incorrectsptquotes

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Nevada: this is area 51, where the aliens live

California: cool

Nevada: and over there is area 69, where the aliens... uh...

California: what

Nevada:

California: what do they do there

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Rhode Island: You're tiny, always screaming for no apparent reason, do nothing all day but sleep and shit and suck.

Massachusetts, a sticky note reading "a baby" on their forehead: Am I you?

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New York: Why's it always gotta to be me, huh? It's not like Mass lives in my ass. Dude's busy

(Massachusetts appears behind them)

New York: MASS, GET OUT OF MY ASS!

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Mexico: [comes home] Hello, people who do not live here.

Texas and Arizona: Hi! Hello!

Mexico: I gave you a key for emergencies.

Arizona: We were out of nachos.

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[skipping stones on a lake]

Ontario: It's such a beautiful evening.

Québec, whispering: Take that you fucking lake.

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Oregon: And now for a gay update with Wash.

Washington: Getting gayer.

Oregon: Thank you, Wash.

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New Hampshire: Ver! Do we have a siren?

Vermont: Errm, no... But we could record you making a siren noise and broadcast that to them.

New Hampshire: Perfect! BEERRRRMMA-

Maine, quickly covering NH's mouth: No. Not doing that.

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Manitoba: This. Is. Bullshit.

Saskatchewan: Mani, don't.

Manitoba: THIS IS SUPER BULLSHIT 64!

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Ontario: Here's an option, shut your merde.

Québec: I don't think you're using that word correctly.

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New York: You're a smart ass, you know that?

Massachusetts: Objectively, I'd say I'm very smart. Although, it has nothing to do with my ass.

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Arizona: The fact is: Laska has been very happy ever since the dog arrived on the scene.

New Mexico: Listen, Ari, I know how you feel about dogs. I also know how you feel about Alaska. Sometimes, when friends are concerned, sacrifices have to be made.

Arizona: You’re saying we kill the dog?

New Mexico: No.

Arizona: Spoilsport.

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New York: You're so dramatic!

California, with a rose between their lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping themself over a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about.

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Illinois: You can control white people with cheese.

Wisconsin: Cheese is so good though.

Illinois: Got one.

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[gunshot]

Texas: So sorry. New ringtone.

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Connecticut: Did you like the food I made?

Massachusetts: No, not really.

Connecticut: But I put my heart and soul into it!

Massachusetts: No wonder it tasted cold and dead.

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Kansas: Oh, fiddlesticks.

Oklahoma: Look, I understand this is a tense situation but let's watch the fucking language.

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Massachusetts: I like having my own apartment because it means when my family comes to visit I can just say “you’re under my roof” and they can’t protest shit.

Massachusetts: Update: My dad is grounded.