itzshadoe

[itzshadoe]

Just Rugby Lads

Prologue > ~Current~ > Chapter 2 (in the works)

Chapter 1: Sleep Well

Nick Nelson x Trans!Male Reader

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❗️Warning: use of the T-slur (only once) if you are sensitive to that, read with caution! ❗️Remember you are loved! <3

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“Nick Nelson?” Your friend Elle gasped out, her jaw dropped. Her hands wrapped around yours as you both chatted at the park’s wooden bench. Passerbys glanced ever so slightly as Elle’s voice rised. “The Nick Nelson? Talked to you, one of the shyest guys in all of Truham?”

“Okay Elle! You don’t need to announce it to the whole world!” You try to hush her with your hand to her mouth. You chuckle nervously as more walkers trot past with their dogs or partners. Elle laughed underneath your hand, bringing her own hand to tug yours off of her face.

“I’ll quiet down, I promise!” She smiles widely, looking at you intently. She reached down in her bag to take out her sketch book, “You know what, keep that pose, you look fun to draw.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?”You eye her, your face scrunching up with a small playfully irritated smile. 

Elle doesn’t answer and instead fiddles with the pencil in her hand. She squints at your form, analyzing your features and committing them to memory when she glances back at her sketchbook. “In fact, that blush on your face suits you nicely. The sunlight truly highlights it.” Her pencil scribbles against the page determinedly. Elle’s eyes widened for a second, looking back up at you mischievously. “Do you like Nick?”

Your face seemed to redden further. If you wanted to convince her you didn’t, it would be much harder now. Your hands come up to cover your blushing face, and Elle’s laughing didn’t help the blush lighten. “It’s not like that!” The words that came out didn’t feel right, though. Even after 2 months into the school year with Nick, you couldn’t deny that something felt off. “…I think.”

Elle’s eyes widened, “Wait, you actually like him? I was just joking initially but damn.” She put down her sketch book, the halfway done sketch lying face up on the creaky park bench. Her eyes looked elsewhere, a sudden awkwardness fell upon the two of you. “Isn’t he straight though?” Her eyebrows furrowed when looking back up at you. A pitiful look took upon her face with a tiny awkward smile.

The thought of even liking Nick vanished abruptly just as quick as it came to realization. You shrug it off in your head. Waving Elle off with your hand, you look elsewhere admiring the flowers that grew on the park’s premises. Eyeing the daffodils that shone as bright as the sun, your heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Nick again, even though there was a possibility he was straight. Not that it would make much of a difference.

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You and Elle had parted ways as the time before your curfew neared. It was sometime in the evening. Walking on the familiar sidewalks and pathways to your home comforted you in the empty community. 

You had decided to pluck a daffodil on your way home because it looked lovely. You had planned on pressing the flower later to keep for little gifts to your friends and especially Elle because she adored your work. 

You had searched in your head, keeping track on how many supplies you still had before they would run out, eventually leading to you buying more as your never ending collection of pressed flowers grew. Turning the corner around the tall orange fence you were most familiar with, marking how close you were to home, the atmosphere had shifted.

You had nearly bumped into an average height boy with brown locks, swerving just in time before he ran into you. Your heart skipped a beat at the close call at confrontation with the boy. You looked down at your daffodil, unharmed, before looking up at none other than your ex.

“Carson?”

You stared at him, and so did him. A bunch of lavenders strain underneath his grip. It seemed it was another one of his attempts at redemption.

“Oh! You’re back!” He stammered at first before regaining his false sense of confidence, more like idiocy. 

“Ahem, these are for you.” His hand launched forwards with the bundle of lavender, few petals falling off and drifting to the floor. 

You squinted at the flowers, awkward silence growing every second. Shaking your head, you politely decline. “Sorry, I already have enough flowers at the moment.”

Carson’s face dropped instantly. A defeated look took upon his face with a slight sense of jealousy.

“…from collecting them.” You clarified, seeing how slow he still is as he seemed to forget one of your hobbies.

“Ah, yes.”

…

The silence grew unbearable. Your feet had already stationed themselves in the direction of your house, ready to walk hastily over to the comfort of your house.

