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[1-25] ADORATION

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Chloe was in the middle of the final preparations for her birthday party. She was piling up plates and arranging glasses in the kitchen, quietly humming along to the music that was playing in the background when the doorbell rang. She had a quick look at her watch. “Fuck,” she muttered. She had hoped that she would have had at least another twenty minutes to get ready. She wondered who of her friends would have the audacity to turn up this early but she could not think of anybody. Most of them had a habit of being fashionably late and even her brother, who normally insisted on punctuality, had texted that they were stuck in traffic outside Slough. She adjusted her dress as she made her way to the door. She took a deep breath, eager not to let the guests know that she was slightly annoyed at them arriving early. “Oh, it’s you! Hi!” Chloe said as she opened the door to Osman.

“Yes, I’m sorry,” he said pointing backwards down the stairs. “I met your neighbour outside. Your landlady? She let me in.” “Mrs. Crawley?” “I think that was her name, yes.” He made a short pause. “I’m early, right?” “Just a little,” Chloe said as they hugged. “But it doesn’t matter, come on in.” “God, I hate being the first person at a party,” he said as he followed her into the narrow hall. “Damn, I’m so sorry. Happy birthday!” he said and they hugged again. “Thank you,” Chloe said and for a moment she thought she knew why her friend Jaz was head over heels in love with him. She had sometimes found his manners affected and a little grating but the apologetic look in his puppy dog eyes was nothing short of adorable. “...and I don’t even have a present,” he said. “Jasmin put herself in charge of that but she’s running late. She only just got off work...” Oz said as he got out of his jacket. He hung it on the rack and followed Chloe into the kitchen. “I’m not usually one for being early,” he explained. “But I came straight from work, too, and Jasmin has been pestering me for days not to underestimate the traffic and here I am.” He made another apologetic gesture as his gaze wandered over the food and drink on the kitchen counter. “And I thought that you’d said that it was just going to be drinks. No fuss. This looks amazing.” He pointed at the various delicacies in front of them. “Do you need help with any of this? Is there anything I can do?” “Oh, no thanks,” Chloe said. “This comes courtesy of the Yilmas family who run the takeaway down the road. I think I’m the main reason that place is still in business and they’ve outdone themselves tonight.” “Absolutely,” Oz agreed. “I should probably offer you a drink,” Chloe said. “In a minute,” he said. He sped back to the hall and she could hear him ploughing through his bag. “This first,” he said, waving a plastic bag with a couple of sandwiches in front of her. “My lunch,” he explained. “I’m absolutely starving. I could probably demolish most of these lovely things but that wouldn’t be very dignified.” He paused to take a giant bite from the sandwich and accepted the glass of wine that Chloe was handing to him. “And a bit unfair on the other guests.” “Busy day?” she asked as she stacked the fridge with more bottles of beer. Oz tried to make a positive sound while he chewed. “Totally crazy. That’s why I took the first chance to leave. If I hadn’t left there and then I would have ended up staying until God knows when.” “The same everywhere,” Chloe said as she poured herself a glass of wine and they clinked glasses. They spent the next few minutes talking about their stressful jobs, about ungrateful colleagues and impossible patients. “The worst one was first thing this morning,” Oz said. “Young guy with a massive ego, the typical city loudmouth.” Chloe nodded. She knew exactly what he was talking about and in her mind she was picturing a couple of Edward’s former colleagues at the investment firm. “He came in because one of his girlfriends – he couldn’t actually remember which one – had detected a bit of a lump down there.” He pointed towards his crotch. “He hadn’t paid much attention to it until it had become rather painful.” He made a meaningful pause. “I don’t normally see the patients who come in for a scan. The technicians deal with them. But he was causing a stir with the nurses and I stepped in before it got really ugly. All I can say is that his was the biggest testicular tumour I’ve ever seen in a person of that age. I took my time, showed him the scans, explained everything and put him in touch with a couple of oncologists only to have him insult me afterwards, blaming me for leaving it too late and demanding to see another doctor. A proper one.” “A proper one?” Chloe asked. “Yes, a proper one,” Oz said. “One with a proper English name.” “Jeez,” Chloe said as she rolled her eyes. “Yup,” Oz said as he chewed on the last bite of his sandwich. “Nice way to start the day.” “Quite a ballsy thing to say, given his situation,” Chloe said. They shared a laugh but she noticed that Oz was looking slightly uneasy. She wondered whether he was regretting having brought up an inappropriate topic or whether he had simply slipped back into his habit of reservedness. No matter what it was, he was clearly waiting for Jaz to arrive. In her company, he seemed a lot less fidgety and uncomfortable when it came to making small talk. “I think you’ll be glad to know that there won’t be any city types here tonight,” Chloe said in an attempt to cheer him up. “No? Now, that’s a relief.” He loosened the knot of his tie before he continued. “Didn’t your boyfriend use to work in banking?” “He did,” Chloe said. “But I never got along with any of that lot. And this is my birthday and I’d rather be dead than have any of them come into my house!” She took a big gulp of wine before she continued. “So, no bankers but, actually, quite a few doctors!” “Really?” Oz asked with a little bemusement. “Really,” Chloe said. “Well, you know Tony, Sarah’s husband.” “They are coming?” Oz asked. “They are,” Chloe said. “Both of them. Once they’ve deposited the kids with his parents.” He nodded approvingly. “And Dave and Fiona are coming, too. Dave is Ed’s best friend and Fee is an otorhino...” She was struggling to get the word right. “An otolaryn...” “An otorhinolaryngologist? Or ENT, if that’s easier.” “That’s the thing, yes.” They shared a short laugh before Oz’ face turned pensive once again. “I’ll have to cut down on the shop talk once Jasmin gets here, though,” he said. “She hates it.” “She does, doesn’t she?” Chloe said. “She’s always been paranoid about catching some rare incurable disease.” “Really?” he asked. “I never noticed.” “Oh you must have!” Chloe said. “She’s always worrying about something! Don’t tell me that she doesn’t do it when you two are together?” That was it, the spark had returned to Oz’ eyes and Chloe was amazed by the love and admiration they held for her friend. She smiled as she listened to him talking about Jaz and her quirks but her mind was wandering elsewhere. She was remembering the phone call earlier in the day. The excitement in Edward’s voice and how she had regretted not being able to see him and to look him in the eyes as he told her about his work at the community centre, about his Ugandan friends and how he was looking forward to seeing her again in a few weeks. She took a hasty drink of wine as she noticed her eyes turning moist. “...a bit bonkers, but that’s why we love her, isn’t it?” Oz said. At the same time there was a loud rap at the door to her flat and Chloe was transported back into the here and now. Saved by the doorbell, she thought as she gave Oz a quick nod and a smile and proceeded to welcome the next guests.

