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[jessbcoaching]

======= SUMMARY ======= 

Taking control of your emotions is one of the practices that will serve you in a number of different situations. There will be plenty of times when we begin to feel a negative emotion and you can’t necessarily control that emotion presenting itself, but you can control how you react to it with these four easy steps: 

 1. AWARENESS: Label the emotion to give it clarity. Doing this will allow you to feel more certain about what you are feeling. 

 2. DISCOVER THE WHY: Discover why you are feeling that specific emotion. What is going on around you? What triggered the emotion? Was it something someone said, did, or something you saw?

 3. TAKE BACK CONTROL: What can you do to take back control? In this situation, what is going on that you have control over. What are you thinking about this situation that is triggering the emotion? 

 4. HOW DO YOU WANT TO REACT?: Who do you want to be in this situation? Think about your old patterns and how you would normally react and ask yourself how you want to react instead? How would your higher self handle this situation? 

 ====== FOLLOW ME ====== 

IG: http://Instagram.com/jessboninicoaching 

FB: http://facebook.com/jessboninicoaching 

 ====== ABOUT JESS ====== 

Jess Bonini is a Mindset and Empowerment Coach that helps people to maximize their mindset in order to live fulfilled, thriving, empowered lives. She believes everyone has all the resources they need in order to live the life they want, all they have to do is decide that it is theirs.

[jessbcoaching]

If you have been thinking about starting your own journey into personal development, you have come to the right video! I'm sharing 5 easy steps to get you started, that's right, just 5 steps! 

1. Identify What You Want

2. Discover Your Why

3. What Are Your Obstacles?

4. Are You Aligned with What You Want?

5. Get the Tools & Coaching You Need (a.k.a. taking some messy, inspired action!)

 ====== BOOKS ====== 

 "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom"- Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/four... 

 "You Are A Badass"- Jen Sincero https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/you-...

"Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead"- Brené Brown https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/risi...

"Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power"- Brendon Burchard https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-...

====== ABOUT JESS ====== 

 Jess Bonini is a Mindset and Empowerment Coach that helps people to maximize their mindset in order to live fulfilled, thriving, empowered lives. She believes that everyone has all the resources they need in order to live the life they want, all they have to do is decide that it is theirs.

======FULL TRANSCRIPT======

What is up everyone, it's Jess. I'm so excited to be here. Today I want to talk to you about personal development. For multiple reasons.

Right now, during everything that's going on in the world, personal development is so, so important! It's how we are going to get through this and stay sane! This is what we need to take our lives to the next level! Right?

But personal development can also be really scary. It can be a scary place to enter because for a lot of people it's unknown. And personal development, there's so much online about what it is and where we're going and what questions to ask yourself and the 10 things to list down.

 It is so much easier than that! It is so much easier than that. But I will warn you, it is also a challenge. It's also going to challenge you and help you grow.

And it's going to help you move to that next level of your life. Because everybody wants that right?

I remember when I was first leaving my career and I was a paramedic for 10 years, 10 years. Five, I was a basic level and then the other five, I was at an advanced level and I thought I was in the career of my dreams until one day I was like..."is this it?" Like, "is this what my life is?" 

I'm going to work, I'm going to get this job, my paycheck, I"m pretty stable...but I wasn't actually happy and I realized that once I left, I had no idea who I was. I had no idea what I actually wanted until I went on to my own personal development journey. Now I know who I am, I know my purpose here on this earth, I know what I want in my life, and I think that is so important for everyone to find out.

And so today in this video I really just want to share five easy steps with you on how to begin your personal development journey. Because it's not something that you have to do alone and there are so many resources now, so many resources you can access at the tip of your fingers with Google.

Drum roll please...I don't have a table otherwise I would drum roll for you.

So, okay, first…

Step #1: Identify What you Want This is so, so important to identify what you want. We're so good at as a society of saying what we don't want. We're so good at saying everything that's missing, but what do we want?

 What do you want in your life?

 What is one thing that if you had in your life right now, it would change your life forever? 

