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bones: you can't just--you have to have--there are boundaries--to science--and people's bodies--and common sense--and... when this all goes horribly awry i will be in my room. with the door barricaded. having a drink.  kirk: i'd like a drink too!  bones: THEN MAKE YOUR OWN!

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kirk: i'm a flirting machine with no off button bones: your hubris will be your downfall kirk: kind of sexy of you to say that

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kirk: i'm afraid no other fruit tops mangos. they're the best uhura: what do you know about topping? kirk: this was so uncalled for??

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kirk: you can love someone and still admit when they're wrong. kirk: i love spock but i acknowledge his flaws (he has none) and i can hold him accountable for his wrongdoings (he has never done anything wrong in his life) and call him out on his actions (which are always right)

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kirk: some people complain. others get the job done bones: complaining while getting the job done >>>>

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kirk: can we date? spock: no kirk: we will

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[kirk learning that spock was unable to complete kolinahr because of him]: that's that me espresso

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bones: you shouldn't fuck spock kirk: shouldn't doesn't mean i can't!

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bones: do you want your popcorn salty or sweet kirk: i would like it like spock <3 bones: we do not have ugly popcorn

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kirk: bones, you're alive! bones: only on the outside

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kirk, to spock: contrary to what you might think, I don't want to talk about my feelings either. just know that, I love you. I love you, and every decision I make, I am operating under those parameters.

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kirk: i need relationship advice bones: break up with spock kirk: at least listen to me first

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bones: jim kirk's got half the galaxy pinin' for him and he decides to fall in love with a damn vulcan. sounds about right.

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Spock, over comms: Doctor McCoy, do you have the emotional capacity to hear some potentially concerning or alarming information about the Captain? Bones: huh? Spock: Okay. Jim passed out on our mission and needs someone to pick him up and get him medically checked out. Bones: Oh my god why wouldn’t you start with that holy shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?

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bones: I would like to punch Spock. I open with one trillion credits. kirk: this isn't an auction and we aren't punching anybody bones: two trillion credits.

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kirk: how is it that you always manage to come up with the worst case scenario? bones: I practice.

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kirk: hey guess what bones: bitch the way you live, i have no fucking idea