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[3-66] RAINCOAT

“So, what have you been up to all day?” Maria asked. It was the first thing she had said in a while and it seemed like a desperate attempt to keep up some kind of conversation – not that there had been any to begin with. She had just been sitting there, gnawing at her sandwich, providing reluctant answers to Edward’s polite questions.

He was glad that she was finally taking part in the conversation but her question had sounded half-hearted, almost accusing.

“The usual,” he said. “I ran some errands for Joe in the morning. We had the meeting of the mothers’ union in the afternoon. And we even had a bunch of tourists looking for the road to Kampala...”

Maria rolled her eyes at the last bit and he thought that he had detected the hint of a smile. Maybe this was the opportunity for a deeper conversation after all. Jette was not home yet and she had asked him about his day.

“You know, I find it difficult sometimes,” Edward said. He looked for a reaction from Maria but there was none. “I’m not quite sure what to do really. I feel that all I can do is stand back and listen. There’s not much for me to do. You know, actually, physically do.”

Maria looked up from her sandwich, a look of resignation and annoyance on her face.

“What did you expect?” she asked. “This is a health centre. You don’t have medical training. Of course there are limits to what you can do.”

“I know. But at the community centre. I thought that...”

At this moment the door flew open and Jette stormed in, beaming at Edward.

“What’s for dinner?” she asked.

“The kitchen’s cold, I’m afraid,” he said. “The power’s not back yet.” He pointed at Maria’s plate but apart from a few crumbs, she had finished her sandwich.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Jette said. “I’m starving.”

She checked the cupboard to evaluate her options and slammed the doors shut almost immediately.

“Fuck this.” She threw her soaking raincoat across the room and turned to the door. “I’m going into town.”

“In this weather?” Edward asked.

“Thunderstorm’s over.” And without saying goodbye, she closed the door and she was gone.

“That was quick,” Edward said, a little dumbfounded. He watched as Maria got up and rinsed her plate in the sink.

“I’m going to bed,” she announced, leaving him standing in the middle of the room.

“Goodnight,” he managed to say as she disappeared into the darkness of the corridor.

Edward looked around the room for a moment. Then, he bent down and picked up Jette’s raincoat and draped it across the back of a chair.

It was still way too early to go to bed and so he lit another candle. He fetched his notebook from his room and sat down to write.

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If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.

Kahlil Gibran (via quotemadness)

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[1-82] REVENGE

“So, tell me more about this guy I’m supposed to avoid,” Louise said once they had found a seat on the train to suburbia. “What was his name again? Ronno?”

“No,” Chloe said. “Ronno’s great. It’s his boyfriend who’s been a dick every time I met him.” She went on to recount a situation from the past weekend when he had managed to offend both Sarah and Jaz within minutes of meeting them.

“Yikes,” Louise said, suppressing a yawn. She seemed to be having a good long think before she continued. “You didn’t ask me to come along to this as some sort of revenge, did you?”

“Revenge?” Chloe asked. “Revenge for what?”

“You know, that time when I took you along to David’s birthday party and you didn’t know anybody there?” She waited for a reaction from Chloe but there was none. “When I hooked up with Charlie and left you all alone?”

“Oh no, not at all!” Chloe had to suppress a grin. It was true. At the time, she had been annoyed at first. Everything had changed for the better, however, when she had been introduced to Edward and they had gotten hopelessly drunk together.

“So you can promise me that you’re not going to run off with some ex-boyfriend and leave me stranded in the company of what sounds like a bunch of idiots?”

Chloe was about to make her promise but a flicker of her eye gave her away.

“Wait,” Louise said. “There is somebody you’re after. I can see it by the way you can’t stop grinning.”

“I’m not after anybody,” Chloe insisted but Louise was not having any of it.

“Well, whatever it is, please tell me now and don’t make me look like a fool in front of everybody.”

Chloe sighed. She knew that Louise had a right to know the backstory and the reason why she was being dragged to Potters Bar on a rainy Saturday night.

“I’m not chasing anybody,” Chloe repeated. “But Seb and I were an item once. Back when we were all in Brighton together.”

“I knew it,” Louise said. She raised an eyebrow to tell Chloe to continue.

