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[ikigainn]

A Delicate Touch | Dazai Osamu

dazai x reader

warnings: obsession with dazai’s hands, slight mention of suicidal tendencies. i’m sorry this might be so bad.

We’re in a theater watching a play for our undercover mission today. An actor has been getting threats, and it was our job to investigate. Is it hot because of my nervousness about this mission? Or is it him?

It’s the proximity of our hands that's doing this to me. There’s no way that I would be affected by Dazai Osamu. His beautiful, delicate hands were adorned by silver rings around each thin, long finger. He left the bandages and his usual attire today, opting for a formal black suit (that still covered all of him) and slicked-back hair. We were pretending to be a couple in order to avoid any suspicion. His nails were trimmed clean, and the veins—it’s definitely the veins’ fault. I’m letting my hormones control me. Maybe I am starved by a touch (or maybe I’m only starved by his). His fingers are moving in a slow circle on his left knee, the tips of his fingers touching my knee, exposed by my dress. It’s just a slight touch; I doubt he’s even noticing what he’s doing (or maybe he is; he is a wicked devil after all). But every contact makes me feel like my skin is on fire. I try resting my hands on my lap to steer him away. It doesn’t work. Then I exhaled a deep breath, trying to stay away from him. He noticed the sudden distance and looked up at me questioningly, raising a brow. Why does he have to look so dazzling? I turn my head, trying to ignore his annoying presence. Suddenly I feel warm fingers, joined by the coldness of cool metal slowly enclosing my right hand that rests on my lap. I know that it’s him; no one could make me feel on fire like he does. His fingers slid forward between the valleys of my fingers. It’s getting harder to breathe. Suddenly, his thumb brushed over my wrist, feeling my heartbeat.

"Are you doing well, darling?", he asked, smiling that beautiful crooked smile. He leaned in, lips brushing over my ear, whispering, "I’m here for you; it’s always me and you, y/n." What could he possibly mean by that? Why is he driving me crazy? He still didn’t let go of my hand. 

Instead, he started softly sliding the top of his knuckles over my palm and then horizontally across my heart line. The touch of the sudden cool metal created goosebumps (or maybe it’s just his touch?). My hands started sweating. It’s only him who does this to me. Still.. he’s not letting go. I can feel his brown eyes lazily staring at me. I glanced at him briefly, catching his curious gaze. He’s testing me. Inspecting me. Trying to see my reaction and how much he’s affecting me. I’m definitely not affected whatsoever by Dazai Osamu. Men like him don’t belong with me. He’s broken, questionable, and he possibly cannot be staring at someone with that much lo— I mean admiration—in his eyes. He looks at me like I’m the death he so longs for. Maybe he’s just doing this for our undercover act. But why does it feel so real? I could feel his other hand gently sliding beneath mine to trap it. He doesn’t want me to let go. Then his forefinger starts drawing a circle on my palm. Such a simple touch, but my heart is on the verge of exploding. His middle finger joins his forefinger, still drawing a circle. Then his fingers enclose my wrist, and his thumb starts stroking my wrist up and down. What the hell is he doing? He returns his forefinger and middle finger and changes the pattern.. to lines? He lets me go, yet I still feel the fire of his touch on my hand. I realize that the play has ended, and there aren’t any signs of an enemy. "It was such a great play, am I right darling?" He smirked at me. He did this on purpose, utilizing the mission.. and our proximity.. Why though? .. Little did I realize later, the lines he wrote on my hand represented the kanji symbol of love..

[ikigainn]

arabic poetry is so beautifully yet painfully romantic, i mean “they asked “do you love her to death?” i said “speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life" and “because my love for you is higher than words, i've decided to fall silent" and "it is not enough to say love in Arabic, you must say 'be the thing that buries me'" could have got jane austen crying and shaking

[ikigainn]

something about you | dazai x reader

dazai x reader (from dazai’s pov)

warnings: none except that it’s poorly written? and maybe too short

this was heavily inspired by a scene from sjtr series, and i wanted to write it with dazai cause the characters are just too similar

It was a beautiful night out today, the ADA celebrated yet another one of their tough but successful missions together. It was today that you decided to drink a bit more than you could handle, and with the enticing way you’re looking at me now, I think I could barely handle how intoxicating you are to me.

“Osamu”, you whispered softly, looking up at me with your hazy eyes, your hands slowly trailing on my chest. I held my breath, afraid that you would be able to feel how strong my heart was beating for you, how you’re the only one who can do this to me.

