jjoongsdiamond

[jjoongsdiamond]

In the Quiet of the Cafe☕️

Chapter Seven - The Weight of Maybe

(Present—Hana’s POV)

The rhythm of her days had always been steady.

Mornings with Areum. Coffee and crumbs. Wiping sticky fingers. Afternoons at the café. Laughter, music, and memories stacked behind the counter like unpaid tabs. Evenings of bath time, bedtime, lullabies sung in a voice that trembled more often than it didn’t.

It was a quiet, predictable life. And she’d fought hard for that peace.

But now, he was back — and everything trembled again.

Hongjoong had visited three times that week.

Once with a stuffed dinosaur. Once with a small ukelele he promised to teach Areum to play. And once with nothing at all — just his presence, and a question in his eyes every time he looked at Hana.

She knew what he was asking without words.

Is there still room in your life for me?

She didn’t have an answer.

Because she didn’t trust herself to say the wrong thing again.

Seeing Hongjoong in front of her after so many years of watching him on TV, or watching Ateez music videos, it brought back all the feelings she thought she had tucked far away.

The intensity of their relationship wasn’t simply a high school romance—if Hongjoong hadn’t had dreams that took him away from her, they’d probably have been end game.

But he did leave, and long distance was never an option, especially when he was part of the K-pop industry. There were contracts, NDAs, and too many secrets.

And Areum would have been involved in that; she would have been at risk—she still is.

But that didn’t stop Hana from crying, hidden away in the bathroom, when Hongjoong left that day—recalling their closeness, their bond back then. She missed it.

And she knew she needed to eventually tell Areum that Hongjoong was more than the “nice music man who was Hana’s friend”. He was her father, and she deserved to know.

---

She sat with Minseok that night on the roof of her apartment, long after Areum had been tucked into bed.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said, the words slipping out like water.

Minseok raised a brow. “You’re letting Areum know her father. That’s a pretty damn good start.”

She picked at a loose thread on her sleeve. “It’s more than that now.”

His eyes softened. “You still love him.”

She didn’t reply. She hadn’t admitted it out loud, but he was right. The moment she saw Hongjoong again all the feelings came flying back. She loved him again—she had never stopped.

“You never really stopped,” Minseok adding, confirming her thoughts. “You just buried it under everything else.”

“I had to,” Hana whispered. “I had to stop waiting for him. I had to raise her on my own. I had let go of the life we planned.”

Before Areum—before he left—she had planned to eventually join him in Seoul. The hope of one day maybe joining him in songwriting, a shared passion of theirs, once he had debuted, once everything had settled.

Minseok didn’t push. He never did.

“You think he wants it back?” she asked after a while. “That version of us?”

“I think he wants whatever version of you still exists, I think he feels exactly the same as you. The moment he saw you, the feelings come straight back to him too,” he said. “And I think he wants Areum to be part of his world—not just a secret he visits on Sundays.”

---

The next morning, Hana found herself at the piano in the back of the café.

It hadn’t been touched in years. Her grandmother’s old upright—slightly out of tune, but still warm beneath her fingers. The piano was something Hana’s grandfather would play to keep customers entertained, a young Hana would sit next to him, swaying to the music, in complete awe of the sound coming from a few keys.

Her grandfather had taught her how to play, and when he passed away, she stayed far away from the piano — the only thing connecting her to him.

But when Hongjoong had come into her life, she started playing again — with him next to her, writing music — together.

Areum was colouring at the corner table. Hongjoong was sitting opposite her, helping her sound out syllables on a picture card.

Hana watched them for a long time smiling before pressing down a key.

C. Then A. Then G.

Hongjoong looked up, startled. She hadn’t played in years — not in front of him.

But she held his gaze, hands still on the keys, as she played a piece they had written together when they both dreamed of music.

Hongjoong smiled softly, memories flooding back as he watched her play expertly. Areum clapped happily, instantly distracted from her colouring as she turned to watch her mother play.

And in that moment, when she finished the piece, Hana let the silence say what she couldn’t.

Maybe.

---

Later that night, as she tucked Areum into bed, her daughter whispered:

“Is the music man gonna stay?”

Hana’s voice caught in her throat. “Do you want him to?”

Areum nodded. “He makes the world feel… bigger.”

Hana leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Then we’ll make room.”

Hana went into her bedroom and picked up her phone, her finger hovering over his name as she bit her lip.

She had decided this may be the right time — Hongjoong was leaving soon.

