itsacon10

[itsacon10]

Further Adventures from the Home Office

I am, apparently, a swinger.

Court is like high school among the people that work there, so there's a lot of gossip and rumors. One of my fellow attorneys mentioned that there were rumors about me. So I asked another attorney, and she said that people thought I was a swinger. And apparently, I was doing it over a decade ago.

This is news to me. My wife says I don't have time for it because I'm too busy. Which is true.

Of course, as we were laughing about it, I had to make sure I didn't let anything slip out...like I've written pornographic fan fic, or drawn and painted some pretty explicit pictures, or what me and my wife actually get up to in the bedroom.

(The attorney who informed me of my swinging lifestyle was also the same attorney that had me look up something on my computer called 'Kinky-Con' because she didn't want her Etsy algorithm messed up and got stuff shown to her she was not interested in, because it happened to her before. There was nothing that I saw for that Con that I didn't know what it was, but I didn't say that to her.)

[itsacon10]

5 things that have made you smile in the last few days?

I just saw this (tumblr hasn't been on my mind much for a long time). I'll give it a shot, but no promises.

My wife. (Honestly, goes without saying. If it wasn't for her I don't know where I'd be right now. She makes me a better person.)

My work wives.

Taskmaster.

Constructing a ceiling medallion for my mother-in-law.

I'm not getting a number 5. It's been that shitty recently.

Thank for asking!

[itsacon10]

Further Adventures from the Home Office

This has been a real shitty year for me. Most recently, my uncle died last weekend. The funeral is scheduled for next Thursday. Next Thursday I have a trial scheduled in a neglect. Because I'm a private person, I ask to have the trial adjourned without going into the specifics, but I don't make frivoulous requests.

The request is denied. I'm livid. Part of the problem is that we have a temporary judge who seems to not want to leave anything for a new judge starting next year. While part of me appreciates that, particularly compared to the other judge where nobody can resolve cases, there's no reason for this judge to push through a trial. It's not urgent (yeah, neglect, but kids aren't even with the mom and bf, and given their substance use, not going home any time soon (also not in foster care)). There's no reason to be a jerk. Then again, this is the same judge, after nearly a year here, does not understand that the attorneys get stuck in other courtrooms ALL OF THE TIME so she can't call her cases exactly on time, or sometimes even before they're scheduled. (Admirable, but c'mon.)

Thankfully, I was able to short circuit her control of the cases by "twisting" my client's arm on a settlement and getting it removed from the judge.

But now, two hours later, and I'm still shaking and on edge. I feel like I want to cry. It's just been an awful year.

[itsacon10]

I know it's been a long time since I've drawn anything. I've been extremely busy...and then there's been my usual other stuff.

I visited the Impressionism exhibit that just opened at the National Gallery of Art. It's the first time "Impression, Sunrise" by Monet is being exhibited in the US and things lined up so, of course, I had to go.

I couldn't sit and sketch any of the works on exhibit because it was too crowded. However, I drifted through some other galleries and came across another Monet, Argenteuil

Anyway, here's my simple sketch done based upon that work.

[itsacon10]

I'm revisting this because of a kid I interviewed last night.

She's 12. I've known her about 6 or 7 years. Had all sorts of questions and she had absolutely no handle on when anyth8ng happened. I knew better than her what the timeline was and I was only getting second hand from her (asshole) parents. She also tried to describe to me what had happened that afternoon and stopped and started going back and forth in time it was ridiculous.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that kids are unpredictable in how they relate events. It's important to figure out, from an author's standpoint, how the kid is and write to their personality.

Tips for Writing More Genuine Children (Part 2/3 - Language)

Now, just before we start. I’m talking about English speaking kids, I have very limited experience with bi-lingual kids or kids not having English as their first language.

Let’s talk about how kids talk. 

Quick, general statements.  ~Kids are either dead silent or nonstop talking. It flips so quickly.  ~SO MANY QUESTIONS. ~Some kids are shy some arent. Depends on the situation/who’s around/what the kids like.  ~As stated in Part 1, kids aren’t inherently dumb but they also don’t understand because of lack of context. Their language reflects that. 

Also, development is different for some kids. Developing doesn’t reflect how smart they are, it’s just how it goes (like physical growth). In my experience, firstborns will talk more and earlier than siblings later.  

Top Tip: Watch some YouTube videos (if you can stand them) aimed at the age of the children. This kind of language on those should be used in your fics. If they’re young (under 5) find some videos teaching them how to talk on YouTube to see where they should be.

