i-am-emily - Tumblr blog

[i-am-emily]

tux is now xenia's trans man little brother. for reasons of swag

[i-am-emily]

Our friend Richard is staying with us and I was reminded of one of his dating escapades that always made me laugh.

He’d met this girl online, and they’d been chatting for days. She was cautious but he didn’t mind as online dating does have some risks. Finally, though, they set an in person date to meet up.

It seemed to be going okay until about midway through the date when she said, “I have an important question, I ask it on every first date.”

He sat up attentively.

“If you were asleep in your bed and woke up to see two small purple aliens going through your laundry what would you do?”

He was briefly stunned by the question but gave it some thought. Finally he said, “I’d pretend to still be sleeping and observe them. If they weren’t doing anything more I’d try to greet them.”

She gave a hmm and the subject moved on. Later, when she was driving him home she informed him, “I don’t think this is gonna work out. You don’t show a healthy sense of fear.”

He bore this pronouncement with grace and wondered what the right answer would have been.

The car sailed through the night which was made darker by the extremely thick forest towering over the road. No moonlight or stars could penetrate the thick canopy.

They rode in silence until she finally remarked, “Wow, this would be the perfect place to hide a body.”

Richard, a man lacking a healthy sense of fear, could recognize that her sense of fear was well honed. Therefore, he held his tongue on the fact that his good friend had in fact stumbled across a dead body in those woods a month prior.

[i-am-emily]

& Knuckles

Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil and Bed and Bath and Meat and Belief: Fact or Fiction

[i-am-emily]

had a fun experience on the subway the other day

[i-am-emily]

[i-am-emily]

[i-am-emily]

babi absol

[i-am-emily]

☝️ circle

[i-am-emily]

do you have enough for the class?

today i want to turn into a silly little kitty

[i-am-emily]

...i should buy a skateboard.

so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw

[i-am-emily]

i think i could be trusted with The Book That Kills People from the classic manga series "No One Can Be Trusted With Power Of The Book That Kills People" imho

[i-am-emily]

you should start hrt btw. if you've been waiting for a sign then this is it. get the life you want, it's in reach.

[i-am-emily]

hey. I just got back from cute people town. everyone there knew you

[i-am-emily]

that one woke liberal with dei/dem pronouns

[i-am-emily]

Xenoblade Chronicles 3: Future Redemeed - New Battle!!!

[i-am-emily]

Power up! 🩵