ivyasproperty

[ivyasproperty]

𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑

Sumary: When Natasha finds herself missing your presence, she realizes just how much her life has changed. What once felt like an afterthought now feels essential. She never imagined how much she’d come to need you, and how much better life is with you by her side.

Paring: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Natasha Romanoff x Platonic!Avengers

Word count: 7410

Warnings: A very soft Natasha, bad Mood, Dry jokes, saudades. +18 content.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Author’s Notes: Part three is finally out!! Thanks for all the love you guys are sending to this work. Feel free to send me an ask so we can talk about our mini family—please do, I’m dying for this 😭😭😭

゛ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 𓂃𓈒𓏸 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ᥫ᭡ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ༝ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚₊ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 🍼 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ୨♡୧ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ᡣ𐭩 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ꩜　₊ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ✧ 　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚　　 ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ‎ ‎ ‎ ₊ㅤ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ୨୧ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁺ 　　 　˳ 　 　⸝⸝⸝♡　　⁺　　୨୧　　　₊　 　 ˚₊

There were worse things than waking up happy. Natasha just wasn’t used to this version of it—the soft kind. The kind that came in slowly, quietly, like sunlight slipping through half-drawn curtains. It didn’t blaze or demand. It settled.

You’d already come and gone that morning—something about Stark needing a schematic review—but you’d left behind your usual trail of affection: still-warm coffee in the red mug she always pretended wasn’t hers, a brown paper bag with her favorite pastry, and the faintest trace of your perfume clinging to the pillow beside hers. She didn’t need any of it. She wasn’t the kind of woman who needed. But damn if it didn’t make her want more.

Ana was still asleep in her little bed across the room, curled under the corner of Natasha’s old hoodie, breathing soft and even. Natasha sat at the table barefoot, coffee in hand, half-smiling to herself without realizing it. This wasn’t a fairytale. It was better. It was real.

You hadn’t said anything official, neither had she. But somewhere between the flowers once a week and the lazy mornings on her couch with your head in her lap, something had clicked into place. A silent agreement. You were hers. She was yours. And neither of you were going anywhere.

You were at her apartment almost every day now. Sometimes just to nap. Sometimes just to exist in the same space. But most nights, after Ana was asleep, it turned into something more—long, drawn-out kisses on the couch, tangled limbs in the low glow of the TV, your mouth on her skin like you were trying to learn her by heart. Natasha didn’t let many people get close. But you didn’t try to break her walls down. You just made her feel safe enough to lower them on her own.

There were still moments when it hit her hard. When she’d glance across the room and see you with Ana—sharing snacks, playing with puzzle pieces, carrying her on your hip like she belonged there—and Natasha’s chest would tighten in a way that almost hurt. Because this wasn’t a dream. This was real. And somehow, it was hers.

She’d never imagined she’d get this. Not the child. Not the quiet mornings. Not you. And yet, here she was. Drinking her favorite coffee, in her apartment that didn’t feel lonely anymore, with the sound of her daughter breathing peacefully in the background and the ghost of your kiss still lingering on her lips.

Natasha Romanoff, international spy, ex-assassin, former Avenger… was in love.

And for once in her life, it wasn’t complicated. It was just right.

Natasha had never planned on falling in love. Especially not with someone younger. Much younger.

She told herself that in the beginning. Repeated it like a prayer, like a defense: you were twenty-three. Brilliant. Reckless. Overflowing with the kind of fire she thought only existed in people who hadn’t been broken yet. And yet—you chose her. You chose them.

You stayed. Through all the chaos. Through Ana’s tantrums and midnight wake-ups. Through Natasha’s silences, her scars, her tendency to shut down instead of open up. You brought flowers when she was having a bad week and didn’t want to say it out loud. You brought chocolate when Ana was teething and neither of them had slept in two days. You brought yourself—unapologetically, completely.

The first time you left, Natasha barely flinched.

Three days. That was the length of your mission. A simple extraction, routine enough that even Fury hadn’t been concerned. She hadn’t made a big deal of it—kissed your temple before you left and made some half-hearted joke about bringing her back something interesting. And that was it. She’d spent the first evening watching cartoons with Ana curled up on her chest, the second one organizing files in the quiet of her room, and by the third morning, you were back, carrying pastries and that tired grin you always wore when you pushed yourself too far.

She remembered thinking it was fine. She didn’t miss you. Not really. Not in any way that was abnormal.

But then it happened again.

A month later, another three-day mission. Longer distance this time. Minimal contact. She told herself it wasn’t a big deal again. She’d survived years without attachment—three days without you shouldn’t even register. And yet…

This time, there was a shift.

Nothing dramatic. Nothing worth naming. But the silence felt heavier at night. She lingered longer by her phone, her thumb hovering over your name more often. She still had Ana—her anchor in everything—but there was an odd, persistent restlessness underneath her skin. She snapped at the coffee machine one morning when it jammed. She cursed a little louder when she stubbed her toe. Nothing big. Not enough to call it anything.

She didn’t realize it for what it was. Not then.

She thought she was just tired. She told herself she’d been too used to sharing space with you, that maybe you���d spoiled her by being around so much. That was all. Nothing serious.

But then came the third time.

Present day. And this time?

It was bad.

You were gone. Again. And everything felt off. Off-kilter. Wrong. The apartment felt colder, and Ana—sweet Ana—was crankier than usual, refusing naps, pushing her food around on her plate, clearly missing you in her own small way. Natasha tried to hold it together, but this time it wasn’t just silence—it was absence. It was the absence of your coffee cup in the sink. The lack of your music humming from the bathroom. No sarcastic quip about her black ops hoodie or shared glances over Ana’s head when she did something ridiculous.

Natasha was fraying. Worse—she knew it.

And she hated that awareness.

She tried to channel the frustration into something useful. Clint had agreed to run combat drills with a new batch of recruits, and Natasha threw herself into it with the kind of sharp, violent precision she hadn’t leaned on in years.

She didn’t hold back.

The gym floor was already slick with sweat, and the sound of fists hitting pads echoed like thunder between the high ceilings. The new recruits—bright-eyed, fully trained, and supposedly ready for fieldwork—were scattered across the mats like a massacre had just taken place. Natasha paced in front of them like a wolf in black leggings, half-sane from too many hours of sleep deprivation and too few texts from you.

“Again,” she ordered flatly, and a collective groan rose from the group.

One of the girls—Elena, maybe? Or Eliza? Natasha didn’t bother remembering—wobbled to her feet and tried to correct her stance.

“You’re favoring your left. You do that on a mission, you’ll lose a kneecap.”

“I—uh—okay, Agent Romanoff.”

“‘Okay’ isn’t gonna regrow your kneecap, sweetheart.”

Clint snorted from the corner, arms crossed, chewing on a protein bar like this was the best entertainment he’d had all week.

“You know,” he said casually, “some people call this mentoring.”

Natasha arched an eyebrow, looking entirely unimpressed. “Some people have standards.”

Clint raised his hands in surrender. “Hey, no judgment. I just don’t think Stark’s daughter would’ve survived your version of boot camp.”

“She wouldn’t have whined this much,” Natasha shot back, already circling the next recruit—tall, cocky, abs for days, too much gel in his hair. She jabbed at his shoulder with two fingers. “You flinch like that again, and I’m gonna have Steve run you through shield drills until you cry.”

“I—I’m not flinching.”

Natasha stared him down. “You blinked when I said ‘Steve.’ That counts.”

Clint laughed outright now, leaning against the wall. “You’ve been extra scary lately, Nat. Should I be worried?”

“Just bored,” she muttered, even though they both knew that wasn’t the truth.

“Bored?” Clint raised a brow. “This is your version of bored? I can’t wait to see what happens when you’re in a bad mood.”

She shot him a dark look that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Keep talking and I’ll put you on the mat.”

“Oh no, anything but that,” he said, hand on his heart, mock-fear in his voice. “Whatever will I do if my bestie breaks my spine in front of Gen Z?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Barton. I’d let one of them do it.”

One of the recruits whispered, “We can hear you,” and Natasha turned just enough to give them a slow, feral grin.

“Good. Maybe it’ll motivate you.”

They looked like they wanted to cry, She didn’t care.

Because if she stopped moving, stopped teasing, stopped being this barely tethered version of herself—then maybe the ache in her chest would start catching up.

And she couldn’t afford that.

Not yet, You were still gone.

Natasha Romanoff was a force in the training room. Everyone knew that. But even she had her rhythms — the way she sized someone up, tested their footing, let them learn through a bruise or two without destroying what little confidence they had. But not today. Today, she was sharp. Clinical. Unforgiving. Every correction came with a hit, every mistake was pointed out with the flick of her staff or the slam of a mat.

By the end of the session, half the recruits were limping and the other half were trying not to look like they were on the verge of crying. They weren’t rookies. All of them were somewhere in their early twenties, eager and just green enough to think they had something to prove. Normally, Natasha would break them down with precision, then build them back up.

Today, she left them scattered across the floor like discarded chess pieces.

“Alright, go,” she finally said after a bit more of torture, waving a hand like she was shooing pigeons instead of a group of elite S.H.I.E.L.D. trainees. “You’re all free to cry in the showers. Debrief’s in two hours. Don’t be late or I’ll actually try.”

The room cleared out faster than a fire drill.

Clint, who’d spent most of the session leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and his mouth shut, finally raised his eyebrows.

“Well,” he said. “That was brutal.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “They’re fine. They signed up for this.”

“They signed up for basic tactical sparring, not full-contact therapy.”

She gave him a look, but there was no venom behind it.

Clint stepped forward and offered her a bottle of water, which she took without a word.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on or should I wait until you start decapitating punching bags?”

“I’m just tired.”

“You’re always tired. This is different.”

She stayed quiet. Long enough that Clint didn’t think she was going to answer. Then—

“I’m not used to being alone anymore.”

That surprised him. Not the words, maybe, but the way she said them. Flat. Matter-of-fact. Like it was a diagnosis she didn’t quite know what to do with.

“I mean, I can do it,” she added quickly, like that mattered more. “I’ve done it most of my life. I know how to keep Ana on routine, I know how to make sure the bills are paid, I know how to function—”

“But you’re not sleeping.”

Natasha glanced at him.

“I know that look,” Clint said. “You’ve got it under control on the outside, but inside you’re counting every creak in the apartment.”

She didn’t answer, which meant he was right.

He softened his tone a little. “This the third time?”

Natasha nodded. “First time was fine. Just a three-day recon. Ana missed her, I missed her, but I kept busy. Second time was about a month later. Same length. But it hit differently. I was irritated all the time, couldn’t explain why.”

“And now?”

“I’m snapping at everyone,” she muttered. “I haven’t been able to fall asleep without checking the door three times. I wake up every hour thinking I heard something. My body feels like it’s stuck in defense mode.”

Clint tilted his head. “She make you feel safe?”

Natasha let out a dry laugh. “Isn’t that ironic?”

Clint smiled gently. “Maybe. But not surprising. You’ve spent your whole life being the safe one. The one with backup plans and exit routes and eyes on every angle. No one ever stuck around long enough for you to want safety.”

She didn’t deny it.

“I didn’t even notice,” she said after a moment. “That it was happening. I just… slept better. I rested. When she was around, I wasn’t bracing all the time. I started drinking my coffee while it was still hot. I didn’t flinch every time Ana made a noise in the middle of the night.”

“Must be weird.”

“It’s terrifying,” Natasha said, but there was a hint of a smile there now. “Because I didn’t think I was missing anything. I wasn’t unhappy. I had Ana. I had work. Everything was fine.”

Clint didn’t interrupt. He could see the thoughts still arranging themselves behind her eyes.

“She’s young,” Natasha said eventually. “Bright, loud, stubborn. She walks into a room and everything wakes up. And then… when she leaves, it’s like the apartment forgets how to breathe.”

Clint grinned. “Wow. You’re really down bad.”

She smacked his arm.

“I’m just saying,” he teased. “That sounds like someone who’s trying real hard not to use the word love.”

“I’m not saying it to you.”

“But you’re saying it.”

Natasha looked away, then back, then sighed.

“She’s only been gone for a week” she muttered. “And I already feel like my skin’s too tight.”

“Yeah,” Clint said softly. “That’s love, Nat.”

She didn’t reply. Just stood there with her arms crossed, jaw tight, like she was trying to keep the storm in her chest from spilling out across the floor.

And Clint didn’t push her.

Because he knew her. And she’d say it when she was ready. But until then, he’d be there. And maybe, if the world played fair for once, she would be back soon too.

She just left without saying a word to him and wandered to the kitchen, chasing the illusion of calm in a cup of coffee. A desperate attempt to reset, to claw her way back to something that resembled her usual mindset. Useless? Absolutely. But still a valid attempt.

She used what little spare time she had to chip away at the paperwork piling up on her desk, going through the motions while her brain begged for a break, but she couldn't bring herself to stop

When the clock finally pushed her toward the inevitable, she made her way to the meeting room. It was still quiet—mercifully so—and she let herself enjoy the silence for what it was: the last moment of peace before the incoming storm of idiocy.

Clint arrived not long after.

“Ready to deal with them again?” she sighed, barely turning her head to look at him. “It can’t get worse, right?”

It did.

After snapping through training drills and watching half the recruits nearly cry from a simple sparring critique, Natasha thought she’d reached the peak of her frustration. She thought the fire had burned out enough that she could sit through something as low-stakes as a mission planning session without needing a punching bag. She was wrong.

They were in the meeting room, a stack of files spread across the table, and the only thing more painful than their blank stares was their awful strategy logic. It wasn’t even an actual op—they were just meant to propose a plan, something clean and professional, basic protocol. But somehow they managed to turn it into the most chaotic, disjointed mess she had seen since Clint tried to microwave a steak.

One of them suggested a twelve-person infiltration team for a two-man job. Another thought a decoy explosion in a civilian area was a “good distraction.” Natasha stared at that one for a long time. Said nothing. Just let the silence hang until he cleared his throat and tried to backpedal.

It was hell.

They were hell.

And the worst part was, she couldn’t even find the energy to get mad anymore. She just wanted to be anywhere else.

She found herself thinking about your hands.

How they moved when you spread files across her table. How you always started a plan from the middle and worked backwards like it made more sense that way. How your theories were messy, but your execution was precise. How your dumb croissants always left flakes on her floor, but your coffee? Always perfect.

God, she missed you.

These newbies were making her feel ancient.

And somehow… you never did.

Which, in that moment, made her realize something even worse, She wasn’t just used to your presence. She had started to rely on it.

And now? With your chair empty across the room and a dozen voices talking over each other like toddlers playing spy?

She’d never wanted to quit a debrief so badly in her life.

She sat back in her chair, arms crossed, lips pressed in a flat line as she watched one of the recruits confidently draw a completely backwards tactical map on the whiteboard. The entrance and exit points were the same. The safe zone was placed inside the potential combat perimeter. And their plan to extract intel involved “grabbing the briefcase and hoping for the best.”

Natasha blinked. Slowly.

She didn’t interrupt. Didn’t scoff. Didn’t laugh.

She just watched. With the dead-eyed stare of someone whose soul had left her body approximately five minutes ago.

Clint was sitting to her right, trying—and failing—to stifle his amusement. She caught the edge of his grin in her periphery and didn’t bother to hide the glare she shot back.

“You’re enjoying this,” she muttered under her breath.

“Immensely,” Clint whispered, taking a casual sip of his water. “This is the most fun I’ve had all week.”

She let her head fall back against the chair with a quiet groan. “I’ve trained toddlers with better tactical awareness.”

Clint chuckled. “You did train a toddler. Yours has better instincts than these guys.”

She exhaled sharply, the corner of her mouth twitching despite the ache behind her eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

They watched another recruit stand up to add on to the plan, immediately contradicting the first half of it. Natasha let her eyes close, counted to ten, reopened them, and still nothing made sense. The files were sitting right there, everything they needed laid out in plain detail—but they weren’t reading, they weren’t thinking, they weren’t you.

You would’ve solved this in five minutes flat. Coffee in one hand, smug grin on your lips, and a completely insane but functional plan in front of her before she could even finish skimming the brief. You made chaos look elegant.

And you were so damn good at what you did.

Not just in the field. But with Ana. With her. With everything.

She missed the way you filled the space beside her. Missed the balance of it. The peace of knowing you were close enough to lean on, even when she pretended not to. She hadn’t realized how much calmer she’d become until you left—and now every breath felt too loud. Every second dragged.

You made things quiet. Inside her head. Inside her chest.

And without you there, she felt like her entire body was clenching around silence. Like she couldn’t relax. Couldn’t trust the stillness.

The room buzzed with voices again, someone suggesting parachutes in a low-rise recon op. Natasha stood up sharply, scraping her chair back.

“All of you,” she said flatly, “out.”

A beat of silence. Then chairs shifting, people scrambling, a few mumbled apologies.

Clint didn’t even try to hide his laugh now.

“You’re brutal.”

“They were parachuting into a building with three floors, Barton.”

“Bold,” he agreed, nodding.

Natasha rubbed her temple, tiredness dragging across her features like the weight of three sleepless nights. She didn’t say anything at first. Just stared at the table, at your empty seat, at the untouched coffee cup across from her that she’d placed there without thinking.

And Clint watched her. Quiet now.

“You okay?”

She let out a breath. “No.”

His brow furrowed slightly, but he waited.

“I’m tired,” she said, not looking at him. “Not physically. Not really. Just—on edge. All the time. Like I’m waiting for something to go wrong and I don’t even know what it is.”

Clint watched her carefully, but she didn’t return the look. Her fingers tapped against the file in front of her, slow and bitter. She wasn’t trying to sound dramatic. She was trying not to sound like she was one sleepless night away from losing it.

“And don’t start with the maybe-you-just-need-a-break crap,” she added, her voice dry as dust. “I swear to God, Barton, if one more person tells me to go meditate or do yoga, I’ll throw someone off the balcony just to feel something.”

Clint raised his hands, surrendering with a little whistle. “Wasn’t gonna say a word.”

“Good.” She closed the file with a hard snap. “Because the only thing I’m doing is going back to my apartment, taking a damn hot shower, and snuggling with my daughter until the tension in my spine lets go or I pass out trying.”

“You sure you don’t want to join the rookies for round two?” Clint teased, watching her sling her bag over her shoulder with the kind of aggression that suggested something—or someone—was about to be strangled.

Natasha shot him a look that could peel paint. “Those idiots wouldn’t know a mission plan if it hit them in the face with a blueprint and a crayon.”

“Sounds like a no.”

“It’s a hell no.”

She pushed the chair in with a sharp movement and started toward the door. She was already picturing it—Ana’s small body curled under her arm, the smell of baby shampoo still lingering in her hair, the weight of something real and safe grounding her. The apartment would be warm. Familiar. You wouldn’t be there, but Ana would. And maybe that would be enough to stop her from unraveling further.

“I’m going to go cuddle my toddler,” she muttered as she walked away, mostly to herself. “In an attempt to soothe my fucking nerves before I kill someone.”

“Love that for you,” Clint called after her, smirking. “Tell Ana I said hi.”

But she didn’t answer. She just kept walking—jaw clenched, back stiff, heart pounding louder than it should.

And maybe that was the part that scared her the most.

It was getting harder to calm down without you.

She should’ve gone to her own apartment. She meant to. But in the elevator, her finger pressed your floor instead of hers. She stared at the button, thought about fixing it—and didn’t.

It wasn’t on purpose. Just muscle memory, maybe. Or something quieter. Something she wasn’t ready to name.

She ignored the unspoken rules of social decency—the ones about personal space, about waiting until you’re invited, about not letting yourself into someone else’s apartment when they’re not home. But rules had never done much for her. Not when her chest felt like it was pulled too tight, not when every inch of her skin ached to be somewhere that felt less.

So she walked in like she belonged. Because maybe she did.

The scent hit her first. Your perfume, soft and clean, still lingering in the air like you’d left only minutes ago. Her shoulders relaxed before she even realized it. The knot in her back didn’t go away, but it loosened, just enough for her to breathe. She scoffed under her breath, irritated with herself. This is ridiculous.

She wasn’t supposed to be the kind of woman who felt safe just because of a smell. That was something for romance novels and bad TV dramas. And yet here she was, sinking into it like it was the only thing keeping her upright. Pathetic.

But she didn’t leave.

Instead, she walked to your bathroom, peeled off her clothes, and stepped into your shower. The water pressure was—of course—better than hers. Much better. The kind of steaming hot that instantly blanketed her skin, wrapped around her ribs, and made the world feel like it could fade for a few minutes. She let her forehead press to the tile and made a mental note: Have her install one of these in my apartment. Perks of being your… something.

Natasha let herself fold. The heat hit her hard, softening the edges of her muscle, but not the ache underneath. That, only you could reach.

She braced a hand against the tile, eyes shut, water cascading over her back. Her other hand moved across her body, every touch of her own hands washing away the grime taking deep sighs and low whines come out of her mouth... she is a needy mess. the week, the endless static of a life too sharp lately. But it wasn’t right. It wasn’t you.

Her fingers stilled at her collarbone, and all she could think about was your hands—gentler than she expected, steady, unhurried. The way you touched her like you had all the time in the world. The way your thumb had traced her hipbone once without even noticing, and it had made her breath catch like a damn teenager.

She wanted that.

God, she wanted you.

Not just your mouth or your body or the heat of your skin against hers—though she wanted that too, badly—but the presence. That anchoring calm you carried, the ease in your laugh, the way you never flinched when Ana clung to your chest or Natasha woke up gasping in the middle of the night. You were steady. You were safe.

And she missed you like hell.

The water rushed down her back as her palm curled against the tile. Her breath hitched—not from the steam, but from the ache in her chest. This wasn’t just about the day. Or the week. This was you, absent in a way she hadn’t let herself admit she wasn’t handling well.

She needed your hands. Your weight behind her. Your mouth pressed to her shoulder whispering sweet things on her ear... bringing her to a lazy orgasm, your fingers trusting inside her exactly how she likes it, that type of orgasm that made her bones melt. She needed to feel claimed—wanted—in the way only you managed to make her feel.

She let the water run until her skin turned pink and her legs felt a little less steady. But not weak. Just—softer.

She wrapped herself in your towel, tucked her hair behind her ear, and looked at her reflection. She felt ridiculous—needy in a way that made her wince. Two years spent living something close to celibate, and now she couldn’t make it through a week without you.

“Pathetic,” she muttered under her breath. And yet, she didn’t leave.

She wasn’t ready to leave.

Not when everything in this apartment smelled like you.

Not when your presence lingered in the sheets and the steam and the air she breathed like a promise.

Not when her skin still craved you more than the water could soothe.

Wrapped in your robe—still warm from where it had hung by the bathroom—Natasha felt like she was wearing a secret. The collar smelled like you. The sleeves hung past her wrists just enough to feel wrong on her body and right in every other way. The plush fabric swallowed her frame, soft where her skin was still pink from the shower, grounding her like only you managed to do.

She padded barefoot into your bedroom, towel-drying her hair lazily as she reached for your phone. You weren’t home, but she didn’t need permission. Not anymore. Not after the way you’d held her the last time she’d fallen apart. Not after the way your hands had memorized her.

She dialed the tower’s daycare.

It rang twice before someone picked up. “Hello—Avengers Tower Child Services, this is—”

“I need Ana.”

There was a pause, just long enough to signal the woman on the other end had recognized her voice. “Oh—are you coming down to pick her up?”

“No,” Natasha cut in, her voice low and dry. “Have someone bring her to Ms. Stark’s apartment.”

Another pause. Sharper this time.

Natasha didn’t usually pull rank. She didn’t like making people uncomfortable if she could help it, didn’t like reminding people of who she was unless she had to. But today? Today she didn’t give a fuck.

The silence on the other end of the line cracked into a gasp—the kind someone makes when they choke on air but try to hide it. “Ms. Stark’s apartment?” the woman repeated, barely managing to keep her voice steady. “But she’s—uh—she’s currently away on mission—”

“Exactly,” Natasha replied, cool and calm as ice. “I’m in her apartment.”

She hung up before the woman could recover, before she could come up with something else polite to say. The truth was already in the air. No taking it back now.

And maybe Natasha liked that a little more than she should.

Still barefoot, she wandered into your kitchen and opened the cabinet where she knew you kept the coffee mugs—second shelf, left side, tucked behind that one chipped one you never threw away. She picked your favorite, poured the last of the hot brew into it, and cradled it between her palms like it might warm her deeper than the robe already had.

She looked down at herself. She was wearing a pair of your pajama bottoms—soft, a little too big, cinched at the waist with a lazy knot. your robe, draped over it. She smelled like your shampoo. She moved like someone who belonged in your space.

When the elevator dinged, she didn’t rush to meet it.

She walked slowly, casually, letting the scent of your coffee cling to her like another layer of you. She opened the door just as the delivery woman was adjusting Ana on her hip.

And the look on her face?

Priceless.

Natasha didn’t smile. Not really. But her mouth did twitch in a way that let the woman know she’d seen it. That she understood exactly what this looked like. And that she wasn’t about to explain herself.

She reached for Ana, who immediately threw her arms around her mother’s neck, cheek pressed into her shoulder with a tired little sigh.

“Thank you,” Natasha said, expression unreadable but voice polite.

The woman mumbled something in return, eyes flicking once more to Natasha’s clothes—your clothes—before she stepped back into the elevator.

And that was that.

Natasha smiled to herself, something smug curling in her chest, her mood instantly lighter—as if claiming you, even in a silent, indirect way, had flipped a switch in her head. The robe still smelled like you. The coffee was yours. The space was yours. And now, so were they.

She looked down at Ana, who was content and warm in her arms, still sleep-dazed with her cheek pressed to her shoulder. “Mama made it pretty clear,” Natasha murmured, voice full of dry satisfaction. “She’s ours.”

Ana made a little sound—a soft gag, half-laugh, half-yawn—like she agreed in her toddler way, and Natasha huffed out a quiet chuckle. “Exactly,” she said, brushing her lips over the crown of Ana’s head. “I didn’t even have to say it out loud. That poor woman nearly fainted.”

Ana mumbled something incoherent and tucked herself in tighter, her small fingers wrapping into the edge of Natasha’s robe.

Natasha carried her toward the bedroom, her hand cupping Ana’s back instinctively. She still had her coffee in the other hand, warm and familiar. “You know,” she said softly, talking more to fill the quiet than anything else, “you and I—we make a good team. I don’t even have to say what I want, and you go ahead and make me look all possessive.”

Another little sleepy gag came in response, and Natasha smirked.

They reached the bed.

It was still unmade from your morning rush—covers half thrown back, your pillow slightly indented. Natasha settled in like muscle memory, stretching out with a soft sigh as she adjusted the blankets over them both. She took one last sip of coffee before setting the mug on your nightstand.

Ana curled on her chest, tiny limbs draped naturally over her like she belonged there. Natasha’s hand moved up and down her daughter’s back in a rhythm she didn’t think about.

Everything smelled like you.

Everything felt like you.

And wrapped in your robe, in your bed, with Ana’s heartbeat against hers, Natasha let herself close her eyes for the first time that day and just breathe.

This—this was hers. And she wasn’t sharing.

Ana fell asleep fast—unfairly fast, in Natasha’s opinion. One minute she was blinking slow against her chest, the next, completely knocked out, tiny fingers still curled in the fabric of Natasha’s borrowed robe.

Natasha looked down at the peaceful little traitor and sighed through her nose. “Such a simp,” she muttered, mock-scolding, brushing her knuckles gently against Ana’s red hair. “You know that, right? One whiff of her and you’re out like a light. No standards.”

Ana didn’t respond, of course. Just let out a soft snore, drooling slightly onto Natasha’s chest.

“Gross,” Natasha added affectionately, then shifted with a little grunt of effort, sliding out from under her daughter with the practiced ease of a mother who’d done this dance too many times. She tugged the robe off her shoulders, tossing it to the chair by your desk, then pulled the duvet up to cover them both. It smelled heavenly. Like you. Of course it did.

She rolled her eyes—at you, at herself, at this whole situation she never thought she’d be in.

“Great,” she muttered as she settled in beside Ana again, tugging the duvet tighter around them. “She has turned both Romanoffs into complete idiots. Well done.”

The bed was warm. The room was quiet. Ana’s breath was slow and steady, pressed into her side now. Natasha tucked her arm around her daughter and let herself relax.

It didn’t take long before she was out too.

Simp, indeed.

It was, without a doubt, the best sleep she’d had all week. No tossing, no restless half-wakes at every small noise. Just warmth. The kind that wrapped around her bones, settled into her skin. The kind that whispered safety without needing to say a word.

Natasha was sleeping like a log, dead to the world. But even as she stirred, something felt different. Not wrong—no, not at all—but new. Or rather… familiar in a way she was beginning to crave.

There was an extra weight draped over her waist. Not heavy, but grounding. And then the scent—yours—undeniable, curling around her like a second blanket. It was the only reason she didn’t jolt upright like usual, the only reason her muscles stayed loose instead of tensing on instinct. She blinked, adjusting to the low light filtering through the room, and looked down.

Your hand.

Delicate, sure. But firm in its claim, wrapped around her as if she were something fragile and rare, something to be protected. Treasured. As if you knew what she tried to hide and wanted to shield her from it anyway.

She didn’t know how to breathe for a second.

She didn’t feel weak. She didn’t feel small. She felt… like yours.

Carefully, quietly, she rolled onto her side, slow enough not to disturb Ana, still asleep by her side. Her eyes met yours. Warm. Soft. Tired in the same way hers were.

You leaned in first. Or maybe she did. It didn’t matter.

Your lips brushed hers in a slow, unhurried kiss—lingering just a second too long to be casual, just deep enough to say I missed you without either of you needing to say a word. There was something sacred in the silence. Something steady in the pull between your mouths.

Longing and relief, tangled together in the stillness.

The kiss faded slowly, not because either of you wanted it to, but because the moment demanded breath—words. Familiar rhythm. Something to tether the weight of the morning to something more manageable. You stayed close, noses brushing, your hand still resting over her waist.

“God, you look terrible,” you whispered, the corners of your mouth tugging into a sleepy grin.

Natasha let out a soft huff of amusement, half-heartedly rolling her eyes. “Thanks, printsessa. Nothing like brutal honesty to start the day.”

You blinked at her, incredulous. “Day? Darling, it’s fucking 22:00. How did you manage to destroy your biological clock like this?”

You brushed a strand of her messy red hair off her cheek, your fingers deliberately slow, teasing. “No, really. Hair like a bird nest. Dark circles. You look like someone tried to cosplay insomnia.”

She smirked, biting back a laugh that might wake Ana. “I’ve been busy not murdering anyone this week, thanks to someone disappearing again.”

“I was working,” you said, mock-defensive, shifting just a little so your leg hooked around hers. “Some of us have very important things to do, you know.”

Natasha scoffed. “Right. And I’m sure the fate of the world depended entirely on your ability to drink five espressos and ignore my texts.”

You grinned, nose brushing her temple. “Six espressos, actually. And I wasn’t ignoring. I was… emotionally unavailable.”

That earned a soft laugh from her—real and unguarded. She tilted her head back just enough to meet your gaze fully, her expression still dry, but touched with affection. “You’re insufferable.”

You grinned wider. “And yet here you are. Wrapped in my sheets. Wearing my clothes. Sleeping in my bed.”

She pressed a quick kiss to your chin, her voice lower now, almost fond despite her teasing. “Yeah. Must be losing my edge.”

You pulled her closer again, arms snug around her waist. “Nah. You just found better edges to soften against.”

She didn’t say anything. Just let herself melt into you, breathing easier than she had in days.

She was quiet at first, her body still heavy with sleep as you brushed your fingers lazily down the slope of her waist. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all directions, eyes half-lidded and unfocused as they slowly adjusted to the light.

You let your hand slide up, resting it on her ribs. “A little bird told me you weren’t exactly… thriving this week.”

She stilled slightly. “Clint?”

“Mmhmm. Said you almost impaled a trainee for calling you ma’am.”

“They earned it.”

You grinned. “You told one of the analysts she had the tactical sense of a door.”

Natasha grunted.

You snorted softly. “You’ve been stomping around the tower like a sleep-deprived dragon.”

There was a long pause before she finally sighed, low and quiet. “I don’t sleep well without you.”

You didn’t tease her for that one. Not this time.

Instead, you shifted closer, curling around her a little more, letting her breathe you in. Her shoulders softened. Just a little.

“I mean, if this is you at thirty-three, I can’t imagine the chaos when you’re sixty,” you said gently, your lips brushing her hair. “You’ll be throwing people out of windows for breathing too loud.”

Natasha let out a tired, amused sound. “That’s optimistic. I’ll be worse.”

You kissed her jaw. “Cute.”

“I’m not cute.”

“You’re so cute when you’re cranky and secretly in love with me.”

She turned her face into your neck, mumbling something unintelligible, but you could feel the smile there.

Natasha was still tangled in the last traces of sleep, Ana’s little body sprawled by her side, her scent mingling with the faint sweetness of your perfume that lingered on the pillows. The calm wouldn’t last, she knew that. It never did. But for now, she allowed herself to rest in it—until you stirred beside her and she felt your fingers brushing her side softly.

“I have some news,” you said, voice low and close to her ear, carrying the weight of something important, but softened with warmth.

Natasha’s body tensed the smallest bit. It was instinctive, like a defense mechanism. That tone—it meant change. She shifted, careful not to wake Ana, and met your eyes. “What kind of news?”

You sat up slightly, propping yourself on your elbow, and smiled. “Good news, I swear.”

Still, she didn’t smile back. Not yet. She just waited, studying your expression. She’d learned to read people deeply, and you—God, you were the only person who ever made her forget how.

You reached up, brushing a few strands of hair from her face. “Fury said I’m not necessary here in the Avengers anymore, so I can go back to England.”

Natasha blinked, just once—but it was enough. That word again.

England.

It was always there—hovering like a shadow behind your name, your work, your laughter. The place that could take you back. The place that wasn’t here.

Her throat tightened just a bit. “So… you’re leaving?”

You heard it. You always did. The tension behind her words. The shift in her breathing.

You leaned closer, your forehead nearly touching hers. “But I’m also not necessary in England either. So I chose to stay here.”

Natasha blinked, unsure. “Wait, what?”

“I said I had good news,” you cut her off gently, your thumb brushing the corner of her mouth. “You’re looking at the newest member of the Avengers. Apparently one Stark wasn’t enough, so now they get to deal with two.”

That earned you a blink of surprise—and then, slowly, a breath of relief. Natasha didn’t smile, not quite. But the way her shoulders eased, the way her fingers curled slightly tighter around Ana, spoke volumes.

Still, you could tell her mind was spinning.

“So… you’re staying here?” she asked quietly, as if she didn’t quite trust the answer yet.

You nodded. “Fury said I could go back if I wanted. But I don’t. I want this. I’ll be living here. In the Tower. With you. With Ana.”

And that was the moment everything shifted.

You weren’t just dropping in and out of her life anymore. You weren’t a fleeting miracle or a reprieve between the chaos. You were staying. Permanently. Part of the team. Part of them.

A breath she didn’t know she’d been holding left her lungs all at once, and she couldn’t help the way her hand slid up to cup your cheek, holding you close as if anchoring herself to reality.

“You’re serious?” she asked.

You grinned. “Completely. They’re stuck with me now.”

She let out a dry laugh, shaking her head slightly. “Poor bastards.”

You tilted your head. “That wasn’t very supportive, Romanoff.”

“Oh, I’m supportive,” she said, leaning forward to kiss your jaw. “I’m just also a realist.”

You chuckled, but even you couldn’t hide how full your chest felt—because you knew. You knew what this meant to her. To all of you.

“I missed you too, you know,” you added after a moment, a little softer now. “Don’t think you were the only one close to losing your shit. They paired me with this guy in his thirties—had more field experience than me but didn’t even know how to operate an advanced interface system. Almost blew up the whole thing trying to sync it.”

Natasha raised a brow. “Seriously?”

You nodded. “At one point I had to take over and told him to step back before I sent him to basic training again. I’m pretty sure I growled.”

She smirked, drawing circles against Ana’s back absentmindedly. “Sounds like you were channeling me.”

You smiled and leaned down, resting your forehead against hers. “I think I just missed home.”

That word hit. Home.

And somehow, this—you, her, Ana, this bed—had become exactly that.

Natasha sighed, curling her fingers in the hem of your shirt. “Well… I hope you like shared showers and stolen hoodies.”

You chuckled. “It’s part of the contract.”

She smiled against your mouth. Finally. And maybe this wasn’t perfect. Maybe the world would keep throwing chaos their way. But at least for now, there was one solid truth Natasha could finally hold onto:

You were home. And you weren’t going anywhere

[ivyasproperty]

Code Red. pt 4 | N.R

older!Surgeon!Natasha × Younger!Intern!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N=35, R=24) hospital atmosphere, shooting mention, gun mention, blood, trauma, therapy, alcohol

word count: 12,3k

A/n: Tumblr has a freaking line limit, and I was stressing over it! So please, ignore the weird spacing. I had to mash a lot of things together just so Tumblr would let me upload it 💔

I even had to delete the entire ending and will have to add it in the next part, BECAUSE I RAN OUT OF SPACE

It had been thirty-one days. The hospital had changed since the shooting. There were more protocols. More drills. More doors that required keycards to open. But there were more people, too. New nurses, new faces from other cities, other programs. They’d flooded in like reinforcements when the ICU bled staff, some transferred, some promoted, some…never came back.

You were healed. The dressing had come off your shoulder weeks ago. The bruises were long faded. You walked clipboard under one arm, talking to nurses and humming under your breath when you thought no one was listening. Natasha always listened. She never stopped. “You’re staring again.” Maria murmured beside her at the nurses’ station, sipping coffee like it was a sedative.

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

Natasha shrugged. “Maybe I’m making sure my patient’s follow-up is behaving.”

Maria rolled her eyes. “Your ‘patient’ was cleared for full duty two weeks ago.”

Today, the sun slanted in through the long windows of the atrium. Late afternoon. The lull before the night shift. You were leaning against a column, chart in hand, when you saw Natasha approaching and smiled. “You steal my post-op notes again?”

Natasha’s voice floated, low and teasing, and you didn’t need to turn to know that signature smirk was already in place. You grinned as you looked up from the nurses’ desk. “Maybe I’m just trying to be more like you.”

“Dangerous goal.” Natasha said, resting a hand on the edge of the counter. “You might end up brooding and terrifying.”

You cocked a brow. “And somehow still everyone’s favorite?”

Natasha shrugged. “Can’t help it if I’m charming.”

You laughed, a real one. Loud, open. It earned a glance from a passing nurse, who smiled like they all did now when they saw the two of you in the same room. Like they knew. And why wouldn’t they?

Natasha brought you coffee every morning now, black with a sugar packet she’d roll between her fingers first, just like you liked. She reviewed your charts even when she wasn’t assigned to your service. Left little red pen corrections in the margins with sarcastic smiley faces.

She waited for you after night shifts, even when she wasn’t on-call. Once, she dozed off in the hallway chair with her hoodie pulled over her eyes, and you had smiled like your whole chest couldn’t hold it. Natasha leaned a little closer now, eyes flicking to the notes on your tablet. “You missed a decimal here.”

You sighed. “You’re gonna bring that up forever, aren’t you?”

“Yup.”

You looked up. “You’re a menace.”

Natasha’s lips twitched. “Only to interns I like.”

Something soft passed between you, just a glance, but enough to hold the weight of what you didn’t say. “Hey, Natasha!”

Addison’s voice cut clean through the hum of the nurses’ station. You straightened instinctively, but Natasha didn’t flinch. Addison walked toward you in her signature heels and dark red scrubs, hair tied up in a neat twist. She had that glow about her, the kind that always made people move just a little to the side when she entered a room.

“Montgomery.” she greeted. “Looking terrifyingly awake for a double shift.”

Addison smirked. “Someone’s gotta make up for your brooding.”

Natasha chuckled. “Touché.”

Addison turned to you, and the moment shifted, just a fraction. Your whole posture softened. Your smile went crooked in that familiar, loving way. And when Addison leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips, it wasn’t careful. It wasn’t hesitant.

It was yours. Natasha looked away politely, just for a second. But her smile didn’t drop. She held it like armor. Addison lingered with her forehead against yours for a heartbeat. “Lunch?”

“I get off in thirty.” you replied, and your voice..God, your voice was happy.

Addison nodded, then turned back to Natasha. “You good for the cardio consult at four?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Don’t scare the residents too much.”

“No promises.”

Addison laughed, then took your hand and walked off, still talking softly. And Natasha stood perfectly still. Her coffee was still warm in her hand. The smile still played at her lips. She didn’t look after you. Not right away. But when she did, it was just in time to see you glance back over your shoulder, just once. Just a flicker. Your eyes met.

And you smiled. Not the way you smiled at Addison, but soft. And Natasha smiled back. She stood alone at the nurse’s station, a full chart in front of her and absolutely no memory of what she’d just been reading. She exhaled slowly. Then circled something in red ink. A note you wouldn’t read later.

29 days before:

Natasha sits on the edge of a cold plastic chair, one in a loose circle of doctors gathered in a pale conference room. Her hands rest motionless on her knees, fingers interlocked so tightly her knuckles have turned white. People are talking around her, low murmurs of fear, anger, relief, yet each word drifts in and out of her consciousness as if muffled by cotton.

She is aware of the others in fragments: Dr. Chen wringing his hands as he recounts how he froze when the shots rang out; Nurse Bello blinking back tears describing the blood on her shoes. A therapist or counselor is guiding the discussion, voice gentle and measured, asking them to share whatever they can. Natasha hears the question float by “How are you processing this?” but it might as well be directed at someone else. She doesn’t lift her eyes. She doesn’t speak.

All she can see is the memory replaying in an endless loop behind her eyes. The harsh white lights of the OR reflecting on the pooled blood across your abdomen. Her own trembling hands pressed against your sternum, performing compressions in a desperate rhythm. She remembers counting under her breath, one, two, three trying to coax a heartbeat back. The monitor’s alarm screamed a flatline tone, a single, high-pitched note that drowned out rational thought.

Maria’s voice cutting through the chaos: “He will kill everyone in this room!” At the time Natasha had whipped her head around in disbelief. Then she saw it, him, standing just beyond the swinging OR doors, arm outstretched, the black eye of a handgun trained on them. In the group therapy room, Natasha’s jaw tightens imperceptibly. The others’ voices fade completely as the memories flood her. She feels again the paralytic fear that turned her limbs to stone. In the OR, a lifetime ago and only days ago, she had locked eyes with the gunman. His face was a blur behind her tears, but she remembers the cold steadiness of the barrel aimed her way.

Her heart had thundered in her ears. Maria’s voice had come again, strained and barely calm, “Let her go.” Natasha’s arms had gone rigid, her blood-slick hands hovering uselessly above your open chest. She could still feel the warmth of your skin beneath her palms, then the awful absence of it as she lifted her hands away. For a moment in time, Natasha truly believed it was the end. She was certain she was watching you die. The flatline droned on, and your face was so still, too still. The world narrowed to that single point: the space between one heartbeat and the next, a heartbeat that wasn’t coming. And Natasha had let go. At gunpoint, yes, but she let go.

Someone in the therapy circle clears their throat. The sudden sound yanks Natasha back to the present with a jolt. Her lungs burn; she realizes she’s been holding her breath. Across the circle, all eyes are on her now, the facilitator must have asked her something. Natasha quickly drops her gaze to the scuffed linoleum floor. When the session finally ends, chairs scraping as people stand, Natasha slips out without a word. No one stops her. The hallway air feels cooler on her clammy skin. She draws in a long breath, trying to steady the unsteady thumping of her heart. She survived the crisis. You survived. That’s what everyone keeps saying. Yet as Natasha stands alone in the corridor, all she can feel is the hollow ache left by the moment she thought she lost the woman she…

Without conscious thought, Natasha finds her feet carrying her to the ICU. She pauses just outside your room, fingers hovering at the observation window. The blinds are partially drawn, leaving a gap where she can see inside. You lie propped up in the adjustable bed, pale against the white sheets and connected to a forest of IV lines and monitors. The steady beep of the heart monitor is softer here than it was in the OR, but Natasha zeroes in on it immediately, each measured beep a reminder that you are alive. It’s both a comfort and a knife twist of guilt.

She watches from behind the glass, afraid to open the door. Her own reflection faintly overlays the image of you in the bed: disheveled red hair, haunted green eyes rimmed with exhaustion. She barely recognizes herself. Natasha stands there for a long minute, just watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest. The last time she saw you so still, there had been blood everywhere and a flatline threatening to never end. Seeing you breathing now should ease Natasha’s heart, but instead her chest only tightens.

You stir slightly, turning your head. Natasha steps back reflexively, out of view, her pulse jumping. Coward. She presses her back to the corridor wall beside the door, breathing shallowly. Part of her wants to flee before you notice her; she’s not ready to face those eyes, to field the questions you surely have. But another part of her aches just to be near, to reassure herself you are truly okay. That part wins out, albeit shakily.

Natasha slips quietly into the room. The faint scent of antiseptic and the low hum of the oxygen machine greet her. At the sound of the door, your eyes flutter open. They focus slowly on Natasha, and despite everything, one corner of your mouth lifts weakly. “Hey..” comes the whisper, raspy but warm.

“Hey.” Natasha echoes softly. Her voice is caught somewhere in her throat; she clears it and manages a small smile. She steps closer to the bed, stopping just out of arm’s reach. “You’re awake.”

Your eyes search her face. “Wouldn’t miss a chance to see you playing hooky from rounds..” you joke faintly. There’s a spark of humor in you despite the obvious pain it causes to speak. Ever the optimist.

Natasha’s answering chuckle is thin, but it passes for normal. “I’m just checking on a patient.” she replies, trying for lightness. She reaches for the clipboard at the end of the bed, scanning the vitals as a pretext to avoid meeting your gaze directly. Heart rate stable, blood pressure improving. All numbers that mean you are out of immediate danger. Natasha lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“They said I was pretty out of it after…” you begin, voice halting. “I don’t remember much. Just…pain, and then waking up here.” Your brow furrows as if trying to recall. “What happened? Is everyone-”

“Y/n.” Natasha gently cuts you off. Her heart gives a panicked flutter at the question. She forces a reassuring expression. “It’s okay. Everyone’s okay now.” You’re okay now. She carefully places the clipboard back. “You should rest. Don’t try to talk about it yet.”

You look unconvinced. Your hand twitches on the blanket, like you might reach out. “I heard I… I almost didn’t make it..” you murmur. Vulnerability shades your tone, fear, gratitude, confusion all at once. “They told me you saved my life.”

Natasha’s stomach twists. Heat prickles behind her eyes and she quickly turns her head under the guise of adjusting your IV drip. “The team saved your life.” she corrects softly, almost brusquely. Her own reflection in the dark monitor screen shows the flicker of anguish she’s trying to hide. “I just did my job.”

“But-”

“How’s your pain?” Natasha interrupts, grasping for any safer topic. “Do you need more meds?” It’s cowardly, changing the subject, but she can’t handle your gratitude. Not when she feels like the furthest thing from a hero.

You pause, realizing Natasha’s deflection. A shadow of hurt or worry crosses your expression, but you relent. “I’m okay. Sore… but I’m okay.”

An awkward silence stretches. Natasha forces herself to look at you directly now. The late afternoon light slants through the window, catching the gentle features of your face. You look tired, yes, and fragile in a way Natasha has never seen. But alive. Alive, because Natasha didn’t completely fail. The urge to reach out, to touch your cheek or squeeze your hand, wells up, but Natasha quashes it. She has no right, not with the secret she carries.

“That’s good..” Natasha says, and her voice comes out quieter than she intended. She clears her throat again. “You should get some sleep. I’ll, um, let you rest.” Your eyes flicker with disappointment that Natasha is already leaving, but you nod softly. “You’ll come by later?”

Today:

The cafeteria buzzed with its usual mid-shift chaos, forks clinking, pages fluttering, nurses weaving between tables with half-eaten salads and even less patience. Natasha sat across from Maria at a window-side table, untouched coffee in front of her, one elbow propped lazily on the tabletop as if she were actually listening.

She wasn’t. Her eyes were fixed across the room.

There, near the vending machines, you were laughing. Really laughing, head thrown back, hand on Addison’s shoulder, your scrubs wrinkled in the way that said you’d just come from surgery and hadn’t stopped smiling since. Addison leaned in to whisper something in your ear, and your face lit up like a goddamn sunrise.

Natasha’s jaw tightened. She didn’t even notice she was staring until Maria said her name for the second time. “Nat.”

No response. “Natasha.”

She blinked. “Hm?”

Maria arched a brow, her coffee halfway to her lips. “You heard absolutely none of that, did you?”

Natasha tried to play it off. She leaned back in her chair, flicked her eyes toward Maria. “Sorry. Thinking about the transplant case.”

Maria glanced at the untouched sandwich in front of her, then back at Natasha’s too-still face.

“Bullshit.”

Natasha’s lips curled in a half-hearted smirk. “What, you don’t think I’m committed to the art of liver transfers?”

Maria didn’t smile. She didn’t need to. Her eyes flicked once, subtle, sharp, toward the vending machines. Toward you and Addison. The way Addison’s hand brushed the small of your back. The way you leaned into it without thinking. Then Maria turned back, setting her cup down.

“This is exactly what I warned you about.”

Natasha’s smile faltered, just slightly. “Warned me about what?”

Maria didn’t blink. “Y/n slipping away. And you’re just sitting here watching it happen.”

Natasha forced a laugh, low, bitter. “Y/ns not mine to lose.”

“You were once.” Maria said calmly. “Or you could’ve been.”

Natasha shook her head, more to herself than anyone else. “It wasn’t like that.”

“It was exactly like that.” Maria said, voice still low but firm. “You just didn’t want to admit it. Not when she was lying in a hospital bed, not when she was asking for you every day, not when she looked at you like you were the only thing tethering her to this world.”

“That’s not fair-”

“What’s not fair,” Maria cut in, “is that she kept waiting. For you to do something. And instead, Addison walked in, cracked one joke, and you handed her the space you wouldn’t claim.”

Natasha’s throat worked. She looked down at her cup like maybe it held answers. “She’s happy.” she said after a long beat. “That’s what matters.”

Maria’s voice softened, but not in the way that gave comfort. “Don’t feed me that noble martyr crap.”

Natasha didn’t respond. Not directly. Her gaze drifted again, pulled by instinct, back to you, who were now holding Addison’s hand under the table. Smiling at her like she hung the stars. That smile used to be Natasha’s. Not really. Not officially. But close enough to believe it could’ve been.

“She’s not just happy..” Maria said quietly. “She’s in love. And you…you’re sitting here nursing a coffee you didn’t drink and pretending like it doesn’t feel like a knife every time she kisses someone who isn’t you.”

Natasha laughed once, too sharp. “Maybe I’m just growing.”

“Maybe you’re just scared.”

Natasha looked at her, finally. The smile was gone now. Her eyes weren’t angry, they were tired. “She deserves better than someone who didn’t know how to show up.”

Maria didn’t argue. She just leaned back in her chair, arms crossed, watching her friend crumble in real time.

“You’re still in love with her.” The words hung there. Natasha looked back to the vending machine. Addison kissed your temple. You leaned into her.

And Natasha, very quietly, smiled. “Yeah..” she said.

After that, Natasha walked fast, eyes locked on the tablet in her hand. Lab reports, liver enzymes, graft viability. The transplant consult was already behind schedule, and her attending hadn’t signed off on the pre-op labs yet. She moved like she always did when she had a case on her mind, quick, surgical, with every step meant for something. She turned the corner too sharply. And collided with someone. The tablet jolted, almost slipping from her fingers. She caught it by reflex.

“Shit, sorry-” the voice was familiar before she even looked up. Dr. Derek Shepherd. He steadied himself with one hand against the wall and let out an awkward half-laugh. “Didn’t mean to bodycheck you in your own hospital.”

Natasha blinked, still clutching the tablet. “I’ve had worse.” she muttered, brushing her shoulder. Her voice was calm. Almost too calm. Derek shifted on his feet. “Right. Uh…” He cleared his throat. “I’ve been meaning to..well, I know I already said it, but…I’m sorry. For what happened. For everything.”

She looked at him, expression unreadable. He went on anyway. “I didn’t know he’d come for me. I didn’t expect-”

“I know.” Natasha interrupted, gently. Not unkind, but final. “You don’t have to explain again.”

Derek nodded. “Still. I wasn’t sure if you…still blamed me.”

Natasha hesitated, then shook her head. “No. I blamed the wrong things for a while, but…not anymore.” Her voice was softer now, and maybe that’s what made it more painful. She wasn’t angry..just tired.

A beat passed. Something shifted in Derek’s face. “I’m glad you’re back.” he said honestly. “The OR feels different with you in it again.”

Natasha smiled, a faint curve of her lips. Not the sharp kind. Not sarcastic. Just quiet.

“Thanks.” she said. Derek stepped aside to let her pass. “It’s good…that things are finally normal again.”

Natasha looked at him for a long moment. Something flickered in her expression, something hollow. She nodded once. “Yeah..” she said. “Normal.”

