Ainsley • 29 • she/they. primarily my writing blog where I proceed to be too shy to post my writing and just make aesthetic and rant posts. multi-fandom.
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Why do we say “slept like a baby” when babies literally wake up screaming every two hours?
I want to sleep like a middle-aged dad who “rests his eyes” during a Marvel movie and wakes up refreshed, confused, and ready to barbecue.
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next dynamic were sexualizing is that of a bull and a toreador
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I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.
#tiktok#if you have a funny fyp still like back in 2018-2019 lemme know who the follow to get thay back cuz i miss this being every tt i got
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I was having writers block and so I took a break and soon enough it was 3 in the morning and I had impulsively sewn together a tiny mouse you’re welcome
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i. there's this video of a guy dancing on his tiptoes. i will begrudgingly admit the song is kind of catchy actually. i don't think it's the worst song i've ever heard. he seems passionate about it. but it is embarrassing, how he's dancing.
ii. you know where this story is going, unfortunately, and so do i.
iii. three weeks ago i had to drag half a dead rabbit out of my dog's mouth. i was just recently discussing how cruel things feel lately. that the way the world is shifting feels mean. three days ago, a random woman rolled down her window to snap at me because she missed her turn. this is now routine.
iv. 11 years ago in october, i made a post about how we shouldn't make fun of people for doing brave, vulnerable things. it has over 400k notes. people - at the time - seemed to generally agree with me. we have all felt shy and insecure when we share an intimate part of ourselves. we have heard someone at a concert say "that's fucking embarrassing" and said to ourselves - oh, this person is unsafe to be vulnerable in front of. we have said i can't act like that in public. we have left our art and passion in the dark. i think there will never be enough graveyard space for the art we have killed because what if others shame me for it.
v. the thing i was bullied for in high school was because i was a "predatory lesbian." a popular girl i'd literally never spoken to just decided she didn't like me and announced i was "stalking" her. to this day i have no idea what motivated this - i think i was just shy and poor and awkward and ugly. the perfect target. what they don't really ever show in movies is how quickly it moves, how suddenly strange people in the hallways are attacking you about it. they also don't show you that the bullies get this strange ... glee out of it. like, it's fun for them. it's enrichment. everyone else is in on the joke. suck it up, kid.
vi. so far, from what i have seen, creators that stand up for the musician all seem to have the same story: when i asked why we're bullying a random guy, people actually got mad that i asked. i've had similar things happen to me when i ask for us to be less comfortable with our anonymous cruelty. when an internet stranger says "be kind, it saves lives" - people find it funny to say fuck you i hope everyone kills themselves. pages and pages of people saying the same bullshit. sitting in their little caves, eating their own humor. it's just genuinely exhausting. the natural endpoint of "cringe culture" is that even kindness is cringe-worthy.
vii. loneliness is an epidemic. but where are you going to make your community? call your representative. go back to bed about it.
viii. due to how i was raised, i am always confused by cruelty. i understand the american isolationist belief "i can do whatever i want" - sure. but why wouldn't you want to be kind? i have lived too many bad things. i cannot be the epicenter of someone else's bad dream.
ix. it's just that if we were going to bully someone relentlessly, why is it never the healthcare CEOs. why isn't it the fascists. why isn't it, like, someone who you could at least argue "deserves" it. why is it always just some guy in socks singing a pretty mid song? or a person that doesn't look like you, just, like existing.
x. it's just that i think people enjoy doing it. they want to do it because they get some kind of masturbatory release from it - like a shrug or a splinter, they all seem to say the same thing - come on, it's funny.
xi. the world is sometimes beautiful, and sometimes you make something. the world is sometimes terrible, and you are worried they won't accept what your hands can wring. you open the instagram comments and they're still saying all sorts of shit to just - like - a normal guy. and some part of you thinks: if that was me. good lord. if that was me i'd -
xii. somewhere there is a graveyard. someone is already burying their hopes and dreams.
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Round One of the Hottest 80s Musician Tournament


Peter Wolf
March 7, 1946-
Known as: Vocalist of The J. Geils Band and solo artist
Music released in the 80s:
With The J. Geils Band
Love Stinks (1980)
Freeze Frame (1981)
As a solo artist
Lights Out (1984)
Come as You Are (1987)
Propaganda:
Kirk Pengilly
May 10, 1960-
Known as: Saxophonist and guitarist of INXS
Music released during the 80s:
INXS (1980)
Underneath the Colours (1981)
Shabooh Shoobah (1982)
The Swing (1984)
Listen Like Thieves (1985)
Kick (1987)
Propaganda:
Visual propaganda for Peter Wolf:

#polls#this one was hard#peter wins out but only barely#kirk just has this really nice face#kirk could be androgynous tbh#like if he wanted to he could#and i really like that but long hair always wins
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It's about time that Vatican City gets to participate in Eurovision
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