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should i be scared this kind person is going to show up in my house and kill me?

Top Gun + The Onion

(Inspired by this post)

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Rooster: I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Hangman: I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Rooster: Yes.

Hangman: ...Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

(x)

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Phoenix: So what's it like dating Hangman?

Rooster: Once, I asked him for a glass of water while he was pissed at me, and he brought me a glass full of ice and said "wait"

(x)

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Phoenix: Love is weakness. It's an evolutionary mistake.

Rooster: You're literally making a valentine's day card for Bob right now.

Phoenix, pointing a glue gun at him: You're on thin fucking ice, Bradshaw.

(x)

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Top Gun + text posts (5/?)

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Top Gun + The Onion

(Inspired by this post)

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Phoenix: Meow?

Hangman: Meow.

Phoenix: Grown ass man.

Hangman: Bitch!

(x)

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Bob, slowly takes off reading glasses:

Bob: Wow...

Fanboy: haha... what?

Bob: you're really blurry.

(x)

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Rooster: How do I make a date really romantic?

Phoenix: Be mysterious.

Rooster: Okay!

*Later, while on a date with Hangman*

Hangman: So where are we going?

Rooster: None of your fucking business.

(x)

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Rooster: Can I sleep in your bed?

Phoenix: Rooster, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to herself* the Queen.

(x)

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Twisters ‧ 2024

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Hangman: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Coyote: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

(x)

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Maverick: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Rooster: One... two... three.

Maverick: ...

Rooster: ...

Maverick: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

(x)

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Fanboy, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Phoenix, not looking up from her book: Really? Bob, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

(x)

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Top Gun + text posts (4/?)

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Bob: So is this whole thing between Rooster and Hangman supposed to be a secret?

Phoenix: Not really? I mean the only people who don't know are Rooster and Hangman, so go figure.

(x)

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Hangman: Want to help me commit a felony?

Coyote: What the hell??

Hangman: Sorry, my bad.

Hangman, whispering: Want to help me commit a felony?

Coyote, whispering: Of course dude, what do you need?

(x)