“It was a quick thing. Only a few weeks.”

“But?”

“It was quick but intense.”

“Shit.” Louise grimaced. “So, what is there to know? Without going into too much detail, of course.”

Chloe shook her head. She could not suppress a snigger.

“Well, I had just moved in with Jaz and she was helping me through a bad breakup. I was really quite low when I met Seb and she warned me off him from the beginning. He did have quite a reputation but I didn’t care. I was kind of flattered that he’d put up with somebody like me and I was glad for the distraction. It wasn’t anything spectacular. We hooked a couple of times and Jaz kept telling me to get rid of him.”

“And, did you listen to her?”

“Of course I didn’t,” Chloe said. “I was having casual and pretty mediocre sex with this guy who had this reputation of being a major womanizer but it changed after two or three weeks. One night we got talking. He played me Brel and Edith Piaf and he was stunned that I knew them. Then we got talking about Victor Hugo, Rimbaud and Baudelaire and that night he made love to me. Like, he really made love to me.” She stopped to spare her friend the details.

“And things became serious?” Louise suggested.

“For me they did,” Chloe said.

“But not for him?”

Chloe sighed. “We had another two or three weeks together. Then Jaz caught him when he was drunk and he kind of told her that he’d been fucking around elsewhere all the time. She told me about it the next morning and I went to his flat and told him what I thought of him in no uncertain terms. I think he was quite stunned and it was over there and then.”

“Jeez,” said Louise.

“And I’m still grateful to Jaz for getting me out before I had the chance of becoming truly involved.”

Louise nodded without saying anything.

“We did get on really well, though, and I often wondered about what would have happened if... That sort of thing.”

“Sure,” Louise said. “How come you’re seeing him again when you say that you severed all ties back then?”

“Pure coincidence,” Chloe said. “I ran into Ronno and he’s still friends with Seb. It turns out that Seb wrote his dissertation on Baudelaire. He claims that it grew out of one of our conversations and he asked me to meet up so he could give me a copy of the book.”

“...and they lived happily ever after,” Louise giggled.

“In your dreams,” Chloe said. “He knows that he’s got no chance with me.”

“And still you’re on your way to his housewarming party...”

“I told him that I’d be bringing a friend.”

“Oh fuck off,” Louise said. “After everything you’ve just told me about him?”

“Well, he’s clever, he’s a charmer and he’s good in bed.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Are you still after that German journalist?”

“If it’s Michael you’re talking about then, yes,” Louise said. “And if things keep going well, you’ll be able to meet him when you come and visit in August.”

Chloe gave her a sceptical look.

“What’s that?” Louise asked. She grabbed her bag and followed Chloe along the aisle. “Are you scared that I’ll take revenge and drag you along to a party you don’t like?”

“I’m terrified that you’ll take me clubbing.”

“Now there’s an idea how to get back at you if tonight turns out to be a total disaster,” Louise said with a cheeky grin on her face.

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[2-69] SHATTERED

“My goodness, you look absolutely shattered,” Edward said as he met Joe, Lena and Maria, who had just returned from a two-day trip to see patients in the more remote areas outside of town.

“Thanks,” Lena said ironically and Edward was ready to apologise when she directed his attention to a young man and his mother who were sitting on the backseat of the Toyota.

“Wait until you see Irumba.” Lena turned and offered a hand to the young man. Edward made a step aside and he gasped when he saw Irumba’s face which was covered with plasters and bandages.

“What happened?” he asked but Joe, who had come to stand next to him only muttered that they would tell him later.

For the moment, Edward had to content himself with welcoming Irumba’s mother and leading the way to the community centre where he had prepared a bed for the visitors. On a table next to the entrance he had set up a snack which Prissy had prepared from leftovers from the Reverend’s dinner.

Neither Irumba nor his mother were hungry though and Maria suggested that they leave them to rest and come back to see them early the next morning. Lena and Joe decided to stay on a little longer but Edward and Maria headed home.

“What happened to Irumba?” Edward asked once he and Maria were alone.

She did not answer him straight away. She just sighed and buried her face in her hands and when they arrived at the volunteers’ house she dropped onto to the pile of cushions in the living area without saying a word. She looked as if she could go to sleep there and then but Edward did not want to let her off the hook without knowing what had happened.

He filled the kettle and got two mugs ready, knowing that Maria would appreciate a cup of tea before bed.

“Did he have another seizure?” he asked.

“He had one yesterday,” Maria said tiredly.

“It must’ve been a bad one. Judging by the state of his face...”

Maria hesitated and it was obvious that she knew that Edward knew that there was more to the young man’s injuries than a few bumps suffered during an epileptic fit.

“He lost his job at the plantation last week.” Maria took the steaming cup from him; then she continued. “He hasn’t had treatment and his fits are getting worse. He had a couple of attacks while he was at work and they fired him.”

“Who?” Edward asked. “The guy who showed us around the last time?”

“I don’t know. But it could have been him.” She took a careful sip of tea but it was still too hot to drink. “His mother told Joe that he’s being bullied.”

“Bullied?” Edward asked. “By whom?”

“His workmates. The people in the village.”

“Why? Because of his illness?”

Maria nodded thoughtfully. “They say that he is bad luck for the plantation. There has been less rain than the previous years and the crops aren’t growing as well...”

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” Edward said.

“That’s why they beat him up.”

Edward was speechless. When he had witnessed Irumba having a fit a few weeks ago, he had sensed hostility from the onlooking crowd but he had not expected them to turn violent.

