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Nerdanel: When was the last time you told me you loved me?

Feanor: Look, I told you the night of our wedding that I liked you. And don't be talking about love around the kids, they'll grow up into weirdos.

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Luthien: Daeron?

Daeron: Yes Luthien?

Luthien: I miss Beren

Daeron: I don’t

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Celebrimbor: Father I thought you’d be happy for me

Curufin: What did I tell you about happiness?

Celebrimbor: It’s for mortals and loved up hippies from Doriath

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Fingon: This sounds like a very risky and gay plan

Maedhros: So this will be our course of action?

Fingon: I thought that was an obvious answer

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Finrod: Have you done anything bad recently? Anything wrong?

Celegorm: Wrong?

Finrod: Yes Celegorm, wrong. You remember right and wrong, the difference between the two?

Celegorm:

Finrod: Honestly, Tyelkormo! This is very basic stuff. What is wrong? Give me an example of something that’s wrong.

Celegorm: Give me a second. I, uh-

Finrod: Arson - there’s one... Stealing.

Celegorm: Stealing, yeah

Finrod: Anything else?

Celegorm:

Celegorm: Kinslaying?

Finrod: Well done! Yes!

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[During the fall of Gondolin]

Ecthelion: Since this looks like the end, I just wanted you to know you’re not really the two people I wanted to die with.

Duilin: Same here

Egalmoth: Actually, I’d always planned on the three of us being buried together in a tomb.

Ecthelion: If we get out of this alive you and I need to have a serious talk

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Orodreth: I'm a bag of anxiety but I'm also dense as fuck which is a great combination in social situations because when I screw up it comes off as sheer confidence

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*Elrond and Elros do something stupid*

Maglor: What’s wrong with those boys? I’m telling you, Nelyo, they get it from your side of the family.

Maedhros: What are you talking about they're not even our sons

Maglor, sighing sadly: I know

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Celegorm, holding a cat: stinky

Celebrimbor: No! Don't be mean

Celegorm, gently swaying the cat: stinky bastard man

Curufin, not looking up from his anvil: naughty boy, brat cat

Celebrimbor, on the verge of tears: NO!

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Beor: It must be nice to be rich instead of having to develop a personality

Finrod: Shut up!

Beor: Buy my silence

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Annatar: Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you

Celebrimbor:...

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Finarfin: You two are like sons to me

Finrod: I don't want to scare you, but we are your sons.

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Ecthelion: I think we're slowly starting to phase the "B" out of our bromance

Glordindel, down on one knee with a ring: I mean yeah I guess

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Glorfindel: Why am I covered in bruises?

Ecthelion: You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny you your happiness

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Turgon: Can I still have a panic attack?

Fingon: Yes but do it quietly

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Maedhros: I’m just saying that the plan was genuinely dumb, as many of my plans are, I now realise.

Maglor: What about your speech about “I have the grace of a falcon, and I’ll be in and out like a demon’s whisper”?

Maglor: You stood up on a chair and said that speech for everybody.

Maedhros: It was a damn good speech. It was very persuasive, but I regret it now.

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Eärwen: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant a conch shell!

Finarfin, struggling to keep hold of a seagull: You should have said that then!