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The ICYMI reblog - Chapter Two is up!

Fine is a Four-Letter Word (Chapter Two)

Summary: This is Part Twenty-Two of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz/Original Female Character, Will Halstead/Connor Rhodes, Assorted OC Couples

Warnings: Injury Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, Team as Family, Road Trip, Kissing, Romance, Mild Sexual Content, Swearing, Eventual Happy Ending

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Kira

The morning sun was just starting to peek through the clouds when Kira flopped down on a chair, resting her elbows on the cafeteria table.

She’d basically been living in the hospital for two—no, three, it was Tuesday, three days now—and she was definitely over the food. Malia and Devon and Isaac had been in and out while she spelled off with Sam and they’d brought meals when they could, but sometimes she was on her own. Like now.

She stared down at the sad looking breakfast burrito.

Really on her own.

Back when she’d agreed to be one of Emery’s emergency contacts, she never thought something like this would happen. Or that Bex would be hurt at the same time. Kira thought that they’d be facing whatever happened together.

Not that she’d be talking with doctors alone, trying to understand what the hell they were saying and praying that the treatments she was agreeing to were actually the best way to go.

Thank god for Connor. Right now, he was spending most of his time with Will—understandably so—but he still made time to check in. To explain things properly. To keep an eye on Emery.

And she’d had a chance to visit with Bex yesterday which helped a bit.

Although Bex had looked like shit and was trying to pretend she didn’t feel even worse. Kira had wanted to tell her everything about how things had been going with Emery and get her thoughts and lean on each other like they were supposed to, but after one look at her, she just…couldn’t.

Bex needed to focus on her own healing right now.

And Kira…she only had to focus on not letting one of her best friends die.

No problem.

“Well, that’s not a ringing endorsement for today’s breakfast burritos.”

Kira’s head jerked up at the sound and she started at the sight of an older gentleman in a white lab coat standing beside her table. “Sorry? I—what?”

“You seem a little upset,” he said, offering her a napkin. He gestured at his own face after she took it, making a wiping motion when she just held the napkin in her hand and stared at it.

She reached up, surprised to find her cheek was wet with tears. “Oh. Um. Thank you.” She wiped at her face and tried to ignore the twinge of embarrassment in her gut at being caught crying over her breakfast in the hospital cafeteria.

“Mind if I sit?” The gentleman asked, barely waiting for her nod before pulling out the seat across from her. “I’m Daniel Charles,” he said. “I work here with Bex’s brother, Will…you’re one of her friends, right?

“Yeah, uh—” Kira gave her head a shake and offered her hand. “Kira Cole. Nice to meet you.”

Daniel shook her hand with a little smile before sitting back and taking a sip of his coffee. “Your other friend,” he began, gazing at her over the rim of his cup. “How’s she doing?”

The sigh slipped out before she could stop it. “Better? I think? They’re talking about bringing her out of the coma today,” Kira said, all of the facts and scenarios and possibilities Connor laid out for her still running through her brain. “They pull back on the medication and then we wait and see.” Kira scoffed. “I’m starting to hate that phrase now. It’s all people keep saying to me. Wait and see, we have to wait and see—like, that’s my only option, to stay here and watch and wait to see if one of my best friends—my family—to-to-to see if she’s going to die. ‘Cause…that’s a normal thing to do.”

She caught herself then, horrified at how she’d just word-vomited her stress all over a stranger.

“Right, uh, sorry about that,” Kira huffed out a laugh as she poked at the edges of her burrito. “Short answer is, hopefully better. Soon.”

“It’s not easy,” Daniel said. “Being the person who waits.”

Kira felt tears prick her eyes again and all she could do was shake her head.

“It might feel like an exercise in futility,” he continued. “But it’s the furthest thing from that. It’s about having hope, Kira, and that kind of hope—that kind of love? It needs a lot of fuel. Your friend…”

“Emery,” Kira whispered.

“Emery.” Daniel nodded. “When she wakes up later, I don’t want to have to explain to her why we let you eat that sad looking burrito. That’s no way to get through the day.” He side-eyed it, making her laugh again.

“Across the street though, there’s this bakery,” he said, getting a kid-sneaking-a-cookie little grin on his face. “Has cheese croissants that melt in your mouth and cinnamon buns as big as your face. Coffee’s nothing to sneeze at either.” Daniel stood up and jerked his head toward the exit. “What do you say? It’s on me…”

On any other day, she’d be way more stranger danger about this whole thing, but she’d heard Bex talk about Dr. Charles before and if she was being completely honest—she was too tired to be anything else—he had a real parental vibe that she was seriously in need of at the moment.

