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Ozzie: Define “dream”.

RJ: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.

Heather: That’s too dark!

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Stella: Hey guys, today RJ pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to put them down.

Stella: The benefits of killing them are that I would get pushed way less.

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Stella: Murder literally doesn’t hurt anyone!

Verne: What are you talking about? Of course—

RJ, holding out a hand to shut Verne up: No, no, they have a point—

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RJ: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry.

Ozzie: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

RJ: You have to teach Heather how to drive.

Ozzie: ...put the band-aid back on.

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RJ: Any questions?

Verne: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

RJ: Uh, a plan, duh...

Heather: Verne, chill, I know it’s weird, but RJ has a point.

Verne:

Verne: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

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Heather: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Hammy ate an entire tube of lipstick.

Hammy, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

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Damn, been a hot minute since I’ve referenced over the hedge on here sooo headcanons for New Years!

RJ’s resolution is to finally try being more open about himself. It’s about time his family learn about him more…then again he’ll be ready when he’s ready.

Verne’s resolution is to try and not worry as much. He’ll fail within the first three days the minute RJ gets an idea.

Hammy doesn’t have one because he doesn’t have time to think about one.

Stella’s resolution is to actually try accepting herself more. The way she will do is that she’ll ask everyone if they’re cool with her, and if they’re not, she’ll spray them. The resolution was completed in less than an hour.

Ozzie’s resolution was to protect Heather more.

Heather’s resolution to was to have some independence. Both these failed for obvious reasons.

Lou and Penny’s resolution is to be good parents. Personally I’ve would’ve chosen have a personality. They succeed on being parents, and still lack a personality.

The Kids’s resolution is to beat Grand Theft Auto V…they just need an XBOX and a working TV. They still haven’t found the cables needed.

Tiger’s resolution is to continue to establish his claim as royal protector of the forest…or of a small portion of it. He succeeded because who wants to mess with a cat?

Vincent’s resolution is to still kill RJ. Bear’s gotta get a new hobby. Obviously he failed

Dwayne’s resolution is to get a pet and not have the urge to fire a net at it. He failed.

Glady’s resolution is to finally settle down. Yeah she failed.

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Hi! I’m just letting you all know that I’m still alive! I’ve recently gotten into baldur’s gate and managing my YouTube channel, so writing is a bit slow currently. I do have some outlines planned however, so when I can get some time, I’ll get back to it!

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Merry (late) Christmas you filthy animals

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I’m not usually a political person but this shit wild.

So a bit of background first for our international followers: Clive Palmer is one of Australia's many mining billionaires who like to meddle in our country's politics, and as such he is utterly despised by all of Australia.

Picture for context:

He is most commonly known online by the title "Fatty McFuckhead", (problematic as it may be) because he tried to sue a youtuber for $500,000 for calling him that - and he lost. So the name stuck.

Up until his most recent foray into parliament, the legally certified Fuckhead was best known for his batshit business ventures, such as attempting to build "The Titanic 2" (failed) and trying to build a dinosaur theme park (also failed, but at least nobody got eaten by a T-Rex in this one).

For a very long time Clive played the role of sugar daddy to Australia's largest conservative party, the ironically named Liberal Party, until they had a falling out in 2012 after Clive claimed there was too much money influencing politics (lol), at which point he started his own party, days after saying he totally quit and wasn't fired and he only left because he didn't want to be a distraction.

His initial run at parliament was actually kinda successful, with Palmer's group winning 4 seats, plus a member from the "Motoring Enthusiasts Party" joined them too after accidentally getting elected and not knowing what the fuck to do.

Despite this initial success however, Palmer's party (which ran on basically no platform other than "I'm rich") hit an iceberg (titanic 2 achieved) and seven elected state and federal politicians quit within the first year.

By the time the next federal election rolled around, only one Palmer party candidate was still running for re-election. The most successful of this group - Jaquie Lambie - quit to sit as an independant and is still in parliament today.

Here she is with a painting of herself strangling Clive (she sells signed copies of this)

And here the senator is posting about liking sausage:

Anyway, we're getting to the point: which is the yellow posters. By the 2016 election, just two years after forming, the party was in complete freefall. It won just 0.01% of the vote at their second election, and it was announced shortly after that Clive was quitting politics and the party was being shut down. Australia breathed a sigh of relief.

It was, of course, short lived.

Clive, in desperate need of attention, restarted the party for the 2019 election, fielding candidates in every seat and spending $60 million in advertising in an attempt to win votes.

Every single candidate lost.

It was in this campaign however that Australia really started to fall out of love with Palmer, because most of that $60 million went towards putting up the world's least compelling marketing billboards on almost every single free space in the country.

