incorrectquotesfromthegasstation - Tumblr blog

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Online at last! Once print-only, CAPTAIN KITTEN is now available on both Gumroad and Itchio! A tale of adventure, friendship, and piracy... When the Dinosaur Empire annihilates the Catland Airship Navy, the crew of the Dread Ship Nyan must fight to survive!

Does Captain Kitten have what it takes to turn the tide of destruction? Who can she trust? Read and find out! On Gumroad: https://jemmasalume.gumroad.com/ On Itchio: https://oxboxer.itch.io/

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The gas station is closed forever because a raccoon threw up, 3 dead and 7 missing.

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Happy new year yall, thank you for still being here.

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Amy: I gave Benji a 'Get well soon' card.

Jack: That's... Uncharacteristically nice of you, I didn't know he was sick.

Amy: He isn't sick, I just think he should do better.

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Brother Riley: Gay people will literally be in timeloops

Jack: No they won't.

Jack: No they won't.

Jack: No they won't.

Jack: No they won't.

Jack: What did you do to me??

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Dr V: Describe this picture.

Jack: That's my father throwing me out of a car.

Dr. V: And this one?

Jack: You having sex with my comatose girlfriend.

Dr. V: And this one?

Jack: Aren't these normally inkblots?

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Benjamin: Do not interact if you're me from the mirror universe.

Benji: Hi lol

Benjamin: You.

Some bitch: Wait, you're black? You're not the weird white man I thought you were. This sucks.

Benjamin: Mirror beast, kill this clown!

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Jerry: I bet Nancy wasn't even that good.

Rosa: Can you stop minimizing the achievements of women?

Jerry: Sorry...

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I honestly love the idea of Benjamin just being like The bodyguard of the gas station crew now that he works there someone mess with his dumbass kids he f**** them up

I think something I like about benjamin (and benji of course) is that he doesnt seem capable of half assing things

Because like, in vol 1 he comes strapped the fuck in for whatever the town is gonna throw at him, his car is full of guns and knives and stuff, hes READY to fight. Instead of just going 'oh all i need is a couple of guns and im gonna be safe :)' he just has an arsenal ready

Then he learns that theres some kind of demon in the woods, so instead of going 'better leave town, this place is dangerous!', he goes feral and doesnt stop until he is sure that the monster is dead

So now, hes in this job with a guy who loses limbs like theyre spare change, so of course hes gonna do all he can to keep him and his store safe, is the obvious thing to do

Be like benji, never half-ass things! Just go fucking feral until the job is done!

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Jack, pointing at Spencer: Um, cut him in half.

Benji, unsheathing his knife: hot dog or hamburger style, boss?

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YES, GOOD

Jack: This next cup of coffee will fix me.

Jack: *sip*

Jack: I'm worse now

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The desire to illustrate all of these is ... large

:0!! Please do!!

Everyone has my permission toillustrate these! Just please tag me so I can see them 🥺🥺🥺

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Spencer, talking aboutthe shitty town: They hate me because im gay :/ also I have been murdering the locals but mostly because of the gay thing.

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Jack: This next cup of coffee will fix me.

Jack: *sip*

Jack: I'm worse now

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Jack: *losing his mind, breaking down after Benjamin visits him at the gas station*

Benjamin: Im feeling weird things right now, I didn't think I'd care so much if you got hurt.

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Jerry: This book changed my life.

Jack: This is a Legally Blond DVD.