highonyogurt

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when you’re a gay lion and you accidentally tried to introduce your lesbian lioness friend to one of her own exes at a gay bar and she goes into the bathroom and bitches you out for not being able to tell her endlessly rotating cast of girlfriends apart which isn’t really fair because first of all they all keep dyeing their hair different colors and second of all she keeps getting back together with different ones at different times and meanwhile you’ve been “single” for like 8 months but are spending a lot of time with one specific guy who works at your old co-op and were going to excitedly tell her about it tonight but now you’ve ruined the whole subject of dating by trying to introduce her to her own ex at a gay bar (which is a watering hole. because you’re lions.) 

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taming an army of bees so i can fly

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today is the day i finally kill love

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damn this one kinda hurt

So many people cry on Valentine’s Day like It’s the only day no one loves them.

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i wish i was as hot as the brown m&m

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why are straight people so much gayer than actual gay people

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*sigh* oh how i wish i could marry a cold dairy queen grilled cheese

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My worst fear is I die in a car crash listening to the radio and the song that's on when they find my body is fucking Yummy by Justin Bieber and they tell my family I was a Belieber and at my funeral they play Justin Bieber songs and there's a Justin Bieber cutout next to my casket and my family forever remembers me as a closeted Belieber and I'm dead so I can't correct them.

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One of my favorite parts of bubbline is you got this pink princess literally MADE of candy and then an emo/punk rock vampire queen who’s father is the king of basically hell and the candy one has committed many war crimes and various atrocities and the vampire gets emotional over her teddy bear

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im gonna write a mordetwi fan fiction. i will make it long and emotional, i will develop the characters, i will make everyone proud.

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goots

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this guidebook from 1831 says the water from the seine is good but “has a laxative quality”…girl that is the cholera

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pussy so tight it crack dicks like crab legs

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w h a t

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YOU HAVE TERRIBLE FASHION SENSE was written in blood

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thanks amazon ads for showing me this dick shirt