When he answered, he sounded relaxed, but tired.

“Hey,”

“Hey,” she repeated. There was a moment of comfortable silence between them before either spoke up.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She hummed in affirmation, “Joong, I’m thinking of telling Areum.”

“Telling her what?”

She laid back against the headboard of her bed, trying to calm her thumping heart. “The truth. That you aren’t just my friend. That you are her father.”

Hana heard Hongjoong inhale, and shuffle on his end. “Really?”

She nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. This was big — whenever Areum asked about her father, Hana would tell her that he was working far away, and the child would never probe further. But it was obvious to Hana that she always wanted to meet her father — other kids at her school had their fathers, and she didn’t.

“I want her to know the real you, the you I know,” she admitted. “I want her to call you dad; I want you to feel the same as I do when she looks at me in adoration. You deserve it too.”

Hana didn’t need to see, the sound of his voice made evident he was smiling. “I would be so happy for her to call me dad. Thank you, Hana.”

“Please don’t thank me, you deserve this, Joong. I’m… so sorry.”

A moment passed, “for what?”

“For not telling you, for you finding out about your daughter by chance. I regret my choice to not tell you every day,” Hana swallowed the tears down, eyes stinging, years of emotion threatening to spill.

Hongjoong, as he always had done, responded calmly. Ever the peacekeeper, ever the rational person he was known to be. “You don’t need to apologise Hana; I can see in your eyes every time I see you how sorry you are. I’ve long forgiven you. But I’m here now, and so is Areum. I’m happy I get this now, and I’ve come to terms with that.”

She tried to contain the sob, but a stray tear fell.

“I’m sorry for not staying in contact. Life had been… hectic. Training and debuting were intense. I didn’t want to let you down, and I knew you’d worry if you heard me so dejected at times. It’s my dream, but I also left a part of that dream behind.” Hongjoong confessed, voice soft.

“Th-thank you,” Hana smiled sadly, “I’m so glad you accidentally walked into the café.”

He huffed a laugh, “habit, I suppose.”

“Well, I’m glad your habits are still there,” she giggled. “Joong, let’s tell her tomorrow—together.”

“As long as you are happy for me to be there.”

“A hundred percent positive.”

“Tomorrow it is then.”

Tomorrow, Hongjoong won’t be a friend anymore, he’ll finally be a father.

[jjoongsdiamond]

In the Quiet of the Cafe ☕️

Chapter Six - Meet Me In The Morning

(Past – Jisoo’s POV)

Jisoo remembers the night exactly: raining, Hana’s hair dripping onto Jisoo’s kitchen floor, a hot water bottle burning through the ache in her belly.

Hana stood there – quiet, like she was afraid of her own voice.

“I’m pregnant.”

Jisoo had laughed at first. A choked, disbelieving laugh. “Like… actually?”

Hana only nodded. Eyes wide. Terrified.

She remembered hugging her too hard. Telling her it’d be okay. That they’d figure it out. That they’d be her village. That they’d raise this baby if they had to.

What Jisoo doesn’t remember is being angry at Hongjoong. Not right away.

She remembers being angry at the world. At the timing. At the distance.

And later… maybe at him. For not calling. For disappearing while Hana broke apart quietly.

But mostly, Jisoo just remembers Hana holding her stomach like it was the only thing tethering her to the earth – and thinking, if anyone’s going to do this and survive, it’s her.

(Past – Hana’s POV)

Hana opened the door in a hoodie three sizes too big and eyes that hadn’t slept in two days.

Minseok didn’t say anything. Just held up the takeout and nudged her inside.

“I didn’t know if you were craving kimchi stew or tteokbokki, so I got both,” he said, slipping off his shoes.

She sank onto the couch. “You’re a saint.”

“I just like feeding people who forget to feed themselves.”

He passed her a blanket. She didn’t cry. Not that night.

But when he tucked her in and put a pillow under her swollen feet, she whispered, “what if I can’t do this?”

And Minseok said, “Then I’ll be here. Every time you can’t.”

(Present – Hongjoong’s POV)

The morning air was sharp, full of the kind of spring sunlight that makes old things look new again.

Hongjoong stood outside the café, palms damp despite the cool breeze, heart thudding like he was about to walk onto a world stage.

This was harder than performing. Scarier than debuting. He was about to meet his daughter.

The door opened slowly. Hana stood there, soft-eyed, holding it open like she wasn’t sure he’d actually show. But he had. He needed to.

