incorrectgoodomenss - Tumblr blog

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Crowley, having been threatened with torture: horrors beyond your comprehension? Skill issue. I comprehend these horrors just fine.

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Crowley: “are you a boy or a girl” I am the physical embodiment of suffering

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Crowley: How do I look?

Aziraphale: Like a cheap harlot.

Crowley: Cheap?!

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Aziraphale, in Job’s basement: I hate eating around other people I’m not domesticated

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Nina to Crowley: putting another cup of coffee in your anxiety riddled body queen?

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Crowley: Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not

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Crowley: If God didn’t want me to deeply unbutton my fancy little shirts, then A, she would not have invented buttons to be unbuttoned in the first place, and B, she would smite me right now.

Crowley, pointing up at the sky and waiting: …

Crowley: Okay, we’re good.

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Shax: What do you call that folder where rubbish emails go?

Aziraphale: Junk.

Beelzebub: Spam.

Jim!Gabriel: Jam.

Crowley: Spunk.

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Aziraphale, seeing Crowley walk in: So, do I have a husband or a wife today?

Crowley: Since you ate the last slice of pizza you have an enemy.

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Aziraphale: I like a person who’s environmentally aware.

Crowley, pointing out the window: That’s the sun.

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Aziraphale: I’m going to make one of those diagrams that use circles

Fräulein Klauschmidt: Venn?

Aziraphale: I don’t know, maybe tomorrow.

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Aziraphale: If I killed someone, would you turn me in?

Crowley: No, but I’d use it against you all the time.

Crowley: I’d be like ‘are you gonna do the next miracle, or do I need to make a phone call?’

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Aziraphale: I’m not only an angel, I’m also forklift certified.

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Crowley: Of course, the best part of anyone's corruption arc is their cool new outfit

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Crowley: Sitting on and touching warm rocks... now that's the good stuff...

Muriel: Are you... a reptile?

Crowley: What are you, a cop? Mind your business.

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Crowley: On a scale from 1 to 10, how annoyed are you with me right now?

Beelzebub: 8.

Crowley: I can do better than that.

[incorrectgoodomenss]

Aziraphale: Um, I’m pretty sure that’s not nice, Crowley

Crowley, glueing pennies to the pavement: Um, I’m pretty sure I’m a demon, Aziraphale