“Is that the reason why Joe agreed to bring him here?”

“I think so,” Maria said. “He wasn’t too happy about it at first. The last thing he wants is for the villagers to turn against us. But Namata kept pleading. She’s terrified for Irumba. For his health and also for his safety.”

“Does he have a plan? Joe, I mean. For when they return to the village?”

“Nothing yet,” Maria said. She took a sip of tea and she looked as if she was lost in her thoughts.

“Reverend Kankunda’s going to have questions,” Edward said.

“He’s going to be livid.”

“Let him be livid.” Edward said. He gave a quick smile at Lena, who had just entered the room. He lifted the kettle as a way of offering her a cup of tea but she refused and left for her room.

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[1-42] AGITATION

“I didn’t know that you and Linda had met before,” Maria said as they unloaded the Toyota. “We have,” Edward said. “It was a nice surprise, really. I didn’t know that she was staying there.” “Well, I did tell you about her,” Maria said. “I know. I just never made the connection. You know, an English girl named Linda. I just didn’t think it was her.” They worked in silence for a while, carrying bags and boxes from the car to the community centre and to the surgery. “You seemed to be getting on well,” Maria said as they met at the car a couple of minutes later. “You mean Linda and me?” Edward asked. “Well, she’s from Manchester. My best friend went to university there.” He made a short pause and closed the boot of the car. “We went for drinks when we met in Kampala. It was nice. It was the run-up to Christmas and I was getting a little low. It was good to talk to someone from home.”

Maria gave him a blank look and he suspected that she was judging him for going out with a fellow volunteer. He felt like he needed to make it clear that he did not have any romantic interest when it came to Linda. Together, they lifted one of the heavy cases of medical equipment and set out in the direction of the surgery. “Linda was enjoying the time in the city. She showed me some of her favourite places. We had dinner with the other volunteers and we went for drinks afterwards.” Maria gave him another disdainful look. “I never actually expected to hear from her again. We exchanged phone numbers but you know just as well as I do that there’s no chance of a signal out there.” They had arrived at the surgery and they deposited the box behind the nurses’ desk so that it could be unpacked in the morning. “I felt sorry for her,” Edward continued. “She didn’t say so explicitly but she did seemed lonely out there and now that I’ve seen it myself I think that she may be. Lonely, I mean.” He let Maria pass in front of him and waited for her to lock the door. “I asked her to come and stay with us for a weekend,” Edward said when they were almost back at the community centre. “You did what?” Maria spat. “I asked her if...” “I’m not fucking deaf!” Maria said. Her voice almost sounded like a hiss and she was having trouble containing her agitation. “I’m sorry,” Edward said eager to appease her. “But I don’t see why it would be a problem if she came and visited for a couple of days...” Maria gave him a long, hard look before she shook her head. “Of course you don’t. Why would you? You only ever think about yourself! You never pay attention to the feelings of others!” Edward looked at her incredulously while she took a breath. “You can’t just invite your fucking girlfriends to our house and expect to get away with it!” Edward wanted to interrupt her but she was not to be stopped. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care about what you do. I don’t care who you hang around with. But others do! What’ll Joe say if he hears about this? And the Reverend? Have you ever thought about that?” Edward was trying to follow her line of argument but he was finding it difficult to see her point. “You really don’t have a clue, do you?” Maria asked. She sighed and sought support by leaning with her back against the door of the community centre. “The Reverend hates you being here. He hates the fact that you’re sharing the house with us. He hates the fact that you get along well with Prissy. He hates you being friends with the nurses. And don’t even get me started on Jette! He hates that she gets giggly whenever you’re near. He has a very vivid imagination...” “But I never...” Edward intervened. “To him, that doesn’t matter. You being here means that you could do all kinds of things and that alone makes you a suspect.” Edward gave Maria a defeated look. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Do you see that inviting a total stranger wouldn’t make the situation any better?” Edward nodded slowly but he was still hesitant. He knew that he was being judged unfairly and he was reluctant to cave in. At the same time, he did not want to enter into an open conflict with either Maria or Reverend Kankunda. For a moment he thought about writing to Linda and trying to explain the situation to her. He did not want to disappoint her though. Edward was almost ready to give in when he was struck by an idea. “You two get along okay, don’t you?” he asked. “Who do you mean?” Maria said. “You and Linda.” “Sure,” Maria said. “I’ve known her for about half a year.” So what if you invited her? Would that be problematic, too?” Maria’s face took on a blank expression and she remained quiet. “Or she could stay in Fort Portal and come and visit us for a day. All of us. That’s all I ever meant.” Maria gave him a stern look but he could see that she was seething inside. She opened her mouth to speak but then she shrugged her shoulders and left in the direction of the volunteers’ house. “Just... think about it,” Edward mumbled as he set out to deposit the car keys in Joe’s office.

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[1-65] NEGLECT

Chloe pushed away the pile of papers that lay on the desk in front of her. She was supposed to draft a few texts for the party’s website and have them ready for review on Tuesday morning but she was finding it difficult to concentrate.

It was Sunday afternoon, the weather was beautiful and she could hear her neighbours chatting away in the backyard.

She wanted nothing more than to put her work aside, meet up with some friends and to enjoy the glorious bank holiday weekend. She pulled up her phone and checked it for messages. She scrolled through chats and e-mails but there was not a single new message. She was reluctant to admit it to herself but she was feeling lonely.