27 days before:

Natasha stepped out of your room with her jaw clenched and her fists shoved deep into the pockets of her hoodie. The blanket you’d been curled under still clung to the ghost of your warmth. You hadn’t woken when she left. You were still sleeping, weak but alive.

She hated how much that still felt like a countdown. She made it halfway down the hallway before the tightness in her throat demanded air. She pushed into the small family break room, empty at this hour, and dropped into a chair at the table near the window. No monitors here. No beeping reminders. Just her and the thick, choking silence.

She sat there breathing too fast, knuckles pressed into her thighs. She could still see it. The scalpel glinting under trauma lights. Blood pooling like rainwater beneath the table.Your chest open. Your body limp. Your lips blue.

“She’s flatlined.”

“Natasha, let go.”

“There’s no rhythm.”

“LET. HER. GO.”

And Maria’s hand on the ECU cable. Unclamping it. Letting the monitor scream flat. She’d waited until she was alone for that. But now? Now the door opened. And the devil walked in wearing a white coat.

“Hey..” Derek said softly, stepping into the room. “I just checked up on her. She’s holding steady, it’s a good sign.”

Still, she said nothing. “She’s strong.” he added, voice gentler. “Stronger than any of us gave her credit for.”

Natasha’s jaw ticked. “She was the only staff member who got hit and survived..” Derek continued. “The others-”

“Don’t.” Natasha said, sharp. “Don’t finish that sentence.”

Derek blinked, taken aback. “I-”

“She almost died.” she said, her voice colder now. “Because of you.”

He froze. “She got shot. Shot! She had a bullet rip through her chest because you had ghosts you didn’t clean up.” Her voice cracked around the edge. “And you weren’t the one who paid for it.”

“Natasha-”

“She coded!” she snapped. “She coded, and they tried to make me let her go. While she still had warmth in her chest. While her blood was still flowing. Maria unclamped the cable so the machine would lie for her!”

Derek’s breath caught. “And you-” her voice dropped, dangerous now, “..you’re the reason he came.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do, Natasha.”

“She went through hell!” she hissed. “Woke up with a tube jammed between her ribs, no anesthetic, no sedatives. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move and you want to stand here and say she’s strong?”

“I didn’t say-”

“You didn’t have to.” she snapped. “You’re trying to make this easier for you. Trying to feel like this wasn’t your fault. But she almost died because someone wanted you dead. And I’m the one who had to hold her together.”

Derek didn’t speak. “You weren’t there when she whispered she didn’t want to die. When she cried into my chest because the pain was too much. You weren’t there when she told me to stop doing the calm voice, because she knew what it meant.”

Her hands trembled. “I had to choose between letting her die with dignity and slicing her open with a fucking scalpel while she screamed into her sleeve. I had to hurt her to save her. And the whole time, you know what I kept thinking?”

She looked up at him, eyes burning. “Why wasn’t it you instead?” Silence. Derek swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Good.” Natasha said. “But that doesn’t fix her ribs. Or her lungs. Or the fact that she’s afraid to sleep because the last time she closed her eyes, she died.”

The silence stretched. Then she stood. “I don’t want your apologies. I don’t want your guilt. Just stay the hell away from her.”

And she walked out. She stormed down the hallway, the echo of her own voice still ringing in her ears. Her skin itched with leftover adrenaline. Her fists were clenched. Every step felt too loud. She just needed air..needed out. Her blood was still humming with the weight of what she said and how much of it was true.

She hadn’t meant to say it. She’d meant to keep it all inside. But Derek’s voice..his concern, his gentleness, it scraped against the jagged edge inside her and all the broken things spilled out. She hadn’t planned to scream at him. She hadn’t planned to say she wished he’d been the one bleeding out on the table. But she had. And she hadn’t lied. Her boots hit the linoleum harder now, like her whole body was trying to outrun the shame curling in her throat.

“Nat.”

Maria’s voice, low and sharp. Natasha kept walking. Maria didn’t move. Just grabbed her arm, firm, and pulled her into an empty consult room off the hall. The door shut behind them with a soft click. The silence inside the room was heavy and instant.

Maria stood in front of her, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. “What happened?” Natasha didn’t answer. She moved toward the opposite wall, leaned against it with her jaw tight.

“Talk to me.” Maria said, slower now. “You’re not okay.”

“I never said I was.”

“No..” Maria snapped, “but I can see it.”

Natasha let out a bitter laugh. “You can see it because you’re back in the OR like nothing happened, while I’m still being evaluated like a mental patient.”

Maria’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “There it is.”

“What?”

“The jealousy.”

“Fuck off!”

“No.” Maria said, stepping forward. “Let’s be honest. You’re pissed that I’m cleared and you’re not.”

Natasha turned sharply, eyes flashing. “You think I care about surgical clearance?”

“I think you care that I look like I’m fine. That I’m functioning. That I’m moving on and you’re not.”

Natasha barked a humorless laugh. “You are fine.”

“No..” Maria said, quieter now. “I’m not. I’m just better at hiding it.”

Natasha shook her head. “You didn’t beg them to let you keep holding her heart after she flatlined.”

“No. I was the one who told you to let go.”

That silence hit like a gunshot. Natasha’s hands clenched. “You lied.”

“I protected you.”

“No..” she growled. “You made me think she was gone. You unclamped the damn cable!”

“She was gone, Nat.”

“No, she wasn’t! She was still warm. Her heart was twitching. I felt it. I had her blood under my nails and you wanted me to pretend it was over!”

“I needed you to breathe!” Maria snapped. “You were seconds away from breaking in front of the shooter!”

“Then maybe I should’ve!”

Silence. Natasha’s shoulders dropped. Her voice broke open. “She wasn’t supposed to get hit. It wasn’t supposed to be her. The shooter came for Derek. She got caught in it. And now she..she wakes up crying. She breathes like it hurts. She doesn’t know what happened.” Maria was quiet. Watching her unravel.

“And I’m..” Natasha swallowed. “I don’t know what this is anymore. I’m furious. At you. At him. At me. I keep walking past her room like I’m being dragged back into fire, and then I can’t make myself walk in. I sit at the table and I think if I look at her too long, I’ll snap. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.”

Maria stepped closer. Her voice softened just enough. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then why am I like this?”

Maria didn’t answer right away. So Natasha filled the space herself. Her voice shaking now. “I can’t stop seeing it. Her body open. Her face slack. That second where she died under my hands, and I knew if I let go, she’d be gone. And now? Every time I see her breathing, I want to scream and cry and throw something.”

Her hands were trembling. “I don’t know what I feel.”

Maria looked at her carefully. Then said the one thing Natasha couldn’t bring herself to say: “You love her.”

“That’s none of your business..” Natasha muttered, voice hard.

“It became my business the second I saw her wake up and look around for you.”

That landed. Natasha’s jaw clenched. “She don’t need me there.”

“She wanted you there.”

Natasha said nothing. Maria’s voice dropped lower now. Gentle. Almost sad. “And now you’re not the only one she’s looking for.”

Natasha’s gaze flicked to her. “What?”

Maria hesitated. “Addison.”

Natasha blinked. “The new trauma nurse?”

“She came in with the post-shooting support team.”

“And?”

“She’s been visiting Y/n. A lot..I saw her talking.” Maria continued. “Yesterday. And again this morning.”

Natasha’s throat tightened. “Talking..” she echoed flatly.

Maria’s head tilted. “Laughing.”

Natasha’s jaw ticked. “I don’t know what it is.” Maria said honestly. “But I know it’s new. And I know you’re watching her slip through your fingers while you’re still hiding behind a damn window.”

“I’m not hiding.”

“You’re not showing up either.”

Natasha’s voice cracked. “You don’t get it.”

“I do.” Maria’s voice sharpened. “You’re scared. I know that. You almost lost her. I was in that OR with you, remember? I saw you fall apart in silence. But this..what you’re doing now, it’s not protecting her.”

Natasha’s arms folded tighter. “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“Start with ‘hi.’”

A bitter laugh left Natasha’s throat. Maria stepped closer. “She keeps asking about you.”

Natasha flinched. “She still looks at the door when someone walks in, like she’s hoping it’s you.” Maria said. “But it never is. And now? Addison’s the one walking through it.”

Silence. Maria softened. “Nat, you were the last person she saw before they pushed anesthesia. You were the last person who touched her heart before it stopped. You fought for her when everyone else gave up.”

She paused. “But none of that matters if you don’t show up now.”

Natasha’s fingers dug into her own arms. “I’m not…what if she doesn’t want me like that? What if she’s just grateful, and I’ve been reading it wrong this whole time?”

Maria smiled sadly. “Then find out. But do it before Addison does.”

Today:

The OR was cold, bright, silent, the kind of silence that buzzed just beneath the skin. Natasha stood at the head of the table, eyes locked on the open chest cavity in front of her. Everything else blurred around the edges. She had waited for this. Worked her ass off for it. One month post-shooting. Cleared. Back on the board. And her first transplant in weeks, a complicated arterial graft, high-risk.

And she was in her element. “Retractor.” she said quietly. “Suction to the left. I’m going for the clamp in three.”

She could hear the nurses shifting. Her team moving as one. She barely needed to look up. And then, the door slid open. Natasha didn’t glance up.

“Assistant requested?” came a familiar voice.

Addison... Of course. Natasha didn’t breathe. Just gave the briefest nod. “Welcome to the table.” Addison stepped into her field like she belonged there. She always did. Her gloved hands hovered just inside the sterile line, ready to step in.

“Need a vascular whisperer, huh?” Addison smiled beneath her mask.

Natasha’s lips barely moved. “Wall’s too calcified. Graft line’s tight.”

“Mm. Got it.” Addison leaned in, eyes scanning. “This part’s always delicate. You’re doing great.”

Natasha focused harder on the scalpel in her hand. They worked in tandem, moving without needing more than a word. But Addison? Addison was always the talker. And Natasha should’ve known she wouldn’t stay silent.

“You know.” Addison said softly, conversationally, like they weren’t elbows-deep in someone’s chest, “She told me this was the first surgery she ever watched you do.”

Natasha’s pulse stuttered. She said nothing. Addison kept going. “She said she watched you work like it was watching fire. That you didn’t even look real. I get it now.”

A nurse passed Natasha the graft tool. Her fingers shook, just for a second. “She always speaks so highly of you,.” Addison continued. “It’s cute, really..”

Natasha didn’t answer. Just clamped. “They told me you kept her alive. That you refused to stop even when the odds were nothing.”

“Focus.” Natasha said quietly. “I need to finish the arterial line.”

Addison didn’t flinch. She just softened her voice. “They said you didn’t let her go. Not even when they told you to. I’m…really glad you were there.”

Natasha didn’t respond. Couldn’t. Her eyes were glued to the thread-thin suture she was guiding through tissue and graft. Her jaw was locked. Her shoulders too still. Addison’s voice turned even gentler. “She’s alive because of you. And I get to love her because of you.”

There it was. That last part was a whisper. Almost an offering. And Natasha..She smiled. That tight, too-sharp, I-might-destroy-something smile that never reached her eyes.

“Well.” she murmured. “Glad to be of service.”

Addison smiled too, oblivious or maybe willfully blind. “You’re kind of a miracle worker.”

Natasha didn’t speak. She might’ve thrown the scalpel across the room if it hadn’t still been in her hand. They finished the graft in silence. And when the new heart began to beat beneath her fingertips, strong, steady, she knew it wasn’t the only one still bleeding.

Just the only one allowed to show it. Natasha stood at the scrub sink post-op, letting the hot water scorch her palms. Her gloves were off. Her mask hung from one ear. Her eyes were fixed on the stream of pink-tinged water circling the drain, a mess rinsing clean. Too bad that didn’t work on her chest..The door creaked open behind her. She didn’t look up.

“Hell of a job.” Addison said, her voice smooth as silk and twice as dangerous. Natasha didn’t respond. Just kept scrubbing.

Addison stepped closer, her own mask now gone, red hair tied back, skin glowing from OR lights and a little victory rush.

“You still work like a goddamn machine.” she added, admiring. “Cold hands, warm heart… no pun intended.”

Natasha shot her a look in the mirror. “You coming in here for compliments or to gloat?”

“She talks about you, you know.” Addison said, voice softer now. “Y/n. Not the way I’d expect, given your history. Not with bitterness. Not even anger.”

Natasha’s expression didn’t change, but the pulse in her throat betrayed her. Addison leaned in slightly. “She talks like someone who never really got over something she didn’t let herself want.”

“I was her boss.”

“She was also in your bed.”

Natasha didn’t move. Addison’s smile widened. “One night, right?”

Natasha turned her head. Slowly. “Why are we talking about this?”

“Because I think it matters to you more than you let on.”

The air thickened. “I think..” Addison said, stepping back just a little, enough to feel like a threat pulled away, “you had her. You let her go. And now you can’t stand to see someone else hold what you dropped.”

Natasha laughed under her breath. Dry and dangerous. “You sound awfully smug for someone still checking over their shoulder.”

Addison’s gaze sharpened. “Oh, I’m not worried. She loves me.”

Natasha’s jaw twitched. “That’s new.”

Addison smiled. “No, Natasha. That’s earned.”

The OR was long cleared. The adrenaline had faded. The applause, the soft congratulations, the proud looks from the interns, it was all gone now. And Natasha was alone. The desk in the resident workroom was cluttered with post-op paperwork. Charts, vitals, blood gas reports, transplant summaries. Neatly stacked, just how she liked them. Her pen moved in clean, practiced strokes, her handwriting steady even when her heart wasn’t.

It had taken everything in her to keep still during that surgery. Everything not to shake when Addison leaned closer, asked for the scalpel, and casually said, “She talks about you, you know.” Everything not to respond. Not to react. Not to scream.

Natasha clenched her jaw now, eyes locked on the patient chart, but she wasn’t reading the numbers. Her focus had shifted somewhere quieter. Somewhere painful. The door opened. She didn’t look up. Maria walked in like she belonged there, because she did. Clipboard in one hand, a half-eaten protein bar in the other. Her steps slowed when she saw Natasha still sitting there, back rigid, shoulders squared like she was in an invisible battle.

“I heard you were in the transplant with Addison..” Maria said, soft but pointed. Natasha didn’t answer. Maria stepped closer, leaned against the desk. “How’d it go?”

The question hung between them. Natasha took her time placing her pen down, folding the chart closed with perfect care. She adjusted the edge until it aligned exactly with the stack beneath it. Her hand stayed on the file for a second longer than necessary. Then, finally, she looked up. Her eyes were bloodshot, but dry. Her voice was even, but low.

“You were right.” Natasha said. Maria tilted her head. “About what?”

“I lost her.”

The words didn’t slam out, they fell, heavy and quiet, like a knife dropped onto concrete. Maria’s breath hitched, just slightly. She didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Just let Natasha keep going.

“I kept telling myself there’d be time..” Natasha said, eyes unfocused. “That I’d wait until she was better. Stronger. Until I was cleared. Until I wasn’t a mess.”

A bitter smile tugged at her lips. “But Addison didn’t wait.”

Silence. “I watched her put her hand on her shoulder in the scrub room last week. Like it meant something. Like she belonged there.” Natasha exhaled slowly, like the admission physically hurt. “And maybe she does.”

Maria’s voice was quiet. “She only got in because you never tried.”

Natasha let her head fall back slightly, eyes flicking to the ceiling. “I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of being the person who loved someone and didn’t know how to keep them!”

Maria took a step forward. “Nat-”

“I thought if I stayed quiet, if I kept my distance, it would make everything easier.”

She laughed under her breath. “It didn’t.”

Maria didn’t say I told you so. She didn’t need to. She just stood there, watching the strongest woman she knew finally let the truth settle into her bones. Natasha pressed her palms flat to the desk, bracing herself. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “She looked so happy today.”

Maria said gently, “Would you rather she wasn’t?”

Natasha closed her eyes. “No. God, no.”

Her jaw trembled. “I just wish it was me.”

Silence wrapped around them again, not cruel, but raw. Maria reached over, placed a steady hand on Natasha’s shoulder. “She’s not gone. You didn’t lose her like that. You just…let her slip through your fingers.”

Natasha didn’t flinch. “She was in your hands once, Nat. Heart in your hands. And now someone else is holding it.” The chart beneath her hand still bore your name in neat black ink. Natasha stared at it. And didn’t move.

24 days before:

Natasha sat stiffly in the therapist’s office chair, arms crossed tightly over her chest. The small room felt too warm, too close, but her posture remained impeccably controlled. She answered the therapist’s gentle questions with clipped, clinical precision.

“I’m fine.” she said for the third time, her voice cool and even. “It was an unfortunate incident, but I’m ready to get back to work.”

The hospital trauma therapist , a middle-aged woman with kind eyes and a soft voice nodded patiently, pen hovering over a notepad. “You went through a lot, Dr. Romanoff.” the therapist said quietly. “It’s okay if you’re not completely fine. Let’s talk about what happened in that OR.”

At the mention of the OR, Natasha’s jaw tightened. Her mind immediately pushed back against the memory threatening to surface, your blood on her gloves, the flatline tone screaming in her ears, the cold muzzle of a gun at her temple. She forced those images down, focusing instead on the steady tick of the clock on the wall.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Natasha replied, forcing a shrug. The effect was meant to be nonchalant, but her shoulders felt rigid. “My patient is alive. I did my job. End of story.”

Her tone was measured, almost detached. Only the slight tremor in her fingers, hidden as she clasped her hands in her lap, hinted at anything beneath the cool exterior. She was determined to keep it that way. Years of training taught her how to lock away fear and pain behind a steel wall of professionalism. She wasn’t about to let it crack now. The therapist offered a sympathetic smile. “Natasha…may I call you Natasha?”

A curt nod was the only answer she got. “Natasha, you performed CPR on her for nearly 4 minutes. You were still doing compressions when the shooter came in and forced you to stop at gunpoint.”

Natasha’s stomach clenched at the calm description of that horrific moment. She fixed her gaze on a spot on the floor, willing her face to remain impassive. The therapist continued gently, “That is a tremendous amount of trauma for anyone to process, especially when the person on that table is someone you…” she paused, “care about.”

For a split second, Natasha’s eyes squeezed shut, a flash of pain breaking through. Care about. The phrase was such an understatement it was almost laughable. But when Natasha opened her eyes again, they were cold, guarded.

“With respect.” she said sharply, “I don’t need a counseling session to tell me what I already know. I saved her life. It was traumatic, sure, but I’ve seen traumatic things before. I’m trained for this.”

Her words came out harder than intended, a defensive edge creeping in. The therapist leaned forward slightly, unfazed by Natasha’s icy tone. “You’re trained to handle medical emergencies, yes. But this wasn’t just any emergency. This was someone you love in danger.”

Natasha flinched at the word love and quickly masked it by sitting up even straighter. She bit the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood, using the sharp pain to ground herself.

“It’s my job to handle it.” she replied, voice brittle. “And I handled it. She’s alive. I’m fine.”

The repetition of that phrase..I’m fine sounded hollow even to her own ears, and she hated it. She hated that her emotions were threatening to surface here, in this sterile room under the scrutiny of a stranger’s empathy. The therapist made a note on her pad, then looked back at Natasha, her expression gentle but firm. “I understand why you’d want to move on quickly. But the hospital requires clearance after an incident like this. I need to be sure you’re really ready. Right now, it sounds like you’re avoiding the feelings this brought up.”

Natasha’s temper, usually so carefully controlled, flickered at that. “Avoiding?” she echoed, a harsh, humorless laugh escaping before she could stop it. “What do you want me to say? That I was scared?”

She uncrossed her arms and leaned forward, her green eyes narrowing. “Of course I was scared. Any surgeon would be, in that situation. But I did what I had to do. I don’t see how dissecting my feelings about it now is going to help anyone.”

The therapist met her glare calmly. “Talking about it can help you, Natasha. You went into fight-or-flight mode and haven’t come down. It might help to acknowledge what you went through. You didn’t just witness a trauma; you experienced it firsthand.”

She paused, voice softening. “You almost lost someone you love in that OR.”

Natasha’s controlled facade wavered. She felt a burning pressure behind her eyes and immediately looked away to stare at the diploma on the wall. Her throat worked as she swallowed hard. Almost lost was an understatement. In her mind’s eye she saw your body jerking under her hands with each compression, saw the heart monitor flatline…heard her own voice screaming your name. Natasha’s fingers dug into her palm so hard it hurt. Don’t you dare, she scolded herself, fighting back the sting of tears.

She would not break down. Not here. Silence hung between them for a long moment. At last, the therapist sighed quietly and closed the notebook. “Natasha, I can’t clear you for surgical duty yet.”

Natasha’s head snapped up. “Excuse me?”

Her voice came out sharp, disbelief and anger lacing the words. A hot spike of frustration shot through her chest. “I’m perfectly capable of operating.” The therapist’s words felt like a slap; surgery was Natasha’s purpose, the one area she always maintained control. Now they wanted to bench her? Her nails bit deeper crescents into her palms.

“I know this is frustrating.” the therapist replied evenly. “But your reactions today show me that you’re still in a state of acute stress. If I send you back to the OR without processing this, it could be dangerous for you and for your patients. You need a little more time and support. Maybe another session or two.”

Natasha shot to her feet, pacing a few steps across the tiny office. The controlled mask was slipping, anger seeping through the cracks. “I don’t need time!” she insisted, each word clipped. “What I need is to do my job. Sitting here talking in circles isn’t helping anyone.”

She knew she was practically snarling, but she couldn’t help it. Being told no ignited something panicked in her chest, a desperate need to regain normalcy, to scrub off the lingering feeling of helplessness by throwing herself back into work. The therapist remained seated, eyes following Natasha with a mix of concern and resolve. “Natasha, please..” she said softly. “This isn’t a punishment. You went through something terrible. It’s only been a week.” Only a week.

It felt like an eternity trapped in one endless nightmare replaying behind Natasha’s eyes. She dragged a hand through her hair, realizing belatedly it was trembling and quickly dropping it back to her side. She took a breath, forcing her voice into a colder register. “I said, I’m fine. I don’t need more time.”

But the quaver beneath her words betrayed her. Even she heard it. The therapist stood now as well, maintaining a respectful distance. “I’m sorry.” she said, and she truly sounded sorry. “I know you want to get back to the OR, but I have to do what’s best for you. For now, I’m not clearing you.”

Natasha’s hands balled into fists at her sides. A storm of emotion roiled in her chest , indignation, fear, and an ache of frustration threatening to choke her. She didn’t trust herself to speak. If she opened her mouth, she wasn’t sure whether a scream or a sob might come out.

Instead, she gave a tight nod, snatched her jacket from the chair, and strode to the door. Her vision blurred for just an instant as she grasped the doorknob. Pull it together, she scolded herself harshly. She blinked the wetness from her eyes, willing her composure back. Without another word or a backward glance, Natasha yanked the door open and stepped out into the hallway, letting it shut perhaps a bit too hard behind her.

Today:

The hospital floor had settled into a lull. Monitors beeped lazily. The fluorescent lights above cast a soft white glow over tired staff. At the edge of the counter, Natasha Romanoff stood with one hand on a patient chart, pen poised, focus razor-sharp. Or at least, that’s what she wanted it to look like. She wasn’t writing. She was pretending to write. And Maria Hill saw right through it.

“Uh huh..” Maria said, striding up beside her. “Busy with that chart, I see. Real intense.”

Natasha didn’t look up. “Complicated case.”

“Right.” Maria drawled. “So complicated you forgot to call back the girl I hand-delivered to you.”

Natasha gave her a glance. “You what?”

“That ICU nurse. Red scrubs. Obvious crush. You were supposed to call her three nights ago.”

Natasha shrugged, barely hiding her smirk. “I got distracted.”

Maria crossed her arms. “You haven’t touched anyone in weeks.”

“Not a crime.”

“It is when you’re Romanoff and you’re acting like a nun. Something’s wrong with the world order.”

Natasha’s smirk twitched wider. “I’ve evolved.”

“You’ve repressed.” Just then, a laugh echoed down the hallway. The kind that hit too loud, too warm. Maria and Natasha both looked. You.

Coming out of one of the one-night rooms. Scrubs a little wrinkled. Cheeks flushed. Addison Montgomery trailing behind you with the cocky kind of smirk that only came from a very satisfying break. You were laughing at something Addison whispered into your ear. The sound hit Natasha in the chest like a punch wrapped in silk.

Maria’s voice softened just slightly. “They’ve got rhythm now, huh?” Natasha didn’t answer. She just looked away, pen tapping absently against the edge of the chart.

“She’s happy.” she said after a moment. “That’s what matters.”

Maria narrowed her eyes. “You mean that?”

“I mean it.”

“You’re over it?”

“I’m fine, Maria.”

“Sure..” Maria said, too sweet. “You look great. Pale. Unkissed. Basically one step from adopting twelve cats and crying during shampoo commercials.”

Natasha snorted, finally giving her a real look. “You’re dramatic.”

“And you’re lying.”

Natasha tilted her head, amused. “Oh?”

Maria leaned in, eyes sly. “You used to bring women to their knees with a look, Nat. You flirted like it was a blood sport. You had entire departments whispering after you walked by.”

“And now?”

Maria shrugged. “Now you’re reading vitals like they’re romance novels and making up fake cases so you don’t have to walk past the one-night rooms.”

Natasha exhaled a laugh, dry and low. Maria didn’t let up. “I miss that Romanoff. The one who made the air thick with tension. Who could snap her fingers and make anyone follow her into a storage closet just to beg.”

Natasha raised a brow. “Beg?”

“You know I’m right.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Natasha’s smile turned sharper. She tilted her head, lips parting slowly.

“You want that Romanoff back?”

“I dare you.” Maria said, grinning.

Just then, a nurse passed by, tall, striking, early thirties, glancing up from her tablet. She caught Natasha’s eye. Blushed. Fumbled slightly with her pen. Maria arched a brow. “Perfect timing.”

Natasha didn’t hesitate. She stepped away from the nurses’ station and fell into step beside the woman, voice smooth as honey.

“Hey.” Natasha said, easy and low. “Long shift?”The nurse looked up, visibly startled, and then visibly flustered. “Yeah..Ten hours.”

Natasha offered the kind of smile that always came with a price. “You know what helps with that?”

The nurse swallowed. “What?”

“Letting someone else do all the hard work.”

Maria almost choked on her own coffee. The nurse laughed, nervously, excitedly, and Natasha leaned in just a little.

“I’ve got ten minutes..” she murmured, “and I promise you won’t be thinking about work when I’m done.”

The nurse blushed hard. “Are you-do you mean..?”

Natasha nodded toward the hallway. “Supply room. Now or never.”

The nurse didn’t even hesitate. As they disappeared together into the hall, Natasha tossed one last glance over her shoulder at Maria. Maria raised her arms in mock worship. “There she is!” Natasha winked. And vanished into the dark with the nurse.

Days later, Natasha blinks down at the chart in her hand again, but the words blur. She’s not even supposed to be here, her shift ended thirty minutes ago, but the second she saw the name on the appointment list, she hadn’t walked away. She hadn’t even hesitated. The door clicks open behind her.

“Nat?”

She turns. You stand there in scrubs, slightly flushed from running up the stairs. Your smile is tight, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your sleeve.

“I, uh..” You clear your throat. “I was supposed to have a follow-up with one of the trauma nurses today. About the scar. And they need someone from cardio to sit in.”

Natasha arches a brow. “You could’ve asked anyone.”

“Yeah.” You bite your lip. “But I asked you..”

That pulls Natasha short. For a beat, she just…stares. She knows Addison works the late shift today. Knows this isn’t about logistics. Not entirely. And for the briefest second, she lets herself feel it, that flicker of something private.

“I’ll come.” she says quietly.

You smile, wide this time, and lead the way. The room smells like antiseptic and lavender lotion, a weird mix, like someone tried to cover up the clinical with something softer. You sit on the exam table, legs dangling. Natasha leans against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, pretending to be casual. She’s not.

“So…” You look down. “You and that nurse.”

Natasha’s head tilts. “Which nurse?”

You smirk. “Oh come on. The one with the long lashes. Room 4C?”

Natasha chuckles, surprised. “You keeping tabs on me now?”

“No.” You shrug. “Just proud of you.”

That hits deeper than it should. Natasha blinks. “We’ve been through hell.” you say softly. “And now you’re, you know. Living again. That’s a good thing.”

Natasha says nothing. The silence stretches a little too long. So you look away, your voice dipping lower. “I mean, I don’t know everything that happened that day. What it was like for you. But I know it must’ve been…more.”

More than you can imagine. More than anyone knows. Before Natasha can respond, the door opens and a nurse steps in. “Hey.” the woman says brightly. “You ready to take a look?”

You nod, swallowing hard. Your posture shifts..stiffens. Natasha sees it immediately. The tension in your jaw. The way your hands twist in your lap. “Just need to raise the gown a little..there we go.”

The nurse gently lifts the hem, exposing the scar across your chest. It’s mostly healed now, red and jagged but clean. No infection. No swelling. But it’s not the physical part that gets you. It’s the look in your eyes. Wide. Flickering. Lost in a memory you don’t want to relive.

Natasha swallows. And then, without thinking, she moves. Her hand slides into yours. You flinch for half a second, but then exhale slow, shaky. You squeeze back. Just once. Natasha’s eyes drop to the scar. She sees the angle of it. The tissue damage. Her own scalpel. Her own hands. And suddenly-

Blood.

Suction.

Flatline.

The weight of a heart in her palm.

She blinks it away before it swallows her. The nurse murmurs something about tissue healing well and finishes up, giving you both a quick smile before ducking out. The second the door clicks shut, you finally speak.

“It still hurts sometimes.”

Natasha nods. “I know.”

You look at her. And for a second, neither of you pretends. After a while the doctor existed you.

“Hey.” you say, almost hesitant. “Are you… doing anything tonight?”

Natasha blinks, caught off guard. “No. Not unless a liver decides to rupture last-minute.”

You smile. “Wanna go to Joe’s?”

Natasha looks at you. Really looks at you. “Joe’s?”

“Yeah. Just us. I, um…I want to talk to you. Something important.” Something warm flutters in Natasha’s chest. Not fast. Not loud. Just…there.

She nods. “Sure.” The bar isn’t full yet. Just the low hum of chatter, a clink of glasses, and the smell of fried everything. You claim the usual booth in the back, the one you’d stumbled into on late nights after 36-hour shifts, shoes kicked off beneath the table. You’re already sipping a beer when Natasha joins you.

You talk for nearly an hour. About the new cardio attending who thinks he’s God’s gift to women and can’t intubate for shit. About Addison’s constant NPR podcasts in the morning. About that intern who almost passed out during a C-section. Natasha laughs more than she expects to. And every time you smile at her, really smile something unravels a little deeper in her chest. Then you go quiet. Your fingers toy with the edge of a napkin.

“Okay..” you say finally. “This is the part I was nervous about.”

Natasha straightens slightly, heart picking up just enough for her to feel it. “I’ve been meaning to tell you..” you continue, voice gentle. “But I didn’t want to just spring it on you at work.”

Natasha swallows. “Okay…”

You look up at her, eyes warm, almost shy. “I’m getting married.”

The words land like ice water. Natasha doesn’t flinch. She smiles. “Oh.” she says, her voice honey-smooth. “Wow. Congratulations.”

Your face lights up, radiant, soft. “Thanks.”

Natasha doesn’t blink. She can’t afford to. “I wanted to tell you before it went around the hospital..” you add. “And I wanted to…ask you something.”

Natasha nods once, tight. Bracing. “I’d really love if you came to the wedding.”

Natasha laughs, light, effortless, the way she’s perfected it. “You want me there when Addison says ‘I do’? That’s brave.”

You smile, a little bashful. “You’re not just anyone. You…you saved my life. You were there when I came back. And somehow, even with all the crazy and all the silence, you became one of my closest friends.”

Natasha’s throat burns. But she nods. “Of course I’ll be there.” Your shoulders drop with relief. “Really?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” There’s a long pause, soft and full of nothing but old music and the distant crack of a pool ball across the bar. “You’re important to me, Nat.” you say quietly.

Natasha looks at you then. And for just a second, a flicker, a heartbeat, she lets the smile drop. Just enough for it to feel real. “I know.” she whispers.

“You can bring someone to the wedding. If you want.”

Natasha blinks, startled for just a second. “Oh. Uh…”

“I mean..” you continue quickly, “you don’t have to. I just thought, I don’t know. That nurse..?”

Natasha smirks faintly. “Sophie.”

You smile. “Right. Sophie.”

Natasha nods. “I’ll ask her.”

You nudge her again, teasing this time. “So it is serious.”

Natasha’s smile stays in place. Just the right shape. Just the right strength. “She knows what she’s doing.” she says lightly. “Smart. Funny. Kind of scary with a scalpel.”

You grin. “Your type, then.”

Then she picked up her drink. “To love.”

“To love.” you repeat.

It was getting late. The kind of late where the streets are mostly empty and the neon beer signs flicker like they’re too tired to glow properly. Inside, Joe’s is half-lit and half-full, music soft and low, the clatter of glasses still carrying over low conversations.

Natasha leans back against the booth, her second, no, fourth, whiskey sliding warm through her veins. Her cheeks are flushed, her hair a little messy from where she’s run her fingers through it a hundred times tonight. Across from her, you laugh, red in the cheeks, buzzing with that same alcohol warmth. Your beer is barely touched, but the shots Maria lined up earlier had done enough damage.

“I can’t believe you actually challenged Mark to a ‘who can hold a plank longer’ contest!” you giggle, leaning forward to steal one of the peanuts from Natasha’s side of the table.

“He insulted my abs.” Natasha slurs a little, smug. “That’s a war crime.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re laughing.” Natasha points out, finger waggling dramatically. “Which means you love it.”

“I think I’m just drunk.”

“Drunk on me..again.” Natasha declares with a lazy smirk. You roll your eyes but grin. “You’re such a menace when you drink.” You finish the last of your glasses in clinks and shaky giggles, Natasha tilting her head back to drain the final sip. She exhales hard and slow, letting the silence fall for just a beat between you. Then, Natasha murmurs, “I wish I was her.”

You furrow your brow. “Who?” Natasha blinks, eyes heavy-lidded. “Addison.”

There’s a pause. Then you snort. “Are you drunk-flirting with me again?”

“I’m serious.” Natasha says, voice suddenly softer. “I wish I was the one who got to hold your hand in public. Got to kiss you whenever I wanted. Got to…just be with you.”

You stare at her. “Nat-”

But Natasha’s eyes are glassy now, her voice dipping somewhere vulnerable and dangerous. “You remember that night? The one night. Before the hospital. Before the shooting.“ You don’t answer. Natasha sways slightly in her seat, drunk and raw. “It wasn’t nothing. Not to me.”

A beat of silence. Then Natasha’s hand moves, hesitant, trembling, reaching across the table to cover yours. And you don’t pull away. So Natasha leans forward. She’s close enough to taste the alcohol on your breath, to see the flicker of uncertainty in your eyes. Close enough that if you moved an inch forward, your mouths would meet.

And then they do. Just for a second. Lips brushing, soft and unsure, a kiss not of hunger, but ache. But the second it happens- You pull back. Not harsh or angry. Just startled. Reality slamming between you. Natasha jerks back, guilt flashing instantly across her face. “Shit- shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

You exhale, blinking hard. “It’s okay.”

“I didn’t mean to-” Natasha scrubs her hand across her face. “No, I did, but I shouldn’t have-”

You reach out gently, laying your hand on Natasha’s arm. “Hey.”

Natasha stops. “It’s okay..” you repeat, quieter now. “You’re drunk. I’m drunk. And we’re both a little stupid tonight.”

Natasha laughs, hollow and small. You give a soft smile back. “Let’s just get home before one of us makes another mistake.”

Natasha nods, throat tight. “Yeah. Good idea.” But as you stumble out into the night, side by side, shoulders brushing- Natasha doesn’t stop wishing she could go back. Just one more second..Just long enough to see if you would’ve kissed her back if you hadn’t pulled away first.

1 Month later:

The hospital hums like it always does, monitors beeping, carts rattling down hallways, someone yelling about a misplaced chart. But something’s different. Something feels different. Everyone’s smiling more. Because everyone knows what today is.

“Bride incoming!” someone calls out as you step off the elevator, clipboard in hand. A round of playful cheers echo from the nurses’ station.

You roll your eyes but can’t help the grin tugging at your lips. “You guys are ridiculous.”

“You’re the one still working on your wedding day..” An intern calls from across the hallway, raising a brow. “That’s what’s ridiculous.”

“I just had one patient left to check on.” you insist, waving the chart. “It’s not like I’m gonna flatline on the way to the altar.”

“You better not.” a nurse mutters. “Or we’re doing CPR in tulle.”

That earns a laugh. But even as the staff clears the path for you, teasing and cheering, you duck behind a corner near the stairwell, just for a second. Just to breathe.

And then- “Really?” Addison’s voice rings out with that unmistakable blend of fondness and sass. “You’re hiding?”

You wince and peek around the corner. Addison is standing there in wine-colored scrubs, her hair half-up, makeup soft and done just enough to hint at the occasion. Your smile is sheepish. “I just needed a second.”

Addison steps closer, arms crossed. “You do know the whole ‘you can’t see the bride’ thing only counts when the bride’s actually in the dress, right?”

You huff a laugh. “Yeah, well. Close enough.”

Addison’s gaze softens. “You okay?”

“I’m…excited.” you admit. Then, quieter, “And maybe a little freaked out.”

Addison steps forward, slipping her arms gently around your waist. “That’s fair. But I promise not to let you run.”

You lean into her, breathing in the familiar scent of Addison’s perfume, something clean and crisp, like citrus and lavender. “You’d tackle me in the aisle, wouldn’t you?”

Addison smirks. “With love.”

You stand there for a quiet beat, the sound of the hospital fading under the weight of the moment.

“Do I at least get to see the dress before the ceremony?” Addison asks, nosing along your temple.

You pull back just enough to grin. “Nope. Rules are rules.”

Addison groans. “You’re impossible.”

“You love it.”

“I do.”

Your cheeks flush. “I’ll head out soon. Just wanted one last round.”

“Of what?” You look around the hospital, your second home. Your battlefield. The place that nearly broke you…and gave you everything. “One last moment before everything changes.”

Addison presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you at the altar.” You move down the corridor with a tablet in hand, scribbling notes from your last patient. Your hair is pulled up hastily, your badge slightly crooked, but you’re focused, in that calm, collected way you always are when your mind is busy. “Watch it-”

You collide into someone turning the corner. The tablet nearly drops, but steady hands catch you before it does. “Gotcha.” a familiar voice murmurs. You look up. Natasha. All black scrubs. Her hair is pulled back messily, and there’s a light sheen of sweat on her temples, the kind that only comes from a surgery done right. You exhale a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Sorry, I wasn’t looking.”

Natasha chuckles, letting go of your arm slowly. “I noticed.” Her voice is low. Playful. But there’s something…careful in her eyes. “What are you still doing here? I thought today was…kind of a big deal?”

You give her a sheepish look. “I had a couple things to finish up. Patients don’t stop needing care just because I’m getting married in a few hours.”

Natasha nods once, smiling, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Right. Of course.”

There’s a beat. Something unsaid is heavy in the space between you. Natasha shifts, then clears her throat, trying not to look as nervous as she feels. “Hey. That night. At Joe’s…” You look up sharply.

Natasha tries to keep it casual. “Do you… remember it?”

There’s a flash of something in your eyes. Surprise. Maybe something more. But you recover quickly, smiling, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “No..” you shrug. “I don’t know. I was pretty tipsy. You know how Joe’s gets. Loud. Blurry.”

You say it lightly. Natasha blinks once. Nods slowly. “Right.” She smiles. “Blurry.”

Her voice is quieter now. But steady. “Well…I should go. I’ve got charts to finish and, you know. A suit to iron.”

You laugh. “Oh..suit?”

Natasha shrugs with a smirk. “I’m full of surprises.” Then, just as she’s about to turn. A loud chorus echoes from down the hall. “Y/n!”

Your family. Your mom, arms wide. A younger cousin carrying a bouquet. A sibling with a camera already filming. They descend like a joyful storm, ushering you away, laughing and pulling you by the hand. Your smile blossoms instantly, all light and love. But right before you’re swept away completely, you glance back. And Natasha is still standing there, watching. Smiling. Still. But her eyes are dimmer now. Just a little. You lift a hand in a small wave, mouthing: “See you there.” Natasha lifts her fingers in a wave, too. Then she turns.

The golden light from the wide windows filters in like honey, soft and warm against the white walls and the lace-trimmed veil draped over the vanity chair. The hum of string music floats faintly from the garden outside. Everything is quiet. Perfect. You stand in front of the mirror in your wedding dress. You’re breathtaking. Hair pinned just right. Lips glossed in a soft pink. The gown fits like it was made for you,elegant, timeless, radiant. But your fingers fidget at the edge of the lace bodice. You exhale, shallow and slow, eyes meeting your own reflection like you’re trying to steady yourself.

Then, the door creaks open. Your intern, Jules, pokes her head in. Dressed to the nines in a simple plum bridesmaid gown, her hair curled, her grin wide. “Is the bride taking visitors? Or are we preserving the mystique?”

You turn, grinning. “Come in, before I sweat through this dress.” Jules walks in, stops just a few feet away, and lets her eyes sweep up and down, clearly stunned. “Holy crap…You look like the main character in every love story I’ve ever watched at 3 a.m. while crying into ice cream.”

You laugh, the kind that wrinkles your nose. “Wow. That good?”

“Better.” She steps closer, adjusting a tiny piece of veil near your shoulder.

“You happy?” You nod slowly. “Yeah. I really am.”

Your voice is soft, certain, but there’s a slight tightness in it. “Good. You deserve happy. Especially after…you know. Everything.”

A silence hangs between you for a moment, not heavy, but not light either. Then Jules smiles again, trying to lift the mood. “Honestly? If you’d told me months ago that I’d be here watching you marry Addison Montgomery, I would’ve lost a bet.”

You raise an amused brow. “What, you didn’t think we’d make it?”

“No, I just…” She hesitates, then shrugs, “I kinda thought you were gonna end up with Romanoff.” The words land like a soft, slow punch. Your breath catches. “What?”

“Oh. sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. It just…I don’t know. Back then, after the shooting, it was like she only existed when you were in the room. The way she looked at you? It wasn’t subtle. None of us thought it was just professional.”

You turn back to the mirror slowly, your eyes distant. “She never said anything.”

“She didn’t have to.”

Your fingers still against the edge of the vanity. Your heart thuds once, too hard. “What exactly… do you mean?”

Jules shifts, suddenly realizing this might be more than casual talk. “I mean… I guess no one ever told you?”

You turn to face her, serious now. “Told me what?”

Jules opens her mouth. Then sighs. “Okay. Don’t freak out, but.. when you were in the OR, after the shooting, your heart stopped. Maria unclamped the cable to fake a flatline when the shooter came in. The machine went quiet on purpose.”

Your face drains of color. “And Natasha…she lost it. She refused to stop. Even with a gun pointed at her. She kept fighting for you. Said she could still feel your heart fluttering. She was shaking. Crying. But she wouldn’t let you go.”

You stumble backward, gripping the back of the chair. You sit, hard. Your vision blurs, like you’re trying to remember something you never got to witness. “They said she only let go when Maria begged her to, for everyone’s safety. She looked like she broke right there. After that…she was different. Didn’t sleep. Didn’t talk to anyone. She didn’t step into an OR for almost a month.”

You stare at the floor. Your mind races, back to Joe’s. That drunken kiss. The way Natasha looked at you. How she said, “I wish I was her…” and meant it.

All this time. You’d thought it was just a drunken mistake. A blip. But it wasn’t, was it? It was grief. Jules swallows, realizing her mistake. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. You don’t need this today, I just-”

You look up suddenly, and your smile is back. But it’s different now. “It’s okay. Really.”

“I love Addison. I’m marrying Addison.” You exhale. “Whatever that was with Natasha… it’s in the past.”

Your voice is strong. Steady. And your hands are shaking in your lap. “Right. Yeah. Of course.”

Jules leans down, squeezes your shoulder gently. “I’ll give you a minute.”

You nod. The door shuts. And you’re alone with the reflection again. Your fingers brush the scar on your chest, just visible in the low dip of the neckline. A line Natasha once held in her hands. You close your eyes. And for a second… you let yourself wonder: What if? But then you stand. Straighten your veil. And walk toward your own happy ending. Even if it’s not the one you expected.

The soft hush of music filled the air, delicate piano echoing beneath the vaulted ceiling of the garden hall. White flowers lined every aisle. Rows of guests, hushed and smiling, turned their heads in unison. You stepped into view.

Your gown shimmered in the afternoon light, every stitch tailored with care. You held a small bouquet of white lilacs and peonies, Addison’s favorite. Your father’s arm was steady at your side. Your eyes, uncertain, but brave, locked ahead, on the woman waiting for you at the altar. Addison stood poised, radiant in an ivory suit, the softest smile blooming across her face. Love, unmistakable and unfiltered, shone in her eyes as she watched you take each step closer.

In the second row, dressed in slate-gray, Natasha Romanoff sat still. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, fingers pale where they pressed into each other. A fine sheen of sweat coated her brow, though the room was cool. She didn’t blink. Barely breathed. She’d rehearsed this, told herself a hundred times she could do it.

But as the pastor began to speak, each word was like glass beneath her ribs. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” You reached Addison, gently taking her hands. Your fingers laced together, familiar and warm. You exchanged a quick look, loving, easy. Your lips twitched into a nervous smile.

Natasha didn’t blink. Beside her, Sophia leaned in slightly. “You okay?” she whispered. Natasha didn’t answer. Just nodded. The pastor continued. “If any person here knows of any lawful impediment as to why these two should not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Natasha’s throat tightened. Her pulse roared in her ears. She looked around. No one moved. Not a breath stirred. Her own legs tensed. She turned to Sophia, barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

Then she stood. A quiet murmur rippled through the guests. Addison’s expression didn’t shift, but her grip on your hand tightened. Natasha looked like she hadn’t meant to stand. Her hand hovered uselessly by her side. Her chest rose and fell in shallow gasps. And then, as if gravity caught up, she started to sit again- But stopped.

Instead, her voice, shaky, but clear, cut through the stunned silence. “I can’t.

Every head turned. Your eyes widened. Addison’s jaw tightened. “I’m sorry.” Natasha said, her voice rising now, firmer.

“I didn’t mean to, I didn’t plan to ruin this, I swear. I was gonna let you go. I wanted to. I told myself that was the right thing.” Her eyes found yours. Just yours.

“But I can’t sit here and watch you promise your whole life to someone else…without saying this.”

She stepped into the aisle now. The guests parted like waves. “I didn’t show up when I should have. Not after the shooting. Not after. I stayed away because I thought I’d break you even more.”

Her voice cracked. “But the truth is…I broke myself.”

Natasha swallowed hard, shaking her head. “That day, when I brought you to the OR, I wasn’t thinking about duty or protocol or even survival. I was thinking about your laugh. Your sarcasm. The stupid way you always corrected some post-op notes with a pink pen.”

A soft, stunned laugh rippled somewhere in the crowd. Natasha didn’t blink. “When your heart stopped, I didn’t let go. I held it in my hands. I begged it to come back. Even when- I just couldn’t.”

She looked down. Her voice softer now. “Because it wasn’t just your life I was trying to save.”

She looked up again. Straight into you. “It was mine too.”

The room held its breath. You stood frozen at the altar. Pale. Silent. Addison’s grip on your hand had loosened. Natasha took one more shaky step forward.

“You asked me that night at Joe’s…what I meant.” She exhaled, brokenly. “I meant that I’ve been in love with you since the first time you rolled your eyes at me in the trauma bay. Since the first coffee. Since the night we lost ourselves and pretended it meant nothing.”

She smiled, a tired, tear-bright smile. “But it meant everything to me.”

And then Natasha whispered, “I love you.”

Dead silence. The words hung in the air like smoke. And then, softly, apologetically, Natasha stepped back.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered. “You don’t have to do anything. You don’t even have to say anything. I just…couldn’t let today pass without you knowing.”And with that, she turned to walk away. The room didn’t move. Neither did you.

The silence was crushing. The kind of silence that bent time. You stood frozen at the altar. Addison’s hand had just fallen from yours. The bouquet was on the floor behind you. Your chest rose and fell too quickly. You could still feel the echo of Natasha’s voice, raw and real and shattering, and now the room was full of stares, but you couldn’t see any of them.

Your eyes were locked on the door Natasha had disappeared through. And then you looked at Addison. Her face was unreadable. But her eyes- They weren’t angry. They were knowing.

You opened your mouth. Closed it. Swallowed hard. “I’m sorry..” you said.

Addison blinked. “Y/n…”

“I’m so-” Your voice cracked. “I didn’t know. I swear, I didn’t know.”

Addison took a shaky breath and smiled. It was sad. But not bitter. “Go.”

Your chest clenched. “I didn’t mean-”

“I know.” Addison whispered. “But she’s out there.” That was all it took. You turned and ran.

[ivyasproperty]

Redline. (Bonus 4) | N.R

Older!Motorsportboss!Natasha × Younger!Racing!Driver!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N= 32, r=23), 18+! MINORS DNI! Restraints (handcuffs), strap on use, blowjob, oral (n receiving), strap riding

Word count: 3,8k

A/N: That was fun..

You were sitting in a team meeting, eyes blankly fixed on the screen where telemetry charts blinked in rhythmic flashes. Data, stats, numbers, normally you were locked into them. But today, the entire thing washed over you like white noise.

Because you weren’t thinking about tire degradation. Or fuel windows. Or even the race coming up. You were thinking about Natasha. It was just a flash in your mind, but it made your stomach twist with heat and giddiness.

Across the table, Natasha’s brows lifted. “Something funny, detka?”

You flinched like a kid caught daydreaming in class. “N-Nope. Just-uh. Sector times.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed playfully. She knew. Not what you were thinking, but that it wasn’t sector times. Your face flushed. You gave a quick nod, muttered something about needing water, and bolted out of the meeting room, heart pounding.

You took a breath and let it out slowly, willing your skin to cool down. But the image..Natasha beneath you, panting..refused to leave. Then, just ahead near the security booth, you spotted a man you barely knew by name, fiddling with a pair of standard-issue handcuffs.

You slowed, watching him casually twist them around his fingers. Something inside you clicked. Perfect.

With a growing smirk, you approached. “Hi!” you called gently.

The guard nearly dropped the cuffs. “Oh! Uh- Ms. L/n, h-hello!”

You grinned, holding back a laugh at how pink he turned. “No need to panic. I just…saw the cuffs.” You motioned to his hands. “Think I could borrow them for a few days?”

He blinked. “The…The cuffs?”

“Yes..” you nodded, completely casual, though your heart was racing. “Not for, like, arresting people. Just…practice.” You offered a crooked smile that probably didn’t help.

He stared for a beat, then nodded so hard it nearly shook his cap off. “Y-Yeah! Of course! You can totally- uh, here.” He offered them with both hands like you were royalty.

You took them carefully, feeling the cold weight of them in your palms.

“Thanks, really.” you said.

“I know you’re probably busy…but…my kids are a huge fan! C-Could we make a photo?”

“Of course! You gave me your cuffs. Least I can do.” He fumbled his phone out so fast he nearly dropped it, and you leaned in with a bright smile, snapping a quick photo before giving him a quick wave and strolling off, handcuffs tucked in your hoodie pocket, heart pounding.

Now, your room became a workshop. The cuffs lay on the table beside your laptop as you queued up video after video, escape artists, magicians, tactical demos. All of them showing quick, fluid techniques. One-handed flips, snap-click-lock or misdirection.

You practiced until your wrist ached. Pick up from the left. Fake a caress. Flip. Click. Pick up from behind. Loop the wrist. Snap it shut in one smooth motion.

You dropped them at least twenty times. Cursed under your breath just as often. But the vision..Natasha, hands locked above her head, blinking in surprise as you stepped back with a devilish smile, kept you going.

You rehearsed your lines in the mirror, cheeks warm with nerves. Sometimes you had to stop, burying your face in your hands and giggling like a teenager. But each night, you got faster. Smoother. Until you could click both cuffs shut in under three seconds. It had to be fast.. Because Natasha didn’t surrender easily.

Days later, the door slammed shut behind you, laughter and adrenaline still buzzing between kisses. You didn’t even remember how you’d made it from the car to the apartment, just that Natasha’s lips hadn’t left yours once.

Natasha was already pressing your back toward the bed, her hands firm on your waist, guiding you like she always did, in control, composed, knowing exactly where this was going.

But tonight, you had other plans..You crashed onto the mattress in a tangle, mouths locked, breath sharp, bodies already buzzing from the familiar fire between you. Natasha’s hand was sliding under your shirt, her thigh nudging between your legs, her rhythm confident, possessive.

Just like always.

You kissed her harder, then shifted. A quick twist. A practiced motion. Natasha landed with a soft grunt on her back. You moved fast, crawling over her, straddling her hips as your fingers dipped behind the pillow, feeling the cool bite of metal.

