jeongiegram
jeongiegram
airbear
677 posts
21 years old,yang jeongin + asoiaf + the last kingdom + bucky barnes + yellowjackets + criminal minds enthusiast.
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jeongiegram · 5 days ago
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what I love about catelyn’s characterization is that she isn’t everyone’s mother. she refuses to treat jon like one of her own. she doesn’t have any “motherly instincts” towards theon. even with brienne, she connects with her on more of a woman to woman level than through some mother-daughter dynamic. she never feels obligated to play the angelic “mother to all” figure.
but that’s the best part about her journey as a mother—it’s kind of messy. she has a favorite child, she’s forced to choose between her kids, she actively resents a motherless boy, she dislikes the hostage child living in her home. like yeah catelyn’s love for her children is beautiful and “pure” or whatever, but it also makes her cruel, selfish, impulsive, ruthless, even vengeful.
tbh catelyn’s sense of motherhood is just so unapologetically human, so refreshingly honest. she may be a mother, but there’s nothing romantic or intuitive or easy about it. catelyn stark loves her children, but it’s not that simple.
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jeongiegram · 6 days ago
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Y'all TikTok HotD fandom is one scary place. Can't have ONE comment without 5 people sending you SA/death threats, ragebaiting you or insulting your family tree. Chill out...
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jeongiegram · 18 days ago
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@missdreamfyre read my mind.
“she’s bald, she’s bald and she’s torturing people who have hair!”
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jeongiegram · 28 days ago
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ugh i love this so much!
Hi, I saw your requests were open and I was wondering if you could write something about an Introverted targ!Reader/Slightly on the timid side but sweet, really close with Elia and loves her mother Rhaella to pieces slowly getting closer to Oberyn every time he visits??? If not that’s totally okay, I love your writing btw!! 💗
Fire and sunlight
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Pairing: Oberyn Martell x targ!reader Summary: You arrive in Dorne shy and soft-spoken, but with each visit—and each moment with Oberyn Martell—you begin to bloom. Warnings: slow-burn, fluff, soft Oberyn, sweetness
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The Dornish sun is blinding, even in spring, but you’ve always preferred its warmth to the bitter chill of King’s Landing’s shadowed corridors. You arrive under a pale parasol, tucked into the cushions of a litter that sways with the gait of your palfrey, your head slightly turned to watch the rippling horizon. There’s something in the air here—salt and orange blossoms, wind and freedom. You breathe it in like a secret you’ll carry back with you, if you must leave.
The Water Gardens stretch before you like a dream brought to life. Sunlight plays across shallow pools, children laugh somewhere beyond the courtyards, and the breeze carries the music of fountains instead of the whisper of spies. You’re not used to stillness that isn’t laced with caution.
Elia is the first to greet you—of course she is. She smells like myrrh and citrus and wraps you in an embrace that stills every frantic thought in your head.
“Finally,” she breathes against your cheek, pulling back only to cup your face in both hands. “You’re here. You look tired.”
You offer her a soft smile. “The journey was long.”
“You always say that, sweet sister, even when the journey is only through the palace gardens.”
You shrug, unable to argue. Elia is sunlight incarnate, luminous even when she's teasing, but she never says things to hurt. You feel it in the way she tucks her arm through yours as if she's afraid you’ll slip away again. She always walks just a bit ahead, leading you gently but surely into rooms where you’d otherwise hover at the edge.
“I don’t want you to hide this time,” she says, her tone fond but firm. “No more vanishing into corners with your embroidery. You must let them see you.”
Them.
You already know who she means.
But you say nothing. Instead, you let her lead you down a colonnade where columns frame the sea, and you blink against the light reflecting off the waves. Everything here is too open, too exposed, but somehow… safe. You can feel your shoulders beginning to loosen.
You want to tell her that you’ll try. That you’ll try for her. But the words stay lodged in your throat, as they often do.
She seems to understand anyway. Her arm tightens around yours.
You find yourself in the southern garden the next day, seated under a blooming citrus tree whose branches hang heavy with gold and green. The book in your lap is more comfort than distraction, your eyes reading the same line over and over while your thoughts drift. You trace the spine with your fingertip, already feeling the echo of steps on gravel before you see him.
He doesn’t announce himself.
You sense him by presence alone, heat and awareness folding around you like sunlight through a stained-glass window. When you look up, he is standing in front of you, his hands clasped behind his back, head tilted in a way that makes his dark hair fall into his eyes.
“I hope you won’t mind me saying,” Oberyn Martell begins, “but you’re not like any of the Targaryens I’ve met.”
Your heart gives a small, startled leap.
You nod politely, your fingers tightening ever so slightly around the edge of your book.
“Most of them,” he continues, crouching so he’s level with you, “seem to believe that silence is either a weapon or a punishment. But yours… yours is different.”
You’re too surprised to look away. The sunlight frames him from behind, a halo of molten light, but his voice is soft—quieter than you expected. Not demanding, not arrogant, only curious.
“You don’t speak much,” he says, smiling as if it’s not a flaw. “But when you do, I imagine it means something.”
Still, you don’t speak now. You can’t. You hold his gaze just long enough to let your lips twitch in a tiny, bashful smile.
“That’s all right,” he says, rising smoothly. “I don’t mind waiting.”
And with that, he’s gone.
You stare after him long after he disappears from view, your fingers resting still on the page that never turned.
——
You never meant to let him see you paint.
It was supposed to be a private indulgence—a moment of stillness by the fountain, your bare feet tucked beneath you, brush in hand. The parchment is wide across your lap, and you dip the brush gently into pale orange pigment, blending it with gold. The figure you’re painting is Elia—smiling as you last saw her, head thrown back in laughter, a breeze catching the ends of her braid.
You’re so absorbed in your work you don’t hear him approach.
“Is that Elia?”
You stiffen.
When you look up, Oberyn is standing behind you, hands clasped loosely, his expression unreadable. He steps closer but doesn’t touch the painting—only peers at it with a kind of reverence.
“You’ve caught her,” he murmurs. “That expression... she only makes that face when she’s looking at something she loves.”
You look down, flustered.
“She’s always easy to paint,” you say, your voice soft. “She glows.”
He hums thoughtfully. “You see her very clearly.”
You nod, feeling your pulse in your throat.
“Do you paint yourself?” he asks gently.
You shake your head.
“Why not?”
You don’t answer.
He kneels again, as he did that first day. “Because you’re afraid you’d get it wrong?”
You hesitate. Then nod.
“Then let someone else try,” he says, and you look at him sharply. “Let me try.”
You blush, eyes wide.
He chuckles, but it’s not mocking—it’s warm. “Someday.”
And then he walks away, leaving you with wet paint, trembling fingers, and something alive blooming in your chest.
——
You no longer sit in the shadows.
It’s early evening, and the sun hovers low over the dunes, casting golden streaks across the water. You sit near the fountain now—where the sunlight finds you easily—and your silver hair shimmers in its light. You brought two cups of Dornish wine, chilled and honeyed, and you’re no longer surprised when he finds you.
This time, he slows beside you. Watches the way you tilt the second cup toward him without a word.
He smiles. “Does this mean I’m welcome now?”
You meet his eyes.
“Yes.”
He sits beside you, close enough that your shoulders nearly touch.
“You always watch me,” he says after a moment, no judgment in his voice.
You tense slightly, then murmur, “You’re… difficult not to notice.”
His grin is slow. “Ah. But that’s not the same as wanting to.”
You lower your gaze. “You’re like fire,” you say finally, barely louder than a breath. “Beautiful. But bright. Too much for someone like me.”
His voice softens. “Fire doesn’t always want to burn. Sometimes, it just wants to warm. You should let it.”
The words wrap around you, and when he leans back on his elbows to look at the sky, you risk watching him—this time openly. The line of his jaw, the flicker of lashes, the fullness of his mouth.
And for the first time, you do not look away when he catches you.
——
You write her often—your mother.
Your letters to Queen Rhaella are filled with gentle reassurances and sweet, clumsy sketches of the gardens. You always include a pressed flower, careful to seal it between soft pages, and you imagine her smile as she opens each one, her tired hands smoothing the parchment. She is not well, not always, but she is the brightest star in your private sky.
One afternoon, while you're finishing a letter beneath the lemon trees, Oberyn walks by. You try to fold the parchment quickly, but he stops beside you, catching a glimpse of the trailing silver ink across the page.
“Your mother?” he asks.
You nod.
“She must be proud,” he says after a beat. “To have a daughter who still carries her so close.”
You look down. “She’s all I had, for a long time. I think… she held me together.”
“Not all you have now,” he says quietly. “Not anymore.”
You lift your eyes, surprised by the seriousness in his voice.
“She’s important,” he continues, crouching before you again, elbows resting on his knees, his gaze steady. “But don’t forget that you are too. To Elia. To your people. To me.”
Your breath catches, and your lips part slightly, but he doesn’t ask for a reply.
He stands again, offering you a small, solemn nod. “Send her my regards.”
That night, your hand shakes slightly when you add his name to the bottom of the letter.
——
There is music in the courtyard.
Elia’s nameday celebration is not grand, but joyful—laughter spilling out of the halls, dancers moving beneath the dusk-washed sky, silk and gold and red swaying like flame. You stay near the edge at first, fingers wrapped around a goblet, eyes following your sister as she moves in a circle of smiling faces.
Oberyn finds you watching.
“She wants you to join,” he says, offering his hand.
“I don’t dance,” you whisper, embarrassed.
“I do,” he says, with a smile that dares. “And I’m very good at it.”
You hesitate too long. He steps forward, lowering his voice.
“I will not lead you where you don’t want to go. But if you trust me… only a little… I’ll show you that it’s not so frightening.”
You stare at his outstretched hand.
It trembles in the air between you, waiting.
And finally—finally—you take it.
He draws you out gently. One step, then two. His hand is warm around yours, the other settling lightly against your waist. You barely hear the music at first—only your heartbeat, only the breath caught in your throat.
“Breathe,” he murmurs, close to your ear.
You try.
And then, slowly, he moves.
It isn’t a whirlwind. It’s not grand. He steps where you step, shifts when you shift, your movements growing braver with each pass. He doesn’t press or twirl or demand. He lets you stay small, but not invisible. He lets you feel—his strength, his attention, his quiet admiration.
When the song ends, your face is flushed, your heart flying. He bows low.
“My lady,” he says with theatrical charm.
And you can’t help it—you laugh. Soft, high, delighted.
He straightens slowly, as if memorizing the sound.
——
You’re in the gardens again.
The hour is late, the moon silvering the pools, and the others are asleep. You had wandered—unable to sleep, your thoughts too full—and found your way to the edge of the reflecting pond where moonflowers bloom and silence stretches deep and gentle.
He finds you there.
He always does.
But tonight, he doesn’t speak at first.
He only sits beside you, close enough that your shoulders press, and together you watch the wind stir the lilies.
“Do you ever feel,” you say suddenly, surprising yourself, “like… you’re too much for some places, and not enough for others?”
He turns to you slowly, his profile lit in moonlight.
“Yes,” he says, after a long pause. “But not when I’m with you.”
You swallow hard.
“I’ve never had someone see me,” you whisper. “And not want to change me.”
“I wouldn’t change a single breath you’ve ever taken,” he says, his voice lower now, rougher. “You’ve been soft in a world that punishes softness. You’ve stayed kind when cruelty would’ve been easier. I see all of that.”
You look up.
He’s watching you the way he does when he paints—like you’re something sacred.
“Oberyn,” you breathe.
And he leans forward slowly, giving you every chance to pull away.
You don’t.
Your lips meet his in the softest, most reverent brush of heat. Not wild or possessive—just true. You shudder from the weight of it, from the gentleness, from the way his hand cups your cheek like you’re something fragile and precious.
When you part, neither of you speaks for a long time.
There’s no need.
His forehead rests against yours, and the night swells with quiet wonder.
——
You don’t leave when the moons shift again.
You stay.
You stay because Elia smiles more when you're near. Because the sound of your mother’s letters arriving makes your chest ache with joy instead of sorrow. Because you’ve learned how it feels to be seen—not despite your softness, but because of it.
And because when Oberyn touches your hand now, he does not ask for permission.
He already knows it’s his.
One morning, you find a ring nestled inside a bloom he left at your window. It’s shaped like a sun entwined with a silver dragon—bold and bright and impossibly delicate.
