inthe-lifeof-acomplicated

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

New Plan

I’m going to do the abc diet + fasting. So essentially, the usual diet but doing a fast every other day instead of each day being low calorie. 

Monday - 500 cal

Tuesday - fast

Wednesday - 500 cal

Thursday - fast

etc. 

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

sweethorrorart

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

Alaska

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

Brandon • jjbrndn

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

->Rosé [Ysl event] lockscreens pt1

->Dont repost

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

gf vibes

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

->Rosé [Ysl/ Vogue Austrália] Lockscreens

->dont repost

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

Cozy Autumn Cottage

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

I will never get married again

it’s a different type of struggle. When you break up with a boyfriend - that hurts. When you break up a marriage - it’s debilitating. It’s confusing. It’s doubt. it’s self conscious. It’s worried about the other person, their success, their coping ability. your future sometimes. It’s hard af. It’s hard af because you meshed so much of your life with another person that you potentially will no longer mesh with. That person will become a stranger and that is terrifying. They’ve seen your meltdowns, your love, your sacrifice, your fear, your courage, your strength, your weakness, your capabilities, your bad habits, your good habits, the things you don’t want to confess to yourself. I can’t imagine what it is like for people who have kids. This other person knows everything about me, and I know everything about them (supposedly) yet, we still can’t make it work. That is the saddest thing to me. We know everything about each other and we can’t make it work.

It’s a long process though. Kudos to those ladies who file the paperwork and keep it pushing. I can’t imagine but hopefully I am in a better place this time next year. Self-worth is more important.

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

We just tried very hard to love each other.

Harry Nilsson, from the documentary Who Is Harry Nilsson (And Why Is Everybody Talkin’ About Him)? (Lober Films, 2010)

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

Subdue

I am tired of my thoughts circulating on repeat

Of attributing a deeper meaning to any of it

I’m in pain because it hurts

I cry because I’m sad

I miss you because you’re gone

Let that be enough

.

This next chapter will be chaos

I don’t need to make sense of it

Hope has often made way for disappointment

You left because you wanted to

& I wish you the best because I love you

Let that be enough

.

I am scared of this unknown future

I’ve been trying to do heartbreak correctly

& it feels like draining my own blood

I want to live through this

Without quantifying my selfishness

Let that be enough.

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

“Divorce gave me the chance to discover how much I enjoyed my own company, how much I loved having myself to myself. It gave me another gift: an empty bed. I began to realize what a high old time I was having just going to bed alone every night. The unexpected relief of that took me aback at first. Right away, even while I was still grieving over the breakup of my marriage, I loved living without a man, and in particular I loved sleeping alone, feeling no pressure at all to be sexual. 

To my great surprise, celibacy suited me. It gave me such incredible freedom, such a glorious, wondrous sense of wholeness. I relished every moment of being -for the first time in my life- sole owner of my body and my life. No wonder patriarchy wants all women to be married, I mused. It takes so much power from us. I began to feel intensely protective of my body, my energy, and my time, my talents for caring and giving. Nothing could induce me to relinquish them again to someone who could not -who had in fact been trained not to- give me so much as interest on my principal.”

- Going Out of Our Minds by Sonia Johnson

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

I’m about to be the skinniest I’ve ever been. Sorry self.

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

You say you can't live without me

So why aren't you dead yet?

Why you still breathing?

And if you say you can't live without me

Then why aren't you dead yet?

Why do you say that?

You could be here but you're not, I give whatever you want

But you just take it and run, you run

[inthe-lifeof-acomplicated]

already know all the words to this even though i just heard it for the first time two days ago 🌼 been constantly bumping since