Forever...identify it. What do you want? And if you don't know exactly what you want and you're like “I know what I don't want, Jess, I know that I don't want to have a cap on my income” or “I don't really like my job, I don't want to work there for that much longer, but I really want to do this other thing.”

 That's how you ask yourself. Ask yourself ok, you say 

“I don't want to have a cap on my income”

 Ask yourself: “what do I want instead?”

 Do you want financial stability? Do you want financial abundance? What is it that you want instead? Maybe if you're watching this and you're wanting a relationship in your life. Maybe you haven't found that, that person. You haven't found your person yet and you know all the things of your exes that you don't like, right? You know those things. the things that you could just...leave behind. But what you do you want instead? What do you want in your partner? And when you're thinking about what you want, I want you to FEEL it. I want you to feel how it feels to have those things. I want you to just really make it so real in your mind that you already feel like you have it. Because you can.

Step #2: Discover Your Why And I'm sorry I had to check the card because I didn't know if I had the right one.

 Identify and discover your why. This is the bigger picture right? So now you know what you want, you identified what you want in step one and in step two, why?

Why do you want that? What will it do for you? What will it do for your life? What will it do for the people that are in your life? What will it do for them if you reach this? If you get what you want in your life, what will it do for the people around you? That's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

I remember when I first found out what I want and I knew that I wanted to help people with their mindset and help them live an empowered life and just take it! Just take whatever they wanted and know that it could be theirs. I remember when I finally found that out, everything changed for me because once you figure out what you want and then you identify how it will change your life and why you want it, you will stop at nothing to get it. 

Your motivation will change. Your demeanor will change, you'll start acting towards what you want, you'll start acting in a way that can get you there. And it's really exciting! It's so exciting! But I'm not going to lie, it can be hard. It can also be hard.

But the more you discover your why and the more important your why is, the more you will be willing to go towards what you want. The more you will be willing to endure all the discomfort and the uncertainty that comes along with growth. Because that's where all growth happens is in that uncertain, scary place outside of our comfort zone right? Life begins outside of your comfort zone. That quote… everybody knows it. It is so so true.

Step 1: Identify What You Want. 

Step 2: Discover Your Why.

Step 3: Ask Yourself What Are My Obstacles What are your obstacles? What is in front of you? What do you feel is stopping you from getting what it is that you want? What is it?

And most of the time we'll come up with things like “well, I don't really have enough time” Or “I don't have enough money”, or “I don't have the right people in my life.” But I want you to ask what your obstacles are that are coming from you.

And there's a big reason for this. The reason that I want you to think about it more about is it coming from me? Is because you can control that. So the struggles that you identify where you're blaming and you're putting the reason outside of yourself, what can we do about that? What can you change about something that isn't your fault? Or is not your problem? It's not your doing, it's happening to you. That doesn't feel very empowering does it?

So I want you to think about it when you're asking yourself this question what are my obstacles? I want you to think about it in a way that is empowering to you. Say, ok, well, for example, when I wanted to start my own coaching business, I thought to myself, ok what are my obstacle? And my obstacle was, I had no idea how to run a business! I had no idea what to do for marketing, I had no idea how to even put together a coaching package, I had no idea how to coach people. And so what I did, was I got the tools and resources I needed to do the things I wanted. Because once you identify what you want, discover your why behind it, and then find out what your obstacles are, you have all you need to take you to the next step. It's like gaining that clarity. The clarity is what helps you move forward. And it's really, really amazing. So once you have identified what you want, you discover your why, and you asked yourself what your obstacles are, then I want you to ask this question.

Step #4: Are You Aligned with What You Want? And when I'm talking about aligned, when I talk about being aligned with what you want, I mean is it good for you? Is it good for your life? Is it good for what you want? Is what you want, is what you identified that what you want is it good for your life? Is it ecological for you? And for the people around you?

So what I love to do for this question is I like to ask myself, is it good for me? And is it good for others? And what will I, I always ask myself, what I will lose, what I will gain...just to get a really, really clear picture and that helps me really realize like, “ok this is great, this is what I really want”.  And sometimes, I've thought that I wanted something and then I thought about my alignment with it and if at any point your like…’''ehhhhh", like your intuition just goes "I don't...I don't know" …it should be a 100% congruent, “Yes! This is what I want!” No hesitation. 