You wear it without a word.
He finds you in the garden hours later, and for the first time, you walk to him—not as a shadow, not as a question.
As flame.
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jeongiegram · 1 month ago
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HOTD's progressive ideas be like:
If you're a woman who's oppressed, it's your fault, and if you don't have the means to liberate yourself, you are weak and deserve to suffer and be humble
Slaughtering smallfolks doesn't make you a bad person as long as you spare the rich, overprivileged people you can relate to
Middle-aged man who cut his wife open without her consent to get his son out and took a child bride within a year of his "beloved" death is actually a great guy and a progressive icon
We want to avoid bury your gays trope so we, unlike in the book, give one gay character an extremely violent death, then write the other off the narrative and have him die offscreen anyway
Marrying off young girls and using them as barganing chips without asking their opinion is fine as long as its to cute boys their own age, because of course they will be happy
Heavy romanticization of grooming incestuous relationship
No one will notice that one of your girlbosses constantly caves in her husband's desires as long as she's smug and looks "badass"
Have your child bride suffer marital rape onscreen, then pretend it never happened and that was actually happy with her husband and they loved each and he treated her well
Making a character vaguely autistic means you don't need to actually develop them
Woman who slept with 13 year old boy is portrayed positively
Portray all your female characters as lacking any agency and devoid of ambition for the sake of it
All women are pro-peace because they are inherently "soft" or whatever, but mind you they never actually come up with coherent plans, they just talk in abstract and have no sense of the stakes
Make all your important POC characters subservient to white characters, to the point for example that Laenor didn't even think about his family or dragon when he abandoned to serve Rhaenyra's interests
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jeongiegram · 2 months ago
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i immediately disregard any analysis of Alicent from a strictly modern view point. Alicent can’t be a conservative or a “woman for Trump” or a pick me because she does not exist in a world where women have the same rights and freedoms of men, she is a woman in a quasi medieval society operating within this societies constructs. “Alicent seeks male validation” oh you mean from her father who owns her? and her husband who owns her? and her son who she is forced to have and then forced to rely on because as a woman she cannot own land or wealth in her own right? no shit she does, as does Rhaenyra and Rhaenys because despite having the illusion of freedom, something Alicent doesn’t even have, both Rhaenyra and Rhaenys are beholden to the men in their lives, Rhaenyra to her father and Rhaenys to her husband.
even those who are sympathetic to Alicent still cling to this idea that if Alicent just sided with Rhaenyra then her life would be so much better but respectfully that is a crock of shit, Rhaenyra wouldn’t do anything for Alicent or help improve the standing of any other women because just like Alicent she is out for her own livelihood and the livelihoods of her children, that is the priority for both these women so why is Alicent always expected to put Rhaenyra over her family? Alicent never had the privilege of a women support other women mindset because she needs to look out for her self and because so many people refuse to look at Alicent outside of their modern lenses they think she deserves to be humiliated and punished simply for doing what women had to do for centuries. to me it proves that they never bothered to engage with her character critically or with the actual politics of the world.
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jeongiegram · 2 months ago
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my womanhood has never been threatened by a trans woman. i have never felt threatened by the existence of trans people. i am disgusted and repulsed by the actions of the uk supreme court. trans rights are human rights.
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jeongiegram · 3 months ago
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So professional. | s.r.
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masterlist | navigation
summery: when the team finally has a break through in a case that seemed endless and you and Spencer are assigned to search an abandoned laboratory together, old feeling come to the surface.
word count: 7,3k (it got away from me, sorryyy)
what to expect: ex!spencer reid x fem!bau!reader, kinda like lovers to "enemies" to ??, a lot!! of banter, morgan calls r 'doll', 'princess' and 'sugar', criminal minds typical violence; torture, shooting, gunshot wound, parental/domestic abuse (abusive father/husband), hyporeflexia (the absence of reflexes), medical inaccuracies? I’m sure, English is not my first language.
a/n: aaaa this is so far out of my comfort zone!! I hope you’ll enjoy this while I’ll go into hiding🙈🙈
────── ⋆。𖦹°‧
This case was endless until it wasn't. Until everything happened so quickly, all at once.
All of the victims had been burned to the point that the ME couldn't figure out the cause of death, until Eleven year old Amilie Porter was found on the side of the road by a passerby.
She had been cold and traumatised and wouldn't speak to anyone, so they brought her to the hospital, who alerted the police that then called you. The BAU.
Now, Spencer and JJ were crouching next to her hospital bed to seem less intimidating. Everything was going great, she wasn't speaking, but engaged in the conversation by nodding or shaking her head to their questions.
Until Amilie accidentally grabbed the mug of hot tea JJ handed her by the burning hot part, but instead of flinching she just held it there, as if it wasn't burning her fingers.
"Woah, hey hey hey!" Spencer took the cup from her before any more damage could be done. "Careful, that's still hot."
But his squeaked comment only made Amilie retreated into herself.
"Sorry, I'm—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Did—" he frowned, he wasn't been sure how to ask her what he wanted to ask, given that she was eleven and still in shock.
"Did you not feel how hot that was?" He asked gently.
Amilie only nodded.
"Yes, you didn't feel how hot it was?"
She shook her head.
"So…you felt it, but didn't pull back?" He was trying his best not to come across as too impatient, keeping his voice low and soft.
He went on as she agreed to the question, "Let me ask you this, Amilie. Did—did the bad man do this?"
When Amilie nodded her head in answer to his question, Spencer glanced up at JJ, nodding as well. He could tell Amilie was exhausted and needed rest, his questions were probably not helping much.
He didn't blame her for being unresponsive, what happened to her must have been enough to traumatise a person with a fully developed brain. He could only calculate what damage it had done and will do to her life.
JJ's voice brought him back into the glaringly white hospital room. "Thank you, Amilie, you helped us very much. We're going to call the nice nurse back in, okay?"
She took Amilie's turning away from them as a yes and they made their way to the reception desk. After they were sure that the nurse was on her way, they walked back to the car.
"What did you see?" She asked him as they walked out of the hospital, onto the parking lot. Sirens were coming from every direction, so they had to speak a little louder.
"Wait—can you drive? I'll call the team." Spencer said, already pulling out his phone and dialling the first contact.
Which, unfortunately, was you.
"Reid? What did she say?" Your voice was usually distant, as if you were scared that letting any emotion into you voice would break the dam.
He pressed a hand over his ear to hear you better.
You see, when you and Spencer got together, you had to promise Hotch that you would stay professional when you would break up. A great prophecy for the rest of your relationship, right? Having to talk about your hypothetical breakup on the first official day of your relationship.
Both of you really tried to stay professional, but working with an ex was hard enough, working with an ex you haven't really talked it out with was harder.
"I think he might be torturing the victims until they loose their reflexes." He clamped the phone between his ear and shoulder as he unlocked the car door, holding it open for JJ, handing her the keys and getting into the passenger seat after she was securely in the car.
"Hyporeflexia? Do you—wait let me put you on speaker." There was shuffling on the other side of the phone. "You have Hotch and I. Do you know how he does it?"
"No. I have theories, but nothing concrete. There are a few ways to accomplish the absence of reflexes, drugs like K779 or Leuprorelin, for example. But I doubt he is using a drug, it would have shown up on the toxicology report and the chances of these drugs causing Hyporeflexia are too slim."
"What's your guess?" Hotch piped up.
"Well I think he might be damaging their nervous system. You see, motor neutrons send messages between the spinal cord and brain. Collectively they send messages to the rest of your body to control muscle movements. It's possible that the UnSub is damaging the sensory nerves, spinal cord or motor nerves to cause hyporeflexia." He rambled off the facts and you could practically see the wild gesturing of his hands.
"How is the girl?" You asked.
"She's quiet, but in good hands," he reassured you. "She'll be okay in no time."
"Are you on your way back?" Hotch asked, crossing his arms.
"Yes. We're driving to you now."
"Drive safely." You said, purely for performance purposes.
"I'm not driving." He replied dryly.
"That's why it was meant for JJ."
"She always drives safely." You tried not to roll your eyes as Spencer just hung up.
Being professional when the person you used to plan your future with was now your worst enemy was hard. And while you might spite him a lot, you were sad about it more than you were angry.
But anger always came easier to you than admitting to yourself and him that the break up really hurt you, that you want nothing more than to be friends if you couldn't have him as a partner. You wanted to hold him in your arms again, to fall asleep to his heartbeat every night.
You couldn't tell anyone that, of course, your pride would be in shambles.
So you took a deep breath and turned back to Hotch.
── ⋆。𖦹°‧
When Spencer and JJ got back to Quantico the team reassembled for the briefing. Everyone shared their thoughts and theories and Spencer explained what had happened at the hospital.
"Um…I know that there is a poison called curare, it's won from various plants and causes paralysis by binding to the acetylcholine receptor of the junction where two nerve cells dock together and therefore prevents nerve impulses from activating skeletal muscles. Could it be something like that?" You asked into the room.
Spencer was quiet for a moment and you're unsure whether he was impressed by your knowledge or just thinking really hard about the possibilities. "Well, we obviously can't tell because the bodies are burnt. But it's unlikely that he is using curare, given that Amilie wasn't paralysed, but developed Hyporeflexia."
Never mind, he was just thinking of a polite way to say, you're so far from the point, stupid.
"Right. So what do you think?" You almost added oh almighty! but were able to stop yourself. Because you're professional.
"As I already said," he gave you a look, "he is probably damaging the nervous system."
"Right, sorry. I meant, how is he doing that?" You had been able to sound so unfazed until this moment.
"I don't know," he frowned at you, as if his answer was obvious (you would like to state that it was not), "or I would have shared it already."
The team was nice enough not to comment on your little dispute, but it's clear that it was getting on their nerves. Especially Hotch, who was looking more stoic than usual, Morgan was finding it more amusing than anything.
"I'll get Garcia to search for similar occurrences in the area." You said quickly, already hurrying out of the room and away from the pending lecture.
Spencer watched you scurry off with a sinking feeling in his gut.
He didn't know why he bitt like a wounded dog every time the two of you spoke. He would like to think that it was because he just genuinely didn't like you anymore, but he knew that wasn't true. Hating you would be easier than this.
On the other side of the office, you ripped open door of Penelope Garcia's office and slammed it closed behind you, leaning back against it with a heavy sigh.
Penelope startled upright, turning her swivel chair to look at you with wide eyes. "Well, hello. Are you alright?"
"No," you whined dramatically. "All of this is so incredibly fucking fucked."
"Oh, love," she patted the place next to her. "He, who shall not be named again?"
You nodded, slumping into the chair. "He's just so—I just feel so…ugh. All we do is spite each other. When will this get easier?"
She looks at you with so much pity, you can't stand it. "I'm not going to tell you that it will pass with time, because, well…" She gave you a look that said nothing less than because you're quite dramatic, over the rim of her glasses.
While you huffed in response, you couldn't quite find a good argument that spoke against her unspoken statement, so your mouth stayed closed. But you didn't refrain from sending her a glare.
"What?" She asked innocently, if anything about Penelope Garcia can ever be called innocent.
You gave her a look. "Constructive criticism? Didn't we just talk about that?"
"I didn't even say anything! It's not my fault that you interpreted something into my very lovely face."
You decided that this was totally fruitless, your fault for thinking that you had a friend in her. "Can you look into past histories of people with hyporeflexia? Anything you can find. People who have been diagnosed with it in the past…let's say fifteen years, suspicious reports of it, someone being especially interested in it, maybe a lot of it happening in one area. You know the drill."
"Yep, totally, ma chère. One sec." She turned her chair towards the computer screen and began working her magic.
After what feels like three seconds—thank God for Penelope's speed on the keyboard and swift fingers—she piped up, "Hyporeflexia is quite a rare official diagnosis, so I cross referenced it with torture or unnatural causes and I found," a few more mouse clicks. "…a Theodore Wilson, who has been in and out of the hospital for severe burns and bruises a lot when he was young."
Frowning, you lean over Penelope's shoulder to look at the screen. "And that's relevant because…?"
"That, my gorgeous girl," she booped your nose with her fluffy pen and you scrunched your nose. "Is because they look suspiciously similar to our victims and…" She paused for dramatic effect. "Theodore's father was a biochemist best known for his research on Hyporeflexia."