Natasha didn’t even blink, her hands tugging at your shirt now, eyes hooded. “Mmm, taking charge tonight?” she teased, voice dark velvet.

“Something like that..” you murmured, leaning down to kiss her again, slow this time, deep and purposeful. And as she reached up to cup your jaw..click.

You pulled back. One of Natasha’s wrists was now bound to the bedframe. There was a second of stunned silence. Natasha blinked. Looked up. A flash of confusion, a flicker of surprise, then amusement blooming like wildfire across her face.

You sat back on your thighs, grinning ear to ear, eyes sparkling like a kid who just pulled off the prank of the century.

“Oh my God..” you whispered, practically vibrating. “It actually worked!!”

Natasha laughed softly, raising a brow. “You planned this?”

You nodded, still catching your breath. “For days. Like..full-blown practicing. On myself. On a chair. I made your security guy give me the cuffs.”

“Wait- Mark gave you his cuffs?”

“He was so flustered he didn’t even ask why..” you laughed. “I gave him a selfie to say thanks.”

Natasha just shook her head in disbelief, still half-laughing. Her free hand was resting on your thigh now, her touch light but warm. “You little thief.”

For a moment, Natasha simply stared at you. And then, she raised her free hand and snapped her fingers.

“Key.”

You reached into your pocket, took the small key between your fingers, and flicked it, sailing it across the room, where it landed somewhere.

Natasha’s brow shot up. “…You didn’t.”

“I did.”

Natasha laughed, a low, dangerous, almost impressed sound. “You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that..”

She gave the cuff another pull, testing it. Realizing it wasn’t going to budge. Her muscles flexed under you, strong and coiled, and her eyes locked on yours, sharp and unreadable. “You sure you know what you’re doing? You think you can handle me like this?”

You leaned in, lips brushing her ear as you whispered, “I don’t think I can. I know I will.”

Natasha exhaled through her nose, eyes dark with challenge now. “You better make it worth it, sweetheart. Because when I get out of these…” Her free hand trailed slowly down your thigh, grip firm. “You’ll be begging.”

You grinned, hips shifting just right as you settled in. “Guess.. I better make you beg first.”

Natasha leaned back into the pillow, watching you with a predator’s patience. One wrist still cuffed to the bed, the other resting lazily on her stomach like this was just another game she’d already won. But her eyes… they tracked every movement, sharp and focused.

Your hands moved slowly, purposefully, as you started to peel away Natasha’s clothes. Every inch of exposed skin earned you a lingering look, that trademark Romanoff smirk never fading.

“Careful, malysh (baby),” Natasha drawled, voice low and thick with heat. “You undress me like that, and I might think you’re trying to seduce me.”

You just smiled, sweet, smug, and pushed Natasha’s pants down past her hips.

And paused.

Your eyes widened for just a second, a breath catching in your throat as you realized what Natasha was already wearing beneath.

A harness. Strap in place., ready and waiting. “Wha-” you blinked, somewhere between stunned and amused. “You were…you had this on?”

Natasha chuckled, low and dangerous. “You’re not the only one who had plans tonight.”

You looked up, eyes glinting. Natasha tilted her head, smirking like a cat who’d let the mouse think it had a chance. “You want it?” she teased, flexing her hips slightly. “Unlock me. And maybe I’ll let you ride it properly.”

But you didn’t move for the cuffs. Instead, you shifted, lowering yourself between Natasha’s thighs, your mouth now dangerously close to the toy. Your fingers slid over the harness, gaze locked onto hers.

“I’ll use it just fine, thank you..” you murmured and then you wrapped your lips around the tip.

Natasha’s smirk faltered. Her mouth parted, eyes going a little wider as she watched you suck slowly, deliberately, dragging your tongue along the underside like you meant to break her. Her free hand clenched the sheets.

“God..” Natasha breathed, hips shifting instinctively.

You glanced up at her, teasing, and went deeper, taking more of the strap into your mouth, slow, wet sounds filling the room. You hollowed your cheeks, working it like you were showing off, like you knew exactly how much it was affecting her.

And Natasha was affected. Badly. She tugged on the cuff again, harder this time. The chain clinked against the bedframe. “You-” she gasped, a small laugh breaking through her curse. “You little brat…”

You pulled back just enough to speak, your voice smug and sweet against the toy. “Still think I can’t handle it?”

Natasha swallowed hard, chest rising and falling with growing tension. “You’re so in trouble when I get out of these..”

You just grinned, lips brushing the base of the strap as you whispered, “Then maybe I’ll keep you there a while longer.”

And without another word, you took the whole thing in, deep, slow, confident, watching Natasha struggle. She was staring down at you, breathing heavier now, eyes slightly glazed, like she couldn’t decide whether to smirk or moan.

“You look so cute like this..” you murmured, voice low. Your fingers trailed slowly over Natasha’s hips as you moved down again,

Natasha’s free hand curled into the sheets. “You’re proud of yourself, huh?” she rasped, voice rough with tension.

You didn’t answer. You just settled between her thighs, nudging them wider. Your hands slid up, palms smooth against soft skin, and then..Your tongue met her core.

The reaction was instant. Natasha tensed, hips twitching off the bed, a soft gasp escaping before she could stop it. She grit her teeth, chest rising sharply, her arm pulling against the cuff again.

You smiled into her. You started slow, using your tongue with purpose, teasing circles and flicks that made her thighs tremble.

Natasha exhaled harshly through her nose, trying to stay quiet, trying to keep her body still. She bit her bottom lip, eyes locked on the ceiling, muscles taut like a wire about to snap.

But then..You found that spot. You pressed your tongue there, slow and firm, then sucked, just once, deep and focused.

Natasha bucked. “F-Fuck—!” The curse burst from her mouth, sharp and unfiltered. Her head snapped back, eyes fluttering shut as her body jerked. She yanked hard against the cuff, her free hand flying to the headboard like she could tear the whole damn thing apart.

You moaned softly at the reaction, proud and fueled by it. You pulled back just enough to whisper, breath hot against her core, “You love this.”

Natasha panted, teeth clenched. “Y/n, Fuck you.”

You laughed, low and dangerous. “Maybe later..”

And then you dove back in, tongue working faster, deeper, mouth devouring her like you wanted to leave her breathless and wrecked. Every twitch, every shaky breath, every curse spilling from her lips only pushed you further.

She tried to hold back, tried to keep the illusion of control, but it was slipping.. You could feel the tension coiling beneath her skin like a live wire. Her thighs trembled with every flick of your tongue, and her breath came in ragged bursts, sharp, guttural, completely unguarded.

But she still hadn’t said the word. Not the one you wanted to hear. You smirked against her, dragging your tongue in slow, lazy strokes, circling her clit without pressure, just enough to make her need it, not enough to let her fall. You flattened your tongue and licked her again, then pulled away entirely, letting your breath ghost over her skin.

She cursed under her breath, hips jerking up, chasing the contact. “Oh? That close already?” you purred, kissing her inner thigh. “And you haven’t even told me what you want..”

You looked up through your lashes. Natasha’s eyes were dark, lips parted, chest rising and falling fast. She was beautiful. Ruined. Desperate. But still clinging to her pride.

“Hah…” she exhaled through her teeth, free hand gripping the sheets hard. “You think this is new to me, baby? You think I haven’t been edged before?”

You laughed softly. “Yeah, but not by me..Common Nat..”

Then you leaned back in and sucked her clit, deep and wet, just for a second. Natasha cried out, still not a single word, not a plea, just a raw, broken sound. Her hips bucked hard, her body chasing every inch of pressure like it was the only thing grounding her.

You pulled back again. “You gonna ask for it?” you whispered, licking your lips.

Natasha shook her head, breathing hard. “No fucking way.”

You raised a brow. “You sound like you’re about to lose your mind.”

“Y/n.” she hissed.

You kissed the inside of her thigh again, dragged your nails lightly down her skin, then dipped your head once more, letting your tongue work with new intensity, hard, fast, deep.

And she lost it. She rolled her hips, chasing every flick of your tongue. Her head slammed back against the pillow, one arm still restrained, the other clenched in the sheets so tight it might rip them apart.

Still..no begging. Just gasps, groans and curses. You pressed your tongue flat again, relentless, never breaking rhythm. You knew she was there, right there, teetering, and you didn’t plan to let her fall until she was exactly where you wanted her.

“You’re shaking..” you whispered, licking slowly up again. “Please Natasha..let me hear it..”

Natasha grit her teeth, eyes fluttering shut. “I swear t-to god…”

You smiled. “Still not?”

Her only answer was a strangled moan that sounded almost like a yes. And you accepted it.. So you went all in, tongue deep, rhythm perfect, sucking and circling and dragging her right into release.

She screamed..a raw, guttural sound, hips jerking, body writhing, orgasm ripping through her. Her hand pulled at the cuff like she could tear the bed apart, thighs clamped around your head as wave after wave hit her.

Still, no: “please.” Just wild, shattered moans. You didn’t stop until she collapsed, chest heaving, eyes blown wide with aftershock.

Then you crawled up her body, kissed the corner of her mouth, and whispered, “That was better than begging.”

Natasha lay there chest rising and falling, one arm bound, the other limp on the sheets, knuckles white from how hard she’d gripped them. A slow smirk crept across her face, heavy-lidded eyes meeting yours as you leaned up slightly.

“Huh..” she breathed, voice rough and low, “you really went for it..I can’t believe it..” She whispered while brushing a bit of sweat from her forehead.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, flushed and proud, crawling back up her body.

“You did good..” Natasha added, a cocky gleam in her eye despite how wrecked she looked. “I’ll give you that.”

You smiled sweetly…Too sweet. “Thanks.” you said simply, brushing a kiss to her cheek.

Natasha let her eyes fall shut for a moment, until she felt movement. Her eyes fluttered open again…and froze.

You were straddling her again. But this time? You weren’t going down to tease. You were going up.

Natasha’s breath caught as you positioned yourself over the strap still strapped to her hips, slick, already aching. Your hands rested on her stomach for balance, your expression calm…but your eyes burned with intent.

“Wait-” Natasha said, a slow smirk forming. “You’re not-”

You didn’t answer. You just started to lower yourself. Natasha’s pupils snapped wide.

“Y/n-” she grunted, jerking at the cuff instinctively, the chain clanging against the headboard with a force that made your head snap around.

You blinked. That was a strong pull. For a second, your eyes flicked up toward the frame, half-worried the metal might actually snap.

Natasha noticed. Her smirk turned lethal. “Oh?” she purred, voice dripping with danger. “You’re nervous now?”

You looked back at her slowly, a little breathless…but still smiling. “N-No.”

You lowered yourself further. The strap pushed inside you, slick and easy, but thick enough to make you gasp. Your fingers tightened on Natasha’s stomach.

Her jaw tensed, her arm flexing again. You exhaled slowly, rolling your hips downward inch by inch. You took it all the way in.

Seated flush against her. And Natasha groaned loud, helpless, her head falling back against the pillow as her hips instinctively tried to thrust, but had nowhere to go. All she could do was feel it.

“Jesus..” she choked out. “You’re- fuck, you’re soaked..”

You ground your hips in a slow circle, the pressure hitting just right. “I wonder why..”

You straightened again, hands sliding up your own body, down your thighs as you began to ride harder, deeper..slow, grinding, working yourself against the strap like you owned it. Like you owned her.

Natasha cursed under her breath, head tossing against the pillow. Her hips tried to follow, to thrust up, but with one hand chained and you in complete control, she couldn’t do anything but take it.

“Y/n..” she gasped. “You’re gonna make- feel so—!”

Another roll of your hips cut her off. Another deep, wet sound as you slid back down. Natasha’s eyes snapped shut, her chest arching, jaw clenched so hard it looked like it hurt. “I can’t-” she hissed.

You slowed again, pulling back until only the tip remained inside you, teasing the edge. Natasha whimpered..whimpered! And it wasn’t even intentional. You leaned down, your breath brushing over her mouth. “Can’t what, Natty?”

Her eyes fluttered open, dark, desperate, wrecked. She didn’t say the word..She couldn’t. But her eyes were begging. And you saw it.

You kissed her hard, biting, dominant, then sat back up, thighs trembling now from the slow burn as you dropped back down onto the strap, deep and hard, a slick sound filling the space between your bodies.

Natasha moaned, long, loud, involuntary. Her hand pulled at the cuff again, the chain rattling violently. “Y/n! G-God!!” Her voice was wrecked now, breathless, right on the edge. “You’re gonna- drive me fucking insane..”

You grinned, riding with perfect rhythm now, grinding deep against her, back arching as you let yourself chase the high. “That’s the plan.”

And Natasha? Helpless. Breathless. Drenched. Her mind slipping between pleasure and surrender, just barely holding onto that last thread of control.

She was breaking. Every inch of her body was flushed, trembling beneath you, breath ragged, voice reduced to raw, gasping moans. Her cuffed hand was bruised from how hard she’d pulled, and the other, finally reached up, grabbing at your waist, your side, anything she could touch.

“I need to-” Natasha groaned, fingers digging in. “Let me- fuck, I need—”

Your eyes widened slightly at the strength in her grip. Even in this state, she could flip you if she wanted.

But not this time. You grabbed her wrist with both hands, firm, focused, and pushed it back down to the bed.

“No touching..” you whispered, voice trembling with lust. “You don’t get to take tonight, Nat..”

Natasha let out a frustrated, wild noise, somewhere between a growl and a moan. “You’re.. gonna kill me..”

You leaned down, panting into her ear, hips slamming down hard onto the strap. You locked eyes with her, hands pinning her down, both arms restrained, one by cold metal, the other by your strength and sheer desire.

And then..You rode her. No more teasing. No more games. Just fast, filthy, relentless rhythm. Wetness coating everything. The sound of skin on skin filling the room. Your hips slammed down again and again, the strap hitting deep, you grinding hard against it with every bounce, every drop.

Natasha was gone. Her head tossed, mouth wide open, moans choked and broken. Her thighs flexed, her whole body trembling, helpless beneath you.

“Y/n- fuck- I’m..!” And she came.

Harder than before..louder, rawer, her voice breaking on your name. Her hips jolted, back arching off the bed, trembling uncontrollably.

And still..you didn’t stop. You chased your own release, using her body as your anchor. You moaned, breath hitching, the sight of her flushed and ruined pushing you over.

“Fuck..” you gasped, thighs shaking. “I’m gonna..Natasha—oh my G-God!”

You came with a cry, slamming down one last time, your body locking up as the orgasm ripped through you. Your nails dug into her wrists, your whole body trembling as you collapsed forward, grinding softly through the aftershocks.

And when you finally pulled away, the angle shifted. And the tip dragged just right against her again.

“Y-Y/n!” she gasped, body jolting. Her head dropped back, eyes squeezing shut as a choked moan escaped her throat.

You froze, wide-eyed. “s-sorry, I didn’t-”

Natasha let out a breathless laugh, arm flopping over her face. “Careful…” she groaned, voice shaking.

You bit your lip, trying not to smile. “Didn’t think that would still hit…”

Natasha peeked at you from under her arm, eyes glassy, lips parted, utterly wrecked. “It hit.”

You chuckled, spotted the key in the corner of the room, and carefully climbed off her. Your hands were still shaking as you picked it up.

When you turned back, Natasha was watching you. Flat on her back, one arm still cuffed, eyes half-lidded but focused now. That smirk from earlier? Gone. Replaced by something unreadable.

You chewed your bottom lip, key tight in your fingers. “You have to promise..” you said softly.

Natasha tilted her head. “Promise what?”

“That you won’t…” you hesitated, glancing at her body, then back up. “Flip this. Take over. The moment I let you go.”

She raised a brow, eyes gleaming. She said nothing. You narrowed your eyes. “Nat.”

Still nothing. Just that faint smile growing. You stepped back. “I’m not unlocking you.”

That earned a low laugh. “You’re bluffing..”

You didn’t move. And this time…she realized you weren’t. She let out a slow breath. “Fine.”

You waited. “I promise.” she said finally, voice low and warm. “I won’t do anything…without your permission.”

You searched her eyes for a long second. Then, slowly, you moved forward. You climbed onto the bed, into her space, and carefully slid the key into the lock.

With a soft click, the cuff popped open. A second passed. Maybe two- She moved like lightning. Flipping you beneath her in one fluid motion, your wrists immediately caught and pinned above your head.

You gasped, eyes wide. “Y-You promised!”

Natasha leaned down, nose brushing yours, eyes dark with heat.

“I did.” she whispered. “And I’m keeping it.” She didn’t move further. Didn’t dominate. Just held you there. Breathing the same air.

You blinked up at her, stunned. And then she kissed you. When she pulled back, her voice was barely a murmur. “Thank you for tonight.”

You swallowed. “You’re not mad?”

Natasha smiled, brushing her nose against yours. “Are you kidding? I’ve never been more turned on.”

Her grip softened. Her forehead rested gently against yours.

“But next time…” she whispered, lips brushing your ear, “You better run after you unlock me.”

You laughed, heart pounding. “Deal.”

-

-

-

-

[ivyasproperty]

Code red. pt 3 | N.R

older!Surgeon!Natasha × Younger!Intern!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N=35, R=24) hospital atmosphere, shooting, gun, blood, trauma, stress situation, death

word count: 7,4k

A/n: 🎢🎢🎢🎢

The hospital was humming with the usual afternoon buzz. Overhead lights flickered with a sterile glow, casting long, pale shadows across the linoleum floors. Nurses moved with purpose. Pagers beeped. Phones rang. But to you, it all faded into a low hum as you leaned against the front desk, scribbling notes into a patient’s chart.

“Are you seriously still working?” one of the other interns joked, slinging off their white coat as they passed.

“Some of us aren’t here just to flirt in the supply closet..” you muttered without looking up. The intern laughed, saluted you lazily, and disappeared around the corner. Silence settled in their wake, momentary and oddly comforting.

You flipped to the next page in the chart, pen tapping thoughtfully against your chin. Your brows furrowed in concentration. Then, heels. Sharp, unapologetic, and familiar.

Natasha appeared at your side with the casual grace of someone who knew the entire hallway was watching her. “Well, don’t you look focused.” Natasha purred, a smirk already tugging at her lips. “Is it the chart, or are you just avoiding me again?”

You didn’t even glance up. “I’m working, Dr. Romanoff.”

“Ohh, the title now.” Natasha chuckled, leaning casually on the desk beside you. “I like when you call me that. Do it again.”

You finally turned to her, unimpressed. “Don’t you have an OR to seduce?”

Natasha’s grin widened. “Jealousy’s not a good look on you.”

Before you could throw back a reply, chaos struck. A sharp, high-pitched scream cut through the corridor, followed by the sickening crack of a gunshot. Everyone froze. The sound echoed, bouncing off the sterile walls, too loud, too real.

A nurse’s tray clattered to the floor. Then another shot. Your heart seized. Your eyes locked on the source of the noise, a man at the opposite end of the hallway, arm extended, a pistol still smoking in his hand. The nurse in front of him dropped like a marionette with her strings cut, blood pooling beneath her almost instantly.

“Run!” Natasha’s voice snapped in, sharp, low, protective. She grabbed you without waiting, her arm wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you close, shielding you as bodies started running, screaming, crashing into each other in blind panic. People shoved past you. Someone was crying. A wheelchair overturned. A monitor crashed from a cart.

Natasha’s hand cradled the back of your head, forcing your face into her chest as you moved quickly through the chaos.

“Don’t look. Keep moving.” Natasha murmured. You ducked into an exam room, the door clicking shut behind you. Natasha turned, bolted it with a trembling hand, then turned to you.

“Are you okay? Are you-” Then she saw it. You blinked up at her, confused, swaying slightly. “What…?”

Blood. Bright and dark, blooming fast across your scrub top. Spreading in thick, ugly circles right below your collarbone, above the ribs. A gunshot, clean, but close. You reached up with fingers that felt suddenly heavy and numb. Touched the blood. Pulled your hand back and saw red.

Your mouth opened, but nothing came out. You didn’t need to ask.. No exit wound. Your brain supplied the rest, fast, clinical, single gunshot wound, anterior thorax, upper left quadrant. No exit. Bullet is inside. Close to the heart. Could be the lung. Could be the subclavian. Bleeding is internal and external. Fatal unless treated within minutes.

You looked up at Natasha again. “It’s…not superficial.”

“No.” Natasha said softly.

Your legs folded under you, and you sank to the floor against the wall, your breath turning shallow. Natasha dropped with you, already pulling up your shirt. Her hands didn’t shake. Not even slightly. But her jaw was clenched so tight her teeth ached.

“I need to see.” Natasha murmured, mostly to herself. You winced as your shirt was pushed aside and the cold air hit the wet warmth of the wound. The blood was darker now, thicker, pulsing slower, but still flowing. A hole, the size of a fingertip, right above the fourth rib.

Natasha pressed her hand over it without hesitation. You let out a choked cry, your back arching off the wall.

“I know..” Natasha said quietly, leaning in. “I’m sorry. I have to.”

Your eyes filled with tears you didn’t mean to let fall. “I feel it..”

“That’s good. That means you’re still with me.”

The blood surged under Natasha’s palm again, slippery, thick, warm enough to feel like fire. It soaked through her hand and ran in trails down her wrist. Each pulse beneath her fingers felt weaker than the last. She didn’t look up. She couldn’t. You were watching her. Reading her.

“Don’t do the voice..” you whispered. “Don’t do the calm voice. I know what that means.”

Natasha said nothing. Her hand stayed steady, pressure perfect. She reached with the other for gauze and shoved it under the pressure point, fingers slick and sure. She didn’t hesitate. She didn’t tremble.

But inside, she was screaming. Too high for lung access, too low for clavicle, subclavian artery? Maybe? Internal bleeding. No exit. God- “You’re bleeding fast.” she murmured. Not a lie. Just…a fact.

You swallowed. “Am I gonna pass out?”

“No.” Natasha lied. “You’re going to breathe with me.”

“I know how this works, Natasha.” You whispered. “It’s going to fill my chest. I’ll drown in my own blood-”

“No, you’re not.”

“I’m scared..” you said, and it came out small.

Natasha leaned closer. “Then let me be scared for both of us, okay?”

You nodded, teeth chattering now. You were turning pale. Your lips looked faintly blue at the edges. Natasha pressed harder. And that’s when she felt it. The flutter. Not a heartbeat, something else. A vibration in the wound. A tremor from the heart that didn’t feel strong. Didn’t feel right. Like a failing engine in the dark.

Panic surged. But her hands stayed steady. Then, footsteps. Right outside the door. You tensed, whimpering softly and Natasha shifted fast, one hand never leaving the wound, the other rising to gently cover your mouth. Her eyes didn’t leave the door.

The shooter’s shadow paused beneath the crack of light. You made a sound against her palm, weak, scared. Natasha lowered her forehead to yours, not looking away from the door. “Shhh. You’re okay. You’re okay.”

Her voice didn’t shake. Not even when she felt your blood tickle between her fingers. Not even when it started to cool. She felt your pulse, what little was left of it, under her palm. Please. Walk away. I can’t keep her alive if you don’t walk away.

The footsteps lingered. Natasha pressed harder. You squirmed under the pain but didn’t cry out. Your eyes rolled slightly. And then, finally…footsteps retreated. The moment they were gone, Natasha’s mask slipped. She let out a ragged breath she’d been holding far too long. Blood still ran down her forearms, soaking into her sleeves, dripping onto her pants.

She looked down at you. Your face was slack now. Your eyelids heavy. “No, no. Hey!” Natasha shifted. “You’re staying awake, do you hear me?”

“I’m tired..” you mumbled. Your voice was barely there.

“I know. But you don’t get to sleep yet. You sleep, and you don’t wake up. I know how this works too.”

Your eyes were half-lidded now, your head slumped against the wall. Natasha didn’t have the luxury of time, she felt it, the way the blood was slowing, thickening, but still leaking. The room smelled metallic and wet. Her forearms were streaked in red to the elbows. Think. Do something!

She glanced up at the shelf above the sink, hands never leaving the wound. There, a metal supply bin. Packed with gauze, tape, something, anything.

With one hand still pressed firmly against your chest, she reached up and yanked it down, nearly knocking it off the shelf. The contents spilled across the counter. She grabbed the biggest wad of gauze she could find and shoved it into the wound.

You screamed through your teeth, your back arching. Your body jolted like you’d been shocked. “Hold it.” Natasha snapped. Her voice wasn’t calm anymore. It was sharp. Commanding. Edged with barely hidden panic.

She grabbed your trembling hand and placed it firmly over the gauze, reinforcing the pressure. “I need you to keep this pressed down. No matter what. I’m going to check the hallway, make sure it’s clear so we can move. You let go, and you will bleed out. Do you understand me?”

You nodded weakly, your hand shaking, but you pressed down. Blood welled up around your fingers immediately. Natasha crouched, wiped her own hands on the inside of her coat, and crept to the door. She cracked it open just enough to scan the corridor.

The bodies had moved, or been moved. Blood smeared the floor. Someone’s pager beeped faintly in the distance. A monitor was flatlining somewhere, forgotten. She turned back. You were still upright. Barely. She slid her arms under your legs and shoulders, and lifted. She didn’t ask if you could walk, she already knew the answer.

The second you left the floor, more blood spilled from the soaked gauze, dripped down Natasha’s arm, splattered on the tile behind you. You groaned into her chest. “N-Nat…”

“I’ve got you.” Natasha whispered, tightening her grip. “Just hold on.”

She moved down the hallway like a woman possessed. Every footstep echoed. Her boots splashed through crimson puddles.

She turned the corner sharply and shouldered open a door labeled Trauma Room C. The overhead light was already on. Someone was inside.. Natasha tensed. Her grip on you tightened, ready to pivot out-

“N-Natasha?!”

The relief that hit Natasha nearly dropped her to her knees. Maria stood at the far counter, gloves on, sleeves rolled. Her dark eyes snapped up, and widened.

“Help me.” she said immediately. “GSW, upper chest. No exit wound. Subclavian or lung, I don’t know. Bleeding out. She’s-” her voice broke “-she’s not stable.”

Maria was already moving. Natasha laid you down on the trauma table, her hands now stained in a dozen shades of red. Your eyes fluttered. You were slipping. Maria ripped open drawers. “We don’t have blood bags.. I’ve got one IV, maybe a saline-”

“Then make it count!” Natasha snapped.

Natasha peeled back the ruined gauze- blood gushed fresh. Maria flinched. “Jesus, it’s arterial.”

“I know.” Natasha clamped down hard again, gauze slipping between her fingers.

You made a strangled sound. “I’m sorry..” Natasha murmured instantly, voice raw.

Maria slammed a drawer shut. “We don’t have what we need. Barely anything. No transfusion kit. No sedatives. Maybe half a bag of saline if we’re lucky.”

“There has to be something!” Natasha snapped, her hands clamped over your wound again. The pressure wasn’t working anymore.

Maria paused. Her jaw tightened. “…We can try a thoracic drain. If the lung’s collapsed, it’ll buy you time. Relieve the pressu-“

“No.”

Both women turned toward you. “No..” you repeated, a bit stronger this time. “No. Not without anesthetic.”

Natasha crouched beside the table instantly. Her bloodied fingers curled around your hand. “Y/n-”

“I know what that is..!” you rasped. “A chest tube? You’re gonna cut between my ribs and jam a plastic straw into my lung. No meds. No numbing. I’ll feel everything..”

“You will.” Maria confirmed grimly, pulling sterile gloves over blood-slicked fingers.

“Then no.” Your voice cracked. “I’m not giving you permission.”

“Then I’m not asking for it.” Natasha said softly.

Your eyes met hers. “I’m sorry, detka..” she whispered. “But I can’t let you die for dignity.”

Your body tensed. Maria was already prepping what little equipment she had, a scalpel, an old chest tube from a dusty tray, a single glove that would double as a makeshift valve. It was barbaric. But it was all they had.

Your chest started to heave with panic. “No..No! Don’t let her-”

“Y/n, we have to..” Natasha cried out, sliding one arm under your shoulder, holding you steady. Her other hand wrapped around your wrist, pressing you flat to the table. “I’ve got you..”

“I-I can’t-”

Maria approached, scalpel in hand. Your entire body arched. “M-Maria-”

“Look at me, Y/n.” Natasha whispered, pressing her forehead against yours. “Just look at me. Just me.”

You turned your head and bit down hard, on your own sleeve. You buried the scream before it could start. Then the blade went in. A sharp slice between ribs. A scream tore out from behind your teeth, muffled by fabric. Your body thrashed on the table, muscles spasming under the fire slicing through your side.

Natasha held you. Locked around you. Whispers spilling fast and panicked into your ear, “I’m sorry..I’m so sorry..I’m here, I’ve got you, just a second more..”

Maria’s hands moved fast, slipping the tube between the ribs with a sickening pressure-pop. Your scream turned guttural, strangled by the sleeve in your mouth. Tears spilled down your cheeks. Your body convulsed.

Natasha felt every twitch. Every gasp. Her hands stayed strong, but her eyes, her eyes burned. Pass out. Please just pass out.

But you didn’t. You stayed awake through all of it. “She’s still conscious..” Maria said, her voice tight. “God, she’s still awake.”

The tube took. Air hissed out. The pressure dropped slightly, your chest shuddered, your breathing hitching and slowing. It had worked. A little.

But you were shaking like a leaf. Sweat drenched your hairline. Your lips were bloodless. And still, no transfusion. No fluids. No blood. “Her pressure’s dropping.” Maria said, voice grim. “We bought time. That’s it. She needs more than we can give.”

Natasha stayed bent over you, fingers still brushing your skin. “I’m not losing you.” she whispered. “You hear me?”

Your eyes rolled. You barely nodded. And Natasha held you tighter, tears sliding silently into your hair. You were still trembling under Natasha’s hands, the chest tube taped clumsily to your side, blood pooling slow and steady beneath the table. Your breath wheezed in uneven patterns, but you were alive. Barely.

Natasha crouched beside you, arms gently bracketing your head, one hand still loosely gripping yours. Her face was pale. There was blood under her nails, in her sleeves, in her hair. Her coat was soaked through.

Then, footsteps again. Too familiar. Natasha’s head snapped toward the door. Just outside the thin metal door, a shadow moved. She recognized the boots. The posture. The gun.

The shooter.

Her stomach dropped through the floor. She didn’t think. She moved on instinct. She dropped flat, pulling your hand down with her. Her other arm shot out, grabbing Maria and dragging her low behind the supply cart.

Natasha’s breath hitched as she crouched behind the trauma table, hand clamped over your cold fingers. “Don’t move. Don’t make a sound.” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”

You blinked slowly. Barely conscious. Your lips moved, but no sound came out. Maria’s hand rested on the handle of a scalpel, knuckles white. The shadow paused…then moved on. They waited. Ten long, silent, agonizing seconds.

The footsteps faded. Gone again. Natasha stayed frozen, crouched over you like a shield, heart pounding loud enough she swore it echoed off the walls. She counted to ten. Then twenty. Then slowly stood.

She looked down. Your eyes had rolled back slightly. Your breathing was too shallow. “Maria.” Natasha said, urgently now.

“I know.” Maria breathed, rushing to the table. “We don’t have time.”

She grabbed a radio, fingers slick from the blood that coated everything now. “This is Dr. Hill in Trauma C. We need O-negative. Emergency transfusion. GSW. Patient’s crashing.”

The radio crackled. No response. “Come on-” she hit the button again. Natasha moved beside her, brushing the hair from your forehead.

“I'll go get it.” Maria turned, “There's no point in waiting here.” She threw the radio down and immediately turned to the door. Scalpel still in hand.

“Maria, you can’t-“ But she was already gone. Natasha leaned in again, her bloody hand stroking over your jaw. “You’re okay..” she murmured. “You’re doing so good.”

“I’m so tired…”

“I know. But the blood’s coming. We just need to hold on a little longer.”

Natasha did nothing now, no more pressure. No more field surgery. Just stayed beside you. Just held. She didn’t need to play doctor anymore. She needed to be yours. The silence stretched. Heavy. Thick with blood and the too-quiet hum of failing vitals. The only sound in the trauma room was the soft wheeze of air moving through your throat.

You could feel Natasha staring. Watching you. Not speaking. Not blinking. Just breathing too slow. Too steady. Too controlled.

“Hey..” you rasped, voice rough like gravel.

Natasha snapped her eyes to you. “What? What is it?”

You licked your cracked lips and blinked slowly. “Stop staring at my tits.”

There was a beat of stunned silence. Then, Natasha exhaled a sharp breath that might’ve been a laugh. “Oh my God.”

You grinned, faint and sleepy. “You’re not even subtle. We’re in a crisis, Romanoff.”

Natasha leaned in slightly, a dry chuckle catching in her throat. “We’ve been here before..” she murmured. “You half-naked. Me looking.”

You raised a brow, voice barely a whisper. “One time.”

Natasha smiled. Tight, but real. “One very memorable time.”

Despite the pain, you snorted. “Guess I make an impression..”

“You do.” Natasha said, softer now. Her thumb brushed over your knuckles. You blinked slowly, chest rising in shallow, painful movements.

Natasha caught herself, cleared her throat, forced a smirk onto her lips. “And, for the record…I wasn’t staring at your tits.”

You gave her a slow, skeptical look. “I’ve seen you without a bra, detka. Very thoroughly.”

Your smile faded, but the warmth lingered in your eyes. “Your hands are shaking..” you whispered.

Natasha didn’t deny it. “I’ve got you.” she said instead, voice rough. “Even if I’m falling apart.”

Outside, a new sound finally echoed down the hallway, rushed footsteps. Blood. Help was coming. The door banged open with a force that made Natasha’s head snap up, every muscle coiled to strike, until she saw Maria step inside, a blood bag swinging from her gloved hand and another clenched between her arm and ribs.

“Blood.” she announced, breathless. “Two units. And the shooter’s been spotted on the opposite wing. We’ve got maybe five minutes to move.”

Relief cracked across Natasha’s face like a fault line. Maria was already moving to hang the first bag, attaching the line to the IV she’d placed earlier. “I called it in on the way, three interns are prepping OR 2. They’ll have it sterile by the time we get there.”

Natasha exhaled. “Thank God..” She looked down at you. The blood was already starting to drip through the line, inching toward the cannula taped to your forearm. You looked…worse. Lips pale. Breathing shallower. Sweat beading at your hairline, but your skin was ice.

Then it happened. You groaned, sharp and sudden. Your body twitched violently on the table, hands clawing weakly at your side.

“Fuck, it moved.” Maria said, rushing over. “Something shifted.”

Natasha leaned in immediately. “Hey- hey- what is it?”

Your mouth opened in a silent cry. Your back arched. And then blood poured faster. Soaking through the gauze again. Red. Bright. Fresh.

“She’s bleeding internally, faster now. The bullet moved.” Maria said. “It’s tearing something worse. We need to go.”

Natasha didn’t wait. She grabbed the side rails of the trauma table and unlatched the brakes, turning it toward the door.

“Help me push!” she barked. Maria was already there. They shoved the gurney out into the hallway, blood dripping behind you, wheels squealing against the tile. Natasha never let go of your hand.

“We’re almost there, you hear me?” she said breathlessly. “Stay awake for me!”

Your lips parted. “I c-can’t…feel my legs..”

Maria met Natasha’s eyes over the gurney. They pushed faster. “Door’s open.” an intern shouted down the hall. “OR’s ready!”

They swerved the corner, nearly colliding with a nurse backing out of a storage room. The hallway ahead was clear, lit in emergency red, glowing like a tunnel to salvation.

“We’ve got you.” Natasha said again, her voice breaking. “Just hold on. We’re almost there.”

The blood bag above you drained fast. Not fast enough. The doors of OR 2 swung open with a bang that made the interns inside jump. The table rolled in at full speed, Natasha at the head, Maria at the side, a nurse already rushing to hook up suction and monitors.

“Vitals are unstable.” Maria called. “BP dropping. Pulse thready. She’s losing blood faster than we can give it.”

Natasha barked orders as she moved- “Sterile tray. Chest opened. Crash cart nearby. Be ready to cut now.”

The nurse was already prepping anesthesia. You blinked up at the overhead light, dazed and barely conscious. Your lips moved, dry, cracked.

“..Don’t wanna die..” you whispered, voice soft and slurred. “’m scared…”

Natasha moved immediately to your side, gloves half-on, hairnet already twisted into place. She crouched at the head of the table, face close to yours, hand cupping your cheek.

“You’re not dying.” she said quietly, fiercely. “You hear me? You’re not. Not here. Not now. Not on my fucking table.”

You let out a slow, rattling breath. “H-Hurts…”

“I know..” Natasha whispered, eyes stinging. “But I’m here. Right here. I’m gonna fix it. You just have to sleep, detka. That’s all. Just let go for a little while.”

Your eyes searched hers. The fear was still there, carved deep behind the pain. Natasha leaned down, brushing your foreheads together.

“Look at me. Just me.”

You blinked. “You’re gonna wake up..” Natasha whispered, “and when you do, I’ll still be right here. I promise.”

Your lashes fluttered. The nurse turned. “We’re pushing anesthesia. She’ll be out in seconds.”

Natasha kept her hand on your cheek, voice steady even as her fingers trembled. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

Your lips moved again, but the sound was gone now. Your body relaxed, too fast, too loose. Then your eyes closed. The heart monitor beeped slow. The anesthetic took you under like a tide.

Natasha froze. Stared at you. Watched the rise and fall of your chest. Slower. Calmer. But still there. Then, she stood. Snapped on the rest of her gloves. The shift was immediate.

“Scalpel.” she said, voice sharp, eyes locked on the chest already stained in blood.

Maria slid it into her hand. And without hesitation, she cut. The first incision split open the soaked gauze and revealed a mess of blood, shredded tissue, and pooling darkness inside your chest cavity.

Natasha barely hesitated. “Retractors.”

Metal clicked into her gloved hand. She forced the ribs apart, opening the chest just enough to get a clear view. But there was nothing clear about it. Too much blood. Too much movement. It was like operating underwater, every shift caused a ripple of red that clouded everything. Her heart hammered behind her sternum.

“She’s still bleeding internally..” Maria said, voice steady but strained. Natasha scanned the cavity. Looking for metal. A glint. A tear. A hint of the bullet. Nothing. She reached deeper, feeling for it, fingers tracing along broken vessels and muscle, and still, nothing.

Maria suctioned, but the blood kept flooding in. Then..A flash. Metal. Near the pericardial sac. Wedged behind tissue. Nestled close to where no foreign object should be.

“I’ve got it.” Natasha breathed. “Clamp..clamp- hold suction steady.”

Natasha reached in deeper, angling around bone and flesh. That’s when it happened. The monitor let out a flat tone. A scream of static silence. Your body went still.

“No pulse!” Maria said instantly, grabbing paddles. “She’s gone into cardiac arrest!”

“No..” Natasha’s voice cracked. Not you. Not again. The smell of blood hit her harder than before. The lights overhead blurred. Her fingers froze, still inside your chest.

It was the same. The same rhythm. The same mess of anatomy soaked in blood. The same smell that had followed her home after that night weeks ago, when a patient with a nearly identical GSW bled out right here on this same table. Bullet hidden too deep. Lost too much time.

She hadn’t found it fast enough. And she watched the light fade. Her hands shook then, too. And now? You were on the table. Pale. Open. Heart stopped.

“Natasha.” Maria said, sharper. “We need to move.”

Natasha’s hands snapped into motion. “Starting internal massage.” she said hoarsely. She pressed two fingers around your heart, massaging rhythmically. One, two, three, four…Her gloves turned even darker.

“Charging defib, 150.” Maria said. “Clear.” The shock snapped through your chest. Your body jolted on the table.

Flatline.

“No, no, no, charge again! 200.”

Another jolt. Still flat. Natasha bent forward, forehead nearly touching yours as she pumped manually again.

“Come on..” she whispered. “I didn’t hold you through that just to lose you here!”

She felt the muscle under her hands, soft, slow. Still. Refusing. “Charging again, 300. Ready.”

Natasha pulled her hands away. “Clear.” The jolt arced through again. The light above flickered.

And then..Beep. A blip and another. “She’s back..” Maria said, voice softer, almost stunned. The monitor climbed, slow but steady. Your heart beat again.

And Natasha, covered in your blood, arms buried in trauma, let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding since the moment they rolled you into the OR.

She hadn’t lost you.. Not this time. The monitor let out a single shrill tone. A scream of silence. Flatline. Again. The steady rhythm they fought so hard to bring back..gone. The surgical team froze. Maria’s hands dropped from the paddles, her eyes locked on the screen.

“Natasha…” she said softly. There was no judgment in her voice. Just the sound of someone tired of watching people die.

Natasha didn’t move. “BP’s gone. Pulse gone. Pupils dilating.”

Still, Natasha didn’t speak. Maria took a step back. “There’s nothing else to do.”

It was protocol.

She was saying it like they always said it. The quiet, dignified way. And for a second, Natasha wasn’t in this OR anymore. She was weeks ago. Same sterile walls. Same too-bright light. A man on the table. The same wound. The same blood-soaked gloves. And a nurse in a pale blue mask saying, “Time of death: 03:47.”

She remembered how the silence felt after. Heavy. Hollow. Like the room had swallowed its breath and never let it go. And now…You were on this table.

You.

Not just a patient. Not just another name.

You.

The girl who cracked jokes through fear. The one who held on through a chest tube with no anesthetic. The one who smiled with blood on her teeth and said “stop staring at my tits.”

Maria reached out again. “Natasha…let her go..”

Natasha’s jaw clenched and shook her head. “No.”

“Nat-”

“I said no.”

Her voice was steel now. Cold. Final. “She’s not gone.”

“Her heart-“

“She’s not gone!”

And then she moved. She slammed her hand back onto your chest, blood squelching beneath her palm. “Suction. Now.”

“Natasha-”

“I said suction!”

The interns and Maria hesitated for half a second, then obeyed. The suction cleared the cavity, blood drawn away in hot, thick rivulets. Natasha reached inside again, direct heart massage. Her hands coated in gore.

“She’s not cold yet..” Natasha whispered, mostly to herself. “She’s not cold. She’s not blue. She’s still here.”

The monitor stayed flat. Still, Natasha pumped. One, two, three, four.

“Come on..” she hissed. “Come back.”

“You don’t get to go, Y/n! You don’t get to fucking leave me!”

The silence stretched. Another second. Beep. The tiniest sound. Soft. Fragile. Then another. A slow return of rhythm. Maria’s head snapped to the monitor. “She’s back. Sinus rhythm.”

Natasha’s body slumped. Just a little. Her hands trembled now. Truly trembled. But she kept them steady over your heart. She didn’t have time to cry. Didn’t have the right to fall apart. Her hands were still inside your chest, gently compressing, guiding the blood as your body tried to remember how to live.

And then, the OR door creaked open. Slow. Too slow. Everyone froze. It wasn’t a crash this time. No screaming. No barking orders. Just the quiet, deliberate sound of danger arriving.

Natasha’s head snapped up. The shooter stood in the doorway. No urgency now. No chaos. Just calm. He stepped inside like he was walking into a church. Quiet. Reverent. Almost…grieving.

His eyes fell on you first. Chest open. Heart exposed. Breath shallow. Something shifted in his face.

“She looks like her..He muttered. “My wife. In the ICU. Just like this. Tubes. Open. Pale.” He stepped closer. Maria held her breath.

“She was warm..” he whispered, staring at you. “I remember her hand. She was warm. And they told me she was gone. But you know what that means? They didn’t even try.”

Natasha’s body tensed as he leaned in. As his hand rose. Fingers reached for your face, blood-streaked glove hovering just inches from your cheek.

“Don’t you dare touch her.” she growled, voice feral. The room froze. Maria turned sharply. “Natasha, stop.”

“No.” Her jaw was clenched. Her chest heaved. “You don’t get to come in here and touch her like you didn’t just slaughter someone in the goddamn hallway.”

The man stared at her, stunned, but only for a moment. Then his gaze turned elsewhere. Drifted. It flicked past her. To the far corner of the OR. To a nurse. Young. Nervous. Pale as a ghost. Backed up against a medicine cabinet. Recognition hit the man like a freight train.

“I know you..” he whispered. The nurse froze.

“You were there..” the man said, louder now. “You were in that room. You lied. You said my wife coded on her own. But you let her choke! You all let her die!”

The nurse shook his head, tears already falling. “I-I didn’t- I-I wasn’t-”

The gunshot cracked like thunder. The nurse dropped instantly. Screams filled the OR. Someone dropped to their knees. A tray clattered to the floor. Blood pooled across the tile like spilled paint.

Natasha flinched violently. Even she wasn’t immune to the sudden, unrelenting violence. You were dying on her table. And now, everyone else might die too. The shooter wasn’t yelling. Wasn’t raging.

He was talking to himself. Muttering about names. About files. About how none of this was fair. About how he just wanted someone to hurt the way he hurt. Maria’s eyes flicked to the monitor. Your heartbeat was slowing again.

Too much blood lost. Too much trauma. And now this. Her mind raced. She turned to Natasha- hands still trembling, and stepped back from the table.

“Let her go.”

Natasha blinked. “What-?”

“Back off. Now.”

Confusion hit first. Then rage. Then fear. “What are you doing?” Natasha snapped. “She’s alive- she’s right here-“

“Natasha, trust me!” Maria hissed through clenched teeth, her voice a low, desperate warning. “Do it. Please..!”

No!” Natasha’s voice cracked open like a damn fault line. “Don’t do this- don’t do this! Maria, she’s right here. I can feel her, I’m still-”

“He will kill everyone in this room!” Maria hissed. “She’s already bleeding out again! If you keep fighting- he will shoot all of us, including you!”

“Good!” Natasha screamed. “Let him shoot me! I’m not letting her go!”

The shooter stepped closer again, gun raising, twitching now. Maria’s voice rose sharply. “Hands up, Nat. Now.”

“I can’t..” Natasha said, trembling, breaking. “I can’t let her die. Don’t make me-”

Natasha’s hands were still red. Her forearms were covered in blood. Your chest was still open, exposed, glistening. The last thing she’d done was press two fingers around your heart to keep it beating. She couldn’t let go. She wouldn’t.

“D-Don’t make me do this..”

“You have to.” Maria said, louder now. “He’ll kill all of us.”

Natasha stared at you. You looked so small. So pale. Still. “Goddammit!” And she raised her hands.

Tears streamed down her face as she stepped back, your blood dripping from her fingertips. Maria turned to the shooter. “If she doesn’t get blood in the next two minutes..” Maria said, “her organs will shut down. Her heart will start fibrillating. Then it’ll stop.”

She glanced back at your body, pale, carved open, barely alive. “After that,” she continued, “the brain goes. She won’t feel anything. Won’t know it’s happening.”

Her voice was quieter now. Gentle. Measured. “She’ll just…stop.”

One soft pulse. Then another. Slower. Then, Flatline. A long, unbroken shriek of sound sliced through the room.

Maria stood frozen, eyes on the monitor. When the sound didn’t stop, when the line didn’t blip, she closed her eyes. Just for a moment. To shut out the heartbreak. To hide the way her own hands were shaking.

The shooter stared at your body. Silent. He didn’t cry. But something in him broke. You could feel it in the way the gun slowly lowered. The way his breathing changed. How his shoulders sagged.

And Natasha broke. Her hands fell to her thighs, blood soaking her scrubs. Her whole body shook, shoulders hitching with grief so violent she couldn’t speak. It was like she felt it inside her own chest, the second it happened, like her own heart stuttered in sympathy. A void opened behind her ribs and swallowed her whole.

She pressed her fists to her forehead and sobbed silently. Teeth clenched. Face wet. “No..” she whispered. “No, no, no, please, no..”

The shooter lingered in the doorway. “I didn’t want this.” Then he turned and walked out. The door closed behind him. Silence. No one moved.

Maria stood frozen, then, carefully, turned back to the table. She waited. Five seconds. Ten. Then..She reconnected the ECU cable.

Beep. A single, tiny sound. Natasha didn’t hear it at first. Not until Maria turned and said, gently, “She’s not gone. Nat. Comon.”

Natasha’s head jerked up. Her eyes flew to the monitor. A heartbeat. “We’ve got a window. Do something.”

And Natasha, she surged off the floor like fire. “S-Scalpel..” she gasped, voice shredded. Her gloves slid on with a sickening squelch as she gripped your heart again, every muscle tight, every motion purposeful. Desperate. Her face soaked with tears.

She looked at Maria. Her eyes were on fire. “Don’t ever fucking do that again.”

Maria nodded. “I know.”

Then they got to work, elbow deep in blood, horror, and hope. Then, another gunshot outside. Everyone in the OR jumped. Had he killed someone else? Had he turned the gun on himself?

Then, Footsteps. Quick. Purposeful. Heavy. Not panicked. Disciplined. The sound grew louder, approaching fast, accompanied by the clipped mutter of radios and low commands shouted through headsets. The door burst open. Natasha turned, body rigid, ready to throw herself over your corpse again if she had to.

But it wasn’t him. It wasn’t the shooter. It was SWAT. A line of police officers stormed into the OR in tight formation, weapons raised, but held at a cautious distance. Muzzles lowered slightly, not aiming at anyone. Not yet. Helmets. Body armor. Shields.

One officer barked, “Clear the back wall. Move away from the patient!”

A nurse cried out. Another stumbled backward. But no one moved fast. It was still an operating room. And you were still open on the table.

Maria raised her hands quickly, voice sharp. “We’re in surgery! We have a patient open, guns down!”

A second officer stepped forward, voice steadier, calmer. “Shooter is down. He’s in custody. We’ve secured the south wing. Repeat, the shooter is down.”

Maria’s knees nearly buckled. But Natasha? She didn’t move, didn’t flinch, didn’t blink. She didn’t even hear the officer say her name. Didn’t notice the way one medic gestured toward the blood pooling at her knees.

The lead officer took one step forward, his voice firm but no longer urgent. “What’s the status?”

Natasha’s hands were moving, slow, uncertain, but moving. As if by sheer force of will, she could make your heart remember how to beat. As if she could physically stop you from slipping through her fingers.

Maria stepped forward, shielding both of you from the officers like a mother lion despite the tremor in her spine.

“The patient is female.” Maria said, her voice clipped and controlled. “Mid-twenties. Gunshot, entry just beneath the clavicle. No exit. Severe thoracic trauma. We performed an emergency thoracotomy. No transfusion available during surgery.”

He glanced at Natasha again. “Doctor, do you need assistance?”

Natasha didn’t answer. Her bloodied fingers had returned to your chest, moving carefully, gently, searching. Hoping. Begging. Her hands were shaking. Her breaths were too shallow. Her lips were pressed together like if she opened them, she’d start screaming.

Maria stepped between them. “She’s not done. Don’t ask her questions. She won’t stop until she’s sure.”

The officer lowered his radio slightly, watching Natasha. “She’s in shock.”

“She’s in..something else.” Maria said softly. Then, more firmly: “Give her a second.”

And the OR fell into a delicate silence, broken only by that single, steady, heartless tone. The line that hadn’t budged. The one Natasha was fighting like hell to outrun.

Two days later.

The news anchor’s voice echoed faintly from the TV in the breakroom, but no one was really watching anymore.

“…ongoing investigation into the hospital shooting… 12 confirmed dead, multiple injured. The suspect, currently in custody, is said to have entered the OR during an active trauma surgery…“

The screen showed aerial shots of the hospital. The emergency entrance. The ambulances. A photo of the hallway with blood still staining the tile.

A nurse watching from the corner of the room sobbed quietly into her sleeve. Another sat beside her, holding her hand. A doctor passed through without speaking, his face pale, jaw tight. Somebody turned the volume down. But the silence was worse.

In the women’s changing room, everything was still. Cool fluorescent lights hummed above rows of lockers. The floor smelled faintly of antiseptic and old metal.

Natasha sat alone on a bench, still in the same pair of hospital-issued sweatpants and an undershirt. Her duffle bag sat at her feet, untouched. Her hair was damp again, she’d showered. Twice.

But the blood never really left. Not in her mind. She stared at the floor. Or maybe through it. Her elbows rested on her knees. Her hands hung limply between them, fingers twitching with phantom movement, like she could still feel your chest beneath her palms, still feel your pulse flutter and vanish.

She remembered everything. The scream. The gunshot. Your blood on her hands. Maria yelling. Her own hands shaking too hard to keep compressions going. The flatline. Your lips turning pale. That moment she’d said goodbye with her body but not her heart.

They’d sedated you after the surgery. Twice. Once for the pain. Once because you were fighting the ventilator. She hadn’t seen your eyes open since. She hadn’t heard your voice. She’d sat by your bed until they made her leave. Until they said she needed sleep. Until Maria gently took her shoulder and whispered, “Go breathe. Just for a minute.”

So she came here. But she didn’t breathe. She just stared. The door creaked open. Maria stepped into the room, closing the door gently behind her. She didn’t speak at first. She just looked at her. The way her shoulders were slumped. The way her fingers twitched like they wanted to dig back into a body and fix something. Anything.

Maria crossed the room and sat beside her, slow and careful. “Don’t.” Natasha muttered, eyes fixed on the floor.

“I brought you water.” she said gently, setting a bottle down on the bench beside her.

