jantober

[jantober]

It's been a while, I suppose, since I posted here. I don't have much motivation to keep writing and also a lot of things happened these few weeks, so...🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ here's Moonjo.

[jantober]

Selcouth

Selcouth

(adj.) unfamiliar, rare, strange,

and yet marvelous

Pairings : Seo Moonjo x reader

Summary : Moonjo always has his way

Warning : mention of blood, just slight mention of weapons (axe), fights scene

⚠️❗if you're expecting fluff or smth, please keep in mind that it's not.

One shot of Soju has gone down my throat, it leaves a tingle on the tongue, a vapour up the nose, a slight burn in the throat, and a slight buzz in the head. I never thought I would find myself sitting in a restaurant, not eating, but trying to get myself drunk, trying to get my mind away from anything at the moment.

It is almost a week after my arrival at the residence. Everything appears to be fine, except it's not. The humid and stained place leaves such an unforgettable impression on me, weird enough to make me shiver, enough to keep me on the edge, a sensation that will never be taken away from me.

Have you seen those people? There's no way when you look at them you don't feel the tingle feeling in your stomach that makes you want to puke, not because you're disgusted, but the uneasiness that tainted you. You never know what these kinds of people might hide behind a facade of normal being, or not so normal.

I’m really curious what people would do when they're in my shoes, will they run away or accept the absurd truth that no one, even their close ones seems to understand them, everyone is almost like a stranger to them. How could I live my life when no one believes my weird occurrences in the residence? No one acknowledges my strange feelings about the sudden missing people in the residence as if I'm telling lies, thinking that I’m out of my mind, or assuming that I'm just overly ‘sensitive’. These types of responses can frequently be received whenever they hear my experiences. Thus I'm starting to doubt myself too..

How crazy do you have to be to doubt your own consciousness? Can I really believe everything I hear or touch or even see? It may sound bizarre and hard to imagine, but I'm in a state where I can't even believe my perception of my own reality. Nothing feels more surreal than doubting everything, when your human senses, which is the only source of information to a human being, can't even be trusted.

My effort to keep my emotions stable had failed when I started to live in that residence. At first, I tried to brush it off, I really tried it. However, the constant strange occurrences forces me to react differently. Fear is something normal to human nature, it helps our survival instinct which forces us to become aware of our surroundings. We have two choices when facing our fear, fight or flight. Either you face it or run away from it. However, even when you choose to run away, you would still have to face your fear at some point in your life.

Facing your fear with fight means that your fear has turned into anger.

Each shot I take is my hope that I could win against my fear, somehow it would fade away together with the alcohol. Tonight, I have no plan on going back to the residence.

In the midst of my hectic thoughts, the phone on my table rings which pulls me back from my chaotic feeling. After seeing the name of the caller, a cold wind blows past me, my surroundings feel a bit lighter. Ye Eun, my only friend. Even though she never truly understands what I've been going through, at least she doesn't try to just brush away my wariness, like the other people. I’m glad that she calls me, little did I know it wouldn't last that long.

“Ye Eun?” I wait for her to respond on the other side.

“Ye Eun is with me.” Five words that successfully shatter my world, my eyes widened as my heart stops beating, everything seems to come to an end. Knowing whose voice it is, familiar with the threat ahead, I feel so much worse, something crushed inside me. It took me long enough to process those five-easy-simple words. I’m stunned in my seat when I could hear Ye Eun’s heavy breathing on the other side. My brain can't even give a coherent sentence to respond with. The familiarity with the voice is enough to make me more dumbfounded with the situation.

“What..?” Is the only thing I could think of, I'm not even asking how he could have her or the reason why he has her, I just want to know what is actually happening right now, that's how shocked I am.

“..Moonjo?” My body feels tense, as if I turned into a stick. Is it really the end for me? Do I really have to face my fear now? Can't I run away a little more? Just a little more..

“Do you think you have another choice?” He asked me, no- he was taunting me. Even when our eyes don't meet each other, when our beings are in different settings, he still knows exactly what I thought with only three words I spoke after I picked up the phone. Thus it is scary how he is right. I don't have any choice. I have to go back to my only friend..