Age 0-6Months

They’re not going to be talking. Okay. Even if they’re hella smart, it’s just not going to happen. Noises are much more likely, tears and whines when sad. Grumbling when angry. Just like adults.

But, they will respond to people. If someone’s angry and shouting they’re going to understand that and react accordingly (upset and scared). Loud noises will make it cry or it’ll look for the source of it’s name being called. 

From here on out, kids are really literal and see patterns where an adult wouldn’t. An example is “daddy bye” to mean ‘dad’s leaving’. The baby isn’t saying ‘bye’ because it knows this is what we say to people leaving because it means something. There’s no reasoning behind it. But it’s said whenever someone leaves so that means that the word has something to do with leaving. This kind of thing carries on till about 8.

Age 6Months-2Years

Words! Yay!! Baby’s saying it’s first words, very often mommy/daddy or the name of their favorite toy. (Mine was Turtle). They’re not going to be using any advanced words or anything hard to pronounce. 

Around 1 and a half is when they start using sentences. Usually, this means combining two/three words to mean something else.  “Daddy bye” would mean ‘dad’s leaving’. 

Also, they’re starting to understand words. In New Zealand, one of the first words kids learn is ‘Ta’ which basically means ‘give me that’. If you said to a 1-year-old ‘ta’ when they’re holding a toy they’re going to give it. (They might not want to but not the point) 

Age 2Years-3Years

Now they’re talking! They’re going to be asking questions and responding to others. They know about 400 words at this point and can string together stories. (If they want to). This is also the stage where shyness becomes a trait in how they talk. 

It’s not called the terrible twos for nothing. This age group knows how to ask for things and what they want. While we’re on the subject, tantrums. Kids don’t have tantrums for nothing. They’re upset and they don’t know how to deal with it or express their emotions. Screaming and crying generally gets this across and the best way to deal with them is staying calm and talking to them. 

Questions as well. Just, constant questions. “Why? Why? Why? Why?”

Age 3Years-5Years

Basically just talking like an alien now. They can get their point across but sometimes their words are made up. An example of the ‘made up word’ would be run. A kid might say I ‘runned’ instead of ‘ran’ because that makes sense. It’s what we do to other words (-ed) but sometimes we don’t. The English language is full of little trips that kids get caught on. 

Their sentences are 5-10 words at 3 and then continue growing as they get older. Especially if they’re in a school environment. 

As they get older they’re going to be able to comprehend them, eg, answering where the dog went and who he saw. It’s basic fact, not a lot of emotion. But, they’re going to forget within a few hours. Also, they’re going to be telling stories like their dream or what happened at school.

NO MORE BABY TALK FROM HERE PEOPLE. I BEG YOU.

Age 5Years-7Years

Unless there’s an actual physical problem (tied tongue, stuff like that), there should no longer be a lisp. The child should be able to talk freely and easily. 

Stories are more detailed, sometimes more than needed (like colours of clothes or weather. Doesn’t impact the story) and they’re going to remember more stories. 

They’re still may get caught up on some tense changes like before but much less. Also, they will now input their own emotions onto stories and answer the why questions when doing reading compression. Here’s where they should be able to read and write at a very basic level. 

This stage of life is boarding on adult level speaking. But they’re still going to be using general words and speak more like a layman than a specialist. 

Age 7Years-9Years

They’re basically speaking like little adults. 

They can control their pitch and volume well, they can change tenses and they’re using specific terms - especially about stuff they learned at school (so, science or English conventions “that’s a metaphor”). Complex sentences are now used with ease. Stories are told well and they’re going to remember what they said a lot better. 

And we’re done! 

[itsacon10]

Reblog and put in the tags whether you prefer hard sci-fi or space opera and why

[itsacon10]

Further Adventures from the Home Office

From recent texts to my wife:

"In case it ever comes out, I'm just letting you know that there is now a text record of me setting up a meeting with a hooker"

and

"My hooker hasn't shown up yet"

[itsacon10]

[itsacon10]

[itsacon10]

AO3 Is Always Free to Use

AO3 does not have an official app, and is unable to assist users using unofficial ones. AO3 is always free to use on your mobile browser and charging for use violates our Terms of Service. Read more at https://otw.news/a38538

[itsacon10]

[itsacon10]

The holidays can be stressful

[itsacon10]

You cannot make a list like this and not include 'East the Most Watermelon' from S01E01. Literally the first task and it sums up the entirely of TM.

the best clips for introducing people to Taskmaster

these are not necessarily my favorite tasks overall; these are ones that a) stand alone well, b) can be summed up in a succinct hook, and c) feature an entertaining variety of approaches from the different contestants.