Natasha didn’t look at it. Or her. “I’m fine.”

Maria’s sigh was quiet but sharp. “You’re the worst liar in this hospital.”

Natasha kept staring straight ahead, like if she just kept watching the tiles long enough, they’d start making sense.

Maria crossed her arms and leaned back against the lockers. “You haven’t checked on her.”

“She’s sedated.”

“She’s awake.”

Natasha froze. Maria looked at her fully now, eyes searching. “She asked for you. She’s groggy, and sore, and confused.” Maria said. “But she said your name. First thing out of her mouth.”

Natasha’s fingers twitched again, her nails digging into the heel of her palm. And then she said the one thing she hadn’t let herself say out loud:

“I don’t know why this hurt so much.”

Maria blinked. Natasha kept going, voice quieter, like the words were dragging their way out of her throat.

“I’ve lost people before. Friends. Teammates. Strangers on the table. But this…I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. I can’t breathe right. I keep thinking she’s gonna flatline again if I look away. I haven’t slept. I haven’t even let myself breathe.”

Maria watched her. Then, gently: “You love her.”

Natasha’s eyes snapped to hers, sharp, defensive, panicked. “She doesn’t know.”

“Do you?”

She looked down. Didn’t answer. Maria leaned in a little. “You didn’t just break because she died. You broke because she’s the only one who made you believe you could have something more.”

Natasha’s hands curled in tighter. “She doesn’t know.” she said again, more fragile this time. “What if she finds out?”

“She already has.”

Natasha flinched.

“Maybe not in words,” Maria continued. “But if you think she doesn’t know what your hands feel like when they’re the only thing keeping her alive, you’re wrong.”

The silence stretched long between them. Then Maria stood, quiet and calm. “You didn’t lose her.” she whispered. “Go remind yourself.”

The hallway smelled like lemon-scented disinfectant and something warm and sterile and sad. Natasha walked slowly. Not because she was unsure.

But because every step felt like a step back toward that moment. Toward the table. The blood. The line. The silence. When she reached your room, she didn’t enter at first.

She stood outside the door, her hand braced against the frame. Through the glass, she saw you. Propped up slightly. Pale. Worn. Eyes closed. Machines humming quietly around you. Your hand resting weakly over your stomach.

But your chest rose and fell. Steady and present. She exhaled, and only then realized she’d been holding her breath since Maria spoke.

She pushed the door open slowly. Your eyes fluttered open, sluggish. You blinked a few times, adjusting to the light. Then your gaze shifted and landed on her.

“…Hi” you croaked, voice raspy.

“Hey..” she whispered back. She didn’t ask how you were. She could see it. You were weak. Worn. Still there, but fading in and out of clarity.

So she moved to your side. Sat. Reached for your hand, but waited before touching it. You lifted your fingers slightly. That was all the permission she needed.

Her fingers wrapped around yours. Firm. Present. Steady. Just like before. Except now, there was no blood. No gloves. Just skin.

“There was a shooter..” you mumbled.

She nodded. “It’s over.”

“I got hit?”

“You did.”

“And…the OR?”

She froze. Just for a second.

“I don’t remember anything..”

Natasha didn’t speak. Your eyes flicked to her. “Did something happen?”

She squeezed your hand. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

You watched her carefully. The way her voice dipped on you. The way her shoulders looked tighter now than they did during training runs or briefings. The way her thumb kept brushing across your knuckles, back and forth, like she was trying to remind herself you were warm.

But your body was heavy. Your brain foggy. You knew there was more. But you let it go. You weren’t strong enough to carry it.

And she..she wasn’t ready to speak it. So you squeezed her hand in return. Weak. But enough. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Her eyes flicked down. And this time, her voice cracked. “So am I.”

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[ivyasproperty]

Redline. (Bonus 3) | N.R

Older!Motorsportboss!Natasha x Younger!Racing!Driver!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N= 32, r=23), crash, blood, broken bone (detailed), panic attack

Word count: 8,1k

A/N: There’s no tissue emoji, so I’m just using this one instead: 🧻

The first rays of morning light spilled through the sleek, minimalist bedroom, painting the polished surfaces in soft hues of gold. Natasha was already awake, her gaze fixed on her laptop screen as her fingers danced over the keyboard. Notes, timings, strategies, all meticulously checked and double-checked, as she always did on race days. It was her ritual, her way of ensuring everything went flawlessly.

But even while immersed in her work, her eyes flickered toward the bed, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. You were still tangled in the blankets, one arm flung over a pillow, your hair a beautiful mess against the white sheets. The peaceful rise and fall of your chest was one of Natasha’s favorite things to watch.

Natasha pushed away from her desk, stretching slightly before walking over to the bed. She perched on the edge, her fingers delicately sweeping a stray lock of hair from your cheek.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Natasha murmured, her voice a soft blend of fondness and amusement. “It’s almost time to get ready.”

A sleepy groan escaped your lips, your eyes squeezing shut tighter as if to keep the morning at bay. “Five more minutes…” you mumbled, your voice muffled by the pillow.

Natasha chuckled, the sound low and rich. “You say that every morning, and somehow it always ends up being twenty.”

You cracked open one eye, your lips curving into a lazy grin. “You’re exaggerating.”

“Am I?” Natasha quirked a brow. “If you don’t get up soon, you’ll be the one explaining to the fans why their favorite driver was late.”

That got your attention. Your eyes fluttered open fully, the warmth of sleep slowly giving way to the familiar rush of excitement. Today was another race, another chance to prove yourself, not only to the world but to yourself.

“Fine, fine, I’m up.” You sat up, rubbing your eyes before glancing at Natasha with a sleepy smile. “You’re already in boss mode, huh?”

“Someone has to keep you in line.” Natasha replied with a smirk, but the glint in her eyes was nothing but adoring. “Now, I made you coffee. It’s waiting in the kitchen. I’ll get your things ready.”

“Have I mentioned you’re amazing?” You stretched your arms above your head, the early morning light catching your features in a way that made Natasha’s heart skip a beat.

“Once or twice.” Natasha’s voice softened, her hand resting on your shoulder. “But I like hearing it.”

You reached up and captured Natasha’s hand, bringing it to your lips for a gentle kiss. “Well, you are. Absolutely amazing.”

Natasha’s cheeks flushed, but her composure never wavered. “And you’re a dork. Now, get moving. We have a race to win.”

Within thirty minutes, you were showered, dressed, and already buzzing with pre-race energy. Natasha was all precision and efficiency, double-checking every little detail before you left.

The drive to the racetrack was relaxed, filled with quiet conversation and the comfortable silence that only comes from years of understanding. Your fingers laced through Natasha’s as she drove with her usual cool confidence, the city blurring past the windows.

“Ready to meet your fans?” Natasha asked, glancing sideways at you.

A grin spread across your face. “Always.”

The moment you arrived at the paddock, you could hear the hum of excitement from the fans gathered just beyond the barriers. As you stepped out of the car, the familiar chants of your name echoed through the air.

“Y/N! Y/N! Over here!”

You beamed, your nerves melting away under the warmth of the crowd’s enthusiasm. Natasha watched from a few steps behind, arms crossed, her expression softening as she saw you stop to sign autographs, exchange kind words, and take selfies with your adoring fans.

Natasha joined you by the barrier. A few fans squealed, not just for the famous driver but for the woman standing at your side.

“Alright, alright.” Natasha said with a half-smirk, “You’ve had your fun. Let’s get you to the garage before you start signing every piece of merchandise in this city.”

You laughed, but Natasha could see the energy it gave you. You were glowing. And today, Natasha would do everything to make sure your star kept shining.

The energy in the paddock was electric, the kind of buzz that seeped into your veins and made you feel alive. Natasha guided you through the usual pre-race routine like clockwork, her presence as steady as ever. But there was a warmth to her efficiency that only you could feel. A care threaded between every checklist and instruction.

As you made your way to the garage, you glanced over at Natasha, your fingers twitching slightly with pre-race nerves. Natasha caught the movement instantly. “Cold feet?” she asked, one eyebrow arching in concern.

“Just the good kind of nerves..” you replied, offering a crooked smile. “The ‘I’m ready to crush this’ kind.”

“Good.” Natasha nodded, her eyes scanning the garage as you entered. Technicians hustled around you, final checks and adjustments happening in a blur of motion.

The minutes ticked by as you completed your pre-race rituals, your muscles thrumming with the familiar cocktail of nerves and excitement. As the call came for drivers to take their places, Natasha walked alongside you to the car.

You slid into the driver’s seat, your hands instinctively reaching for the steering wheel as you settled in. Natasha leaned over the side of the car, her gaze locking with yours. “Remember, no heroics. Just smooth and clean. You’ve got this.”

“Got it, boss.” You winked, your cheeky grin making Natasha roll her eyes, though her expression softened with pride.

The engines roared to life all around you, but your focus remained on Natasha until the last possible moment, the warmth of her touch lingering long after she stepped away.

The race began with a thunderous surge of power, tires squealing against the track as you pushed your car to its limits.

The race was going perfectly. Almost too perfectly. Your grip on the steering wheel was firm but relaxed, your breathing steady, your focus unshakable. The crowd’s roar was a distant echo, dulled by the padded embrace of your helmet. Lap after lap, the world narrowed to nothing but the track before you and Natasha’s calm, measured voice in your ear.

“Just a few more laps, Y/n. You’re holding the lead beautifully.” Natasha praised, her tone laced with that signature coolness but layered with something deeper. Pride. Relief. Love.

You grinned despite yourself, eyes flickering briefly to the rearview mirror. The pack was behind you, clawing at your shadow, but your speed was unmatchable today. You were flying.

Then, out of nowhere, chaos erupted. A sharp, metallic scream tore through your headset, the sound of metal against metal. Tires shrieking. Engines spluttering into desperate, dying growls.

“Car pileup! Sector 3! Repeat, multiple cars down!” The voice from Race Control was pure panic, barely able to keep its terror in check.

Your stomach twisted. Your eyes snapped to the bend ahead. It was supposed to be an easy maneuver, just a clean sweep around the corner before the long straight. But the corner wasn’t clear.

Smoke billowed, thick and acrid, curling into the sky like dark fingers clawing upward. Amidst the haze, the glint of wreckage shone with a wicked brightness, metal torn and twisted like paper. Two cars tangled together, blocking the track almost completely.

“Oh, shit…” Your voice came out cracked and trembling, your foot already slamming on the brakes. But there was no time.

No way to avoid it.

“Y/n, slow down! Pull to the left!” Natasha’s voice cut through your ear, sharp and desperate, the cool edge of her usual calm utterly shattered. “Y/n, now!”

You tried. God, you tried. The wheel jerked beneath your hands as you swerved left, but another car had already collided with the wreckage, spinning out of control and slamming into your side. The crash happened so fast, it was nothing more than a nightmare stitched from metal and fire.

The sound of steel shrieking against steel filled your ears, your body thrown forward as your car skidded violently against another. Pain flared across your ribs, your shoulder slamming into the frame, your head knocking against the padded helmet hard enough to leave your vision blurred.

Then, just darkness.

The crash happened so fast, it was nothing more than a nightmare stitched from metal and fire. Meanwhile, in the control room, Natasha was frozen. Her fingers dug into the edge of the console, knuckles white, her eyes glued to the live feed that displayed nothing but a burning mess of wreckage and smoke.

Around her, the other team managers were reacting, shouting commands, issuing urgent instructions, some already sprinting toward the exit. But Natasha couldn’t move. She was locked in place by the overwhelming dread that had wrapped itself around her like ice.

“Romanoff! What the hell are you doing just standing there? Move!” A voice snapped her out of the icy paralysis gripping her. A hand on her shoulder was rough, shaking her out of her trance. She could barely see him through the haze of panic clouding her vision, but his eyes were sharp and urgent.

“I-” Natasha choked on her words, her voice cracking. Her mind was torn between the control room’s blinking screens and the burning wreckage outside.

“She’s out there..” she rasped, her voice thick and guttural.

“I know.” The men replied, his jaw clenched. “And so is my driver. We’re going to find them. Now, get in the damn car.”

Natasha barely registered the way Daniel’s fingers curled around her arm, dragging her toward the emergency exit. The world around her was a blur of frantic shouts and blaring alarms. All she could hear was the faint, distorted echo of your last words over the headset.

She felt like she was choking. The memory of your grin, your careless confidence, your unwavering faith in her guidance, all of it tore through her with the cruelty of broken glass.

They reached Daniel’s car, the bright red vehicle roaring to life the moment he turned the key. Natasha threw herself into the passenger seat, her hands trembling uncontrollably.

“Buckle up.” He snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument. But Natasha barely heard him. Her thoughts were a tangled mess, each one worse than the last.

What if it’s worse this time? What if your car is nothing but wreckage, your body broken beyond recognition? She swallowed thickly, her nails digging into her own palms until pain flared in her hands. “Drive faster..”

“I’m going as fast as I can without crashing us both..” He shot back, his eyes locked on the road as the car shot down the access lane toward the accident site.

The air between them was electric with urgency, the silence filled with the muffled rumble of engines and the distant screams of the crowd. The crash had spread like wildfire, multiple cars caught in the violent mess of twisted metal and scorched asphalt.

“Natasha.” Daniel’s voice broke through her spiraling thoughts. His eyes flicked toward her, his own panic tightly controlled, channeled into cold determination. “We’ll find them. Y/ns strong. She’s a fighter. You of all people should know that.”

Natasha clenched her jaw, her lips pressed into a thin line. “That’s the problem.” she whispered. “She’s been fighting her whole damn life. And if it’s bad this time…if it’s worse…”

The wreckages came into view, a horrifying sprawl of debris and smoke. Cars were scattered across the track, crumpled like toys thrown aside by an angry child. Marshals were already swarming the area, trying to contain the chaos, but there was nothing contained about the devastation before them.

Daniel slammed the brakes, bringing the car to a screeching halt. The instant they stopped, Natasha was out of the passenger seat, her feet pounding against the asphalt as she ran toward the destruction.

They split up, their desperation spurring them in opposite directions, both of them scanning the wreckage with feverish intensity.

The smoke was thick, burning her throat, her lungs. She stumbled over a shattered piece of debris, her legs threatening to buckle under her. But she kept going. Because she couldn’t stop. Because you were out here. And Natasha was not going to leave you alone.

Her voice tore from her throat as she called out, her screams swallowed by the chaos around her. Her eyes scanned the mess of broken vehicles and frantic medics, her throat raw from shouting your name. The world was a blur of flashing lights, shouting officials, and the terrifying echo of her own heartbeat.

And then, through the haze of smoke, she saw it. Your car. It was half-crushed against another, the nose twisted, panels ripped apart like some brutal sculpture. But even more incredible was what Natasha saw beside it.

You.

Natasha’s breath seized in her throat as she saw the way your body sagged between the medics’ arms, your head lolling forward like you could barely hold it up. The paramedics were lowering you carefully to the ground, their words a mess of urgent commands and rehearsed reassurances.

She was at your side in an instant, her knees almost buckling with sheer relief and terror all tangled together. “Y/n. Hey. I’m here. I’m right here..”

Your eyes flickered open at the sound of her voice, dazed and unfocused. The dark glass of your helmet’s visor was cracked, splintered lines running through the surface like spiderwebs.

“Natasha..?” Your voice was barely a whisper, your lips chapped and trembling.

“Yes, it’s me. I’m here. You’re okay..” Natasha said, her voice tight and trembling. Her hand wrapped around your gloved fingers, gripping them like a lifeline.

The medics were already circling like vultures, one of them barking orders into a radio while the other started running through the protocol.

“We need to get her helmet off, check her breathing. Possible concussion. Someone get the stretcher ready!”

Natasha’s fingers tightened around your hand, her gaze locked on your face. “Stay with me, okay? You’re doing great. Just stay with me..”

The medic nearest to you was speaking calmly, his gloved hands gentle as he reached for your helmet. “Y/n, I need to take this off, okay? It’s going to hurt a bit, but you’ll be able to breathe better. Just stay still.”

You nodded, though the motion was clumsy, your head barely moving. “’Kay…Just…just don’t leave..” you slurred, your gaze sliding to Natasha’s face with a desperation that nearly broke her.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Natasha promised, her voice hoarse. “I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.”

The helmet came off with a sickening scrape of broken metal against skin. Natasha’s breath hitched as her eyes caught the glistening trail of blood running down your face from a vicious gash torn across your eyebrow. The cut was deep, the blood so dark it looked black against your skin.

Natasha’s gasp was almost a sob. “Oh God… Y/n…”

But your gaze was unfocused, your breathing shallow. “I…I’m fine. Just…just a little dizzy..”

The medic’s gloved hands were already pressing gently against your head, checking for fractures, murmuring reassurances you couldn’t hear. Natasha’s eyes traced every drop of blood, every twitch of pain on your face.

“Y/n, I need you to try and stay awake, alright?” the medic continued, his tone calm and firm. “Can you tell me where it hurts?”

Your voice was sluggish, your words slurred. “Uh…Head…and…foot. Really hurts..”

The medic’s eyes dropped to your leg, and Natasha followed his gaze. Then her stomach dropped to the ground.

Your right foot was twisted at a sickening angle, the racing boot visibly swollen. But worse than that, the thing that almost made Natasha vomit, was the jagged, broken bone protruding just above your ankle, blood pooling against the fabric.

“O-Oh God..” Natasha whispered, her voice barely more than a strangled breath. Her hand squeezed yours so tight she feared she’d break something.

“Dammit, we need to get her stabilized.” the medic barked, his voice now laced with something that sounded far too much like fear. “Get the stretcher over here, now!”

Your head was already turning, your glassy eyes trying to make sense of the panic around you.

“W-What’s… going on?” you slurred, your gaze starting to drop downward, toward the carnage of your own leg.

“Hey, hey.” Natasha’s voice was sharp, her free hand reaching to cup your face, gently turning your head back to meet her eyes. “Look at me. Just look at me, okay? Everything’s fine.”

“But…my foot…” your brows furrowed, your voice fractured by pain and confusion.

“It’s fine.” Natasha lied, her own voice shaking. “You’re going to be fine. Just keep your eyes on me. Don’t look down.”

The stretcher arrived, more hands pressing around you, securing your neck, your broken leg. Natasha hated the way they moved you, the way your face twisted in agony, the little gasps of pain you couldn’t quite suppress.

But even through the horror, your fingers clung to hers, your grip as tight as you could manage.

“N-Nat…?”

“I’m here.” Natasha’s voice was firm now, as solid as steel. “I’m not leaving you. Not for a second.”

They loaded you onto the stretcher, the medics shouting orders Natasha barely registered. Everything was a blur, but her gaze never left your face.

“Talk to her.” one of the medics said to Natasha, his tone harsh with urgency. “Keep her awake. We can’t risk her passing out before we assess the damage.”

“Y/n, sweetheart, listen to me.” Natasha said, her own panic buried deep beneath the surface of her voice. “You’re going to be okay. You’re too damn stubborn not to be, right?”

You tried to laugh, but it came out more like a shuddering gasp. “Y-Yeah…stubborn…that’s me…”

“Damn right.” Natasha’s thumb traced over your knuckles, her own hands slick with blood. “You’re not leaving me, you hear me? You’re staying right here with me.”

“’M not… leaving…” your words were fading, your eyelids drooping as shock and pain clawed away at your consciousness.

Natasha felt her own breathing hitch, her voice breaking. “Good. That’s good..”

As the medics lifted the stretcher and began moving it toward the waiting ambulance, Natasha followed, her hand locked around yours like a lifeline.

Minutes later, the ambulance tore through the streets like it was chasing time itself, sirens wailing into the sky, the city blurring into light and sound. Inside, Natasha sat wedged against the wall, one hand gripping the steel bar, the other never leaving yours.

Your eyes fluttered, trying and failing to stay open. Your skin had gone an ashen shade beneath the streaks of blood, your chest rising and falling in shallow, unsteady rhythm. Every time the medic adjusted your leg, you whimpered, barely a sound, but one that carved itself deep into Natasha’s chest like a knife.

“You’re okay.” Natasha whispered over and over, her voice cracking around the edges. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

The moment they reached the emergency bay, the ambulance doors burst open. Lights flooded in, followed by the blur of movement , gurney wheels on concrete, shouting voices, cold air rushing through the gap before the building swallowed them whole.

“Female, 23, compound fracture to the right foot, deep laceration above the right eye, suspected concussion.” the paramedic rattled off as they passed the threshold of the hospital.

A woman stepped forward, tall, composed, sharp eyes framed by silvering curls tucked behind her ears.

“Get her into Room Five-” she ordered, but the moment her eyes fell on Natasha, her entire posture shifted. Her brows lifted slightly, the recognition instant.

“Get the VIP trauma room prepped now. Clear the hallway. Tell imaging to stand by.”

Natasha stayed right at your side as the gurney wheeled through wide corridors, glass doors flying open before them like water parting.

“Vitals are unstable.” one of the medics said. “BP’s dropping.”

Inside the trauma room, the chaos turned clinical. Machines hummed to life, IVs were connected, and gloves snapped into place.

The nurse stepped up beside and leaned over you with practiced precision. “My name is Helen. I’m going to check you, okay? Can you open your eyes for me?”

You blinked slowly, your gaze unfocused. “Mhmm…”

“Good. Stay with me.” Helen reached up and shone a penlight into your eyes. “Natasha, any known allergies?”

“No. No allergies..”

Helen nodded quickly. “What’s your full name?”

Your lips moved, the sound faint. “Y/n…L/n.”

“Do you know where you are?”

“’M…I was racing…”

“She’s lucid but foggy.” Helen muttered. “Pupils are sluggish. Concussion confirmed.” She gently wiped away blood from your temple, exposing the deep gash beneath. “We’ll stitch this after scans.”

Then a second nurse moved to the foot of the bed, starting to unwrap the temporary support on your leg. The second she shifted it, you jolted violently, a strangled cry escaping your throat.

“Careful!” Natasha snapped, stepping forward, her own panic flaring. “Her foot-”

The nurse paused, her expression grim. “Confirmed compound fracture. Bone’s fully through.”

“Prep for OR.” Helen said calmly.

But that calm shattered the second the word OR hit your ears. Your chest hitched. Your eyes widened. And just like that, the panic flooded in.

“No. No-no no no!” Your voice cracked as your hands reached for anything, the rail, the blanket, Natasha. “Not surgery, not again, please don’t- don’t-”

“She’s panicking..” Helen said immediately, eyes darting to the vitals monitor. The heart rate was skyrocketing.

Natasha, cupping your face. “It’s okay! It’s just a bone, baby. Bones heal, you hear me?”

“It is-” you sobbed, your voice breaking. “It’s happening again..I’m gonna be stuck- I won’t”

“You can, and you will, you hear me?” Natasha said, forcing her voice to be stronger than the tremble in her own heart. “It’s not your spine. It’s not your nerves. It’s one damn bone..”

You were trembling, head jerking side to side as if trying to run from the memory crawling up from your past.

“She has trauma from her last crash..” Natasha said, looking up at Helen. Helen’s jaw clenched, then her expression shifted. “Alright. I’ve got her.” She turned to the nurse by your feet. “Touch her toes.”

The nurse blinked. “What?”

“Touch her toes.” Helen repeated. “Y/n?” She turned back to you, voice soft now. “Can you feel this?”

The nurse pressed gently along the top of your foot, just above the exposed break.

You gasped but nodded. “Y-Yeah…I feel it..”

Helen leaned in, voice low and firm. “That means your nerves are fine. You’re not paralyzed. Your body’s okay. The surgery is to fix something fixable. We are not going to let this become what it was last time.”

Natasha watched as the words landed, saw the slow, shaky exhale leave your lungs. Your hand, still clinging to Natasha’s, loosened just slightly.

Helen stood, her eyes flicking over the vitals. The panic was still too high, pulse, blood pressure, breathing all elevated. Too dangerous for surgery in that state. She turned to Natasha quietly.

“She’s too wound up to go in like this.” Helen said under her breath. “We’re putting her under now. I’ll make the call.”

She gave a small nod to a nearby nurse, a younger man already prepping the IV line. He moved with practiced hands, drawing a small vial from his tray and inserting it into the port.

“It’s going to hit fast.” Helen said. Natasha knelt beside you again, brushing damp hair away from your pale forehead. “Hey, baby. They’re going to give you something to help you sleep now, okay? Just sleep. That’s all.”

You blinked slowly, tears still welling in your lashes. “You’ll be there…when I wake up?”

“I’ll be the first face you see.” Natasha whispered, kissing your temple. “I swear to you. I’m not going anywhere.”

The nurse pushed the medication in, and within seconds, your body began to still. Your breathing evened out slightly, your trembling stopped. Your eyes fluttered. “I love you…” you murmured, barely audible.

Natasha’s throat closed up. “I love you more.”

And then your eyes slipped shut. The panic was gone. Replaced by a terrifying, aching silence. Helen gave Natasha a nod. “You did good. Now let us take care of her.”

The stretcher rolled out, the surgical team falling into step. Natasha followed them to the doors of the OR, only stopping when Helen placed a firm hand on her arm.

“She’s in good hands now.” she said gently. “But you need to breathe. Sit. And wait. And when she wakes up, she’s going to need you.”

Natasha stood frozen as the doors swung closed. The surgical wing was too quiet. Too white. Too sterile. Too full of time that refused to move.

Natasha sat down on a hospital bench just outside the OR, elbows on her knees, fingers tangled in her hair. The double doors to the OR stayed shut, a glowing IN USE light above them. Mocking her.

She had tried to sit still. To breathe. But her leg was bouncing uncontrollably, and every minute that ticked by felt like someone carving another line into her spine. The guilt was crawling up her throat like bile. I promised her I’d protect her. She trusted me with everything.

“Natasha.”

She flinched, eyes snapping up. Yelena stood in front of her, pale and tight-jawed, still in her coat like she’d run straight from her apartment the moment she heard.

“You okay?” Yelena asked softly.

Natasha scoffed, a bitter sound. “She’s in there with a fucking broken foot and a head wound, and you’re asking me if I’m okay?”

Yelena didn’t respond immediately. She just sat down beside her, shoulder brushing Natasha’s, grounding her like an anchor in a storm. Natasha swallowed hard. “It’s my fault.”

“No.” Yelena said firmly. “No, it’s not.”

“I put her back in the car! After everything she went through. After that crash. After her body was wrecked the first time. I pushed her. Because I missed the racer in her.” Her voice cracked. “Because I wanted to win..”

Yelena looked at her, eyes narrowed. “You didn’t force her to drive, Natasha. You believed in her when no one else did. That’s why she came back.”

Natasha looked away, lips pressed into a line. “And now she’s bleeding in an OR again. Screaming. Panicking. Because all I ever do is bring her back to the pain.”

There was a pause. Then Yelena sighed and dug into her coat pocket.

“I wasn’t gonna tell you yet..” she muttered, pulling out her phone. “But…they’re waiting for news. I called them.”

Natasha blinked. “Who?”

Yelena’s lips pressed together. “Her parents. They’re on the line.”

Silence. It was a full second before the weight of the words hit her like a wrecking ball. Natasha’s body went stiff. Her fingers curled in her lap. Her breath froze in her lungs.

Your parents.

“Oh god..” she whispered. “Yelena, what the hell am I supposed to say to them?”

Yelena’s voice softened. “You tell them the truth.”

“No. I- I can’t! I told them I’d keep her safe. I promised them..” Natasha’s voice cracked, her hands shaking again. “They trusted me. After the last time? They didn’t even want her back on the track. I had to fight for her, with them. And now she’s in a damn OR again and I—”

“Natasha.” Yelena turned to her, firm now. “They’re scared out of their minds. They need to hear from the one person Y/n trusts most.”

Natasha looked at the phone in Yelena’s hand like it was a bomb.

“She’s their daughter.”

“And she’s your everything.” Yelena said quietly. “So breathe. And talk to them.”

Natasha reached out with a trembling hand and took the phone. “Hi. This is… this is Natasha.” Her voice was hoarse.

There was a pause on the other end, and then a voice. Soft. Tight with worry. Your mother.

“Where is she? Is she okay? What happened? Natasha, w-what happened to our daughter? P-Please don’t say-”

Natasha’s throat closed up. Her free hand gripped the edge of the bench like she needed to hold on to reality. She tried to answer, but nothing came out at first. Not a word.

Then finally, broken and quiet, she whispered:

“I’m so sorry.”

Natasha’s hand shook as she held the phone to her ear, her voice cracking with every word.

“Yes. She’s in surgery..”

Pause. Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes. A broken foot. And a concussion.”

Her gaze kept flicking toward the double doors of the OR, her eyes raw and burning from the unrelenting tears she refused to fully shed. The sterile lights above buzzed with cold indifference.

“She’s alive. The doctors..They’re doing everything they can.”

Her fingers clenched tighter around the phone, knuckles white.

“I-I’ll call you back when I know more, okay? I promise.” She clicked off, the phone slipping from her grip and landing heavily on the floor.

Yelena bent down, picking it up, her own expression unreadable. “I’ll let them know when she’s awake.”

“Thanks..”Natasha rasped. Her voice was shredded, hollow. Her entire body trembled with the effort of holding herself together.

Minutes turned to hours. The cold, merciless kind of waiting where every passing second felt like a punishment. Natasha’s mind kept churning over every horrific possibility. What if the concussion was worse than they thought? What if her leg was so damaged she could never drive again? What if she woke up and decided Natasha had pushed her too far this time? What if she never woke up?

The doors finally swung open with a soft whoosh. Natasha shot to her feet so fast her vision spun. A doctor stepped out, flanked by Helen. Both of them wore weary but steady expressions. Natasha’s stomach twisted. Her nails dug into her palms.

“Miss Romanoff?” the doctor began. His voice was calm, measured. She hated how clinical he sounded.

“Yes. I’m-” Her voice cracked, too sharp, too desperate. “Is she…is she okay?”

“The surgery went smoothly.” the doctor continued. “The bone was successfully reset and secured. The nerve function in her leg is undamaged, which means with proper rest and rehab, she will make a full recovery.”

The words crashed over Natasha like a tidal wave. A violent rush of relief so strong her legs nearly gave out beneath her.

“S-She’s okay?” Natasha breathed, her voice trembling.

“She’s stable.” the doctor confirmed, his gaze sympathetic now. “We’re moving her to recovery. She’ll be groggy when she wakes up, but she’s going to be fine.”

The tears Natasha had been holding back finally broke free, spilling down her cheeks unchecked. Her shoulders shook, her breathing turning into something ragged and uncontrollable.

“Thank you. Oh God, thank you…” Her hands flew to her face, trying and failing to hide the ugly sob that tore its way out of her throat.

Helen reached out and squeezed Natasha’s shoulder. “We’ll make sure no one bothers her while she recovers. I’ve already spoken to security. No paparazzi, no press. And if anyone tries, they’ll have to get through me.”

A wet, broken laugh slipped from Natasha’s lips. “Thank you. You don’t know…you don’t know how much this means.”

Helen’s smile was brief but genuine. “They’ll be bringing her out in a few minutes. She’s going to need rest, but you can be there when she wakes up.”

Natasha’s shoulders sagged with exhaustion. But beneath it, there was hope. Raw and fragile, but alive. She glanced over at Yelena, who had been standing just outside the doctor’s conversation, arms folded tightly across her chest. Their eyes met, and Yelena gave a short nod.

“See? She’s tough as hell.” Yelena said, her voice rough with emotion she wasn’t about to admit. “Just like you.”

Natasha didn’t have words. She just nodded.

When Helen patted her shoulder one last time and turned to leave, Natasha couldn’t help herself. She reached out and threw her arms around the nurse.

Helen stiffened, caught off guard, but only for a moment. Then her arms wrapped around Natasha, gentle and reassuring.

“She’s going to be fine.” Helen whispered, her voice low and steady. “And so are you.”

Natasha pulled back, wiping furiously at her eyes. “I just…thank you. Thank you for everything.”

The walls were a soft cream, the blinds drawn to shield from the press of evening light. The private VIP suite was spacious, silent, and most importantly: protected. No noise. No reporters. No cameras.

Just Natasha.

She sat in the chair beside the bed, elbows resting on her knees, fingers curled into her palms. Her heart still hadn’t stopped racing. The image of you, limp and bloodied on that stretcher, still looped in her mind like a cruel replay she couldn’t turn off.

Now, you lay before her. Wrapped in white hospital blankets, hooked up to monitors, your head gently bandaged. Your leg was elevated and braced in a temporary cast.

But you were breathing.

Natasha didn’t take her eyes off you for a second. A soft beep from the monitor spiked, just slightly. And then a subtle twitch in your fingers.

Natasha shot up from the chair, her heart lurching. “Y/n?” she whispered, stepping closer.

Another twitch, your head shifted faintly, your lips parting as your brows drew together in faint discomfort.

“Hey..” Natasha said softly, her fingers brushing your hand. Your eyes blinked open, slow, uneven. Cloudy from anesthesia. Your gaze was unfocused at first, drifting past Natasha like you weren’t really seeing her.

“Where…?” Your voice was raspy, so soft it was almost inaudible.

“You’re in the hospital..” Natasha murmured, her thumb stroking gently across the back of your hand. “You were in a crash. But you’re okay. You’re out of surgery. You’re safe now.”

You blinked again, your pupils beginning to center, focus returning in slow, heavy waves. You winced, your free hand moving slightly toward your head.

“Easy.” Natasha said quickly, gently taking your wrist. “You’ve got a concussion, and a cut above your eye. But you’re stable. They stitched you up.”

You blinked, your breathing beginning to pick up as awareness started setting in. “My leg…”

“It’s just broken.” Natasha said softly. “But the bone’s set. They fixed it in surgery. The nerves are intact, full feeling. You’re going to walk. Drive. Everything.”

There was a beat of silence, and then your eyes finally locked onto hers , really saw her. And the tears welled almost instantly.

Your fingers tightened weakly around hers. “You didn’t leave..”

“Never.” Natasha breathed. “I held your hand through the whole thing. And I’ll be right here for every step of what’s next.”

You let out a shaky breath, your eyes beginning to close again. “You’re warm…”

Natasha smiled gently, brushing the hair back from your bandaged brow. “That’s the morphine talking, baby..”

A small, dopey grin formed on your lips. “Good… I don’t wanna feel anything right now.”

“You don’t have to.” Natasha murmured. “You just sleep. I’ve got you.”

You blinked once more, and then slipped back into sleep, but this time, it was peaceful.

Natasha sat back down, still holding your hand. She wouldn’t be letting go anytime soon.

The early morning sunlight seeped through the blinds, a soft glow painting the hospital room in warm hues. It was quiet. Peaceful. Almost enough to trick Natasha into believing the nightmare was over.

Almost.

She hadn’t slept. Not really. She’d spent the night in the uncomfortable plastic chair beside your bed, her legs curled up, one hand still clutching yours like a lifeline. Every time you so much as twitched, Natasha’s eyes would snap open, her pulse spiking until the monitor’s steady beeping reassured her you were still okay.

But now, in the calm glow of morning, your eyes fluttered open again. Slowly. Blinking groggily against the light.

“Nat…?” Your voice was raspy, hoarse from disuse and the effects of anesthesia.

Natasha sat up straight, fingers lacing through yours. “I’m here.”

Your gaze slowly focused, your lips twitching into a weak, lopsided smile. “Still here…”

“Always.” Natasha said softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck..” Your brow furrowed, your hand drifting toward the bandage on your forehead. “My head feels… foggy.”

“You had a concussion.” Natasha explained, her thumb tracing calming circles on your palm. “You might feel a little fuzzy for a while.”

You nodded, your gaze sliding down the length of your body until it landed on your elevated leg. The bulky cast was awkward and ugly, but Natasha had never been so relieved to see something so damn unappealing.

“Leg’s broken?” you asked, your voice too casual, like you were trying to make the truth sound less real.

“Yeah.” Natasha’s voice was gentle. “Clean break, though. They fixed it up good. The nerves are fine. You’ll be walking in no time.”

You swallowed, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly. “So…not like last time?”

“Not like last time.” Natasha reassured, her voice steady and strong. “This one’s just a bone. It’ll heal.”

Your eyes glossed over with relief, the shaky exhale escaping your lips almost like a sob. “I really thought…I thought it was all happening again.”

Natasha’s chest tightened. “I know. And you pushed through it. You’re…You’re so damn brave.”

Your fingers tightened around hers. “I was a mess. Crying, panicking…that’s not brave..”

“Want me to argue?” Natasha’s voice cracked with a teary smile. “Because I will. And I’ll win.”

A half-laugh, half-sob slipped from your lips. “God, you’re stubborn.”

“And you love me for it.”

“Yeah. I do.”

Their fingers stayed entwined, the silence between them comfortable for a few precious moments. Natasha watched the way your breathing evened out, your expression softening into something like peace.

But before she could fully relax, the door creaked open. Natasha’s head snapped up, eyes blazing with protective wariness.

Yelena stepped in, her expression neutral but her eyes sharp as always. But she wasn’t alone.

Behind her were two familiar faces. Your parents. Natasha’s stomach clenched, guilt and terror slicing through her chest like a knife. But their eyes weren’t on her. They were on you.

“Y/n?” your mother’s voice cracked, the sound ragged with emotion.

Your eyes widened. “Mom? Dad?”

And then the tears came. From all of you. Natasha started to pull back, to give them space, but your hand tightened around hers, refusing to let her go.

But her gaze drifted to your parents, waiting for them to tell her off. To say this was her fault. That she’d broken you all over again. But instead, your mother walked over, reached out, and hugged Natasha. “Thank you…for being here for her.”

Natasha nearly collapsed from the sheer relief that tore through her. She glanced at Yelena, who gave her a subtle nod of approval. And somehow, that made the world seem just a little bit safer.

Your parents stayed for a while, their voices a soft blur of relief and love as they hugged you, whispered words of comfort, made promises of being there every step of your recovery. Natasha mostly stayed quiet, her fingers still wrapped around yours, never letting go.

Eventually, they slipped out for a much-needed break, some coffee, air, anything to relieve the ache of hours spent in panic. Yelena went with them, promising Natasha a few minutes alone with you.

Now, the room was quiet again. And your eyes found Natasha’s, searching for something unspoken.

“Everyone’s okay, right?” you asked, your voice still rough but stronger now. “The other drivers? From the crash?”

Natasha hesitated for a split second. “Yeah. Everyone made it out. Some got pretty banged up, broken ribs, concussions. But no deaths. They’re all alive.”

You let out a slow, shaky breath. “Thank God. That crash was…”

“Horrific.” Natasha finished for you, her gaze dropping to your hand in hers. “I saw it happen on the monitors. It was like…like a nightmare.”

“It was..” you admitted, your expression darkening. “Everything just…closed in. There was nowhere to go. Just metal and fire.”

Natasha’s thumb traced over your knuckles. “And you still fought your way out. You’re stronger than you think.”

“Not strong enough to keep my cool.” You laughed bitterly, your gaze slipping away. “I was a total wreck. If you hadn’t been there to talk me down, I don’t think I would’ve—”

“Stop.” Natasha’s voice was firm, cutting through the doubt like a knife. “You did everything right. You survived. You held on. And you’re here. That’s all that matters.”

Your eyes softened. “And you’re here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

A soft knock on the door pulled their attention. It swung open to reveal Helen, clipboard in hand, her expression calm but focused.

“Mind if I do a quick check-up?” Helen asked, her voice gentle. “I just need to make sure everything’s looking good.”

“Yeah, sure..” you mumbled, offering a weak smile.

Helen stepped in, eyes flicking between you and Natasha with that same warm but professional gaze. “Nice to see you looking a little less like roadkill.”

“That’s a real compliment right there..” you replied with a ghost of a grin.

“Hey, in here? That’s high praise.” Helen approached the bed, her eyes scanning the monitors before she leaned over to inspect the bandage on your forehead. “How’s your head feeling? Any dizziness? Nausea?”

“Uh…a little dizzy, but nothing terrible. Just… fuzzy.”

“That’s expected.” Helen said, her fingers carefully pressing around the bandage, checking for swelling. “The cut’s clean and stitched up well. We’ll keep an eye on the concussion, but I think you’re already doing better than most would.”

You managed a wry smile. “I guess I’m not most.”

Helen’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “No, you’re definitely not.”

She continued her examination, clicking her pen against her clipboard before moving toward your elevated leg. Her fingers traced gently along the edges of the cast, checking the exposed skin for circulation.

“Any pain? Tingling? Numbness?” Helen asked, all business now.

“Pain, yeah..” you admitted, your fingers twitching against Natasha’s hand. “But no tingling. I can…I can feel everything. Well, as much as you’d expect, I guess.”

“That’s excellent.” Helen nodded, glancing at the monitors again. “The break was nasty, but they did a damn good job putting you back together. You’ll be out of here sooner than you think.”

Your shoulders relaxed visibly. Natasha felt the tension drain out of her too, her chest loosening with every word Helen spoke.

“So…I’m not gonna be stuck in a bed for months again?” your voice was small, laced with a vulnerability that made Natasha’s heart twist.

Helen’s gaze softened. “No. You’re not. You’re going to heal. And once you’ve done the proper rehab, you’ll be walking again. Racing again, if that’s what you want.”

Your eyes flickered to Natasha’s, an unspoken question hanging between you. Natasha nodded, her grip tightening. “You’ve got this. And I’ll be there every step of the way.”

Helen straightened, tapping her clipboard lightly. “I’ll come back in a few hours for another check. Just get some rest and, for God’s sake, take it easy.”

You smirked, though your eyes still brimmed with exhaustion. “Yes, ma’am.”

Helen headed for the door but paused, looking back at Natasha. “And you. You should rest, too. You look worse than your patient.”

Natasha managed a shaky smile. “Not leaving her.”

“I figured.” Helen said, her own smile gentle. “But the offer stands.” With that, she disappeared down the hallway, leaving you and Natasha alone once more.

Hours later, Natasha’s legs felt heavier than concrete as she wandered through the hospital corridors. The bright lights, sterile air, and endless sea of white walls were all starting to blur together. But she needed to do something other than just sit by your bed and replay every horrific second of the crash over and over.

So she’d gone to fetch food. Something decent, not the bland garbage most hospitals served. Because you deserved better. Always.

The cafeteria was practically empty, just a few staff members drifting like ghosts through the aisles. Natasha grabbed a couple of pre-packaged sandwiches, bottled water, and fruit cups. Nothing glamorous, but it would do.

The walk back to your room was shorter than she expected, but when she turned the corner to the private suite, she stopped dead in her tracks.

Two interns were standing just outside the door, talking in low, excited voices. “Holy shit. That’s really her. Y/n. The Y/n.” The first one whispered, his voice barely restrained from outright squealing.

“I know, right?” The second intern shook her head, eyes practically sparkling. “She’s, like, legendary. After that last accident years ago? And then her comeback? It’s insane. And now she survived this? She’s got to be superhuman or something.”

“I would kill for a chance to talk to her. Even just an autograph.”

“Forget an autograph. Just seeing her — that’s like…damn. It’s like meeting a god.”

Natasha’s jaw tightened. Her eyes narrowed, gaze locking onto the interns like a hawk zeroing in on prey. She took a slow, deliberate step forward.

The interns saw her. And the joy drained from their faces like someone had flicked a switch.

“OO-h..” the male intern whispered, his eyes widening in terror. “That’s Natasha Romanoff…”

“No freaking way…” the girl muttered, her voice trembling.

Natasha’s eyes burned as she approached them. The sandwiches and drinks felt like dead weight in her hands. She didn’t say a word. Didn’t need to. The look on her face was enough.

The interns immediately stammered out awkward apologies and practically sprinted down the hallway. Natasha’s gaze followed them until they disappeared around the corner. Only then did she let herself breathe.

She hated it. How the vultures were already circling. How they saw your pain as some kind of heroic legend instead of a goddamn near-death experience. How they would never understand what it was actually like.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open and stepped into the quiet safety of your room.

Your eyes were half-closed, but the second the door creaked, you blinked awake. And the lazy, knowing smile that spread across your lips nearly undid Natasha entirely.

“What’s got your murder face on?” you murmured, your voice a touch stronger now.

Natasha grumbled something incoherent and kicked the door shut behind her, the metal click a satisfying note of finality. “Just some idiots loitering around like they think this is some kind of theme park.”

“Fans?” you asked, smirking even as your eyelids drooped.

“Interns. But yeah, pretty much.” Natasha muttered, striding over to the bed and placing the plastic tray of food on the bed table. “I swear, they’ve got no boundaries. And if anyone else hovers near your door, I’m personally throwing them out the goddamn window.”

Your grin widened. “I love it when you get all protective. Makes me feel special..”

“Because you are special.” Natasha’s voice softened, and the tension in her shoulders finally eased. “And you’re still not eating this crap alone. I’m not getting scolded by you for making you eat hospital food again.”

“Oh nooo, can’t have that..” you joked, but your eyes shone with warmth.

Natasha slid the table closer to the bed, opening one of the sandwiches before nudging the fruit cup toward you. “Eat. And drink this water. No arguments.”

“Bossy.” you mumbled, but your fingers reached for the cup obediently.

Natasha’s gaze remained locked on you, tracing every detail of your face. The way your eyes still fluttered with fatigue, the way your lips twitched as you fought through the pain. It hurt to watch. But it was better than not seeing you at all.

Once she was convinced you had eaten at least a few bites of the food, Natasha leaned forward and gently tugged the sheets, sliding you slightly over on the mattress.

“What…what’re you doing?” you asked, your brows furrowing in confusion.

“Making room.” Natasha replied bluntly.

She kicked off her shoes, climbed onto the bed beside you, and settled herself down against the pillows. One arm curled protectively around your shoulders, pulling you gently against her own chest.

“You don’t have to-” you started.

“Shut up.” Natasha’s voice was soft, but the underlying force of it silenced you immediately. “You’re not getting rid of me. I’m staying right here. Whether you like it or not.”

You chuckled weakly. “Guess I don’t really have a choice, huh?”

“Nope.”

The warmth of your body against her own was more comforting than Natasha could have imagined. She felt the weight of exhaustion settle over her like a heavy blanket, tugging at her limbs and mind with quiet insistence.

“Nat?”

“Hm?” Natasha’s voice was already thick with sleep, her fingers gently stroking your arm.

“You’re the best.”

The only answer was a soft, barely audible snore. You smiled, your head nestled against Natasha’s shoulder, your own body easing into the kind of rest you hadn’t felt since the crash.

They were okay. Somehow, against all the odds, they were okay.

-

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[ivyasproperty]

Redline. (Bonus 2) | N.R

Older!Motorsportboss!Natasha × Younger Racing!Driver!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N= 32, r=23), Fluff, Fluff, Fluff, 18+! MINORS DNI! Thigh riding, begging, multiple orgasm, oral (N and R receiving)

Word count: 8,1k

A/N: Here we are again!! Here, we focused more on Natasha. This isn’t everything I have in mind because it would probably explode Tumblr’s word limit. And once again, this is filled with a lot of requests! Thank you all for keeping the series alive. <3

The rumble of engines thrummed against Natasha’s chest like a comforting rhythm. Outside the control room, your car carved through the track, tires biting into the asphalt with a grace Natasha could only describe as beautiful. It was pure instinct fused with practice, the kind of skill that couldn’t be taught, only sharpened.

“Uh, boss. She’s…She’s got her music on again. Radio’s not gonna work.” Someone said cautiously, not quite meeting her gaze.

Natasha’s fingers paused over the radio switch, a smirk pulling at her lips. She didn’t snap or scold him for pointing out something she was already well aware of. “I know.” Her voice was calm, the words deliberate.

She’d tried before, many times, to convince you to ditch the habit. Music while driving? A distraction, a dangerous one, especially on her track. But then Natasha saw how you moved when the music was on. Saw how your shoulders relaxed, how your steering smoothed out. How your eyes gleamed with that familiar spark of determination mixed with reckless joy.

It was frustrating at first. Maybe even a little insulting that you ignored her safety advice for something so…unprofessional. But Natasha had come to understand it. More than that, she respected it. Even if she’d never outright say it.

Her pen scratched softly against the notepad, notes forming in neat, clinical handwriting. Adjust braking patterns. Smoother transition into turn eight. Minor correction on corner five. And yet, her eyes kept drifting to the live feed of your car. The way it sliced through the track like it was a natural extension of your body. Wild. Precise. Almost hypnotic.

The music had become part of your ritual. Natasha didn’t know what song was blasting in your ears, but she’d caught glimpses of your playlists before. Everything from classic rock to synthwave. The music wasn’t just noise. It was your heartbeat. Your pulse. So, Natasha had stopped fighting it. She’d even found herself curious, more often than not, about what you were listening to. What melody accompanied your fierce concentration and artful control.

Even now, Natasha’s hand hovered over the radio, a pointless gesture. Habit, more than anything. It made her feel like she was still part of the process. Even if you couldn’t hear her, Natasha’s gaze followed your every move, eyes narrowing whenever she detected the slightest flaw. She wrote down pointers, things to work on. But nothing about the music. Never about the music. Not anymore.

You guided the car into the garage. Your adrenaline was still high, heartbeat synced to the last few beats of your music. You let out a satisfied breath, fingers loosening around the steering wheel. The moment you unbuckled and started to climb out, a hand reached around you and plucked one of the earbuds from your ear.

“Still distracting yourself, I see.” Natasha’s voice was low, even, but there was a hint of exasperation underneath. You startled, not expecting Natasha to be there, your face a mix of amusement and irritation. “Nat! You scared the crap out of me!”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, ignoring the flustered tone. “I’ve told you before. The music is a distraction. You could miss something critical. A sound, a warning. And then what?”

You chuckled, rubbing the back of your neck. “You know me. It helps me focus. Just…makes the world feel smaller when I’m out there. Nothing but me and the car.”

“I know.” Natasha admitted, her gaze softening despite her words. “But it’s still a bad habit. One that could get you hurt.”

You tilted your head, your lips curving into that playful smile Natasha couldn’t stay mad at. “And yet, you’re not exactly telling me to stop.”

Natasha’s jaw tightened for a moment before she sighed. “Because you’re good at what you do. But just because it works now doesn’t mean it’s perfect. And I can’t always be around to make sure you’re okay.”

There. That hint of worry she tried so hard to hide under professionalism. Your gaze softened. “But you’re here now. And I’ll be fine.”

Natasha’s lips twitched. “Let’s go over your run. And next time, maybe consider turning the music down just a little?”

“Maybe..” you replied, your grin returning. “If you ask nicely.”

You leaned in, pressing your lips against Natasha’s, feeling the warmth and tension melt away for just a second, until Natasha pulled back, scrunching her nose with exaggerated disgust. “You stink.”

You blinked, a little stunned. “What?”

“Like sweat, motor oil, and whatever bad decision you made for lunch.” Natasha folded her arms, smirking. “Go shower before you try that again.”

You chuckled, your eyes gleaming with amusement. “You could always join me, you know?”

“Tempting.” Natasha admitted, her voice dropping slightly, “But some of us actually have work to do.”

You pouted but found yourself smiling at the genuine warmth that slipped through Natasha’s cool professionalism. “Fine, fine. But don’t miss me too much, okay?”

“Just go, before I change my mind and lock you out of the track.”

The hot shower did wonders for your sore muscles, washing away sweat, grime, and the lingering adrenaline from the track. After drying off, you slipped into a clean shirt and some comfortable sweatpants. Fresh, relaxed, and still grinning from your earlier exchange with Natasha, you made your way to Natasha’s office.

Just outside the door, Natasha’s secretary, Emma, looked up from her computer and frowned. “Y/n, I wouldn’t! She’s…well, she’s in one of her moods.”

You chuckled, unbothered. “When isn’t she?”

“I’m serious.” Emma pressed, her gaze worried. “She’s been on a call for some minutes. Some contract negotiations fell through, and she’s been ripping people apart..”

“Thanks for the warning, but…” You gave her a reassuring wink. “I know the drill.”

Before Emma could protest, you slipped through the door. Natasha was pacing behind her desk, phone pressed to her ear, eyes blazing with frustration. Her words were sharp, precise, the kind of tone that could make anyone on the other end of the call shrink in terror.

But when Natasha’s gaze landed on you, the smallest flicker of relief washed over her features. Her shoulders eased, but her expression remained tense as she continued her conversation, barely acknowledging your presence.

You leaned against the wall, waiting patiently. You’d learned by now that there was no point trying to speak when Natasha was in business mode. Instead, you just studied her. Noticed the tiredness etched into her features, the stiffness in her posture.

The call finally ended with Natasha’s usual clipped goodbye, her phone clattering against the desk as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Idiots. The lot of them.” Natasha muttered.

“Hey..” you said softly, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around Natasha’s shoulders from behind. Your warmth pressed against Natasha’s back, “You’re working yourself into the ground again.”

Natasha sighed, her head tilting slightly toward your touch, but she didn’t pull away. “It’s called doing my job.” she replied, the snap in her voice dulled by exhaustion.

“And you’re doing too much. Way too much.” Your voice was a soothing murmur. “You need to take care of yourself. The world won’t fall apart if you take a break, you know.”