“I kept my promise to only dance with you under the moonlight, let’s do it love”, your arms wrapped around me, your chest touched mine and I could feel your warm breath against my neck. Your hands traced circles on my back.

“You smell so good, for once”, you chuckled as you placed a small kiss on my covered neck. I could still feel the heat through my bandages, through my clothes, through everything. You’re burning me. Rousing me with your love.

I chuckled breathlessly.

“I only smell good for you my love”, I could barely speak and choose my words when you looked up at me again, your eyes fixated on my lips this time.

“Why don’t we go inside my love? You’re tired and it’s cold out here” I suggested. This is too much, how do I deserve someone like you?

“No it’s warm here, I’m okay because I’m with you”, you whispered distractingly, your eyes still focusing on my lips, the desire in them making me almost lose my restraint.

“I’m always okay when I’m with you Osamu”. Your warm breaths got closer and your lips almost touched mine, my mind went blank but I smelled the alcohol, I want you to remember this, so instead I kissed your cheek and pulled you closer to me, swaying us both slowly under the moonlight.

I realize I could do anything to be by your side, to feel your warmth that’s burning my heart and making me feel emotions that I never thought I could feel. How can I feel your love with unspoken words?

‘How can I make you feel mine?’ I thought as I wrapped you in my arms, hoping you could love me as much as I love you.

[ikigainn]

This is the only day you can RT this

[ikigainn]

i dont know how im supposed to interpret the fact that when pandora opened the box all of the monsters were released unto humanity except for hope, which stayed behind, but every time i think about it i go crazy

[ikigainn]

israel has been bombing residential towers, refugee camps, media offices and now there are reports that it plans to bomb two UN run schools in palestine. reminder that many ppl who have been rendered homeless by these bombings have found shelter in these schools. palestine's hospitals are overflowing, their top doctors are being killed in these bombings, and the pandemic is still raging while israel is blocking humanitarian aid as well. these are war crimes. this is a genocide.

[ikigainn]

On “Crime and Punishment”, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and Bungou Stray Dogs

ft. Nikolai Gogol. LONG POST! Also spoilers for the novel/manga if you haven’t read it already/haven’t caught up yet.

Here are some thoughts I have on certain parallels between Crime and Punishment and Fyodor Dostoyevsky in real life and as portrayed in BSD, also some speculations as to how this book and the real Dostoyevsky might have inspired his BSD version.

Keep reading

[ikigainn]

“I am crime. I am punishment. Did you know? Crime and punishment are close friends.”

[ikigainn]

“I’d prefer you don’t go..”

Man BSD Wan hurt. Have some fanart

[ikigainn]

Huge thank you to @wells-enthusiast (*´∀｀*)

You can check the ability singularity analysis here

[ikigainn]

Streaming Service Rant

[ikigainn]

“Mine has been a life of much shame. I can’t even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being.”

—

Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human (pg. 21)

[ikigainn]

reblog if it’s okay to become internet friends

I’ve always wanted internet friends but have never actually had the courage to ask. so this is me asking I guess. I hope this isn’t an inconvenience. if you’d like a good friend to love and support you, I’m here. even if you want to send memes back and forth that’s fine.

we can talk about a show, a movie, your favorite character. we can talk about your day, your favorite music. anything and everything.

[ikigainn]

You bored, or feeling artsy but don’t have any inspiration...!?

Do you need to distract yourself? Or are you simply bored? 

Well, let’s fix that shit right now~

Here are some great websites to make the time pass.

First off, here are some 100% free art programs!; 

Photoshop CS2 - (Windows, not sure about Mac.)

FireAlpaca - (Windows and Mac)

Medibang Paint Pro- (windows and Mac)

Sketchbook Copic Edition - (Windows and Mac)

GIMP - (Windows) (Mac)

Pain Tool Sai Cracked - (Windows and mac)

Paint tool SAI 2 beta - (tumblr post on said program)

iPaint - (Mac)

Paintbrush - (Mac)

Pencil - (Windows, Mac)

Paint.NET - (Windows)

Seashore [still in development, ver 0.5] - (Mac)

ChocoFlop - (Mac)

Inkscape - (Mac and Windows)

ArtRage [Demo] - (Mac and Windows)

Autodesk Sketchbook 

SumoPaint

OpenCanvas 1.1[must pay for 2.0] - (Windows, not sure about Mac.)

MyPaint - (Windows)

Krita - (Windows)

Vectorian [Supports Animation] - (Windows)

Pixia[Japanese, some English versions] - (Windows)

Asperite - (Windows)

Chasys Draw IES - (Windows)

SmoothDraw - (Windows)

TwistedBrush Open Studio - (Windows)

BOUNS - CTRL+Paint [Great for teaching all kinds of stuff, like how to use digital programs.]

