here-are-my-reasons-to-live - Tumblr blog

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Reason 21

A new fine line marker. Things are getting bad again, but the feeling of a new marker gliding across the page is freeing. Every stroke of the pen is like a fresh breath of air. It helps me think. It helps me understand. I can't fix everything, but I can create something new. I have the power to inspire and to make something of myself. New markers are a gift from the gods.

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Hello, I'm looking for research participants for my dissertation on chronic pain. If you have chronic pain and a spare fifteen minutes or so I'd love it if you could check the above survey out.

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Reason 20

Vintage shops,

The kind you can walk into and the atmosphere completely envelopes you, even before you actually observe any of the items.

The kind with hand painted portraits, the brush strokes of the artists still visible.

The kind with faded photos and tattered clothing. The objects clearly deteriorating as the time inches past.

The types of stores that carry wares that you feel in your bones. The knowledge and wisdom that the products tend to hold is palpable.

Every item in the store has a story. That doll on the shelf? It once belonged to an Irish immigrant and the dress was hand sewn. That painting propped against the shelf? It was painted in the late 18th century by an ailing old woman while her grandchildren watched. The vinyl records in the box used to be placed on the mantel of a living room, it was the heart of the house.

The deep feeling of importance that rolls off the objects in waves. It's reassuring. These objects are so old, and they've lasted so long. They were tenderly cared for because they were precious and treasured.

It almost feels like there are parts of the owners that stay behind. And that thought is so reassuring.

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

incase it wasn’t clear - i am and my blog is anti-terf 👍

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Reason 19... I think

Drinking french pressed coffee and watching the family of Northern Cardinals try and get my attention through the window. They really want me to refill the bird feeder, and they aren't afraid to tell me.

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Hello please reblog this if you're okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Reason 18

Papilio cresphontes trying to fly into my window to get to the mint on my windowsill... I was having a rough day but damn, I'm better now

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

This is extremely important to remember!!!

If you're mentally ill, chronically ill or otherwise disabled, do yourself a favor and consciously work to dismantle the "if you're too sick to go to work you're also too sick to be on the computer" mindset which got drilled into most of us during childhood. You don't have to deny yourself joy. You don't have to directly or indirectly punish yourself for not being able to do certain things. It doesn't help anyone. All it does is make you even more miserable than you have to be. So make sure you don't punish yourself for being sick. Make sure you don't subconsciously sabotage yourself with the idea that you have to be punished for not being abled. Make sure you embrace the joy you can find instead of denying yourself out of unnecessary guilt.

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

reminder to:

straighten your back

go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT

go take your meds if you need to

drink some water

go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while

maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)

reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about

maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

REBLOG IF IT IS OKAY TO COME INTO YOUR INBOX AND SAY THE RANDOMEST SHIT I CAN THINK OF BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU.

This is actually encouraged and wanted please do

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

I'm not going to list this as one of my reasons. I want to do so but I need to be able to see myself achieving the amount of gentle peace and grace this man has.

This is just so inspiring. The idea of living without fear, without drowning in regret, with precious moments to admire and look back on. The calm way he talks about his experiences and the fondness in his voice when he talks about his family... I want to be able to achieve that one day.

I want to be able to be that brave when I'm older. I want to be able to say in confidence that I'm not afraid of death. I want to be so steady in my life that the thought of seeing a hummingbird fly for the first time is one of the first things that comes to mind when asked what I'd like to do again.

I want to be that happy

Are you scared of death? Anderson Cooper interviewing David Attenborough.

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Well, let's hope I can follow these instructions better than the ones included in the "build your own birdhouse" set that I bought.

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Reason 17

Smoothies.

This is a weird one but hear me out. You can blend pretty much anything and any combination! It's easy to clean up, it's easy to make, and it's easy to eat!! They're perfect for low energy days when I don't want to get up but I know I should eat.

Plus they taste good

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Hi~

First off, I wanna apologize in advance if I come off as insensitive/uneducated. I assure you, it's nothing but genuine curiosity that inspired this ask. Secondly, I don't have chronic pain. (What I might have is a hypersensitivity to discomfort - not that it's comparable even.)

So I find it comfortable to prop the front half of my torso with a pillow (idk, is that a thing?) And then I suddenly thought of a pillow design: kinda like one of those pool floaties, a ring, with pillow-stuff supporting you from all round, and maybe a drawsting at the top and the bottom so that it doesn't slip down.

Does it make sense?

Ps: I'm sorry if I somehow offended you.

Pps: your story with your backbrace moved me, although I can't relate to the experience, it moved me.

Hello!!

I'm so glad you reached out and that my story moved you! And I can assure you you are not offensive at all, you are super sweet and thoughtful!

Honestly a pillow like that probably would have helped a lot. It's a genius idea!! I used to struggle with sleeping because I had to sleep in the brace, and then once I didn't have to wear it anymore, It felt weird to sleep without any support or padding. A pillow like that probably would have saved many hours of sleep. Plus for people with other issues like muscle fatigue or weakness it'd be helpful as well. Even in the past week it probably would have helped quite a bit with my recovery. (You might have a fun business opportunity right there!! I know plenty of able-bodied people who would use it as well.)