“Hey, about what I said last time…”

“-hey I really have to get home, curfew and everything. You know how my mom gets.” You cut him off just as his mouth opened.

You start slowly to your house, black concrete meeting your steps.

“W-wait! Don’t you want to listen to what I have to say?” You didn’t answer, attempting to put as much distance between you two. “I can’t believe this- just listen to me!”

He grabs your arm firmly, not hard enough to hurt but just enough to have your heart rate spike. Wide eyes shot into Carson’s.

“Carson, let go.”

His grip only seemed to tighten, though it could’ve been your imagination. Before you knew it, he had you back on the side walk as he saw a car nearing. His other hand came to rest on your other arm, closing you in.

“Look, I’m sorry for how things ended, we can go back to how things were, okay?”

You tensed up as he spoke intently in your face.

“Just stop being like… this and we can be together again, okay?” He neared towards your face. 

“Harry will give you a pass and it will be like nothing ever changed.” His grip loosened ever so slightly, his face approaching yours. 

“You can go back to Higgs and everything will be normal again.” He leaned in swiftly.

Something snapped, it might’ve been your ankle as you ran towards your house, your resolve towards Carson’s antics, or Carson’s patience. But all that you knew was your heart was pounding, threatening to burst out of your chest as Carson yelled at you, for the first time. “Cmon! You know you will come crawling back anyway, fucking tranny!”

You unlocked your door and ran in, closing the door behind you before the flowers were chucked at the barrier between you and the outside.

You sat down, catching your breath. Your concerned parents ran in, which were more concerned of that you went over the curfew than why you were on the floor fighting for your heart to calm down. 

“Where were you? We thought you said you’d be back in 2 hours. The park isn’t that far from here.” Your mom stared down at you, your father staying silent as he fixed the knocked over items from your arrival.

You had made sure to apologize before retreating to your room. The binder you wore dug into your ribs. Your breathing was shortened earlier, causing you now the bear the dizziness from after the fact. You struggled to let yourself breathe, taking off the restricting binder before crashing on your bed in a large T-shirt that had a cute Dino on the front. 

You turned off all lights except for some lamps scattered across your room. After the fact, you took out your phone and scrolled a few. At some point you came across one of Carson’s pictures, you had never blocked him yet, his pictures still appearing every now and then. 

A sudden darkness enveloped you, crushing you from the inside. 

You swiped by, pictures of cis men covering your screen every other swipe. Dysphoria didn’t affect you much, but after the confrontation with Carson, you might as well be in your weakest point. You felt like crying, but couldn’t. The faucet that plagued your eyes didn’t show up, but you didn’t know if you were thankful or disappointed. 

…

That was until a picture of Nick appeared.

He had a blue T-shirt on with navy blue shorts. His dog, presumably, was in the picture, smiling photogenically at the camera. Nick had a bright smile on his face, like a ray of sunshine. 

“Just another walk with Nellie!” - @nick_____nzzzzz

The lamps in your room seemed to glow brighter.

A sudden thought entered your mind, your face contorted, cringing. You balled yourself up. Absolutely not, you weren’t going to message him, right?

But another look at the photo and you had slid into his DMs.

“Hey Nick! It’s the ‘new’ guy from rugby practice, I joined a while ago? Your dog is so cute!”

Without overthinking again, you clicked the send button, launching your phone across your bed and practically dying from embarrassment. Arms wrapped around your legs, in a fetal position, you squeezed your eyes shut. Any thoughts from earlier that evening vanished, and thoughts of Nick Nelson replaced them.

The notification sound dinged loudly in your ear.

You threw yourself at your phone, only to realize it was Elle wondering if you made it home safely. Disappointed, you groaned but did appreciate how caring your best friend was.

“Did u make it home?”

“Yes, only a small bump in the road.”

“Oh, what was it?”

“I’ll tell you tmrw”

You switched your phone off and rolled on your back looking up at the ceiling. You taped pressed flowers to the ceiling because you could. It did add a nice touch to the warm environment that was your room. The self painted walls paired nicely with the rainbow assortment of flowers, from daffodils to roses to lilies to daisies and more. 

You could hear the soft chatter of your parents behind the door downstairs. You were grateful for your small room for the most part. It was cozy, like a cat sitting in a box type of cozy. 

