incorrectmonkiekid

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Lady Bone Demon: You’re just upset that my presence is haunting and off-putting and yours isn’t.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Monkey King, talking about Spider Queen: Love my terrible wife who wants to kill me so bad.

Monkey King: I come home from work every day and narrowly dodge one of her many death traps. When we eat dinner I’ll smile and say “poison again?” and she will shrug mischievously but we both know it is very much poison.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Tang: When you yell at me, I see love in your eyes.

Pigsy: Stick to the subject.

Tang, in a sing-song voice: You love me!

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Pigsy: Now just blow out your candles.

MK: Okay, great. Great idea, dad. I’ll blow out my candles.

MK: *blows out the candles*

MK, whispering to Macaque: I wished you would leave.

MK: Damn it, I shouldn’t have said it out loud. Now it won’t come true.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

me when i haven’t posted on this account since march 2023,, incorrectmonkiekid comeback era (i’m gonna 100% forget this account again)

[incorrectmonkiekid]

MK: I think people should have mascots. Mine would be a golden retriever wearing sunglasses and holding a beer.

MK: I have been informed this is called a fursona.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Pigsy: It’s two am and I just split olive oil on my bed. Nowhere else to sleep.

Tang: Why do you have olive oil in bed?

Pigsy: I was making bruschetta.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Sandy: What movie is this?

Pigsy: I love you man.

Sandy: I love you too, but seriously what’s the movie called?

Pigsy: I LOVE YOU MAN.

Sandy: I LOVE YOU TOO BRO.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

MK, talking about Monkey King: My mentor fell for a nigerian prince by-mail scheme and then fell for ANOTHER one the following week because he reasoned “they couldn’t both be fake”.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Monkey King: Do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else is fast asleep and just walk places and to be completely alone and entirely dedicated to your thoughts.

MK: Yes but the problem is I don’t want to get murdered. You feel me.

Mei: I feel you.

Nezha: We all feel you.

MK: Why are so many people touching me?

Red Son: This is why you don’t walk around in the middle of the night.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

i appreciate people liking my stuff and all but please don’t like nearly every post i’ve made in one go!! my notifs are blowing up /lh

[incorrectmonkiekid]

MK, talking about Pigsy: My father is forty four next year. He didn’t fight two world wars for this sillyness.

Red Son: The first world war was nearly one hundred years ago. How did your father fight in that?

MK: He didn’t, as I just said.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Sandy, post-to catch a leaf: Oh. Oh, that’s bad. Tell you what, instant regret. I cannot believe I did that. Talk about losing your cool, Sandy.

Sandy: You’re gonna have a lot to talk about this week in therapy! Right? Eh…

Sandy: “Did you lose your cool?” “A little bit, doc. A little bit I lost my cool.”

[incorrectmonkiekid]

MK: Remember when you kicked me off of my bike and threw it in the river?

Red Son: BECAUSE your bike had a nuclear timebomb attached to it that would have exploded you. You’re welcome!

MK: YOU STOLE MY CANDY.

Red Son: And that’s because the brand of candy you had had just been recalled for containing poison. You’re welcome again.

MK: Remember when you pushed my grandma down the stairs and burned my house?

Red Son: I was just being a hater that day I can’t lie.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Mei: Okay, before we go in, remember you have to pretend to be surprised.

Red Son: How’s this?

Red Son, in a cheery voice: Oh my god, it’s so much worse than I imagined!

Mei: The energy was great, but the message was flawed.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Sandy: How do I stop loving pirate music?

Mei: What is pirate music I’m crying.

Sandy: You know. Yo ho ho sounding music.

Sandy: Straight up pirate shit.

Mei: I can’t live like this.

[incorrectmonkiekid]

Monkey King: Drink water.

MK: On it boss.

Macaque: Now spit the water out.

MK: What do you people want from me?