You frown deepened. "Is his father still alive?"
A few clicks later, Penelope replied, "Nope." She popped the p. "He died last month, but Theo's mother still lives in Virginia."
"If we consider Theodore a suspect, his father's passing could have been the stressor. Thank you, Pen. Could you—"
"The address is sent to your phone." She smiled up at you as you got up and walked towards the door. "But don't think our talk about you-know-who is over!" She sing-songs just before you could leave.
You rolled your eyes. The nicknames were getting excessive.
"I can't hear you!" You called back just before closing the door behind you.
You froze when you turned and saw the team gathered in the bullpen area. "Um," you glanced at Spencer for just a millisecond to see how much he has heard, but his face seemed impassive. Looking back at your unit chief, you continued, "Penelope found a lead."
Hotch nodded for you to continue and you made your way closer to the group. Recognition flickered across Spencer's face at the name Don Wilson, but he said nothing as you continued to explain what Penelope found.
"Penelope send the address of his mother to me already." You said as you finished.
"Do you think he might be the first victim or the UnSub?" Hotch asked.
"Possibly both. That's what I'd like to find out by talking to the mother." You replied, taking the last steps towards the team.
Hotch nodded. "Morgan, you accompany her."
Great, just what you needed. Relentless teasing from Derek Morgan, fun!
The devil grinned. "Let's do this, doll."
── ⋆。𖦹°‧
You ignored Morgan the whole drive.
No, seriously, you didn't say a word to him besides giving him the directions. Of course that only stroked the fire.
When you finally did arrive at the house of Theodore's mother, you felt like you had just taught a class of first graders.
Morgan was in the middle of something like, "—come on, we're all waiting to hear what happened between you and pretty boy—" when you got out of the car and slammed the door shut. You couldn't stand to listen to even one more second of it.
But of course he just continued after exiting the car, too. "That bad, huh?"
If you didn't know any better, you might have thought there was some pity in that comment. "It's fine. And also really none of your business."
"You and Reid are kind of making it everyones business, princess."
Rolling your eyes at his statement, you sped up your steps along the gravel path. The faster you got to the door, the faster Morgan had to get into work mode and could finally stop behaving like an assho—
The door opened unexpectedly.
"Oh," an elderly woman—she must have been in her late sixties—startled back at the sight of the both of you. She had shoulder length red-brown hair that was frizzy and clearly not washed for at least two weeks. Her hands were fiddling with a button of her worn down brown cardigan.
Undoubtedly the woman you saw on the picture on Penelope's computer.
You quickly pulled out your badge, animating Morgan to do so as well. "Mrs. Wilson? We're with the FBI. My apologies if we startled you."
"The FBI?" She frowned, clutching her cardigan tightly around herself like an armour. "Why would the FBI come to my house?"
"Ma'am, we have reason to believe that your son might be involved in the case we are investigating right now." You said carefully, not knowing how much she could handle before having a heart attack.
"What? No, that—that's ridiculous! He—he…" she seemed to have forgotten what she was saying, now studying the ground for dirt.
Morgan and you glanced at each other. This was going to be difficult.
"Ma'am?" Morgan tried again. "Could we come in?"
She frowned up at him. "Yes, yes, of course. How rude of me." She made a sound that could have been a laugh as much as it could have been a sob.
"Make yourselves at home, dears. Oh, my apologies it's a little messy." She hurried across the room, gathering scraps of fabric and dirty dishes.
"Uh," you weren't sure how to say this politely, but you were in a rush and sour mood.
Luckily, Morgan saved you from having to come up with something polite. "Mrs. Wilson, we'd like to ask you some questions about your son, Theodore, if that is alright with you?"
"Oh, Theo," he fingertips touched her lips and her eyes welled up a little. It was a nostalgia only a mother could feel. "We—we don't talk a lot anymore, now that he is at university."
You frowned. There had been no evidence of Theodore being at university. "What is he studying?"
The woman seemed frozen in her thoughts. "Physics. No, that's not right…Chemistry, yes. He is studying chemistry at Princeton. He told me that."
You gave Morgan a signal to fact check that with Penelope and he left the room, leaving you to talk to Mrs. Wilson alone.
"Did he always like chemistry?"
"Yes, yes. When he was young, he always used to…no, I think that was biology." She laughed almost hysterically. "Can't keep up with that boy. So many talents."
Bingo. Biochemistry. His father's influence, no doubt. And it fit the theory of Theodore taking on his father's murderous tendencies. Just a little more and you had him.
"Was there any particular niche he was particularly interested in?"
"Yes, but…but I don't remember. You see, Don, my husband—Theo's father, he would know. He—he was the one who always went to the laboratory with Theo."
Laboratory? You froze at the mention of a possible secondary location. Double bingo, a place to hide the victims and possibly burn them. A place where his father could have taught him his ways, pass the torture down like some families might pass down jewellery.
"This lab," you asked cautiously, not wanting to come across too pushy or desperate (which you very much were). "You don't happen to know where it is?"
"Oh, it's abandoned now, run down, I'm certain. They stopped going there after Don got sick…" she couldn't finish the sentence, her eyes fogging up with grief.
You doubted that he just stopped going, but she didn't need to know that. "Is it possible that you find out where it is located?"
She nodded, mumbling something about a postcard before disappearing into another room.
Morgan came back from the hallway.
"There is no record of him at Princeton. No pay checks, nothing." He whispered to you.
That was to be expected. You just nodded.
All of this left you with a horrible, nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach. This woman had lost everything—her husband, her son, her sanity—but the hope she clung to was that her son was in university, building a life of his own, making a name for himself.
Now you were working on destroying that hope. It might ruin her entirely. Irrevocably.
She came back a second later, a postcard in her hands. "That's the address, I think." She held it out to you.
But as you went to grab it, fingers closing around it, she didn't let go, keeping a tight grip on it. Like a lifeline. Like a part of her knew, that if she let you have it, there was no going back to the normal she once knew.
"Mrs. Wilson…?" You tested carefully.
She startled. "Oh! I'm sorry." She let the paper go. "Here you go. I hope it helps with your…"
Her face creased up, thinking hard of a reason why two FBI agents could be in her house, asking for her perfect son who was studying chemistry in Princeton.
Morgan, ever the escape artist, waved politely, "You have been very helpful, Ma'am. We best be going then, have a nice day."
"Yes, yes, of course. You must be busy kids." But just as you stepped through the door, feet just hitting the gravel, she called after you. "Agents?"
Both of you turned. "Yes?" You asked politely.
"My son, when you visit him at Princeton, could—could you tell him I was sorry?"
"Of course, Ma'am." You let your voice trail off, hoping she would clarify what she was apologising for.
Mrs. Wilson leaned against the door with one hand, as if stabilising herself. "We had a fight, you see. The night before he left for Princeton. I never got to apologise to him."
You were tempted to ask what the fight was about, but you held back. It might be important for the case, but not enough to dig up the rotten bones. "Of course. We will tell him, Mrs."
"Thank you—thank you. Tell him I love him, too, would you be so kind?"
You nodded. "Of course."
Morgan and you walked away, then. Leaving the woman behind.
You didn't recall reaching the car, didn't recall Morgan unlocking it and even holding open the door for you to climb in. Too deep in the past, too caught up in the future.
The conversation with the mother affected you more than you'd like to admit. A fight could ruin so many relationships, it could make you go crazy, make you say things that caused you to drift further and further apart. Until you didn't know each other at all anymore, but you still clung to the past yous that you once were.
You only came to yourself when you felt the seat under you, when the engine started to hum.
"We had a fight." You mumbled as Morgan reversed out of the parking space.
"What?" He looked over at you shortly, confused. He couldn't recall having fought with you.
"Spencer and I. We fought. That's why we broke up."
Morgan felt a little like laughing. "You broke up because of a fight? Must have been one hell of a fight, then. The both of you were always so inseparable."
When you didn't laugh or react, Morgan glanced over at you again. You looked sad, in thought. With a big pout-slash-frown on your face, fingers fiddling with the sleeves if your button up.
"Hello? Earth to earthling?" He waved a hand in front of your face.
"Sorry." You glanced up at him. "I don't know why I brought it up, I don't like talking about it."
Bless him, Morgan's face softened a little. He wasn't heartless enough to keep teasing you when you clearly had a hard time. Well, okay, he had his moments.
"You don't have to talk about it."
"No, it's okay. We—We fought a lot, leading up to the break up. Silly things like the dishes, different opinions on different things.…The real issue was this job, though." You swallowed around the urge to bolt.
"The job?"
You nodded. "We brought it home with us, made it the centre piece of our relationship."
Morgan winced. It was the mistake every agent was afraid to make when entering a relationship.
"Yeah," you breathed out. "I know. But you know us, we work, that's just who we are."
"Workaholics." Morgan coughed to lighten the mood.
In any other situation you would have dug your elbow into his side, scowled at him. But not in this one.
"It got too much in the end. The fear, the paranoia. We just…snapped. We talked it out, funnily enough that conversation was quite calm. Though we were naive enough to think we could stay friends." You sniffed.
It surprised him, to find out you were struggling so much in the past months leading up to your break up. "You always seemed so happy at work. Everyone agreed when I said you two were meant for each other."
"Yeah, well, things that are meant for each other aren't always the right thing."
"Do you really believe that? Or are you scared that it won't work out if you tried again and you opened yourself up for nothing?" He lifted one hand from the wheel to put air quotes around the word nothing.
You glared at his side profile. "Okay, Mr. Therapist."
"What?" He looked at you again, before focusing back on the road. "I'm just saying. Reid is so far gone for you, opening up to him would never be for nothing. If you want it to work you have to work for it."
"Since when are you an expert on relationships, Derek 'has a new girl every week' Morgan." You rolled your eyes. But you couldn't deny that his words stirred something inside you.
"Okay, you're just being mean now, sugar. I'm incredibly wise." He pretended to push glasses up his nose.
That got a laugh out of you. A real, stomach ache inducing laugh. Maybe you were hysterical now, too.
Morgan smiled at that. He was glad to hear that sound again, after months filled with frown lines and sharp tones.
After you calmed down, you got back into work mode, calling the team and telling them what you had discovered. You told Penelope to check the address and she confirmed that it was an abandoned laboratory.
Now everything happened quickly. Hotch ordered you to drive to the lab and wait for the team, to be on alert for anyone entering or leaving the building, but not to—under any circumstances—enter or separate from each other.
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Not even twenty minutes later, you and Morgan arrived at the laboratory and prepared by putting on your vests and checking your guns.
The other black SUVs lined up in front of the main entrance shortly after.
You caught Spencer's eyes as he got out of the car. He scanned you from head to toe for injuries. When he found none, the concern on his face melted away quickly enough for you to consider you had imagined it.
"No one has entered or left the front door in the time we were here." You said when the team reassembled.
Hotch nodded. "Morgan, you and Prentiss go in from behind and search the lower level. JJ, Rossi and I search the second floor."
"But that means—" Spencer started to protest but Hotch has already pointed at you.
"You and Reid, go to the upper level."
Because you were so focused on the case (totally not because you want to show Hotch you could be more professional than Spencer), you just nodded.
"Good. Let us not waste time we don't have." Hotch frowns and everyone goes their separate ways.
Spencer glanced at you and you glanced at him. This was the first time you had been alone together since the break up and you were both unsure what to do with each other.
"Is your vest secure?" Spencer asked after a short awkward pause. He took a step closer and you try your best not to flinch back. Professional, you remind yourself like a mantra.
"Yes." You retort steadily enough, but he was already reaching out to tug on the straps.
You frowned at the display of worry, but decided on letting him have his moment. Purely to save energy, of course.
"Fine, let's go up." He said as he was satisfied with your vest. Together you made your way up the stairwell onto the upper level.
As you sneaked through the eerily quiet lab, the only sound heard was the clacking of your heeled boots on the resin floor.
Spencer glared at you. "Couldn't have worn a worse shoe for this, could you?" He whispered.
"I could've hardly worn my crocks." You snapped back. "Focus."
Both of your guns were trained around the corners as you carefully assed the situation. So far there was nothing that seemed too out of the ordinary for an abandoned laboratory. Broken glass, dusty workstations, pipes…Nothing to accompany you and Spencer but silence.
Until a shot rang out. And you wince.
