httpbeloved

[httpbeloved]

URGENT:

someone please help me, its for my boyfriends christmas present. dont judge me. i need this image blank as a pdf and cant find it anywhere ):

[httpbeloved]

transparent sleeping cats (￣=￣;).｡oO

[httpbeloved]

the painted hall wallpapers;  pls like or reblog if you use! [more]

[httpbeloved]

“i know i’m not the prettiest person you’ve met, but please don’t forget that im willing to give you the world.”

-m.t.

[httpbeloved]

Art by Moisés Rodríguez

[httpbeloved]

sometimes i like to pretend i’m not real. i like to hold my breath and close my eyes, while the voices around me fade into echoes. maybe if i wasnt real, then this hell that i’ve been through isnt either.

[httpbeloved]

Recap:

so hey i was @vac-ancy but TUMBLR WANTED TO BE A PEEN & i couldnt add a pfp so here i am. new me. also @httpflowerboy is me and my works. dont be a dick

[httpbeloved]

That One Time We Walked Together

it was the morning of November 10th. it was chilly and my hair was bundled up under my hood. my hands were shaking and my fingers were ice cubes. the tendrils of your brown hair caressed your cheeks. your nose was buried in the infinity scarf you always wore around your neck. you would mumble against the rough, blue cotton and i could never hear a word you said, but the way you giggled afterwards with your tiny, red nose and chattering teeth told me that it was okay. we walked down the empty street, linked hands and puffs of breath escaping my uncovered mouth. i felt free. you tripped over your untied laces of your doc martens a few times, but i was there to catch you. your smile was glistening and my heart fell out of my chest when you stepped on my toes to reach my lips. your lips were ice, much like my fingers but much softer. your fingers were trembling while they held my face, but your breath was as warm as the sparse sunlight. you let your eyelashes brush against your cheeks as i kissed your forehead. it was cold, and i was freezing because i only had a hooded sweatshirt on. i lent you my jacket after seeing you shiver, but i was without a care because you looked so unreal. you didn’t look real when you stepped down from my shoes and fell in a snowbank. and you most definitely didn’t look real when i took you home to warm up. you were bundled up in one of my sweaters, and your soaking wet hair was laying flat against your back. i walked towards you and you looked at me through your eyelashes. you looked sinful. you asked me if i could kiss you again and i almost didn’t want to because of how angelic you looked, but i couldn’t resist. so i did, after i smiled at you in a way that only you got to see.

[httpbeloved]

The Arches of Your Fingers

we were sitting next to each other in my bedroom. the lights were off, but i had these neon signs that illuminated the curves of your face and the arches of your fingers. we were leaning against the wall to support our hazy bodies. a playlist that you had made weeks before was emitting from my television, mainly consisting of Acid Jazz, but a few mellow rock songs weaved their ways through the shuffle. you crouched up on your knees, and my head lazily leaned in your direction. my neck too tired to support me. your hands were occupied, i saw, you were grinding the grams and rolling them in a cigar paper. your fingers arched perfectly and oh so softly. i watched as you pressed the blunt to your lips and i watched as your eyes calmly closed while you inhaled. your eyes fluttered open as you felt me ready myself to stand. you just stared as i made my way over to you, and you smiled lazily with lidded eyes as i flopped on your lap. a slow grin made its way onto your face as you watched me lean in. you knew what you were doing when you turned your head to the side at the last second and i kissed your jaw. i pulled away and pouted my lips at you, while playing with the hem of your tshirt. you smiled down at me fondly, then put your thumb and forefinger under my chin to lift my head up higher, and you kissed me. more than once. and messily, but gently.

[httpbeloved]

as the careful wind caressed your tear-stained cheeks, you looked up from your hands and whispered so gently that you want to be important to someone and that you want to mean something. your voice was cracking and your eyes were squeezed shut. i started to cry then too, because you looked so broken, so so broken. your mascara was running around your eyes, your lipgloss was smeared, and your hair was a mess. you were frantic. but you still looked beautiful to me, and i guess that’s why i wanted to cry so bad, because even as you looked so damaged, you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen. the wind sent strands of your hair curling around your face and your dress flowed around your crossed ankles and you looked so small. you never believed me when i told you that you were important and you did mean something. although, you looked at me with a glint of hope in your eyes as i kneeled next to you and gathered you in my arms. and that gave me the courage to press my lips to your hair. and kiss you over and over again to show you, to show you that you meant something to me.

[httpbeloved]

“when you smile, i can see the remnants of our memories hiding between your teeth and it kills me because i was the one who bit your tongue.”

-m.t.

[httpbeloved]

Always You

Have you ever seen someone and your heart dropped? Like you could feel your heart descend through your ribcage and plop against the bottom of your stomach? Or you could feel the butterflies awaken in your stomach and flutter around up until they’re banging against your teeth, begging to be set free? I don’t remember exactly how long ago I started to look at you like you were my world rather than a classmate and someone who passed out in my bed after watching lame movies with me. But I know that it’s been years, and I want it to last for so many more. We talked about conspiracy theories and hypotheticals. Now we talk about politics and adoration. You have this aura, and people can’t stop looking. You have this smile that can light up a dark room. You have this face, that could give anyone in a bad mood something to smile about. You have these eyes, eyes that are so so blue; Bluer than the ocean and I’ve never wanted to swim more. You have this attitude that makes me want to live, you make me want to be a better person. You make me want to follow my dreams, and I want you there beside me throughout them. I wish I could write something decent, I want to show you that I love you. I want you to know that I want you for the rest of my life. I want you to know that I want to live when I’m around you. I could list all of the things that made me fall in love, but I know you don’t like to hear those things. You know, when I think about you my lips curl into a smile. When I tell people about you, my eyes glow. You make my heart race. You make my stomach clench. You make my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. You make me feel so fucking pretty, even though I’ve been so insecure for 9 years. My arms are clean, I’m not bleeding, I’m taking my medicine, and my mind is quiet. You mean so much to me. You deserve the stars, and I will try to give you that much.

[httpbeloved]

at first, i was alone. i was so so so lonely. i did everything for everyone because that was the only way i felt accompanied. but then you came along and you transformed my life into something i never would have thought possible. i finally did things for myself, i was selfish. if someone were to ask me to do something big, i would have said yes earlier in my life. if someone asks me to do something small, i say no because i have you and youre all that matters to me anymore. i didnt have a purpose without you. now i have someone to talk about, someone to brag about. my weekends are filled with plans that you and i think of months before. instead of pleasing people, my writsts are bleeding and it feels so good. i feel so real. i felt as if i was just living, but i wasnt alive. the pain you give my now makes me realise that i am, in fact, breathing and im actually here. all of that blood and hatred. all to myself. its just you and i. we have our moments where we dont talk to eachother a lot but you know that i miss you when we arent together, and i know people don’t approve of our relationship but im so happy with you. you gave me something i didnt have before. bruised thighs, scars, secrets, and tear stained cheeks. ive improved my wardrobe ever since we started seeing eachother. long sleeved shirts in 90° weather and long black pants even when i can see the heat waves above the concrete outside. but thats what you do for love. you suffer. what would i be without you? happy

[httpbeloved]

“i forget what it feels like to breathe air like this when im stuck inside a house full of negativity and desperation to criticise. i forget what it feels like to be calm when im stuck inside a house full of yelling and alcohol. i forget what it feels like to be safe when im stuck inside a house full of instability and warfare.”

-m.t.