Alrighty, but maybe you don’t want to download software to draw, free or not. That’s just too much time, and let’s face it, you’re already bored. Well, I’ve got you covered peoples, here are some free browser paint/drawing programs!;

Pixlr.com-a browser photoeditor, and can be used for drawing!

Psykopaint

QueekyPaint

PaintOnline- ((also has some random free browser games on site too!))

Sooo, maybe You just don’t feel like drawing…understandable, you beasts-here’s a BUNCH of other websites to calm and/or stretch those brain muscles!;

create pixel art

Awesome photo editor and art program, all free…!

Totally free transparent textures

make a cute chibi

draw some cool generative art

be a graffiti creator

create a picassohead (you don’t need to be a picasso to do so)

paint online

another awsome site to create pixel art on

and another one

create your own mandala

or color one

create an avatar

or you can try creating your own superhero

here you can interact with organisms in different environments to see how to music changes

here’s a website that translates the time into hexidecimal colours,

Here is a website where you can travel along a 3D line into the infinite unkown

here is a website where you can listen to rain with or without music

Need a model in a certain pose for drawing? here

Want to build your own planet

here is a website where you can create your own galaxies

make your own pattern (very useful if you need a new background)

create next hit comic

make a city which looks like something from 90′s games

draw a mandala like design

jig saw puzzles

more jig saw puzzles to solve

create a stunning HTML5 animation - no coding!

make a movie

create and dress up dolls

play a piano

you can also play a guitar

create sounds

another sound creator

create a logo

design your dream home

sketch rooms

explore fashion trends and create your own sets

build a website

try this app for building a website

Or maybe start learning how to code!

design your own t-shirt or a beanie or sweatpants and order them

design your own phone case

pretend to be a graphic designer with this cool online tool

Make your own Glitch art

Here’s another glitch art maker

And another!

Holy hell, here’s a third!

make an image look like it was created by a commodore 64

freaking cool text generator!

Easy to use word processor

Make up really cool patterns or run your photos through it :)

Write an essay on anything with no hassle

Wanna see how something you write would look like if it was on JacksFilms YGS((Your Grammar Sucks videos on YouTube))?

Make pictures out of text

ASCII word generator

Need an idea for some fanart-here :D

mario

cubefield

sleep calculator essay typer

rice questions

maths 

artsy-fartsy pretty thing

quotes

survive nature

rain

tumblr music

calming rain

themes

backgrounds [x] 

loads of references

Still haven’t found something that would float your  proverbial boat? 

Then try these out!:

watch a documentary

learn to code

do something yourself

workout with the help of this great youtube channels

learn things

play pokemon or zelda or other awesome old school games

waste your time on miniclip

play games at additing games

or try games at agame

calm your thoughts

the quiet place

it will be okay

vent or listen to someone

pour out your soul

explore the sky

look at art from around the world

virtually visit museum of iraq

explore world with arounder

create a music playlist

list through rare books

scroll useful science website

create sand art

brain games

try out tastekid and discover new favorite band or movie or book

interactive 3D anatomy

random street view

post a secret

create a family tree

find our what’s the difference between x and y

help scientists and become volunteer researcher

create your own font

read a classic short story

In the mood to read, but not sure exactly what book to go for?

scribble on maps

listen to letters

play with acrobots

listen to podcasts

make a bucket list

Ever want to see the most truly useless websites in creation?

Prank a friend with this blue screen of death!

Zone out watching the colors drip down

Sprite generator!

Face Generator/Creator!

Awesome anime style icon maker

COLOR STUFFS:

Color scheme designer

Find or create Color Pallets here~

Even More stuffs;

Wanna make a custom minecraft skin?

Well then these’ll work!

This one too~

Wanna make a custom error pop up?

Or a custom blue screen? 

WELP, what about making some ASCII art?

Here ya go!

And another one~

WAIT-last one…

OH, and here’s a HTML to image converter!..You’re gonna need that!

How about a pixel text bubble generator

Here’s a photoediting website that’s free and pretty awesome to mess with!

Ok, maybe none of these peeked your interest. 

Maybe you’ve been wanting to create an o.c, but never really knew how to start, or you just enjoy making O.C’s.

This  part of this list is specifically for OCs and Oc building. It can also apply to developing RP characters~

Gemsona stuffs;

Just a straight up character gemsona creator

Here’s another

Not sure what gem to go with, or where? 

OR maybe your unsure about more than just that?