“Yeah, okay,” Kira said, standing up to join him. “I’m in.”

That earned her a mega-watt smile and he ushered her forward. “You’re in for a treat,” he said. “I’m serious. Big as your face!”

Kira laughed and for the first time since Friday, felt the tiniest bit lighter.

***

Otis

“Otis…” Joe stared down at the plate in front of him. “What is this?”

“Scrambled eggs,” Otis shot back as he glopped another pile onto a plate and handed it over to Brett. She took it without a word, eyes going wide as she held it at arm’s length all the way back to the table.

Severide peered into the pan. “Are we one hundred percent sure on that?”

Otis slammed the spatula on the counter, levelling a glare at him. “Nobody said you had to eat it, Severide,” he snapped. “Toaster’s over there.”

“Alright, relax, man.” Severide raised his hands in front of him, backing away. “Careful there, Casey. He’s cranky today.”

Casey ignored him and came around to stand beside Otis at the stove. “What’s going on?” he asked quietly. “This is going a bit beyond your usual ‘I hate doing the cooking’ routine.”

“I just—” Otis sighed. “I hate feeling so useless.”

“Useless?” Casey raised an eyebrow. “At your job as a fireman where we regularly go out and save people’s lives?”

“You know what I mean,” Otis moaned. “I genuinely don’t,” Casey said. “But I’m trying to. Talk to me, Otis.”

“It’s this whole thing with Bex and-and Emery and Will,” he said, trying to find the words to explain. The whole break room quieted down as everyone listened in. “I wish that there was something we could actually do to help them, you know? There’s nothing to fix. I need something we can fix. I just—” Otis cut himself off with another sigh. “It’s stupid. I’m sorry, Ignore me. I’ll, uh…I’ll make a new batch of eggs. Please don’t eat those.”

“Too late,” Capp announced cheerfully. “I kind of like them. I ate Tony’s too.”

Shay shoved her plate in his direction and then turned back to face the rest of them. “You know…there might actually be something we could fix. If they let us.”

“Yeah?” Casey leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed. “What are you thinking?”

“Emery’s place was—well, it was pretty much trashed after what happened,” Shay said and Brett nodded solemnly. “If we’re allowed, it could be nice if we went in and cleaned it up before she’s out of the hospital? Give her a proper place to come home to when she’s ready?”

“It would probably make Bex feel better too,” Joe said. “Knowing that Emery wouldn’t have to deal with any of it?”

Casey and Severide looked at each other for a moment before coming to some kind of silent agreement and nodding. “I’ll make some calls,” Casey said. “If I can get it cleared, we can head over after shift. Anyone who wants to help out is welcome.”

Otis flashed him a grateful smile and Casey clapped a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t take it out on the poor eggs next time, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Otis rolled his eyes as he scraped out the pan. “Okay. Who’s ready for round two? No, not—Capp, you’ve had at least three breakfasts already, dude.”

“Bet you five bucks I can do six.”

***

Mouse

Mouse squinted at his phone, trying to make sense of the notification he just received.

CINDY added you to the chat ‘Secret Squirrel Chat’

That was…hm.

Questions.

He had a lot of questions.

MOUSE: Hi?

CINDY: Hi, Mouse! Welcome to our chat!

MOUSE: Our?

CONNOR: Hi

CINDY: It’s our secret in-laws chat

Mouse’s brain blue-screened for a moment.

CINDY: Relax. Breathe. I use the term loosely.

CINDY: It’s just a space for us to chat and plot as needed. I’ve been meaning to add you, but figured I should REALLY add you now considering everything that’s going on.

CINDY: So. How’s everyone doing today?

CONNOR: Will developed a fever and he started another bleed so he’s off getting some scans and bloodwork done. Waiting to find out if they need to go back in.

'Go back in' meaning another surgery, Mouse was guessing. He grimaced at the thought of telling Bex about that bit of news.

CONNOR: They’re going to try and bring Emery out of her coma this afternoon.

MOUSE: That's good, right?

He had his fingers crossed for something good to counteract the Will news.

CONNOR: Hopefully. There's a lot of variables at play. They might have to put her back under if it causes distress. It's kind of a wait and see situation.