My hatred grows as I hate how he could easily get me back to the hell that I've been trying to run away from. At this moment, my mind doesn't understand what he's doing to me or what he has done to me, but his efforts, whatever that is, have successfully pushed me over the edge.

“Where are you right now?”

“I’ll be waiting in your room.” I swear I could feel his smirk when he said it. That just makes me more irritated than I was already.

“I’ll kill you. I’m really gonna kill you.”

There's a pause before he responds “I’m excited.” My hand immediately ended the call and paid for my drinks, before rushing out to get a taxi. Inside of the taxi, my heart is pumping faster, more blood rushing to my brain as it races a lot of possibilities. In this situation, the alcohol isn't helping me either, I just could sit still until I arrive at… my hell.

Refusion is trying to pull me away from what I planned, which is getting inside the residence. But how can I leave her alone there? What if I wouldn't see her anymore? How can I blame anyone when I myself didn't try to help her? These questions seem to defeat my reluctant side, and so, with the courage I have left, my legs are walking in towards the residence, climbing the stairs, until I reach the third floor.

My sight doesn't catch any movement, no one shows up, only the humid scent that welcomes me. However, I don't let my guard down as I’m trying to keep my steps silent, although it looks like I have trouble walking in a straight line.

My steps finally reach my room, room 303. I pick up my key from my pocket and insert it into the doorknob as I slowly twist it, afraid of what I might find inside. Unlike what I expected, I found my room empty, nothing, it is just the way it was when I left. This makes my heart boil with frustration as it feels he's trying to make me more confused and disoriented. He is really playing with me.

After standing for a while, being left dumbfounded with this nonsense, a sound can be heard. A tennis ball. A tennis ball is being bounced. Because the walls of the residence are really thin, my ears can hear them echoing within the walls. I quickly lock the door with my key and step back. The sound of the bouncing ball is getting closer and closer but then it walks past my room. I thought it was the end of it but I was wrong.

In the midst of silence, my phone rings with notification chat from.. Ye Eun.

“got you ㅋㅋ” The sound from the notification isn't that loud, but it's enough to echo within the walls. Shit. SHIT. No doubt, it's him who sends the chat. Now, it's pretty clear that I am IN the residence, IN my room. The tennis ball once again comes back bouncing, getting closer until it reaches in front of my room and it goes silent, a bit too silent as it builds up a heavy tension between ‘us’ or whoever is behind the door. Those shots, that I took previously, make the emotions I feel more overwhelming that it should be, that's when breathing becomes a difficult activity, along with my shaky hand drops my phone to the floor, my figure froze in place.

1..

2..

3..

4..

5..

Five seconds have passed, yet nothing happened. I myself don't feel any relieved, instead my whole figure couldn't be moved, just stuck to the same position, waiting for whatever is behind that door to make the next move.

Suddenly, the doorknob is twisting expeditiously along with the door getting smashed with an axe. Uncovering this situation in front of me, with great success, makes my scream come out. I try to back away fully to the wall, but the small desk behind me is restraining for me from doing so.

With a big hole on the door, I recognize it is the crazy twin behind the door while he is getting his arm through the hole, unlocking the door, revealing another person beside him which is the pervert guy. Both of them smile at me, giggles can be heard coming out from the crazy twin.

“..아이고~~ wh..why are yo..-you so scared..?” The crazy twin asks along with his usual giggles.

His giggles get on my nerves, irritating to hear, making my tipsy state more unbearable.

“Where is that.. where is that bastard?” My voice comes out a bit weaker than I intended, just to be replied with giggles from both of them. Getting no answer from them makes my blood boil with frustration.

“Tell him to come out”

“Tell him to come out!”

“자장..” The pervert points out to his side and the man that I’m afraid of, yet I hate, appears in front of me, Moonjo..

“Where is she?” Not wanting to waste any time, I question the most important thing for me now. The man standing in front of me dismisses the pervert and the crazy twin with a shake of his head.

