jinnie-study

[jinnie-study]

it's snowing again.

[jinnie-study]

i got hobonichi dupes!! kinbor weekly a6 (pink) and kinbor daily a5 (black)

this week's spread at the beginning of the week vs after last night! it's messier than id like but i think that's the realistic part of having a planner that's used everyday.

as badly as i want a hobonichi from everything ive been seeing online, i couldn't justify the price in the event that i.... didnt actually use it. however the kinbor techos are almost the same setup and only cost $10-20 each rather than $40-80 😭 so if it goes well, then maybe i will allow myself to invest in a hobonichi next year. the weekly is for schedule/to-do/planning and the daily is for journaling and documenting my every day :]

i've been recovering from the brutal fall semester of MS2 😭 and now we're straight back into the new spring term. i have my STEP 1 date now April 7 !! and i'm panicking and nervous 😬 cuz the practice test yesterday was Brutal. now i'm not sure if taking it at the beginning of dedicated is worth it. 😭 i'm gonna do a social media detox/cleanse and delete most things off my phone until i take STEP. my u🌏 app is about to become my most used and my best friend. i will try to be more active for accountability's sake but if i cannot post on here, i shall use my friends to hold me accountable haha. that's all my updates for now. 🫡

[jinnie-study]

03.09.2023 | Happy Sunday! I gave myself the day off yesterday, so today is a ‘full-focus, get as much studying as possible done’ type of day!

[jinnie-study]

What better way to start the day then with some coffee, drawing and reading. ☕

[jinnie-study]

Draw badly. Write nonsensically. Embroider messily. Burn what you bake and cook. Get paint everywhere. Read half a book. Lose your mind for a bit. Plant things. Have faith in the process. Abandon 70 wood-carving projects. Get a kit and do some of it and never return to it. Get comfortable with sucking and losing motivation. Continue to create with reckless abandon.

[jinnie-study]

END: ACT 1 - BEGIN: INTERMISSION

i finished MS1. i'm now officially an MS2. the transition in between wasn't anything crazy eventful; it came like a wave of relief. i took my remediation exam for pathology/microbio and i passed it. it took so much out of me but i passed it and that's all that matters, truthfully. i didn't do incredibly but it's whatever.

i've been wanting to start some research projects so i'm probably going to dedicate some time to that in the next few weeks or so. i need to also edit my CV and update it with all of my things because it didn't feel like it, but i've been doing so so so much.

i want to get back into writing again but i'm not sure if i'm going to be able to yet. i feel the itch to write but it feels like i have nothing to write about lately. i think i'm a bit burnt out. i'm looking for ways to cope with that before i start back up school in june. this is my last major break for the next 3 years. i won't have much free time until 4th year/graduation, essentially. so i want to just exist. but it feels weird to do that.

i know i made a promise to post here more and then i proceeded to Not Do That. after failing path/micro i was in a constant state of panic and did nothing but study and sleep for the past 2 months through our neuro/psych block. then the 2 weeks of remediation was also a lot of self isolation and cramming. i'm planning to study during my break so that i can just have a little bit of a head start. but nothing crazy intense. maybe 2 hours a day or something.

i hope i can get back up to posting on here more. i have some images from my notes during remediation that i might post later this week. :3c

thank you for being here and following along as i die progress through med school.

[jinnie-study]

🌱 03.17.2024 Midterm exams start tomorrow. I'm very nervous. My reviewers for each subject are quite thick (back-to-back) and I don't know if I'll be able to review all of them ಥ‿ಥ

[jinnie-study]

Artist is: kiracyan.design ✨

[jinnie-study]

Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.

[jinnie-study]

2024.03.05 - march and all the things before it

one day, after everything is through, i'll turn around and still have you.

excuse my messy desk, it just felt like it added to the photos of where i'm at mentally.

first year of med school has been a whirlwind of amazing new things and also a bit of a disaster. here's a list of updates in no particular order of just everything that comes to mind since i started school:

i had my first course failure ever (like.... ever.) and it's taken a huge toll on my psyche. i have to remediate it in the summer and it sucks because i wanted to do other things and i have to just sit with this feeling of having failed something big time for the next two months until then.

before that, though, i got thru first semester for the most part unscathed. a few bumps and bruises but nothing crazy.

im a part of student government and had a major success in getting rid of a really awful lecture that people have been trying to get changed or removed for at least the last three years.

i got to visit my partner abroad for christmas! it was wonderful and i miss them so much. it makes it that much harder to be down here i think.

i have gone to the beach and stared at the ocean a few times and it helps but i don't do it often.

back in august, i had a major back injury that limited my mobility almost completely for two days. since then, it's been on and off pain for months and i finally started going to PT. hopefully we can make the pain go away because apparently it has already made my left leg decently weaker than my right leg 💀

my cat had a really bad cancer scare back in september and he's only now beginning to recover. i love him so much and we had come to terms with not putting him thru surgery to remove the tumor and just wanted to keep him comfortable and at home. my mom fed him holy water and he's managed to get better. ❤️‍🩹

i've forcing myself to get back into journaling and reading because i need hobbies that are off-screen and i'm limited from exercising until my back is a little better.

