itcouldbeyou

[itcouldbeyou]

the best feeling

[itcouldbeyou]

Me when I see tips

(I put them in my notes app)

[itcouldbeyou]

after like a week of 16:8 fasting and restricting i finally dropped 2 pounds 🥰

it was just like that, like from one day to the next ???? so don't give up your efforts will pay off i swear 🙏🏻

[itcouldbeyou]

so i was doing alright until the man i'm crazy about literally told me that my thick ass could barely fit my trousers (he meant well but doesn't know how easy i can be triggered)

so yeah I AM BACKKK

[itcouldbeyou]

🕯️manifesting🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

i will lose so much weight by the end of the year🕯️

[itcouldbeyou]

so I'm beginning a relationship with a guy I've liked for a long time and last night we were curled up watching some TV and he was like absently running his fingers OVER MY HIPBONES ????!!!?!

My ed was so triggered lol so yeah I'm definitely starving myself for him if he likes them bones 🥰

[itcouldbeyou]

I call this lunch

[itcouldbeyou]

quite a lot actually?? I'm surprised

[itcouldbeyou]

I've spent the past month in my parents house on holidays. Restricting has been near impossible and I dread the moment I'll step on a scale again and find out how much of my hard work has been undone because of my lack of self control.

Anyway, I'm kind of excited to go back to my place and start again, even if my starting point is a bit higher. I have no idea where I stand now because there is no scale in this place, but judging by the fit of my clothes I don't think it will be too disastrous (famous last words lol)

[itcouldbeyou]

so yeah, here i go

I've been struggling with my weight since I was like 12, or old enough to care about such shit.

Believe me when I say that I've been through everything. Restricting, dieting, binging, not giving a fuck, in treatment, feeling great, feeling shit, and really all sorts of things for fucking YEARS.

The thing is, the happiest I've ever felt was when I was thin. And I'm so fucking tired of pretending that I'm all acceptance and self love when in reality I want to tear myself to pieces all the time because I'm fat.

You know, I'm actually quite a successful person. I know I shouldn't feel like this, that I have been luckier than most and should feel grateful instead. But you know what else? Fuck that. I want to be thin again, more than anything else. Sometimes I feel like I would rather die than be fat and ugly any longer.

So that's it. This is the breaking point. No more self denying. For me, thinner is better and I will no longer pretend otherwise.

I will accomplish this. Whatever it takes.

🥀 HW: 68

✨ LW: 55

🌼 GW1: 60

🌺 GW2: 52

🌸 UGW: 44

[itcouldbeyou]

when the fuck are my boobs going to disappear

[itcouldbeyou]

i will go on until i am no longer allowed to donate blood (and i fucking love donating blood ???)

[itcouldbeyou]

next time we see each other i want to look so pretty and so thin that you will want to stay with me and protect me and care for me forever

[itcouldbeyou]

“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”

[itcouldbeyou]

I choose to love you in silence. For in silence I find no rejection,

I choose to love you in loneliness. For in loneliness no one owns you but me,

I choose to adore you from a distance. For distance will shield me from pain,

I choose to hold you in my dreams. For in my dreams, you have no end.

Rumi

Instagram: @solitudeismyeuphoria

[itcouldbeyou]

why is this so real like my roommate keeps saying this shit to me all the time ???

my ed loves this woman

[itcouldbeyou]

we are who we are

it is what it is

i am who i am