The bullet just barely grazed your upper arm but it was enough to make a crimson blotch bloom on your white button up.
Spencer pulled you behind a corner before you could get hurt even worse and presses his hand over your wound.
He wrapped a hand around your wrist to hold your arm still and assessed your arm. "Does it hurt badly?"
"It's fine. Focus on the UnSub." You scowled, pushing against his shoulders with your free hand. Spencer didn't budge. "Reid, I'm so serious—"
"No, I'm serious," he said your name sternly. "Answer my ques—"
Another shot rang out before he could finish repeating himself, but it thankfully didn't hit anyone.
You gave him a look that says see? I fucking told you so. and pushed him away to glance around the corner to fire some shots at the guy.
"The suspect is in the upper level." You said into the microphone. "He's wearing a black bomber. Brown hair. I can't tell much. He's armed and shooting." You listed off.
"Copy that." Answered JJ's voice back to you.
"Get," Spencer grumbled, "behind the wall."
"You almost sound worried." You grinned and taunted him by doing the direct opposite of his command, leaning further around the corner.
"That's because I am. It doesn't look great on my report if I just let you die." He bitt out, pulling you back by your wrist that he still hasn't let go of.
Unfortunately, he ended up slamming your back against the wall in the process.
You made a noise that could only be described as a grunt. "Oh, and manhandling does?"
Both of you were now pressed against the wall, with Spencer's arms caging you in so you couldn't make a run for it and do something even more reckless.
"I'll just put it down as keeping you from sabotaging the mission." He was panting, and for a moment the thought of just how attractive he was crossed your mind. Until you shook it off.
Just as you opened your mouth to taunt him some more, you ear piece crackles and Hotch's voice was heard saying yours and Spencer's names, "—what is your position?"
"We're still—fuck!" Another shot rang out before you could finish the sentence, hitting a pipe on the opposing wall and causing you to flinch. Steam hissed from the hole. Spencer shushed you and you were tempted to snap at him, but you lowered your voice instead. Staying quiet was in your best interest, to make the shooter believe you were hit and the danger passed.
"Still on the third floor. He's got us cornered." You continued quietly.
And because Spencer just couldn't leave it at that, he added into the mic, "She's hurt, we will need an ambulance when we're out of here."
Glaring, you retorted, "I'm fine, a bullet just grazed my arm."
"It's still important to get it checked out!" Spencer replied in a harsh whisper. He was really pushing your buttons now.
"We're on our way up. Try to get him into the stairwell." Is the only response you get from Hotch.
You breathe out. "Okay, let's try to get to the stairwell."
Spencer nods, gesturing for you to take the lead and finally stepped back to free you from the cage of his arms. (And the suffocating urge to kiss him.)
With your gun stretched out in front of of you, you carefully take step after step along the eerily quiet hallway.
"You go right," Spencer murmured, "I'll take the left."
"What? No—" But it was an impossible task, stopping Spencer Reid once he was set on doing something. He had already disappeared into another hallway.
"Does he learn nothing from his mistakes?" You mumbled to yourself, but do as he demanded nonetheless.
You placed one foot in front of the other with caution, rounding the corners not before listening into the silence.
Suddenly there was a noise. You didn't know if it was Spencer, your imagination or the UnSub, but all of your body was braced for battle.
Taking a deep breath, you rounded the corner. The hallway ended with a wall adorned with two doors. One lead to the stairwell, spiralling down into the second floor.
The other door was open. It looked like a lab to you, but you didn't have a good enough angle to see what was inside. The walls specked with dust and grime, mold forming in the crevices.
You caught movement in the room and walked slowly towards it. You had a half formed though to signal to Spencer through the mic, but before you could execute it, you had already entered the room.
A man stood with his back to you at one of the work stations. You took another step towards him, but your boot crushed a shard of glass under its heel. You froze.
Theodore spun around in panic, picking his gun up from the counter. "You—You should be—I shot you."
You breathed in deep to steady your voice. Theo's choice of words struck a match of hope in you. Maybe he didn't know that Spencer and the rest of the team were in the building, too. Maybe he just saw you.
"The bullet graced my arm." You confirmed, taking a step closer to him.
"Get back. Get back!" He screamed, forcing you to walk deeper into the room with his gun, so his back was to the door. "If you shoot, I'll go down pressing the trigger and you will go down, too."
His hand was shaking around the gun, he looked like he might drop it every moment. The room was dark, just a little sliver of light coming through the small window.
You watched it flicker and tried to come up with something to say, but your brain blanked on the profile.
Being a profiler had taught you a lot, but in this moment all you could focus on was that Spencer was somewhere in this building and you had no idea if he was safe.
"Theo, I know what your father did to you, how he would train you to take every hit without flinching, the burning." You said carefully.
"Don't—don't talk about my father like you know anything! Because you don't—you don't know anything!Lower you gun!" He spit out.
Just as you were trying to find a way to tell him that there was no way you would lower your gun, you saw Spencer through the doorframe behind Theo, gun pointed at him, too. You tried not to look at him as you continued.
"I won't shoot if you don't give me a reason to, Theo. I—I talked to your mother." You tried in a last desperate attempt to deescalate the situation.
That seemed to get his attention, he lowered his gun a little, before taking a step closer to you pointing it at you again. "Leave my mother out of this." He growled.
You continued anyway. "She told me that she was sorry, about your fight before you left. She is so, so proud of you, Theo. Told me to tell you that she loves you. Nothing could make her stay mad at you forever, she just wants you in her life again." You tried not to look at Spencer as you spoke the words to Theo that were really meant for him.
Tears formed in Theo's eyes. A sight that you had seen just forty minutes earlier, in his mother's. "Stop! It doesn't matter if she's proud. I lied to her! I lied."
"Of course it matters, if you put the weapon down and come back with us to the station, you could see her again. You could be her son again."
His laugh is hollow as he said, "Do you think I'm stupid? You're trying to get me to surrender. What do you called it? A talk down? Making false promises just to get me locked up. You never end up keeping them." His grip on the trigger tightened.
Another thing you learned as a profiler was not to get attached to victims or UnSubs. And while most of the team had failed at that, you had always considered yourself lucky—or heartless, for that matter.
But as you watched the pain on Theo's face, you understood. Maybe not everything he did, but you understood the cause. Understood that all of his life was set up for him to end here, in this lab, two guns pointed at him.
Behind him, Spencer nodded towards the stairs and you tried to signal to him that you didn't understand without exposing his location. He just gestured towards them again, frowning at you to just do as he said.
He took a few steps deeper into the room to clear the doorway, somehow managing not to get caught by Theo. It was a gamble he gladly took if it meant you were safe. "Theo, you don't have to do this."
Spencer's voice startled Theo and for a second you were terrified that he was going to shoot. But instead, he just turned around quickly, panicked pointing the gun at Spencer.
Your moment to run. Just to get help and come back to him. You sprinted out of the room, past Theo and Spencer. Theo shouted "No!" but it was too late, you were already half down the stairs.
You silently begged Spencer to hold on for a little longer. But just as you practically jumped of the last step in a hurry, you heard a gunshot.
Freezing on the bottom of the steps for the fraction of a second, you tried not to panic, but just as you turned to sprint back up the stairs, an arm wrapped around your middle, the other covering your mouth.
"Shh," came Rossi's voice from behind you. You struggled as he dragged you out of the building.
Fresh air hit your face as you were forced to exit, but all you could think about was the fact that Spencer's dead body might be lying on the third level of an abandoned laboratory.
You tried to pull back from him but he wouldn't let you. "No—Spencer. Spence is still—Spencer!" You struggled against his grip.
"You can't go back in there—" Rossi said your name. "The kid is smart, you know that. He—"
Before he could finish, there was another gunshot, this one closer. You almost sank to your knees as everyone around you prepared to take down the UnSub.
And were rebuild when Spencer emerged from the building a few seconds later, hands raised, "Don't shoot, he is injured, but breathing." He gestured behind him somewhere.
Rossi finally let you go when Spencer was far enough away from danger.
Not wasting a minute, you ran towards Spencer, almost crashing into him in the process.
Emily, JJ and an EMT passed you in a blur as they went into the laboratory to secure Theo. You barely registered them.
"What happened?" You didn't know whether to push him or to kiss him. You opted for the first, pushing against his shoulders. "Why would you tell me to leave? I—We had it handled. Together. I—I—You fucking scared me."
Spencer just pulled you to him by your good arm and wrapped you in a tight embrace. He didn't say anything for a while, just letting you process your feelings.
The fear of loosing Spencer for good, the pain of the break up, the conflicting feelings of having to work with your ex (that you're still very much in love with). You clung to him as your emotions overtake you. And, fuck, your arm hurt!
"Shh, it's okay. I'm okay. Here—" he pulled back with some difficulty, given that you had quite a firm grip on him, and took your hand in his, placing it on the side of his neck. "Can you feel that? I'm okay."
You nodded. "You're okay." You breathed out, looking from your hand on his pulse point, to his eyes. "Why would you do that?" Tears pricked at your eyes.
"I didn't think rationally. All I could think about was that there was a gun pointed at you and all my brain would come up with was stupid ideas to make him point it at me. Please forgive me."
He looked at you with his big, sad, brown puppy eyes, while his thumb brushed softly against the skin under your eye to catch your tears before they could fall.
You would have said something flirty like, you might have to make it up to me some more, if you weren't so terribly mad at him. "Maybe. I can't promise anything."
He smiled softly despite your answer. Maybe even because of it. It was a silly thought, you not forgiving him. "I can work with maybe."
An EMT whisked you away shortly after, but Spencer's hand stayed in yours until they slipped apart and his arm fell to his side.
He wasn't sure if he could just follow, he stayed away and watched you get checked out by the EMTs.
All of it—the story of you and him—reminded him of Cassandra witnessing the fall of Troy. It was stupid to compare two people who were so insignificant to history to two of histories most known tragedies, but it fit like he still did into the palm of your hand.
He had known that he would never be able to get over you. No one had believed him, telling him that time heals all wounds and that he couldn’t see the bigger picture yet, because he was still in it.
But he had known, and it still rang true. You were it for him and he would never find anyone that made him feel more like himself. It was foolish to think he could survive the break up, foolish to think he would get over it.
Hell, he had taken being on the receiving end of your spite over being your friend because it meant you'd look at him and feel something.
Taking all of his courage together, Spencer decided to approach you after the EMT finished patching you up.
"Hey," he said gently. This was the first time you talked without snarling at each other outside of work since the break up and it felt like finally breathing fresh air again after living purely off of carbon dioxide. "Doing good? How is your arm?"
You looked up at him from the steps on the back of the ambulance. You looked rough, exhausted. The sleeves of your shirt were rolled up to allow the EMT to bandage your wound.
It felt different now, talking to you. The moment of adrenaline had passed and he had no idea how to talk to you. The times of snarling seemed to be over, but the ones of kissing and I love you's were long gone, too.
"I'm okay. All patched up. I don't think I will ever take my reflexes for granted ever again." You tried to smile, but it didn't reach your eyes. "How are you?"
He wanted to deflect, to twist it back to you, but he humoured you. "Exhausted, but I'm good. I'm just glad you're safe."
What he actually wanted to say was: I love you, I'm glad you're speaking to me again. Let's never split up again. Please. And: I miss you, I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like everyone is running laps around me for the first time in my life.
Of course, he said none of it, this wasn't the time to dig that hole. Instead he just looked at you.
The blue of the sirens flickered on your face and even though you looked exhausted, he could't help but think you were the most beautiful thing Mother Earth has sculpted. The Grand Canyon was nothing in comparison to the frown lines on your face, the stars nothing compared to your freckles and birthmarks.
You looked back at him then, but thankfully didn't question the look on his face that without a doubt read, I love you.
Instead, you rested your head on his shoulder in a silent, I love you, too.
There was so much to talk about, so much to tell him, but when he insisted on taking you home, because he wouldn't let you drive home alone after the events of today, all you cared about was that he was there again. Fully. Without snapping, without pretend hate. Just the old you and the old him again.
You fell into your bed that night, the glaring blue light of your digital clock telling you that it was 3am. Earlier than a lot of other late nights at the BAU.
Spencer didn't hesitate to take off your work clothes, didn't ask where your pyjamas were, didn't stop to think what this all meant for you now. He didn't need to, all of this was an Obvious.