“Areum’s upstairs,” she said. “I told her someone special was coming today.”

His lips twitched. “I hope I live up to the hype.”

She gave him a quiet, nervous smile and led him in.

Areum was sitting at a small table near the play corner of Hana’s apartment, bent over a picture book. The moment she saw her mother, her face lit up.

And then she looked at Hongjoong.

Her wide brown eyes blinked up at him – curious, unafraid.

“Hi,” she said, hopping off her chair and walking right up to him. “Are you the music man?”

Hongjoong blinked. “The… what?”

“My mum said you make songs,” she explained, hands on her hips. “Like the ones I hear on the radio. Do you know ‘Wave’ by Ateez? That’s my favourite one.”

He looked at Hana, a hint of a smirk on his lips. Hana looked at her feet, cheeks flushed.

“I know that one,” Hongjoong said, kneeling down to her level. “Wanna know a secret?”

She leaned in closely. “What?”

“I helped write it.”

Areum’s eyes went huge. Then she gasped. “You’re on the poster! The one in my room!”

His heart clenched.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “That’s me.”

She then imitated his signature laugh, as she tried to dance like they do in their performance videos, and Hongjoong could swear his world turned upside down.

She tilted her head. “What’s your name?”

He swallowed. “Hongjoong.”

She repeated it, carefully. “Hong..joong.”

Then she smiled. “That’s a nice name. You can sit with me if you want.”

And just like that, she turned and went back to her colouring.

Hongjoong sat down beside her, stunned and wrecked and amazed all at once.

She was so… herself.

But also him.

He saw it in the curve of her mouth when she grinned. In the way she hummed while she coloured. In her quiet focus, in the spark behind her questions.

It was like looking into a mirror warped by time.

Hana stood across the room, arms folded, watching them.

Their eyes met.

And something passed between them – not forgiveness, not yet. But something close. Something possible.

Later, Areum tugged on his sleeve. “If you come back tomorrow, I can show you my dance. I made it up.”

“I’d love that,” he said.

She beamed. “Okay. But you have to clap, even if it’s bad.”

“It won’t be,” he said. “Not if it’s yours.”

As he walked out into the sunlight, Hana followed him to the door.

“She likes you,” she said softly.

He nodded, almost afraid to speak. “She’s… incredible.”

“She is.”

He looked at her.

“I missed everything,” he said, and it wasn’t a complaint – it was grief.

“I know,” Hana replied. “But you’re here now.”

That, for today, was enough.

[jjoongsdiamond]

In the Quiet of the Cafe☕️

Chapter Five - The Question

(Flashback – Spring, Senior Year)

The afternoon sun dipped low over the town as five pairs of shoes dangled over the high school’s rooftop edge – scuffed sneakers, mismatched socks (Minseok’s), one set of spotless white high-tops (Jisoo’s, obviously). They had snacks spread across a hoodie-turned-blanket, and a bluetooth speaker playing a lo-fi beat Hongjoong had mixed that night before.

“Okay,” Jisoo announced, flipping a page in her study guide. “Pop quiz: who can actually name all the organelles in a plant cell?”

“Jisoo, it’s Friday,” groaned Hyunwoo, lying flat on his back. “Our brains are off the clock.”

“Mine never clocks out,” she replied, smirking.

Hana laughed softly, twirling a gummy worm between her fingers. “Roughly 70% of your brain is caffeine.”

“Flavoured and functional,” Jisoo said proudly.

Minseok was throwing peanuts in the air and catching them in his mouth – missing most of them. “What if we just move into this rooftop? Build a fort. Never graduate.”

“Great idea,” Hongjoong said. “I’ll write music. Jisoo teaches math. Minseok handles food. Hyunwoo can charm our enemies.”

“And what’s Hana’s job?” Hyunwoo asked, winking.

Hana rolled her eyes. “Keeping you idiots alive.”

They all laugh – big, unfiltered joy that shook the rooftop.

Hongjoong looked over at her then. The sunlight caught the strands of her hair, and her eyes sparkled with something he could never quite describe, only feel.

His heart, even then, already knew.

She was it.

(Present – Hongjoong and Hana’s POV)

The knock came just after closing.

Hana had just finished stacking the last of the chairs when she heard it – sharp, uncertain. Her hands gripped on to the back of the chair in front of her.

She didn’t need to look through the window. She already knew.