Sunday had always been the day of the week that was reserved for herself and Edward and since he had left for Africa she had almost always managed to fill it with seeing friends or family. Not today, however. She browsed through the list of people she had last spoken to. David and Fiona were in Scotland to see his parents before the arrival of the baby in little more than a month. Jaz had been taken to meet her new boyfriend’s parents for the first time and Sarah was in the middle of hosting a birthday party for her six-year-old daughter.

For a moment, Chloe considered calling her parents but, right now, she was not in the mood to talk to her mother. She looked at the photograph of Edward that was sellotaped to the wall behind her desk. Speaking to her mother would mean pretending that she was fine, that she was not feeling lonely; that she was not feeling neglected.

For a moment, Chloe stared at the photograph of Edward. She had taken it the previous summer when they had had breakfast on the balcony of his flat and she loved how the sunlight was caught in his curls. It reminded her of happy times. Times that seemed far away now that he had been gone for more than half a year.

She took a deep breath to fight the tears that were gathering in her eyes. Once again, she tapped her phone into life. She checked the time. In Uganda, it would be late afternoon. The chances of him answering his phone were minimal and the odds of the connection being good enough to hold up a decent conversation were even slimmer.

At this point, she did not care, though. She remembered the promise they had made a few weeks ago. The only way of keeping the relationship alive was to make an effort and to try and speak on the phone more regularly.

She selected his number, tapped dial and waited for the free-line signal.

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I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

John Green

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[3-57] HOSPITAL

“Hello?” Edward asked again. He put his index finger to his left ear in an attempt to drown the noise from outside.

“Lena, is that you?” The voice of the caller was barely audible and there were constant short disturbances in the connection. He looked at the various buttons on the phone and, eventually, he found the one that put the caller on loudspeaker.

“I’m sorry,” Edward said. “The line has been terrible. Could you repeat all of that?” He still had to lean in closely to pick up everything she said but at least the crackling sounds from the receiver were gone.

“Very quickly,” Lena said. “We’re in this village. I keep forgetting the name. But they’ve got a massive passion fruit plantation and Maria says that you’ve been here before...”

“I think I know the one,” Edward said. “Are you okay?”

“We’re fine,” Lena said. “But there’s this young man. Maria says that you’ve met him. His name is Irumba and we think that he’s got epilepsy.”

“Yes, I remember him,” Edward said. He had not forgotten how he had witnessed the boy having a seizure and the villagers looking on in shock and horror.

“Well, his condition has become worse. Maria says that it’s treatable but we don’t have the means right here. He needs to be seen by a doctor.”

Edward nodded. He had known as much when he had met Irumba but the village was thirty miles from the next hospital and they had been unable to help.

“Joe is okay with this,” Lena continued. “We’re taking him and his mother to Fort Portal tonight. Could you get in touch with the hospital? Get him an appointment and find accommodation for both him and his mother? Maria thinks that he should be admitted to the hospital but they won’t take him unless they’ve seen him.”

“Okay,” Edward said, taking notes while he listened.

“But Joe says that they can stay at the community centre. Could you prepare somewhere for them to sleep?”

“Sure,” he said. “I’ll get on it straight away. Is there anything I need to know for the hospital?”

“Lena counted down some stats and details about the young man’s condition and Edward noted them down as best as he could.

“We won’t be back until late,” Lena said. “And we’ll try the hospital first. But they probably won’t see him before tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” Edward said. “I’ll try calling you later. Once I’ve spoken to the hospital.”

“Alright,” Lena said. “Thanks for everything.”

“No problem. Drive safely and I’ll see you all tonight.”

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[2-74] MIDNIGHT

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“What are you still doing out here?” Daniel asked as he stepped onto their parents’ sun terrace where Chloe was sitting on a bench close to the garden wall. “It’s past midnight. Mum and Dad are going to bed and Debs and I are ready to leave...”

“I’ll be in in a minute,” Chloe mumbled.

“Well, I was just going to say goodbye.” He stopped midsentence. “Is everything alright?”

“Fine,” Chloe said, but her brother was not going to give up easily and instead of leaving, he sat down next to her, his arm propped up on the backrest behind her.

“It’s a lovely night,” he said. “Probably one of the last really warm ones of the year.”

They looked at each other and Chloe sighed. “I’ve been thinking,” she said.

“Me too,” Dan said. “Theresa’s perm looks terrible. And she isn’t even that old, is she? I dread to think what she’ll do to herself once she turns forty...”

He looked at his sister, waiting for a reaction but she did not even smile at the well-intended joke.

“It wasn’t about that then,” he said.

“It was about Ed,” Chloe said quietly.

“I’d thought as much,” Dan said. “Did anything happen?”

“No,” Chloe said. “It’s just been tonight. It sort of highlighted how things have changed since he left.” She noticed the look of bewilderment on his face and she continued. “You know, at Christmas I was upset because everything people seemed to want to talk about was Ed and how I was dealing with him being away.”

“But that’s changed?”

“Totally,” Chloe said. “It seems like people have forgotten about him. At some point they simply stopped mentioning his name. David and Fee are the only people who talk about him every now and again. But it’s become less frequent since the baby arrived.”

“What about Sarah and Jasmin?”

“Only every once in a while,” Chloe said. “Jaz is head over heels in love with Oz and Sarah’s got the kids and the job to think about. Ally’s about to start school, they’re in the process of hiring an au-pair and she’s preparing to go back to work fulltime soon. They’ve got more important things on their minds and I understand that. It’s just sad that nobody seems to remember him.”

