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Taking a step back

In life, we take things for granted, we perceive bad things happening to us as a punishment rather than a lesson. We start to believe everything that is “Bad” or “Shitty” is just that –bad, but when you think and take a step back. You realize that someone, somewhere, would die to be in the position you are in right now. We believe a rainy day is bad because we can’t be outside enjoying the…

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Life is life

It’s been a while since I’ve made a post! So! HELLO! I might start deleting some posts just because I don’t know what I’ve written, hopefully it wasn’t anything embarrassing. All I know is seeing the date of the last post. It’s been more than a year since I’ve written anything and things have changed. My life has changed just a bit! More responsibilities, more than I would’ve thought I’d have a…

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My Thoughts Tonight

I can’t explain why I feel this way nor can I come to peace if it is my fault for feeling the way I feel right now. I do not know if I am being selfish or if I’m being correct and it’s bugging me to the point where I have to write this down. I want to understand myself and the way I feel at this very moment. I am stressed because I couldn’t do my job properly and I couldn’t be at ease at work. I…

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New Sacrifices

It’s been a while and a lot of things have changed. I got a new job position so I’m making more but the thing that sucks about it. Is that I work in the afternoons now and I don’t get out of work until 7 PM which is way different than leaving work at 12 PM. I used to be able to still enjoy my middays and do work outside and still be able to do fun things but now. It’s like my life did a 180 spin.…

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Yin and Yang

Things happen for a reason, and that’s my belief whether or not God has something to do with that I do not know all I know is there’s always a reason for an event. Things haven’t been going great for my girlfriend and me, so we witnessed and stopped a car theft on my girlfriend’s truck. It made me feel vulnerable not because I couldn’t stop it but because I thought my home and neighborhood were…

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The stages of hunger

Feeling hungry can make you feel different types of ways in a couple of minutes. It be making me go through the five stages of grief and it’s so funny when I am stuffed and i think to myself “why the fuck was I thinking the way I was thinking” it makes me kinda realize that maybe this world is fucked because people aren’t thinking straight cause they’re hungry and there might be some truth to…

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What to be? What to do?

I don’t know what I want to do or what I want to be; I hate it because I feel so lost without a guide. That guide is what my heart wants to do or follow it’s depressing and annoying. It makes me feel like a loser. I understand that I always say to keep trying new things and trying to be the best you can be but, I just can’t follow my own words. I have an image in my head of what I want to look…

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My Weed Story

I smoked weed a couple of days ago with some friends and I truly thought it was going to be a good experience but, it turns out it was not it felt as if everything that I was seeing was my dad’s memories. As soon as I realized that I started to panic and overthink everything to the point where I thought that life was just a big giant loop. That my life started with my dad and ended when I sat…

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Entry 16

It sucks to feel alone and it sucks more to be alone, you can feel alone even when you have people next to you and it happens sometimes when you’re just not in the right state of mind or you’re just not into the conversation. It’s normal y’know? And it’s also normal to feel alone when you have people to talk to or be with. It just sucks when you truly are alone and have no one to converse with,…

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Entry 15

I have no recollection of writing the same topic that I’m going to write all I can say is that It sucks when you want to be a good person but, don’t have a good figure to take on. All you can do is pull from your emotions which at times isn’t the best because you have to sometimes think and then act. Due in part that acting out of emotions isn’t going to go your way and it sucks because that’s…

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Entry 14

Sometimes the past hurts to the point where a single memory can make a beautiful day into a sad one. You try the best you can to make yourself forget and tell yourself that “everything will be fine” until you’re all alone in your room and the only thing that stops the memories and emotions from flooding is to distract yourself with whatever you have. Writing is what makes my thoughts stop…

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Entry 13

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything down on how I’ve been feeling and to be honest what I’ve been feeling lately isn’t great. I’ve been feeling lost and scared of my future because frankly, I’m confused about how to live my life. I want to be happy and I can’t because my mind isn’t letting me. I want to go out and have fun but there are times when reality doesn’t seem real it feels as…

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Entry 12

Hey, It’s been a long time since I’ve written something again, and let me tell you It’s been a crazy couple of months. I haven’t felt like myself, I’ve been feeling lost in life as if I’m missing something or needing something. I’ve also been jealous of people who genuinely have their lives figured out and live pretty happy lives. I bought a house thinking it would make me happy and be easy to…

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Hello!

It’s been a while since I’ve written something in my blog and for those who do read my blogs and like them I would like to apologize. It’s been hectic these past couple of months I’ve been working like crazy with no days off and I just recently bought a house and I’m very proud of myself especially at my age. However, it’s been dawning on me that with a lot of work and no rest I’m getting nothing…

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Entry 11

Right now I feel stuck again and I’m at the point of my life where I feel confused about my future. I understand that sometimes you have to go with the flow and let my life flow with whatever is going on right now. However, I feel guilty of not letting myself grow and not be a better version of myself and I know I have plenty of time to start doing a hobby or strengthening my mind with knowledge…

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Entry 10

When I was a kid my father gave me a book called “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. I didn’t understand it. I was young and naive. I just thought it was about a Shepherd who was fulfilling his personal legend. I read it again or should I say listened to it on Spotify which I didn’t know Spotify had audiobooks. It made me think of my own personal legend and it’s sad to say this but I don’t think…

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Entry 9

The worst thing about setting goals is not completing them and just letting them stay as goals. It’s been a while since I’ve written and to be Frank it sucks that even when I set goals I never get the chance to accomplish them. However, I also can’t force myself to write something because it wouldn’t be a genuine blog y’know? It’ll just be something that is being forced out of me and that’s not…