She opened the door slowly. The air was cool, thick with the early evening hush, and there he was – standing just outside, in a hoodie pulled over his head and his hands jammed into his coat pockets.

“Hey,” he said softly.

Her throat tightened. “Hi.”

He didn’t ask to come in. And she didn’t offer. They stood there, on opposite sides of the doorframe, like old ghosts.

“I need to ask you something,” Hongjoong said, eyes flicking up to meet hers. “And I need you to be honest.”

Hana stepped back to let him in.

They headed for and sat at the same booth.

Of course it was that booth.

The one by the window, worn smooth by years of elbows and laughter and scribbled lyrics. Hana hated being sentimental, but the idea of ever changing or updating the table sent shivers down her spine.

Hongjoong didn’t say anything at first, just stared at the spot on the table where he used to rest his notebook. His lips were twitching, almost like he was recalling a memory.

Hana’s heart beat so loudly she thought it might crack through her ribs.

He looked up, meeting her soft eyes. He had missed those eyes.

Hana’s stomach flipped seeing the man in front of her, a flashback to the young boy he was in his uniform, smiling back at her with so much love.

“Is she mine?”

The silence after the question was louder than anything she had ever heard.

Hana’s fingers curled around the edge of her seat.

She had imagined this moment in a thousand different ways. A thousand different answers. None of them felt enough.

“I—” she started, voice thin. “I wasn’t going to lie to you. I mean, not forever. I just…”

She sighed. “Yes,” she said finally, voice barely a whisper. “She’s yours.”

Hongjoong exhaled – slow, like he’d been holding his breath for six years.

He leaned back in the booth and ran a hand through his hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, quieter now. Not angry. Just… aching.

Hana looked down. “Because I watched you leave everything behind to chase something you’d wanted your whole life, something we used to talk about under this roof. And it was happening, Joong. You were doing it. And I was so proud of you. I watched your trainee videos and saw how tired you were, how hard you were working. I didn’t want to the be the reason you gave up.”

“I wouldn’t have,” he said, quiet but fierce “I wouldn’t have.”

“But I didn’t know that” she said. “You were already slipping away. I couldn’t risk the final cut being mine.”

He looked at her for a long time. “You didn’t even give me the chance.”

Her chest tightened. “I know, and I’ve carried that every day.” She swallowed. “I wrote letters. I wanted to tell you, so many times. But every time I saw you on TV, or heard you in a song… smiling, performing, living. And I thought… maybe that’s enough. Maybe I could be enough for her. But I was scared. Of being selfish. Of pulling you out of the sky.”

“I was the hometown girl you loved when life was small,” she said quietly. “You outgrew this place. I didn’t.”

“That wasn’t your decision to make,” he said, and there was a sharpness to it now – not anger, but grief. “I missed her whole life.”

“You still can be part of it,” she said, almost breathless. “If you want to be.”

He looked up sharply. “Of course I want to.”

Tears welled in her eyes before she could stop them. “She’s amazing, Joong” she said. “She’s bright and clever and bossy and sings all the time. You’d love her.”

“I already do,” he said.

And something inside her cracked.

They sat there in the quiet, the storm between them beginning to settle. The clock ticked behind the counter. The café smelled faintly of coffee and sugar and memory.

“I don’t know how to do this,” she said. “I don’t even know what this is.”

He looked down at the table, then at her. “Let’s start with one step.”

“Which is?”

“Tell me about her. Let me meet her properly,” he said. “Let me… try.”

Hana nodded.

And for the first time in years, she let herself hope.

“She looks like you,” he said. “She crinkles her nose when she laughs.”

Hana huffed a laugh, an old feeling resurfacing as she saw Hongjoong speak. It was familiar. “She hates carrots and loves the ocean, she is obsessed with minions, and she always listens to Ateez’s music.”

“I want to be in her life,” he said, almost telling himself, determined.

Hana looked at him – really looked. And in his face, she saw not the boy who left, but the man who came back. “You are more than welcome to, and I’m sorry I took that from you all these years. There is so much more I could tell you about her, but I think it’s only right you learn those yourself.”

Hongjoong gulped, “the group were there,” he said softly. “When I wasn’t.”

He had been thinking about how their friendship group had taken the role of taking care of Hana and Areum when he wasn’t there, and how although it hurt, he was so grateful they had the most wonderful friends.

Hana nodded, smiling to herself at the mention of their friends. But her smile was wiped when Hongjoong spoke next.

“You ever think Minseok might’ve loved you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She turned to him slowly. “He did.”