“What about Mum?” Dan asked. “She’s always worried that he’s doing okay.”

“Not today though.”

“Well, with all the guests, she’s probably had different things on her mind.”

“QED,” Chloe said.

“What?” Dan asked. “Oh, come on, You’ll be alright.” He moved a little closer and squeezed her shoulder. “How long now until he comes back?”

“Six weeks.”

“You see, you’ll take that in your stride.” He was interrupted by his girlfriend Debra, who put her head through the garden door.

“Here you are. I’ve been looking for you all over the place. Danny, it’s really late and I need my bed...”

“I’m coming,” Dan said but before he got up, he made sure that Chloe was alright.

“I’ll be okay,” she said, a grin slowly spreading over her face. “You go home and take care of your girlfriend. I’ll speak to you in a couple of days. Danny.” She giggled. “I’ll never get used to it...”

He rolled his eyes at her and he placed a quick kiss on the crown of her head.

“I’ve made a mental note. I won’t forget.”

[insertcleverwordplayhere]

[3-31] CALCULATING

Edward watched as the group of children around him slowly dispersed. For the past forty-five minutes they had sat and listened to him reading a story and he was amazed by how concentratedly they had followed his every word and how involved they had become in the simple tale.

He himself had found it difficult to focus on the text in front of him. As he had been reading, he had simultaneously translated potentially tricky words into expressions that were going to be more familiar to his audience. At the same time, he had been keeping an eye on the children around him as well as on the adults that had gathered at the community centre after the morning’s church service. Some of them had given him nods and smiles of acknowledgement but there had also been critical and calculating glances and Edward was preparing for the worst when he saw Joe and Reverend Kankunda walking towards him. The Reverend had criticised him in the past for becoming too involved with the locals and Edward feared that he was about to be told off once again.

“Edward,” Reverend Kankunda said as he extended his hand towards him. “Good to see you.”

“And you, Father,” Edward said as they shook hands. He exchanged a quick look with Joe but Joe’s expression was hard to read.

“I see you’ve been entertaining our children,” the Reverend said as he pointed at the book in Edward’s hands.

“I have,” Edward said. He tried to produce an apologetic smile before he continued. “Some of the children caught me reading the other day and they asked me to read something to them. I agreed but I said that I would do it on Sunday after church when more of them could hear the story.”

“Hm,” said the Reverend. He was still looking at the book Edward was holding. “May I ask what it is about?”

“Of course,” Edward said. He handed the book over and let the Reverend inspect it. “It’s an English children’s classic,” he explained. “It’s called The Wind in the Willows and it is about a group of animals who become friends and who have adventures together. It used to be my absolute favourite when I was their age.”

“Hm,” the Reverend said once again. “Do you know it, Joseph?”

“I don’t, Father,” Joe said. “But Edward has told me about it and he said that it is about nature and about friendships and about being kind and helpful to each other.”

The Reverend nodded slowly as he let his thumb run over the pages. “Well, as long as it doesn’t contain anything that could lead young minds astray? You do know what I mean, don’t you, Edward?”

“I do, Father,” Edward said. “And I don’t think that it’s unsuitable in any way.” He watched as the Reverend inspected some of the illustrations and for a moment he panicked. He thought of the chapter called The Piper at the Gates of Dawn that included references to the god Pan. He was sure that the Reverend would not approve of it and he decided to exclude that part in case he was allowed to continue reading the book to the children.

“It is set in the English countryside,” the Reverend observed. “Are you sure that our children understand what’s going on?”

Edward nodded and he smiled at the Reverend. “They do. They really do. We looked at the pictures of the animals before I started reading but then they simply used their imagination...”

“Hmm,” said the Reverend but this time it sounded as if he was approving. “Well, as long as it doesn’t keep them from attending church...”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that, Father,” Joe said.

“Are you going to continue reading it, Edward?” the Reverend asked.

“I told them that we’d continue next Sunday, yes.”

Joe and Edward exchanged a short glance and Joe started to laugh out loud.

“You see, Father, no reason to worry. As far as I know them they’ll all be back next week. And they’ll probably bring some of their friends as well, won’t they, Edward?”

“Possibly,” Edward grinned.

“Well, in that case, you have my blessing,” said the Reverend as he handed the book back to Edward.

[insertcleverwordplayhere]

There are no foreign lands. It is the traveller only who is foreign.

Robert Louis Stevenson (via itsquoted)

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[2-84] ECHOES

Was that him? Chloe squinted against the late-afternoon sun to get a better look of the man who was standing next to the pub’s entrance, his back towards her, cigarette in hand. It was difficult to see but the way in which he was carrying his slender frame was giving him away.

“I kind of hoped that you’d given up,” she said as she approached him.

He turned around in surprise and his face broke into a smile the moment he recognised her. He took a drag from his cigarette and got ready to throw it away but Chloe gestured for him to keep smoking.

He hesitated for a moment, then he smiled and pulled her towards him.

“Great to see you,” he said, holding her at arm’s length and looking deep into her eyes.

“And you,” Chloe said. Before – and since – agreeing to meet up with him she had had doubts. The relationship they had had back at university had been short but electrifying and over the years there had been several occasions when she had whished that she had not given up on them so soon.

She watched him take another drag from his cigarette. He had not changed much. There were a few laughter lines around his eyes, his hair was cut shorter and the trainers had been replaced by a pair of Chelsea boots. His eyes were as captivating as ever, though, and he oozed a mixture of great sophistication and boyish charm.

