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[hobixboo]

*ahem* 😶

Hi ?

[hobixboo]

💕 hope

[hobixboo]

kpop multi rant

There is nothing wrong with being a kpop multi.

This isn't really a big deal but it has been pissing me off for months and even more so over the past few days.

It's obvious but I stan BTS and Seventeen. I'm not gonna have some rando on twitter dot com tell me about my "loyalty" to a group or the "priorities" I should have.

If I get one vote on MY account, I am a person that can make decisions on my own about who to vote for. When I had two I was able to vote for both. Seeing as BTS was already winning and thinking that SVT also deserves to be top 10 (honestly deserved higher) I am going to vote for whoever the fuck I want to make that even. That is in no way putting BTS down because I would have jumped to vote for BTS if the roles were somehow reversed. Even in the end, BTS got the award they DESERVED as a top spot AND I am still proud that Seventeen made top 10. Of course, I am disappointed with where they placed, but they still placed. What I'm not gonna do is say BTS didn't deserve their award. THAT is the mistake people make in calling out "multis". If you think anyone that you stan should have won something INSTEAD of the other or if award shows are boring because the same people are winning, don't call yourself a multi making all of us look bad. If you wanted to win, you should have voted. If you think it's boring and the person that won shouldn't have then you are not a part of that fandom and it's as simple as that.

As an armycarat I know the shit that both groups go through on a daily basis but each separate fandom doesn't. The fandoms continuously talk shit about the group instead of what the other fandom is doing and the ignorance is what pisses me off. Enough of this he said she said bullshit and focus on the group. They are some of the most talented men who make the best music, have the best stages, have great personalities, are super funny, and good-looking and are probably friends IRL. Don't insult another GROUP because you let troll user yoongistoes or shuasnips get to you. (especially since they might see it....!!). I don't stan pledis or bighit or army or carats. I stan BTSVT.

[hobixboo]

[hobixboo]

“Nothing is permanent in this life, including your pain. One day, it shall pass too.”

— 10/13/20, anastasiasyah (via anastasiasyah)

[hobixboo]

“No matter how useless you think you are, you will always be someones reason to smile.”

— Unknown

[hobixboo]

n a m j o o n.

[hobixboo]

Autumn Leaves Appreciation

PREFACE

There are four themes for this month’s Words By Bangtan: Self-fulfilment, Memories, Festival, and Victory. Once again, while I am sure there are plenty of other words spoken and/or sung by Bangtan that conveys this message, I am going to be focusing on the song “Autumn Leaves (Dead Leaves)” from their 2015 album The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, Part 2. This is just a paper expressing my appreciation for the themes and messages in the song, and so if my thoughts and connection seem confusing, I apologize. As before, I will try to stay as formal as possible and if anyone has any challenges to what I am going to say in this paper, please reach out to me.

Kennedy (Ken)

@hobixboo

Autumn Leaves is a song produced by SUGA (and Slow Rabbit) and was released in their 2015 EP, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Part 2. It could be that the most beautiful moment in life is youth since the album is a part of the Youth Trilogy, but it is also possible that the most beautiful moment in life can happen at any moment, even in the present (a very important theme to be talked about in this paper). My mention of SUGA being the producer of this song is important to the meaning of the song, whether intentional or not, the connection still exists.

Min Yoongi was born on March 9th which makes his birth flower a larch. In RUN BTS episode 99, when talking about Yoongi’s birth flower, the larch, they obviously bring up that it reminds them of the song “Autumn Leaves/ Dead Leaves” (00:06:01). At first, I was confused as to why they brought up the song Autumn Leaves. Since I don’t know Korean, I thought it was just because Larches are deciduous conifers; plants that normally shed in Autumn. It was not just because larches are literally “autumn leaves” but because in Korean “Larch” translates to 낙엽송. 낙엽, meaning falling leaves (which happens during autumn), and 송 which is konglish for “song”. The joke seems to be that it was fate for Yoongi to make a song about dry, autumn, falling leaves. According to Genius’ title description of the song “the actual title, “고엽 ” (ko-yeop), literally meaning dry dead leaves, is not a commonly used word. It sounds very formal, and very gloomy, and reminiscent of few dry brown dead leaves remaining at the end of autumn”. The term reminiscent was used so naturally, I looked more into that word as well. To reminisce means to indulge in enjoyable recollections of past events. Revisiting memories for the purpose of improving current mood and gaining optimism is what the song Autumn Leaves is about. The song is also about being able to go back in time, before you completely lost every bit of yourself so that you can enjoy that time, because in the present you may be barely holding on, like leaves on a tree before the end of autumn.