You had a cat, his name was Marley, he slept in your room for the most part, but at the moment he was downstairs chowing down on food.

Marley was a birthday present for your 13th birthday, you adored him. He was a grey tabby with gorgeous green eyes that bore into your eyes when he was hungry.

He was your non-human best friend, always there and always there in your house.

Carson met him once-

Oh right, Carson.

You turned to your side, fixating your mind on anything else than Carson. You really didn’t understand why he persisted, he didn’t seem to like you that much anyway. 

Fix you? As if he could.

A loud notification sounding had stopped your train of thought. Phone in hand, you glanced at it off to the side, assuming it was Elle concerned for you and about to send an angry load of texts your way. But to much surprise,

“Hey! I hope I the others weren’t too hard on you the other day at practice, and thanks, she really is a cute dog”

…from Nick.

You rolled over on your stomach, eyes widened at the screen as if blinking would cause the message to vanish. Your thumbs trembled as you began another text. How could you not reply? Just because he was allegedly straight doesn’t mean you can’t be close friends with him, right?

“No, I’m used to playing that rough. But I’m worried that if I show my true skill that even the coach will feel threatened!” Sent with an emoji. Turning your phone off in embarrassment yet again, you breathe in deeply. The worst he can do is tell you off.

Ding.

“I didn’t think you were the type to boast?” Sent with another emoji. 

You couldn’t help it. You just had to text him till midnight, shortly before he said he really had to go to bed. You couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered each and every time he would type back, giving something meaningful back to the conversation you both were in. You couldn’t help how much trouble you were in, having not showered and with less sleep than usual. But it just felt good, the last text being from him,

“Good night! Sleep well”

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Thank you so much for reading! There is more coming soon, and I am truly committed to making this at least a 20 chapter story so stay tuned! Don’t forget to drink water, hug someone you love, and get good rest! You are loved! <3

[itzshadoe]

Just Rugby Lads

Prologue (current) > Chapter 1

Nick Nelson x Trans! Male reader

(if Nick didn’t fall in love with Charlie, but instead you, Charlie’s best friend??)

You were great friends with Charlie Springs. Together while bullied, joined and befriended through similar experiences in your first year of high school at Truham. You had put in a transfer to Truham before attending high school as you had been in tune with your gender identity for a long while. After a long time of convincing your parents, they let you attend the boys school instead of the girls school that you were zoned for. But sadly, that made you prone to bullying. In those first few months you had met Charlie, in a similar experience, being bullied for being outed as gay, though no one knew who spread that rumor. You and Charlie became friends instantly, bonding over your love for men and similar interests. Bullying didn’t affect you as much as it did Charlie, you were worried and were always there as well as his other bff, Tao, to comfort him. You were both there to lift him up when down, and soon y’all would create an unbreakable friend group with you, Charlie, Isaac, Tao, and Elle who had transferred to Higgs after your first year at Truham. You and Elle were great friends, she understood you the best in terms of gender identity, and she told you EVERYTHING, as such as you too because why not? You knew of her crush on Tao before anyone else, and was always nudging her on to ask him out. You were impeccable grade-wise, usually being the smart friend “helping” your sometimes clueless friends in their work. You loved life at Truham, mostly. Harry Greene was the only one ruining your vibe, but you made it apparent he didn’t affect you as much as he did. You were strong minded. Sure your self esteem wasn’t the best it could be, but you were working on it, and never stopped bringing yourself up when you were down. You had dated a boy in Truham, before you realized he only did because you were trans, and not for you, yourself. His name was Carson Bargner, he was with Harry’s gang of goons. However, you being the badass you were, forgot and ignored Carson altogether. He had begged for you back, once. You were quick to shove him away, as you should, but he was persistent. He was not one to berate you, thankfully, but Harry would always find ways to mention it. Ugh Harry. That boy did get under your nerves, you hate to admit it. He bullied your friends, especially Charlie, and you couldn’t help being protective of them. It was your nature.

But enough of that, time for Nick Nelson, that is why you’re here, right?