Once you find hesitation, sometimes that can be a fear coming up for you and that's ok, identify it and then you move forward, but really make sure you're aligned with what you're doing because aligned action will take us so much further than when we're not. Because if we're not aligned with what we are doing we are going to have inconsistent behavior and when we have inconsistent behavior, we have inconsistent results. So it doesn't actually get us what we want.

So after you have figured out all the things. You've identified what you want, you've discovered your why, you've asked yourself what you're obstacles are so now you know all of those and you asked yourself and you made sure you're aligned with what you want. Then it's time to do the #1 thing that gets you started on every single journey in your entire life, especially this one, and that my friends is 

TAKE ACTION. 

It is time for you to take action and

Step #5: Get the Tools & Coaching You Need Now, when I say tools that you need I'm talking, read books and I'll actually list my favorite books below that got me started so you guys can access those. Find mentors, find somebody that inspires you. Find somebody that you love listening to and just devour their content. Devour it.

Once you get all these tools, you'll start noticing that you're having small shifts and some people then take it a step further and then they hire a coach.

Now for me, that was my first step pretty much. I read a couple books and I was listening to Tony Robbins a little bit, um, but I had joined a FB group because I was in a really really low point in my life. I had just gone through a really bad breakup, somebody that I was truly in love with at the time and he said to me "You know, I really think that you need to take some time alone and you need to go find yourself. You need to find out who you are and what makes you happy" because at the time I was putting all my happiness outside of myself and so my, because of where I was I wanted immediate change.

And so I decided to hire a coach first thing. That was one of the first things I did. I mean I joined a couple FB groups, you know, I did that stuff, but I wanted to take action immediately and so I hired my coach and honestly coaching was one of the best experiences of my life. And um, I keep coaching. Now I have coaches all the time for everything because it's amazing anti helps you see something outside of yourself. It really, I have found from my own personal experiences with coaching and then my experiences with my own clients, it just helps kind of open up the thinking. and it helps you think of things that you wouldn't have thought of before. So that is a route that you can take as well.

Stepping into the arena of personal development can be really uncertain and that's great! Because as I always say in everything I do, uncertainty is where we grow. It's where you find out who you truly are. It's like Brené Brown says, it's like being in the arena and it is an arena! It's an arena of vulnerability. And vulnerability is so brave, it is so brave and so I acknowledge the fact that you're even considering going down this path. It means that you're ready for the next level of your life.

So if that is you and if you are ready to enter the next level of your life, now you have your first five steps. You have your first five steps and they're easy! They're easy steps. Just take some time. Give yourself some time to go through them and I always really like to tell people try to choose an area of your life.

So you could do this on just your own personal growth & development, you could do this on relationships, you could do it on family, career and business, spirituality, health and fitness, you can choose an area. I always like to make it more specific. If you just are like “I want my life to be better!” You know, that's great. Everybody wants their life to be better, but how? Identify how do you want your life to be better.

So the five steps to starting your personal development are:

1. Identify what you want 2. Discover your why 3. What are your obstacles? 4. Are you aligned with what you want? 5. Get tools & coaching you need (a.k.a take some messy, inspired action!)

Because that's where the magic happens is in taking action. So when you're done with this video, I urge you to take these five steps and take that action towards getting what you want.

I hope you guys really enjoyed this video I would really love to know what you thought about it, if you want to just leave that in the comments below. Also if you have any questions for me, just leave them down there. I go through all the comments that I ever receive, messages that I get, I answer all of them and I really just ya know, if you found this helpful and you know of someone that needs to hear it, could you just share it for me? Just share it because the more that we get this message out and the more people that start on this personal development journey, the more the world can change right? Because it only take one person. One person to start that ripple effect. 

And every day we make ourselves better, we make the world better.

So I hope you all really enjoyed this and I will see you in the next one!