hooplahfloop

[hooplahfloop]

im all dressed up with no place to go putting on my face for the world a beautiful costume

i thought if i covered up some spots of low self worth with a little eyeliner and some plum lips id be fine it wouldnt matter

i thought some denim to cover my fat stomach and a tight tank top to showcase my breasts and waist would disguise my inability to function in this world

i thought maybe i could convince myself that i am happy right now that i am fine that i am okay

that i am not alone in my room lying on the bed ignoring the telltale twists and yanks pulling me deeper down

i just want to eat some salty movie theater popcorn and get drunk and pretend that that will not end up making everything that much worse

that i wont look in the mirror and see the smudged tears and red rimmed eyes

the excessive fat that i zero in on and think about how i wish i could cut it off without adding scar to injury

salt water cuts through my perfected mask and i can see lost eyes staring back at me raw emptiness filled with too much heaviness an oxymoron for the extremely moronic lunatic i can literally feel the insanity creeping into my veins i want to run away i want to breathe normally feel stable if im able to but im nauseated and unable to

and i dont know how to get better because it comes and goes and like a ghost i thought it was dead but its back again holding me hostage in this body

[hooplahfloop]

Valentino SS-2014

[hooplahfloop]

Some days are good… and some days you just feel like the only dog at a llama orgy.

[hooplahfloop]

[hooplahfloop]

[hooplahfloop]

im not here i dont feel right i cant breathe right i dont know where i might be right now under stress duress my body my prison undress too warm ripping off clothes at skin pounding in my head everythings wrong confusing im losing my mind where am i why cant i breathe right feel alright i want to tear this feeling out of me behind my ribs in my very center rip it out im shouting screaming pounding my head into pillows makeup stains and salt and spit body hunched cringing hair falling into my eyes and mouth this is not a beautiful sadness this is all too real and unreal not right i cant get it to stop get it out of me rip it out of me let me be alright

please

[hooplahfloop]

[hooplahfloop]

CNN Discussion feat. Amanda Seales and Steve Santagati.

[hooplahfloop]

Kittens Playpen Custom Order Giveaway! You can win your choice of the following..

-A custom made collar in any size!!

-A pair of custom animal ears!

-A custom tail!

All YOU have to do, is Reblog this post!  No follows needed! :)  Contest will end November 10th!  Goodluck Everyone!

[hooplahfloop]

[hooplahfloop]

[hooplahfloop]

“We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.”

    Thich Nhat Hanh (via thatkindofwoman)

This thinking is really important to me... Like I just... Yes.

[hooplahfloop]

Still quite a bit left to do, but it’s really coming together! I like the colors in this dress so much more then my red and white version. I think it looks a lot less juvenile and way more magical. 

It’s made from organza and chiffon with a tulle overlay and $60 of fake flowers.

I have information about how I’m making it here! And a video about it here! 

[hooplahfloop]

Gorgeous alt people

[hooplahfloop]

[hooplahfloop]

[hooplahfloop]

HOW THE CYNIC FALLS IN LOVE

When I realized I loved you  it was not romantic  Not flush with pink roses & wine but rather normal  Rather standing in line at CVS  clutching a four pack of peanut butter cups  & cold medicine It was a quiet realization  Like checking the weather I was currently standing in  "Huh. It’s a bit warmer than I would have guessed.”