It all started in year 10. You had gained the courage to join a sport, finally. You had been interested in such for a while, but because of your identity it stirred you away. You had chosen Rugby, you were built fairly well, understanding the basics as you had watched it from time to time with your family. You loved the aspect of teamwork that was shown in rugby, you craved it. And honestly, it made you feel more euphoric being trans. It was the 1st week of the term, asking the rugby coach to join the team was fairly easy. She was excited to have a new person join the team, and she welcomed you with open arms, figuratively. That day of school was tiring, to say the least. Every subject was alright, but that day English was just biting your ass. Too much words, but you would get the 2 page essay done after rugby practice… that you were almost late to. First practice and you were already late, great, just amazing. You gasped when taking a glance at your watch. Your friend Charlie’s attention was quickly caught by your sudden noise.

“What? What’s wrong? Something happened?” His head whipped to you, scanning your face for any bad signs. Your heart warmed at his curiosity and caring personality. You calmed your face just as quick as it scrunched up at the thought of being late.

“No, I’m alright I assure you. I wasn’t aware of the time, I’ll be late for rugby practice if I don’t run now.” You give Charlie a reassuring smile, a strained one at that. He nodded in reassurance, putting down his drumsticks to wish you a farewell.

“I still don’t understand why you would torture yourself around those rugby lads!” He joked, a nervous chuckled sounding from his chest. You punched him softly, playfully before snatching your bag and running down the hall to the locker rooms.

You were a mediocre runner, fast but not as fast as Charlie. That boy could run as fast as a cheetah if he wanted to. Your blue tie flapping as the wind whipped past your running figure. Any students still in the school after school hours gave you weird looks that you didn’t mind. Wind blew into them as the pounding of your steps receded as quick as it approached stray students. You spotted the doors of the locker room in the distance, slowly down just a tad, not wanting to burst through the door. That would also mean slamming down the hall, which was not optimal obviously. You caught your breath, suddenly self conscious of its loud presence. A hand removed itself from your backpack strap and reached out to the door, hesitantly. You were worried, small trembles in your hand making itself known. You wondered if the guys behind this door would resent you, or look at your feminine figure. It wasn’t like you were stripping all of your clothes, it was just your uniform. There wasn’t a lot of reason to worry. But a small voice inside your head screamed, begging to be heard. You pushed it down and pulled the door open. The wind carried musk and a small hint of sweat from the P.E. kids that occupied this room previously. Some eyes turned to your presence, but others kept at their talk with friends and getting changed. The ones looking at you were surprised, unknown that you had joined to team, the schools trans boy. Well, you weren’t just know for that, it made you somewhat known, but it quickly faded when people saw you didn’t give a shit. You fought the urge to run back out and find the comfort of your bed at home. Instead, you found a spot near a dark blonde guy, he was chatting with someone near him. He looked the most approachable of the guys in the room, and it was one of the more open spaces in that room. You walked in the open center of the locker room, few eyes were still glued on your form while some others had gone about their lives. Your school shoes thudded on the tiled floor making your way over to the benches on the other side of the room. But a hand had suddenly made its way to your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. You noticed that face from anywhere, Harry Greene.

“What are you doing here? This is a sport for guys. Not a wannabe sissy boy.” He cackled, two other guys changing on the benches aside of you had also started their laughing. Harry was towering over you in a way, trying to get his point across. Though you didn’t budge. Rolling your eyes, you opened your mouth to send a retort back at his face.

“Harry, knock it off would you?”

A sudden voice startled you, more than Harry’s hand on your shoulder. It was smooth and in a mid range of tone. Your eyes flashed to the soothing voice. The dark blonde that you had eyed at the entrance of the locker room was standing there. His eyebrows furrowed at Harry, not looking at you just yet. Harry’s smile inched a little bit wider, amused.

“You can’t actually be defending this… thing, right Nick?” Nick. So that’s his name. You had heard of him before, “king of rugby” year 11, some would describe him as a golden retriever. And overall, you had heard he was a good guy. You felt you had heard your friends talk about him before, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

“You mean our new teammate? Coach Singh had told me to make sure they were welcome.” His body faced Harry’s, he was between you and Harry, not necessarily guarding you but still on the side. His arms stayed relaxed on the side of him, he looked big compared to you. Well, not ginormous, only a tad bit. While Harry was spewing out nonsense, his eyes took a glance over to you, brown irises stared into yours. They looked concerned and intrigued. His eyes took a friendly presence, as if when they looked at you, you didn’t want them to leave. It just seemed, comforting in a way.