Thank you so much for the suggestion! You should never feel like you have to apologize to me for reaching out! I appreciate it so much! I wish more people would reach out like this! I know plenty of people who were so scared of offending me that they didn't talk about it at all. I prefer to spread information and talk to people rather than try and hide it!!!

Thank you!!!

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Reason 16

Iron Man movies.

I used to watch them with my mother every time we did our nails. They're a comfort thing for me I guess

[here-are-my-reasons-to-live]

Number 15

Just wanted to update everyone, I'm out of surgery and doing well! I'm up and walking and the surgeons have been so very kind.

I know the whole "don't talk about yourself on the internet" rule, but I hope that my story can help inspire others to be kind and considerate. I never want anyone else to go through what I did.

This one is pretty long, you do not have to read it all. The last paragraph is the most important.

I was diagnosed with Scoliosis back in the summer of 2017. I had just moved back to my small conservative hometown in the middle of Texas, but before that I'd lived in Las Vegas, Nevada for almost 8 years. I bet you could guess there was a bit of a culture shock there.

Since I was new, I had to have a full physical to join the rest of the students in 7th grade. It was the doctor there that gave me the initial diagnoses.

For those of you who don't know, Scoliosis is a deformation of the vertebrae and spine. You can be born with it or it can appear suddenly.

I was not born with it. We still have no idea what caused it either. I'm pretty sure I had had it for a while, because I had struggled with migraines and back pain since I was in 3rd grade. But no one had believed me, at the time. It took 4 years of pain before I even got the diagnosis.

It took months to get an x-ray scheduled and it was almost a two hour drive to get to the specialist. I was told there that I had two curves; one up near my shoulder, and one down near my hips. Both of the curves were severe enough that I was immediately warned about a possible need surgery and was prescribed a back brace.

The back brace was probably one of the most painful things in my life, both emotionally and physically. The brace was tight and restricted most of my movement. I had to wear undergarments, an undershirt, the brace itself and an over-shirt everyday in the middle of Texas. 18 hours a day too. It would have been decent enough to real with if not for my peers. They would go out of their way to mock how I leaned or the way that I stood. I couldn't wear jeans for a while because the metal would leave bruises in my skin from where the brace but the most pressure, and my classmates loved to point that out.

Some of my most vivid memories are from my classmates making fun of me. Like;

When the school nurse had to chack everyone in the school for it, since it is a quite common condition. The whole class turned to my and snickered. "I bet we'd know if we were freaks like them,"! They told me. The jokes lasted for weeks.

When some kids figured out which desk was mine for 4th period and placed several pieces of gum on the exact side of the chair that the side of my brace hung off of.

This one athletic dude in my class asked if I was too poor to get the surgery or if I just preferred looking like a freak. His family was rich too the point where he and his 6 siblings could afford to go to any school they wanted, not including the price of their house and yacht.

A bit of explanation is needed for this one; I used to stand with one foot pressed against the opposite knee so that some of the pressure from the foam was off my back. The foam would make it difficult to breathe sometimes so I would also move the chest plate forward every once in a while so that I could breathe. This wasn't usually a problem unless I had been standing still for a while. I had been standing for 30 minutes, way longer than what was comfortable for me. One of the guys in my class notice how I was standing, and moved to stand behind me. He spent the next 15 minutes pretending to 'subtly' copy my movements and eventually the whole class was laughing at me.

I was told in June 2019 that I no longer had to wear the brace. It had been ineffective and the curves were both already over 50°. I also was made aware that we were moving to a bigger city and when I tell you that I had never been so happy to move in my life, I mean it from the bottom of my soul.

I managed to make it through 9th and 10th grade. At that point my back hurt badly enough that I had to use a rolling backpack most days. My school does not have lockers, so this is where the bullying got worse. I'm not going to go into detail with these.

People went out of their way to kick my bag. Several of my pride pins on my bag were broken or destroyed entirely. Eventually it got to the point where my friends would carry my bag for me, because people were starting to damage the expensive art supplies that I wasn't always able to hold separately.

People would stare at my uneven shoulders and whisper.

I have a non-binary pin on my bag, and with my comfy clothes I guess I confuse people. Several freshman have decided to entertain themselves by throwing slurs at my partner and I. It got so bad that I moved it off my backpack to my purse.

I'd like to continue this later if any of you are interested. Mostly I just wanted to thank anyone who is kind unconditionally. I want to thank those who stop bullying or teasing. I want to thank the people who would stop and wait patiently outside a public restroom stall because they can hear a child in there crying, and struggling to put on a brace by themselves for the first time. I want to thank the old lady at the Farmers Market when I was in 8th grade, she not only watched my brace and bag because it was 90°F and she could tell that I was missing hanging out with my friends, but helped me make sure that my shirt wasn't caught on the Velcro before I left. I want to thank my friends who defended me when someone would talk about me behind my back, and who were always there to assure me that I was still desirable and loved even if I didn't think I was worth it

To all of the people who helped me, who inspired me, and you cared for me. I owe you all everything. Thank you so much.