You didn't tell him to lay down next to you, to climb under the covers and flip the light off, to let you rest your head on his chest. He just did all of it. Because it was a routine, the known in all the unknown that was your relationship now. A Constant.
In the morning, you would talk about it. While he was changing your bandage with careful fingers. But right now, the sound of Spencer's heart beating your name lulled you to sleep.
In the end, fear and worry had been the best matchmakers.
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thank you so much for reading! please remember reblogging, commenting and liking if you enjoyed the fic. feedback is appreciated!! 𝜗𝜚
second a/n: I'm debating whether or not I should write a second part, but I'm not sure if there is any interest in that, so feel free to let me know:)
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jeongiegram · 4 months ago
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The puzzle piece about Rhaegar that is really interesting but unfortunately often overlooked is that he was relieved when he realized he was not TPTWP. Yes, relieved. Conflicted too which I will get into. And I believe it is obvious that when Rhaegar first read about Aegon's prophecy, he was not enthused— It seems I must be a warrior is trotted out to talk about Rhaegar's gender expression, his disconnect with capital m Masculinity that is purposely contrasted to Robert Baratheon reveling in it (indeed only making sense within the context of violence, battle, war) but there is more to the compulsion involved in the words It seems and I must than just It seems I must become an archetype. Socially becoming a fighter was already expected of him but he was not, presumably, in compliance with this expectation. The prophecy motivated him in a different way than you will be socially rewarded for acting as a man does.
Which brings me to another point i.e. how Rhaegar perceived himself prior to reading what he read; his connection to the tragedy of his birth and the grief, the resentment, the awkward dynamics between members of his family. "Oh he was a child" yes but we're told that Rhaegar did not act like, think like, or even particularly get along with others his age. So it's safe to say he was aware of Summerhall and felt it's shadow surrounding him from a young age. And Aegon's prophecy, combined with the Ghost of High Heart's prophecy, the events of Summerhall, put this weight on his shoulders completely into context. It was not that Rhaegar desired to be TPTWP because he took to it with determination but no particular joy. Every indicator just seemed to demand he give himself over to fulfilling this role. TPTWP was coming from Aerys and Rhaella's line? Well, he was their only child. Consult Maester Aemon on the matter? Yeah kid it's you. Ancient scrolls? Dusty, but they agree. Dead ancestors? Oh wait, they died so YOU could live. Woah.
This understanding basically necessitates us looking to ASOS Daenerys who also has some knowledge of TPTWP prophecy, and thanks to the Rhaegar-Daenerys pipeline, we can imagine that Rhaegar had similar thoughts to Daenerys, such as when she asks herself: The dragon has three heads. There are two men in the world who I can trust, if I can find them. I will not be alone then. We will be three against the world, like Aegon and his sisters. Who are Rhaegar's fellow two heads? Daenerys wonders at this, telling Jorah that her brothers are dead. Well Rhaegar's brothers die too, right in front of him. Rhaella suffers miscarriage after stillbirth after crib death. She is punished for this by Aerys via isolation and presumably Rhaegar is also kept separate from her— textually we know that Rhaegar was expected to take a sister to bride, i.e. further targcest was going to be enforced by Aerys, and to Rhaegar the loss would have also been of the other two people who would have fulfilled the requirements of the prophecy. Yes that's true. However, it was also the loss of his mother.
Rhaella was 13 when she had Rhaegar so it would be ridiculous to even think that she, a child, a Queen from when Rhaegar was 3, was this grand maternal figure to him. Of course she wasn't. There was too much on her shoulders. Too much on Aerys's shoulders as well, to be any sort of father except the kind who trotted Rhaegar out as an impressive little heir from time to time. Rhaegar was Aerys's success (it's the duty of the patriarch to sire sons who will continue the line) but as Rhaegar's siblings failed to survive, that success became a dicey thing. So when Viserys was born & survived, there is a thought that Rhaegar would latch onto such a sibling. This isn't the case— in fact, Viserys is Rhaella's. She coddles him. Keeps him close. Safe from Aerys (who already has Rhaegar). Viserys tells Dany stories about Rhaegar but this is done in the sense that he does not truly know Rhaegar. Why wouldn't Rhaegar have spent more time with Viserys, if he was motivated by fulfillment of the prophecy?
Because Viserys was Rhaella's, perhaps. Rhaegar never truly got to be his mother's son. To leech Viserys away from her... there's something in that. When Rhaella warmly welcomed Rhaegar's daughter, too. Rhaella's was Aerys's wife and property, which Rhaegar knew because he was also Aerys's property. Rhaella was mother to his brother. Rhaella was a grandmother to his daughter. She was everything but the woman who raised him.
"Rhaegar was a lonely man anyway due to his depression" yes that's true. There is an asceticism to Rhaegar Targaryen. The places he enjoys are bare and stripped, places he can keep his own company: Summerhall, the place of his birth, haunted, full of magic. Dragonstone where he retreats after his marriage, a place where the last embers of Valyria's magic died. Later the Tower of Joy is in a barren desert. But he finds a beauty in these places. He writes music that pushes him back into the shared world, songs he shares with people, about people, about lovers and those who sacrificed and who he is deeply moved by— almost like he's motivating himself. People are drawn to him.
Despite his lack of connection to Rhaella and Viserys he does bond with people. Arthur Dayne, who for all we can try and complicate, apply horseshoe theory to, is meant as the juxtaposition to characters such as the Smiling Knight. Brave as brass Myles Mooton whose memory his people still call upon. Richard Lonmouth and Jon Connington, both technically vassals to Robert Baratheon, funny little irony there. Princess Elia his wife who he is fond of along with the Dornishmen she comes to court with, "particularly" Prince Lewyn of the Kingsguard, who is in Rhaegar's confidence (per AWOIAF). These bonds seem strong because not a whiff of possible disloyalty on Rhaegar's part ever reaches Aerys despite it definitely existing and Aerys actively looking for it (again per AWOIAF). Do these confidantes know about Aegon's prophecy? IDK. At least in JonCon's case the answer seems to be no. However we also know JonCon wasn't actually the closest to Rhaegar. Nonetheless, I think we can assume that outside of Arthur Myles and Richard most of these were political relationships which Rhaegar pursued and all were concerned about Aerys's instability— there is also Tywin who Rhaegar performs certain overtures towards (such as knighting Gregor, Tywin's man, at a time when the Aerys-Tywin relationship had just grown particularly sour) indicating he'd like him as an ally. This is all straying away from TPTWP but I think it's important, it shows that even imbued with purpose, Rhaegar was in a position that did not lend itself towards him being able to take much action...
Then winter breaks. Spring comes. Nobody knows it's false yet. Rhaegar's whole deal is this coming Long Night. Everyone takes, quite literally, a breath of fresh air, and the tourney of Harrenhal commences, with Rhaegar as a shadow sponsor, thinking to call an informal Great Council which will begin to deal with Aerys (step 1)(step 1 failed).
This is where matters of prophecy come back into focus. I've covered Rhaegar's various relationships, the shallowness of them, the stagnancy in Developments due to Aerys's paranoia, etc. Harrenhal is not a solitary place but it is flush with magic in a way similar to Summerhall and Dragonstone— all places where dragons have died Harrenhal is thematically the cannibal dragon let's not get into that. And this is important to Rhaegar's characterization because of how things unfold with Lyanna Stark in several ways: 1) Lyanna cries to his song. Before they formally meet Lyanna is touched by the magic and purpose and sacrifice and yes, love, of which Rhaegar sings. It speaks to her. Of course, many others likely cried too. Common occurrence, see: A song of love and doom, Jon Connington recalled, and every woman in the hall was weeping when he put down the harp. Not the men, of course. Rhaegar gender moment but I digress. 2) Rhaegar's discovery of her as the KOTLT despite Robert & Richard Lonmouth both vowing to do so, those raucous manly men, both of whom failed; Rhaegar's subsequent hiding of her identity to unknown consequence for himself if any. All he produces is her shield which is painted with a tree on it, a purposeful callback to Duncan the Tall's shield, both Lyanna and Dunk being 'false knights' yet, in their actions, true ones. Sorry I love Lyanna so much I can't resist plugging her greatest hits 3) Rhaegar winning the tourney, the only tourney he's ever won... and immediately tainting his victory by awarding it to Lyanna instead.
I bring this all up and frame it because here we see that Rhaegar is not really invested in his own victory or legacy or even really his honor. His wife Princess Elia is there and she is pregnant with his son, something he could commemorate in the same vein that Aerys "honored" Rhaegar by showcasing him at various tourneys, an ode to a future warrior king, but Rhaegar doesn't do that. It's not his victory as a Man. It's never been about his victory as a Man. It doesn't even need to be his victory.
Neither does Aegon's prophecy. Rhaegar rapidly realizes that on two fronts: second, the false spring ends. It wasn't real! Rhaegar's spring isn't the lasting one. First, though, is that Rhaegar and Elia's son Aegon is born, a difficult birth in which Elia is rendered infertile. Who does this remind you of? Oh right, Aerys with Rhaella— only Rhaegar does not go about trying to impregnate Elia again. Rhaegar becomes convinced Aegon is TPTWP— something he was already thinking, prior. Rhaegar was never so invested in himself being TPTWP that he could not be convinced otherwise. Maester Aemon: Rhaegar, I thought... the smoke was from the fire that devoured Summerhall on the day of his birth, the salt from the tears shed for those who died. He shared my belief when he was young, but later he became persuaded that it was his own son who fulfilled the prophecy, for a comet had been seen above King's Landing on the night Aegon was conceived, and Rhaegar was certain the bleeding star had to be a comet. Rhaegar agreeing "when he was young" and being "certain the bleeding star had to be a comet" all indicate that he had been looking into the possibility that TPTWP was Not Him for a while. The visits to Summerhall— maybe they were a search for proof by encasing himself in the lingering magic of the place? He still messed up the prince/princess translation presumably because baby Rhaenys never seemed to be in the conversation. (The bleeding star was in fact a comet, funnily enough, a little consolation prize for the pretty boy.) Here's what we know: in Daenerys's vision, Elia asks if Rhaegar will write Aegon a son, we can assume because he wrote their firstborn Rhaenys a song, but Rhaegar says no, he already has one. The song of ice and fire. Aegon doesn't get a song. Why? Rhaegar believes he must be a warrior.
Yet, he sings for him anyway.
Rhaegar's "it seems" and "I must" and distance from Viserys and inner conflict about Aerys and doubt about his own place in the grand scheme of things all come to fruition with Aegon's birth. Rhaegar isn't TPTWP— and it spurs him into action. A weight is off his shoulders so now he can act. As in the case of crowning Lyanna, when the purpose of a task is not to honor or elevate him, we see Rhaegar able to perform in ways he could not before.
Namely there are two veins: acting against Aerys and seeking out information of the prophecy, but Rhaegar's general direction (through the Riverlands past Harrenhal) seems to indicate that he was headed towards the Ghost of High Heart. Not Summerhall, a place of mysticism meant to soothe Rhaegar. Rather a place of pain. The Ghost of High Heart who gorged on grief at Summerhall, who only ever demands Jenny's song (which Rhaegar seems to have wrote), who sees in Arya who looks like Lyanna, who looks like Jon, death. But instead of ever making it there... Rhaegar meets Lyanna.
And then they disappear. There are the Rhaegarwars to consider so I'm just going to say that, at the least, Lyanna did not want to marry Robert though society dictated that she must, and in removing her, she was removed from this. From there she came to be in Dorne in a place that was desolate desert, but similar to Summerhall, which was also abandoned, held something of magic in that it was near where Those Who Sing The Song of the Earth had split the Arm of Dorne. We can say a lot more about this but that's not the point of the post. I have explained Rhaegar as a person disconnected from his mother, later a person who in several manners refuses to act as Aerys did towards Rhaella, indicating that disconnect troubled him — Rhaegar's limited amount of close relationships with people he admired and the deep loyalty shown to him, presumably for a reason — Rhaegar's willingness to interrogate himself & his assumptions about the world.
So when I say Rhaegar was relieved what I mean is that upon suspecting and, to his mind, confirming that he was not the fulfillment of Aegon's prophecy, Rhaegar became proactive in ways he had yearned for but not been able to before. The Rhaegar that died with Lyanna's name as his last word was not a Rhaegar who died thinking the world was doomed without him. I think the Rhaegar that died on the Trident was a Rhaegar who had escaped the shadow of fate only to meet it, face to face.
