interpol-anonymous

[interpol-anonymous]

So there's a selfcest polycule in the office. And it's all because someone got ahold of that time machine. And oh my gods they all want to work in the same office and I can ask-- let's call this person X. I can ask X for some coffee, and then X will ask their partner X to do it for me, and all of them can allegedly tell each other apart but staunchly refuse to be nicknamed or color coded, and I'm pretty sure they're doing it on purpose at this point! I cannot tolerate six people dating each other and conspiring to give me a headache. They can't even answer their collective email on time.

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[interpol-anonymous]

I am so tired of selfcest, it makes inter office relationships so tremendously hard to keep track of.

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[interpol-anonymous]

Can the person who gives me my gear for missions please stop giving me either the broken or experimental stuff?? I'd rather have normal dull boring gear. Heck, I'd rather have no fancy gadgets at all if it means they don't keep blowing up in my face!!

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[interpol-anonymous]

FRIDAY :D

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[interpol-anonymous]

My Cinderace and I were fighting some bad guys and he was able to take them all out with a single Pyro Ball! It ricocheted off of all of them! The only way it could've been more awesome was if the ball hadn't hit him in the face after all that because he was too busy appreciating his handiwork to see it coming.

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[interpol-anonymous]

I wish this one guy in my office would keep his Weezing in its' poke ball more. It floats around spewing gas everywhere and it's kind of hard to breathe sometimes.

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[interpol-anonymous]

Magical girl anon back here again. Looks like my boss was complaining about me a while back. Anyway, my partner said she'd rather keep her secret identity secret. Something about how her job might cause us problems if people found out about it. Honestly, I'm pretty relieved too. A lot of people don't really like cops, and keeping the magical girl stuff separate from that should help maintain a good relationship with civilians. It's helpful when you're getting them out of the way of a monster attack for them to not think you're trying to arrest them.

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[interpol-anonymous]

Spent a whole day feeling like shit but then I checked my pockets and there was a toxic orb in there. That explains it.

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[interpol-anonymous]

Gotta love walking away from an explosion like they do in the movies then waking up in the medical bay after a flying piece of debris knocked you out from behind...

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[interpol-anonymous]

I just had the best nap ever. Curled up on the carpet underneath my desk, pulled my coat over myself like a blanket and slept for who knows how long until someone noticed me and wanted to make sure I hadn't died. The office carpet's so soft and it's warm and cozy under the desk.

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[interpol-anonymous]

One of my best officers recently gained the ability to transform into a "magical girl". This would make her an even greater asset to the team, but she refuses to transform when there isn't a monster around. She always has excuses like "our bases will get attacked more if they know I'm with interpol" and "I might accidentally hurt someone". I talked to management about it, but they ruled heavily in her favour. Now she gets extra time to investigate magical stuff instead of my cases, and I'm not even allowed to tell anyone who doesn't already know!

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[interpol-anonymous]

Arceus almighty, I'm finally done dealing with this one mad scientist. She was... unique, to say the least. There was the fairly standard unethical gene splicing hybrid experiment stuff, of course. But then she used this research to create a bunch of eeveelution hybrid kids and start a family vlog channel on MewTube featuring them. How did she even come up with this idea in the first place???

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[interpol-anonymous]

My idiot partner decided to drink some aprijuice. While we're investigating someone for their "secret ingredient aprijuice" that can apparently bring a pokeathlete's performance beyond its normal limits. It is, as we suspected, some sort of illegal stimulant. It's definitely enhanced my partner's athletic prowess. Unfortunately they used that to chase after a wild Pidgeotto at breakneck speed and threw me across the plaza when I tried to block their path. Need to find them and convince them that perhaps the hospital is more important than catching this "Ho-oh".

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[interpol-anonymous]

I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE HO-OH BUT ITS RIGHT UN FRONT OF ME

SO BEAUTIFUL

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[interpol-anonymous]

hey yknow team rocket. those bitches decided to sprout up again in johto a while back even though that kid kicked their shit in all those years ago. and theyre stealing pokemon and shit but the amount of fucking houndoom that have gone missing????? and houndour, and mightyena, and a whole bunch of other dog pokemon. do they have some sort of dog-stealing spirit now. it's in the damn news. "Missing Dog Hysteria" or some shit. im actually gonna crash tf out i have a houndoom and im fearing for his safety

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[interpol-anonymous]

i work at a butcher shop thats suspected to be a money laundering front and someone just bought. an entire raw unfezant.

at 11:30pm.

the fuck?

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[interpol-anonymous]

Wow I'm glad I'm still in the hospital so I didn't have to deal with. that. That sucks though.

- Trevevant Guy

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