Destroy a cake as beautifully as possible (S4) Make the best music video for a nursery rhyme (S2) Make this Swedish person blush (S1) Bring Alex his dinner (S4) Make the most dramatic entrance (S9) Surprise Alex when he comes out of the shed (S9) Do the most surprising thing with a rubber duck (S4) Make something spin for the longest time (S6) Make something to engage this toddler (S8) Make a toy for the cute dog (S12) Make this coconut look like a businessman (S5) Have the longest phone call (S12) Build the best volcano (S8)

for full seasons I do not recommend starting at the beginning—I think S4, S7, and S9 are good options to start with, but the best way to decide is probably looking at the full list of contestants and picking a series that features a performer you already know and like.

[itsacon10]

The Doctor and the Unpopular Opinion

Can we talk Doctor Who and RTD?

I know that there are lots of fans of his, but watching these three specials reminded me of everything that I couldn't stand about his first run with the show.

Yes, I get that it's a television show dealing with all sorts of aliens that can do all sorts of things, but once those parameters have been established, normal rules apply.

So, in "The Star Beast", once the Meep activates his spaceship, the engine starts to destroy various roads through London, presumably because the engine needed power that would be tapped from the Earth and ultimately destroy London. Got it. No problem. And then when the engine is shut down, the roads just automatically repair themselves. ?!?!? I mean, I can live with that, I'm just not thrilled and think it's incredibly lazy writting.

No, my bigger issue was in "The Giggle." The climax gave me flashbacks to RTD's Master. Remember John Simm leaping around the junkyard, laughing manically, shooting lightning from his fingers? Unfortunately, I do, which brings me to the climax of "The Giggle". The Toymaker and the two Doctors having a game of catch, but one which is being played at superhuman speed? You can make the arguement that The Toymaker could, given that he is not originally of this dimension and has powers to manipulate reality. But the two Doctors? No. That's not who the Doctor is. Intelligent, yes. Clever (and I hate using this ever since Moffatt was the showrunner), yes. Alien, yes. But not superhuman. I mean, if that was the case he would have easily outrun the doppleganger in "Wild Blue Yonder."

I'm ok with Doctor Who being silly. I'm ok with it not taking itself seriously. But this is just an easy out, a deus ex machina, where before, and I thought it was highlighted more with 13 than with other recent Doctors, the companions helped to work out the solution. There was no solution other than the Doctor(s) exhibiting superhuman physical attributes. It's lazy. It's also a bit insulting.

As for "The Giggle" on the whole, it was long expositions and Neil Patrick Harris being Neil Patrick Harris with only the barest of plots. I mean, I liked the premise, but once it was established...there was nothing to it. Also, the disembodied hand picking up the tooth is the exact same ending with Simm's Master, with his ring being snatched off a pyre. Only, the tooth was literally on the edge of Avenger's UNIT Tower and the owner of the hand would have had to have been hovering in mid air. I will be disappointed, but not surprised, if Sacha Dhawan doesn't return as the Master. (Also, why can't RTD move on with characters? Bringing back Tennent for 14 is one thing, which I also don't get other than RTD wanted to do more Doctor/Donna stories, but now he's just hanging out in Camden? His time is over. Move on.)

Everybody has their own opinions of Doctor Who, and there are those who have no issue my issues, which is fine. My extremely unpopular opinion is that 13 was the best of NuWho because I think Chibnall understood wholly what makes Doctor Who Doctor Who.

[itsacon10]

Hi.

It's been awhile. I'm not actually sure the last time I've really been here. Let me get you caught up.

I haven't been drawing. I haven't been painting. I haven't even been writing, if you even knew I did that.

But, I'm here.

That's been a challenge. Things aren't great. I'm pretty sure my mind is fucked. That's probably always been the case though, only now it're more obvious to me. There isn't anything I can do about it; it is what it is.

So I'm here. Still. Maybe someday I'll return more. But I'm still treading water. For now. I hope everybody is ok too.

[itsacon10]

Happy Year of the Rabbit

[itsacon10]

Further Adventures from the Home Office

I have a client (court-appointed) who is diagnosed as bipolar. I spent an hour on the phone with him. He thinks I'm great and wants to know why I don't have a better legal job.