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jeongiegram · 4 months ago
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Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a movie first and foremost about the destruction of minority neighborhoods and public transit by the American car industry. After that, it's a technological milestone. And then it's about cartoons
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jeongiegram · 4 months ago
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half baked thought rattling around my mind about how Ramsay degendering (my creature)/feminising (bath maid) Theon isn’t just about breaking down his sense of self (in which masculinity is one of the main pillars of his identity along with class) but is also specifically moulding him into one of Ramsay’s usual victims (lower class women)
there is a lot more in my head about this but it’s just a noticeboard with thousands of red strings, a mugshot of Theon Greyjoy, and the words GENDER and CLASS circled in permanent marker instead of like. anything legible.
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jeongiegram · 4 months ago
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💕💕💕
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Childhood Companions Aka Rhaenicent sims
post inspired by @simstoricalish <3
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jeongiegram · 4 months ago
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this was so cute!!
❝ 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬. ❞
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┊ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: betrothed to cregan stark, you seek respite in his chambers, unaccustomed to the blistering chill of the north. feelings become reality.
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: cregan stark x jace’s sister reader.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.2K.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: smut (mdni), inexperienced reader, there was only one bed, getting warm gone sexual, heavy kissing, groping, mild hand kink, cregan calls the reader “princess” a lot, body worship, breast play/sucking, biting/light marking, thigh riding, dry humping/grinding, fingering (fem!rec), spooning.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this was a random idea I cooked up but I actually got so wound up when writing this no joke 🧍 I love cregan so much, he’s husband !! as always, I hope you all enjoy reading, thank you sm! ❤️
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TALES OF THE UNRELENTING NORTH OFTEN SPILLED FROM THE LIPS OF SOUTHERN NURSEMAIDS — WHISPERS OF SNOWFALLS PILED AS HIGH AS TOWERS, HOWLING GALES THAT CARRIED THE STING OF ICE WITH IT, TEMPERATURES THAT WOULD FREEZE MEN ALIVE.
If only you knew the truth of the matter, you might’ve recalled such stories and used them to your benefit.
Dragonstone was oftentimes tepid, a rocky island surrounded by saltwater tides and the kiss of summertime, where heat was a common commodity. Coming here, to Winterfell, you had experienced a rather dramatic shift in atmosphere.
From the moonlit gloom of your bedchambers, you watched a blizzard rage on, wisps of white whipping past your window. Gooseflesh clung to your skin like that of a plague, and you felt yourself being tormented by an incessant cold.
Glacial are the wreaths of snow-furled gales that blanket Winterfell in their pale callousness — it even seeps into your bones, bones forged of fire and blood. It makes you yearn for the South, for the kiss of heat, the lapping of the waves.
Unaccustomed to the biting weather of the North, you had come ill-prepared, thin shift doing little to shield you from the gnaw of ice. It was the hour of the ghost, too late to summon servants and too late to disturb the castle with your whims.
Cregan Stark, your betrothed, was the only one that you could think of who might still be awake at this ungodly hour.
This union formed between Starks and Targaryens was an arrangement of convenience, unlikely allies on the precipice of a tumultuous civil conflict. It was your willingness that had made this all possible — a scion of Rhaenyra, sent away to the blistering North.
Much to your own bewilderment, you did not dislike your current arrangement. Cregan’s stoicism and stalwart demeanor did not chafe at you as it did with others, and his alliance in this matter was of grave importance.
He was a grizzled man, his exterior rough, but you were no stranger to such behavior.
From what you had gleaned of him thus far, he was resolute and rugged, with a penchant for justice and honor — similar to most of the Starks. In the spirit of transparency, he was aesthetically pleasing to gaze upon, and you did plenty of it when time permitted.
A shiver ran down your spine as you tightened a furred robe around your body, and even that did not serve you well. Seizing a candlestick from atop the dead hearth’s mantle, you made your way from your quarters, greeted by a swell of silence.
The ghastly howl of the wintertime squall surged outside, like the shrill cry of a spectre. It did little to ease your nerves, body rattling like a leaf from the ceaseless chill.
The candle’s lick of warmth danced across your wrist, and it made you yearn for more, breath emerging in warm wisps as you made your way to Cregan’s chambers. It was inappropriate of you to disrupt him like this, but sleep evaded you — between missing home and the cold, you doubted that rest would find you.
Standing before the imposing doors of the Lord of Winterfell, your knuckles rapped timidly against the rough wood, drawing your robe around you once more. Waiting with bated breath, your shoulders straightened at the sound of movement from the other side of the door.
As ancient wood groaned in protest, Cregan’s massive form encapsulated much of the doorway, dark brows furrowed together. “My Lady,” His rumbling timbre often filled you with pangs of excitement. “Are you well?”
Concern laced itself into his cadence, fearing that something might’ve happened to you, or you’d received some sort of news. Storm-laden hues picked you apart in observance, noticing the way your body constantly trembled.
The desire for warmth had clouded everything else; you did not register his lack of clothing upon first glance. Cregan’s musculature was openly displayed, save for the trousers that clung to his hips.
“I am,” Your grip tightened around the base of the candlestick. “Forgive me, my Lord, I — the hearth has died in my chambers and it is much too late to rouse any of the servants. I am unaccustomed to this sort of climate.”
Cregan did not protest to your presence, stepping aside to invite you into his chambers. “You are welcome to warm yourself, my Lady.” Gesturing for you to enter, you were greeted by a roaring fire, gripped by an immediate relief.
A sigh of subdued joy slipped past your lips as you moved towards the crackling flames, feeling heat lick across your flesh. Cregan noticed how poorly dressed you were for such weather — a thin shift and one layer of fur would not do.
Admittedly, it might’ve been untoward for you to be here, not yet wed, in the chambers of your intended. You did not want to besmirch Cregan’s honor, nor lead anyone to believe that you’d gone to him with malicious intent.
“I apologize if this is a disturbance, I … I did not know where else to go,” A pang of realization rippled through you, then. “I do not want you to think that I’ve come here with any foul notions.”
A brief huff spread throughout his chest as the Northern lord moved to sit atop the fur-laden footlocker at the end of his bed. “I do not believe your plight of warmth to be dishonorable,” A hint of amusement lingered within his tone. “This is not the South.”
Allowing yourself to relax, you seemed to abandon your coiled posture, placing the candlestick along the mantle above the hearth. “It is not.” Something forlorn saturated your voice, a wistful longing to return to Dragonstone, to your mother.
Cregan could discern the twinge of melancholy within your tone, enough to garner some concern. He knew that this was all unfamiliar to you — and he did not want you to feel unwelcome.
“What troubles you?” His inquiry was born of sympathy, a desire to understand you better. This betrothal was an unexpected thing, but he had no intention of making either of you miserable.
As firelight danced across your features, Cregan fought against baser instincts, crass thoughts of lesser men; and he was not above them. Your beauty was renowned, taking after the features of your Highborn mother, some remnants of your father still present.
An amalgamation of true adoration, no less.
Captivating was a mere understatement, not worthy enough of your appearance, bathed in an orange glow. As grey hues subtly admired your countenance, he realized that your gaze seemed to do the very same, a mutual exchange.
Lips parted, words turning to ash upon your tongue as you clamored for an appropriate response, not wanting to burden him with your lamenting of home. A soft stirring resonated from your throat. “I miss home — my Mother, most of all.”
The softness of your confession was not lost upon him, a sentiment that Cregan could certainly understand. “You are not a prisoner here, my Lady,” He murmured, brows gathering together. “You are permitted to return to Dragonstone and visit, if it pleases you.”
“Duty is sacrifice,” You lamented, a threadbare smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “With conflict on the horizon, it is best if I stay here — it doesn’t lessen the sting, but I know what is expected of me.”
Cregan found it admirable, your acknowledgment of your pledge here, the very root of your betrothal; even then, he would not begrudge you for returning to your family. He was half a stranger, someone that you were growing accustomed to.
“I admire you for it,” Gray hues like that of a swirling snowstorm hadn’t left you, drinking in your features as if you were some magnificent piece of artwork. He grew quiet, noticing the occasional shudder that coursed throughout your body. “Here.”
Lifting a bundle of thick bearskin, Cregan invited you to sit beside him, if you chose. Lacking your typical shrewdness, you stepped forward, joining him atop the footlocker as he shrouded you in the furry hide.
Sinking into the furs, you exhaled, feeling warmth return to your bones as you basked within the dancing firelight. Nestled beside your betrothed, you exuded plentiful restraint, tearing your gaze away from the bare muscle that brushed against you.
There was some grizzled perfection about him — rough, like uneven leather; as mountainous as the Wall itself. Yet, beneath this hardened exterior, he was endlessly soft, a notion that enticed you. He never made you feel an ounce of discomfort.
“Thank you for this,” A sigh floated from your lips, stare trained upon the hearth’s soothing glow as you warmed yourself at his side. “I have felt so alone in coming here, but you have made me feel as if I do have someone.”
Admittedly, he had his doubts about your betrothal — House Targaryen was as infamous and mystical as they claimed, the blood of dragons. Within your graciousness and tender heart, Cregan found himself wanting you, beyond all bounds of propriety, of decency.
Gray hues flickered over your visage, his appreciation of you not entirely subtle, as if he were screaming his praise through gaze alone. Firelight encapsulated your flesh, the glow surrounding you picturesque.
“I shall not waver in my duty as your husband, Princess — you can be sure of that,” Cregan uttered, able to feel the brief brush of your body against his own, a tantalizing thing. It was swift, fleeting; yet it incited the deepest of yearning. “I will remain here, by your side.”
Princess; as the simple title spilled from his lips, warped with his Northern timbre, you felt a peculiar heat wash over your insides. It was untoward of you to feel the tendrils of desire, especially before being wed. You felt like some craven, thinking this way.
It was his moral compass and staunch sense of duty that had enticed you, the way in which he carried himself with an effortless strength. For a man as young as he, one-and-twenty, his wisdom seemed to stretch on for several moons his senior.
The heaviness of sleep had not yet found you, still rather alert as you remained by his side, hues occasionally stealing glances at his musculature. Absentmindedly, your fingers kneaded into the bearskin, something idle to relieve the spark of tension.
“I should hope that I grow accustomed to this chill, with time,” A flicker of amusement danced within your tone, a shiver gripping your body as you shrank into the furs. “I fear that I am not as resilient to this insufferable snow as I thought.”
A short chuckle escaped Cregan, the sound brief; yet it warmed you more than any simmering flame. An unassuming smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, dissipating as soon as it had appeared. “You will become tolerant with time, princess. I shall see about getting you warmer hides.”
Unable to suppress your smile, a burst of ebullient laughter peeled from your lips, like the chime of bells to the Northern lord’s ears. “You have my gratitude, my Lord. Thank you.”
“Cregan,” His insistence was disarmingly gentle, brows knitting together for only a moment. “We do not have to continue to uphold such formalities.” It seemed to dissolve whatever awkward barrier had rested between you; betrothals were never easy.
“Cregan,” As you repeated his name, he savored the way it rolled from your tongue, wrapped in inklings of a growing fondness. He was practical, a man of the present, but he could imagine himself enjoying his union with you. “It is only right if you do the same.”
The bulk of his musculature softly rattled with a brief huff. “Of course, princess.” He mused, tone betraying the hint of amusement that flickered across his features. The hour had grown exceedingly late, and yet, he did not feel the sting of exhaustion.
Such an innocuous remark had effectively stoked a fire within you, tendrils of a starving flame coiling around your insides. Gooseflesh cascaded along your spine, bringing with it a dull ache. A sliver of your being wanted to stay with Cregan, but it was entirely untoward.
In the spirit of transparency, Cregan shared your unspoken sentiment. To lay with one’s betrothed was not inherently a sin; the gnaw of desire grew within, and he feared what it might twist into.
“I wish to stay here this eve, if you are agreeable,” The suddenness of your inquiry had ensnared his attention, bewildering him to no end. He hadn’t expected you to want to stay — let alone share his bed. “I understand how it might seem …”
“I would not condemn you to further suffer in the cold, my Lady.” Cregan’s reply had made your bones lurch, heart fluttering within your breast like the beating of dragon’s wings.