Hongjoong flinched.

“But not like that,” she said gently. “He loved me like I was family, and he knew I would never stop loving you. And he loved you like family too.”

He looked down, shaking his head. “I hated myself for thinking it.”

“You don’t need to. You just need to be here now.”

She reached for his hand. This time, he took it.

And in the silence that followed, surrounded by the ghosts of what could have been, Hongjoong realized something: Minseok hadn’t stolen his place. He’d saved it.

For the day Hongjoong was finally ready to return.

It was late. The streets of their hometown were empty, fog curling around the lamplight like breath in winter.

Minseok was already waiting outside the old park gate when Hongjoong arrived.

Neither of them spoke at first. Just stood there, two shadows under the trees where they used to meet after classes, after shows, after heartbreaks that felt like the end of the world.

Now they were older.

Now it was real.

Hongjoong stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Thanks for coming.”

Minseok nodded. “I figured we’d need to talk again eventually.”

They walked in silence down the path toward the swings. Rusted now. The chains creaked in the breeze.

“I wanted to hate you,” Hongjoong admitted quietly.

Minseok didn’t look surprised. “I figured.”

“I kept thinking… you were there. When I should’ve been.”

“You should’ve,” Minseok agreed. “But you weren’t.”

There was no accusation in his voice. Just fact.

Hongjoong winced. “Did you ever want to tell me?”

“Every damn day.”

“So why didn’t you?”

Minseok finally turned to him. There was no anger in his eyes. Just tiredness. And something deeper – loyalty, maybe. Or loss.

“Because she was already holding herself together with duct tape and coffee. Because you were living your dream, and she didn’t want to be the reason it crashed. Because… if I’d told you, and you left anyway, it would’ve broken her worse.”

Silence.

“Did you ever love her?” Hongjoong asked.

Minseok exhaled, slow and steady. “I love her. But not like you did. Not like she loved you. She’s my family, my sister.”

Hongjoong’s chest cracked open a little.

Minseok looked away. “But I loved her enough to stay.”

The truth hung between them like smoke.

And then – after a moment – Hongjoong sat on the swing, chains groaning beneath him. Minseok followed.

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong said, voice raw. “For not being there. For making you carry it.”

Minseok gave a small, dry laugh. “You were chasing the stars, something we all supported you in doing. You didn’t do anything wrong, Joong. We were just trying to keep one small world from falling apart.”

Hongjoong looked down at his hands. “You did more than I’ll ever be able to repay.”

“You don’t have to repay it,” Minseok said softly, placing his hand on Hongjoong’s shoulder. “You just have to stay this time.”

Minseok knew he would but said it anyway.

That hit harder than anything else.

Hongjoong nodded, eyes stinging.

“I will.”

They hugged, like two old friends coming together after so long, finally able to embrace the moment of their reunion regardless of the chaos around them.

[jjoongsdiamond]

In the Quiet of the Cafe ☕️

Chapter Four - The Girl Who Stayed

(Flashback – The Night He Left)

It was raining.

He hugged her outside the train station, suitcase in one hand, lyrics tucked in his back pocket, and fear barely hidden behind his smile.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he said, muffled in her hair.

She clung to him tighter. “Then don’t.”

But they both knew he had to.

“You’ll call?” she asked.

“Every day.”

“You promise?”

“I swear.”

She kissed him like it was the last time – soft, urgent, final.

He stepped onto the train, turned back at the window – and she smiled for him, even though her chest was breaking.

He never saw the way she crumpled after the train pulled away. And she never told him that she started counting the missed calls. She stopped after thirty-two.

(Past – Hana’s POV)

The day she found out, it was raining. The kind that came without warning—loud, soaking, and cold enough to feel personal. She stood in the tiny bathroom of her grandmother’s café, fingers trembling, a pregnancy test balanced on the edge of the sink. It was her second one. The first she had convinced herself was wrong.

But this one wasn’t.

She was nineteen. Barely out of high school. No university plans. No job outside of the café. No boyfriend.

Not anymore.

She pressed her hand to her mouth and tried her hardest to keep the tears from falling.

She failed.

She didn’t call Hongjoong.

She wrote his name into a message three times, deleting it four. Tried to imagine the look on his face when he answered a phone call from her after two months of silence, and she told him: I’m pregnant.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him. It was that she loved him too much to pull him back down.

He had made it. Trainee. Then debut rumours. His face was on a poster in a shop window the last time she walked through town.