For a good six months this was basically the only thing you would see in Australia if you went outside:

Clearly Graphic design is his passion. And yes, the genius did just straight up try and copy Trump's homework while changing a few words, hoping nobody would notice.

Very quickly these all got vandalised and it seemed the ad companies didn't care enough to replace them.

We could go on posting examples, there are thousands, but the best is definitely the one Ikea put up shortly after Clive lost the election:

In 2022, Clive's party contested the election AGAIN, this time also opting to send millions on spam text messages to every person in Australia begging for people to vote for him, as well as buying almost every youtube ad for a year, at the cost of $100 million.

He won a whopping one seat.

During this election Clive ran on an anti-lockdown, anti-vax platform with the slogan "freedom, freedom, freedom". That message, however, was slightly undermined when his goons, dressed in 'Freedom!' shirts, made national news for trying to beat up a protester who turned up at a rally dressed as an annoying text message, shouting "pay your workers" at Clive.

As if that wasn't bad enough, at another rally Clive knocked himself unconscious while trying to jump up on stage, and then a few weeks later was rushed to hospital with covid, while his anti-vax ads were still in regular rotation on TV.

Utterly humiliated, the party deregistered again shortly after the election. Can't wait until he runs again in 2025.

Anyway, on the other "Clive tweeting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon" thing, we have no idea what that means but here's a screencap:

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It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

It’s been a year since I did a big oopsie.

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I’m still alive, don’t worry. Just currently dealing with a break from writing. In the meantime, Christmas headcanons.

RJ is very much into the whole Christmas is for presents deal, although he’s been trying to accept it’s not just that.

Verne surprisingly doesn’t like Christmas that much, mainly because he finds the decorations tacky. He appreciates the message however.

Hammy is still scared of Santa.

Stella won’t admit it, but she actually really likes gingerbread.

Heather and Ozzie actually really like Christmas, Ozzie mainly for the whole vibe of it, and Heather for the opportunity to listen to that epic sounding Christmas song (someone please help me find it)

Also, Heather loves All I Want For Christmas Is You, because not only does she think it’s a boo, but she can torture anyone with it.

Lou and Penny are big fans of decorating, so they’re left to do the decorating.

The kids are big on gingerbread houses.

Tiger hates All I Want For Christmas Is You the most out of everyone. Cue Heather.

Dwayne’s Christmas plans involve hunting Reindeer to harness their power.

Gladys implemented a new HOA rule that a Christmas present must be delivered to the head of the HOA (her), otherwise a fine will be delivered. It was dropped after the presents were stolen and people complained.

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Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Over the Hedge (2006) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: RJ (Over the Hedge), Verne (Over the Hedge), Hammy (Over the Hedge), Tiger (Over the Hedge), Heather (Over the Hedge) Additional Tags: Humor, Scary Movies, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Go to sleep please Summary:

After witnessing a scary movie, Hammy can't fall asleep, leaving RJ, Verne, Heather, and Tiger to try to get him to bed so they can go to bed. Will they get him to sleep? Find out here!

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Chapters: 4/5 Fandom: Over the Hedge (2006) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: RJ (Over the Hedge), Verne (Over the Hedge), Hammy (Over the Hedge), Tiger (Over the Hedge), Heather (Over the Hedge) Additional Tags: Humor, Scary Movies, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Go to sleep please Summary:

After witnessing a scary movie, Hammy can't fall asleep, leaving RJ, Verne, Heather, and Tiger to try to get him to bed so they can go to bed. Will they get him to sleep? Find out here!

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Chapters: 3/5 Fandom: Over the Hedge (2006) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: RJ (Over the Hedge), Verne (Over the Hedge), Hammy (Over the Hedge), Tiger (Over the Hedge), Heather (Over the Hedge) Additional Tags: Humor, Scary Movies, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Go to sleep please Summary:

After witnessing a scary movie, Hammy can't fall asleep, leaving RJ, Verne, Heather, and Tiger to try to get him to bed so they can go to bed. Will they get him to sleep? Find out here!

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Chapters: 2/5 Fandom: Over the Hedge (2006) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: RJ (Over the Hedge), Verne (Over the Hedge), Hammy (Over the Hedge), Tiger (Over the Hedge), Heather (Over the Hedge) Additional Tags: Humor, Scary Movies, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Go to sleep please Summary:

After witnessing a scary movie, Hammy can't fall asleep, leaving RJ, Verne, Heather, and Tiger to try to get him to bed so they can go to bed. Will they get him to sleep? Find out here!

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Ngl, when I get to the new year, I might take a small break from writing.