After they're gone, he sighs, leans to the door frame.

“She's upstairs.”

"What did you do to her?"

"I said what did you do to her?!"

"You already know what I did to her."

After receiving that information, my body reacts almost immediately as I want to go out and go upstairs, the fourth floor.. However, I’m blocked by his figure on the door frame.

“Move out.”

“We're not done yet.” Weird atmosphere starts to fill up the gap between us. My mind can't make sense of his words, but at the same time I do understand his intention. By the scent, he probably knows I drank before coming here. He wants to make use of this chance, at least that's what I conclude.

The weird atmosphere is getting heavier by each passing second, our breaths are like competing with each other as the oxygen decreases. No light seems to reflect at his dark round pupils, contrast to his pink lips that screams beauty and innocence. No words come out from his lips anymore, giving no clue for me, as if he is waiting for me to make my next move.

I can't bear with this atmosphere any more, so I decided to push him away and walk out of my room. However, a hand fastly grabs my shirt and successfully pulls me backwards. My body gets dragged towards the next room, 304.

He slams my body towards the desk as he closes the door behind him, all of my muscles pretty much give up. I pull myself back together and attempt to punch him in the face but he dodge it easily. I know my being isn’t capable of whatever I planned on doing, however my instinct forces me to ignore my exhaustion and continue with my attempts, which always fail, maybe because my moves are predictable. Maybe because of the alcohol, my movements are influenced by my impulse, so it is really messy and out of place. He continues to knock me down easily, banging my figure towards the stained floor. Even when I succeed in pushing him against the wall, his lips smile at me, showing no struggle in his expression, which fuels my anger further.

“You're really angry tonight, honey.” His words resembled a blade, sharp and cutting, yet warm as honey, smooth as well as pleasant.

How can he be this calm? I expected him to be raising his voice at me, but no, instead his voice contains something familiar, something more soft than harsh, something like cherishment. Maybe it is because of our close proximity, the atmosphere changes for a while, it transforms into something more dangerous, darker..

A desire.

Processing this sudden change is not easy, my head moves to the side, trying to force down my dizziness. The distraction opens a chance for him to slam me against the door. My figure can't be moved anymore, all of my muscles can't gather any strength to get me up again, my body has surrendered.

The fight finally comes to an end, with me bleeding out and being dragged deeper to my hell.

A note from me: I was thinking about writing a fluff story with Moonjo, but it's kinda hard, cause I can't really picture him being in a relationship. So if I'm gonna write a fluff story, it's probably gonna be really really really subtle romance. And if you have any requests, feel free to share it with me, I'll try my best.

Also, my school is starting, I have to study for a competition as well, so I might not be really active, but I will never abandon this acc!

[jantober]

"My boyfriend's pretty cool but he's not as cool as me"

My Moonjo drawing🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ what do you guys think?? 🤔

lately, I've been more motivated to draw so I might as well draw him.

((((I was thinking of drawing Jongwoo too in the future!))))

[jantober]

Orphic

Orphic

(adj.) mysterious and entrancing;

beyond ordinary understanding

Pairings : Seo Moonjo x reader

Genre : slight fluff

Summary : the first encounter

Warning : first person pov and slight mention of blood

At the rooftop, I am trying to clear off my mind with the night breeze hitting my face. It is quite surprising that this kind of residence has a rooftop which leads to this view. It was quiet when suddenly “You're the new tenant?” I quickly turn my head towards the sound. I see a tall figure of a man with formal clothing, white shirt and black trousers, pretty neat for someone who lives here. He slowly walks towards me, closing each gap between us. I realized that I might’ve been silent for too long, I tilted my head up to look him in the face and answered “..ah..yes..” I am pretty awkward with strangers, but he is a different case, he makes me more uncomfortable, maybe because his height makes me feel unsafe. I sense something off from him and that just adds to my sensitive nature, I try not to think much about it and shrug it off. “The rooms feel suffocating aren't they? I like to go here and drink some beers, it feels less lonely up here. Speaking of beers... I brought some, do you want to drink?” His voice is deep, strangely soothing, and a hint of friendliness in contrast to his dull energy. It appears that he wants to be seen as approachable. “..sure, I would like one.” I answered, I am still uncomfortable nonetheless.