Credit to http://spacetravels.tumblr.com/post/78602010683/so-you-want-to-make-an-oc-a-masterpost-of-ways For the majority of links here!

 ((I added a couple of links! In the appearance, details, and the whole of item names section, and the Gemsona area-((above))! 

As well as the couple of Transformers/Southpark character builder links, and Undertale/TMNT below..

Basically every link I made bold I added, because I am complete fandom trash…

..Seriously, Go check her wonderful blog out~!!!

How to Write Better OCs:

basic tips on how to make your oc even better

tragic backstory? learn how to write one/make yours great

writing specific characters

a wordier, great guide on how to develop your character

kick out those vague descriptions and make them AWESOME

Character Development:

how to actually make an OC

Q&A (to develop characters)

more Q&As

giving your character a backstory

how to write an attractive character

Need an Appearance idea?

Humanoid generator? check

Here’s another one

and maybe if you didn’t like those this’ll work

Need Monsterpeople?

Well, then here ya’ go

Maybe you need Cats?

Diversity;

adding more racial diversity

avoiding tokenism, AKA, how to add diversity to your cast not just because you “need” it

writing sexuality and gender expression(doesnt include non binary, if you have a good ref to that, please add on!)

masterpost on writing more diversity into your story

cultures of the world

guides to drawing different ethnicities(not just a great art reference, but also really helpful in appearance descriptions!)

Mary Sue/Gary Stu;

Test to see if your character is a Sue

Explains subdivisions of Sues/Stus

Powerful Characters Don’t Have to Be Sues

Villains;

villain generator

need an evil sounding name for your evil character? bam

villain archetypes

what’s your villain’s motive for being a villain?

Relationships;

character perceptions(What your character thinks of themselves and what others think of them)

how to write strong relationships between two characters

8 ways to write better characters and develop their relationships with others

OCxLove Interest Handbook

develop your couple with good ol’ Q&A!

how to write realistic relationships

how to write relatives for your characters(this is more OC related to a canon character, but will help in writing family members in general)

ARCHETYPES;

12 common archetypes

8 archetypes for male/female characters

female archetypes (goes pretty indepth from two main categories)

a list of archetypes

NAMES;

how to name your character

random name generator

most common surnames

surnames by ethnicity

APPEARANCE;

tips for better design

basic appearance generator

pinterest board for character design (includes NSFW and images of skeletons/exposed muscle (?) so tread carefully!)

clothing ref masterpost

Clothing generator

Another clothing generator

More clothing generator

Aaaand even more

Steam punk clothing

Char Style preference

Dress Generator

OTHER DETAILS;

give your character better powers

a list of professions

proactive vs reactive characters

positive and negative traits

interest generator

skills generator

motivation generator

123 ideas for character flaws

list of phobias

Oh shit someone died

Backgrounds and stuff? yep

Quirks

Personality. you need that shit

Need something fandom related?

City generator hell yeah

location? got ya

World-building?

make your own god damn laws

Landscape.

Need Item names?;

Fantasy/sci-fi/etc. medicine names

Stuff to make things more interesting.Weapons, clothes, treasures… whatever your characters need.

Item & Artifact Generators

Other story/writing stuffs!

Genre, Plot, & Story Prompt Generators

How did your characters meet?

Fanfic plots. you bet your ass!

WAIT!…if none of that worked, then maybe you want to make a SouthPark style character?

Here!

Well, this one’s nice too~

And another..

Aaaand another!

What about Transformers Characters?;

Here’s a Transformers name generator~

And a Character builder!

UNDERTALE STUFFS GUYS;

Undertale character speech box creator!

^That link may not work, so here’s one for DeltaRune AND Undertale. Actually, it’s super customizable..So go nuts with the AUs~!

Want inspiration for an Undertale Oc?

OR a super Edgy Undertale Theory generator?

Maybe you just want to read some funny Sans Puns!

TMNT STUFFS;

How about a TMNT creator?

Or a TMNT meme generator..

If any of the links have any issues for whatever reason, HERE’S THE LINK TO THE SAME LIST I COPIED TO MY DA ACCOUNT JUST IN CASE;

http://ladyevel.deviantart.com/journal/Mega-List-for-Boredom-and-Inspiration-577571203

[ikigainn]

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS WAN!

Episode 1

Chapter 23: Bungou Stray Dogs Real

Chapter 5: What’s Inside the Locker?

Chapter 4: An Unfruitful Exchange

Episode 2

Chapter 7: Let’s Go Flower Gazing! 

Chapter 8: To the Baths!

