i8adonut

[i8adonut]

Sometimes things can look black or white up until you’re in the actual situation. I hope we will choose kindness esp towards those who are still finding their way. ♥️

[i8adonut]

[i8adonut]

Angels

Farewell to the city that I've adored. The angel was only but a boy, and nothing more.

[i8adonut]

Hello, my first love.

Yesterday was a bittersweet reunion of sorts, a precious family friend passed away. Though at a ripe old age of 92, he lived life as best he could, sorrow still filled the room and our hearts. Lolo was calm and a predictably happy man. He always gave a ready smile to people he met and greeted us as if we were his grandkids. Lolo was loved by many, especially by his grandkids, one of whom was my first love.

We arrived at the wake venue and quickly said our hi-hello to the family; that's when he stepped out of the room. He scanned the venue, his eyes landed on where I sat, pointed and said "Si Micky!" [It's Micky!] with a big dimpled smile. He came up to us, I stood in respect and offered to shake his hand, but he pulled me into a hug. It felt like I was sucked into a time machine, back to when I was 10 and he was 11.

The school we attended was then newly opened by our family friend, and we were the lucky pioneer batch. I remembered seeing this cute chinky-eyed boy, jogging around school for their PE class. I didn't have much of an expression then, but the next thing I knew we were talking on the phone nightly, and co-owned a Mickey Mouse Disneyland keychain that contained our locker keys. He had the keychain on Monday-Wednesday-Friday, while I got to have it on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

We were both young artists and were forced by our teachers to join the school's art competitions. He would win 1st place, while I came in 2nd. At interclass sports activities, he and I were the match-up as he was his class' tallest guy and fastest runner while I was my class' most athletic. We were literally teased and rooted for by the whole school, whose collective population was about 50.

Until one day, I remember he angrily gave me back my keys and we stopped talking. My first heartbreak. But then again, we were so young, what did we know?

We started to grow up and match with other people. He even dated one of my close friends back then. We went from elementary to high school to college in what now feels like a blink of an eye. For college, I heard he went to the art school across my university, but we never saw each other - not a silhouette or shadow. Last I heard, he worked as a graphic designer in Singapore.

A few years ago, his mom and I met at a function and chatted for a while. She asked if I talked to her son, and I said no. She then encouraged me to keep in touch and persuade him to come home.

So I did. We occasionally chatted, but too many years passed between us, and a close friendship seemed impossible to push for.

Back then, the last I heard was that he came home and got married.

Seeing him yesterday brought so much nostalgia. He was different, but he was also the same. He still looked like the 11-year-old boy I adored, just taller, with facial hair, and married.

Hearing him say my name made me realize that he was the very reason I was fond of chinitos, dimpled smiles, appreciated artists, and loved basketball.

Though I never wished to end up with him, I will always keep this memory in my heart. He will always be my first love.

[i8adonut]

The Her aftermath quotes. #sketch #doodle #quote #movie #Her2013 #love #art

[i8adonut]

Hello from four years ago

Hello from four years ago

That year was my all time low 

Don't ask me "How did it go?" 

The years felt extremely slow 

Hello from four years ago 

Coming up top from down below 

The dreams have started to yellow 

The hurts I slowly let go 

Goodbye from four years after 

The tears are replaced with laughter 

Finally with someome who thinks I matter 

Someone who made my life brighter 

Good bye from four years after 

The past is now a big crater 

Gratitude to you for making me better 

By saying your good bye in a letter

[i8adonut]

"Will you not kiss me goodbye?" He asked. She turned to him, smiled and said "I don't want leave you with feelings that I can't answer for." And she kept on walking to meet her home while he stood there with so much shock. Consumed by so much truth. He knew this was the end to all his questions and hopes. The end to all his wonders. #wonders #sketch #short

[i8adonut]

Today she was happy.

Today I saw her. My college flame. She was out of the cookie cutter mold of girls I liked. She's simple, erratic, with wide eyes that see more than what you show. She changes her mood faster than you can say "don't", and bids you good bye faster than you can say "hello". She has been through times and loves, and a lot of might have beens. She keeps both grace and fierceness that you'll only see when you look closer. She was my "another used to be", my vague memory.  She was neat and clean as a whistle, yet her mind was a messy place. She'll give out her best smile at will, but in her head a thousand thoughts collide, drowning her, sweeping over her, crashing her to shore. She is a person of many armors and layers, and I've gone only as deep as her surface and then I gave up. One day in our teens, she came up to me tired and fed up of what we were and we were not. I didn't do so much to give her the love she deserved and slowly let her go to the valley of confusion. I wanted to keep her as much as I wanted to lose her, so I hemmed a thread of cowardice and wrapped it around her. Blaming her mood swings, telling her that I couldn't keep up, and later said I've had enough. But the truth was, I cared so much for her. However, I knew then that keeping her would push me to grow up, be responsible, be selfless--and I didn't want to be those at that time. So I let her go.  I heard little from her and about her since then. I'm happily engaged to my girlfriend of three whole years. Today I saw her, still as simple as she was back then. She avoided my look, I could tell. Typical. Or maybe, she didn't? Because as I looked on longer, she looked away from me only to turn to the one on her right. As same as she was, she looked at him differently. She smiled more often, and looked into his eyes deeply. And as I walked on, I kept thinking what was it? What was different? Until it dawned on me. Today was different because today she was happy.

[i8adonut]

Manigong bagong taon Sa ating lahat mula kay Darna! #salubong2015 #art #doodle #sketch

[i8adonut]

Happy birthday @micovillareal 🎉🎈🍕🍝🍰🍦

[i8adonut]

Hello, stranger. #sketch #art #drawing

[i8adonut]

And at last we saw the lights! 😊 #AyalaTriangle #Christmas2014

[i8adonut]

Home

Today I write you this poem Simply to say this truth That even the beauty of Rome Can never replace you as my home

[i8adonut]

Hurts

There are hurts That you're immune to Those that will not shake you Still there are those That you'll never get used to

[i8adonut]

Christmas gift ideas! Interested? Contact me! :) micky.elevazo@gmail.com

[i8adonut]

Today's reminder. #doodle #art #sketch #handlettering

[i8adonut]

Recent projects. Frame and spread.