After Harry had realized there was no point in convincing Nick or battering you, he had left to his side on the benches near his locker. Nick gave once last glance to Harry before he looked at you. His head motioned to the side, gesturing to follow him to the benches you had previously eyed before. You felt safe around him, like a cuddly bear. You set your school bag down. You glanced at Nick taking in your features, committing them to memory, getting to know someone new. You chuckled nervously.

“Hi?”

“Hi!”

Nick responded, realizing he was staring. He held out a hand to you to pull you up from your sitting position.

You looked at him, and he looked at you. It was awkward, but you pushed through. With an open smile you said your name, your eyes trying not to divert from Nick’s.

“Nick?” He stated his name, laughing softly, he wasn’t weirded out in any way. His laugh was light and a breath of fresh air. “Oh, and sorry about Harry. He’s usually a good guy.” You tried to not squint your eyes in skepticism. “Good?” He’s anything but good in your eyes, sometimes you just feel like strangling him from causing such harm to your friends. 

“Y-Yea, I suppose.” You responded, glancing away so he wouldn’t see the look on your face. But you didn’t know how to occupy yourself, you didn’t even know which was your locker. “Uhm, so how do I do this?”

Nick’s head turned to your direction. “Hm? Oh well I think your locker should be somewhere around here, our Coach made sure to set you up near me in case you had any questions.” Nick’s smile never wavered, he seemed enthusiastic at times. You nodded once, warily. What a coincidence your locker was next to Nick’s, well it wasn’t chance but you wouldn’t have guessed.

You reached for the locker, pulling it open and finding the clothes you would need to change in. Your heart rate had increased in speed. Changing in front of all these cis guys wasn’t ideal for you. You looked over to Nick for help, “Hey, Nick?” He responded quickly, his eyes darting to you.

“Yea? What’s up?” He was quick to respond, his voice was soft like a hum to your ears.

You looked around nervously, taking your voice to a whisper. “Is it possible if you could, cover me, by chance? I’m not too comfortable changing in front of people.” You looked away from embarrassment, scared he’d ask you why. But instead he nodded with a small smile etched into his face, taking his school jacket and covered your form. Without any time to waste, you slipped on your sports bra, T-shirt and shorts given to you by the coach. The sports bra wasn’t great at binding, obviously, compared to your binder. There was an obvious bump in your chest even with the sports bra on, but it wasn’t like you could wear your binder and play rugby with it. That’d be a death sentence. “Ok, I’m done.” You said out to Nick. There was a moment before he took down the jacket hiding your form. You nodded your thanks to him before the coach of the rugby team’s voice was heard at the exit of the locker room. She ordered everyone out.

While everyone was walking out, Nick glanced over to you, “Do you know how to play rugby?”

Surprised, you stuttered at first, “a little?”

He laughed and pat you on the back before running out with everyone else, encouraging you to follow on.

For the following days of the week, you would see Nick in the hallway, at the entrance of the school, after school, walking home, and sometimes in your dreams. It wasn’t that you thought of him constantly, you just saw him everywhere, eventually showing up in your dreams. He would be walking or passing to you in rugby. Even out of dream, you two were synced on the field. You weren’t unstoppable, but with strategy, and the power of Rugby Lads, the team was a pretty good one.

Your day lit up when you got to see Nick. His smile was there to shine with his dark blonde hair flowing in the wind at practice. He was a nice guy, sometimes touchy as he was with everyone else. But you couldn’t help the small build of butterflies fluttering in your chest when around him. It had developed over the past few months since meeting him face to face. You wondered how long this would last, as you thought he wasn’t gay. This friendship you had with Nick was unlike any other. You wished practice could last long, if you had to admit.

(Thanks for reading till the end!! This was actually my first ever finished fanfic. Please feel free to comment and give any advice, I would appreciate it! I will eventually do a plethora of different fandoms. But I plan on making this fanfic a series so stay tuned for the next chapter. Love you, stay hydrated, tell the people you love you care, and have a good day/night! <3)