A gale of fire churned ceaselessly within the pit of your stomach, a sensation not often quelled. You had let it burn, as a stark reminder of the sensations he brought to you. As you mulled over his response, the wolfish lord quietly gestured toward the sprawling bed behind you.
Layered in an endless ocean of hides, from bearskin to that of stags, your feet fell atop the cold stone, feather-light as you made your way into the sanctuary of his mattress. It was fit for a man of his bulk, you’d realized, with plenty of room to spare.
Even the mere presence of a companion had brought a sense of ease to your startled nerves, basking beneath the furs and blankets. As warmth settled into your bones, Cregan joined you, keeping a comfortable distance within his own space.
Sprawled upon your back, you cast your restless gaze to the ceiling — an unremarkable labyrinth of ancient stone. To your right, his musculature lay wedged beneath the furs, an arm tucked beneath his head, a gap of silence present.
“You will be an excellent husband,” The genuine conviction within your tone was enough to cause his head to turn, storm-laden hues finding your pleasant profile. “I no longer fear this union as I once had, and I have you to thank for it.”
Cregan steeled himself, honor hanging by a mere thread; you, curled up within his bed, speaking of him in ways that he had not dreamed of. “Your words are both honorable and humbling, princess. I should hope to protect you, and keep you happy.”
Gods, his voice; a timbre akin to the rolling of thunder, harboring a thinly-veiled gentleness that you so desperately craved. No man compared to him, and it made you want him more, and such a notion was strong already.
Despite the berth of distance residing between bodies, he felt closer than ever, within arm’s reach of touching you. A smile found its way onto your face, as warm as a midsummer’s eve, gaze glittering with a peculiar tenderness.
Whatever ghastly chill had once assailed your bones had been quelled by Cregan’s warmth, a fondness displayed through stare alone. Gray hues traced the contours of your visage, toward the plane of your collarbone, slipping beneath fabric.
Huddling beneath the furs, you rolled over, curled up on your side as your gaze found Cregan’s own with a wordless gratitude. A tension began to brew, the first inklings of a pleasant storm that you had no desire to flee from.
A shiver gripped your spine, claws of a gnawing ice momentarily raking themselves across your flesh. With time, you hoped that you would become accustomed to the Northern climate — it was brutal and unforgiving enough as it stood.
“Still cold, princess?” Cregan felt a twinge of sympathy for you, this hotblooded maiden, brought to heel by the wrath of a snowstorm. He felt the desire to safeguard you, shield you from harm, a deluge included.
A fib nearly tumbled from your lips, and you silenced yourself before it could blossom to fruition. Fingers flexed into the furs, seeking relief; you longed to find your relief in him. “Terribly,” Sinking further into the mattress, you happened to smile. “You might not have a wife when this is over.”
In a futile attempt at lightheartedness, Cregan did not see it that way, growing concerned at the incessant chattering of your teeth, the rise of gooseflesh permeating your skin.
Wordlessly, the young wolf gestured to the space at his side, inviting you to take refuge against the biting chill, if you so desired. He did not seem perturbed, but the doe-like glint within your gaze screamed otherwise.
“You do not …” The shrewd cadence of your tone seemed to ooze with embarrassment, a peculiar heat clinging to your visage. Smitten, you watched as Cregan grunted, head bobbing in a brief shake as he coaxed you closer.
“I would prefer it if you did not wither away.” Such a gentle baritone had struck a match within you, turning your insides to molten liquid. With bated breath, you sluggishly crawled towards him, fingers sheepishly hovering above his abdomen.
Cregan’s thick arm encircled you, as innocuous as he could possibly be, ensuring that he did not cause you any discomfort. Nevertheless, he reveled in the sensation of your body pressing against him, kissed by winter’s chill.
Heat bled from his flesh as if he were his own flame, radiating with bodily warmth as he let you seek such respite. The cold plane of your cheek nestled atop his collarbone, the saccharine scent of you wafting from your downy crown.
Many might’ve considered such behavior scandalous, improper, considering that the two of you had not yet wed. For Cregan, he cared little for labels of impropriety or deviance, preferring to put your own wellbeing above any damning accusations.
The erratic beating of your heart nearly leapt into your throat, fingertips absentmindedly dancing across the impressive bulk of his chest. His stature was immense when placed beside you, and yet you remained captivated by it, soaking in any droplet of warmth that he provided.
It was agonizing, being so close; you wanted to curse restraint, damn dignity, beseech your future husband for a kiss. His jaw tensed when you began to stir, writhing against him in an involuntary attempt to become comfortable.
A sharp inhale punctured his lungs, restraint so threadbare that it nearly ripped into two, hand accidentally brushing across your backside. It wasn’t intentional, but your incessant squirming had made this increasingly difficult.
A familiar stirring roused within his trousers, cock twitching as the curve of your breasts happened to ghost beside his ribcage. Cregan wanted to grab you, force you to remain still, if such a thing were even possible.
“You must stop moving.” Through gritted teeth, his warning was sternly spoken, but not one of anger. As his words assailed your senses, you immediately ceased, breath hitching as his hand firmly pressed against your hips.
Before you could sputter some bewildered apology, your gaze sheepishly flickered toward him, his countenance one of thinly-veiled frustration. This frustration was of a different sort, as if he were holding some unseen weight upon his shoulders.
Realization hit with a sudden force as you swallowed the growing lump within your throat. Cregan’s stare met yours, and you seemed to reach some unspoken understanding as to why your constant moving had vexed him.
Impulsivity gripped you then, prompting you to careen forward, soft lips pressing themselves to his. A ripple of startlement consumed Cregan, who did not act until your palm had settled atop his muscled abdomen. He reciprocated your kiss, pulling away with perplexity.
“I am sorry,” Through a hasty, rushed apology, you felt shameful, cursing yourself for behaving in such an uncouth manner. However, to your surprise, Cregan did not appear offended in the slightest. “I … We are not yet wed.”
Wedlock had little to do with this brewing desire, one that he was aching to act upon. Arbitrary rules often dictated that pleasure without the bonds of marriage was some unsightly sin — it couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Cregan wanted you; he did not desire your titles, position, or your dragon — it was your heart he sought, something worth coveting, worth cherishing. Whatever pact was struck to ensure your marriage, he became grateful for it.
“I would not dare discomfort you, princess,” A shudder rolled throughout your body, able to feel his palm knead into your waist. “You have my word.” A ripple of understanding found you, then. A sliver of your being knew that it might’ve been wrong, but you found yourself dismissing the notion.
With a nod, you happened to shift closer, noticing the way in which he’d begun to angle himself towards you. “I wish for your warmth.” The lingering, lascivious implication hung heavy within your words, enough for Cregan to urge you closer.
Flush against him, he quieted, steely glower piercing through you like the tip of an arrow, hand continuing to caress along your spine. Somewhat shy, you elected to sever your tangle of nerves, lips seeking his once more.
Cregan’s mouth crawled against yours, disarmingly gentle, intended to savor you instead of rushing headfirst into the fire. He smelled of leather and the woodlands, carrying a rustic scent upon his flesh, brow creased in concentration.
Sluggishly, your body shifted against him once more, feeling the muscle of his thigh press between your thighs. The sudden intrusion made you gasp, lips torn asunder as he broke your kiss, caging you against the hot expanse of his chest.
“Is that what you wish for?” Cregan’s low utterance made your stomach erupt with butterflies, able to feel the tantalizing shift of his thigh, allowing you to rock yourself into him.
Inexperience was scrawled into your features, confidence effectively extinguished then and there. It was your brazenness that had catapulted all of this into motion, and now, you were strangled by your own lack of knowledge.
“Yes, I — I’ve never …” As you attempted to vocalize your lack of physicality, Cregan soothed you with a kiss to your brow. “I do not wish to fully consummate — not yet.” With a strong sense of understanding, your betrothed nodded, digits idly caressing along your side.
“Then we are in agreement.” A sense of comfort flooded through you then, knowing that Cregan did not wish to cross such a boundary on this night. However, he had a plethora of fantasies to supplement your shared desires.
Bridging the gap between you once more, lips sealed themselves together, his palm moving to cup your jaw. It was inherently tender, the purpose of it ensuring your comfort with such acts, thigh continuing to teasingly brush against your core.
A gnawing ache continues to eat away at you, manifesting as arousal that begins to coalesce between your legs. As if acting upon instinct, you continue to grind yourself into his thigh, a soft moan catching within your throat.
Cregan’s palm begins to drift lower, from the plush curve of your waist to your backside, gingerly kneading into the pliant flesh. He is cautious, painstakingly gentle as he lavishes kiss after kiss to your wanting lips.
There is little space between you, replaced with a heated friction that seeps into your bones. No longer tormented by the plague of the Northern chill, your betrothed is eager to take the cold away. His chest bumps into yours, peaks of your breasts snug against the plane of muscle.
Crackling firelight paints the room in a feverish glow, embers beginning to wane like that of a fading sun. It is in your kiss that he finds a semblance of peace, hunger continuing to grow until it becomes some ravenous bite.
A soft gasp inhabits your lungs, sharp like the prick of a knife as you grind against his thigh once more, feeling it brush over a particular spot. Pleasure rippled through you, a foreign sensation that leaves you raw, yearning for more.
The ruffled collar of your shift begins to slip, sagging above your bosom, soft flesh unraveled to the ogling gaze of your betrothed. Mouths ceaselessly collide, wet and fervent, prompting you to reach for his bicep in order to anchor yourself.
Entangled beneath the furs, whatever bitter chill that once grasped your bones had dissipated entirely. Wandering fingers found their way to the nape of his neck, tangling around the chestnut tresses there. Each kiss made you feel delirious, dizzy with a wanton desire.
It was then that Cregan’s large hand smoothed across your body, from the dainty curve of your jaw to your stomach, and then up once more. The sluggish drag of his caress made you shiver, hips continuing to rock against his muscled thigh.
Calloused digits find the ties of your evening shift, his grip like that of hardened steel, not daring to unravel you, not yet. With another bruising kiss, you feel him withdraw, gray hues roving across your visage, drinking you in; enamored.
Wisps of hot, labored sighs drift between the both of you, wrought with exhilaration. Slowly, Cregan’s hand wanders, gathering against your thigh, bunched into the silk. “I wish to see more of you, princess.” He rumbled, brows furrowing together.
Fingertips trace along the nape of his neck, caressing along sinewy muscle. His throat bobs momentarily, a fleeting gesture; a needy hum tears past your lips as you nod. “Please.” It is all you can manage, words turning to ash upon your tongue.
Admittedly, he cared little for himself, staunchly devoted to your own pleasure and exploration, storm-laden gaze tinged with tenderness. The hand that had so fiercely grasped at the ties of your shift gives the silk a brief pull, loosening the fabrics altogether.
Beneath his incendiary stare, your heart begins to race, slamming beneath your breast as he gingerly tugs the collar downward. There is an indiscernible devotion within his eyes, a certain protectiveness that puts you at-ease.
Warm, roughened digits gingerly pry at your garment, easing the ruffled silks along your chest, unveiling the soft peaks of your breasts to him. A low grunt of approval stirred within his throat, reveling in the sensation of your lips against his jaw.
Everything about him exuded strength, an honorable stoicism that oozed from every pore. Without pause, you continued to plant kisses against his throat, body seizing with a punctuated gasp as he cupped your breast.
Flicking the pad of his thumb over your nipple, Cregan watched as your countenance contorted into an expression of bliss, lips beginning to part. He was disarmingly tender, kneading at the soft, pliant flesh of your chest, lips pressing against your cheek.
Any sliver of distance that had existed before had been squashed, forms molded to one another, hips begging for a scrap of friction. As you urged yourself against him, you felt the growing tent within Cregan’s trousers, feeling a tendril of warmth slither across your body.
Rough lips pressed a passionate trail of kisses along your neck, nose inhaling lungfuls of your saccharine scent. A pleading moan slipped past your lips, careening into the embrace of his hand.
“Cregan,” With a breathy sigh, your back arched slightly, as if strings tethered you to him, pulling you forward. His mouth hungrily explored your throat, traveling toward the silky plane of your collarbone. “Do not stop.” You whined.
