ikari-cat

[ikari-cat]

WELP

I had written a huge blog post in how my life has been for the past year, but Tumblr couldn’t handle that and crashed on itself despite my draft being constantly ‘saved’ :((((((( 

So pasting this from my notes, I’ll try to shorten this down to keep myself sane. 

So, it’s been a year since I graduated with a bachelor’s that I haven’t used yet, where I am working now you say??? I am currently working part-time at an animal shelter through the conservation corps, as well as a care provider for my little brother through the state; working part-time has been the key to keeping myself sane.

It makes sense, less work, more time to myself, and hey my needs are being met! My car is paid off, the only bills I need are my rent and school loans which are covered with just one check of mine since we split the rent with four of us. YES, living with mom still sucks ass, but I try to balance that negativity out with us saving money on the side for a new place (but who am I kidding cause it sucks living in this world right now financially). I am so adamant in working part-time that I turned down a full-time position at the shelter. Money aside, just working three days leaves me exhausted, so working for five days will completely destroy me. I like my team, I like working with them and the animals - I love my days off more however. It’s really clear to me that a full-time job has to be worth my time, cause money isn’t a huge factor for me, it’s the job itself that matters. So I’ve been tempted to go back to CC and trying out culinary like I originally wanted to do, but also I am hoping to just find a part-time job that leads me to pursue moving up - in the end I am just moving in the pace I want despite what society is telling me to do. I haven’t been in the best of states though to even keep up in the rat race. I have been dealing with depression, still coping with GAD, and recently with cysts/fibroids that left me in a distressed state for around 3-4 months (which BTW having a uterus truly fucks you over in this world huh). I am still in survival mode, and I don’t think I will over get over it until everything is at peace for me. What does that peace look like? Having different sources of ‘emergency’ cash, not having to dread over every little thing in my life going wrong, I get to feel free in my own space without constantly worrying if my face looks out of it or not for others to see - when will that peace indeed. Still wish I kept up with my hobbies, it’s become very obvious once I made myself more active on twitter and instagram I have kept to myself more, I cannot believe I used to doodle on things. At first I thought it was due to fandom drama, or feeling underwhelmed with my works in comparison to others, but I think it’s due to just hitting rock bottom during my time at school. I’ve been through a lot obviously, so having to feel this ‘need’ in expressing myself in fandoms was a lot, so I really do have to treat everything as a reset. So, a reset it is, thank you to those who still have stuck around - we are all getting through this together. 

[ikari-cat]

Happy regional day of devotion 💕

[ikari-cat]

💚💙 Happy Valentine's Day 💙💚

(late)

[ikari-cat]

self indulgent doodle

[ikari-cat]

vaginal infections, utis, and extreme ph imbalances are no fucking joke. please wash your goddamn hands before you stick your fingers in someone

[ikari-cat]

happy v day!

[ikari-cat]

uh so i finished the Azure Moon route on my first ever play through of my first ever fire emblem game and i'm not playing anything else cause i'm obsessed with these two

[ikari-cat]

Chili, honey corn bread, and carrot cake cookies for dessert! (♡)

[ikari-cat]

“the problem is its never gonna be what all the fans want” imo the problem is the majority of fans have bad fucking taste like. if you write a story with the intent to keep editing it in line with what fans want you’re gonna end up with a shitty story. obviously you can take in criticism from early access but once you publish the thing you shouldn’t constantly be retconning characterization wtf. good god

[ikari-cat]

[The Celestial Totems] Gothic Lolita Dresses and Capes Leftovers

◆ Shopping Link >>> https://lolitawardrobe.com/the-celestial-totems-gothic-lolita-dress-and-cape_p8356.html ◆ Very Limited Quantity!!!

[ikari-cat]

i wish ao3 allowed people to give kudos per each chapter. These 100k word NOVELS need more love than 200 tiny digital hearts ☹️

[ikari-cat]

Azure Moon : New Moon

[ikari-cat]

americans pleeease. please kill elon musk 🙏🙏🥺😔😩🙏 americans! please. Please !!! kill elon musk. don't you remember gun.. ? bang bang ? your favorite game..? Americans... please. 😔🙏 have you forgotten your local deity, captain america: kill nazis??? americans !! I know you can do it 🥺🙏 please americans..

[ikari-cat]

an under-appreciated view.

[ikari-cat]

[ikari-cat]

I drew a May to test the new SAI 1 update 💚🧡

[ikari-cat]

Dimi Doodles 💙 I forget to post most of my stuff here. Or I post them later... much, much later. So remember to follow me on 🦋 or that X thing... X thing still has lots of traction but Bluesky as exclusive things and also early (all of them have typos lol sorry)