a truth Tengen accepted when he got married at the age of fifteen: he does not know, has never known, and will never know what it feels like to fall in love when it happens naturally. But, sitting at dinner with his best friend, sharing food and laughter and caught up in the fire in his gaze, a question burns under Tengen's skin: Why isn't this enough? Friendship and camaraderie with Kyojuro, and the love shared with his wives? Why does he feel like something is missing? Why does he want more?

. . .

“Oh, this one is delicious!”

Kyojuro’s eyes shine like lanterns, and when he turns their vibrant gold-lined ruby light on Tengen, he feels their flame on his skin.

“Tengen, did you try this one?” Kyojuro presses, pushing the dish over.

“Not yet,” Tengen says, and, pinned by Kyojuro’s fire-bright eyes, takes a bite of the proffered dish. A warm bowl of fluffy rice, topped with tender, flaky salmon and crisp vegetables. It is delicious. Savory, but balanced with a sweetness that coats his tongue and lingers. But it is not half as delicious as the delighted expression that spreads across Kyojuro’s face as Tengen grins and nods his approval.

“That one might be my favorite,” Kyojuro declares with a bright laugh, a little too loud for a space this small, barely a dozen steps from one wall to the other, and twice as many front to back. What it lacks in size, it makes up for in quality. The shop’s other patrons look their way as Kyojuro’s laughter fills the room. But then, they’ve been looking their way since they walked in the door. Between Kyojuro’s hair that tumbles like barely controlled flame over his shoulders and Tengen’s height and stature, accented by gold bands and glittering gems, to say they stand out is more than an understatement.

Another bite of yet another dish (one of half a dozen that Kyojuro ordered for them to share) and Kyojuro closes his eyes, tipping his head back and humming deep in his chest with satisfaction. Backlit by low, orange lamplight and wreathed in the haze of steam from the kitchen, Tengen watches his friend as he relishes his meal. His heart skips uncomfortably in his chest, and he realizes that he’s not watching – he’s staring. His face heats, warmth suffusing his cheeks and creeping down his neck. Looking away sharply, he grabs his tea and drinks it fast, too fast – it’s still hot, and he feels it nearly scald his tongue and burn down the back of his throat, all the way to his belly. He doesn’t care. The heat in his throat distracts him from the heat on his skin.  

“I think I’ve changed my mind,” Kyojuro says thoughtfully, oblivious to Tengen’s lapse in focus. He taps his chopsticks together idly. “This one might be my favorite.” He points to the next dish in the line and picks up a second bite. Savors. Then goes for a third.

Tengen pulls in a deep breath to steady himself, exchanges his tea for a sip of water, and takes another bite of the salmon, grounding himself back in the meal before him. Kyojuro picks up yet another bite of the same dish, one that Tengen hasn’t tried yet. It must really be good. With the heat on his tongue and throat cooled, and the flush receded from his cheeks, Tengen smirks and spins his chopsticks. He waits for an opening, then darts his arm out and snags the anago tempura from between Kyojuro’s chopsticks right before it gets to his mouth. With a flick he tosses it into his own mouth and then laughs at the utter bafflement in Kyojuro’s expression – the audacity, that look says, to take a man’s food right out of his hands.

“You’re right,” Tengen agrees, chewing slowly, “That one might be the winner. Especially with the tentsuyu – What did they mix in it, shichimi? The spice gives it that extra…” he lifts his hands, wiggling his fingers to demonstrate the extra he’s referring to.

“Pizzazz!” Kyojuro fills in, bafflement giving way to his enthusiasm.

Tengen snaps, pointing at Kyojuro with a wide smile. “Exactly,” he agrees, “Pizzazz.”

They share a laugh, and it’s easy and warm and comfortable and Tengen wishes he could freeze this moment, capture it like a photo and frame it in his mind. These nights, where there are no demons to kill, no monsters to fight, where it is just him and Kyojuro, good food and good drink, are few and far between, and all the more precious for that.

“Which one do you like best, my friend?” Kyojuro asks curiously.

Tengen folds his arms across his chest and assesses the spread of food at their table, eyes glancing from one dish to the next.

“They’re all excellent,” he finally says with a content sigh, leaning back and lacing his hands behind his head, then adds, “Why pick favorites?”

Kyojuro’s gaze is on the dish before him as he savors another bite. He closes his eyes, his steady smile unwavering, and Tengen again lets himself – intentionally, now, and for just a moment – admire him. The sharp line of his jaw. The soft glow of golden hair against the pale cream of his cheek. The gentle curve of his lips. Kyojuro is not handsome in a traditional sense, maybe. His appearance is a little too eccentric to be considered that. But since the day they met, Tengen found Kyojuro’s peculiarity to be nothing short of dazzling. Kyojuro, of course, has always seemed blissfully unaware of just how captivating he is.

Kyojuro looks up and meets Tengen’s gaze. His easy smile turns knowing. “Spoken like a man with three wives,” he teases.

Tengen swallows hard. Right. Yes. Three wives. Wives he loves deeply, cares for with all his heart, would never ever hurt if he can help it. And all at once, Tengen feels horribly, unforgivably selfish.

Why isn’t it enough?

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