honorlessrogue

[honorlessrogue]

you know, i was excited when i first redownloaded tumblr and made a new account. a fresh start, thought i. separate from the other time i spend online, where i can sometimes pretend that everything is back to normal.

when i first started finding other jews on here i was excited then, too. more people like me, thought i. separate from the vitriol and acid words i kept seeing around me, where i can sometimes pretend the world is not out to get me.

but then reality set in. and what i see here is exactly what i see everywhere else. there is still the vitriol and hatred. and the same desperate pleas from my fellow jews, begging for someone outside of their own circle to hear what they are screaming. but the screaming is an echo, one that reaches nowhere but to the ears of their siblings. i don't want another place where i come to feel sorrow. i didn't come here for more reminders of what i've lost. and yet, all i see is my pain and those acid words regurgitated over and over and over and over and the only people it reaches are the ones who have already felt it.

can i have a release? a little corner to return to, where i can sigh a breath and hold on to the delicate threads of happiness without them slicing through me like the thinnest of daggers? is a glimmer of peace too much to hope for?

[honorlessrogue]

i wish my media wasn't overrun by stories about dead jews. i wish i didn't turn on my phone to see hateful words, scorn, swimming across my screen. i wish i could go back to enjoying my time online. talking about the things i love. the things i enjoy.

instead i am bombarded by a feed which makes it impossible to relax. to close my eyes and feel peace.

i am exhausted.

[honorlessrogue]

I know it's hard to do so when you've dedicated so much time to leftist movements and found a community that's helped you and some others thrive, but you HAVE to criticize the left when it is failing groups of people. And it is 100000000% failing Jews.

Almost every single non-Jewish activist who usually posts about tragedies when they happen to numerous other marginalized groups has remained silent about the recent news about the Bibas family. Most have been entirely silent about October 7th. Even this post will likely be reblogged/liked by 95% Jews.

All your Jewish friends could have been born Israeli. It's entirely dependent on where their ancestors fled to. Half of the world's ENTIRE Jewish population lives in Israel. And you- no matter what group you belong to- could have been born Israeli. You might be in denial about it, but it's true. Anyone of us could have been born anywhere.

I roll my eyes when "I'd totally punch a nazi!" activists complain about Elon Musk maybe doing a nazi salute, yet never post about what Jews have been mourning for over a year now. Their words are empty. Elon is easy to criticize because he is a douchebag who is rightfully hated by the left. You risk no real social consequences for your posts about him. You are not a social justice advocate- you are a coward.

But what kind of world are we living in where anyone in any movement claiming to be about "justice" feels they are risking social consequences for posting about Jews who were murdered due to being Jews? Fearing your "comrades" scolding you for posting against antisemitism? They have some big antisemitism problems to deal with. Are you willing to confront them about it?

Fearing social consequences for speaking up about suffering Palestinians and suffering Israelis are two sides of the same coin of extremism. I always wonder if my posts really get through to anyone, or if I'm mostly screaming into the void. Will this post affect you? Or will you just go "ah that's kinda sad idk" and move on?

It's time to have some tough conversations with people you might be afraid to get into them with. Are you going to be a true ally to Jews or not? Are you going to fix your activist spaces to be ones centered around the principles of justice and equality? Or are you going to ignore it and claim you're not antisemitic? Because Jews have seen where indifference and denial leads to before. Spoiler alert: it's horrific.

[honorlessrogue]

The act of promising to send back a person's corpse and then switching it out with an unidentified person as an act of psychological torture is something I've only seen from my worst cases as a forensic scientist.

I've seen it from organized crime outfits, typically Russian mob and cartels, and from serial killers. This reminds me more of the latter rather than the former as the outfits tend to behave in a certain manner and abide by various rules. Serial killers, however, often delight in the psychological torture of their victims, victims' family, and community.

There's a number of cases I've been brought in on to help ID corpses that were not who the killer said they were. Causing pain and anguish for the families and community to their delight.