CONNOR: If Will's okay to be left, I'll be headed up there so I'll try and keep you posted.

CINDY: And how are YOU, Connor?

Three little dots appeared and disappeared for a solid half a minute before Connor’s reply finally popped up.

CONNOR: Worried, but okay.

CINDY: I'll be by later to spell you off. No arguing.

CINDY: How’s it going over there, Mouse?

Oh. Okay. He thought for a moment before he started typing, not quite sure what to share.

MOUSE: Bit of a rough night.

Connor already knew that though.

Mouse thought back to Bex waking them up at 2 am with a piercing scream and then them trying to wake her up without aggravating her injuries. She’d been so out of it, even after she’d opened her eyes, grasping at them, asking if they were okay—

If this was real.

Jay called Connor so he could reassure her that he and Will and Emery were all still alive. It wasn’t until after that call that she finally seemed to be fully awake and refused when Jay offered to call Chris as well.

They’d ended up camping out her room; Jay setting up a little nest on the floor and Mouse dragging the arm chair she had in there over to beside the bed so he could stay close without jostling her. None of them slept much. Not with Bex still jolting awake every so often and Mouse and Jay’s eyes flying open every time she even twitched.

And now this morning…

MOUSE: Bex is still feeling sick. It’s hard to find stuff she can handle eating.

He was currently in the kitchen, making her some toast and cutting up an apple. Anything to make sure she could take her meds.

MOUSE: She’s still in a lot of pain, but Jay brought her his ribs pillow.

CINDY: His WHAT?

MOUSE: He’s got this pillow that he uses when he’s got hurt ribs. Hugging it makes them feel better so he’s loaned it to Bex. She says it’s helping.

CINDY: That’s great. I’m just stuck on the fact that he’s got a designated pillow for it. #HalsteadProblems

Mouse blinked at his phone. He definitely hadn’t had enough sleep to deal with this.

CONNOR: Glad to hear Bex is using a pillow. That’ll help. Now. How are YOU, Cindy?

CINDY: My parents have the kids today and Chris made me promise to rest, but I’m still worried about everyone so you have to keep me updated! Use the chat!!!

CONNOR: We will if you keep your promise to rest.

MOUSE: Go put your feet up.

CINDY: I’ve been horizontal this whole time.

CINDY: PS Chris is making the rounds this morning so…incoming. :D

Right on cue, there was a knock on the door of the apartment and the sound of Jay and Chris talking shortly after that.

MOUSE: He’s already here.

CONNOR: 😂

CONNOR: On that note…

CINDY: Updates! Don’t forget!

Mouse and Connor signed off the chat after reassuring Cindy once more that they’d keep on top of sending her updates. He pocketed his phone and sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. He didn’t want to add to the stress that Connor and Cindy were already carrying, but part of him wanted to dive back into the chat and ask for more.

For more advice about what to do next. For reassurance that he and Jay weren’t completely screwing up here. Were they being selfish? Thinking that they could help and not just…add more hurt.

No. Mouse picked up the tray of food.

They could do this.

It had been a rough night, but they’d made it through. He could hear Chuck’s voice in his brain telling him to take it all one step at a time. They could do that, right?

He stood in the middle of the kitchen for a moment before blinking and shaking his head. “Why am I waiting for someone to answer me?”

He seriously needed a nap.

***

Bex

“I told you, I'm not hungry, Mouse,” Bex called out when a knock sounded at her bedroom door.

It cracked open anyway. “You still gotta eat,” Chris said, poking his head through the gap. “Don’t make me send Cindy over here.”

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Bex struggled to get herself a little more upright on her pillow pile, ignoring the shooting pains in her side. “Is everyone okay?”

“I said I was gonna check in,” he said, pulling the door close to him and not actually making his way into the room. “And I, uh, I may have brought you a visitor…”

A flash of irritation went through her. She’d told him she wasn’t ready to see the kids. No one was listening to her about anything. “Chris—” Bex’s sigh was cut off by a very familiar whine. “Kol?”

An excited bark followed by an ‘oof’ from Chris as he was pushed out of the way when Kol bounded into the room.

“Wait, Kol,” Chris called out and Kol froze just as he was about to leap onto the bed. “Remember what we talked about.”

Kol let out a plaintive little ‘aroooo’ as he looked back and forth between Chris at the door and Bex on the bed. Chris shook a firm finger at him. “You have to be gentle.”