“How was your holiday?” he asked.

“Good,” Chloe said. “It was good.”

“Where did you go again? Somewhere nice and warm?”

“No, sadly. It was just a few days in Normandy.”

“At this time of year?”

“I just needed to get away for a bit. Feel the sea-breeze, that sort of thing.”

He nodded, but it was obvious that he did not understand. He inspected his cigarette and took a very long drag before he stabbed it out on the windowsill.

“Still, France,” he said. “So you haven’t given up on it completely.”

“I haven’t given up on it at all.” Chloe followed him into the pub and accepted his offer to buy her a drink. “I still go over a lot and I read more French novels than English ones, I guess. It’s just that I’ve given up on academia.”

“A wise decision,” he said as he handed her the drink and gestured towards an empty table at the back of the room.

They spent a while talking about the time that had passed since the last time they had seen each other before returning to the topic of French literature, the subject they had both studied at university.

“Before I forget...” Seb said. He picked up his satchel and produced a book whose cover contained nothing but the author’s name, the title and the publisher’s logo. “It doesn’t look like much,” he said.

“But you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover anyway.”

“Exactly.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said.

“My pleasure.” He looked as if he was eager for her to open it and check the table of contents and the acknowledgements but she was not going to do him the favour. He had obviously asked her to meet him in order to find out if she still fancied him and she thought that after accepting his invitation his ego did not need any more stroking. She was still not sure what to make of the whole situation and she feared that she could not trust her own feelings either. Whenever he looked up at her from his drink, she felt echoes of the joyful pangs in her stomach which had made her fall for him all those years ago. It was that look that feigned shyness and which some people mistook for campness. It was subtly seductive and she reminded herself to keep up her guard.

She picked up the book to stow it away in her bag but when she opened it a letter fell out and onto the table.

“What’s this?” Seb asked inquisitively. “Pen pals? I didn’t know that people wrote actual physical letters anymore.”

Chloe seethed inwardly. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss her boyfriend and him being away and she was determined not to mention any of it. She had felt guilty when she had pulled the envelope out of the letterbox upon leaving the house and she had not opened it yet. It had felt wrong then and it felt even worse now that she was looking into Seb’s bemused face.

“Well, some of us do,” she said. Then she got up and picked up their glasses, ready to get in another round.

When she returned a couple of minutes later, he grinned up at her from his phone.

“What are you doing next Friday?” he asked.

Chloe looked at him blankly. She pushed his drink towards him as she sat down opposite him.

“Seb, there’s something we need to get straight. I’ve got a boyfriend and us meeting up here is strictly for old time’s sake – but it may not be the kind of old time’s sake that you were thinking about.” She took a sip from her gin and tonic and waited for his reaction.

“Oh, right.” He seemed a little baffled but he regained his composure almost instantly. “Well, I’ve just had a text from Ronno. He got us tickets to see this great little French singer. There are people who are calling her the new Piaf. I thought that maybe you would like to come along. Maybe Sarah and Jaz are interested as well? For old time’s sake.” He paused for a second. “And the boyfriend can tag along, too, of course.”

Chloe breathed a little sigh of relief. He seemed to have taken the news very well and from the way their conversation had been going so far, she was not at all opposed to seeing him again. Maybe this was a chance for them to turn a youthful romp of a relationship into something more. Something deeper and more grown-up.

“Is it okay if I think about it?” she asked.

“Sure,” he said. He was trying to look cool but Chloe noticed his fingers nervously checking his pocket for his cigarettes and lighter. “And who knows, maybe you decide to bring along a bunch of super attractive friends who can’t wait to embark on a steamy adventure with a university lecturer.”

Chloe rolled her eyes at him but she could not help bursting into laughter at the same time.

“You really haven’t changed at all, have you?”

He gave her one of his most innocent shrugs and joined her in her fit of laughter.

[insertcleverwordplayhere]

[2-61] ACCURACY

“Why exactly do you need my help?” Prissy asked. She was carrying a heavy bag of groceries, half of it no doubt destined for Reverend Kankunda’s household, and she was walking slowly so Edward could keep up with her. He was struggling under the heavy branch of cooking bananas that he was carrying.

“With these actually,” he said as he dropped his heavy burden in front of Prissy’s stove. He pulled a crumpled piece of paper from the back pocket of his jeans. “I was thinking of cooking matoke for my friends back when I go back home.”

“Yes,” Prissy said.

“I thought that maybe you had a recipe that I could copy. I love the way you cook it and I’d like to give my friends an accurate taste of Uganda.”

Prissy gave him a curious look but she nodded her consent.

“I don’t have a recipe. It’s all up here,” she said pointing at the back of her head. “But I know what we’ll do.” She started to unpack the bag and Edward moved to the side to get out of the way.

“You can watch me preparing it and write it down as we go along.” She pulled a bunch of banana leaves out of the bag. Edward knew that they were used for steaming the matoke bananas but he had never paid close attention to the process.

“Are you having dinner with us?” Prissy asked.

For a second, Edward was flustered. He had not come to ask for an invitation but Lena and Josie were not expected back until late and by now he knew Prissy well enough to know that she would be offended if he turned down her invitation.

“If you’re happy to have me?” he offered.

“Of course we’re happy to have you,” Prissy said. “Let’s get started.” She pointed at the bananas in front of Edward. “Matoke and peanut sauce for two adults and three children. Nine bananas...”

She grinned at Edward and held out her open hands, waiting for him to hand them to her.