It was all the encouragement he truly needed, bolstered by the tranquil hum of your voice. Lower, and lower still; until his mouth sank between your breasts, still kneading at one, thumb circling your nipple. Your body responded with a visceral glee, continuing to grind against him.
Beyond the archaic stone of Winterfell, the blizzard raged on with its howling gales — and yet, you had never been warmer.
Continuing to palm at your breast, Cregan’s mouth began to lavish the unattended peak in a myriad of kisses, worshiping you in the way that you rightfully deserved. A string of whines left you, gown-clad core brushing over his pelvis once more.
Taking one nipple into his maw, he kissed and sucked at the sensitive bud, a low grunt reverberating throughout his chest. His hips softly collided with yours, the friction driving him to the brink of madness.
Each kiss sent dizzying waves of bliss throughout your body, wisps of air stolen from your lungs as you clung to him, legs parted by the bulk of his thigh. Your shift had hitched higher, gathered towards your knees.
Gently rolling your hardened peak betwixt his fingers, Cregan did not relent, lavishing your breasts in kisses. In the midst of his alternation, his unoccupied hand graced your haunch, caressing into your backside, toying with the hem of your nightgown.
His burly musculature nearly swallowed you whole, wafting with a warmth that you had grown addicted to, longing for his heat as you would gusts of crisp air. Delicate fingertips idly traced along his broad shoulders, hips brushing against his own.
Calloused pads began to drift beneath your shift, crawling along your leg, akin to leather ghosting against velvet. Cregan suckled at your breast, assailing your sweet flesh in a barrage of kisses. Throaty moans signaled your approval of his actions.
Caressing along your inner thigh, his thumb drew circles into the supple skin there, lingering dangerously close to your aching core. Looming above you, his mouth pressed a gentle trail toward your throat, leaving a searing fire in his wake.
Seeking the coalescing warmth between your legs, you nearly choked upon a strangled gasp as Cregan’s digits ghosted along your petals. Arousal had gathered there, akin to the sticky sweetness of honey, prompting you to shiver beneath him.
Gray hues sought yours, boring into you with a burning intensity, enough to elicit a wave of gooseflesh, one that crawled along your spine. He exuded immeasurable restraint, fixated upon your own pleasure, upon your comfort. Wordlessly, he pushed deeper still, fingers pressing into your core.
A sharp exhale pierced your lungs, ripping through your diaphragm as you gripped his bicep, nails leaving behind crimson crescents. Cregan remained unperturbed, concentrating on his new charge, digits dragging in a sluggish rhythm.
Bliss unfurled from your features, a pleasure that blossomed throughout as your hips jolted forward of their own accord. “Cregan.” A breathy whine escaped you, lips clamoring for him once more. The kiss was intimate, a flurry of devotion and desire, now entangled.
“Easy, princess,” Cregan’s husky cadence had lulled you into subservience, able to feel his hot breath fan out across your skin. “Slowly.” He uttered, mouth returning to yours with a thinly-veiled rapture.
It became difficult to stifle your movements, kiss-swollen lips delighted to find him again. Each kiss was accompanied by a swipe of his digits, exploring your nethers with an obvious gentleness.
Between fervent exchanges, his gaze never once strayed from you, steely hues drinking in the weight of pleasure that permeated your visage. Beginning to increase his pace, he stroked along your aching cunt, thumb finding your pearl.
Tracing around the sensitive bud in slow, tantalizing circles, you could do little to smother your moans, hips occasionally lurching forward. The friction that festered between you was intoxicating, something that Cregan found himself savoring.
His lips returned to the hollow of your shoulder, the velvety dip between that and your throat. A string of kisses manifested there, digits continuing to caress over your slit. This rhythm was agonizing, your body screaming with ecstasy.
Chestnut tresses brushed against your neck as he began to suck at your supple flesh, enough to create a mark that would flourish with time. “Lay with your back to me.” Cregan rumbled, watching the flicker of excitement crawl across your features.
In silent subservience, you obeyed, slowly rolling over until your back was nestled snugly against the hot expanse of his chest. He was all indomitable muscle and oozing with strength, the swell of his cock grinding into your backside.
Thick digits returned to you, burly arm looped over your front, taut with impressive muscle. They became fervent in their ministrations, a finger beginning to trace over your entrance.
Caged against him, you used his bicep as leverage, digging into his rugged flesh as he kissed across your shoulder. “Gods, you are perfect.” As the husked roll of his voice echoed within your ear, you moaned, feeling his thumb continue to play with your clit.
Cregan’s other arm had looped beneath you, caressing your collarbone as he gently eased one digit inside of you, the sensation foreign yet exhilarating. It was unexpected, and yet you craved all of it, as much as he was willing to provide.
You squirmed, cunt aching for him in every way imaginable, hips jolting into the sensation of his practiced digits. As his thumb toyed with your pearl, he eased a finger in and out of you at a rhythmic pace, allowing you to grow accustomed to it.
Kisses lavished your soft flesh, seemingly endless, and you felt your bones scream for release. He touched you with such fervent passion, mouth clamoring for yours, lips unable to tear themselves away.
Despite the awkward angle of your head, you reciprocated his kiss as best as you could, needy moans swallowed by his maw. It was then that a second finger accompanied the first, sluggishly stretching you in a way that you didn’t think possible.
He was gentle yet vigorous, digits deliberately rocking themselves in and out of your tight cunt, thumb providing a burst of stimulation against your clit. Your warm, sweet breath fanned over him, mouth agape as a series of excitable pants escaped you.
Arousal clung to your flesh, the intensity of it only magnified, body assailed by sensations on all sides. As Cregan’s fingers pumped themselves in and out of your nethers, you felt your cunt clench pathetically around him.
“Cregan, I — I’m close,” A wanton huff tumbled from your lips, emerging as a moan against his mouth. He kissed you fervently, mouth wandering in the column of your throat, lavishing you in another barrage of kisses. “There.”
A furnace raged within you, a chasm of yearning soon to be quelled, tempered. Heat lapped at your flesh, burning with a smoldering temperature as desire washed over you. His dexterous fingers continued to circle around your pearl, causing you to stifle a moan.
Between the constant assault of lips, teeth, and fingers, you are barely able to register the white-hot rush of your pinnacle, writhing into Cregan’s hand. Thick digits stretch you still, rocking in and out of your snug cunt at a rhythmic pace.
It nearly blinds you, choking upon the cry that turns to ash within your throat. The visceral response of your body is one that Cregan longs to become intimately acquainted with, feeling you pulse around him as you reach your peak.
“That’s it, princess. I have you.” Soothing utterances slip beside your ear, bridge of his nose nuzzling your cheek, heat oozing from him like that of an open hearth. Caressing your stomach with one hand, the other works you through your release.
Through the tepid haze of your release, you begin to find your composure, sinking into his grasp as his hand begins to slow. Thighs tremble in the wake of such ecstasy, and you begin to turn back into Cregan, lips seizing his own in a soft kiss.
Unable to refuse you, the wolf indulges, reciprocating your kiss with such blistering passion that it nearly elicits a moan from you.
As you withdraw, flesh still stinging with an intense heat, you move enough to adjust your shift back into place, peering at him through your lashes. Before your palm can tend to the growing tent within his trousers, he stops you.
“Another night,” Cregan rumbled, moving to lay upon his back, allowing you to curl next to him, his arm finding its purchase around your hips. The other sprawls outward, allowing you to soak everything in. “Are you well?”
“I am,” Sitting up enough to perch your chin atop his chest, your palms draw delicate circles against his abdomen. He nearly smiles, grabbing one of them with a furrowed brow — your flesh is still cold. “Thank you, Cregan.”
A brief huff escaped him, warm palm caressing your own, attempting to provide some relief. “If you are agreeable, I would prefer it if you stay.” Cregan thoroughly enjoyed your presence, more than he ever thought he would.
A tender smile spread across your visage, a soft expression that beguiled him so, roused feelings of devotion from within. Even he seemed to blush, countenance muddied with a scarlet pallor as he caressed along your spine.
“I wish to stay, but what if something is said …” The last thing that you wanted was to besmirch the honor of an already honorable man. A twinge of amusement swirled within his gray hues, and he seemed dismissive of your worries.
“Let them gossip, princess,” Cregan reassured you, one brow quirking just enough to ensnare your attention. “After all, you are here to warm yourself.” His jest made you unbelievably flustered, and yet, he only coaxed you closer, tugging the furs around your bodies.
Heat persists where the chill does not, gone entirely; he is your warmth, and you willingly chase after him.
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jeongiegram · 4 months ago
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You can disagree with me, but I fucking hate what hotd did to Aegon as a character and how fandom (and his fans too) treats him.
The show has not only made him a comedic figure, but it has also made fun of him (every time they had the chance), humiliating and diminishing him as a secondary character. It's only due to TGC's performance that Aegon has been saved to some extent.
At this point I don't agree with most people on how they view him. Even his own fans by making him pathetic, stupid, good for nothing, just a pretty face little mew mew. He can be that sometimes for fun, but no. You miss the whole point of Aegon's character if that's how you view him.
When I think of Aegon, strength is the first word that comes to mind. Internal strength to overcome everything of what happened to him. To stand up, to accept his fate, to do whatever is needed: marry his sister, take the throne, fight for the throne and take revenge. Many others would gave up, run away or die in his place, but he didn't.
Aegon didn't want any of this, but he accepted it out of a sense of duty. Despite not being perfectly suited for the role, he takes responsibility and listens to those who are more knowledgeable. He wants to end the war swiftly, desires to be loved and make an impact as a ruler.
And let's not forget that he surges to every battle without fearing for his life (it might not be the best decision for a monarch), but it's also admirable.
He loves his family. And trusts them completely.
Aegon is not a fool to laugh at or someone who simply craves violence. He is a complex character (I know people like to laught at that for some reason) and, instead of constantly fighting for sides on who's more right or wrong, or "who's pretty/who's not", I wish fans would rather analyze and understand the nuances of his character and what he could have become with better writing.
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jeongiegram · 5 months ago
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hate that the take away from Gwayne saying that Daeron is kind was that it was Alicents fault Aegon and Aemond turned out “bad”… the reason Daeron is normal is because he was raised in Oldtown with normal people away from his toxic Targaryen family. like no shit if Aegon and Aemond were raised there they’d be more well adjusted because they wouldn’t be around their neglectful father and their family who hates them. Alicent isn’t mother of the year but it’s getting old how people blame her when the problem was mostly the environment, if Alicent lived in Oldtown with her family that loved and valued her and not her abusive and neglectful husband and her stepdaughter/ex best friend who hates her than she would’ve been much better equipped to raise 4 children but she did what she could in the situation she was forced into.
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jeongiegram · 5 months ago
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"jaime only likes brienne cause he can live vicariously thru her/she reminds him of himself" bold of u to assume that 1) jaime possesses such a heightened sense of self awareness and 2) that he likes himself that much
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jeongiegram · 5 months ago
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You can disagree with me, but I fucking hate what hotd did to Aegon as a character and how fandom (and his fans too) treats him.
The show has not only made him a comedic figure, but it has also made fun of him (every time they had the chance), humiliating and diminishing him as a secondary character. It's only due to TGC's performance that Aegon has been saved to some extent.
At this point I don't agree with most people on how they view him. Even his own fans by making him pathetic, stupid, good for nothing, just a pretty face little mew mew. He can be that sometimes for fun, but no. You miss the whole point of Aegon's character if that's how you view him.
When I think of Aegon, strength is the first word that comes to mind. Internal strength to overcome everything of what happened to him. To stand up, to accept his fate, to do whatever is needed: marry his sister, take the throne, fight for the throne and take revenge. Many others would gave up, run away or die in his place, but he didn't.
Aegon didn't want any of this, but he accepted it out of a sense of duty. Despite not being perfectly suited for the role, he takes responsibility and listens to those who are more knowledgeable. He wants to end the war swiftly, desires to be loved and make an impact as a ruler.
And let's not forget that he surges to every battle without fearing for his life (it might not be the best decision for a monarch), but it's also admirable.
He loves his family. And trusts them completely.
Aegon is not a fool to laugh at or someone who simply craves violence. He is a complex character (I know people like to laught at that for some reason) and, instead of constantly fighting for sides on who's more right or wrong, or "who's pretty/who's not", I wish fans would rather analyze and understand the nuances of his character and what he could have become with better writing.
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