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jaybieenson223-blog · 3 years
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April 16, 2021
My primary love language is: QUALITY TIME. And I agreed to my love language which is Quality Time because I do love spending time with my loved ones. When someone spent their time with me, I felt happy and special. It touches my heart. My friends told me that I'm an one call away friend because when someone needs me, I am always making a way and willing to be there for them. In the definition of love languages in Quality Time, it says there that distractions, postponed activities and the failure to listen can be especially hurtful and I agree to that because that's what I felt when someone did those to me.
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jaybieenson223-blog · 3 years
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February 27, 2021 Good day and good night! I've never been in a relationship since then but I'm gonna share how I got hurt, lol. In 2018, I entered a world where everything is fake. Fake identity, fake account (Facebook account) and a fake world but most of the personalities of the portrayers are true beneath the fake identities. I entered that world because my friends influenced me to. The portrayers entered that world for a reason that they wanted to escape from reality. As I am portraying or roleplaying, I met a lot of friends that also became close friends. In April 2019, I met a boy roleplayer who's been heartbroken because his ex-girlfriend broke him up and left to study overseas and live there for good. As I get to know him, I am amazed by his personality even though we're just hiding in our fake accounts. He's a God-fearing, family-oriented man, an honor student, and cold but for me he's attractive. He has that attitude that I idolize. Days and weeks passed by, my feelings are starting to develop especially that we often chat. I showed my care to him. I felt excited and was happy every time we talked even though he replied shortly, lol. His coldness is challenging for me, a reason that I fell deeper. One time, my friend encouraged me to confess my feelings towards him and I was convinced even as a matter of fact that I don't do first move to someone I liked. My friend convinced me and I confessed my feelings through a video presentation, lol. I made an effort to do a short video clip showing my feelings for him and post it and tag him that only him can view. I posted that at night and I slept quickly because of my nervousness, thinking of what his reaction might be. As I wake up in the morning, my heart beats fast and feels nervous and as I open my account. I saw a lot of messages from him HAHAHAHA. Saying that he felt sorry because he only sees me as a friend and he can't give back the feelings I have for him. For a reason that he's still in the process of moving on because of his past. That the pain his ex caused him is still there. In short, I got friendzone and got rejected. I got hurt but it was fine with me because I never expected a thing in return. I just want him to know and be aware of my feelings. So, I avoided him not because he rejected me but because maybe he didn't want me to bother him anymore. I divert my attention to something that will make me happy and forget the pain, lol. Before I diverted my attention to some things, someone messaged me using an anonymous messenger (an account) where you will never know the sender unless he/she reveals it. The messages inside are saying that he also has a crush on me but he doesn't want to be hurt again. He's afraid. Thinking of the sender, I only thought is him who sent the messages but I convinced myself to believe that it was not him because he already said that he only sees me as a friend and he's not over his ex yet. As the days and weeks passed by, I slowly forgot him and the feelings slowly faded because we didn't communicate anymore. But one time, after a few months, someone tagged me, revealing the sender who sent the messages to me. I was shocked because the sender is really him. I was happy at the same time sad because I know that what he felt towards me is fading and has changed. I tried to confront him, clearing things and he told me the truth it was really him. He told me everything. As he was clearing things, my feelings towards him came back. My feelings suddenly came back. I became desperate to tell him that I still have feelings for him but it was too late because he told me that he already likes someone in his real world. My heart broke into pieces again but I still support him. I will always support him in everything that will make him happy.
#PersonalDevelopment
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jaybieenson223-blog · 3 years
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Who are the people closest to you? How often do you talk to them? Why do you consider them your closest relationship?
— The people or the person that are close to me is my internet friend Jessa Lantaca Rebecca. Even though we only met in the online world, our friendship became real. We are far from each other but we often communicate. The distance is not a hindrance for our friendship. I consider her as my closest friend because she's always there when I need an advice and when I need a person I can cry on.
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jaybieenson223-blog · 3 years
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What makes you happy? When are you happy?
— Simple things make me happy. By being with my friends and my loved ones simply makes me happy. Doing things I like makes me feel happy just like doing calligraphies, reading Wattpad and watching movies. Hiking, jogging and climbing mountains with my friends makes me feel happy because I feel relaxed and it makes me forget my problems even just a bit of time.
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jaybieenson223-blog · 3 years
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What are the challenges that you face and how can you manage them?
— In this age of mine, I already face many challenges in life. In the school, in my friends, and especially in my family. I managed them by just facing it and resolving it. For instance, I have a fight with my friends and to solve the problem, we confront each other until we become okay. To all the challenges that we might encounter, we should face it and don't hide it because we can't resolve it when we don't stand and face it.
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jaybieenson223-blog · 3 years
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Have you ever met a person who seems to be so complex that is difficult to fully understand him or her? What makes this person a complex character?
— Yes. In junior high school, there was this friend that was so difficult to understand because she's so competitive in everything that we do. For instance, I got a higher grade than her and she can't accept it because she wanted to be the highest one. She consulted our subject teacher that she will do everything that can increase her grade even though her grades are passing and she's already an honor student.
#PersonalDevelopment
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jaybieenson223-blog · 3 years
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Do I know myself? Well, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I know myself for being cute, simple, easy to approach person, I sometimes sarcastic but just to those people who are close to me only, for being lazy in doing things but highly dreaming to succeed. I am a softhearted person because I easily get hurt when someone throws a hurtful words. And I know to myself that I can't easily understand or let's just say I'm lack of knowledge when it comes to academics. I still don't trust myself fully because I'm lack of confidence showing my hidden skills/abilities if ever I have. And I sometimes don't know myself for an unreasonable reasons. I learned these things about myself by observing my own self and by the opinions of others. Well, sometimes I like and dislike their opinions about me but I accepted it all because I know that their perceptions can help me improve and grow.
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