Natasha huffed, her fingers grazing your arm as if trying to keep you there. “Feels like it might.”

“Yeah, well, that’s just because you’re so used to fixing everyone’s messes. But even you need a breather.”

Natasha closed her eyes, leaning back into your warmth. She didn’t say anything for a long moment. Just let herself exist in the quiet, inhaling the faint scent of shampoo still clinging to your skin.

“I’m serious, Nat. You’ve got me here, okay? Let me take care of you for once.”

Another beat of silence. Then, finally, Natasha’s shoulders relaxed. “You know, if you keep talking to me like that, I might start getting used to it.”

“Good. Because I’m not planning to sto-”

The shrill ring of Natasha’s phone cut through the calm like a knife. Natasha groaned, her hand twitching towards the receiver, her fingers already itching to strangle whoever dared to interrupt her moment of peace. But before she could react, you reached over and snatched the phone from its cradle, pressing it to your ear with a casualness that bordered on infuriating.

“What the hell are you doing?” Natasha’s voice was sharp, but you just shot her a smug grin.

“Hello, Natasha Romanoff’s office. She’s currently unavailable and very much not interested in whatever business disaster you’re trying to dump on her right now. Thanks. Byee.”

And just like that, you hung up, your thumb slamming down on the button with finality. Natasha’s jaw dropped, her eyes narrowing as she stared at you, torn between amusement and disbelief. “Did you seriously just-”

“Yep.” You placed the phone down like it was nothing, then made your way around the desk. “Because you need a break, remember? And honestly, I don’t think you care all that much about whoever was on the other end.”

“Whether I care or not is irrelevant. You just…took my call.” Natasha’s eyes glinted with something unreadable. “You’re either really brave or really stupid.”

“Or maybe I’m just good at prioritizing your sanity over unnecessary stress.”

Before Natasha could argue further, you slipped into her lap, straddling her thighs and cupping her face. Natasha’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing in mock irritation.

“You’re impossible.” Natasha murmured, but her hands instinctively found their way to your waist.

“And yet, you still love me.” you replied, leaning in to press your lips against Natasha’s, slow and gentle.

Natasha’s resolve crumbled, her fingers tightening around your hips as she melted into the kiss. The stress, the frustration, the endless noise of business and responsibility…all of it faded under the warmth of your touch.

“Alright, fine..” Natasha whispered against your lips, voice laced with reluctant amusement. “You win. But only this once.”

“Oh, I plan to win way more than just once.” you quipped before kissing her again. The kiss deepened, Natasha’s grip tightening, her mouth moving against yours in a way that made your entire body feel like it was humming. But then..

The door swung open, and both of you froze. “Well, this is an interesting way to spend a workday.” Melina’s voice cut through the charged air like a whip.

Natasha jerked back, her eyes wide, cheeks flushed. You had never seen your girlfriend look so caught off guard. The always-calm, always-composed Natasha Romanoff looked like she’d just been doused with ice water.

“Mother. I- What are you doing here?” Natasha’s voice was tight, her posture suddenly ramrod straight.

“I thought I’d drop by. Business meeting in town.” Melina’s eyes flicked to you, still very much perched on Natasha’s lap. “But clearly, you two are…occupied.”

“Can you give us a minute?” Natasha said, her tone clipped but her gaze pleading.

“Of course, darling.” Melina’s smile was almost too innocent. “But don’t take too long. I would hate to miss out on the rest of the show.”

And with that, she strolled out, shutting the door with a little too much force to be accidental. You burst out laughing, your forehead dropping to Natasha’s shoulder. “God, I think my soul just left my body.”

Natasha’s hands were still resting on your hips, her fingers gripping just enough to betray the lingering frustration. “That woman…” Natasha muttered, eyes fixed on the door like she could will her mother to disappear. “Of course, she’d show up unannounced.”

“Maybe she missed you?” you offered with a grin, fingers tracing along Natasha’s shoulder, the warmth of your earlier kiss still lingering between you.

“More like she wants something.” Natasha sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. “She’s been pestering me about dinner since last week. I told her I was busy.”

You raised an eyebrow. “And now she’s here. Guess she’s not taking ‘no’ for an answer.”

“Clearly.” Natasha’s hands slipped from your hips to rest on your thighs, her touch still gentle despite the tension in her jaw. “I should’ve known. She’s been talking about how I’ve been ‘hiding you away’ from her ever since she figured out we were together.”

You glanced back at the door, then down at Natasha, your fingers brushing against Natasha’s jawline. “You’re really worked up about this, huh?”

“I just…” Natasha’s lips tightened before her shoulders slumped a little. “I wanted it to be perfect. Introducing you as, you know. Not just my racer. But it’s Melina. She’s like a bloodhound when she wants something.”

“Hey.” you murmured, tilting Natasha’s chin up to meet your gaze. “It’s okay. I’m not expecting perfection. I’ve already survived her first impression when I joined your team, remember? If anything, I think this time will be easier.”

“Maybe.” Natasha’s voice was quieter, but the tension in her expression was slowly melting.

“Definitely.” You kissed her again, just a gentle press of lips meant to calm. “Now, what do you say we go out there and deal with your mother before she barges in here again?”

Natasha groaned. “She would, too.”

“Exactly. So, let’s face the music.” You slid off Natasha’s lap but kept a firm hold on her hand, coaxing her to stand.

“Alright. But I swear, if she starts making comments about us..” Natasha shook her head, but there was a hint of affection beneath her grumbling.

You laughed. “She’s definitely going to. And you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

Natasha’s lips twitched, fighting back a smile. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, you’re still holding my hand.” you teased, swinging your entwined fingers lightly.

“I guess I am.” Natasha’s voice softened, the warmth returning to her eyes. “Let’s get this over with.”

You walked through the track, the cooling evening air swirling around you. Natasha’s hand was still clasped tightly in yours, but the nerves buzzing under your skin were becoming harder to ignore.

“If you had joined me in the shower earlier, you wouldn’t be heading out like this..” you said with a crooked smile, trying to lighten your own mood.

Natasha’s lips twitched, amusement briefly crossing her features. “You know I was tempted. But I had a call and…well, here we are.”

“Yeah. Here we are..” you mumbled, your gaze dropping for a moment as your nerves caught up to you. Natasha noticed instantly, her thumb rubbing slow circles against your hand. “You okay?”

“I mean, sure, if you count being a little terrified as ‘okay.’” you admitted, your voice light but your smile faltering. “It’s just…this feels different. Melina knowing we’re together. Officially.”

“She already likes you. You know that.” Natasha’s voice was steady, the cool confidence that always drew you in. “This dinner thing is just…her being her.”

“Yeah, but what if she doesn’t like me like this?” You said, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. “As…your girlfriend?”

Natasha’s expression softened, the tension from earlier easing into something far gentler. “I wouldn’t be with you if I thought she’d be a problem. And besides, you can handle her.”

You exhaled slowly, nodding. “Alright. If you say so.”

The sound of a car door opening snapped your attention forward. Melina stood beside her sleek, black Mercedes, arms folded and an amused smile already on her lips. “Get in, both of you.”

You swallowed and climbed into the backseat, your nerves flaring as Melina’s attention lingered just a moment too long. Natasha slid in beside you, her presence reassuring but still carrying that undercurrent of tension.

The car ride was quiet at first, Melina’s gaze occasionally flicking to the rearview mirror, catching your eyes before turning her attention back to the road. You could feel your heart racing, your hands fidgeting with the fabric of your pants. This felt different. More important. Because you weren’t just a driver on Natasha’s team now. You were the woman dating Natasha Romanoff. And Melina’s approval felt like a much bigger challenge to earn.

“Relax.” Natasha whispered, her hand finding your knee, her touch warm and grounding. “You’ve already won her over. Just be you.”

You managed a small, grateful smile. “Easier said than done.”

“Trust me.” Natasha replied, her voice low and sincere. “You’ve got this.”

The restaurant Melina had picked was cozy but sophisticated, with low lighting and quiet jazz humming in the background. A place that screamed exclusivity without trying too hard. Natasha was clearly unimpressed, her jaw tight as they were led to their table. You couldn’t tell if it was the ambiance or her mother’s intrusion earlier that had her in a mood. Maybe both.

The table was already set, the polished silverware gleaming under the soft, amber glow of overhead lights. Three elegant flutes of champagne stood waiting, the bubbles rising lazily in each glass.

“Seems the restaurant knows us well.” Melina commented smoothly as she took her seat, her eyes flicking between Natasha and you with that same, all-knowing smile. You reached for one of the glasses, the chill of the glass refreshing against your slightly clammy palm. But before you could even lift it to your lips, Natasha’s hand shot out and gently plucked the glass away.

“No. That’s only for the podium.” Natasha said with a smirk, her voice carrying the kind of playfulness you were slowly getting used to. The kind of protectiveness that masked itself as nonchalance.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the smile. “You’re seriously gatekeeping champagne from me now?”

“Tradition is tradition.” Natasha replied, settling the glass out of your reach with an irritatingly smug look. Melina chuckled, her amusement only adding to your embarrassment. “Don’t worry, darling. I’m sure the waiter can bring you something more to your taste.”

True to her word, Melina flagged down a server and ordered you a glass of the restaurant’s finest Wine. The smooth, amber liquid arrived quickly, poured over ice that clinked gently against the glass.

“Now..” Melina began, leaning forward with her eyes focused keenly on you. “Congratulations are in order. I heard you clinched the championship. Well-deserved, I’d say.”

“Thanks..!” you replied, a flush creeping up your neck at the praise. “Couldn’t have done it without your daughter kicking my ass in training every day.”

“An understatement.” Natasha muttered, sipping her wine with a sly smile.

“And the two of you…” Melina’s gaze darted between you. “How exactly did this happen?”

Your eyes darted to Natasha, silently pleading for her to start. But Natasha only tilted her head and lifted her glass of wine, gesturing for you to begin. Of course, she would make you do the talking.

“Well, um…” you started, your fingers tightening around your glass. The whiskey suddenly felt like liquid courage, warming you from the inside out. “I guess it was…a slow thing. I didn’t even realize it at first.”

Natasha’s eyebrow arched, amused. “That so?”

You let your thoughts drift back, the memory unfurling like an old photograph. “It was after the championship photoshoot. The one where the whole team was crammed into that little studio. And you…” You looked at Natasha, your eyes turning soft. “You looked so…powerful. All eyes on you, telling the photographer what to do, how to make the shots perfect. It was like you controlled the whole damn room. And when you finally stepped in front of the camera, there was this… ease. Like it was effortless.”

Natasha’s gaze remained on you, a flicker of surprise breaking through her cool exterior.

“And I remember just…staring. At you. At how confident and unbothered you were. And thinking..I’m done for.”

Melina’s lips quirked upward in obvious satisfaction, but she stayed quiet, watching the two of you with a curiosity that seemed to border on approval.

“But you weren’t exactly subtle either.” Natasha cut in, a glimmer of amusement coloring her voice. “I remember you practically vibrating with nerves when we had to take those team photos. Couldn’t even stand still without fidgeting.”

You flushed, the embarrassment made worse by the knowing smirk on Natasha’s face. “Okay, yeah. Because the photographer made me stand beside you. And I could barely think straight, let alone smile for the damn camera.”

“That bad, huh?” Natasha teased, but there was warmth in her tone, her eyes softening as she took in your embarrassed expression.

“Pretty bad..” you admitted with a chuckle. “But somehow, you made me feel like it was okay to be nervous. And then I figured out why.”

“So you’ve been harboring this little crush since then?” Natasha mused, leaning back in her chair with her fingers delicately circling the rim of her wine glass.

You shrugged, but your smile was honest. “Pretty much. And you’ve been dealing with me ever since.”

“More like tormenting me.” Natasha corrected, but there was something impossibly fond in her expression.

Melina, who had been watching with quiet amusement, spoke up. “Well, I have to say…the way you two interact is rather delightful. I’m almost impressed.”

“Almost?” you joked, trying to mask your nerves.

Melina’s smile was genuine. “You’ve survived my daughter’s training, her schedule, and apparently her mood swings. And yet, you’re sitting here like you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

“Can’t imagine being anywhere else.” you said, your voice a little quieter but no less certain. Melina’s eyes flickered with approval, the smile now softer. “Good. Now, may I see this infamous photo?”

You blinked. “What photo?”

“The one where Natasha apparently looked so powerful that it made you fall for her.”

“Oh.” You bit your lip, suddenly feeling stupid. “Uh, yeah. I actually have it..” You reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone, scrolling quickly through your gallery before finding the image.

You handed the phone over, the photo showing Natasha standing with that impossible confidence, arms folded, eyes locked on the camera like she owned the world. It was a little blurry, but the intensity of her expression was all that mattered.

Natasha’s eyes widened as she glanced at the screen. “You…kept that?”

You shrugged, feeling your cheeks heat up. “It’s kind of my good luck charm. I look at it when I need to feel, I don’t know…inspired.”

Melina chuckled softly, her eyes twinkling with something approving and almost fond. “Well, Natasha. Looks like you’ve managed to find someone who actually sees you. All of you.”

Natasha’s expression softened, her eyes never leaving yours. “Yeah. I guess I have.”

Dinner continued with Melina throwing occasional questions your way, her eyes keen and voice deceptively casual. But it was clear she was interested. Genuinely so. She even offered you advice on handling certain sponsors, advice Natasha tried to cut off with a sharp glare but didn’t entirely disagree with.

The teasing, the conversations, the occasional moments where Natasha’s hand found yours under the table…It all felt surprisingly warm. Comfortable. Like maybe, this whole ‘meeting the parents’ thing wasn’t so terrifying after all.

Eventually, Melina’s phone buzzed and she checked her messages with a grimace. “I hate to cut this short, but I have a meeting I can’t miss. Duty calls.”

“That’s alright!” you said, your smile a little shy but genuine. “I’m just glad we got to catch up.”

“Likewise, darling.” Melina replied, her smile too genuine to be anything but sincere. Her gaze flicked to Natasha. “Take care of her, Natasha. She’s too good for you.”

Natasha’s jaw clenched for a second before she relaxed. “Yeah. I know.”

Melina gave you one last approving look before gathering her things and heading out, leaving the two of you alone in the dimly-lit restaurant.

“She likes you.” Natasha murmured, a little stunned herself by how well the evening had gone.

“Seems like it.” you said, grinning. “She was practically rooting for us by the end of it.”

“She has an interesting way of showing approval.”

You shared a look, both of you breaking into quiet laughter. But as the laughter faded, a sense of calm settled over you. The night had gone better than either of you expected.

Natasha had already booked an Uber for your way back, her arm draped loosely over your shoulder as you walked out to the curb. The ride was quiet, the city lights flashing past the windows like lazy streaks of color. It wasn’t until you were both comfortably settled in the backseat, the hum of the car providing a soothing backdrop, that you spoke.

“So…” you began, your tone hesitant but curious. “You know how I told you about when I first fell for you. The whole photoshoot thing.”

“Yeah?” Natasha’s voice was soft, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your knee.

“I was just…wondering. When did you fall for me?”

Natasha went still for a moment, her hand pausing before resuming its slow, gentle tracing. Her gaze stayed forward, eyes unfocused as if the memory played just beyond the darkened streets.

“You were so damn stubborn.” Natasha started, her lips curving slightly. “Always talking back, always challenging me on the track. You drove me insane most days.”

“Sounds about right.” you chuckled. “But that’s not when you fell for me, is it?”

“No. It’s not.” Natasha’s eyes flicked toward you, the usual sharpness dulled by something softer. “That night after Training. You were exhausted, barely keeping your eyes open, but you were still so damn determined to get better.”

“I remember that.” You smiled, your voice lowering as the memory floated back. “I fell asleep on the couch in the break room.”

“You did. And I found you there at like…three in the morning. You were dead to the world, curled up with your phone still playing some playlist you must have put on to stay awake.”

“Sounds like me.”

“But then I saw it. Your phone screen.” Natasha’s gaze softened, the memory clearly etched into her mind. “It was a photo of me. Smiling. And you were just…holding onto it like it meant something.”

Your cheeks flushed. “You never mentioned that.”

“Because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to admit what it meant. That someone was willing to see me, care about me, in a way that had nothing to do with the racing world. You weren’t just in it for the glory. You wanted…me.”

“Natasha…” your voice was barely above a whisper. Natasha’s hand slipped from your knee to your hand, fingers lacing together. “That’s when I realized I was falling for you. And I’ve been falling ever since.”

You squeezed her hand, your chest tightening in the best possible way. “You know, you’re not so bad at this whole feelings thing.”

Natasha smiled, genuine and free. “Only for you.”

Natasha’s phone vibrated, the screen lighting up with yet another email notification. She groaned, clearly considering ignoring it before finally checking the message. You watched her, expecting Natasha to launch into work mode at any second.

Instead, Natasha’s gaze softened as she scrolled through her phone. Then, she leaned forward, her voice calm but firm as she addressed the driver. “Change of plans. Take us to my place.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Nat, you’ve got work tomorrow. Meetings, training sessions, all that important stuff.”

Natasha’s gaze shifted to you, her expression somehow both determined and gentle. “It’s just business. Nothing that can’t be pushed a day or two.”

You blinked, your mouth opening and closing for a second. “Are you serious?”

“Completely.” Natasha replied, her lips curving into a fond smile. “I’ve spent all day trying to juggle business, family, and…us. And I’d rather spend the rest of the night and tomorrow with you. Away from everything else. Just us.”

The words settled between you, soft and sincere. You felt your heart do a little flip in your chest, your hand squeezing Natasha’s just a bit tighter.

“You’re really throwing work away for me?” you asked, your voice disbelieving but warm.

“Not throwing it away.” Natasha corrected. “Just..prioritizing better. And right now, you’re my priority.”

Your cheeks flushed with happiness, your grin breaking free and unstoppable. “You’re way too good to me..”

Natasha shook her head, her eyes never leaving yours. “If anything, I’m still making up for lost time.”

The rest of the drive was silent, but it was a warm, comfortable silence. Your hands stayed clasped, and every now and then, Natasha’s thumb would trace gentle circles against your skin. It was perfect.

Days later, the garage was bustling with the usual chaos, engineers running between workstations, mechanics barking orders, and the occasional clang of metal meeting metal. But somehow, it all seemed to hush when Natasha walked in. Her presence demanded attention, her sharp gaze enough to make everyone double-check their work.

You trailed beside her, clearly enjoying the view of everyone’s attempts to impress the Boss. The engineers were quick to gather their notes, practically tripping over each other as they prepared to present the latest upgrades to your car.

“Alright, what have you got for me?” Natasha’s voice was firm, steady, her eyes fixed on the nervous-looking group.

Alex, an engineer cleared his throat, his hands shaking slightly as he adjusted his notes. “So, uh, based on your feedback, Y/n, we adjusted the weight distribution and refined the suspension. Should give you better control during high-speed cornering. Also, we reinforced the front wing for more stability.”

Natasha nodded, her gaze sharp and analyzing. “And the braking system?”

“We upgraded the hydraulic system, boosted response time by about twenty percent.” Alex continued, his voice growing steadier under Natasha’s relentless focus. “It should shave a few milliseconds off the braking reaction.”

Natasha’s nod of approval was almost imperceptible. “Good. Schedule a test run. I want telemetry by the end of the day.”

Your fingers began their playful dance along Natasha’s forearm. Soft, barely-there touches, your fingertips tracing delicate lines over Natasha’s skin. It was subtle enough that no one would notice. No one except Natasha.

Natasha’s jaw tightened for a split second, her eyes flickering downward before snapping back to the papers. “What about the suspension?” she repeated, her voice crisp, though there was a noticeable edge to it.

“Yes.” Alex continued, oblivious to the silent war happening right beside him. “We recalibrated the system to better absorb the pressure during sudden braking. The responsiveness has increased by approximately fifteen percent.”

“Good.” Natasha managed, her voice steady, though your touch was starting to feel anything but innocent. “But I want you to run simulations for all weather conditions. No point boosting control if it’s only effective on dry tracks.”

“Understood.” Alex nodded quickly, making a note on his clipboard. “We also adjusted the front wing. Reinforced it to improve stability during high-speed turns.”

While Alex spoke, your fingers slid down Natasha’s wrist and circled her knuckles, your touch light and almost soothing. Then your thumb brushed the sensitive skin just above Natasha’s pulse point, applying gentle, rhythmic pressure. Natasha’s entire body stiffened for half a second, her eyes narrowing as she fought to keep her focus. “And the braking system?”

“Hydraulic system’s been boosted. Should improve response time by twenty percent,” Alex replied, nodding along like he had no idea his boss was currently fighting a losing battle against distraction.

“Mm-hmm..” Natasha hummed, her eyes shifting to you just long enough to shoot you a pointed look. The kind of look that said, Stop it. Now. But you just smiled sweetly, your fingers now lightly squeezing Natasha’s hand before continuing their playful dance over her knuckles.

Natasha’s hand twitched, her nails pressing briefly into her palm before she forced herself to relax. “Good. Make sure to get me the telemetry results before the end of the day. I want a full comparison between the old setup and the new adjustments.”

Far away, a group are discussing the work, “Yeah, the new adjustments should give her better control on those sharper turns..” one of them, was saying. “But if you ask me, it’s all about the driver’s guts. Not the specs.”

“Maybe so..” another engineer laughed, “But you know who’s gonna have the final say. If the Boss likes it, it stays. If not…”

Someone snorted. “The Boss, huh? I think she’s mellowed out a bit. You saw her the other day with Y/n, right? Almost sweet. Which is wild, considering it’s Romanoff.”

“Guess love does that to people.”

“Yeah, makes me think maybe she’s not so terrifying after all.” The group laughed, clearly feeling safe enough to crack jokes now that Natasha wasn’t breathing down their necks. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at their bravado, even if a tiny part of you was relieved that they were easing up around Natasha.

At least, until Natasha’s voice cut through the air like a knife. “If you’re all done gossiping about my personal life, perhaps you could focus on actually doing your jobs?”

The group went dead silent, the laughter dissolving into a collective tension so thick it felt like the temperature had dropped ten degrees. Natasha’s eyes were hard, her arms folded across her chest as she stared down the group with the kind of intensity that made even the most confident man feel like a scolded child.

“Or did you all forget that I’m the one who signs your paychecks?” Natasha continued, her voice like ice. “Because if you think being friendly with her gives you a free pass to slack off, I can assure you, it doesn’t.”

“No, Boss. Sorry, Boss.” They stumbled over their words, their face pale. “We were just…talking.”

“Talking, sure.” Natasha’s gaze swept over the group with chilling precision. “But if I hear one more word about me ‘softening up’ because of my relationship, you’ll all be reassigned to parts inventory. Understood?”

A chorus of hurried “Yes, Boss” and “Absolutely” followed, everyone looking properly terrified. They scattered like ants, heads down and energy now fully directed at their work.

You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, shaking your head as you walked over to Natasha, whose expression still held that cold, steely edge.

“And you! What the hell was that?” Natasha asked, her voice low and almost dangerous.

“What?” you replied innocently, though your grin was anything but. “I was just…keeping you focused.”

“Focused?” Natasha scoffed, but her lips were twitching. “More like you were trying to completely derail me in the middle of a meeting.”

“And did I succeed?” You tilted your head, your smile growing wider.

“Barely.” Natasha’s hand shot out, catching your wrist with a grip that was both firm and possessive. “You’re playing a dangerous game, sweetheart.”

The track tests later were underway. You had already done a few laps, the new upgrades working smoothly. But as always, Natasha wanted more data. More details. More everything. And you were more than willing to keep providing…just not always in the way Natasha intended. Whenever you were talking strategy, you would lean too close. Whisper suggestions in her ear with a voice just low enough to be suggestive. When Natasha handed you a water bottle, your fingers brushed her hand just a little too deliberately.

“Your focus is slipping, Romanoff..” you teased when Natasha’s fingers trembled slightly under your touch.

“Enough teasing, detka. You know what will happen if you continue pushing my buttons.” Natasha threatened, though the slight blush on her cheeks betrayed her usual control. You just laughed, your playful energy never dimming.

By the end of the day, the team was packing up. Natasha’s office was quiet, the soft hum of the building’s power the only background noise as Natasha finished her reports. But you were there, leaning against her desk, fingers tracing over Natasha’s arm in those infuriatingly light patterns you’d been taunting her with all day.

Natasha’s hand finally slammed down on her desk, her eyes blazing as they met yours. “You’ve been driving me insane all day, detka.”

“That was the plan..” you replied, your smile triumphant. “Is it working?”

“Oh, it’s working.” Natasha’s voice was low, dangerous, but laced with amusement. “You think you can keep pushing my buttons without consequences?”

“Maybe I want the consequences..” you whispered, your fingers trailing along Natasha’s jaw now, your touch still gentle but clearly challenging.

Natasha’s hand caught your wrist, her grip firm but not harsh. “Well, in that case…I think it’s time I give you the attention you’ve been begging for.”

You were straddling her lap, knees pressing into the cushioned leather chair, hands cupping her jaw, your lips fused to hers. Her fingers gripped your hips, her tongue sliding against yours with a hunger that left you breathless, needy, desperate.

And fuck, you loved this. Being pressed so close to her, feeling the way her muscles tensed and relaxed beneath you. Feeling the way she made you feel like the only thing that mattered.

But then..She pulled back. And you whined, the sound breaking embarrassingly from your throat.

“Nat-”

“As much as I enjoy having you in my lap, sweetheart..” she murmured, her smirk both adoring and smug. “I actually have work to do.”

You blinked, momentarily dazed, your head spinning from the kiss. “Then why’d you let me get this close?” you muttered, trying to regain some of your dignity.

Natasha’s fingers traced slow circles against your hips. “Because I needed a little motivation to get through the rest of the evening.”

She shifted slightly, her thigh pressing up against you, the friction igniting a spark of heat. Your breath hitched. And Natasha noticed. Of course, she did.

“Now..” Natasha continued, her eyes flickering back to her laptop, her fingers still firmly on your waist. “I need you to be a good girl and get off by yourself.”

Your eyes widened. “W-What?”

Natasha didn’t look away from her screen, fingers already clicking through files, typing like nothing was out of the ordinary. “You heard me.” she murmured. “I have work to do. So, go ahead. Make yourself come on my thigh.”

Your entire body went rigid. “Nat-”

“You wanted to be here, didn’t you?” she continued, her voice so infuriatingly calm. “So needy. So desperate for my attention.”

Her thigh shifted beneath you, pressing up against your core, making you shiver. “Go on.” Natasha urged, her eyes flicking up to meet yours for just a second. “Be a good girl for me.”

You stared at her, your chest rising and falling too quickly, your mind struggling to process her words. But her hands were on your hips, guiding you, encouraging you. And fuck, the way she was looking at you, with challenge, with possession, with something that made your stomach twist into knots.

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

You bit your lip, your cheeks burning. “I-I don’t usually…”

“Oh, baby..” Natasha cooed, her hands sliding down to your hips, pressing you firmly against her thigh. “You can do it. I’ve got you.”

You shuddered as she kissed you again, her mouth warm, her tongue coaxing yours, her lips moving with a confidence that made your head spin. Her fingers gripped your waist, guiding you, making you move. And you did.

Slow, hesitant rolls of your hips, the pressure building where you needed it most, the heat coiling low in your stomach. But Natasha kept kissing you, her voice a low purr between your lips.

“That’s it.” she whispered. “Just like that. You’re doing so good.”

Your breath was already ragged, your body already craving more. Natasha’s lips trailed down your jaw, your neck, pressing kisses that made you shiver.

“Feel good, baby?” she murmured, her breath warm against your ear.

“Mhm..yeah-” you gasped, your fingers digging into her shoulders.

“Then don’t stop.”

After a moment, Natasha’s hands slid away from your hips, her gaze burning into yours. “Keep moving for me, sweetheart.” she urged, her voice turning into a low, encouraging hum. “Show me how much you want it.”

Your hips kept moving, desperate, needy, rubbing against her thigh, but.. It wasn’t enough. It was like chasing something just out of reach. You tried to keep going, your breath hitching, your thighs shaking. But it was useless.

Natasha watched you, her expression knowing, her smirk growing with every passing second.

“What’s wrong?” she taunted, her tone still laced with that infuriating gentleness. “You can’t get off like that, can you?”

You whimpered, your forehead dropping against her shoulder. “Natasha, please..”

“Please, what?”

“I-I can’t-“

“Can’t what, baby?” she teased, her hands finding your thighs again, fingers digging in just enough to make you squirm. “Can’t come all by yourself?”

Your breath shuddered, your body practically vibrating with frustration. “You need me to help you, don’t you?”

“Yes-fuck..please-”

Natasha sighed, a low, mocking sound of pity and amusement. “Guess I’ll have to help you, then.” she murmured, her fingers sliding up your thighs.

The next thing you knew, your back hit the cool surface of her desk, your legs parting automatically as she lowered herself between them. Your eyes widened, your body already shaking from anticipation.

Natasha’s gaze was dark, hungry, completely locked on you. “You’re so fucking desperate, baby.” she groaned, her hands gripping your thighs, her lips pressing kisses along the inside of your thigh, teasing, devouring.

“You couldn’t even do it yourself, could you?”

Your chest heaved, your fingers grasping at nothing, your body already losing control.

“Natasha, please..”

“Pathetic little thing.” she continued, her breath hot against your skin. “Can’t even get off without me.”

Her mouth finally reached your core, her tongue pressing against you with slow, devastating precision. You cried out, your body jerking, your hands scrambling for something to hold onto.

But there was nothing. Just the smooth, cool surface of her desk, nothing to ground you, nothing to keep you steady. And fuck, the sensation of having nothing to cling to made you fall apart even faster.

Natasha groaned, the sound vibrating through you, her tongue working you over with a relentless, sinful hunger. Your thighs trembled, your body arching off the desk, your hands still clawing uselessly at the air.

“Fuck- Nat, p-please!!”

“Come for me.” she commanded, her voice low and demanding, her tongue circling your clit with deadly precision.

And then..You shattered. Your body convulsed, pleasure crashing over you with violent intensity, your voice breaking into a wrecked, helpless cry.

Natasha’s mouth stayed on you, drawing every last bit of pleasure from your body, refusing to let you come down. Your fingers clawed at the air, your body completely hers.

And the way you broke apart for her, the way you looked so wrecked and helpless and beautiful..Made Natasha’s own arousal surge.

She couldn’t stop herself. Seeing you so vulnerable, so desperate, so completely hers..It made her fucking feral. Her own arousal was pounding through her veins, her breath coming out in ragged gasps, her body burning with a need she could no longer ignore.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” she growled, her fingers tightening on your thighs, her eyes dark with hunger. “You’re so fucking beautiful. So fucking perfect.”

Her mouth never left you, her tongue continuing to lick and suck and devour, even as your body twitched from the overstimulation.

“N-Nata-..!” you whimpered, your hands still searching for something to cling to, still finding nothing. The sight of you reaching for her, so helpless, so needy, It made Natasha’s own arousal skyrocket.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Natasha taunted, her voice breathless, wrecked, completely lost in you. “You can’t handle it? You can’t even keep your hands still, can you?”

Her lips curled into a dark smirk, her fingers trailing down your inner thighs, her eyes locked onto yours. “Maybe I should just keep you here.” she continued, her voice rough with desire. “Tied to this desk, begging for me. Completely fucking mine.”

Your eyes widened, your body already responding to her words, your thighs clenching instinctively. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Natasha purred, her hands still holding you down, refusing to let you pull away.

“Would you like me to make you come over and over until you can’t even speak? Until you’re just a desperate, helpless little thing?”

Her tongue is circling your clit with deadly precision again, till you shattered. Your body convulsed, pleasure crashing over you with violent intensity, your voice breaking into a wrecked, helpless cry.

You lay sprawled out on Natasha’s desk, your chest heaving, your legs trembling, your skin slick with sweat. Every nerve in your body felt like it had been set on fire, burning under Natasha’s relentless, brutal touch.

And fuck, she looked so damn smug. Natasha slowly rose to her feet, her lips slick, her breathing just as ragged as yours, but her eyes.. God, her eyes were still dark.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, her chest rising and falling in steady, slow breaths. “You’re incredible, Y/n..” she murmured, her voice wrecked, but smooth. “Completely fucking beautiful when you fall apart like that.”

You tried to form a sentence, but it came out as a shaky, breathless whimper. Natasha smirked, pressing a soft kiss to your inner thigh, her fingers brushing over your trembling skin.

“I think you need a moment to catch your breath.” she teased, her gaze locking onto yours. But as she started to pull away, you moved. Your legs still felt weak, your body still trembling, but there was a determination building inside you.

You pushed yourself up on shaky arms, your eyes not leaving Natasha’s as you slid off the desk. Natasha’s eyebrows rose, her smirk deepening. “What do you think you’re doing?”

But you didn’t answer. Instead, your hands found her waist, fingers fumbling with the buckle of her belt, your breath still coming out in uneven gasps.

Natasha’s eyes darkened instantly. “Oh?” she purred, her voice still heavy with arousal. “You want to return the favor, huh?”

You nodded, your fingers finally getting her belt undone, tugging it from the loops with desperation you couldn’t hide. “Fuck, baby.” Natasha groaned, her voice dropping even lower, her hands gripping the edge of the desk for balance.

But you weren’t done. You pushed her back, making her fall heavily into her office chair. “Now, it’s my turn.”

Her legs spread slightly, her chest heaving, her gaze completely locked onto you. “You sure you’re up for this?” Natasha taunted, her voice filled with mocking affection. “You’re still shaking, sweetheart.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to steady myself.” You whispered, your hands already working to pull down her pants. Natasha let out a low, shaky breath, her smirk slipping as her eyes grew darker.

Your knees hit the cold floor, the chill biting against your skin, but you didn’t care. You were too focused. Too lost in the way Natasha’s eyes had darkened the moment you pushed her into her chair, the way her lips parted with a mix of surprise and raw hunger.

Your mouth pressed against her, your tongue licking a broad, slow stripe that made Natasha’s head drop back against the chair. “Oh, fuck-”

Her voice was wrecked, strained, the sound of her falling apart already making your thighs clench. You swirled your tongue again, your lips closing around her clit, sucking just hard enough to draw a deep, shuddering moan from her chest.

“Fuck, just like that, Y-Y/n..” she groaned, her fingers twitching against the armrests. You could feel her muscles tensing, her breathing already turning ragged. But you weren’t going to let her get away so easily.

Your tongue continued its relentless pace, your lips kissing, sucking, devouring her, determined to make her come completely undone. And Natasha?

She was already crumbling. “You’re so good at this..!” she panted, her voice shaking, her body already struggling to stay steady.

You smirked against her, the vibration making Natasha’s hips twitch, her breath hitching in her throat. “Fuck- Oh, God, yes!”

Your hands gripped her thighs, your fingers digging in hard enough to leave marks, your mouth working her over like you couldn’t get enough.

But then, Natasha’s fingers sank into your hair. Her grip was rough, desperate, her head tossed back as a wrecked gasp tore from her throat.

“Fuck, baby! Just like that!!”

The sudden pull on your hair sent pain radiating down your scalp, but it only made you more determined. You groaned against her, the sound deep, wrecked, raw. The vibration made Natasha’s hips jerk violently, her entire body tightening under your touch.

“Fuck, o-oh fuc-” Her fingers tangled deeper into your hair, her nails digging into your scalp as she held you against her.

Your tongue flicked over her clit, your mouth sucking with ruthless precision, driving her closer and closer to the edge. Natasha’s legs trembled, her chest heaving, her face contorting in pure, raw pleasure.

And then..She came. Her body arched, her head snapping back, her mouth dropping open in a silent scream as her orgasm tore through her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” she chanted, her fingers pulling at your hair, her body shaking violently.

You didn’t stop. You kept licking, sucking, devouring her, determined to drag her through every last second of pleasure.

Natasha’s thighs clenched around your head, her breathing coming out in ragged, desperate gasps.

Her fingers tightened in your hair and she yanked you away.

“N-Nuh uh.” Natasha rasped, her voice still shaking, her chest still heaving. Your eyes widened, the sudden pain of her grip making you shudder.

“But-”

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” Natasha murmured, her gaze heavy, her eyes dark and gleaming with something you couldn’t quite place.

You swallowed, your breathing uneven, your lips still slick from her release. “I was just-”

“Trying to overstimulate me?” she interrupted, her fingers still tangled in your hair, her voice dripping with amusement and challenge.

You stared at her, unsure of what to say. Because yes, you had been trying to wreck her. You had been trying to make her feel as desperate, as ruined, as completely destroyed as she’d made you feel.

But now? Now you were the one feeling completely undone. Natasha smirked, her fingers tightening their grip, pulling you up so you were kneeling between her legs.

“Nice try, sweetheart.” she taunted, her voice low, breathless, but still so completely in control.

“But you don’t get to win this one.”

You tried to fight back, tried to push yourself forward, to resume what you had been doing. But Natasha’s grip was iron-strong, relentless, unyielding.

“Natasha-”

“No.” she whispered, her voice turning into something darker, something that made your stomach twist in both fear and excitement.

Her hand cupped your cheek, her thumb tracing over your lips, her smirk turning almost cruel. “You did good, baby. Real good.”

Her other hand slid down your neck, her touch gentle but possessive. “But now?”

She leaned forward, her lips brushing against yours, her breath warm, her eyes completely locked onto yours. “Now, you’re done.”

Your breath hitched, your chest tightening, your entire body burning with frustration and need. But the way she was looking at you, the way her fingers traced over your skin, the way her smirk never faltered- You couldn’t fight back. You were completely at her mercy.

-

-

-

-

[ivyasproperty]

Code Red. pt 2 | N.R

older!Surgeon!Natasha × Younger!Intern!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N=35, R=24) hospital atmosphere, panic, bones braking, Death

word count: 6,5k

A/n: New part! I mixed in 4 requests again, so I hope it works out well! Redline will have its moment tomorrow!!

The cafeteria was a chaotic blend of frantic energy and the thick scent of overcooked food. Interns and residents buzzed around, trays piled high with something that was probably meant to resemble meatloaf and salad. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was a break. A moment to breathe.

You sat at one of the corner tables, squeezed in between Levi and Taryn, your tray untouched as you poked at a sad excuse for lasagna. Your nerves were still fried from the OR. The way Natasha had let you struggle, the pressure, the thrill of finally getting it right..it was all still tangled up inside you.

“God, I feel like I haven’t sat down in days..” Taryn groaned, slumping into her chair like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

“Welcome to the glamorous life of a surgeon.” Levi muttered, shoving a forkful of something vaguely green into his mouth. “No sleep, no social life, just patients and cafeteria food that will probably kill us before residency even ends.”

“You can say that again..” Helm mumbled, her eyes half-closed as she stirred her soup absently.

You tried to relax, but your mind kept circling back to the surgery, the look Natasha had given you when you’d finally gotten your shit together, the words that still echoed in your mind.

“I picked you because you were the best.”

You had barely let yourself believe it. But the way Natasha had said it..it sounded real. And then she had walked away with that other woman like nothing had happened-

“So, how’s it feel to be the golden child? First day and you get to assist in the OR with Dr. Romanoff? That’s like, a fast-pass to success.” Levi said, nudging your elbow, snapping you out of your spiral.

You felt your stomach twist. “I-I wouldn’t call it that..” you muttered, trying not to sound so defensive. “I was just…in the right place at the right time.”

Levi snorted. “More like the right place under the right person, from what I’ve heard.”

Your fork clattered to your tray. “What?”

Taryn laughed, shaking her head. “Oh, come on. You seriously don’t know?”

“Know what?” Your voice came out smaller than you intended.

Helm looked up from her soup, eyes wide. “You don’t know about Dr. Romanoff? The hospital’s very own predator?”

Your blood chilled. “Predator??”

Levi rolled his eyes. “Not like that. Just…you know. Romanoff’s reputation.”

“I’m…I’m new. I don’t know anything.” And you felt stupid admitting it. But the truth was, you’d been too focused on your work to care about hospital gossip.

“Let’s just say,” Helm said, lowering her voice, “she’s got a habit of screwing her way through half the staff. Nurses, residents, other attendings..doesn’t matter. She’s…ambitious.”

“She’s a damn heartbreaker.” Taryn added. “Uses people for fun, then drops them like they never existed.”

“Like last week!” Levi piped up, his voice dripping with intrigue. “That poor nurse..Jessica, I think? Came out of the on-call room crying. And then there’s-”

“Definitely Romanoff’s doing.” Taryn said, shoving her salad around her plate. “I mean, we’ve all seen her. She’s hot, yeah, but she’s a goddamn nightmare. The woman’s probably slept with more people than we’ve met in our entire lives.”

You tried to swallow, but your throat felt too tight. Your chest ached, and you hated yourself for it. Because why should you care? You didn’t want Natasha Romanoff. You didn’t want the trouble, the games, the constant battle for control. And yet…

The idea that Natasha had only taken you to bed because you were just another notch in her belt… because you had been convenient..because you were just another one-night distraction…it made something in your chest feel painfully hollow.

You shouldn’t care. You shouldn’t want anything from Natasha. But that didn’t make the bitter, unwanted sting of rejection feel any less sharp. Levi kept rambling, but the words were just a blur of white noise.

Your eyes dropped to your tray, your appetite completely gone. Was that all it had been? Just fun? Just something Natasha would toss aside, like she did with everyone else? And why did that thought make you feel so stupidly worthless?

You clenched your fork until your knuckles turned white. You needed to forget this morning. Forget Natasha. Forget everything. But the words kept repeating in your head, over and over.

——

You threw yourself into your work. It was the only thing that made sense, the only thing that kept your head above water when everything else felt like it was dragging you down. The whispers in the cafeteria, the rumors about Natasha, the doubt, it all needed to be buried under something real.

So you worked. And for the most part, you were good at it. You were making rounds, running small procedures, and interacting with patients with a calm that felt like a miracle after your complete breakdown in the OR.

“Ah, Dr. Y/l/n, good to see you again!” your current patient beamed, a sweet elderly woman recovering from a hip replacement.

“Mrs. Hernandez.” you greeted her with a genuine smile, pulling up her chart. “And how are you feeling today? Any pain?”

“Oh, always pain, honey. That’s just getting old for you.” the woman laughed, eyes crinkling warmly. “But it’s better. You were right about moving around. Took a little walk with the physical therapist this morning.”

“That’s amazing.” you said, your eyes brightening. “That’s exactly what we want. I told you, you’re stronger than you think.”

“I don’t know if I believe you..” Mrs. Hernandez chuckled, “but you’re pretty enough that I’ll pretend I do.”

You laughed, a blush creeping up your cheeks. “Just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be out of here before you know it.”

You made a few more notes on the chart, gave Mrs. Hernandez some updated pain management tips, and left the room with a little more confidence in your step. For the next couple of hours, things were…good. You changed dressings, assessed post-op patients, gave instructions to nurses, all with a focused clarity that you desperately clung to.

Because as long as you were working, as long as your hands were moving, your mind couldn’t drift back to what had happened. Or who you had overheard. But of course, the universe had other plans.

“Can you check on Mr. McCarthy in Bay 4? He’s complaining of shortness of breath.” A nurse called as you passed by.

“On it.” you replied, tucking your clipboard under your arm and heading down the hall. You were reviewing his chart as you pushed open the door, already running through possible complications in your mind.

“Mr. McCarthy, good morning. I hear you’ve been having a little trouble breathing?”

“Yeah..” the man grunted, his voice raspy. “Feels like someone’s sitting on my chest.”

“Let’s have a look.” you said, moving closer to examine him. You placed your stethoscope against his chest, listening intently, your brows furrowing. “Breath sounds are diminished on the left side. You’re post-op for a pneumothorax repair, right?”

“Yeah. Feels like it’s getting worse.”

“We’ll get you sorted out.” you promised, forcing yourself to remain calm. “Let’s get a chest X-ray ordered. And I want another set of vitals.”

“Look at you, all professional and bossy.”

The voice sliced through your concentration, deep and undeniably amused. Your spine went rigid. Of course..

The older woman strolled into the room like she owned the place, eyes already locked on you like this was her personal entertainment. Your pulse spiked. Your fingers fumbled as you tried to scribble down notes, your handwriting coming out as little more than a tangled mess.

“Need me to hold your hand, Dr. Y/l/n?” Natasha asked, her voice like silk wrapped around steel.

Your jaw clenched. “No. I’m fine.”

But the way Natasha looked at you made you feel anything but. You tried to focus on the chart, tried to ignore the heat of Natasha’s gaze boring into you, tried to pretend you were still in control.

But your body betrayed you. Your hands were shaking, your grip on the pen clumsy. You went to place it on the counter but missed, the pen clattering to the floor.

“Smooth.” Natasha commented, one eyebrow arched, her smirk sharpening.

You bent down to grab it, your cheeks burning. “It’s…it’s nothing.”

“If nothing means sweating like you just ran a marathon, then sure.”

“Dr. Romanoff.” you said, your voice coming out weaker than you intended, “I’ve got this handled.”

“Oh, really?” Natasha’s eyes gleamed with something like amusement, but also something else. Something more unsettling. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re about two seconds away from passing out.”

Your lips tightened. “He needs a chest X-ray to check for recurrence. His vitals are all over the place and I was just about to order a blood gas to make sure we’re not missing something.”

Natasha’s gaze lingered on you, almost like she was daring you to break. But instead of commenting, Natasha turned her attention to the patient. “Shortness of breath, pressure on the chest, pain radiating anywhere?”

“No, just feels like I can’t breathe.” Mr. McCarthy croaked.

Natasha’s fingers moved to the man’s side, pressing gently but firmly. “Pain when I do this?”

“Yeah. Right there.”

“Sounds like your lung’s reinflated poorly or you’ve got fluid building up.” Natasha said smoothly. “Dr. Y/l/n, what’s your plan?”

You swallowed hard, your mind racing to catch up. “I…I think we need a thoracentesis to relieve the pressure.”

Natasha’s eyebrow arched, her smirk returning. “Good. And who’s going to do it?”

You blinked. “I-uhm-”

“Exactly, you.”

Your heart stuttered. “Me?”

“Yes. Now, not later. Unless you want him to crash before we get him upstairs.”

You forced your body to move, your hands still trembling as you prepared the procedure. Natasha’s gaze remained on you the entire time, scrutinizing every movement, her presence unrelenting.

“Your grip’s too tight.” Natasha commented. “Loosen up or you’ll miss the right spot.”

You did as instructed, your pulse hammering in your ears, your breathing shallow. “Better.” Natasha said softly. “See? Not that hard when you stop freaking out.”

The procedure went smoothly. The patient’s breathing eased, his color slowly returning to something resembling normal. But your nerves were still frayed, your hands clammy, your heartbeat still erratic. And Natasha just kept smiling.

The morning after was a whirlwind of chaos. You had barely slept. Every time you closed your eyes, the image of Natasha Romanoff’s smirk haunted you, her taunting voice echoing in your head, telling you that you were falling apart, sweating like a sinner in church, unable to keep up.

But you had gotten through the day so far. Kept yourself busy with routine cases, kept your hands steady, kept your thoughts away from the mess you had walked into when you arrived at Grey Sloan Memorial. Everything was going fine. Until it wasn’t.

“Dr. Y/l/n!” a nurse called out, hurrying over to you. “We’ve got a situation. Ambulance just brought in a trauma patient. Gunshot wound to the chest. Low pressure, shallow breathing. Trauma bays are full and the OR is prepping for him now.”

Your pulse quickened. You were still only an intern, barely starting to find your footing. And now they were trusting you with a gunshot wound? But then the nurse’s words replayed in your head. “The OR is prepping.”

That meant Natasha would be there. Of course. Of course, she would be. And if you walked in there, stumbling over yourself, hands trembling like you were about to collapse…

No. You couldn’t think about that. This was about the patient. “Where is he?” you asked, your voice slightly strained but functional.

“Coming in through the west entrance. Bay’s prepped. You’re taking him up.”

“Right.” You adjusted your gloves, swallowing your nerves as you hurried to the entrance where they were rolling in a bloodied, unconscious man strapped to a stretcher.

“Brian cooper, gunshot wound to the left side of the chest.” the paramedic called out as they wheeled the stretcher in. “Through and through. BP’s dropping fast. Systolic’s down to 80. Breath sounds diminished on the left side.”

The man’s chest was soaked in blood, the shirt shredded where the bullet had torn through. His skin was cold, clammy.

“We’ve got to get him up to the OR.” you said, your voice growing steadier with each word. “Page Dr. Romanoff. She should expecting him.”

“Already on it.”

They transferred him to a gurney and started pushing him toward the elevator. You held onto the rail, your mind running through the necessary steps, clinging to the structure of the routine like it was your only lifeline.

“Come on Brian, stay with me.” you murmured as the doors slid shut and the elevator jerked into motion. But the progress was slow. The patient’s blood pressure continued to drop, his breathing growing more labored. And the elevator wasn’t moving fast enough.

Too slow. Way too slow. The numbers blinked sluggishly above the door. Three. Four. Five-

A horrible lurch. The lights flickered. The soft hum of the elevator motor stuttered. And everything stopped.

“No. No, no, no, no…”

You stabbed the button for the surgical floor, your fingers frantic. You hit the emergency button, your heart slamming against your ribs.

“Come on, come on!” You slammed your palm against the control panel, your other hand reaching for the emergency button. “Is anyone out there?! The elevator’s stuck, and I have a critical patient! I need help!”

The only response was the shrieking of the heart monitor. “Oh god. No, no, no… Stay with me, Brian. We’re almost there. They’re gonna fix this! You just need to hang on a little longer!”

But his breathing was barely a gasp now, his chest heaving shallowly, each breath a struggle. His lips were starting to turn blue.

“Hey! Can anyone hear me?!” Your voice cracked, the panic strangling you, your fingers still jabbing the buttons like it would somehow force the elevator back into motion.

Suddenly the door opened a crack “Hold on, here is-” The voice cut through the fear like a razor. “Natasha!” you gasped, hope was evident in your face.

“What the hell are you doing in there?” Natasha’s voice was thick with irritation, and something else, something sharper, almost panicked. “The patient was supposed to be brought straight to the OR.”

“I was- He-” Your words stumbled over each other, your throat tightening. “It…it just stopped! I can’t get it moving. He’s crashing, Natasha.. His blood pressure’s bottoming out, his pulse is through the roof, and I…I can’t-”

“Stop. Breathe.” The tone shifted, a blade honed to precision. “Tell me what you see.”

You glanced down at the gurney. Blood soaked through the man’s shirt, the makeshift bandages drenched, the cloth useless against the bleeding. His chest barely rose with each strained breath.

“Gunshot wound. Through and through. Entry point near the left collarbone, exit just above the lower ribs-“

“He’s bleeding internally. He’s going to be dead before the elevator even moves.”

“Okay, but..I can’t just…what do I do?” Your voice came out as a desperate whimper.

“What you do is not panic.” Natasha’s tone was brutal, unrelenting, and somehow, exactly what you needed. “Listen carefully. I’m right here. I’ve got the tools you need, but I need you to be ready to use them. Understand?”

“I- Yes. I understand.”

“Good. I’m pushing the surgical kit through the gap. You need to grab it. His heart’s already struggling to beat.”

You shoved your fingers into the narrow space between the elevator doors. Through the crack, a metal case was shoved toward you, the scraping sound making your teeth clench.

You dragged it inside, your breath coming out in harsh, shallow bursts. “Okay, I’ve got it.”

“Open it. You need to access his chest. And I don’t mean some tiny needle procedure. I mean a thoracotomy. You need to get your hands in there.”

“Wait, what?! No- no, I can’t. Not alone! There should-”

“Yes, you can. Because if you don’t, Brian’s going to die, and you’re going to have to live with the fact that you could’ve saved him. Now, do you want to be a surgeon, or not?”

Your fingers trembled as you flipped open the case. Inside, the scalpel gleamed, the bone spreader gleamed dully next to it, and there were clamps, gauze, suture kits. Everything you needed.

Except for confidence.

“What…what do I do?”

“First, you cut.” Natasha’s voice was low, brutal, and it forced you to move. “You need to make an incision. Anterolateral thoracotomy. Start at the sternum, follow the ribcage down to the mid-axillary line. You know the drill.”

“Okay…” Your fingers tightened around the scalpel.

“Now, cut. Clean, deep, and fast. Don’t half-ass it.”

Your fingers trembled, but you pressed the scalpel against Brian’s skin and sliced. The blade bit deep, a sickening give of tissue parting beneath your hand. Blood welled up immediately, a dark river pouring over his chest.

“Good. Deeper. You need to get to the ribcage. His heart’s being compressed by blood. You have to relieve the pressure.”

You swallowed, your stomach lurching, but your hands moved. You cut down, deeper, following the curvature of his ribs. Your gloves were soaked, sticky and warm with blood. The wound was wide, gaping.

“Okay…Okay, now what?”

“Bone spreader. You need to break open the ribcage. It’s the only way you’ll reach his heart.”

“Break-”

“Yes. Now.” Your hands shook as you picked up the bone spreader. You slid it into the incision, your fingers clenching so hard your knuckles ached. You began to crank the handle, metal forcing bone apart with a series of wet, horrible cracks.