Bex had to hold back a giggle as Kol snorted and huffed at Chris before hopping up onto the arm chair and then placing one very delicate paw onto her bed and then the other. He whined again as he got closer, tilting his head as he looked her over.

“Hey, boy.” Bex held out her good hand and he sniffed it all over before letting her pet his head. “I missed you,” she said. “Did you miss me?” He huffed again, licking her hand once and then tucking himself in beside her and snuggling in.

“He was going a little nuts at our place so I thought we could try out a visit since I was stopping by anyway,” Chris said, coming in and plopping down into the chair. He passed over a handful of papers. “Brought you presents from the kiddos. They made you some get well cards and pictures. Will and Emery too.”

“Aw, that’s—that’s really sweet.” Bex looked over the pages and pages of pictures and little notes from her nephews and niece.

“They were upset about not being able to see you yet—” He held up a hand, cutting off the argument that was ready to burst off of her tongue. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I get it, okay? I’m just explaining why you’re probably going to have enough artwork to repaper this room by the end of the week. Sending you stuff made them feel better.”

“Please tell them I said thank you,” Bex said, smiling a bit at the pages from Max. He was writing her some kind of get well story and had sent her the first chapter already. Then the next drawing caught her eye. “Uh…did you see this one?”

Chris leaned over to peer at it and groaned. “Yeah, Annabelle didn’t really get our explanation of what happened. Cindy’s on it.”

“Is this—is this me?” Bex tilted the drawing, marvelling at the amount of red. “And am I holding Ty’s head?”

“She’s very proud of you,” Chris said, a weary smile tugging at his lips as he shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s definitely going on the wall.” She passed them back to Chris and he set the pile on her side table.

He turned back, setting his feet up on the edge of the bed and levelling a look at her. “Heard you had a rough night,” he said.

“It wasn't that bad. I think it's just the medication messing with my dreams,” Bex said and he narrowed his gaze at her blatant lie. Whatever. She was exhausted and she didn’t feel like getting into it right now.

Chris opened his mouth, probably gearing up to push the issue, but there was another knock and then Mouse coming in with a tray full of toast and fruit while Jay lingered in the hall behind him. “Alright, kiddo.” Chris slapped his hands on his knees. “I gotta talk to the boys so you focus on eating that—and I mean all of that—and I’ll come say bye before I go.”

“What do you have to talk about?” Bex tried to crane around Mouse who was settling the tray in her lap and aim a proper glare at Chris. “If something’s going on—”

“We’re just talking about schedules and boring crap like that,” Chris said, eyes darting off to the side so she knew he was fibbing and something clearly was going on. Something they wanted to keep her out of.

Well, that was bullshit.

Bex stared at Chris as she picked up a piece of toast and bit into it with a smile. “Sounds good.”

She waited a solid ten seconds after they had left her room and poked at Kol. “Kol,” she whispered and his head popped up. “You want treats?” Bex fed him a small piece of toast, smiling as his tail went crazy. “Good boy. Okay, you’ll get more in a second, but first you have to help me out.”

“Awoof.”

“Quietly.”

Kol boofed at her softly and she patted his head. “Open the door for me, Kol,” she said, nudging him toward the edge of the bed. “Just a little bit. And remember—quiet.”

He shuffled off the bed onto the chair and then down to the floor, hardly making a sound.

“Good boy,” Bex whispered as she watched him carefully make his way across the floor. Once he reached the door, he got up on his hind legs and grabbed the door handle in his mouth, gently pulling it down.

The door popped open. Bex and Kol froze, listening. The conversation in the living room didn’t pause and Bex had to hold herself back from cheering. Success!

“Okay, come here,” she whispered to Kol. He snuck his way back to his spot beside her on the bed and snuggled in. Bex fed him the rest of the toast and her apple slices as she strained to listen in on what was happening down the hall.

Something about Will…he had a fever? And he'd started bleeding again? That was—that didn’t sound good at all. What were they doing about it? Would he need more surgery? She had so many questions. Shoving the tray aside, Bex leaned further toward the door, wincing at the pain in her side. Now they were talking about Emery.

They were going to try and bring her out of her coma today?

Bex bit back a gasp. Frustrated tears sprang into her eyes and she scrubbed them away. She should have been told about all of this—someone should have—she should be there.