His hands open up the plastic bag that he carried and take a can of beer out of it as well as hand it to me. Even though my eyes look at his hand, but in a split second, from my peripheral vision I can see his smile, not a friendly one I suppose, it's hard to pinpoint what makes his smile feel disturbing. I grab the can of beer out of his hand and let out a simple ‘thank you’. I open the can of beer then drink it while my eyes are looking out to the view. I can hear another can pop off beside me, no question who it is, except maybe it IS a question, after all I haven't gotten his name.

“So.. you live in room 303?” His question almost caused me to choke on my beer, I immediately wondered how he knew about that. As if he can read my mind, he instantly adds “..ah.. the landlady told me before..” Although his addition seems unconvincing, I still shrug it off. I nod to his question “yes, I do.. What about you?” “room 304” Once again I just nod and sip my beer again. Despite being uncomfortable beside him, I feel a little bad because I can sense he tried to have a conversation with me and I somewhat dismiss him. What if it's just my sensitivity? Maybe he is not that bad, maybe he is a good person..? Maybe…

At this point, I don't even know why I haven't asked for his name. My eyes are still looking at the view in front of me, despite knowing the tall man beside me is staring at me. A lot of questions pop up in my mind but I am afraid to ask them. He just seems a bit too.. out of this place..? He seems to have a decent job, considering what he is wearing, I wonder why he would stay at this place. “..are you a painter?” Once again.. he manages to shock me a little. My gaze shifts towards him. ‘How does he know?’ That is the first thing that came to my mind. I know that he knows I am confused with his question. Without a word coming out of my mouth, he cleared himself by adding his way of thought. “I see some paint on your hand.” After hearing his words, I immediately check my hand and there is actually some stain on my hand. I am baffled since I remember I washed my hands before. “..I won't call myself a painter, I just like to draw and color them.. I like making art..” That last sentence comes out a bit weak, embarrassed even, since people around me always look down at me when I say I wanted to be a painter. Their judgemental eyes, their mocking expression, and their ‘advice’ are engraved into my memory. “You really.. considering painting as your job..?” “You're gonna graduate soon, get yourself some actual job” “why would you even learn drawing, it's no use” “You know, you should find a real job since you're already graduated.” Their judgements are true of course, painting or drawing is not a real job, I can't get money out of them. But I can't help it, it is frustrating, sometimes I just wanna bang their head to the wall and use their blood on my painting- wait.. stop it. And also that is why I am here, staying in this residence while getting myself a ‘real’ job.

Again, he opens his mouth, his deep and soothing voice snap me to reality. “I actually do something similar.. I dismantle, assemble, and recreate.” My gaze lands on his face, trying to make sense of his words. My confusion is visible to him, but this time he doesn't add any explanation. Our eye contact lasts longer than it should be, even though I can't look through his eyes clearly with his bangs covering them a bit. It just makes his intention more unreadable. “What kind of painting style do you like?” He asks. Without any further thinking, I straight away answer “.. Impressionism.” “Why?” This question successfully makes me stunned, not because I can't answer it, but this is my first time hearing someone interested and not judged me over something I love. “It's just because.. they're beautiful in their own way, they're not trying to mimic exactly the real thing, the painting just has the essence of the thing.” I explain as I smile, finally feel somewhat connected with another person whom I talk to. “You must be really good at painting.” He smiles at me. This is my first time hearing someone appreciate what I actually love to do, honestly I am getting flustered as I smile back at him shyly. “..ah I'm not that good yet.” And give an awkward chuckle. The night passed on by sipping on beer and stealing glances.

I guess being here isn't that bad as I thought it would be. Just as I thought my life would change for the better, instead it is gonna be my downfall.

It's my first time writing, I hope you guys enjoy it well. If there's anything that could be improved, please let me know! ☺️