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Rodolphus: I can't believe how jealous you get!

Bellatrix: Oh! So you think I'm ugly?

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Draco: Ballet? What a stupid thing to do

Narcissa: Actually, your father used to take ballet lessons

Draco: Great

Draco: Another image to keep me up at night

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Bellatrix: Why did you invite me here?

Draco: We didn't

Narcissa: You invited yourself

Lucius: No one likes you

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Rodolphus: To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't just about horses, I lost interest

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Bellatrix: Hello Narcissa. I just stopped by to bring you this gift

Narcissa: Fizzing whizzbees? Thank you

Bellatrix: Now that you're in my debt ...

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Bellatrix: What is it called when you look around and you're not filled with a festering rage?

Narcissa: Being moderately happy?

Bellatrix: That's it!

Bellatrix: I am moderately happy

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*family game night*

Bellatrix: It's a white flag and you may as well start waving it right now, Bellatrix!

Narcissa: The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother

Rodolphus:

Lucius: Good lord

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Narcissa: When somebody dies, you're not supposed to cook

Draco: Why not?

Narcissa: Because you're not supposed to cook when you're sad

Draco: Are you sad all the time, Auntie Bellatrix?

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Bellatrix: I guess I'm too tough to cry

Narcissa: Just today you were crying about snakes

Bellatrix: They don't have any arms!

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Narcissa: Help me with this crossword puzzle. I need a six letter word for disappointment

Bellatrix: Lucius

Narcissa: ... it fits

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Bellatrix, to Lucius: I'm going to date your father, and then I'm going to marry him, and then I'll be your stepmother, and then I will forbid you from dating my sister!

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Narcissa: How's your maid of honour speech going?

Bellatrix: Great! I'm starting with humorous anecdote about how you were so nervous on your first date you didn't realize your nausea was from food poisoning until it was too late

Narcissa: I'm uninviting you from my wedding

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Rodolphus: Are you courting yet, Draco?

Bellatrix: Don't be rude, Rodolphus, of course he isn't

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Rodolphus: Are you mad?

Bellatrix: No

Bellatrix: So sharpening knives at 2AM is just a hobby?

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Rodolphus, to Lucius: So should we two bad bastards hook up or what, then?

Lucius: What

Rodolphus: Would you be my mission partner please?

Lucius: ... Sure

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Lucius: There isn't anything you can say to stop me!

Bellatrix: Oh yeah? What if I said ... blargen fediddle no-hip?

Lucius:

Lucius: Well I'll admit, that slowed me down

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Lucius, to Narcissa: You, you're unhinged! Lucius, to Draco: You, you're demented! Lucius, to Bellatrix: You… you're just you!