Episode 3

Chapter 13: Operation Errand Run (this or this)

Chapter 17: Finder Kyouka’s

Chapter 32: Ranpo-san’s Day Well Spent

Chapter 4

Chapter 39: Akutagawa-kun’s Errands

Chapter 62: The Mafia Member Who Doesn’t Kill

Chapter 80: Forming a Duo With Him

Episode 5

Chapter 83: Dazai and Chuuya, Pretentious Fourteen-Year-Olds

Chapter 20: A Day in Yokohama

Chapter 65: The Boy and the Puppy

Episode 6

Chapter 53: Dazai-san’s Nail Biter

Chapter 27: If Only I Could Express My Hundred Thoughts

Chapter 25: Please Share! Armed Detective Agency!

Episode 7 (Pre-school episode)

Chapter 15

Chapter 51

Chapter 89

Episode 8

Chapter 91: Hang in There Higuchi-san!

Chapter 22: And the Tracks Go On and On

Chapter 49: Operation Body Double Nom Nom

Episode 9

Chapter 48: Dr. Yosano’s Whoopsies! Forgetfulness

Chapter 43: Miscellany On Shrimp Tails

Chapter 28: Me Drawing You Drawing Me

Episode 10

Chapter 3: Oden with the White Tiger

Chapter 102: Elevator Panic

Chapter 57: The Armed Detective Agency Beats the Heat

Episode 11 (Dark Era Episode)

Chapter 36

Chapter 97

Chapter 64

Episode 12

Chapter 71: Swap Theater

Chapter 40: My Treasure

Chapter 21: Nakajima Atsushi’s Plan

for more bsd wan’s chapters you can go here or here! also for raws, you can go here and don’t forget to click the thumbs up button when you scroll down!

love yall

[ikigainn]

here is a twitter thread and constantly updating, currently active google doc that contains the gofundmes, paypals, cashapps, etc of victims of anti-asian hate crimes, asian-owned small businesses, and asians who need financial aid. please consider donating & boosting and adding more donation links if you have them.

[ikigainn]

Last Thought

Dazai x Reader / Fluff and bad writing

It was a usual day for you and Dazai, watching the red sunset on the rooftop of the agency building. Yokohama’s lights were slowly starting to turn on, creating a beautiful sight to the eyes.

‘What a beautiful imperfect world we live in, am I right Dazai?’, you smiled softly as you watched the haunting red of the sun disappear slowly.

‘How can you find this dark world so beautiful love? I will never get you’, you heard Dazai’s soft voice from beside you.

‘It is beautiful, but beauty doesn’t mean perfection. As much as how beautiful this world is, it is also the ugliest. As long as humans exist, there won’t be a thing such as perfection Dazai’. Philosophical and deep conversations were a normal thing between you and Dazai, you loved hearing about everything from everyone, specially from Dazai’s perspective.

‘Then why do we exist my love? What’s the value of life?’ He had a distanced look in his eyes. It was rare to see Dazai like this, lost and empty. He always covered the emptiness with that mask of his. Perhaps you were the only one who thought about how awful he is in covering the deep emptiness inside him with a cheerful facade.

‘If life didn’t have any value, we wouldn’t exist in the first place Dazai. There’s a reason we exist in this awful world. The reason is simple.’ You now turned to look at him, staring into his hollow eyes.

‘And that is?’ He turned to face you as well, eyes caught with yours. The sunset makes him even prettier.

‘It is to simply live Dazai. Live through the ups and downs, and finding who we truly are. Meeting our enemies and loved ones. Trying to make beautiful memories and forget about the bad ones, so that when we leave this world, we leave without any regrets’. You brought your hand to his bandaged one and held it softly like fragile glass. He may not understand what you mean now, but you’re just happy to be here in this moment with him.

‘You’ll probably not understand what I mean, nor I’ll be able to save you from the dark holes in your mind. But know that as long as I’m here, I’ll be here for you. And I’m sure that when I leave this world, you’ll be the last thought of mine, and I’ll never regret loving the broken pieces of you’. You were always the one who’s more open with words, you wanted to make him feel the unexplainable emotions that you felt.

Dazai got closer to you, his eyes now shining with life perhaps? He didn’t show his emotions often, but you felt them with every single touch of his. He wrapped his arms around your waist, igniting sparkles to your heart. ‘When I die, you’ll be the last thought on my mind as well’, he smiled softly with those lips of his, and brought them to your forehead, lips pressing affectionately and firmly. As he brought your head to his chest, you heard the comforting heartbeats of his, indicating that he’s still here with you.

‘You make my world more beautiful my love’, he whispered in your ear.