i bought noise-canceling headphones (pictured above) and they've changed my life tbh. i don't know how i managed before.

i didnt used to burn candles but now they help me turn my brain into focusing mode and it's changed my relationship with stress and studying.

i went on a random mini vacation with my family to nintendo world in february and i think i healed a part of me that i didn't know needed healing.

i think that's all the biggest updates i have to share. i've been documenting med school and life more often on my private twitter account but it feels more important to me to make sure i get it here in this blog. i want to be more consistent with posting here again! i might add it to my to-do lists when i update newsletters and socmed. but i also like this blog just being a space for me to be without a lot of pressure to keep up with it. idk. thank u for being here! for reading and for sticking with me 🫡 till next post

[jinnie-study]

[jinnie-study]

hey studyblr friends it's been like over a year oopsies. i got really busy ever since i took the MCAT! it's been nonstop life since then. i did get to go on vacation before starting med school! i didn't post an update when i got in but i did match into a school! i've been attending since july and it's been absolutely crazy but wonderful and i'm very happy. i'm the class secretary! and i'm working in some projects too. i'll start trying to post more frequently! im really excited to continue sharing this journey with y'all especially now that things have begun to settle! i have my last final for the fall semester and then a month of winter break :] gonna be flying out to visit my gf and spend christmas with their family.

i've been keeping a little tracker of school stuff on my personal twitter but i think, minus the photos of me, i,ll also add those here in increments! i want to keep all my memories together so i can flip thru them when i need to :>

[jinnie-study]

2022.09.12

hi friends it's been a lot of things these last few months. i've missed having time to breathe. i've missed being less lonely. school has been a lot. i'm wishing everyone the best!! i hope i'll be able to get back to regular posting and poetry soon. love yall!

[jinnie-study]

[jinnie-study]

On days you feel exhausted but frustrated because you feel like you haven't done anything to be this tired, think about these things:

How long since you've had a good nights sleep? No nightmares, no waking up multiple times, actually going to bed early, not having insomnia, actually waking up feeling rested and ready to face the day?

How long has it been since you ate a properly nutritious and wholesome meal?

How long since you've taken a break from work without thinking about all the work you will have to do later?

Are you currently fighting any illness? Remember your body takes energy to recover.

Are you really "doing nothing" if you are constantly overthinking the fact you feel unproductive, if you are constantly stressed with the things you do and don't do?

Have you had bad/none social interaction lately?

Are you in any physical or mental pain?

Are you taking care of everyone but yourself?

Does trying to live during a pandemic and world crisis brings you worry and stress?

Are you feeling anguish over all the burdens you have to carry but don't seem to be able to do everything you feel like you should be doing?

Are you constantly worried? Anxious?

It doesn't feel like you have been doing nothing now, does it? It feels like you have a lot going on that you have to deal with daily, even when you don't consciously notice it. There is a lot of stress inducing factors around you, and struggling is okay.

It is not easy to be human sometimes, so please, don't pressure yourself so much when you are already trying to cope. If it feels like everything is too heavy, please ask for help.

Please take care of yourself. 🌱

[jinnie-study]

Chrome extensions I actually use as a mentally ill university student

Making websites easier to digest:

Dark Reader - Changes any webpage to dark mode.

Mercury Reader - Simplifies the layout of any webpage to eliminate distractions and irritating formatting.

Podcastle AI - Turns any article into a podcast. This is a lifesaver for being able to process what I’m reading, to be honest.

Spelling/grammar:

LanguageTool - Spelling and grammar check for those of us who regularly type in more than one language.

Grammarly - Spelling and grammar check for those of us who only type in English. Can be used with LanguageTool installed, which is what I do.

Google Dictionary - Define any word on the webpage with a double-click.

Google Translate - Translate an entire webpage or even just a short segment.

Misc:

AdGuard Adblocker - After trying quite a few adblocker options, this is the one I find the best.

The Great Suspender - Automatically suspend inactive tabs to help with performance. <- as an edit, I don’t believe this is available anymore

Honey - Try coupon codes automatically to save money on online purchases.

Built-in Chrome tab grouping - Group your tabs to keep organized and minimize distracting clutter.

[jinnie-study]

2022.05.19

i wonder if healing is harder the second time around. full of knowing, this time, shouldn't i be wiser? can't i now stand up for myself? i feel sixteen and voiceless. i blink. i am nineteen and free. my eyes shut; i am twenty-one and frozen in time. your voice and arms wrap around me. we're here. you're here. i inhale a real lungful of air. i'm ready to go again.

i write these little journal blurbs in a flow of consciousness type way. usually something inspires me to write these words. lately, my biggest inspiration is just them... they make me feel like im growing and becoming more of a person everyday. :,>

ALSO 😱 I HAVE 16 DAYS UNTIL JUNE 4 AND I FEEL SO ILL PREPARED FOR THE MCAT 😭😭😭😭