The sound was nauseating. But there it was- the heart. Flickering weakly, struggling to beat against the pressure.

“Blood’s compressing his heart. You need to get your hands in there. Find the source of the bleeding and clamp it off.”

Your hands hovered uselessly.

“Listen. If you don’t do this right now, he’s dead. Your hands. In his chest. Now.”

You forced your fingers forward, sliding them through the gaping incision, your entire arm sinking into the wound. The heat of blood and muscle engulfed your hand. Your fingers scrambled, searching for the bleeder.

“Feel around the heart. You’re looking for the artery that’s been nicked. It’s like trying to find a crack in a dam. Small but deadly,”

There was an edge of urgency to Natasha’s words, her earlier anger now replaced with something sharper. Focus. Determination.

“I-I’m trying..!” your voice trembled, your breath coming out in ragged gasps. “I can’t- I can’t feel—”

“Yes, you can. Slow down. The artery will be hot, pulsing. Blood will be gushing out like a broken pipe. Just..move your fingers. And do it now.”

You swallowed the panic clawing at your throat and forced your fingers deeper. Your muscles strained, your shoulder aching from the angle. But then.. There. A horrifying gush of warmth poured over your fingers, thick and relentless, coating your hand in a surge of fresh blood.

“I-I found it! It’s…it’s torn. Oh god, it’s torn..”

“Good. Now, you need to stop the bleeding. You’re going to press your fingers around the tear. Pinch it. Like you’re clamping a hose. Do not let go. Understood?”

“Yeah. Okay. I can do that.” Your hand adjusted, your thumb and forefinger squeezing around the torn artery. The sudden pressure made the bleeding slow, the frantic beeping of the monitors easing just slightly.

“Okay…okay, I think…I think I got it..” you whispered, your voice hoarse and strained.

“Check. Don’t think, just do. Is the bleeding stopped or not?” Natasha snapped, her words a whip cracking through your panic.

Your gaze locked onto the open chest, your fingers still pressing against the clamp. The pulsing of blood had slowed, the river reduced to a mere trickle.

“Yeah…It’s stopped. Oh, my god, it’s stopped-“

“Uh, this is Maintenance. We’re here to get the elevator moving. We’re gonna need you to stay clear of the doors and just hang tight while we-”

“Definitely not!” Natasha turned to the voice. The sudden change in tone sent a chill down your spine.

“What?” The maintenance guy sounded startled. “Ma’am, we need to get the elevator moving. Just give us a few minutes and-”

“No.” Natasha’s voice was icy, each word dripping with authority. “You are not touching this elevator until I say so.”

“But, Dr. Romanoff, we were told-”

“I don’t care what you were told. What I’m telling you is to stay the hell away from that control panel. I have a terrified intern inside performing an open-chest procedure with nothing but emergency supplies and pure adrenaline. You interrupt her, you so much as make the lights flicker, and I swear to God, I will have you scrubbing bedpans for the rest of your life. Got it?”

There was a long, agonizing pause. “Uh…Yes, ma’am. Understood.”

“Good. Now shut up, stand back, and don’t touch a goddamn thing until I tell you to. Clear?”

“Yes, ma’am. Clear.”

“Natasha?” you managed, your voice trembling. “What do I do now?” Your voice cracked, your entire body burning from holding your position, your arm cramping from the effort.

“You keep doing exactly what you’re doing,” Natasha said calmly. “Hold pressure. Keep him alive. Because now, I need him stable enough to actually save him once you’re out of that damn elevator.”

“But-”

“No buts. You keep holding on. They’re fixing the elevator now. You’ve bought him time. Now all you have to do is keep him from bleeding out before they can get you up here.”

Your entire arm was numb, the muscles cramping, your shoulder throbbing with pain. But your fingers stayed clamped around the artery, refusing to let go.

“Now.” Natasha continued, her voice lighter, almost teasing. “You need to stay exactly like that. Don’t even think about moving. When the elevator doors open, I’ll be right there. And I’ll take over. But until then, he’s yours. Understand?”

“Yes. Yes, I understand.”

“Good girl.” Something about the praise made your entire body flush, but you had no time to think about it. Not when your arm was buried in a man’s chest.

There was a shuffling noise outside the elevator. And then a distant voice, Maintenance. The idiots who had nearly interrupted you.

“Dr. Romanoff? We’re ready to get the elevator moving. Just need your go-ahead.”

“Give me a second, Y/n.” She moved away from the door, her tone dropping to a sharp, commanding whisper. “Listen to me carefully. The intern inside is holding a man’s life in her hands, literally. If you make that elevator jolt, so much as sneeze near it, and she loses her grip, you’ll have his blood on your hands. You’re going to lift this elevator gently. Smooth. No hiccups. No sudden movements. Got it?”

“Y-Yes, ma’am. Got it. Gentle. We’ll be careful.”

“Good. Start moving it. Now.”

There was a faint groan of metal, the hum of the elevator finally coming back to life. It started to rise, slowly, carefully. But even that subtle motion made your fingers clench tighter around the torn artery, panic flaring in your chest.

“I’m still here.” Natasha’s voice came through the gap. “Just keep holding pressure. You’re almost there. And when you get here, I’ll take over.”

“Okay. Okay..”

“You’re not going to let go.” The elevator continued to climb, the seconds stretching into eternities. The tension in your muscles was agonizing, but you didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop.

Not when Natasha’s voice was the only thing keeping you from falling apart. The elevator gave a gentle, final lurch. Your eyes stung from the sterile lights of the hallway, your vision swimming as the faces of nurses, doctors, and maintenance workers blurred together.

But your eyes only locked onto one person. Natasha. She was standing right there, her scrubs spotless, eyes sharp and glittering with a mix of intensity and something else. Something almost like…pride.

“Don’t you dare let go.” Natasha warned, her gaze glued to the blood-soaked scene before her. Before you could respond, Natasha was inside the elevator, a presence so commanding that the rest of the hospital staff instinctively backed away, making space for her.

And then Natasha’s hands were on him. Replacing your fingers with practiced precision, checking your grip, making sure your frantic attempt to save him hadn’t been for nothing.

“Good.” Natasha’s voice was low, approval sliding through the harshness. “You’ve done well. He’s alive because you didn’t let go.”

The words sent a rush of heat through you, but it was overshadowed by the sheer relief of having Natasha there.

“What do I do now?” you asked, your own voice sounding like it belonged to someone else. Weak. Trembling.

“Now?” Natasha’s smirk returned, her eyes gleaming with something unsettlingly like amusement. “You keep holding pressure. Just like that. Because if you let go now, he’s going to crash before we even get him into the OR.”

“But… I thought you were-”

“Oh, I’ll take over. But you’ve already got your hands on the bleeder. Moving you out of the way would just make things worse. So…” Natasha’s gaze flickered down to her own hands as she adjusted one of the clamps. “You’re coming with me.”

Your throat tightened. “What?”

“You heard me. You’re not done yet.” Natasha’s voice was steady, assured, the tone of someone who expected to be obeyed. “We’re wheeling this guy into the OR, and you’re going to keep your fingers exactly where they are the whole way. If you let go, he dies. And I really don’t feel like losing a patient today. So hold on.”

“Okay… okay, I can do that.”

“Good.” Natasha leaned a little closer, her voice dropping to a silky purr. “And Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“You just proved you can handle more pressure than most of the idiots working under me. So don’t blow it now.”

There it was again. That stupid, ridiculous warmth blossoming in your chest, the way Natasha’s words somehow made you feel like you were capable of doing this. Like you weren’t just some scared intern with your hands buried in a dying man’s chest.

Natasha’s gaze flicked to the maintenance workers standing by, their faces pale with shock. “Alright, get this damn elevator moving. And do it smoothly. If I feel so much as a bump, you’ll all be applying for janitorial positions tomorrow. Got it?”

“Y-Yes, Dr. Romanoff. We’ll, uh, we’ll be careful.”

They were terrified of her. And somehow, you couldn’t blame them. The elevator hummed to life, the movement almost imperceptible. But you felt it. Your entire body tensed as the machinery groaned and lurched.

“Easy.” Natasha’s eyes never left you. “Keep your grip. Focus on his heartbeat, not your own.”

“I can do that.”

The elevator crawled upward, each passing second stretching into an eternity. Your arm throbbed, your muscles burning with the strain of keeping your fingers wrapped around the torn artery, holding life in your hand like it was something fragile and easily lost.

The doors finally opened to the OR floor, the sterile white hallway waiting for you like some cold, indifferent maw. But Natasha was already in motion.

“Move! Get him into the OR! You, stay exactly where you are. Hands still on the artery. You’ll let go when I say so. Not a second before.”

The gurney lurched forward, Natasha steering it with a ferocity that left everyone else scrambling to keep up. You stumbled along, your hand still buried inside Brian’s chest, the elevator and its nightmare feeling like some distant memory.

“Natasha, I-”

“Not now. Talk later. Right now, you hold on and keep doing exactly what you’re doing. You got this far. Don’t fall apart now.”

The OR doors swung open, the flood of light and frantic movement swallowing you both. Nurses, residents, everyone was waiting, their voices a blur of medical terms and questions.

But your focus was only on Natasha. “On my count.” Natasha ordered. “One. Two. Three. Let go. I’m taking over.”

Your fingers released, your arm finally jerking free of the gaping wound. Natasha’s hands replaced yours in a matter of seconds, her gaze never once breaking from the surgical field.

“Now get out of my OR before you collapse on my patient.” Natasha snapped, but her voice lacked the usual bite. She sounded almost…proud.

You stumbled backward, your own heartbeat roaring in your ears, your legs trembling as you practically fell out of the OR, your own blood-smeared hands shaking uncontrollably.

You felt like you were vibrating. Every nerve in your body was thrumming with an energy you had never experienced before. Your fingers still twitched, phantom sensations of blood and torn flesh still echoing through your nerves.

But you had done it. You had actually done it. Brian had been alive when they wheeled him into the OR. His pulse had been weak, thready, but there. Because of you. Because you had kept your hand buried in his chest, holding a torn artery together like your life depended on it.

And when Natasha had finally taken over, her movements swift, confident, unyielding, it had felt like the culmination of something impossible. Now, you paced the corridor outside the OR, your hands trembling, your chest tight from the adrenaline still pounding through your veins. Nurses and residents moved around you, but they were just shapes, voices blurring into nothing.

You couldn’t keep still. Couldn’t let go of the electric rush coursing through you. A few of your fellow interns gawked at your blood-soaked scrubs, whispering to each other with a mix of awe and horror. But you barely noticed.

All you could think about was what had just happened. Your pulse was still racing when the OR doors finally swung open. Natasha strode out, her scrubs stained with blood, hair a mess, eyes glinting with something hard and sharp and deeply satisfying.

She looked like she had just fought a war and won. You practically launched yourself forward. “Natasha! Oh my god. That was…I don’t even have words. That was insane!!”

Natasha’s gaze flicked over you, eyebrows arched in mild surprise. “You’re still here?”

“Yes, I- Are you kidding? That was the most intense thing I’ve ever done. I-” Your words tumbled out, uncontrolled, your voice pitching high and fast. “I had my hand in his chest, literally holding his heart. And I didn’t screw it up. You were right there, talking me through it, and I…I actually did it..”

Your hands made wild, frantic gestures, your eyes gleaming with something like triumph. “I mean, I was terrified, but it was incredible. And the way you took over? God, you were like a machine. Just..perfect.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed, her expression unreadable. “You sound like you just won the lottery.”

“Because I did! Well, not really, but…I mean, you were there, right? I kept him alive. I kept him stable. I..I saved him..”

You could barely contain yourself. The rush was still thundering through you, a chaotic mix of pride, excitement, and something that felt dangerously like pure euphoria.

“I mean, I literally had a man’s heart in my hands..” you continued, your voice breathless. “And I didn’t panic. Not really. I did it.”

Natasha’s expression remained unreadable, her gaze flicking toward the OR doors, then back to you. “Yeah. You did.”

The words were slow, careful. But there was something in Natasha’s eyes- something not quite right. “What’s wrong?” Your smile faltered, the excitement thrumming through your veins suddenly too loud, too frantic.

Natasha took a slow breath, her shoulders sagging just a little. “Brian didn’t make it.”

The world seemed to lurch sideways. “What?” you whispered, the word feeling like broken glass in your mouth. “No…No, he was stable. He was alive when you took over. I did everything right. You said-”

“I said you kept him alive long enough to give him a chance. And you did.” Natasha’s voice was firm, her words precise. “But it wasn’t enough. His heart was too weak. By the time we started repairing the artery, it gave out.”

“No…” Your head shook violently, your mind refusing to process what you were hearing. “But…I-I held him together. I did everything right..?”

“And you did.” Natasha agreed, her gaze sharp, unwavering. “You kept him alive in that elevator. You kept his heart beating long enough for us to try. That’s more than most surgeons could’ve done.”

“But he’s…dead?”

Natasha’s lips pressed into a thin line. “Yes.”

All that adrenaline, that frantic energy, that surge of confidence-it all crashed down at once. Your knees felt weak, your entire body sagging as if someone had pulled the strings out of you. Your hands still shook, stained red from the life you thought you had saved.

“I…I really thought…”

“Welcome to surgery.” Natasha’s voice was blunt, but not unkind. “Sometimes, you do everything right and it’s still not enough. That’s just how it is.”

The rush of adrenaline was gone, leaving nothing but a hollow ache in your chest. The realization that you hadn’t saved him. That your first miracle had been nothing more than a temporary delay.

You had left the OR corridor as if in a trance, your legs moving purely out of instinct. Your hands still trembled, even after you had scrubbed them clean three times. The hot, sticky blood was gone, but you could still feel it.

Still feel the heat of Brian’s heart pulsing against your palm. Still hear the weak, desperate beats struggling to survive.

And then, nothing. You had failed. Your first real test, your first real moment to prove you were worth all the praise and expectation Natasha had thrown at you. And you had still lost him.

The days that followed were a blur. You pushed through your rounds with a mechanical precision, your movements robotic, your voice hollow. The other interns watched you like you were some kind of tragic legend already forming. The intern who had been buried up to her elbows in a man’s chest and still couldn’t save him.

Every time you passed Natasha in the hallway, the woman’s eyes followed you. Watching. Assessing. Like she was waiting for something to snap. But you didn’t snap. You just…shut down.

Days later, you sat at the far end of the cafeteria, a half-eaten sandwich lying forgotten on your tray.

“Y/l/n”

The voice startled you. You glanced up, eyes bleary from lack of sleep. “Natasha.”

The woman’s name tasted bitter on your tongue. Like something you’d lost the right to say. Natasha slid into the seat across from you, her expression calm but her eyes intensely sharp. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Bullshit.”

The word hit you like a slap. You stiffened, your fingers clenching around the edge of your tray. “Excuse me?”

“I said, bullshit.” Natasha repeated, her voice low, harsh. “You’ve been shutting down. Avoiding everyone. Burying yourself in mindless work like it’s going to make the guilt go away.”

“Why do you even care?” you shot back. “Isn’t this what you wanted? To push me so hard I’d fall apart? Congratulations, mission accomplished.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “You think that’s what I wanted?”

“I don’t know. You threw me into the deep end and told me to swim, and I still-”

“No. You weren’t supposed to save him.” Natasha interrupted. “You were supposed to give him a chance. And you did. Sometimes, even when you do everything right, it’s not enough. That’s part of the job.”

The truth hurt. Because it was exactly what you had been refusing to accept. “I should have saved him..” you whispered.

“Maybe. Maybe not. What matters is you did everything you could. And most interns wouldn’t have even tried.” Natasha’s gaze held yours like a lifeline. “And you’re going to pull yourself out of this. Because you don’t have a choice.”

“And if I can’t?”

“Then I’ll make sure you do. I pushed you because I know you can handle it.”

And for the first time in days, you felt something other than crushing guilt. You felt something almost like… hope.

-

-

-

-

[ivyasproperty]

Best series ever

Redline. pt 6 | N.R

Older!Motorsportboss!Natasha x Younger!Racing!Driver!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N= 32, r=23), 18+! MINORS DNI! sexual tension, trauma, violence, crashs

Word count: 12,1k

A/N: Okay…a really great time has now come to an end. I want to thank everyone who interacted with the fic, it literally blew up so much, I never expected it. I gained so many new people here and some lovely anons because of it, and I’m truly grateful. Thank you!

I hope I made the ending worthy of the story (even though Tumblr shortened it due to the word limit). I really hope it doesn’t feel too rushed. 🫶🏼🍾

1 Month later

You were lying in Natasha’s bed scrolling through your phone, half-awake when the articles started popping up.

Romanoff’s Favorite – The Relationship Between Natasha and Her Rising Star.

Not Just Business? Photos Capture Natasha Romanoff’s Rare Smile at Y/N’s Victory.

More Than Just Racing? The Paddock Buzzes Over Y/N and Natasha’s Dynamic.

Your stomach twisted. It wasn’t new that people speculated about you and Natasha. The media was always looking for a story. Always waiting for something to tear apart.

But this? This was the first time they had proof. There were pictures.. Natasha, standing with the team, a champagne glass in hand, watching you on the podium. Natasha, smiling. Actually smiling. Natasha, looking at you like you were the only thing that mattered. Your breath caught. Oh, fuck…

“You’re up early.”

You nearly jumped at the sound of Natasha’s voice. She was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, still in the loose sweats she wore when she wasn’t dressed to terrify the entire paddock.

“Did you see this?” you blurted out, shoving your phone in her direction.

Natasha arched an eyebrow, stepping closer to take the device from your hand. She scanned the articles, lips pressing into a thin line. “Of course they’d make a story out of this.” she muttered.

“This is bad..” you groaned, rubbing your hands over your face. “The press conference today is going to be a fucking disaster.”

Natasha hummed. Then, to your absolute horror, she smirked. “What?” you demanded.

She tilted her head slightly, tossing your phone onto the bed before leaning in closer, so close that you could feel her breath against your cheek. “You’re nervous.” she murmured, clearly amused.

“Of course I am, Natasha, this is a mess-”She cut you off with a chuckle, straightening up. “Let them talk.”

Your stomach flipped. She wasn’t worried. She wasn’t freaking out. She was enjoying this.

“You’re not serious..”

Natasha shrugged. “It’s inevitable. They were always going to figure it out.”

You blinked. “Figure what out?”

Her smirk widened, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she turned towards the door, pausing just long enough to glance at you over her shoulder.

“Get dressed. We have a press conference.”

The room was buzzing with anticipation by the time you stepped in. Cameras flashed, reporters murmured among themselves, and the air carried the weight of a dozen unanswered questions. The energy was different today, sharper, more expectant. You knew exactly why.

Natasha walked beside you, her presence as commanding as ever, a steady force in the chaos. Dressed in her usual sleek suit, she radiated an untouchable authority, but there was something else today. Something in the way she moved, the way her gaze flickered across the room before settling on you.

She was prepared. Always. But this wasn’t just about the race anymore. You took your seat, adjusting the mic in front of you, your fingers brushing over the cold surface as the press officer nodded for the first question.

A journalist from Racing Line leaned forward, eyes sharp with intrigue. “Y/n, first of all, congratulations on your win yesterday. A phenomenal drive. But beyond that, there’s been a lot of talk about your dynamic with your team principal.”

He paused, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Care to comment on the pictures circulating? Romanoff looking unusually pleased with your performance?”

You clenched your jaw, pulse spiking. Of course. The photos had been everywhere this morning. Natasha, standing at the pit wall, watching you with a look that was unmistakably soft. For her, at least. And then on the podium, the way she’d lingered, the rare glimpse of a smile.

Natasha’s presence beside you remained steady. No reaction. Just sharp focus, like she was calculating every possible outcome of this moment. You exhaled slowly, forcing a small smirk as you leaned forward. “I think any team principal would be happy when their driver wins.” you said, voice level, playful even. “It’s kind of their job.”

A few chuckles echoed through the room, but the journalist wasn’t backing down. “True, but this seemed more personal. Some might say.. more invested than usual.”

You barely had time to process it before Natasha spoke. “If you’re implying that I don’t take every win personally, then you clearly don’t know me.” she said coolly, her gaze locking onto the journalist with a pointed sharpness. “I push my drivers to win. That’s my job. Y/n delivers. That’s hers.”

The response was effortless, perfectly calculated to dismiss any rumors while still standing firm. But you knew her too well now. The way her fingers tapped lightly against her leg under the table, the slight tick in her jaw, it was irritation masked under absolute control.

Another journalist jumped in. “Y/n, this season has been a defining one for you, but given your history with crashes and the challenges you’ve faced, do you ever feel like you still have something to prove?”

Your stomach twisted at the question, but you didn’t let it show. You straightened, fingers flexing against the table. “Every driver on this grid has something to prove. That’s why we’re here. But if you’re asking if I doubt myself? No. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I did.”

The room went still for a second, the weight of your words settling before another voice cut in. “Natasha, you’ve worked with some of the best drivers in the sport. Where does Y/n rank among them?”

Your breath caught. Oh. That was a trap. Natasha didn’t play favorites. Ever. Her entire brand of leadership was built on ruthlessness, on absolute control, on never showing anything that could be perceived as bias. But then, she turned her head slightly, eyes locking with yours, just for a fraction of a second.

“She fights harder than most..” Natasha said finally, voice even, measured. But there was something in her tone, something more. “And no. She hasn’t finished proving herself yet.”

The tension in the room shifted. You weren’t sure if anyone else caught the unspoken weight behind her words. But you did. The questions continued, each one sharp, some pressing about the championship fight, others about your rivalry with Walker, about strategy, about what came next. You answered, playing the game, maintaining your composure, even when the topic of your previous crash came up again.

By the time you made it back to the team’s facility, you barely managed to get your stuff done before heading straight for Natasha’s office, needing to breathe, to think, and the moment you stepped inside, she was already there.

Natasha stood near her desk, arms crossed, watching you. The way her eyes scanned you, calm, assessing made your stomach twist. She had felt it. She had seen it.

“What’s wrong?”

You groaned, running a hand through your hair. “It’s just..They talked like they know anything!”

“They don’t.”

You huffed, pacing the room. “But they think they do! They’re making this entire thing into some huge scandal, ‘Natasha Romanoff smiles? Must be because of Y/N L/N-

Natasha smirked slightly. “It’s not entirely false.”

You froze mid-step, whipping around to face her. “Natasha.”

She shrugged, completely unbothered. “What?”

Your frustration only grew. “How are you so calm about this? You know what people are saying-”

“I don’t care what people are saying.” Her voice was steady, unwavering. You stared at her, jaw tight, hands clenched at your sides. “Well, I do.”

Silence stretched between you till Natasha moved. One second, she was standing by her desk, and the next, she was right in front of you, so close you could feel the warmth radiating from her.

“You do?” she murmured, voice dropping. You swallowed hard. She tilted her head slightly, studying you, her gaze flickering to your lips for just a second before locking back onto your eyes. “What exactly is it that’s bothering you?”

Your breath hitched. “The attention?” she continued, her voice softer now. “The rumors? Or the fact that they might be right?”

Your stomach twisted, your body betraying you with the way your pulse spiked. She saw it. Of course, she saw it. Her fingers brushed against your wrist, light, teasing, but enough to make you shiver.

“I..” You didn’t know what you were going to say. Didn’t get the chance to find out. Because Natasha took another step forward, crowding into your space, her presence consuming, her scent, leather and something unmistakably her wrapping around you like a trap you didn’t want to escape.

“Tell me.” she murmured, her breath brushing against your cheek. You swallowed hard, your heart hammering against your ribs. You could lie. You should lie. But you didn’t. Instead, you whispered, “I don’t know what this is..”

Natasha’s lips curved into a smirk, but her eyes softened just enough that your chest ached. “You will.” And then she kissed you. Slow. Purposeful. Like she had decided. Like she had always known. And for once, you stopped thinking.

Race 22

The moment you crossed the finish line, your grip on the steering wheel tightened. P2. Not the win, but damn close. And after the chaos of the rain, the battle with Walker, and the near spin that nearly sent you into the barriers, you’d take it.

“P2, Y/n! Well done!” Your race engineer’s voice crackled through the radio, but there was something else beneath it. A small pause.

Then Natasha. “Good job, Y/n.” her voice was controlled, professional, but you swore there was something more. A flicker of pride just under the surface. “You handled the conditions well.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, a slow grin tugging at your lips as you leaned back against the seat, adrenaline still coursing through your veins. P2. The points were crucial, but more than that? Your parents were here today.

You knew exactly where they were standing in the paddock, right at the edge, watching from behind the barriers. Your dad had always been more subtle with his pride, but you could imagine the small nod of approval he was giving right now. Your mother, on the other hand, had probably been clutching his arm the entire race, barely breathing each time you overtook.

You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head as you pulled into the pit lane, the sound of the crowd still roaring around you. The podium celebration was nothing short of euphoric. The champagne bottle was cold against your palm, the pressure inside ready to burst. You popped it, aiming the spray at the crowd, the golden bubbles soaking into your race suit as you laughed, high off the victory, the energy, the moment.

Walker was there, of course. You could feel his presence, could practically sense his frustration at not clinching the championship today. It fueled you. And then, the press again. It happened fast. The podium celebrations ended, and before you could even get a second to breathe, the paparazzi descended.

“Y/N! P2 today, how do you feel after that battle with Walker?”

You expected the questions. You were prepared for them. You kept walking, still riding the high, your team’s mechanics clapping you on the back as you moved toward the garage.

“Were you worried about the rain conditions?”

“Your spin almost cost you the podium- what was going through your mind?”

You answered, giving them just enough without revealing too much, your voice still buzzing with the rush of the race.

“The next race is at Silverstone. Your Silverstone. Are you ready for that?”

You froze. The air in your lungs thinned, and suddenly, the roaring of the crowd, the flashing cameras, the overwhelming everything..felt too loud. The wreckage. The fire. It slammed into you all at once. You blinked hard, forced the memories down, and made yourself breathe. Your voice, when it came, was calm. Controlled. “It’s just another race.”

A lie. But one the world didn’t need to know. You started moving again, Natasha keeping pace beside you, her presence unwavering. She didn’t say anything, but you felt her watching. And when the press had finally been left behind, when the cameras were no longer in your face, when it was just you and her walking toward the garage, she finally spoke.

“You okay?”

You nodded, too quickly. “Yeah, let’s go.” Her silence was sharp. Calculating. You knew she didn’t believe you.

The road stretched ahead in quiet darkness, the soft hum of the engine filling the air. The city lights flickered past the windows, casting brief flashes of neon against your skin. The rain had stopped, but the roads were still damp, the reflections of streetlights shimmering on the slick asphalt. You barely noticed. Your mind was elsewhere.

Silverstone.

Every corner. Every turn. Every shadow of the past that lurked beneath the floodlights of that track. You could see it. Feel it.

The way the car had snapped away from you in that fraction of a second, how the wall had rushed toward you. The helplessness, the terror. The excruciating pain that had followed. The fire. The pressure of the seatbelts locking you in place as you fought to stay conscious. The memories clawed at the edges of your mind, threatening to pull you under.

Would it feel the same next weekend? Would you hesitate when you reached that same turn? Would you flinch- You didn’t get to spiral too far before a hand suddenly waved something in front of your face.

A phone.

You blinked, snapping back into the present. The scent of Natasha’s car, the low music playing through the speakers, the woman herself sitting beside you with an expectant look.

“Order food.” Natasha instructed, smirking slightly. You furrowed your brows, still trying to shake off the ghosts of your past thoughts. “What?”

Natasha waved the phone again. “Food. You know, the thing we eat to survive?”

“Right..” you muttered, grabbing the device and pulling up the app. You scrolled through options, selecting your usual choices, though your mind was still distant. It wasn’t until you reached the address confirmation screen that you hesitated.

“Nat…” you said slowly, glancing toward her. “This isn’t the track. Where are we going?”

Natasha’s smirk widened as she turned onto a quieter road, one that led away from the team facilities and the usual places you stayed.

“My place.” she answered simply.

You stilled. Natasha’s home. You had spent countless nights together, hotels, at Natasha’s track, but never at Natasha’s place. It was private. Personal. Hers.

You swallowed. “Your place?”

“That’s what I said.”

You could feel your heart beating a little faster. Natasha flicked you a knowing glance, clearly sensing the shift in your demeanor. Then, with a devilish smirk, she added, “Relax, printsessa. If you’re thinking about it, I wouldn’t have bothered ordering food.”

Your face heated instantly. “I-I was not thinking about..!”

Natasha let out a low, amused chuckle, her fingers drumming lightly against the steering wheel. “Sure you weren’t.” You groaned, slumping back into your seat. God, this woman.

When you arrived, Natasha pulled into the private driveway of a sleek, modern home tucked behind high walls and tall trees. The moment you stepped inside, you were hit with a sense of quiet intimacy.

The place was hers. Clean, organized, yet undeniably lived-in. The walls were lined with dark wooden shelves, books and old records stacked neatly. But what caught your attention the most were the photos.

One by the entrance, Natasha in her racing suit, helmet under her arm, a victorious smirk on her face. Another by the bookshelf, her with her family, a rare moment of unguarded happiness shining in her eyes. A framed picture of her and another driver, a teammate from years ago, grinning with champagne in hand. You took it all in, feeling something warm settle in your chest. This was Natasha’s life. The parts she didn’t show to just anyone.

“You gonna stand there all night?”

You turned to find Natasha leaning against the counter, arms crossed, watching you with that same infuriatingly attractive smirk.

“Just looking…” you murmured.

Natasha’s expression softened. “I don’t let just anyone in here, you know.”

Yeah, you knew. Your eyes met, and the air between you shifted. The teasing edge faded, replaced by something warmer. Deeper.

Natasha pushed off the counter and stepped toward you, slow and deliberate. You tilted your head up, your breath hitching slightly as Natasha’s fingers brushed against your jaw.

The kiss started soft, gentle, unrushed. But as soon as your hands found Natasha’s waist, pulling her closer, the heat between you ignited. Natasha’s hands were firm, sliding against your waist, gripping just enough to make your stomach tighten with anticipation. The kiss deepened, needier, hungrier. Your fingers tangled into Natasha’s jacket, pulling her in-

The doorbell rang, and you both froze. Natasha exhaled through her nose, dropping her forehead against your shoulder. “Are you kidding me?”

You laughed breathlessly, still gripping her jacket. “Food’s here.”

Natasha groaned but finally pulled away, muttering something about terrible timing as she went to get the food.

You sat on the couch, food spread between you, the glow of warm light casting soft shadows on the walls. The tension between you had shifted, not gone, but different now. It simmered beneath the surface, intertwined with something softer, more vulnerable.

Natasha watched you pick at your food, your fingers tracing absent patterns against the edge of the takeout container. You weren’t fully present, still lost in thought.

“Talk to me.” Natasha said quietly, resting her arm against the back of the couch.

You hesitated, then exhaled, setting your food aside. “It’s just…”

Natasha said nothing, just watching and waiting. “It’s not just another race..” you continued. “I know I should be past it by now, but… I don’t know…”

“You don’t just ‘get past’ something like that.” Natasha interrupted gently.

You huffed a soft laugh. “You’d think nearly dying would be enough for me to quit racing.”

Natasha tilted her head. “But you didn’t.”

“Yeah…” Natasha reached out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Her fingers lingered a second longer than necessary, her touch soft. “Because it’s who you are. You’re not afraid of fighting for what you want.”

You met her eyes, something settling in your chest. Then Natasha smirked. “And for the record? You’ll be fine. I’ll be there the whole time.”

You let out a genuine smile. “Thank you.”

“Happy to help.”

The tension had lightened, but it still buzzed beneath the surface, the kind of pull that never really went away between you. Then, in one smooth, calculated move, you climbed onto Natasha’s lap. Enough with depression.

Natasha raised a brow, but didn’t move, didn’t protest, just watched. You settled yourself, your legs bracketing Natasha’s hips, your hands pressing lightly against the older woman’s shoulders.

“Thought you were nervous.” Natasha murmured, tilting her head up slightly, amusement flickering in her green eyes.

You smirked. “Maybe you’re just really good at distracting me.”

Natasha exhaled slowly, her fingers instinctively settling against your waist. “Mm. And what exactly do you think you’re doing?” Natasha asked, voice low, teasing, her hands barely moving, just resting there, warm and steady. You leaned in slightly, your lips just close enough to brush against Natasha’s ear. “Distracting myself.”

Your voice was soft, sultry..a promise and a challenge all at once. Natasha exhaled, her grip tightening just the slightest bit. But she didn’t move to take control. No..she was going to let you play your game.

And you took your time. You let your fingertips graze down Natasha’s arms, featherlight, teasing, slow. You leaned in again, pressing an almost nonexistent kiss just below Natasha’s jawline, barely there, just enough to make Natasha’s breath hitch, before pulling back again with an innocent expression.

Natasha smirked, tilting her head. “You’re dangerous, printsessa.”

You smiled, shifting just enough that you could feel the reaction you were pulling from Natasha. A slow, deliberate roll of your hips, just a fraction of movement, but it was enough to make Natasha’s jaw tighten. She was watching. Letting you put on a show. Not stopping you. Not rushing you.

You ran a hand up Natasha’s chest, fingers lingering at the collar of her shirt. You played with the fabric for a second before leaning down, just close enough that your lips barely brushed.

Natasha wasn’t chasing. Not yet. You smirked. “Something wrong, boss?”

Natasha exhaled slowly, her control almost infuriating. “Not at all.”

A challenge. You leaned down again, pressing a slow, unhurried kiss to the corner of Natasha’s mouth, not quite giving in.

Natasha’s grip on you tightened just slightly. You were playing with fire now. You kissed along Natasha’s jaw, soft, teasing, dragging it out. You could feel Natasha’s patience thinning, the way her breath was a little heavier, the way her fingers dug just slightly into your hips.

You smirked against her skin. You were winning. Or at least you thought you were, until Natasha’s hands suddenly shifted, flipping your positions in one swift move. Now, you were on your back against the couch, Natasha leaning over you, hands braced on either side of your head.

You swallowed. Your heart stuttered and Natasha smirked. “You think I don’t know exactly what you’re doing?”

You licked your lips, looking up at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about..”

Natasha leaned in, not kissing you, just hovering, watching. Watching your breath hitch, watching you squirm just slightly under her gaze.

“I let you have your fun..” Natasha murmured. “Now, it’s my turn.”

You barely had time to react before Natasha’s lips finally crashed into yours. This time, there was no hesitation. Natasha kissed you like she was claiming you, like she was making up for every second you had made her wait. It was deep, hungry.

Her hands moved, no longer still, no longer restrained. One gripping your waist, the other sliding up your back, pulling you in as close as possible.

You exhaled sharply, your fingers digging into Natasha’s shoulders, trying to keep up. You had started the game. But Natasha was the one finishing it. You barely noticed the way Natasha’s lips moved lower, kissing along your jaw, trailing down just enough to make your toes curl.

Until..The phone rang.

The sound cut through the moment like a blade. You both froze, Natasha’s lips still pressed against your skin. You groaned. “Nooo!!”

Natasha let out a low chuckle against your collarbone before pressing a quick kiss there and pulling back. She reached for the phone, but you grabbed her wrist, shaking your head. “No. It can wait.”

Natasha smirked. “Impatient?”

You narrowed your eyes. “Don’t start something you’re not going to finish!”

The phone rang again. Natasha sighed, glancing at the screen. She smirked, then, a knowing, smug little smile.

“Oh, this one can’t wait.” she murmured, amusement flickering in her gaze.

You frowned, still breathless. “Why?”

Natasha picked up the call, holding you in place. “Because, it’s for you.” she murmured against your lips before answering.

Here voice was low, calm, businesslike..echoed from the hallway as she wrapped up whatever conversation had interrupted you. You barely registered the words, still feeling the ghost of Natasha’s hands on your skin, the heat that had been building, building, building before that damn phone had stolen her attention away. The soft sound of the phone being set down made you glance toward the doorway.

Natasha was back.

She stood at the edge of the dimly lit living room, watching. For a moment, neither of you spoke. Then, without a word, Natasha moved. She crossed the room with the same quiet, predatory grace that made her dangerous both on and off the track. Unrushed and in control.

You barely had time to process it before Natasha was climbing over you, bracing her weight on the couch, her hands framing your face, her knee pressing just enough between your legs. The breath hitched in your throat.

Natasha smirked. “Now.” she murmured, her voice like velvet and steel, “where were we?” And this time, nothing stopped her from finishing what she started.

—

The soft morning light filtered through the curtains, casting golden streaks across the sheets. You stirred, feeling the warmth of the bed beneath you, the soreness that came with exactly how last night had gone. A lazy, satisfied smile curled on your lips as you stretched, fingers reaching for the familiar presence beside you-

Only to find empty sheets. You cracked one eye open, frowning slightly. Natasha’s side of the bed was cool. She had been up for a while. You groaned, rolling onto your stomach, letting yourself melt into the mattress for a moment longer before you finally forced yourself upright. Your muscles ached in the best way, your body still humming from the night before.

That’s when you saw her. Natasha stood near the dresser, already fully dressed, the perfect picture of composure. She fastened the last button of her team-issued shirt, the usual red and black livery fitted perfectly to her frame, like the night before hadn’t just happened.

You huffed, your voice still rough with sleep. “You really have a habit of getting up and leaving.”

Natasha glanced over, a small smirk tugging at her lips. “I didn’t leave.” she countered smoothly.

You raised a brow. “You weren’t in bed when I woke up. Feels the same.”

Natasha chuckled, stepping closer. She leaned down, one hand braced against the mattress, the other tilting your chin up so your eyes met.

“I finished what I started, didn’t I?” she murmured, her tone edged with amusement.

Heat flashed through you at the memory. Natasha took full advantage of your silence, pressing a brief but thorough kiss to your lips before pulling back, still smirking.

“Come on..” she said, straightening. “We have to leave.”

You groaned, flopping back onto the pillow. “Too earlyyy..”

Natasha nudged the blanket off of you, ignoring the way you tried to pull it back up. “It’s not early, you just don’t want to get up.”

You peeked up at her, eyes playful, teasing. “And whose fault is that?”

Natasha only tilted her head, her smirk deepening. “Mine, obviously.”

You rolled onto your back with a sigh. “Where are we even going?”

Natasha simply grabbed her phone, checked something quickly, then looked at you. “You’ll see.”

You sat in the passenger seat, your fingers curled into your lap, your gaze fixed out the window as the world passed by in a blur of muted colors. The closer you got, the more the tension coiled in your chest, wrapping tight around your ribs.

You had already seen it. From a distance. The track. The place where it happened. Even from far away, it stood like a specter in the distance, a shadow of something you had never fully escaped. The floodlights, the sharp turns you once knew like the back of your hand, the long straights that had once filled your veins with nothing but adrenaline.

But now..now, it was different. You hadn’t set foot here since the crash. Since you had nearly lost everything. Your chest tightened. The closer you got, the harder it became to breathe, the air suddenly too thick, too heavy. Your fingers curled against your thigh, your body going rigid as the memories threatened to surface.

Natasha sensed it. Of course she did. Without a word, she slowed the car, pulling over to the side of the empty road leading toward the track’s private entrance. The engine idled in the quiet, but she didn’t move to keep driving.

Instead, she turned her head. “Hey.”

You exhaled shakily, keeping your eyes forward. Natasha didn’t push. She just watched, her voice low, steady. Grounding.

“Look at me.”

You hesitated, your pulse still hammering. But you turned. And there it was. The thing that always managed to steady you no matter how loud the world got. Her eyes. Green. Certain. Unshaken. Like there was not a single doubt in her mind.

“You’re safe.” Natasha said softly, reaching over, her fingers lightly brushing against yours. “Nothing’s going to happen.”

You swallowed. “I know that.”

“Do you?” Natasha challenged gently, her fingers tightening just slightly. “Because you’re acting like you’re back in that car two years ago.”

You pressed your lips together, inhaling sharply through your nose. The older woman’s thumb traced slow circles against your skin, her voice unwavering. “You already won this battle, Detka. You made it out.”

You closed your eyes, exhaling. “I thought I was past this. I hate it.”

“You will be.” Natasha assured. “But not by running from it.”

Silence settled between you, thick, heavy. But Natasha waited. She always did. And eventually, you nodded. Natasha studied you for another beat, then, without another word, she put the car back in gear and drove.

The entrance to the track loomed closer. Your fingers curled against your knee again, but you kept your breathing steady. Inhaling, exhaling. The gates opened as Natasha pulled through, leading into the pit lane, the vast emptiness of the track stretching out before you.

She stopped the car near the garage. For a second, neither of you moved. Then, Natasha unbuckled her seatbelt, stepping out. You watched as she rounded the car, her movements unhurried, purposeful. When Natasha reached your door, she opened it, the cool air from outside slipping in. And then, she stepped back.

She didn’t say anything. Just tilted her head slightly, gesturing to the driver’s seat. Your heart stuttered. You looked at Natasha, eyes wide, uncertain. But Natasha’s gaze didn’t waver.

You took a slow breath as you slid into the driver’s seat, fingers wrapping around the wheel. It felt familiar. The weight of it, the smooth material beneath your hands..it should have been comforting.

But it wasn’t. Not here. Not on this track.

Natasha shut the door behind you. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. She simply slid into the passenger seat, settling in like this was any other drive. Like this wasn’t the place where everything fell apart.

You swallowed, shifting the car into gear. You started slow. The track was eerily quiet, so unlike the last time you had been here. No roaring engines, no deafening crowd, no radio crackling in your ear. Just the low hum of the car beneath you, the whisper of tires on asphalt.

But you already felt it. The weight. The pull of the past creeping in. Every turn was one you had memorized. Your body still knew the angles, the braking points, the racing line that had once been second nature to you. But then, The trees. They appeared in the distance. And you knew. You knew what was coming.

The curve.

Your breath caught, your grip on the wheel tightening. Far before you even reached it, you saw it. You saw everything. The way the road bent, the familiar angle of the wall. You saw the moment your car had lost control, the sickening snap of the tires, the helpless spin.

You saw fire. And suddenly, it wasn’t just memories. The beep of machines. The sterile scent of antiseptic. Pain. A deep, agonizing pain that wrapped around your body like it would never leave. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the voices. Your parents. You couldn’t open your eyes fully, but you heard them.

“Will she walk again?” Your mother’s voice, raw, desperate.

A pause. Too long. Then, the doctor’s voice, flat, measured, carefully spoken like he was trying not to shatter them completely.

“We don’t know yet.”

Not a real answer. Not the one they wanted. Silence. Your father, his voice quieter, heavier. “You mean she might n-not?”

Another pause. “We can’t say never. But the spinal damage, the nerve trauma, her body went through extreme conditions. It will be a long recovery. She may regain movement, but returning to full functionality? To racing?” He shook his head. “It’s unlikely.”

You wanted to scream. You weren’t a body. You weren’t something to assess. You were here. You could hear them. You could feel the pain, the weight of your own broken body on the hospital bed. But you couldn’t move.

Your mother’s breath hitched. “S-She just turned twenty-one..” she whispered. “She..she’s supposed to have her whole life ahead of her!! Her career. Her dreams. You’re saying that’s just- gone-“

“You’ll race again!” It wasn’t a doctor. It wasn’t your father. It was Natasha. Her voice was sharp, unwavering. Unshaken. You gasped, staggering back into reality. You blinked rapidly, hands trembling at your sides. The track was still there. The sky was still open, the wind still cool against your skin. You weren’t in that hospital bed. You weren’t trapped. You were here. Alive. Walking. Racing. And..Natasha was here, too.

You blinked rapidly, gasping as reality slammed back into you, but it wasn’t enough. The car felt too small, too tight. The air too thick. You needed to get out. Now.

Before Natasha could say anything else, you ripped off your seatbelt and shoved open the door. The rush of cool air hit you as you stumbled out, barely keeping your balance as you walked away, fast.

Your boots scraped against the asphalt as you stopped a few feet from the car, your back turned to the curve. You placed your hands on your knees, trying to breathe, trying to focus on the present, but the past kept clawing at you.

You didn’t turn around. You couldn’t, not yet. But you heard Natasha’s breath as she stepped closer, heard the patience in her voice as she spoke.

“You’re not there anymore, Y/n.”

You swallowed, your throat dry. “I..know.”

Natasha didn’t correct you, didn’t push you to turn around just yet. Instead, she took another step, coming close enough that your arms nearly brushed.

“You think this track is what almost killed you.” Natasha murmured. “But it’s not.”

You closed your eyes, your breath shaky. “You made it out.” Natasha continued. “You fought. You survived. And now…”

You felt the warmth of Natasha’s fingers grazing against yours. “You came back.”

Your chest tightened. You exhaled. Slowly, cautiously, you turned around. And this time, You didn’t look away. The fear was still there, pressing against your ribs. The memories still whispered in the back of your mind. But they weren’t pulling you under anymore. They weren’t controlling you.

“Go finish your round.”

You glanced back at the curve. Then at Natasha. She just raised a brow, her smile soft, knowing. Like she already knew your answer. You inhaled deeply. And then, you nodded.

Without a word, Natasha gestured back toward the car. And this time, you got back in. You settled into the driver’s seat, your hands firm on the wheel. Your pulse still pounded, but this time, it wasn’t from fear.

It was from something else. Determination. Natasha shut the door beside you and leaned in slightly through the open window. “You good?”

You exhaled slowly, your grip tightening. “Yeah.” Natasha studied you for a beat, green eyes sharp, assessing. Then, without another word, she stepped back. You pressed your foot to the accelerator.

The car moved. The track stretched ahead, the tires gliding smoothly over the asphalt as you built up speed. The engine hummed beneath you, steady and strong, your hands guiding the car as if it was an extension of yourself.

And then, the curve. It came into view, and for a split second, you felt the flicker of hesitation, the whisper of memories trying to crawl back in. But you didn’t let them. Not this time. Your body knew what to do. You adjusted the wheel, keeping your line smooth. You hit the apex.

And you took it cleanly. No fear. No ghosts. Just racing. As you exited the turn, your heartbeat steadied. Your breathing evened. And for the first time since the crash, it felt like yours again. The track. The moment. The control. You slowed as you reached the pit lane, pulling up where Natasha stood waiting. You let out a shaky breath, your fingers flexing against the wheel.

“Again.”

You blinked, catching your breath. “What?”

“Do another lap.” Natasha said, tilting her head. “This time, without stopping.”

You gripped the wheel and pressed your foot to the accelerator, feeling the car respond instantly. The low growl of the engine vibrated through your chest as you sped down the straight, the track stretching endlessly in front of you.

This time, it felt different. This time, there was no fear clawing at your throat. No weight pressing on your chest. No ghosts chasing you. Only you. And the car. Natasha’s words echoed in the back of your mind.

“Again. This time, without stopping.”

So you did. The corners came faster now, the rhythm of the track flowing beneath your fingertips. You moved through each turn with precision, your body and mind in sync, your breathing controlled. Like you had never left. And then, the curve.

It came up ahead, just like before. But this time, you didn’t brace for impact. You didn’t flinch. You didn’t freeze. You just took it. Clean. Smooth. Fast. You barely registered the moment you exited the turn. Because suddenly, it didn’t feel like a monster in the dark. It was just a turn.. Just a part of the track. And you had taken it like you were born for it.

You exhaled, gripping the wheel tighter as you pushed forward. One more sector. One more straight. The finish line appeared before you, this time, not a symbol of survival, but of victory. You crossed it at full speed. And for the first time in years, you felt free. The car rolled to a stop. The sudden silence was almost deafening, the echoes of the lap still buzzing in your ears.

Your hands were still on the wheel. Your heart was still pounding. But you weren’t shaking anymore. You exhaled, letting your head fall back against the seat for just a second before finally pulling yourself together. You pushed the door open, stepping out, the cool air hitting your flushed skin. You turned, and before you could even speak, Natasha was there.

Close and proud. There was no teasing remark. No smug comment. Just a look. A look that said everything. You swallowed, your throat thick. “I did it.”

Natasha’s smirk softened. “You did.”

You blinked up at her, your chest still rising and falling with the weight of everything that had just happened. Natasha studied you for a moment, and, without warning, she reached forward.

Her hands cupped your face, pulling you in. And she kissed you. Slow. Deep. Unrushed. Not like the night before, not with heat, not with hunger. But with something else. Something heavier.

Something that tasted like pride. Like relief. Like I knew you could do it. When you finally pulled apart, Natasha rested her forehead against yours, exhaling softly. “That’s my brave girl.” she murmured. You smiled, breathless. And for the first time in two years, you really believed it.

Race 23

The paddock was alive with the chaotic energy of race day. Engines roaring in the distance, mechanics scrambling over last-minute checks, media teams swarming in every direction. The tension in the air was thick, almost suffocating. But you? You had drowned it all out. Headphones in. Music blasting.

Your fingers tapped against your thigh in rhythm with the beat as you leaned against the side of the garage, eyes closed, trying to steady yourself.

Silverstone.

The track where everything almost ended. You had studied the turns, visualized every sector, forced yourself to relive the crash over and over until it didn’t hold power over you anymore.

At least, that’s what you told yourself. Natasha stood just a few feet away, arms crossed, eyes trained on you, her gaze calculating, unreadable. She was watching. And she wasn’t letting anyone interfere. Every few minutes, someone tried. Engineers, strategists, team personnel, all waiting to talk to you.

To brief you. To check in. To discuss last-minute adjustments. And every single time, Natasha stopped them. One sharp glance. One curt shake of her head. Not now. She wasn’t letting anyone break your focus. She’d made sure everything was in place. That all your data was locked in. That your team was prepped.

That you were untouchable. Until he appeared. “Still seeing the wall in your sleep?”

Your entire body went still. The music still played, but you weren’t listening anymore. Your breath hitched, hands clenching into fists. And that was when Natasha turned.

She saw the way your body stiffened. She saw your reaction. And in less than a second, she was on him. She grabbed him by the front of his race suit, shoved him backwards against the garage wall, the force of it making his head jolt.

Hard. His smirk vanished. Natasha leaned in, her voice a razor-sharp whisper. “I should have done this the moment you put her in the wall last time.”

Walker tried to mask the fear flickering in his eyes, but Natasha saw it. And she fed off it. She tightened her grip, voice deadly calm.

“You think you’re clever?” she murmured. “You think you can get in her head?”

Walker swallowed. “Romanoff-”

“I am not one of these fucking PR reps who’s going to slap you on the wrist and tell you to play nice.” Her nails dug into his race suit, jaw clenching.

Walker scoffed. “You’re losing it..”

Natasha’s lips curled into something dark. “I haven’t even started.”

Cameras were on them. Photographers had gathered outside the garage. Whispers spread like wildfire. But Natasha didn’t care. She was seething. Yelena was the first to try to pull her back. “Nat.” Her voice was sharp. “Let it go.”

But Natasha wasn’t letting go. Not yet. Not until he understood. Not until he felt what she had felt. Not until he knew, without a doubt- That if he touched you again, if he even so much as breathed the wrong way in your direction— She would end him.

“Stay the fuck away from her.”

The second you and Natasha stepped into the privacy of the team garage, the noise of the paddock muffled behind the heavy doors, the weight of what had just happened came crashing down on both of you.

Her jaw was tight, eyes burning with residual fury, her breath coming in short, sharp exhales. She was holding back. Holding everything in. Because she had lost control. And Natasha Romanoff never lost control. The second the doors shut behind you, she yanked her arm free, running a hand through her hair.

You had never seen her like this. Not like this. She had always been calm, sharp, precise. Every move calculated, every emotion locked down.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Yelena threw her hands up, her Russian accent thick with frustration. “Are you trying to get suspended before the championship? Or, I don’t know, arrested?”

Natasha didn’t react. She just stood there, silent. Yelena scoffed, shaking her head. “Jesus, Natasha.”

Then she turned to you, eyes scanning you up and down. “And you.” she muttered, gesturing vaguely. “Why the hell are you letting her act like your attack dog?”

You blinked. “I- what?”

“You know she would burn the entire paddock down for you, right?” Yelena said bluntly. “Like, full villain origin story.”

Natasha sighed. “Yelena.”

Yelena ignored her. “You have her wrapped around your little driver finger.”

Your face heated. Natasha shot her sister a warning glare. “I will kill you.”

Yelena smirked. “See? She’s in denial.”

You bit back a laugh, rubbing your face. “Can we focus on the fact that the media just saw that?”

Yelena shrugged. “Oh, yeah, you’re screwed.”

You groaned. Natasha ran a hand over her face. “How bad is it?”

Yelena pulled out her phone and tilted the screen toward you.

BREAKING NEWS: ROMANOFF EXPLODES ON WALKER IN PRE-RACE CONFRONTATION!

“Natasha Romanoff LOSES CONTROL—DRAMA before the final races!”

“TENSION RISES: WALKER VS. L/N, BUT IS ROMANOFF THE REAL FIGHT?”

Before you could say something, Your parents stepped in and Natasha’s blood ran cold. She recognized them instantly. She had met your parents once before, but this? This was different. Your father’s eyes flickered to the scene again behind him, the cameras, the tension, the way Walker was still adjusting his suit, trying to shake off the encounter.