The song uses the connection that leaves have to a tree and almost personifies it to refer to a relationship that a person may have with most likely a significant other (indicated by the terms of endearment: “baby”, and “my/ this love” in the post-chorus). It is unknown who the significant other is but using the context that BTS has made this song, it’s possible that ARMY being an endearing significant counterpart to the lives of BTS, might be the relationship that is being referred to here, but this can have many other interpretations such as general relationships between people or the relationship within oneself. Despite the interpretation of who the speaker may be talking to, the lyrics express how hard it is to hold on given the inevitability of falling.

The reason I say falling is inevitable is not only because all leaves fall eventually in Autumn but because in BTS’ 2017 hidden track song “Sea”, there is the repetition of “wherever there’s hope, there’s despair” (doolset). Although the majority of the song pleads to not leave and to not fall, to hold onto positivity even if it is fading, Namjoon acknowledges that “my love must fall in order to rise”. I could connect this to the theme “Self-fulfilment” because this line could be saying that some relationships might need to be broken in order to improve oneself but again, the “love” being referenced in the lyrics could depend. Could the love talked about be their love of youth? Is it that letting go of the baggage from youth could make you more prosperous? While there may be hope that holding on can turn out to be worthwhile in the end, there will always be despair to tag along, but it may be more straining and stressful than letting go.

The most obvious connection that Autumn Leaves has to the Words By Bangtan themes is to the theme “Memories”. It is a word used explicitly in the lyrics (“inside my memories I become young again”- RM) but the idea of a memory is said implicitly as well (“The subtle (ambiguous) difference from how it was before”- SUGA). The song is not just about memories, but more so, positive memories that come from a particular season: Autumn Nostalgia. Nostalgia, as defined by David Ludden, is the “bittersweet emotion we experience when we think back to a past experience that was better than the life we’re currently leading”. It is possible that the fall season serves as a “retrieval cue” to bring about feelings of nostalgia (like the weather changing from hot to cold or the smell of pumpkin spice in the air). The reason I say Autumn Leaves is more positive in its recollection of memories, despite the lyrics talking about a lack of strength to hold on, is because the lyrics acknowledge that the past was better. With lines such as “I can’t catch you anymore”, “your words and expressions that become cold… our relationship is fading”, “Compared to before, tonight is much quieter”or “I want the you that wants me again”, the speaker is longing for the relationship that was warm and full of life, like the season before (relationship again being left up to interpretation (ie. longing for a self that is more full of life, whose words were less cold towards others, etc)). While remembering that there are good things in the world (and in yourself) is a good thing, it is not what Namjoon is saying we should let go of (since those memories can be self-fulfilling).

I believe Namjoon is saying not to dwell or hold onto things you know you are supposed to eventually lose. We shouldn't let our past, whether good or bad, stop us from living in the present and making new beautiful moments. This could also be why the last line of the chorus is saying “Don't go far away” instead of just “Don’t go away”. It accepts that one may have to leave but as long as they don't go far, they will be able to return. By revisiting memories and not getting caught up in them, one may be able to catch themselves from hitting the ground and completely shattering. Nostalgia can be a good thing if it makes you happy when you are feeling low, but being stuck in an unchangeable past, or on a “branch that does not shake”, one may “constantly fall on their own”. All nostalgia can do is “dampen sadness” momentarily but life still goes on. Even if life were to continue on as bad, it won't be as bad (Ludden) and like the lyrics suggest, even if you fall, you won’t fall far.

It is almost as if after acknowledging that one may need to fall in order to rise again, the repeated “never fall” at the end takes on a new meaning. Towards the end it seems more self-encouraging, almost to say “even if the present is difficult, never let yourself get to the point of shattering. Remind yourself of the most beautiful moments of your youth, but don't stay there”. With a message like this, it makes more sense as to why the song was included in the Young Forever Compilation album but also why it was placed as the second to last song on the original album (House of Cards being the outro surrounding what happens after this realization in Autumn Leaves). Right before the end of youth, BTS are reminding others (and themselves) that while youth may be over, and trials in life may seem like they are getting worse, never fall and keep yourself together a little more (House of Cards) as there is another season to look forward to.