Ugh, she hated this. Hated not having her phone to keep in touch with Connor and Kira and everyone. Hated being kept out of the loop. For what? Her own good? Because she couldn’t handle it?

Bex had been handling everything life could throw at her since she was six.

This, for the record once again, total bullshit would not stand.

The sounds of the living room conversation started to slow and Bex returned to her spot on her pillow pile as quickly and as quietly as she could. She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.

Two could play at deceivery…no…deception-ness? De—ugh, her stupid, tired brain. Two could play at BEING A LIAR.

Her door creaked open and she heard a low huff from the doorway. “Bex?” Chris called out softly. She snuffled and turned into her pillow a little more.

“She’s asleep,” he whispered. “Looks like she ate everything though.”

“Oh, good,” Jay whispered back. “Finally.”

“Kol looks like he’s behaving so I’ll leave him here for now,” Chris said quietly. “I think he cheered her up a bit.”

“Keep us posted, okay?” Jay asked, his voice getting fainter as they walked back down the hall.

Bex waited, hearing the click of the front door closing, the murmur of Jay and Mouse talking to each other, and then the whoosh of water as the shower went on.

Okay, one of them was definitely occupied in the bathroom for the next few minutes so now was probably her best chance.

She braced herself, biting her lip against the pain as she got out of bed. Kol’s head popped up and she shushed him when he whined at her. “Stay here, okay?”

Shuffling as quietly as she could down the hall, Bex risked a peek into the living room.

Empty.

There was a clang from the kitchen and the sound of water sloshing as Mouse washed the dishes. Perfect. She sped up her shuffle walk as much as she could, snatching a hoodie off the back of the couch and grabbing her bag off the hook. Holding her breath, she opened the door—

Clink of dishes.

Shower still running.

No one noticing a thing.

Bex exhaled slowly as she slipped out into the hall, pulling the door shut behind her. Step one complete. Now she just had to figure out how to get to the hospital. Driving was out of the question, but once she was outside, she could try and hail a cab? Or call an Uber? Was her phone even in her bag?

She started up her shuffle again, making her way to the elevator. Screw it. She’d walk the whole way there if she had to.

A flurry of barks had her jolting, clutching at her side as it throbbed in pain at the movement. Kol. “I can’t believe he’s freaking tattling on me,” she grumbled to herself. Maybe she could at least get inside the elevator before—

The door of the apartment opened. “Bex?”

—before that happened.

“Bex!” Mouse called out, voice high and frantic. “Where are you going? What’s wrong?”

Jay came stumbling out after him, a pair of sweats clearly hastily yanked on and getting slowly soaked by the water dripping steadily down from his hair. “Kol, stay—stay! Mouse? Where’s—what the hell, Bex?”

She leaned against the wall, turning to glare at them as they rushed over. “No, you what the hell? Were you even going to tell me about Will and Emery?” She scoffed at the look they exchanged. “Unbelievable.”

“We were going to,” Mouse began.

“But you need to rest too,” Jay cut in. “We all knew—”

Mouse coughed.

Jay sighed. “Chris and I knew exactly what would happen if we told you everything right away, which was this by the way—you tearing off to go see them—and I'm sorry, Bex, but you’re not up to going back to the hospital right now.”

Bex straightened up carefully, willing back the pain so she could stare him down. “Fucking watch me.”

“You’re not even wearing shoes!” Jay exclaimed, flinging water everywhere as he gestured at her feet.

Bex looked down and blinked at her—hm.

Yup, those were her socks.

A bang had her head snapping back up—ow—and Jay and Mouse whipping around to look at the apartment door which was now very much closed.

Jay tried the handle, cursing when it wouldn’t budge.

Kol barked joyfully from the other side and Bex took back everything she said about him tattling. He really was the best boy. She settled against the wall again and watched as Mouse searched his pockets, shaking his head at Jay who hadn’t stopped cursing.

Bex cleared her throat, getting their attention. “I may have forgotten my shoes, but I’ll give you one guess as to what I didn’t forget,” she said, patting her bag and smiling as her keys jingled inside. “Let’s negotiate, shall we?”

Click here to read Fine is a Four-Letter Word on ao3:

And here is the tag list (let me know if you wish to be added or removed):

@sorry-i-spaced, @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived, @thewannabewriter, @lexhalstead3

@foxes-and-cats, @sensitivemallysix, @emme-looou, @thebejeweledwatercat

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