In this instance, making a big show of returning these hostages and then pulling the rug out from underneath Israel and the greater Jewish community only serves one purpose; to cause psychological and emotional harm. And make no mistake, the people justifying Hamas and their actions up until this moment and beyond are acting like every True Crime Serial Killer Girlie that has come up to me in my career to try and justify the actions of people like Dahmer, Gacy, Gein, and so on. "They're just misunderstood." "What did you think they would do? They had a rough life. It's not their fault they did these things." "They're just fighting back against the system that made them this way." All of this is to take the onus of responsibility off of the serial killer, just as all these anti-Israel activists take the onus off of Hamas and its violent terrorism. And just like a True Crime Girlie coming up to me with their binder full of notes about why their serial killer blorbo is good, your opinion that Hamas is somehow justified in their action is worth nothing. You've presented yourself as lacking the moral and ethical stand point that condemns such actions as taking families hostage, promising to return them, and then pulling a "switcheroo" last minute to be cruel. You're not good people, and no amount of mental gymnastics to somehow blame Israel for this will make you a good person. And if somehow you're a fellow Jew? Well, I think you've burned every bridge with the community as of this moment.

[honorlessrogue]

Today has been the weirdest in a while.

Every Jew I know is experiencing some stage of grief and we're all commiserating with each other and sharing each other's anger and supporting each other.

And goyim are just....silent. Like, it feels like being inside a burning building, yelling for help, as people walk by on the sidewalk without looking (the number of nightmares I've had about this exact situation since Colleyville is....well. It's a recurring one, I'll just leave it at that).

And that adds this extra weight. It's not enough that Jews are going through what we're going through, that we're going through what we've been going through for the past year and a half, for the past 2000 years. It's the silence of people we thought were friends and allies. Even now, even after a year and a half of weeding out antisemites (to date: I've lost two active friends and five casual friends), it still hurts. Which sucks, because I thought I'd moved past that.

And yeah. I see your likes and that's fine I guess? But it feels so....condescending. Like cool. You liked that but didn't reblog. Cool, you liked that but didn't reach out to me directly. You SEE something is up and then you turn a blind eye.

You keep me hidden. And not in the good way.

[honorlessrogue]

tfw you love being in fandoms, but you're also Jewish and scared to interact with anyone because "what if they want me dead?"

I shouldn't have to feel this way, but I do.

[honorlessrogue]

[honorlessrogue]

Oh no, a plan I had today was cancelled, now I have to allocate that block of time to something else but it has Plan Residue all over it, fuck,

[honorlessrogue]

online brainrotted leftists will accuse jews of spending the last 500 days cheering on the death of gazan babies and then turn around and immediately start cheering for the death of israeli babies. methinks thou art projecting, online leftists.

[honorlessrogue]

in our dnd session today our dwarven fighter tried having a friendly wrestling competition with a (very strong) npc after our dwarven paladin/bard successfully beat the npc in a match.

first round: npc easily pinned him

second round: npc easily pinned him

third round: npc pinned him to a tree and kissed him

fighter tried seducing npc further, npc just laughed and let him go

to be fair to the fighter, he had just sold a literal piece of his flesh for pearls and a magic ring earlier that day (...unclear how the ring was intended to be worn. certain other party members [cough cough bard cough cough] were convinced that it was not to be worn on a finger)

apparently very pleased with herself that she was stronger than the fighter, our paladin/bard proceeded to become incredibly intoxicated and needed to be carried back to where we were staying for the night. good times

(also said fighter is trying very hard to get her to fall in love with him. so far he is extremely unsuccessful, seeing as she is not interested in alpha males who run away as soon as an enemy approaches. i'm with her on this one, both in and out of game)

(and i should also say that the actual people playing are all lovely wonderful people and the person playing the fighter is very much not an alpha male despite how their pc acts)

[honorlessrogue]

Ok so here's me, just MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, whiffling through the tulgey wood, and maybe burbling a little because, yanno, why not?

So out of fucking nowhere there's this motherfucker by the Tumtum tree, just fucking standing there in uffish thought with this vorpal blade!

THAT BITCH WENT SNICKER-SNACK!!

So here he is galumphing back with my fucking HEAD and I'm just left there dead.

What. The. Fuck.

[honorlessrogue]

actually there were 0 time travellers on the Titanic, because the time cops have an entire outpost to safeguard that one particular point in history. every rookie spends a least a month on Titanic duty and they all complain bitterly about it since it is, essentially, the time travel equivalent of being the guard who has to stop tourists from licking the Liberty Bell.

[honorlessrogue]

This Barbie is an ancient Slavic witch

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[honorlessrogue]