[insertcleverwordplayhere]

2016 - Film Journal

Archipelago | Joanna Hogg | UK | 2010 | 8.0

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[3-79] MUSIC

Chloe smiled when she saw Henry walking over to her once the meeting had finished. She was glad that they had managed to become friends after she had made it clear that she was not interested in taking their relationship any further. She enjoyed meeting him at work and their early evening trips to the pub had become a highlight of her working week.

“Hi there,” Henry said once he had circumnavigated the row of desks that had separated them during the meeting. “How’s tricks? Any closer to world domination than last week?”

“Very funny,” Chloe said while she put away the documents she had been studying. She picked up her phone before she continued. “How is it possible that after all the time you’ve been coming in for these meetings you still don’t understand that it’s not world domination we’re after...”

Henry touched her elbow and pulled her to the side so one of her colleagues could pass behind them. Then they exchanged a meaningful glance and Chloe changed the subject.

“I’m fine,” she said. “You?”

“Fabulous,” he said with the same ironic grin on his face. “I was just wondering if you were going to Hyde Park at the weekend.” He put on a puppyish expression. “Because my date stood me up and I don’t really want to go all by myself.”

“Your date?”

“Well, not a date in that sense,” Henry said. “My mate Giles decided that he’d rather take his missus on a city break to Barcelona than join his best friend and see some bands in the sunshine.”

“You poor thing,” Chloe said as they slowly walked towards the door. “Actually, I was planning on going on Sunday. I’ll be going with Jaz and Sarah is going to join us once she’s done working.”

“Me and three lovely ladies?” Henry asked. “That sounds intriguing.”

“Well, you haven’t met them and if I were you I wouldn’t address them as lovely ladies. That may come and bite you.”

“I think I’ve met Sarah, haven’t I? I ran into you when I was jogging in the park?”

“Oh, right!”

“Very briefly,” Henry said. “But I’d love to meet her properly.”

“You’ll like them both. They are just as cynical as you are.”

“Me? Cynical?” Henry asked with mocked outrage but Chloe did not answer. All she did was look at him with a raised eyebrow and a cheeky smile on her face.

“Okay,” Henry said. “I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

They passed by Chloe’s desk and he waited until she had discarded of the pile of documents and papers.

“Which bands were you going to see?” Chloe asked as she fished for her purse. She accompanied him along the row of desks and workstations towards the coffee machine at the end of the corridor.

“I haven’t made any plans yet,” Henry said. “You?”

“Pulp. Everything else is optional, really.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Henry said as he slid a few coins into the machine.

“It all depends on the others. There are a few friends from back when we were at university who may come and join us. I guess we’ll have a bit of a picnic and see what everybody wants to do.”

Henry nodded approvingly. “But you’re only going on the Sunday?”

“Yes. Sarah and Jaz are working on Saturday and as much as I respect some of the bands that are playing, I much prefer the guitar bands to all that electronic stuff that’s on on Saturday,” Chloe said as she counted out the change for the espresso she craved.

“Did I just catch you putting down The Chemical Brothers?” Henry asked.

“No. But given the choice...”

Henry rolled his eyes as he stepped aside so Chloe could buy her coffee from the machine. “And what about The Streets?” he asked. “And Aphex Twins and Kesha?”

Chloe shrugged.

“Come on, it’s going to be fun,” Henry said.

“Maybe,” Chloe said after she had taken a careful sip from the steaming cup. “But I think I need one day to regroup from this place.” She pointed in the direction of the desks as she walked over to the settee in the lobby and sank down into the cushions. She looked over at Henry, who had sat down next to her. He unwrapped the chocolate bar and took out the two pieces.

“Want one?” he asked.

“Thanks,” Chloe said as she accepted one half of the Twix.

“We’re not going to fall out over our choice of music, are we?” Henry asked.

“Of course not,” Chloe said with a cheeky grin. “We’ll agree that my taste in music is miles better than yours.”

“Oi, that’s not fair,” Henry complained. “Your taste in music isn’t better than mine. I’m simply much more forgiving when it comes to bad taste. What was it that you went to see with that friend of yours? Some French harlot howling chansons about ill-fated prostitutes?”

“Careful,” Chloe said. “She’s not a harlot. She’s Zaz and she’s great.”

“Of course she is,” Henry said. He smiled over his cup of coffee and lifted his half of the Twix as if he was about to propose a toast. “Peace?” he asked.

“Peace,” Chloe said as she took a bite from the chocolate bar and washed it down with a sip of coffee.

“So you’ll ask your friends if they’ll have me?”

“I’ll ask them but you’re coming and that’s a fact.”

“Is it?”

“It is.”

“How do you know that they’re okay with me crashing your party?”

“They’ve been pestering me to meet you for ages and this is the perfect opportunity, don’t you think?”

He hummed a response but he seemed unsure what to say next. “What exactly have you told them about me?”

“You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about,” Chloe said. She emptied her beaker and offered to take his and throw them in the bin.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet Sarah and Jaz,” Henry said. “And the rest of them; whoever they may be.” He got up from his place on the sofa and looked at his watch. “I better get back or Katie will be wondering what I’ve been doing.”

“You do that,” Chloe said. “I better get back to plotting Labour’s next attempt at world domination, too.”

“I’ll phone you for details on Thursday,” Henry said before he stepped into the lift and waved goodbye.

“Looking forward to it,” Chloe said before the doors closed and she turned back towards the corridor, towards her desk and her work.