And then? He turned back to you. He searched your face for a moment. And then, he sighed, shaking his head with a small, tired smile. “You never did back down from a fight, did you?”

Your breath hitched. You didn’t realize you had been holding it until then. And for the first time that day, You let out a laugh. Your father stepped forward and pulled you into a hug. And suddenly? You weren’t a racing driver. You weren’t the girl who had just been shoved into the spotlight again.

You weren’t the girl who had almost died here last time. You were just his daughter. And God, you had missed this. When he pulled back, he placed both hands on your shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

You hesitated. Then nodded. And he believed you. Your mother was next. She didn’t hug you. She didn’t smile. But she stepped forward. And that, alone, was enough.

“I still hate this.” The words weren’t cruel. They weren’t judgmental. They were just honest. You exhaled, nodding. “I know.”

She sighed, crossing her arms. “But.”

Your heart stuttered. “But I also know how much you love it.”

She looked at you then, really looked at you. And for the first time since your accident, she saw the joy in your eyes instead of the scars. And when she spoke again, it was softer. “Just promise me you’ll be careful this time.”

Your throat tightened. But you nodded. “I promise.”

Natasha had been standing just a few feet away. She had given you space. But now? She stepped closer, until she was by your side. Your father looked at her. Then at you. And then? A slow smirk. “Romanoff causing trouble for you?”

You let out a soft laugh. And Natasha? For the first time since she nearly killed Walker, her lips twitched into something close to a smile.

“She does that.” And for the first time, your mother didn’t argue. She just sighed. “Then I guess you two are a good match.”

The roar of the crowd was deafening as you sat in your cockpit, hands gripping the wheel with white-knuckled intensity. Even through your helmet, you could hear the thunderous energy of the fans, the commentators hyping up the moment.

“After years of fighting her way back, Y/N L/N is back at Silverstone, the very track that nearly ended her career. And now, she has a chance to take another victory here.”

“The nerves must be unreal. This is the track of her nightmare.”

You exhaled sharply, steadying yourself. This wasn’t just any race. This was Silverstone. The last stepping stone before the championship. And even more than that, it was the race. The one that left scars on your body, that nearly stole everything from you.

Your fingers twitched against the steering wheel, tension coiling in your chest. A voice crackled through the radio.

“Radio check.”

It was Natasha. Firm, steady. The only anchor keeping you from drowning in your own thoughts. You pressed the button on the wheel, your voice tight. “Copy.”

A pause. “You good?”

Your throat was dry. “I don’t know.”

Another pause. Then, softer. “Breathe, Detka. I’m right here with you.”

The Russian curled around you, grounding you. It wasn’t something she used often, only in moments like these, when she knew you needed something solid to hold onto. You inhaled deeply. Held it. Exhaled slowly.

“Just another race.” Natasha murmured, voice smooth. “Just another grid. Just another set of lights. You know what to do.”

You clenched your jaw, nodding slightly. “I know.” But before you could settle into that thought-Walker. He was right in-front of you, P1 on the grid, his presence a venomous reminder that he was still in the fight. You caught a glimpse of him over the halo of your car, his smug expression barely visible under his helmet. Even from here, you knew he was going to make this difficult.

A tap on your helmet made you turn your head, Yelena. She crouched beside your car, her green eyes searching yours. “You ready?”

You scoffed. “Yes.”

She grinned. “Good. Now go kick his ass.”

You smirked, shaking your head. “That’s the plan.”

Natasha’s voice cut through the comms again. “Grid up.”

You pulled your visor down, locked in, fingers twitching on the wheel. This was it. “Let’s hunt.”

Five red lights flickered overhead.

Five… Four… Three…

Your breath caught in your throat.

Two… One…

The world held still.

Lights out.

The explosion of sound and movement was immediate. Engines howled, tires screeched, the smell of burnt rubber filling the air as the pack lunged forward. Your reflexes kicked in, instincts sharper than thought.

“Nice start.” Natasha’s voice was smooth over the radio. “Hold it, don’t rush.”

Turn 1 was pure carnage. Cars dove aggressively, desperate to gain positions before the field settled. You barely had time to process before reacting, threading through the chaos.

Lap 3 emerging worked perfectly.

Lap 7 Box stop. Your team executed flawlessly, barely 2.4 seconds before they released you back into the fray.

“Perfect stop.” Natasha praised, her voice low in your ear.

Lap 10 Walker was directly in front of you, his car a flashing red target in your sights.

“Don’t rush it.” Natasha warned, already anticipating your aggression. “You’ll get him.”

Lap 18. Your breath stilled. The curve. The very turn that had nearly taken your life was right in front of you.

Your fingers clenched around the wheel. Flashes of the past crept in, the moment you lost control. The helpless spin. The wall rushing toward you. The sound of metal crushing.

Your vision blurred for half a second. Terror curled its fingers around your throat. “Breathe.” Natasha’s voice was softer now, private. Just for you. “You’re in control.”

Your chest rose and fell too fast. “Let it go, Y/n.” Natasha coaxed. “This track doesn’t own you anymore. You own it.”

Your breath hitched. The car rocketed toward the turn. This was it. You committed. Full throttle. The car hugged the track, smooth, controlled, perfect. No oversteer. No panic. No fear. A single tear slipped down your cheek. You did it. The pit wall erupted. Mechanics cheered, Yelena whooped in celebration.

Lap 20 You held firm, but he was defending every inch.

Lap 25 Final lap.

He lunged, reckless, aggressive. But you knew him. You baited him into Turn 6, letting him think he had the overtake. At the last second, you switched lines, cutting back perfectly. The move was flawless. You heard the frustration in Walker’s engine as he locked up behind you.

And then, the checkered flag.

“Y/N L/N WINS AT SILVERSTONE!”

Your vision blurred, heart slamming against your ribs. The radio exploded. Shouts. Cheers. Yelena screaming. “You did it.”

You exhaled sharply, swallowing the lump in your throat. You did it.. The car rolled into the pit lane. The moment you stopped, you ripped off the wheel, launching yourself out of the cockpit. A sea of bodies swallowed you, mechanics, engineers, your team, screaming, shaking you, holding you.

Natasha stood at the pit wall, arms crossed, her lips twitching at the corners. And for the first time, in front of the entire world, She smiled. And in that moment, you knew. You weren’t just fighting for yourself anymore. You were fighting for her.

And fuck..You were going to win this championship.

——

You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but when you walked into the team’s headquarters the morning after Silverstone, still buzzing from the victory, you were met with something entirely unfamiliar. Silence. No scheduled briefings. No physical drills. No mechanical debriefs. Just a single message on your phone.

“Meet me at the hangar. Be ready.”

You arrived at the hangar, dressed in your usual training gear, expecting something, anything, resembling a preparation session. But instead, Natasha was standing next to a private jet, leaning against the frame with her arms crossed, watching you approach.

Your brows furrowed. “What’s this?”

She smirked. “Your final week of training.”

You stared at her. “What does that mean?”

She pushed off the frame, stepping closer, voice softer now. “You’ve pushed yourself hard enough, detka. Now, you rest. You reset.”

You blinked. “And you’re deciding that for me?”

She arched a brow, tilting her head. “Do you trust me?”

Your heart clenched at the sincerity in her voice. You swallowed, nodding slowly. “Yes. I do.”

Her smirk returned, this time softer. “Then get in the plane.”

You followed, still confused but knowing better than to question her now. The flight was peaceful. No talk of racing, no debriefs, just the soft hum of the jet’s engines. You sat beside her, fingers drumming idly against your thigh. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

Natasha didn’t look up from her tablet, scrolling through something unreadable. “Nope.”

You huffed, shifting in your seat. “You know, normal people discuss things like this.”

She smirked but still didn’t look up. “And since when have we been normal?”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back into the plush seat. “Fair point.”

The destination remained a mystery until you landed. When you stepped out of the jet and into the warm, sea-salted air, your breath hitched. A private villa. Hidden away, far from the chaos of the racing world.

“You brought me to an island?” you asked incredulously.

Natasha just grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “You needed a reset.”

You blinked. “And your idea of resetting is a literal paradise?”

She glanced at you over her shoulder, smirking. “Would you rather be back at the track?”

You scoffed. “No. Absolutely not.”

Natasha chuckled, shaking her head. “Then shut up and enjoy it.”

For the first time in months, you woke up without an alarm. Without the weight of race strategy meetings, without the looming stress of upcoming battles. Instead, you woke up to the soft rustling of waves, the distant call of seagulls, and the scent of coffee drifting through the open villa.

And her. Natasha was sitting on the patio, her laptop open on the table, a cup of coffee in hand, her eyes flicking between the screen and the ocean. You leaned against the doorframe, watching her, arms crossing over your chest. “Do you ever stop working?”

She hummed, tilting her head in your direction but not looking away from the screen. “Do you ever stop overthinking?”

You scoffed, stepping closer. “Touché.”

She finally looked up, a small smirk tugging at her lips. “Coffee?”

You nodded, sitting down across from her. The moment you took the first sip, you exhaled, the warmth spreading through you. “Okay. Maybe this was a good idea.”

Natasha chuckled. “Told you.”

A comfortable silence settled between you, the waves providing a soothing backdrop. After a moment, Natasha leaned back, closing her laptop. “How are you feeling about Abu Dhabi?”

You hesitated, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know.”

She didn’t push. Just watched. Waited. You sighed, setting the coffee down. “I feel ready, but also… it feels different now. Everything does.”

Natasha tilted her head. “Because of the championship?”

You swallowed. “Because of you.”

The words slipped out before you could stop them. A beat of silence. Natasha’s expression didn’t change immediately, but there was something in her eyes, something soft, something unreadable. You looked away, suddenly nervous. “I mean—”

“I know.”

You met her gaze again. She exhaled slowly, like she was choosing her words carefully. “I feel it too.”

The confession was quiet. Almost vulnerable. Your breath caught. “Natasha-”

She shook her head, a small smile ghosting her lips. “Not yet. Not before the final race.”

Your chest tightened, but you understood. This..whatever this was, was too big to unpack before the championship was decided. But that didn’t stop you from reaching across the table, from sliding your fingers over hers. And Natasha didn’t stop you either.

The week passed in a haze of quiet moments. Soft touches. Unspoken words. Natasha never pushed you to talk about the race, never brought up Walker, never made you think about anything except being here.

But the night before you left for Abu Dhabi, everything shifted. You stood on the balcony, staring at the ocean, lost in thought. You felt her presence before she spoke. “You’re thinking again.”

You huffed a laugh, shaking your head. “I can’t help it.”

She moved beside you, resting her arms against the railing. “Tell me.”

You swallowed. “What if I lose?”

She didn’t even hesitate. “You won’t.”

You turned your head toward her, searching her face. “How can you be so sure?”

Natasha met your gaze, eyes burning with something fierce. “Because I know you.”

A pause. “And you’re mine.”

Your breath hitched. She turned toward you fully now, stepping closer. The tension between you snapped taut, electricity crackling in the space between. She lifted a hand, fingers brushing against your jaw. “And I don’t lose, dorogaya.”

Your pulse slammed against your ribs. And this time, this time, there were no interruptions. Her lips were on yours before you could even process it, warm, insistent, desperate. You melted into her, hands tangling in her hair, pulling her closer, needing more, needing everything.

The final race was tomorrow. The world was watching. The championship was on the line. But right now? Right now, the only thing that mattered was her. The atmosphere was electric.

Final Race

The Yas Marina Circuit in Abu Dhabi was alive with tension, the air buzzing with anticipation. Fans crowded the grandstands, waving banners, their cheers blending into the deafening roar of engines warming up in the pit lane. The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting golden hues over the track, the last race of the season set to unfold under the lights.

This was it. The championship decider.

You stood in the garage, your fireproof suit already zipped up, helmet in hand, heart pounding in your chest. You had never felt this level of pressure before—every decision, every overtake, every second would determine whether you would leave this track as a world champion.

“Welcome to the final race of the season, the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix! And what a season it has been! It all comes down to this, two contenders, one final battle, and the championship on the line!”

“That’s right! Y/N L/N and Walker have been at war all season, and now, after 23 grueling races, it all leads to this moment. Whoever finishes ahead tonight will be crowned the world champion!”

The camera feed cut to Walker, standing a few garages down, already locked in conversation with his engineers. You caught his gaze for a split second, and he smirked, giving you a mocking two-finger salute.

Your jaw clenched. Natasha, who had been standing beside you, caught the interaction immediately. “Ignore him.” Her voice was firm but steady, grounding you. “He wants to get in your head. Don’t let him.” You exhaled sharply, nodding.

The pre-race ceremony was grand. Fireworks lit up the sky, and the national anthem echoed across the circuit as drivers lined up for introductions. Cameras panned across each contender, zooming in on your face as the commentators continued hyping the moment.

“This is the most anticipated title fight in years. The young challenger versus the reigning champion. Y/N L/N has defied all odds this season, recovering from injury, fighting back from setbacks, and proving she belongs at the top.”

“And let’s not forget the woman behind her success, Natasha Romanoff, the enigmatic and ruthless team principal who rebuilt this team from the ground up. This isn’t just a battle between drivers, it’s a war between philosophies, between two teams that have fought tooth and nail to get here.”

As your name was called, the crowd erupted in cheers. Your stomach twisted with nerves, but you forced a steady breath. Then, Natasha’s hand found your lower back, just for a second, a silent reminder.

“You’re ready for this.” she murmured, barely audible over the noise. You swallowed hard, nodding.

The camera moved to Walker, his confident grin plastered across the screens. He thrived under the spotlight, waving dramatically at the crowd. The moment passed quickly, and soon, you were making your way to the car, slipping into the cockpit for the final time this season.

The formation lap was tense. The weight of the championship sat heavy on your shoulders as you weaved through the turns, warming up the tires, getting a feel for the grip under the lights. Natasha’s voice came through the radio. “Alright, Y/n. This is it. We’ve prepared for this moment all season. You know what to do.”

You exhaled. “I do.”

A pause. Then, softer “I’m proud of you.” Your chest tightened, your grip firming around the wheel. “Let’s win this.”

This was it. The moment everything had been building toward. The last race of the season. The championship on the line. The crowd was deafening, their cheers vibrating through the grandstands, but inside the cockpit, it was just you, the machine, and the voice in your ear.

“Radio check.”

You exhaled, adjusting your grip on the wheel. “Loud and clear.”

A pause. Then, her voice softened, just slightly. “You’ve fought too hard to let this slip away. Start strong. Control the pace. And bring it home.”

Your heart pounded. Natasha had never been this soft over the radio before a race. It settled something in your chest.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Lights out.

The engine screamed as you launched off the line, your tires gripping perfectly, carrying you smoothly into the first corner. You held your position, P1. Exactly where you needed to be.

Walker was right behind you.

Lap 5

Natasha’s voice crackled through the comms. “He’s pushing early. Don’t let him dictate your race. You control this.”

You kept your breathing steady. “Copy.” Walker was testing you, feinting a move on the inside, but you covered the line perfectly.

Lap 10

“Box, box.”

You dove into the pits, your crew flawless. 2.3 seconds. You rejoined the track in P3, behind two drivers who hadn’t pitted yet. Walker followed, just seconds behind.

“Cold tires. Build them up. He’s going to attack.”

Lap 15

Chaos. Two cars behind you collided violently. A massive impact. Debris scattered across the track. One car spun into the barriers at high speed.

“Safety car.”

Your grip on the wheel tightened. Your eyes flicked to the mirrors. “Are they okay?” Your voice was sharp, urgent.

A long pause. Then, “Both drivers are out of the car. Medics are on them.”

You let out a shaky breath. The race was neutralized. But the tension didn’t fade. Natasha cut in, voice steady. Grounding.

“Don’t think about it. This isn’t your past. This is your present. This is your win.”

You nodded to yourself. You were not the same driver who crashed before.You were stronger. Smarter. Better.

Lap 20

The safety car pulled in. The race was back on. You timed the restart perfectly. Walker was right there, trying to lunge up the inside, but you blocked him cleanly. He was getting desperate.

And then, Lap 27.

He made his move. Too aggressive. Too reckless. Your rear tire was clipped. The car twitched violently. Your breath stopped. For a second, you felt it happening again. The Silverstone crash. The helpless spin. Your lungs locked. Natasha’s voice was calm, urgent.

“You’ve got it. You’re in control.”

You held it. You corrected, stabilized the car. Walker was still pushing. Still desperate. “Don’t let him rattle you. You have him.” Natasha’s voice was sharp.

Lap 35

Final one. Walker lunged forward. He was too aggressive. He clipped the curb badly. His car twitched. Your eyes widened. He lost it. His car slid sideways, full speed into the barriers. A brutal impact. Carbon fiber shattered. Metal twisted.

The crowd gasped. Your lungs locked. Your voice broke through the radio. “Is he okay?!”

Silence. Then, Yelena’s voice. “He’s moving. Medical is there.”

Natasha followed, controlled but tight. “Stay focused.”

Your eyes flicked up. The finish line was ahead. One more corner. You had done it.. The realization hit you all at once. You erupted in a scream. “YEEEESSSS!” Your hands trembled on the wheel as you crossed the line, the weight of everything crashing over you.

You had won.

Not just the race. Not just the championship. You had won yourself back. The sound of your own screams of victory echoed in your ears, blending with the deafening cheers from the crowd, the roaring engines, the overwhelming rush of adrenaline that flooded every inch of your body.

Through the radio, your team was exploding with excitement, voices overlapping, Yelena’s unhinged screaming, engineers shouting your name—everyone losing their minds.

And then, Natasha. But this time, her voice wasn’t just professional. It wasn’t just the sharp, controlled guidance of your team principal. This time, she laughed. A real, genuine laugh, the sound crackling through your earpiece, warm and unfiltered.

“Jesus, Y/n, you’re insane.”

You let out a breathless laugh in return, blinking back the sting of emotion. “I fucking did it...”

Her voice softened, low, proud. “Yes, you did.” The realization hit you like a freight train. You were the world champion.

The second you parked the car, you ripped off the wheel, unstrapping yourself as fast as possible. Before your brain could even catch up, you were climbing out of the cockpit, the weight of everything crashing into you.

They were everywhere. Your mechanics swarmed you, hands grabbing your suit, shaking you, hugging you, their cheers ringing out in celebration. Tears burned at the edges of your vision. This was real. You were on top of the world.

You hugged every mechanic who got to you, arms wrapping around engineers, feeling every ounce of their pride, their joy, their belief in you. But then, your eyes flickered up. And there she was.

Standing just beyond the chaos, arms relaxed, her lips curled into a rare, small smile, her green eyes locked onto you. And that’s when you felt it. The sting of emotions rising too fast, too sharp, the sheer weight of this moment overwhelming.

Before you even realized what you were doing, your legs were moving. You ran. Straight to her. Natasha barely had time to react before you crashed into her arms. She caught you effortlessly, her hands gripping tight, holding you like she had no intention of letting go.

Your breath was ragged, your heart hammering against your ribs. You buried your face in her shoulder, inhaling the scent of her, leather, champagne, and something unmistakably her. You felt her laugh, the softest thing, as her hand slid to the back of your head, holding you close. And then, before your brain could even fully process what was happening, Natasha leaned back slightly, just enough to tilt your chin up, her eyes flickering between yours, searching.

And then, she kissed you. Right there. In front of everyone. The crowd erupted. The cameras flashed. The team roared. And none of it mattered. Because Natasha Romanoff was kissing you. Not rushed. Not hidden. Real. Raw. Completely, unapologetically hers. You melted into it, your hands gripping her suit, pulling her closer, desperate to feel every inch of this moment.

When she pulled back, her forehead pressed against yours, her breath warm against your lips. And then, she finally whispered it.

“I love you.”

You blinked, your chest tightening painfully. She had never said it before. Not once. Not when she held you after long, exhausting nights. Not when she whispered Russian against your skin. Not when her hands traced over your scars like they were sacred.

But here..in front of the world..she did. And fuck, you had never loved her more. Your fingers curled into the fabric of her race suit, your voice shaking as you whispered back.

“I love you, too.”

She smiled, a real, genuine, unguarded smile. And just as the cameras continued flashing, just as the team lost their minds, she pulled you in for another kiss. Because now, you were champions. Together.

The roar of the crowd was deafening as you made your way through the pit lane, your body still buzzing with pure, unfiltered adrenaline. Every muscle ached, every heartbeat pounded against your ribs, but none of it mattered.

You had won the fucking championship.

As you walked toward the podium, your crew and engineers lined up, cheering, clapping, some even grabbing your shoulders, shaking you with pure joy. The mechanics who had spent countless hours perfecting your car, the engineers who had studied your every move, your team, your family.

You grinned at them all, shaking hands, hugging anyone who reached for you. But then, your eyes flickered forward. Natasha Standing just beyond the team with your parents, arms crossed, her stance effortlessly composed as always. But this time, her green eyes weren’t filled with sharp calculation. They weren’t focused on data, strategy, or performance.

They were on you. And for the first time, in front of thousands of cameras, in front of the world, Natasha let herself smile. It wasn’t big. It wasn’t obvious. But to you, it was everything.

She lifted a glass of champagne, a silent toast from where she stood, her expression laced with something you’d never seen from her before, not in front of the cameras. Pride. Pure, unguarded, unmistakable pride.

Your chest tightened painfully. She was proud of you. And that? That made your throat burn more than anything. Before you could even begin to process it, an official gently tapped your arm, ushering you toward the podium. The crowd erupted as you took the steps, standing in the middle, on the highest platform. The place only one person got to stand. The champion’s place. Your team principal’s place. Natasha’s place.

Your breathing hitched as you stood there, the weight of it finally crashing over you. You had done it. Walker was a few steps below you, his expression tight, controlled. He wasn’t looking at you. Good. He didn’t matter anymore. Because this moment? This was yours.

The anthem played, the flags waved, and you felt the world shift beneath you. The bottles were handed over, the anticipation buzzing through the air. You grabbed yours, shaking it violently before popping the cork, the liquid bursting forward like a dam breaking.

And then, chaos. You turned the bottle, drenching the second-place finisher, who cursed but laughed, retaliating immediately. The third-place driver joined in, and suddenly, it was an all-out war of champagne and celebration. The golden liquid soaked your race suit, your hair, your skin. But you didn’t care. You laughed, heart soaring, the feeling unlike anything else in the world.

For a moment, you let yourself breathe. Let yourself feel it. You had climbed back from hell, from the crash that nearly ended your career, from the doubts, the nightmares, the whispers behind your back. And now? Now you were at the top.

Your eyes instinctively flickered past the cameras, past the roaring crowd. Straight to her. Natasha was still standing there, watching, her glass still in hand, her lips curled just slightly.

And this time, she lifted it higher. The acknowledgment. The silent toast. The unspoken message. Your vision blurred for half a second, but you blinked it away. And then? You did something you hadn’t planned. Something natural. You lifted your own bottle in return, mirroring her.

A toast. To the one person who had been there through it all. To Natasha fucking Romanoff.

The second you stepped down from the podium, the cameras swarmed. Questions flew at you from every direction, reporters desperate for the first statement from the new world champion.

You barely had time to process them.

“Y/n, how does it feel-”

“What a comeback! What do you have to say to your doubters-”

“What does this mean for your future-”

The questions were a blur. Your mind was still racing, your body still buzzing from the victory. “Alright, that’s enough.”

The reporters stilled. You turned, heart skipping a beat. Natasha was right there, her body angled just slightly in front of yours, the presence of a shield, a protector. And just like that, the questions stopped. Because when Natasha Romanoff spoke, people listened. She glanced over at you, her green eyes softer now, just for you.

“Let’s get you out of here.”

You nodded, exhaling softly, letting her take your hand, your fucking hand, right there, in front of everyone. The world had no idea what had just changed. But you did. And that? That was all that mattered.

The End.

-

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-

🏷️ TAGLIST: @l0nelyish @ayrtonwilbury @ima-gi--na-tion @whatthesnoodle @blackswanxzn @ivyasproperty @seventeen-x @wandanatlov3r @nebthetautora @casquinhaa @veroeuqin @1234mockingjay @artemisarroxvolkov @natashasmuse @cactuslover2600

[ivyasproperty]

Redline. pt 5 | N.R

Older!Motorsportboss!Natasha x Younger!Racing!Driver!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (N= 32, r=23), Crash, dealing with shock, 18+! MINORS DNI! Fingering, begging

Word count: 10,9k

A/N: Rewrote it several times and now have a little stomach ache about posting it…Good night! I’ll check the reactions tomorrow morning. 🫠

Natasha shoved past the pit wall, not caring about the protests, not hearing her own breathless curse as she ran towards the wreckage. By the time she reached the scene, the fire marshals were already dousing any lingering flames. And then, you.

You were moving.

A sharp wave of relief punched through her chest as she saw you push the cockpit open yourself, struggling against the stiff restraints. The front of your car was utterly decimated, debris scattered across the track. But you..God, you were standing.

Still, something was wrong. You weren’t looking at her. You weren’t even registering the chaos around you. Your eyes were locked onto your ruined car, hands trembling as though your mind was still catching up with what had happened.

Natasha was on you in an instant. You expected anger to come first, What the fuck were you thinking? Why didn’t you back off? But the words never left her lips. Because as soon as she got close enough to see past your helmet’s visor, Natasha realized the truth.

You were in shock. Your breath was coming too fast, your hands clenching and unclenching at your sides. You weren’t even trying to take your helmet off, just standing there, locked in a daze. Natasha’s voice softened, barely above a whisper. “Hey..”

Nothing. She cursed under her breath and stepped closer. This time, her hands reached for your helmet, gently unlatching it. Your fingers twitched as if you wanted to protest, but you couldn’t quite make yourself do it. Carefully, she lifted the helmet off, revealing your wide eyes, dilated pupils, skin pale beneath the grime and sweat. You blinked at her, still disoriented, but then your focus shifted back to the car.

Natasha saw it before you even moved. The way your body swayed slightly, your balance failing you. “I-I have to sit do-” You didn’t make it that far. Your knees buckled and Natasha caught you before you could hit the ground, strong arms locking around your waist.

“I’ve got you.”

The words were so uncharacteristically soft that even in your dazed state, you noticed. Natasha, who never coddled, never let an ounce of emotion slip through during a race, was holding you as if you might disappear. She helped lower you down carefully, kneeling beside you on the asphalt. One hand pressed firmly against your back to keep you upright, the other finding your wrist to check your pulse. Too fast.

“You have to look at me.” Natasha murmured, voice calm but firm. “Breathe.”

You swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself, but your body was still trembling from the adrenaline. You hadn’t even realized how hard you were shaking until Natasha’s fingers brushed against your cheek, grounding you. Her eyes, sharp and unreadable, searched yours for any sign of real injury. You felt exposed under that gaze, but for once, there was no anger, no disappointment. Just something deeper, something you didn’t dare name.

Your lips parted, voice hoarse. “I-I’m fine-”

“No.” Natasha cut you off, her grip tightening just slightly. “You’re not.”

The medics were arriving, voices blending into the background. But Natasha didn’t move. You blinked up at her, trying to focus. Trying to ignore the way your heart was racing for an entirely different reason now. “You scared the shit out of me.” she admitted, voice rough.

That caught you off guard. Your breath hitched, and for the first time since the crash, you truly looked at her. Natasha..your impossible, untouchable, ruthless boss..looked wrecked. And that, more than anything, made your chest tighten. “I didn’t mean to..” you mumbled, feeling small.

Natasha exhaled, something unreadable flickering behind her eyes. “I know.” She didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t have to. Because her hands were still on you, steadying you, refusing to let go.

And for once, you let yourself lean into it. You weren’t sure when she had stopped being just your boss and when she became the one thing anchoring you to reality. The shock was wearing off, slowly being replaced by exhaustion and a dull ache settling deep into your muscles. Your adrenaline had carried you this far, but now that it was fading, you could feel every bit of tension clawing at you.

Natasha opened the car door, guiding you carefully towards the seat. But as soon as you settled inside, your eyes flickered to the road ahead, and your stomach twisted.

The medical tent.

“No.” you muttered, straightening despite the lingering dizziness. “I don’t need this. I’m fine-”

Natasha didn’t even hesitate. “You’re going.”

You turned to her, frustration bubbling up beneath the exhaustion. “I just need a s-second, I don’t need-”

Her hand came down on your thigh, grounding you. Not hard, not forceful, just enough to make you stop. Her grip was warm even through your race suit, her thumb pressing against the fabric in a silent warning.

“Y/n..” she said, her voice lower now, quieter. Steady. That was all. Just your name. But somehow, it cut through the panic better than anything else. Your chest rose and fell too fast, your body still caught somewhere between fight and flight. But Natasha wasn’t budging. She stayed close, unwavering, her expression unreadable.

After a moment, she sighed and softened her tone. “You’re going to the tent.” she repeated, slower this time, like she was making sure you heard every word. “You can argue all you want, but I’m not letting you walk away from this without getting checked.”

You clenched your jaw. “But I’m fine.”

Natasha leaned in slightly, her face inches from yours now. “Then prove it.”

You blinked, thrown off. “If you’re fine..” she continued, “then let them check you. Get cleared, and I won’t say another word about it.”

She had you there. You could either sit and argue, or you could go through the motions and be done with it. Either way, Natasha was not backing down. You exhaled sharply, dropping your head back against the seat. “Fine.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. almost a smirk, but she said nothing as she closed the door and rounded the vehicle to get in beside you. The medical tent smelled of antiseptic and fresh gauze, bright fluorescent lights making the space feel colder than it actually was. You sat on the examination table, arms crossed, trying not to wince as a nurse ran her fingers over your ribs. Natasha was standing a few feet away, arms folded, watching everything with the sharp intensity of a hawk.

You weren’t sure if she was monitoring you or the nurse, but either way, she wasn’t leaving. “Any dizziness?” the nurse asked.

You hesitated. You could lie. But Natasha would see right through it. “Some..” you admitted, reluctantly.

The nurse hummed, continuing her assessment. “Headache?”

“Not really.”

Natasha made a sound, a short exhale through her nose, almost like she didn’t believe you. You shot her a look, but she didn’t move, just kept that unreadable expression on her face. After a few more tests, the nurse stepped back and gave you a nod. “No signs of a concussion, but I’d still suggest resting for the next twenty-four hours. You took a hard hit. Any unusual pain, dizziness, or nausea, come back immediately.”

You nodded, already hopping off the table. “Thanks-” Natasha caught your arm before you could move any further. You stilled. Her grip wasn’t tight, but it was firm. She wasn’t stopping you, just… keeping you there for a moment longer.

The nurse glanced between you two before offering Natasha a polite smile. “She’s alright. Just needs rest.”

Natasha nodded once. “Good.”

The nurse left, and suddenly, the tent was too quiet. Your legs were steady now, though your body still ached from the impact. You’re turning toward the exit. But Natasha was faster. She blocked your path, arms crossed, gaze steady. “You’re coming with me.” she said simply.

You blinked. “What?”

“I’m driving you home.”

That threw you off. Natasha never left mid-race. Ever. The woman would sooner cut off her own arm than abandon her team during a critical event.

“But the race-”

“Yelena is taking over.”

You frowned. “What?”

“She’ll handle the rest of the strategy meetings. She can manage for a few hours.” Natasha Romanoff, the most controlling, hyper-focused team principal in the paddock, was just…handing things over?

“You don’t have to do that..” you said carefully. Natasha’s expression didn’t waver. “Get in the car.” The tone left no room for argument. You hesitated, glancing past her toward the paddock. The race was still happening, mechanics scrambling, engineers glued to monitors. It felt unnatural to leave in the middle of it.

But Natasha wasn’t giving you a choice. She took a step closer, voice quieter now. “You just hit a wall at over 200 kph, dorogaya. You’re not going back to the garage like nothing happened.”

You swallowed hard at the way she said it. Low, steady, controlled. When she’s calling you darling in Russian, you knew it was serious. She didn’t wait for you to argue. Her hand wrapped around your wrist, not too tight, not too gentle, just enough to make sure you were following.

The drive was silent. The sound of the engine filled the space, smooth and controlled, a stark contrast to the chaos you’d left behind. You stared out the window, arms crossed, trying to shake the exhaustion creeping in. Natasha was focused on the road, her jaw tight, fingers wrapped around the steering wheel like she was gripping onto something unseen.

You couldn’t tell if she was mad, worried, or just thinking too much. The tension sat thick between you, heavy and unspoken. You shifted in your seat, needing something..anything, to distract yourself. You pulled out your phone and started scrolling. And, of course, it was everywhere. Every headline. Every tweet. Every article.

Another brutal crash for Y/N L/N—can she recover?

Disaster strikes again: Second crash in just a few months.

Is Y/N L/N too reckless for GT?

Your stomach twisted. Before you could keep scrolling, Natasha’s hand shot out. In one swift motion, she plucked the phone right out of your grasp.

“Hey-”

“You don’t need to see that.”

Your mouth opened to protest, but when you turned to face her, something about her expression stopped you cold. It wasn’t anger. It wasn’t frustration. It was something else. Something softer, something raw. For the first time since the crash, you saw the weight in her eyes, the worry she had been hiding under sharp commands and unwavering control.

And maybe you were too tired to fight back. You exhaled, letting your head fall back against the seat. “It’s not like it’s anything new..” you muttered.

Natasha’s fingers curled around your phone, her knuckles briefly turning white. “It’s bullshit.” she said flatly.

You let out a dry laugh. “That’s racing. People talk.”

Natasha’s jaw tightened. “Let them talk. It doesn’t change anything.”

You scoffed, turning your head toward the window. “It changes everything.”

Silence. And then, “I don’t give a damn what they say.”

Your breath hitched. You turned back to her, but she kept her eyes on the road, her grip on the steering wheel just a little tighter than before. You swallowed hard. The woman who was always pushing you harder, expecting more, never accepting less than perfection, was sitting here, telling you she didn’t care what anyone else thought. You should’ve been annoyed. Maybe even a little angry. But instead, you just felt something deep in your chest ease, just a little.

The moment Natasha pulled into the driveway of her trackside home, you knew this wasn’t just about getting you away from the chaos. This was personal. She didn’t say a word as she parked, cut the engine, and got out. You sat there for a second, staring at the darkened windows of her track, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Natasha Romanoff had left an entire Grand Prix just to drag you here.

A soft click pulled you out of your thoughts. Your door opened, and Natasha stood there, one hand gripping the edge of the frame, “Come on.” she murmured. No sharpness, no impatience. Just quiet insistence.

You sighed, unbuckling yourself, the exhaustion weighing down your every movement. She didn’t say anything as you stepped out, just stayed close enough to steady you in case you wavered. Her eyes tracked every movement, like she was still waiting for you to collapse.

You sighed. “Natasha, I’m fi-”

“Fine?” she finished, arching an eyebrow. “You’ve said that enough times today.”

You pressed your lips together. You were so damn tired. And she knew it. Wordlessly, she led the way inside. The space was just as you left it before the race: tidy, quiet, a stark contrast to the chaos at the paddock. But even here, you still felt the weight of what had happened, lingering in the back of your mind like a dull ache.

Natasha didn’t let you dwell. She brought you straight to your room, pushing the door open before standing aside to let you in. You hesitated, glancing up at her. “You don’t have to do this.” you muttered.

She met your gaze, something flickering in her eyes. “I do.” That shut you up. With a heavy sigh, you stepped inside and sank onto the edge of your bed, your muscles finally giving in to exhaustion.

Natasha lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching you closely. Then, after a beat, she reached into her pocket and pulled out your phone. She held it out to you. You blinked in surprise before taking it, the cool weight grounding in your palm. “Text your parents.” she said quietly.

You swallowed. Oh. Oh, shit. The headlines. They would have seen it by now. You hesitated, fingers hovering over the screen, then slowly started typing. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. You hit send, exhaling softly. Natasha watched the tension leave your shoulders, and something in her own posture eased, just a little.

Then, just as you thought she was about to step back, she spoke again. “I have something to take care of.”

You looked up, already sensing the shift in her tone. “Nat-”

“No.” she said, voice cold. Your stomach twisted. “You don’t have to do anything..” you said carefully. “It was just a racing incident-”

Her jaw tightened. “That wasn’t an incident.”

You swallowed hard. She took a step closer, her presence filling the space between you. “You could’ve been killed today.”

Your throat went dry. “I let you walk away, I let you tell everyone you were fine.” she continued, voice dangerously quiet. “But I am not letting him get away with that.”

You wanted to argue. To tell her it wasn’t worth it. But this wasn’t just about the crash. It was about you. And Natasha didn’t let anyone mess with what was hers. She reached for the door handle but hesitated, glancing back at you one last time.

“Rest.” she murmured, softer now. “I’ll be back soon.”

And then she was gone. You stared at the closed door, your phone still clutched in your hand. Outside, the faint sound of an engine revving echoed through the night. And for the first time since the crash, you weren’t sure who people should be more afraid of Walker…or her.

You sat there for a while, still gripping your phone, still replaying everything in your head, the crash, the impact, the way Natasha had looked at you like she’d seen a ghost. You should have been relieved. You had walked away. You were fine. So why the hell did it still feel like you couldn’t breathe?

You peeled yourself out of your race suit, wincing at the dull ache in your limbs as you stepped into the bathroom. The steam rose instantly as you turned on the water, letting it run until it was nearly scalding before stepping under the stream.

The heat hit your skin, washing away the sweat, the grime, the reminders of the race. But it didn’t wash away the feeling. No matter how much you scrubbed, no matter how hard you tried to focus on the warmth, the crash still played in your mind like a never-ending loop.

Walker’s car edging too close. The world tilting. The way your own voice had cracked. The impact. The absolute helplessness. Your fingers curled against the tiled wall, your breath coming too fast. It was fine. You were fine. So why the hell couldn’t you stop shaking?

Your knuckles turned white as you pressed your palm against the wall, grounding yourself. You weren’t scared. You had been through worse. You had crashed before, had felt the sting of losing control. But this time, it had been different. You had been different.

And Natasha had felt it too. The way she ran to you. The way her hands had trembled, just slightly as she took your helmet off. The way she had looked at you when she told you to rest..You squeezed your eyes shut, letting the water pour over you, trying to drown out the thoughts. It didn’t work. Nothing was working.

Your body still ached, your head still spun, and no matter how hard you tried to shake it, the weight of what had happened sat heavy in your chest. You hated this. You hated the helplessness. Hated the way your body refused to listen to logic. You weren’t weak. You weren’t fragile. But damn it, this shook you. And for the first time, you weren’t sure if you could shove it down and pretend otherwise.

The knock at your door was firm, but you didn’t answer. You had been lying on your bed for what felt like forever, staring at the ceiling, still damp from the shower, hair clinging to your skin. Your body ached, your chest felt hollow, and yet, you couldn’t seem to do anything but exist in this unbearable quiet.

But Natasha didn’t wait for permission. The door creaked open, and the familiar weight of her presence filled the room. You didn’t have to look to know it was her, the way she moved, controlled and quiet, the faint scent of leather and adrenaline lingering in the air.

You didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. Natasha let out a soft exhale before she finally spoke. “Walker’s been disciplined.”

You blinked slowly at the ceiling. “FIA gave him a penalty. He’ll get more points on his license, and if he pulls shit like that again, he’ll be out.” Her voice was steady, cool, but you could hear the sharp edge beneath it. The restraint.

You swallowed. You should have felt relieved. But all you felt was tired. Again. It was happening again. The crash. The headlines. The scrutiny. It’s always the same. You didn’t move, your fingers curling into the sheets. Natasha must have sensed it because she took a step closer, voice lowering.

“You don’t have to think about it now-”

“I don’t want to hear it.” you muttered.

Silence. You clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to sit up. Your chest felt tight, your pulse erratic, but you didn’t want her looking at you like this, like she was waiting for you to break.

“I don’t need you standing there like I’m about to lose my mind.” you said, voice sharper than you intended. Natasha studied you carefully, her eyes piercing through every inch of the walls you were trying so desperately to hold up.

“I didn’t say that.” she said evenly. You scoffed, pushing your hair back. “You don’t have to.” A muscle in her jaw ticked.

You could feel it coming..the spiral, the weight, the suffocating loop of thoughts you had been shoving down since the moment you stepped out of that car. You didn’t want to do this. Not in front of her.

“I get it..” you continued, voice shaking slightly. “Walker got punished, people are talking, and now I just have to deal with it.” You forced a dry laugh. “I mean, it’s not like this hasn’t happened before, right? Another crash, another round of bullshit. That’s just how it goes.”

Your fingers curled into your palms, nails digging into your skin.

“Y/n, you don’t have to-”

“It’s always the same..” Your voice cracked, frustration rising. “They talk, they judge, and then they wait, wait for the next crash, wait for the next moment I fuck up, wait to pick apart every single thing I do.”

Natasha’s eyes darkened. “And you know what the worst part is?” You let out a breathless, humorless laugh. “I let it happen. I go back out there and pretend it doesn’t get to me. I pretend like it’s not crawling under my skin. Because if I stop, if I let myself feel it-” Your throat closed up. You could feel it now. The weight pressing down, clawing at your chest. Natasha took another step forward, her voice softer now. “Y/n-”

“I can’t-” Your voice caught, and suddenly, you couldn’t hold it back anymore. The tears burned before you even realized they were there. No. No, no, no, not now.. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing them to stop, willing yourself to shove it all back down.

“I know.” Natasha murmured, barely above a whisper. And that did it. The dam broke. A sob ripped through you, shaking your entire body as you clutched the sheets beneath you. The pressure, the frustration, the helplessness, it all came crashing down at once.

You barely registered Natasha moving until she was there. Warm. Solid. Holding you. Her arms wrapped around you, pulling you against her. One hand tangled in your hair, the other pressing against your back, steady and unyielding.

You gasped against her shoulder, fists clenching in her jacket, as the sobs overtook you. You weren’t even sure what you were crying for anymore, the crash, the exhaustion, the sheer repetition of it all. All you knew was that Natasha wasn’t letting go. Not this time. She didn’t say anything, didn’t try to hush you or tell you it would be okay. She just held you.

Her grip tightened every time your body shook. Her fingers ghosted over your skin like she was grounding you, reminding you that you weren’t alone. Minutes passed. Maybe longer. Eventually, the storm faded. Your body slumped against hers, drained, exhausted. Your breath slowed, hiccupping slightly as you tried to come back to yourself.

But Natasha was still so close. And when you finally lifted your head, when your red-rimmed eyes met hers, you both stilled. The air shifted. Your breath mingled, the space between you almost nonexistent. Her hands were still on you. One resting against your back, the other hovering near your jaw, fingers brushing against your skin in a way that made your pulse stutter.

Her gaze flickered, down to your lips, just for a second, before snapping back up. And God, you could feel it. The pull. The tension. The undeniable inevitability of it. You leaned in. Or maybe she did. You weren’t sure who moved first, but the moment your noses brushed, the air thickened, heavy and intoxicating.

It would only take a second. Just one second, but then, Natasha sucked in a sharp breath. And pulled away. The cold hit you immediately as she stepped back, her hands dropping from your skin as if she had just realized what she was doing.

Her jaw clenched, her breath unsteady, and for the first time, she looked conflicted. “I-” She exhaled, running a hand through her hair, her voice quieter now. “You’re vulnerable right now.”

You blinked, the words hitting you like a slap. Your stomach twisted” I-I’m sorry-”

“You should sleep. It was a long day.” She hesitated, just for a second. But then she shook her head, her walls slamming back into place. She stepped toward the door, her hand already reaching for the handle. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

And before you could say anything else, before you could even process what the hell had just happened..She was gone.

The office was dark except for the dim glow of a desk lamp. The moment Natasha stepped inside, she exhaled sharply and headed straight for the small bar in the corner. Her hands were steady, but her mind was anything but. The whiskey burned as she poured it into a glass, but she welcomed the sting. Anything to quiet the almost still lingering between her lips.

She leaned against her desk, swirling the amber liquid, her jaw tightening as her mind replayed the moment over and over again. Too close. Too fucking close. One more second, one more breath, and she would have kissed you. And God, she wanted to and that was the problem. She clenched her jaw and took a long sip, letting the burn trail down her throat.

She had been reckless before, on the field, in battle, in life. But this? You? You were something else entirely. The door creaked open.

“Finally.”

Yelena’s voice cut through the silence, followed by the sound of her boots clicking against the floor. Natasha didn’t look up. “Not now.”

“Too bad..” Yelena muttered, crossing her arms as she stepped into the office. “We need to talk about Walker.”

Natasha took another sip, her fingers tightening around the glass. “I handled it.”

“I know.” Yelena said. “I just wanted to say..” She trailed off. Natasha could feel her younger sister’s eyes scanning the room, and then- “Oh.” The realization hit fast. Natasha could sense the smirk forming on Yelena’s face before she even turned her head.

“You’re.. drinking.”

Natasha didn’t respond. “You never drink after a race unless..” Yelena’s eyes narrowed before her lips curled into a knowing grin. “Unless something happened.”

Natasha sighed, setting the glass down harder than necessary. “Yelena-”

“Oh my God.” Yelena’s grin widened.

Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose. “Don’t.”

But it was too late. Yelena’s whole face lit up. “This isn’t about Walker, is it?” Silence. A slow, wicked smile spread across Yelena’s lips. “This is about her.” Yelena laughed. Not just any laugh, a full-body, delighted, finally-I-fucking-knew-it laugh.

Natasha’s eyes snapped up, glare sharp enough to kill, but Yelena only laughed harder.

“Oh my God, I knew it!” she cackled, leaning against the desk. “I fucking knew it!”

Natasha clenched her jaw. “Yelena-”

“You almost kissed, didn’t you?” Yelena interrupted, grinning like she had just won the lottery. Natasha didn’t answer. That was answer enough. Yelena lost it. She doubled over, shaking her head as if this was the greatest thing she had ever heard.

“Are you kidding me?!” she wheezed. “This has been coming for months!”

Natasha glared. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, I do..” Yelena shot back, still grinning. “The tension? The fighting? The glaring across the paddock? I swear, every time you two argue, it’s like watching foreplay.”

Natasha groaned, rubbing her temples. Yelena smirked, eyes still alight with amusement. “Come on, Nat..” she teased, nudging her. “You like her.”

Natasha didn’t move. Didn’t respond. Yelena’s smirk softened, just slightly. “You always like her.” she said, quieter this time. “That’s the real problem, isn’t it?” Natasha exhaled, staring at the amber liquid in her glass. She didn’t need to answer. Yelena already knew. And for the first time, Natasha hated how well her sister could see through her.

The next morning, the air in the briefing room was thick with the low hum of conversation and the scratching of pens against paper. Engineers, strategists, and key members of the team sat around the long table, all focused on the monitors displaying telemetry data, damage assessments, and projections for the next race.

Seven days. Seven days until the next Grand Prix. Seven days to fix everything that had been shattered: your car, your confidence, and whatever the hell had happened between you and Natasha last night.

You sat in your usual spot near the end of the table, arms crossed, back straight, trying to focus on the words being exchanged. The screen showed the state of your wrecked car from yesterday, the entire front end mangled from the impact. The mechanics were already deep into repairs, and a new chassis was being prepped.

“We’ll have it ready before transport to the next circuit.” one of the lead engineers assured the group. Yelena leaned back in her chair, flicking a pen between her fingers. “And where does she start on the grid?” she asked, nodding toward you.

“Depends.” your race strategist replied. “But given the new components, we should be looking at a competitive position. With the right adjustments, we can get her back at the front.”

You nodded, barely processing the words, still trying to steady yourself. Because she was here. Natasha sat at the head of the table, posture straight, fingers tapping idly against the desk as she listened to the report. But she wasn’t just listening. She was watching you. It was subtle, so subtle that if you hadn’t spent so much time around her, you might not have noticed. But you felt it. The weight of her gaze. The way her eyes flickered toward you every time someone mentioned your car. The tension in her shoulders whenever someone brought up Walker.

You should have looked away. But you didn’t. And neither did she. For a moment, the entire meeting room disappeared. The voices, the numbers, the data..it all faded into the background as you locked eyes across the table. Your fingers curled around the edge of the chair, your heart hammering against your ribs. You could still feel the ghost of last night. The way she had held you, the way she had almost-

Natasha cleared her throat and broke the stare first, looking back down at the notes in front of her. You exhaled softly, forcing yourself to focus. Yelena, sitting next to you, didn’t miss a thing. She smirked, leaning in slightly. “You two going to keep eye-fucking the entire meeting, or should we actually discuss the car?”

Your stomach dropped. Heat rushed to your face as you shot her a warning glare. “Shut up..” you muttered under your breath. Yelena grinned.

Natasha, meanwhile, remained perfectly composed..on the surface, at least. But you didn’t miss the way her fingers curled into a fist against the table, or the sharp inhale she took before adjusting her posture. The meeting went on, but the tension never left. It was still there, unspoken, heavy, and impossible to ignore. The meeting had been going on for nearly an hour, filled with data breakdowns, car repair updates, and strategy discussions.

But none of it mattered. Not really. Because the only thing that did matter was the weight of Natasha’s gaze, the way her fingers drummed against the table every time your name was mentioned, the way she was avoiding speaking to you directly. Until she wasn’t. “We need to talk about the next race.” Natasha’s voice cut through the discussion, sharp and precise.

The room went silent. You straightened slightly, fingers tightening around the edge of the chair. Natasha turned to you fully now, her expression unreadable, but her voice was steady. Too steady. “You’re getting back in the car.”

Everyone was watching you now. Waiting. You swallowed hard, pushing through the tension in your chest. “I know.”

“No.” Natasha’s voice dropped slightly. “I need to hear you say it.”

The words hung heavy in the air. You exhaled slowly, feeling the weight of her expectation, her concern, her need for you to be okay, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

“I’m racing.” you said firmly, meeting her eyes. Something flickered in them..something unreadable, something that sent a shiver down your spine. A long pause. Then, Natasha gave a single, sharp nod.

Good.” The tension in the room didn’t dissipate, but the discussion continued. Data was reviewed, strategies were finalized, and plans were set into motion. But even as the meeting went on, you couldn’t shake the way Natasha had looked at you. Like she was preparing for war. And you weren’t sure if the battle was against Walker.

The next seven days were nothing short of relentless. Every day was a battle: fixing the car, running simulations, analyzing data, and ensuring that you were mentally and physically ready to race again.

But none of that compared to the real battle. The one happening between you and Natasha. Since the night you nearly kissed, something had shifted. It wasn’t something you spoke about..God, no. If anything, both of you had gone out of your way to pretend like nothing had happened.

But it was there. In the way her eyes lingered on you just a second too long. In the way your hands brushed when she passed you a data sheet. In the way your breath hitched whenever she leaned over your shoulder, her voice low as she analyzed your sector times. In the way she snapped at other engineers who wasted your time, as if she was the only one allowed to push you that hard.

It was like walking on a knife’s edge, waiting for something, anything to happen. And yet, neither of you made a move. Not when you caught each other staring across the garage. Not when your fingers brushed over the same laptop screen. Not even when she gripped your wrist during a briefing, her touch lingering just a second too long before she realized what she was doing and let go.

Instead, the tension built. And built. And built.

The paddock was a storm of movement, media personnel swarming, cameras flashing, journalists desperate to capture the story of the day. And they all knew exactly what it was.

“After her brutal crash just last week, Y/N L/N returns to the grid for redemption. But is she ready?”

“All eyes on L/N—can she handle the pressure?”

“Walker may have gotten a penalty, but is that enough to prevent further risks on the track?”

The words echoed through the speakers as you walked toward the garage, the pre-race energy buzzing in the air. You forced yourself to ignore it. The moment you stepped inside, the outside world melted away.

Your car was ready. The mechanics had worked tirelessly, and now, it gleamed under the garage lights, waiting for you. The team was moving efficiently around you, checking final tire pressures, adjusting wing settings, ensuring everything was perfect.

And then there was her. Natasha stood at the pit wall, headset on, arms crossed, watching the live broadcast of the pre-race show. She was composed, unreadable, except for the slight clench of her jaw every time they mentioned your crash.

She turned the second she sensed you. She had that look again. The same one she had given you before the last test session. The one that told you she saw everything, every flicker of hesitation, every unspoken fear, every piece of you that was still remembering the last time you had done this.

She didn’t look away. “You’re ready.” she said, voice steady. It wasn’t a question. You swallowed, fingers twitching at your sides. “I..”

Natasha exhaled through her nose, stepping closer. “Look at me.” she murmured. And there was something in her eyes, something that made your breath catch. “You can do this.” Her voice was softer now, but no less firm. “You belong here, Y/n.”

You clenched your jaw, exhaling through your nose. “Everyone’s waiting for me to crash again.” Her grip tightened around the helmet. “Fuck them.” Natasha’s gaze hardened, her grip tightening around the helmet. “Let them talk. Let them doubt you.” She took another step, the heat of her presence suffocating, overwhelming. “You know who you are. I know who you are.”

Your throat tightened. “I wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t believe in you.” she continued, voice quieter but sharp as a blade. “You’re going to get in that car. You’re going to fight. And you’re going to win, because you can.”

