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Lizzie: I expected better from you.

Rupert: Well, that was your fault, I’ve got nothing to do with that.

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Taggie: Mummy, you know Daddy better than anyone. I'm sure you'll find the perfect gift.

Maud: And you're sure its not...

Taggie: It's not a tie.

Maud: okay.

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Declan: We are screwed.

Freddie: Hey, no, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat.

Declan, with a mocking smile: We're screwed!

Rupert: There you go.

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Tony: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Rupert: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

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Taggie: Are you trying to seduce me?

Rupert: Why, are you seducible?

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Declan: How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go?? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying golly gosh isn't really going to cut it, Barbara.

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Beattie: I trusted you!

Rupert: Why?

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Caitlin: Is 4 a lot?

Taggie: Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Yes.

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Taggie: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?

Henry: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

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Declan: Rupert, we tried things your way.

Rupert: No, we didn't.

Declan: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

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Taggie: I have edge.

Cameron: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

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Declan, answering the phone: Hello?

Rupert: It's Rupert.

Declan: What did he do this time?

Rupert: No, it's me, Rupert. It's actually me.

Declan: What did you do this time?

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Taggie: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Maud: And you came to me?

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Declan: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

Rupert: And for punching me in the face?

Declan: No, you definitely deserved that.

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Monica: Just be yourself, say something nice.

Tony: Which one? I can't do both.

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Rupert: Help! I told Taggie I’d cook dinner tonight but I can’t cook!!

Caitlin, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

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Freddie: Oh and if you speak disrespectfully about my wife again, I will kill you.

[Everyone laughs.]

Freddie: My bad, it sounded like I was joking. I will actually kill you.