#source: malcolm in the middle

[dead-sane-stuff]

* Damian telling some story*

Jason: That is such bullshit

Damian: NO IT IS NOT

Y/n: Jason, if Damian says it's true then who are we to believe otherwise

Jason: Oh Okay, but no one believes me when I say I beat the last level of Mortal Kombat.

Y/n: Because that's just ridiculous Jason, no one beats Sub-Zero or Kronika

[incorrectquotesfromthelighthouse]

Rook: [bursting into room] Who wants to make 5 gold? Harding: How? Rook: I need someone to take the fall. Emmrich: [from outside] Oh my god... Harding: What did you do? Rook: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Emmrich: Oh. My. GOD! Harding: ... Make it 10. Rook: [relieved] Done. [opens the door] Emmrich: OH MY GOD!!! Rook: [to Harding] You're a good friend. Rook: [drags Harding out by her collar] I got her, Emmrich! I got her, don't worry!

[textsfromthetva]

Incorrect Loki Quotes [252/?], aka the last Halloween-themed post this year

[oceanview15]

Tim, running into the room: Who wants to make fifty bucks?

Dick: How?

Tim: I need someone to take the fall.

Dick: What did you do?

Tim: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Alfred, from the other room: Oh blimey!

Tim: ...

Alfred: OH MOTHER MARY!

Dick: Make it a hundred.

Tim: Deal.

[hyper-fixated-delusions]

Y/N [Bursts into Billy and Tommy's room.]: Who wants to make 20 bucks? 


Tommy: How? 


Y/N: I need someone to take the fall. 


Wanda, from the other side of the door: Oh, my God... 


Billy, horrified: What did you do? 


Y/N: I can't tell you. Yes or no? No questions asked. 


Wanda, getting a little louder: Oh, my God! 


Tommy: Make it 40. 


Y/N: Done. 


Wanda screaming: Oh, my God!!

Y/N whispering: You're a good son. [drags Tommy out by his collar.]

Y/N: I got him, honey! I got him! Don't worry.

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Natasha: *Bursting into the kids’s room*

Natasha: Who wants to make 5 bucks?

Billy: How?

Natasha: I need someone to take the fall.

Wanda, from outside: Oh my god…

Tommy: What did you do??

Natasha: I can’t tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Wanda: Oh. My. GOD!

Y/n: …Make it 10.

Nat, sigh in relief: Done. *opens the door*

Wanda: OH MY GOD?!!!

Nat, turns to Y/n: You’re a good daughter.

Nat, drags her by the collar: I got her honey! I got her, don’t worry!

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Barty: Seriously, all you do is bitch. Regulus: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

[the-black-bulls]

[Luck is holding a spoonful of pudding, mouth open, looking striaght at Magna's eyes]

Gordon: [to the camera] It'd take hours to explain the psychology of this event, so I'll just simplify.

[points to Magna]

Gordon: Dynamite.

[points to Luck]

Gordon: Kid with matches.

[roguefankc]

(The Dagger Squad are all in the rec room in Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Tom "Iceman" Kazansky's house, watching the TV when Maverick runs into the room in a panic, before quickly closing the door behind him before leaning against it, worried)

Maverick: Who wants to make 100 bucks?!

(The Daggers look at Maverick with suspicion and confusion)

Callie "Halo" Bassett: How?

Maverick: I need someone to take the fall.

(Iceman is heard from the next room)

Iceman (shocked): What the fuck?

(The Daggers are now more confused)

Robert "Bob" Floyd: What did you do?!

Maverick (desperate): I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

(Iceman is heard from the next room, now louder)

Iceman (angry): What the fuck?!

Jake "Hangman" Seresin: Make it 500.

Maverick (instantly and relieved): Done!

(Maverick opens the door, and now Iceman is heard screaming from the next room)

Iceman (in terror and horrified): WHAT THE FUCK?!

(Maverick places his hands on Hangman's shoulders)

Maverick (grateful): You're a good man, Jake Seresin.

(Maverick then grabs Hangman by the collar of his shirt and drags him off to the next room to Iceman while the Dagger Squad watches wordlessly)

Maverick (yelling to the next room): I got him, Ice! I got him, don't worry, honey!

[verycorrect-tbbquotes]

Wrecker: You’ve never read the paper?

Omega: No.

Wrecker: Not even comics? Like Peanuts. You’ve never read Peanuts?

Omega: Nope.

Wrecker: Are you serious? You’ve never read Peanuts?

Omega: Uh-uh.

[cut to Wrecker holding a football while Omega gets ready to run at it]

Wrecker: Go ahead. I promise I’ll hold it.

[incorrect-spiderverse]

Peter B Parker: "Don’t you realize you could die?"

Miles: "I’m not going to die. I’m fifteen."

Peter B Parker: "And so you can’t die?!"

Miles: "I just don’t see it happening."

[adastra121]

Leander, bursting into the room: Who wants to make five bucks? Kuras: How? Leander: I need someone to take the fall. MC, voice muffled: *from downstairs* Oh my god. Vere: Well, this should be interesting... Mhin: What the fuck did you do? Leander: I can’t tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. MC: *increasingly upset* OH MY GOD. Ais: You just need someone to take the fall? Leander: *nods* Ais: ...Make it ten. Leander: Done. MC: OH. MC: MY. MC: FUCK! Leander: *to Ais* You’re a good friend. Leander: *shouting to MC* I got him, MC, don’t worry!

[incorrectquotesfromthelighthouse]

Solas: All you do is bitch. Rook: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

[textsfromthetva]

Incorrect Loki Quotes [234/?]

[incorrect-mcdanno]

Danny: At what age do you just accept that your life is a rotten piece of garbage and always will be? Steve: Thirty-two.

[ordo-core]

Kal & Cadet Nulls

Kal: Lads. Do you know what empathy is? Ordo internally: (I don't know the answer… I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER!!!) A'den: No? Kom'rk: No. Prudii: No… Jaing: Uuuuuuh nope. Mereel: Drug? Kal: Kal: Empathy is putting yourself into other people's shoes so you can feel the way they do. If you hurt someone, empathy makes you hurt, as well. Mereel: Then why would you want empathy? Kal internally: (They have no more sense of right and wrong than a tree frog)