Something in you shifted. It wasn’t immediate, wasn’t magic. But her words, her presence, the sheer weight of her belief in you, it settled deep in your chest, pushing back against the doubt, against the fear clawing at the edges of your mind.

Natasha lifted the helmet, tilting it slightly. Your fingers twitched as you reached for it, but she didn’t let go right away. Instead, she turned it in her hands, like she was making sure everything was perfect before handing it over. And then, instead of letting you put it on yourself, she helped you. Carefully, deliberately, she guided the helmet over your head, adjusting the fit, her fingers lingering against your jaw as she checked the strap. Her touch was soft. Almost too soft.

It sent a shiver down your spine. When she finally pulled back, her fingers brushed against your chin for half a second longer than necessary. The moment stretched, thick, electric, dangerous. She exhaled sharply, her face unreadable as she reached for your fireproof gloves. She didn’t just hand them to you.

She slid them onto your hands herself, pulling each finger snugly into place, like she needed to be sure you were completely ready. Your chest felt too tight, your pulse too fast. Finally, she nodded. “Get in the car.”

You stepped toward the cockpit, movements precise, automatic. But just before you swung your leg over the side, Natasha’s voice stopped you.

“Y/n.”

You turned back. Her green eyes burned into yours, and then she smirked. Just slightly. “Make them regret doubting you.”

A slow exhale left your lips. You nodded once. “I will.” And with that, you slid into the car, hands wrapping around the wheel, heart pounding not from fear, but from something else entirely. Something fierce. Something alive. And over the radio, just as the lights on the track began their countdown, her voice came through one last time, “Let’s hunt.”

Welcome back to the paddock, where we are moments away from lights out at today’s Grand Prix!”

“And all eyes are on Y/N L/N today. After a terrifying crash in the last race, the young driver is back on the grid, starting from P9. What a statement to make!”

“Absolutely! She’s had a phenomenal qualifying session, proving she still has the speed. But the real question is, has she fully recovered? Will the fear of another crash hold her back?”

“And let’s not forget, her rival, Walker, is starting just 4 position before in P5. After what happened last week, this could get very interesting.”

The grid was lined up. The tension in the air was suffocating, the anticipation electric. The lights above flickered one by one:

Five.

The engine beneath you rumbled, the vibrations rattling through your bones.

Four.

Your fingers flexed around the wheel, grip tightening.

Three.

The crowd was deafening, but you barely heard them.

Two.

Your heartbeat slammed against your ribs, the pulse echoing in your ears.

One.

The world held its breath. And then, Lights out. You launched off the line, the car screaming as it shot forward, the immediate chaos of the pack swallowing you whole.

Turn 1 was a battlefield. Cars dove left and right, fighting for position. You barely had a second to think before reacting, shifting your weight, holding the inside line as the chaos unfolded around you.

Someone clipped your rear tire, just a tap, just enough to make you twitch. But you held it. Your stomach clenched, your hands locked in place. Not again. You clenched your jaw and kept pushing. The first real battle came sooner than you expected.

You had climbed two positions already, slipping past rivals with aggressive but clean moves. But the next overtake wouldn’t come easy. The driver ahead—P6—was defensive, weaving down the straight, forcing you to choose a side before braking late.

You faked left. They bought it. You dove right, slipping through just in time, cutting the corner with perfection.

“Nice move.” Natasha’s voice crackled through the radio. You barely registered it, your focus already locked on the next car ahead.

Each overtake was aggressive, sharp, brutal, unforgiving. You weren’t here to play it safe. You weren’t here to wait.

And Natasha knew it. “Good pace. Keep it clean.” she said over the radio, her voice as steady as ever. You barely responded, your entire focus on the car ahead.

Lap 10.

P5.

P4.

P3.

And then.. Walker. P2 now. He was right there. Your hands tightened around the wheel. The crash flashed in your mind before you could stop it.

Walker’s car too close. Your own scream. The impact. You gritted your teeth. Not this time. You pushed. Your foot slammed onto the throttle, the engine growling in response as you overdrove into the next corner. Your tires screamed, barely gripping the edge of control, but you didn’t care.

All you saw was him. You needed to pass him. “Y/n.” Natasha’s voice cut through the radio. You ignored it. Walker was fast, but you were faster. The gap closed. Half a second. Then a quarter. You could see the back of his car right there, close enough that you could almost reach through the cockpit and rip him out of it yourself.

He wouldn’t take you out again. Your foot slammed on the throttle as you lunged forward, closing the gap, the DRS kicking in, giving you just enough speed to attempt the move. He left the inside open. Your heartbeat spiked. You sent it and in a split second, it happened. Walker turned in too soon. You were already there-

Contact. Your front wing clipped his rear tire. It wasn’t enough to take either of you out, but it was enough to cost you.

“Fifteen-second penalty for causing a collision!” the radio crackled. Your stomach dropped…Fuck.

“Pit now.” Natasha’s voice came through, calm, but not neutral. You bit down the frustration as you brought the car into the pit lane, the speed limiter kicking in, the car crawling compared to the chaos of the race.

The moment you stopped, the seconds stretched painfully long. Fifteen seconds. Fifteen seconds of nothing. Fifteen seconds of watching the field pass you by.

“What the hell are you doing?” She’s leaning down just enough to look at you directly through the car window.

Your grip on the wheel tightened. “I had the move.” you muttered. Natasha tilted her head, her green eyes sharp. “No, you didn’t.”

Silence. Your heart pounded. “You weren’t going for the position..” she said, voice dropping lower, more dangerous. “You were going for him.”

Your breath hitched. She saw it. She knew. “You think I don’t recognize it?” Natasha continued. “The rage? The recklessness?”

You stared straight ahead, your jaw clenching. “This isn’t about winning anymore.” she murmured, her voice softer now. “This is about proving something.”

A muscle in your jaw ticked. “I don’t have to prove anything.”

Natasha exhaled sharply. “Then act like it!” she said firmly. Her fingers gripped the edge of the cockpit, just barely, just enough to be grounding. “You want to beat him?” she murmured, voice dropping just for you. “Then do it the right way.”

Your chest tightened. For a moment, it felt like everything in the world had narrowed to just her, just those words, just those eyes, just that belief in you that burned through the anger in your chest.

The penalty was over. You should have gone. But for that brief second, you didn’t move. Not until she let go of the car, stepping back.

Not until she said, “Go take back what’s yours.”

Lap 15

You were last. Fifteenth place. Fifteen fucking seconds wasted. And you didn’t care. Because now, now, you were faster than ever. The rage was still there, but now it was controlled. You weren’t just fighting. You were hunting.

Lap 16: P14.

Lap 17: P12.

Lap 18: P10.

Each overtake was clean, brutal, efficient. The car was perfect. The balance was yours. “Good.” Natasha’s voice came through. “Keep going.”

Lap 19: P8.

Lap 20: P7.

The crowd was watching now.

“Jesus, she’s coming back through the field like a bullet!” the live commentary echoed.

Lap 21: P5.

Lap 22..P3.

And then.. You saw him again. The number on his rear wing burned into your vision like a target locked in place. The air between you crackled with tension, the slipstream pulling you in closer, closer, closer.

Your hands gripped the wheel so tightly your fingers ached, but you didn’t care. This was it. Your chest tightened as memories flickered, Walker’s car too close, your scream in the comms, the helpless spin, the wall rushing toward you—

No. You shoved the fear down, erased it. You weren’t that driver anymore. And this time, Walker wasn’t taking shit from you.

“Alright, you have five laps left.” Natasha’s voice crackled over the radio. “Take your time. Find the right moment.”

But you knew Walker. You knew his style, his defense, the way he always left the door open just enough to tempt an overtake before slamming it shut at the last second. You weren’t falling for it this time.

Lap 24: You faked a move down the inside into Turn 5. He bought it. Defended hard, taking a wider line, just like you knew he would. But you didn’t go for it. You let him run wide, closing the gap further instead.

“Smart.” Natasha murmured.

Lap 25: The DRS zone was coming. You had one shot. One perfect move. Or nothing. The back straight stretched ahead. You were too close now. The DRS opened, power surging, the engine screaming, the world blurring as your speed climbed.

This is it. Walker swerved, one move, legal, but barely. You anticipated it. Your eyes flickered to Turn 12 fast, dangerous, only one racing line. If you’re going to take it, you have to commit. Your breath hitched. You threw the car right, outside line. Walker reacted. Too late.

You braked later, later, the car on the edge, tires screaming, but you held it. The car stuck. You stuck. And in that split second, you were ahead.

“You got him.” Natasha’s voice burst through the radio, but the race wasn’t over yet. Walker was pushing, desperate, ruthless. You could feel him behind you, could see his car in the mirrors, but you didn’t care. You weren’t giving him an inch.

Turn 15.

Turn 16.

The car was flying, balance perfect, your mind so clear it felt like you were part of the machine itself. One more corner. One more breath. And then..The checkered flag.

The radio erupted, the team roaring, your own breath shaking as the realization crashed into you.

“Y/N L/N WINS THE GRAND PRIX!”

Your hands trembled on the wheel. You did it. You fucking did it. And through the chaos, through the sound of the world losing its mind, Natasha’s voice came through.

“That’s my driver.”

Your hands were shaking on the wheel, the adrenaline still coursing through your veins, your body vibrating with the sheer force of what had just happened. You had won. Not just the race. You had won yourself back.

“Fucking incredible drive, Y/N!” your race engineer shouted over the radio, his voice barely audible over the roar of the crowd. “What a comeback!”

The grandstands were thunderous, the entire circuit erupting as the reality of your victory sank in. But none of it compared to your team. Through the visor, you could already see them, gathered at the pit wall, fists pumping, mechanics jumping onto each other’s shoulders, pure euphoria radiating from them.

And somewhere in the chaos, Natasha. Standing behind the pit crew, arms crossed, but her smile..God, that smile, was visible even from the cockpit. Your chest tightened, your breath coming in short, exhilarated gasps.

“Bring it to P1, Y/n.” Natasha’s voice came through, lighter than you’d ever heard it. “Then get your ass out of that car and celebrate.”

You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head as you guided the car through the cool-down lap, your heartbeat still pounding.

“On my way, boss.”

As you pulled into the designated stop, the team was already climbing over the barriers, their bodies packed together in a frenzy of victory. The second the car came to a halt, you didn’t think. You threw off the wheel, ripped your belts loose, and jumped out of the cockpit like you’d been set on fire.

The moment your feet hit the ground, you turned and ran. Straight into the arms of your crew. The mechanics caught you mid-air, your body disappearing into the sea of hands, laughter, and pure fucking joy.

They were screaming, shaking you, slapping your back, gripping your shoulders as if they couldn’t believe it was real. “HOLY SHIT, Y/N!”

“SHE DID IT! SHE FUCKING DID IT!”

“THAT WAS INSANE!”

You let out a giddy laugh, arms flailing as they pushed and pulled at you, each one desperate to congratulate you. One of the engineers grabbed your helmet and yanked it off, and the moment the fresh air hit your face, you let out a roar, pumping your fists into the air, the rush of it all making you dizzy with ecstasy.

You barely registered the cameras flashing, the broadcasters yelling into their microphones. None of it mattered. Because this, this overwhelming, uncontrollable flood of joy, was everything.

And then..You saw her. She wasn’t in the center of the chaos. She stood just behind the pit wall, arms still crossed, her expression composed, at least, to everyone else. But you saw it. The way her lips twitched, fighting a full smile. The way her chest rose and fell, like she was steadying herself. The way her eyes softened, just slightly, the moment they met yours.

Something inside you shifted. For a split second, everything else, the cameras, the shouting, the flashing lights, disappeared. It was just her. Just the two of you. And for the first time since the race began..since before that, since the almost, since the everything-

You let yourself feel it. The adrenaline. The victory. The weight of her gaze on you. Your chest heaved. Your body still buzzing with energy, you took a step forward-

But just then, someone grabbed you, another mechanic pulling you into another celebratory hug, breaking the moment. And when you looked back, Natasha was gone.

The second you stepped onto the podium, the energy of the crowd hit you like a tidal wave. The champagne bottles popped, the roar of the fans blending with the flashing lights, the cameras capturing every second of your victory.

It was chaos. Beautiful, reckless chaos. You could barely hear yourself think as the mechanics pulled you into another round of hugs, the engineers cheering, even Yelena wrapping an arm around your shoulders and shaking you violently with pure pride.

The adrenaline hadn’t worn off, not even after the press conference, the interviews, or the moment you saw your name officially at the top of the championship standings. For the first time in a long time..you won. But even through the celebrations, through the waves of congratulations, champagne, and endless cheering-

You felt it. The weight of something unfinished. Because this wasn’t the end. It was just the second race of the season. And there were still 22 races to go.

By the time the paddock had settled, the celebration had moved, to the team’s private lounge, deep in the heart of the circuit’s hospitality center. The place was alive, filled with laughter, clinking glasses, and the undeniable high of victory. The mechanics were already a few drinks in, celebrating like they’d just won the championship itself.

Yelena had made it her personal mission to keep the drinks flowing, practically forcing a bottle of champagne into your hands.

“Come on, golden girl.” she teased, nudging you. “You actually did it. Time to celebrate!”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I am celebrating.”

“Not enough.” she countered, tilting the bottle toward your glass. “Drink.”

You rolled your eyes but took a sip anyway, the sharp fizz burning against your lips. And then, You felt her before you saw her. The pull was unmistakable. You turned- And there she was. Natasha stood near the edge of the room, her expression calm, drink in hand, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting shadows over her face.

She wasn’t celebrating like the others. She was watching. You. Your pulse stuttered. Because there it was again. That same tension. That same unspoken thing that had been lingering since before the race. Since the almost..You swallowed hard, setting your drink down.

Your feet moved before your mind caught up. You crossed the room, weaving through the crowd, until you were right there, in front of her, the noise of the party fading into the background.

She tilted her head slightly, lips curving in something that wasn’t quite a smile. “Not enjoying the celebration?” you asked, voice softer than you intended.

Natasha’s eyes flickered over you, lingering for a second too long. “I am.” she murmured. “Just..observing.”

Your heart twisted. Because you knew her well enough to know that wasn’t the whole truth. She was thinking. Calculating.

And feeling, more than she wanted to admit. You exhaled, shifting closer. “Natasha-”

She cut you off. “You drove like hell today.” she said, voice low. “You fought like hell.” Something in her tone made your breath catch. “But.” she continued, softer now, “it’s not over.”

And just like that, the weight of it all crashed back down on you. The victory. The adrenaline. The illusion of finality. But she was right. It wasn’t over. There were still 22 races to go. Your grip on your drink tightened, the celebration suddenly feeling distant. “Yeah..” you muttered, exhaling slowly. “I know.”

Natasha’s eyes softened, just a little. She lifted her drink slightly, her gaze locked onto yours. “Then enjoy this one.” she murmured, her voice dipping just enough to make your chest tighten. “While it lasts.” You swallowed hard, clinking your glass against hers, the taste of champagne still lingering on your lips. But even as the party went on, as the laughter and music filled the night. You both knew the truth. The fight was just beginning.

The next ten races were a rollercoaster of emotion, grit, and war. If the second race had been about proving yourself, the next ten were about survival. Every lap, every overtake, every mistake and triumph was a battle..not just against the other drivers, but against your own mind, against the past, against the unrelenting pressure that came with leading the charge in the championship fight.

And through it all, Natasha was there. Watching. Calculating. Pushing you to your absolute limits.

And Walker? Walker was waiting. He wasn’t finished with you yet. The third race was a fight. You started P3, behind Walker and another rival. The car felt perfect, the balance just right, and by Lap 20, you were leading.

It was yours to win. Until- “Puncture! Rear left!” The words hit your radio like a gunshot. No. Your heart plummeted as the car twitched, the tire barely holding on as you limped back to the pits.

By the time the crew slapped on fresh rubber, you had dropped to P7. Your jaw locked, your breath ragged.

“Head down, recover.” Natasha’s voice cut through the noise. You pushed. You fought your way back to P3, but Walker won. And in the post-race press conference, he made sure to remind you of it.

“Bad luck out there, Y/n.” he said, his smirk just mocking enough to make your blood boil. “But hey, at least you’re getting used to fighting your way back up the grid.” You clenched your fists. It wasn’t over. Not even close.

Race 13

You didn’t just win. You dominated. Walker had pole, but you took him into Turn 1, clean, precise, unstoppable. Natasha’s voice over the radio was pure steel.

“Now hold it.”

And you did. For 58 perfect laps, you controlled the race, crossing the finish line five seconds ahead of the entire field.

Walker barely made it to P4.

And this time, when the cameras flashed, you smirked at him first. Headlines read:

“L/N vs. Walker: A Battle for the Ages”

“Two Titans, One Championship”

The tension between you and Walker was all-consuming, turning every press conference, every overtaking battle, every glance into something that felt like war.

The championship lead was shifting constantly. One race, you had it. The next? Walker stole it back. And with every lap, every podium, every single fucking mistake, Natasha’s grip on you tightened. Because she knew, just as well as you did. If you let anything slip now, it was over.

The media loved talking about race days. The victories, the mistakes, the rivalries. But no one ever talked about the days in between. The seven days between races, where the real battle happened.

Because those were the days Natasha broke you down. Mornings? Training so hard your muscles screamed. Cardio, weightlifting, reaction drills—pushing your endurance to the limit. Afternoons? Simulator sessions, lap after lap, perfecting every single braking zone, every racing line, every overtaking strategy. Evenings? Race debriefs, where Natasha sat across from you, arms crossed, green eyes pinning you in place as she tore apart every mistake you made.

“You should’ve covered the inside on Lap 42.”

“You hesitated in sector two.”

“If you let Walker get in your head, you’ll lose everything.”

It was ruthless. It was relentless. And yet, somehow it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart. Because she never let you break. No matter how close you came to shattering, no matter how exhausted you were..She never let you give up.

And that? That scared you more than anything. Because it meant she cared. And neither of you were ready for that conversation. The Unspoken Shift - Natasha, Closer Than Ever.

Race 18

The ride back to the track was silent. Painfully, suffocatingly silent. Natasha’s grip on the wheel was tight, her knuckles white. Her jaw was clenched so hard you thought it might break. You wanted to speak. Wanted to say something..anything. To explain, to defend yourself, to apologize.

The second the race ended, you knew you were in trouble. Not because of the result, you had still finished. Not because you had lost, because technically, you hadn’t. But because of how you raced. Because you had ignored Natasha’s orders. Because you had pushed too hard, took too many risks, fought too recklessly..

And Natasha? Natasha had seen all of it. The team felt the tension the moment you rolled into the garage. The air was thick, charged, dangerous. You knew you had pushed her too far this time. You had ignored every single call over the radio. You had fought her instead of Walker.

And now? Now she was so furious, so cold, so quiet, it almost scared you more than if she had just started screaming. You swallowed, exhaling sharply. “Nata-

“Don’t.” Her voice was low, firm, cutting off whatever you were about to say. You clenched your jaw, sinking into your seat, the weight of it settling over your chest. You wanted to apologize. But she didn’t want to hear it. Not yet. And as the car rolled into the facility, as she pulled into her usual spot with precise, controlled movements, you knew..

The worst was still coming. The door in her office slammed shut behind you. And then? Natasha lost it. “What the fuck was that?!”

Her voice cut through the air like a gunshot. You barely had time to process it before she was on you, her fury crashing into you like a hurricane.

“Do you have a death wish?!”

Your chest heaved, adrenaline still pumping through your veins. “I-”

“No, Shut up!”

Your breath hitched. Her tone was dangerous now, low, firm, absolute. She took a step forward. Then another. Until she was so close, you could feel the heat rolling off her skin. “You think you’re unstoppable?” she demanded. “You think you can just ignore orders? Disobey me? Throw yourself into battles you can’t fucking win?!”

Your stomach twisted. “I was racing! I-”

“No, you were fucking reckless!”

The words hit hard. Too hard. Your hands clenched into fists, your body coiling with frustration. “I was fighting-

“You were out of control!”

Natasha’s voice rose, her green eyes flashing, her entire body taut with rage. “Do you even realize how close you were to wrecking the car? To wrecking yourself?”

Your pulse spiked. “I knew what I was doing!”

“No. You didn’t.” Her voice lowered, rough, almost dangerous. “You let him get inside your head.”

Your breath caught. Because that was the truth. And you hated it. Your fingers dug into your palms, your jaw tightening, burning with anger, with shame, with something else entirely.

And Natasha? She saw all of it. Her breathing was uneven now. Her shoulders tight. Her chest rising and falling just as fast as yours.

The air between you crackled..so thick, so charged, so suffocatingly tense, “You don’t get to fight me on this, Y/n.”

Your body froze. Your heart slammed against your ribs. Because it wasn’t just a command. It was a warning. You swallowed, breath shaky, eyes locked onto hers. “Natasha-“

“You don’t get to argue with me.” Her voice was lower now, dangerous, daring you to push her further. Your pulse skipped. You should have backed down. You should have stepped away.

But you didn’t. “Please..”

A muscle in her jaw ticked. And then, She kissed you. Hard and Punishing. A lesson. A correction. A reminder of exactly who was in control. You gasped against her mouth, but she didn’t let you pull away. She owned you. Her hands slid down your sides, gripping your hips, pulling you against her, your body melting into hers.

You moaned into her mouth, and she devoured the sound. Your back hit the desk, papers scattering everywhere, but neither of you cared. Her hands roamed your body, possessive, taking exactly what she wanted.

Her teeth scraped against your lip, and you whimpered, gripping her tighter, pulling her closer, needing more, more, more. She was everywhere. All fire and control and dominance, and you were drowning in it. She broke the kiss just long enough to murmur, “You drive me crazy, do you even realize that?”

Your body burning from the inside out. And then she kissed you again. And this time? Neither of you were stopping. Your breath hitched as she dragged your racing suit down your body, the cool air hitting your flushed skin.

Natasha didn’t hesitate. Her hands gripped your thighs, spreading you wide, her gaze hungry, demanding. “Look at you.” she murmured, her fingers teasing, barely touching, making you squirm.

“So fucking stubborn. So fucking desperate, even when you pretend not to be.” Your hips bucked involuntarily, chasing friction, but she held you down, denying you.

“There you go..” she taunted, her pace slow but ruthless, her fingers curling inside you in a way that made your entire body tremble.

“Still think you don’t need to listen to me?”

Your hands gripped her shoulders, your nails digging into her skin, trying to ground yourself. “F-Fuck-”

She growled at the sensation, loving the way your body clung to hers, resisting but so goddamn weak for her at the same time. “Say it.” she demanded, her voice low, wrecked, dripping with authority. “Say you fucking obey me.”

You shook your head, your lips parted, gasping for breath, still fighting her. “I—N-Natasha, I—”

She thrust deeper, her other hand gripping your throat, tilting your head back so she could watch you completely fall apart beneath her.

“Say it, Y/n..”

Her pace increased, her fingers relentless, knowing exactly how to unravel you. Your eyes squeezed shut, your body tightening around her, fighting the pleasure overtaking you.

“I-I obey—fuck, I obey you, Natasha—”

Natasha let out a wrecked groan, her lips crashing onto yours, swallowing your surrender. “That’s my girl.” she murmured against your lips, moaning as she felt you shudder beneath her.

“Now take it.” She didn’t stop. Didn’t slow down. Didn’t let you breathe. Her body hovered over yours, pressing into you, her fingers curling inside you just right, her lips ghosting over your jaw.

“You’re mine..” she whispered, her voice possessive, dark, full of something uncontrollable. “Say it again.”

Your head tilted back, your moans breaking into wrecked sobs, your hands clutching her shoulders like she was the only thing keeping you grounded.

“I’m yours, Natasha—fuck, I’m yours—”

Her pace increased, dragging you higher, higher, until you couldn’t hold on anymore. “Come for me, Detka..” she commanded, her voice raw, her fingers working you over the edge. “Now.”

And fuck, you did. Your orgasm ripped through you violently, your body arching, convulsing, completely lost in her. Natasha let out a guttural moan, her forehead pressing against yours, holding you through it, keeping you safe even as she completely wrecked you.

“Good girl.” she whispered, pressing kisses to your jaw, your cheeks, your lips. “You did so good for me, detka.”

Your body was still trembling, your breath uneven, shattered. Natasha didn’t let go. She stayed pressed against you, her arms wrapping around your waist, her lips leaving soft, grounding kisses along your skin.

“Still think you don’t need to listen to me?” she teased, her voice low, adoring, but still smug. You let out a weak, breathless laugh, your fingers trailing up her arms, holding onto her.

“Guess I had to learn the hard way..” you murmured, voice still wrecked, but teasing. Natasha smirked, pressing another kiss to your lips, slow, deep, full of something more.

-

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🏷️ Taglist: @l0nelyish @ayrtonwilbury @ima-gi--na-tion @whatthesnoodle @blackswanxzn @ivyasproperty @seventeen-x @wandanatlov3r @nebthetautora @casquinhaa @veroeuqin @1234mockingjay @artemisarroxvolkov @natashasmuse

[ivyasproperty]

[ivyasproperty]

JUST TOO MUCH

pairing: billie eilish x fem!reader

synopsis: na, requested

warnings: one swear word, comfort fluff, menstruation, mentions in passing of v*mit, not proofread

wordcount: 0.8k

a/n: na

if the day hadn't started out shitty enough already, you were in for a horrible ride.

you were lying on your side, head propped up on the armrest of the couch and basically snapping your neck in search of a position comfortable enough to soothe the growing pain in your uterus. your hands press down on a point just below your stomach but it does little to alleviate your discomfort.

you feel like you're about to be sick: there's a headache tingling in the very back of your brain; your throat had closed up in preparation for possible sick; and your body was simply too heavy to move around.

billie sits at your feet on the couch, scrolling through her phone and periodically checking on you every time you let out a groan, which, really, was every two minutes. "you okay, love?" her brows knit in concern when you shift to the other side and curl into a ball. "that bad?"

you nod, however it wasn't visible to her due to you being buried deep beneath a blanket. "i want to stop existing completely."

she laughs softly at that, "well, now. that's a little dramatic of you, isn't it?"

you know she didn't mean anything by it. it's obvious from her light-hearted tone, and the bright smile on her face as she reaches out to softly caress your leg, but your eyes prickle with tears anyway.

for whatever reason your mind had subconsciously decided to take the statement personally, and hot tears roll down your cheeks. and then you were angry for crying over a simple, stupid joke. and then you were annoyed at billie for saying it in the first place, followed by resentment towards yourself for feeling negatively towards your girlfriend over something as small as a joke.

eventually it evolves into a carousel of emotions, each one negative and directed at everything and everyone and yourself. the smile slowly slips off of billie's face, noticing the deafening silence that came after she opened her mouth.

"baby?" no reply, just a quiet sniffle. "are you okay? does it hurt?"

you continue to ignore her, screwing your eyes shut and then blinking them rapidly in an attempt to stop the tears uselessly running down your face. now you were annoyed at that too — adding to the discomfort in your lower region, the side of your face was wet from the pool of tears you'd shed on the seat cushion.

your girlfriend, worried now, stands up, moving closer to gently peel away the blanket from your face and catching a glimpse of your reddened eyes and nose before you yanked the cloth back over you.

"oh, honey, no," she cringes at herself. billie drops to her knees on the floor to be on level with you. "is it what i said? i'm sorry, baby, i forgot how you get."

whoops. she should've phrased that differently. you whine in irritation at her words, causing her to take them back quicker than she'd mindlessly let them go.

"no, that's not what i meant!" billie adds hastily. "everyone's a little down when they're on their cycle and i totally understand. i'm sorry, my love, please forgive me?"

you're turned away from her, but you could hear the pout in her voice. you knew she was beating herself up for her fumble in her head, and you hated that, but even though the more intense of the negative emotions had gone away, you weren't quite ready to be all touchy and lovey-dovey.

oh, but how quickly you retract that thought when you feel a soft pair of lips pressing onto your temple. a softer hand snakes beneath your blanket to stroke your arm, up and down, rhythmically.

she repeats this pattern for a while.

up stroke. down stroke. kiss. up stroke. down stroke. double kiss.

"you wanna move to the bedroom?" she finally whispers. "my knees are about to be bruised, sweet girl. i want to cuddle you."

you huff, rejecting her, but you couldn't resist her soothing actions and silky words any longer. "fine." your voice is small, trying hard to sound disinterested, but billie's face brightens in triumph. she hooks an arm under your knees and carries you bridal-style to your shared room.

she lays you down gently, ridding herself of her slippers and getting comfortable beside you. billie wraps her arm around your waist, providing the extra heat you need. she pushes herself up to lean over and kiss you shortly on the lips and once more on your forehead before laying back down and cuddling you properly.

"i love you." she mutters in your ear, kissing the space behind your ear.

"mmhmm," you murmur back, words slurring as sleep turns your lids heavy. "love you too..."

as you're set free from the torture of cramps and the ache, billie stands guard, ready to comfort you if need be. and ready to run faster than a track athlete if you ever had any cravings.

[ivyasproperty]

FACE REVEAL

GIRL WHAT 😭😭😭😭

[ivyasproperty]

Light In The Dark.

wanda.m x fem!avenger!reader

summary — you've always had problems with your eyes, so why is it there's something, specifically someone standing so brightly in front of you?

warning(s) : idfk im too tired to check

word count : 2.1k

A/N : took a 2 month break bc i was lazy oops </3, i also didnt know wtf to call the aura so i called it spiritual powers teehee

You were born with a mysterious disease that not even the worlds best doctors could diagnose, you knew this since you were a a toddler, and yet, you couldn't help but get frustrated every time it passed your mind.

Your disease was special, it messed with your eye sight. Yes, you could see, but in your eyes, everything was in a darker hue. What was supposed to be the crystal blue sky on a sunny day, looked like a rainstorm during night.

So of course it made sense you were frustrated, your disease has affected your life is so many ways. You've lost jobs at café's or restaurants for not being able to see the menu, the pages being too dark to see the words written across it, you've lost jobs at business companies, bosses complaining your progress was too slow. Sure the glowing white light from the computer helped, but only slightly.

And so of course you were surprised when Nick Fury, founder of SHIELD, presented an opportunity for you to join the Avengers. You were hesitant at first, not understanding why they'd invite a person like you. But you were then informed that your powers, that being your hindered eye sight, could detect spiritual power. You were confused... spiritual power? How the hell were you supposed to detect that?

As if reading your mind, the one-eyed man told you that a person who possessed spiritual power would emit an aura that only you would be able to see. The more spiritual power that person had, the brighter the aura would be. He explained you would be a useful asset to recruiting more people, be it for the Avengers, or SHIELD.

You didn't like the feeling of being a tool to recruit more people, so you were about to decline, but then brought up the monthly paycheck you'd make if you were to accept. Well..... how could someone refuse THAT amount of money am I right? ( i imagine it to be maybe 10k-15k usd per month ^^ )

ᯓ★

Your first day on the job wasn't bad per say, but it was definitely hectic. The Avengers compound was so far away from where you lived, you had to wake up 2 hours earlier than you usually do to arrived at a reasonable time. It wasn't just that, the compound was so big, you had troubles navigating through the damn building, and with your shitty eye sight, you ran into multiple walls, causing you to rest for awhile and wasting even more time. Curse Stark and his big ass building.

After FINALLY arriving at the lounge room of the compound, you were surprised to see all members of the Avengers lined up in a line facing towards the entrance, as if waiting for you to arrive. Standing in front of them was a familiar figure, one you've come to recognise as Nick Fury.

As if sensing your presence, he turned around and gave what you think was a grin, you couldn't tell, all you could see was pitch black because of your disease.

Introducing yourself was another issue, even with the shiny blonde hair that Steve Rogers and Thor Odinsson had, it was hard to distinguish their faces. You had to squint your eyes to see if a person was standing in front of you or not.

After introducing yourself to Natasha Romanoff, the black widow, it was on to the next and final person, one you've heard on the news multiple times. Wanda Maximoff, also known as the Scarlett Witch. She was just a few years older than you, so you were expecting a shy girl, what you weren't expecting was a bright red light shining around her figure. You covered your eyes, wanting and needing to block out the light to not damage your already damaged eyes.

After getting used to the shine, you let your hands fall to your sides, her features were something you've never seen before, which was ironic since you could barely make out people's faces. She had emerald green eyes, scarlet hair and light freckles adorned her cheeks. She was ethereal, you thought.

You were about to let go of her hand after shaking it when it hit you. Did you just explain her features in detail? But how? You could barely see anything. You looked back up at her face, and your eyes widened at how normal she looked. Nothing about her was a dark color, it was basically your first time seeing colors so bright.

You didn't notice the poor woman getting nervous under your gaze, 'is there something on my face?' she thought to herself. But before she could ask the question that she recited in her mind, she saw Fury tapping your shoulder, affectively breaking you out of your stupor.

"Sorry.." you murmured, "I've just never seen a face with such bright colors before. You know, with my disease and all...." You hated how shy you sounded, it was as if you were a petite girl getting caught for sticking her hand in the cookie jar.

"It's fine!" she enthusiastically said, she felt at ease after finding out the reason for your blatant staring. "Your names Y/N right? I hope we can be good friends." You hoped so too.

ᯓ★

You were settling in nicely. After being here for around 5 months, you've realised a lot more things about yourself. Who would've thought you'd be so good at sparring? Well at least yo were when against Steve, you'd never be able to beat Natasha. And who would've thought you were able to work out complicated biotech with Stark? Certainly not you. Who would've thought your heart would start pounding whenever Wanda Maximoff was around? Who would've tho- wait what? Your heart pounds whenever Wanda is around? You stopped in your tracks after the thought came into mind.

'I like Wanda?' you thought to yourself, 'That can't be, sure I'm always flustered around her and always crave to be around her, but that doesn't mean I have a crush on her! Right?' you asked yourself. 'Right?'

"Right about what, malysh?", you'd recognise that nickname from miles away. "It's nothing wands, somethings on my mind is all." "Penny for your thoughts then?", you couldn't help but giggle at her words, yo don't know why. "It'd be my pleasure."

"Is it about your powers? Oh! Maybe about how you'd finally beat Natasha at sparring?", her words were filled with excitement as she asked you questions.

"Ouch, Wands. To be clear I've beaten Natasha before..... at everything except what she's good at. And no it's nothing you've listed." you replied.

"Whatever you say malysh, so what's on your mind? Let me guess! Let me guess! Uhm...."

You giggled at her excited tone, your lips instantly pulling up into a smile whenever she showed you this side of her. Wanda was still fairly new to the Avengers, sure she was friends with all the members but she was closest to you. You felt fluttering in your stomach at the thought.

But, what if she eventually finds out about the pathetic crush you have on her? You've noticed the way she looks at vision, you don't know what he has that you don't, because you can't even tell what he looks like. Is he good looking? Handsome? Cute? But you did hear Clint muttering something about him having red skin.....

Back on the matter, you were worried, worried about how she'd react, would she like you back? Or would a disgusted look be plastered onto her goddess like features?

Even in stressful situations like this, you couldn't help but find Wanda beautiful. Her face got brighter day by day, the aura surrounding her getting brighter and brighter, showing that she was getting stronger too. You admired her for that.

You looked back in front of you, trying to avoid Wanda's piercing gaze as she tries to guess what's on your mind. What you didn't know was that Wanda had read your mind. She felt guilty, she promised you she'd never do anything like that to you. It was an invasion of privacy. But your thoughts were so loud! They were practically spewing out of your mind!

She couldn't help the blush that rose upon her cheeks at finding out about your crush on her. She herself was also finding it hard to come to light about her feeling towards you. Yes, she felt an undeniable pull between her and vision but her heart pounded in a different way when she was in your presence. She felt the stress ebb away from her body when she was able to rant to you about your problems.

It wasn't until you finally reached your destination, that being your room, that you stopped Wanda's rambling. "It's nothing to worry about Wands, just figuring things out is all."

And just as you were about to close your room door after entering, Wanda hurriedly jammed her foot between the door and your doorframe, wincing at the pain that she had willingly put herself through. To say you were shocked at her action was an understatement. "Are you alright?!" you half shouted, "You could hurt yourself doing that!" "I'm fine malysh. I just.... I just need a moment with you." she panted between breaths.

'A moment? With me? Did something happen? What's going on?' . you pondered as you entered your room, Wanda following behind you. "What's wrong Wands? Your face is really red. Like, REALLY red. And you can tell it's bad when even I can see a color as bright as that.", your worried tone warmed Wanda's heart. 'All I want to do right now is kiss that worried face of yours away.' she thought to herself. Well atleast she thinks she did.

"Y-you wanna what to my face away?", you asked, bewildered at the fact she just said that aloud. "Hm?", Wanda was still oblivious, it took a few seconds for her to realise what had just happened, and of course, her face turned as red as a tomato, at this point it was hard to differentiate the color of her face and her hair, they were almost the same.

"I-I'm so sorry, malysh! It just slipped out! I didn't mean it— well I DID, but I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable!-", you could feel your heart pumping wildly against your chest, what does she mean she means what she said? Does she want to kiss you? No that couldn't be it, but then what could she mean? I mean if she did, you wouldn't be complaining.

"Malysh? Are you listening? You know what i'll get straight to the reason why I wanted to talk, I like you, okay? Y/N? Y/N listen to me!" You were still in your own world, asking yourself question when Wanda suddenly started shaking your shoulders and was repeating the same sentence over and over again.

"Wait, hold on a second Wands. You like me? You?" you asked incredulously, as if she hadn't said it a dozen times already.

"Yes, stupid! I like you! Are you gonna say anything? Y/N? God....", she felt frustrated, and rightfully so. Your mind was still trying to process what she said, and after doing so your face turned to what you think is a bright red.

"Oh! That's.... that's cool! Yeah! I... I just......", you were a stuttering mess under Wanda's watchful gaze, and you felt panic rise within you when you noticed an upset look spread across her face. Wanda had took your stuttering as you being uncomfortable, and tried to talk her way out of the topic at hand when you suddenly cut her off before she could even say anything.

"I like you too! Okay! I just, I have a hard time expressing it.... 'M just shocked is all....", the words finally left your mouth in a hurried sentence.

"Why would you ever be shocked, malysh?", Wanda was confused, did you not notice her liking towards you?

"It's just, you're like a goddess Wands. You're beautiful, cheerful and powerful. I don't understand why you'd be with someone like me, someone who can't even see things properly."

"Well you can see me perfectly fine, no?"

"That's different, Wands."

"How so, Y/N/N? I don't care if you have problems seeing, malysh. Hell, I wouldn't even care if you were blind! I like you because you're you. And I like you, okay?"

You were processing her words, still trying to tell if she was saying it for fun or not, but when you realised she wasn't, you wrapped your arms around her frame.

"Woah! Calm down there, malysh. Still need to breathe." she chuckled. But you couldn't care less. She finally liked you back. You finally got your girl. You finally got the light in the dark.

A/N : if im being honest, i fucking hate this. i thought that maybe if i went with the flow it'd come out okay but at this point its just nonsense, but anywayyy!!! hope you enjoyed this one! feel free to leave requests!!!!

[ivyasproperty]

Best thing I’ve read in awhile omg

I GIGGLED SO HARD 😖

𐙚 I'D RATHER DIE ALONE, TOGETHER

(really random scenario... bear with me cus this is terrible 💔)

Smoke surrounded you. The smell of it made you cough, and you took in what you thought would be your last breath of fresh air. The fire was all around you, burning each and every leaf off of all the trees in the valley. There was no escape. Fire was catching onto the dead grass a few inches away from the trail, and it was relentless in its pace.

You couldn't do anything but sit and stare as the flames grew higher and higher. As the heat began to consume your body, beads of sweat started to form on your face. Everybody was gone before you could even process the words that came from out of Billie's mouth, and then, suddenly, you were alone. All by yourself. Surrounded by mountains of flames and ashes.

Where was everyone? Why did the people, who you considered your closest friends, run away and not even take a glance back to see if you were following? Your head feels light, so you release your breath, bursting out into a fit of coughs as you choke on your spit. Another deep breath, but this one is almost full of polluted air. More coughs, your hand bunching up the fabric of your shirt in an attempt to ground yourself.

"Y/N," a familiar voice calls out your name, muffled by the roaring sounds of the flames about to consume your whole, but you still hear it. How could you not? It was the voice of your girl. And as you turn, you're met with the sight of your girlfriends concerned face. It's Billie, "Y/N." She calls again, and this time, hee voice is much clearer. She motions you over with her hand, the other holding her shirt up to her nose as a makeshift mask.

But you can't move. The fear coursing through your veins is almost paralyzing, and the only thing you can do is stare once again. Your mind runs with the fact that Billie was the only one to come and find you. You weren't looking for her. But she found you. She found you. Her eyes sparked with worry, glassy and full of fear for both her life and yours. She couldn't have you dying like this.

"Do you wanna die alone?," She asks, and it almost makes you fearful that she'll leave again. But, she stays, coughing quietly as she cautiously steps closer. Like she's scared that you'll run off into the flames because she really didn't know why you just stayed. She reaches her hand out, "Or watch it all burn down together?" The words ring in your ears, her voice becoming a blur of syllables.

Her fingers lace into yours, and that's when it hits. Billie had actually maneuvered her way through the hot flames, jeopardizing her own life, in an attempt to possibly save your own. Your thumb runs across the top of her hand, soothing both of your nerves as her eyes land on yours, "I'd rather try to hold onto you,"

"Forever." You finish. The corners of your mouth curve into a small smile despite your life-threatening situation. You can see the smoke surrounding your bodies, and tears threaten to spill from your eyes, but you stay strong. Billie sees right through you, though. How could she not after being by your side for this long? She drops the fabric of her shirt, finally breathing in the polluted air just to pull you into a hug.

A hug that she thought she'd never be able to give you again. Her eyes shut, breathing in your scent and getting the faintest bit of your perfume. She whispers sweet things into your ear as you both rock back and forth slowly, crying softly into each other's shoulders, "I love you. I'm not letting go." She mutters, kissing your cheek and cupping your face so that you could look each other in the eyes, "I'd rather die alone, together."

𐙚 tags : @mseilishmwah @sophloveswomen @mxqdii @livvydunneness @vyntagess @afteraftercare @wiidfi0wer33 @loving1dsworld @tan1shere @fallingforfalll @cierraonline @dandelions4us @scarlittt @ifwdominicfike @slxtarchive @stonerfromlesbos @bilsdillldough @47lake @hopingforgoodblogs @karaeilishh @mybluebossanova @hopelessfawn @zayluvss @meliciousmel13

[ivyasproperty]

She just comes runnin' over to me.

billie.e x fem!reader

summary — billie doesn't seem to care about the award she'd just won, since she's too preoccupied with you.

warning(s) : none i think?

word count : 472

A/N : my first billie fic!!!!! inspired by 'The Alchemy' by Taylor Swift ><

Billie had brought you along to the oscars as her plus one, not wanting you to miss out on the buzz of the anticipated event. Billie had joked with you about her winning an oscar for her song, 'What Was I Made For', but she said it was all in good fun and said she'd never be able to win an award with her songs. You pouted at her, upset at the fact on how little she thinks of herself. You whined to her the entire car ride there that she needed to start thinking more of herself and to be a bit selfish for once in her life.

Time had flown by like an arrow and it was time to announce the winner for the best original song for a movie, the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Billie had your hand in a vice grip, nervousness evident in her body. Her brother was just the same and you couldn't help but adore the similarities between them.

And as your girlfriends song and name were announced alongside her brother, you couldn't help but jump and scream for excitement. Billie had sat there in shock and was broken out of her stupor because you shaking her shoulders with so much power she was swaying everywhere. Your excitement turned to confusion once she stood up and faced you, your seat was inside the row, why would she be facing you? Your questions were answered once she wrapped you in a tight hug and planted kisses all over your face. Your cheeks quickly grew a bright red at the affection. What you didn't expect was for her to bring you along with her up to the stage to give her speech.

"I just want to thank all the fans, and everyone here for appreciating the song my brother and I made. But I especially want to thank my girlfriend, for supporting me and inspiring me to make this song. Thank you, bunny, for being there for me" her smile was big enough to stretch across her whole face and she looked at you when she delivered the last sentence to her speech. Your heart warmed at the fact that the first thought that came to her mind was to rush up, but to hug you out of gratitude for supporting her the entire time she made this song.

And as you all stepped down the stage, you pulled her aside and planted a big fat ass kiss on her cheek, you chuckled after pulling away, laughing at the fact your lipstick had left a print on her cheek. She looked at you warmly, cheeks slowly growing pink at your actions as she held your hand back to your guys' seats. Never letting go along the way.

A/N : don't rlly like the way i ended it but whatever!!! still improving!!! hope you guys enjoyed this :D!!!!

[ivyasproperty]

Hold me, console me.

natasha.r x fem!reader

summary — good things never come for ex hydra experiments, well that's what you had always thought. but a certain redhead is determined to prove you wrong.

warning(s) : cursing ( just a bit ), some mentions of anxiety

word count : 1.03k

A/N : istg this fic took me FOREVER TO WRITE because i was lazy ( oops ), so i hope you guys enjoy it cuz its kinda sloppy.....

You'd already been apart of the avengers for a few months now, and that meant living in the avengers compound. And even though you've been living with the heroes of New York for the past 7 months, you've always felt out of place in the team. Your team members worked in sync, always backing each other up without needing to vocalize it, but there was you, who struggled to even maintain a conversation with them. That was the main reason why you decided to take less part in missions, and of course Fury bit you in the ass for it, nothing got out of his sight after all, even after losing an eye. But there was also another reason, being an ex-hydra experiment took it's toll on you. You knew you were never the kind of person to harm others, but the words that the guards of doctors at the hydra facilities would yell at you always stayed in the back of your mind and gnawed at you.

ᯓ★

You had once again turned down the offer of helping out in a mission from Steve. He was a nice guy, so it hurt your heart after seeing the worried and upset look on his face. Steve Rogers was the person who had saved you from the hell hole you were raised with, alongside Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. Speaking of Natasha, you may or may not have harbored a huge small crush on the said spy after staying at the compound. The confidence that radiated off of her had always inspired you to be better, but you guessed it wasn't enough since you've been locking yourself inside your room for the past few weeks. You could tell your behavior was worrying others, you weren't always the cheery type but you'd at least hang around in the kitchen or joined them for movie night, but as your anxiety became worse, you grew cold and snarky, barely coming out of your room during both day and night.

Tony Stark, being the person he was, wanted to barge into your room and confront you. The others protested but he wouldn't relent, not wanting to hurt his ego after shouting so loudly. But he seemed to shrink into himself a bit after receiving a glare from the redheaded assassin. She was the most worried one out of all your teammates, and rightfully so, considering how she was the one to take care of you after the avengers took you under their wing.

Natasha had knew long ago about the crush you had on her, you were discreet with it yes, but nothing could get past a highly trained assassin. Natasha had tried to brush the fluttery feeling she felt in her belly after finding out, thinking it was just her imagination. But as days went by and you not coming out of your room, she got even more worried, so worried that she had broken into your room once just to check on you. It was then that she realized that she liked you too.

"I'll talk to her, Tony," her voice left no room for an argument as she got up from her seat on the couch and left the room in search of you. Tony had wanted to tag along, wanting to see what was about to unfold but was stopped by a hand gripping strongly onto his wrist. "Leave her be, Stark. She'll know how to handle it, and you need to stop meddling in other people's business." Wanda knew of your struggles, considering how she was also an ex-hydra experiment, so she knew you needed time and space.

Tony being Tony, denied the accusation of meddling in other people's business. Your teammates groaned, done with his shenanigans and left the room, but not before a small banter between them and the big boss.

ᯓ★

Natasha walked to your room in a hurry, not wanting to waste a single second. She knew the way to your room by heart, she always visited you during the night and waited outside your door, just in case you decided to come out of the confinements in your room.

Once she had reached your room, she knocked on your door, calling out your name. She wasn't surprised that there wasn't a response and decided to just pick lock her way through your door. She knew it was wrong but she didn't seem to care anymore. She needed you to come out of your room, she needed to see you.

After she successfully pick locked your door, she was met with you under your covers with trash littered everywhere in your room. It was obvious you weren't taking care of yourself. You noticed a presence in your room and turned to look towards your door, not that surprised at the shocked look on her face that disappeared and was replaced with a worried look. You didn't know why but all the emotions that were bottled up inside of you suddenly burst out and you started sobbing like your life depended on it. Natasha, quickly breaking out of her stupor, ran to your side to console you.

"It'll be alright, I'm right here, malysh." You didn't know how long your cried for, you didn't care how long you cried for. Natasha was there for you and you didn't care about anything else but that.

After calming down and drying your tears, she cupped your cheeks and placed her lips on yours. Your eyes went wide in shock, not knowing what to do. You could feel her smile against your lips, amused in your reaction. "You'll be alright, I''ll always be here to help you through it, alright?" You could feel tears welling up in your eyes again, but for a completely different reason.

Even though you knew it'd take time for you to feel like you were a part of the team and open up about it to them, you didn't seem to dwell on the matter. Your mind was somewhere else as confessions were whispered into the dead of night into your bedroom with your lover, that you knew would be there to hold you and console you, even in your worse times.

A/N : NO BC THIS IS SO BAD IM CRYING, i regret being lazy and procrastinating on this one bc it turned out so rushed to me, but i hope you guys still enjoyed it >< feel free to leave requests anytime!!!!!

[ivyasproperty]

i fucking SCREAMED

𐙚 LAST TIME, PROMISE

"Please, Mommy, please." Billie breathes, eyes glossed over with desire and desperation. Her eyebrows are furrowed, lips pouty and body hot. Her hands were gripping at your thighs, keeping them parted so that she could have full access to your sweet pussy that she'd already overstimulated.

Your thighs were shaking, your entire body trembling from her relentless tongue that you'd only stopped a few seconds ago. Heavy breaths and exhausted whines filled the room, sending a shiver down Billie's spine because she was the cause of those noises. Your hand was grabbing her hair, keeping her at a small distance so that she wouldn't try to go at it again.

But her pleading eyes made it hard for you resist her endless begs and whines for you to keep letting her eat your pussy. She was drunk off your taste, mind focused solely on getting you off. Her own pussy was aching with the need to be touched, but she'd ignore it for the time being, "I jus'—only wanna make y'feel good. 'S'all." Billie mewls, eyes fluttering shut as your nails scratch at her scalp.

"Please..." She whispers, voice becoming quieter. Her thumbs rub soft circles along your smooth skin, moaning pathetically just at the feeling of it. Her eyes open slowly as you stop your motions, her pout deepening. Tears began to well up in her eyes at your silence, sniffling as she bit her lip, "Want'chu, Mommy—I—I need to taste you again." Her voice is a mere whisper, shaky and full of desperation as she scoots closer to the edge of the bed, knees digging into the carpet of your shared bedroom.

Your lips tug down into a small frown of sympathy for the sweet girl between your legs. Your hand maintained a firm grip on her hair while your other slithered from her hand all the way to her cheek, cupping her face as you ran your thumb along her lower lip, "I know, baby, I know." You coo, tongue dipping out to wet your lips, "You just wanna make me cum over and over again, don't you, sweet girl?" A nod of her head is all the confirmation you need to know that you have her in your full control.

She's at a loss for words now, her thoughts completely mush. Billie whines as you push your thumb past her lips, taking the gesture as an invitation to suck on it. But, still, it didn't satisfy her. She needed her lips on your pussy, her tongue delving deep between the walls of your oversensitive cunt. Your thumb is quickly taken away from as you hear her whines becoming louder, dragging your finger along her lips to get rid of her saliva.

"Been a good girl," She exhales, a tear rolling down her cheek as she tries to push against your grip, biting the inside of her cheek as you pull her back once again. She cries softly in frustration, "Mommy, this is—Promise, this'll be the last time..!" She trails off, mind scattered and all over the place. Her fingers tap at your thighs, grip becoming tighter and more possessive.

You hum quietly, grip loosening in the slightest, "Oh, but, didn't you say that it was the 'last time,' the last time?" Your tone is soft, but your words are so mean. Well, to her, at least. She nods hesitantly, babbling something before she pulls herself together, "But!—Ma, I promise I won't ask again. Please, please, please, babygirl." She whispers, silently praying that you'll give into her this one last time.

With one final, long look into Billie's desperate, ocean blue eyes, you let her hair go completely. Both of your hands quickly grip at the sheets, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, but even that isn't enough to get you ready for your girlfriend's skilled tongue. Billie moans, the sound muffled against your cunt and sending small vibrations through your system. Your head lolls back, eyes shutting tight and knuckles turning white from your grip on the bedsheets.

"Last time, Mommy. Mm.. promise."

𐙚 amiyaps : full credits go to @tan1shere for giving me the permission to write something based on this fic!

𐙚 tags : @mseilishmwah @sophloveswomen @mxqdii @livvydunneness @vyntagess @afteraftercare @wiidfi0wer33 @loving1dsworld @fallingforfalll2 @cierraonline @dandelions4us @scarlittt @ifwdominicfike @slxtarchive @stonerfromlesbos @bilsdillldough @47lake @hopingforgoodblogs @karaeilishh @hopelessfawn @zayluvss @meliciousmel13