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Mahito: Look inside yourself. What do you see? You should at least have a few lungs. Kenjaku: A few. Mahito: Give or take.

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Gojo: Dessert of the day implies another, possibly even seductive, dessert of the night.

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Gojo: Sometimes I’ll just wake up in the morning and… I’ll be looking at Utahime in the early light while she’s asleep… Gojo: …And I’ll drag this shoelace across her face and I’ll yell “UTAHIME WAKE UP THERE’S A BUG ON YOUR FACE!!!” Gojo: She usually wakes up screaming.

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Gojo: Don't worry, if there's any sign of trouble, then I'll come running! Yuuji: What's a sign of trouble? Gojo: Your agonized screaming!

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Geto: This is the worst day. I think I’m gonna go wander out in the rain for a while. Manami: But sir, it isn’t raining. Geto: Wow, I can’t catch a break, can I?!

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Yuuji: Know any good books? Megumi: Megumi: I don't think you're ready for this conversation.

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Geto: Do you know what it's like… to be afraid of yourself?! Gojo, having flashbacks to the time he ate four family-sized bags of gummies in one sitting: God, dude, I sure do.

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Gojo: Now what do we do? Yuuji: Improvise! Megumi: Why do we always have to improvise?!

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Mahito: I've done nothing wrong. Mahito: Except for all the atrocities. Mahito: Besides that, I'm innocent!

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Yuuji: A baby’s laugh is literally the most adorable thing you’ll ever hear. Junpei: Unless it’s 2 AM. And you don’t have a baby.

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Therapist: I believe you said that your childhood experience was satisfactory? Megumi: No, you misheard me, I said it was ‘sadness factory.'

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Nobara: How do we get out of this situation? Yuuji: Oh, I know! In Scooby Doo, secret tunnels are always behind shelves and things. Megumi, sighing: Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of Scooby Doo?

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Megumi, hitting the wrong speed dial: You're in a realm by yourself, the laughingstock of your village. You're a comedic vessel that has no port or harbor, a joke of a wanderer with no destination. You— Yuuji: Uh? Megumi: Megumi: This isn't Gojo, is it? Yuuji: Nope! Megumi: *hangs up*

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Geto: I know that from the outside, it seems like I have everything together. Shoko: No, not really.

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Gojo: If the multiverse theory is true, then there’s a universe where it isn’t. Geto: Multiverse theory doesn’t cover paradoxical situations. Gojo: Except in the universe where it does. Shoko: I’m getting a headache.

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Utahime: Isn't it amazing what siblings learn from each other? Mai: I learned a lot from Maki because she makes so many mistakes.

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Gojo, seductively: Am I a bad boy? Nanami, deadpan: Yes, you’ve been bad. Gojo, still seductively: Oh yeah? How bad am I? Nanami, still deadpan: You’re a fucking nightmare, to be honest.