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Sass: Today at 7 am, Jay poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Sam: I watched Jay brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Sass: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

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Sam: So, Flower is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Alberta: Why? Sam: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row. Flower, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

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Sam, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots. Hetty, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

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Sam: Your future self is talking shit about you right now. Jay: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

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Pete, near tears: Please, Jay, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

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Jay: And here we see Flower and Pete in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. Flower: Gaelic bread. Pete: Grueling brad. Flower: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

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Pete: Sam has never seen Star Wars? Jay, the only people in the universe who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s cause they lived them, Jay! That’s cause they lived the Star Wars!

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Jay: If you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all of you equally! Jay, earlier: I don’t care for Trevor.

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Alberta, on the phone: Oh, hey man! Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.

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Flower: I just drank a lego piece. Alberta: ...what the hell?! You melted plastic and drank the liquid? Flower: Yes. Alberta: Why did you even melt a lego in the first place?! Flower: Because it looked like chocolate! So I drank it! You know, like a chocolate shake?

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Hetty: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense. Trevor: I’ve got plenty of common sense! Trevor: I just choose to ignore it.

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Sam: How are you so calm?! Jay: I’ve passed beyond “stressed”, beyond “hysteria”, into the gray misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.

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Hello! I was wondering if you could start tagging your posts with only the characters mentioned in the quotes, instead of the whole cast. It would be helpful for organizational purposes.

Thank you!

Of course!

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Pete, talking about Flower: Is this a friend of yours, Hetty? Hetty: Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

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Sam: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween! Jay: That doesn't exist. Sam: Not with that attitude.

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Sam: If you see me talking to myself, go away! I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting!

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Trevor: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*