And what was she supposed to say?

“Come home, drop all your dreams. I need you now.”

No. That wasn’t the kind of love they had.

So she made her decision.

She stayed.

She told Minseok first. He was Hongjoong’s best friend, and he was hers too.

They sat on the old picnic table behind the high school, the one their friend group used to crowd around during lunch.

He didn’t say anything at first. Just stared out at the empty soccer field while she twisted her fingers in her lap.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said. “Halmeoni doesn’t know yet. I can’t even—”

“Okay,” Minseok interrupted, voice steady and calm as always. “Then we’ll figure it out.”

She looked at him. “We?”

“Yeah. We. You think I’m gonna let you go through this alone? Hell no. You think Jisoo and Hyunwoo won’t help you build an Ikea crib or whatever the hell babies sleep in? You’re family, Hana.”

Her throat tightened. “He doesn’t know.”

Minseok nodded, quiet again.

“I don’t want to ruin his dream,” she said, almost to herself. “He is so happy, Min. I see videos online, pictures, and he looks so, so, happy. I couldn’t be the reason he quit.”

He didn’t try to talk her out of it, even though she had expected him to, being protective over his best friend. But he didn’t. Didn’t tell her she should tell him.

He just said, “Then we do it your way. But you’re not doing it alone.”

The months passed in waves.

Morning sickness. Long shifts at the café. Her grandmother quietly placing extra food on her plate.

She never asked, but Hana suspected she knew before Hana ever said the words aloud.

She felt Areum move for the first time while wiping down tables.

Just a flutter, like the wingbeat of something small and real.

And in that moment, for the first time since Hongjoong left, she didn’t feel empty.

Her friensd showed up for her in the ways that mattered most.

Jisoo painted the spare room a soft, dusky lavender.

Hyunwoo taught himself how to install a car seat off YouTube.

Minseok stayed late every Friday to help close the café.

One night, after a long shift, Hana sat at the same corner booth where Hongjoong used to write his lyrics. Where they used to write music together. The booth no one else ever sat in anymore. Not even Areum, when she got old enough to understand that it was his.

Hana thought of him, their memories, his touch, his smile.

She pulled a notebook from her bag and started to write.

Not a message. Not a plea.

Just a letter.

Dear Hongjoong,

I hope you’re eating. I hope you’re not so tired that you forget what sleep feels like. I hope when the stage lights hit you, you still feel like the boy who dreamed with a pencil in his hand and cinnamon tea at his side.

I don’t blame you for leaving.

But I wish I’d told you about the life you left behind.

I’m having a little girl.

Her name will be Areum.

She already kicks like she has something to say.

I think she might grow up to sing, too.

She has your fire.

And my silence.

I hope, someday, you hear her.

Forever yours, with all my love,

--Hana.

She never sent the letter. But she wrote many more.

She folded each one and tucked them into a box under her bed. Like time capsules. Like prayers.

On the night Areum was born, the café was dark and quiet.

Her grandmother sat beside her in the hospital, holding her hand. And when they placed that tiny, screaming miracle in her arms, Hana cried for the first time in a long time.

Not because she was scared.

But because she was ready.

She was ready to build a life in the town that never changed. She was ready to raise a daughter with eyes like stars, like his.

Ready to stay.

---

(Present – Hongjoong’s POV)

Hongjoong sat in his childhood bedroom, lights low, a loop of chords playing quietly through his speakers. But all he could hear was Minseok’s voice:

“Every single day, through everything, since the stick on the bathroom sink.”

It hurt. Not because Minseok was there – but because he wasn’t.

He thought of Minseok standing beside Hana during those years he vanished. Carrying things he should have carried. Seeing Areum’s first laugh, first steps, first everything.

Jealousy rose like bile.

And then the thought came – bitter, irrational, cruel.

Did he love her?

Did Minseok fall in love with Hana while Hongjoong was chasing stages and spotlights?

He clenched his fists.

But no.

No.

He’s seen the way Minseok looked at Hana – with love, yes. But not the kind that burned. The kind that held.

Not hunger. Not longing.

Loyalty.

Minseok hadn’t loved her like he did.

Minseok had protected her because he could. Because someone had to.

And Hongjoong hadn’t been there.

So, he swallowed the jealousy, let it choke him for a minute, then let it go.

Because the truth wasn’t about who Hana belonged to.

It was about who had earned her trust when he didn’t.

And now?

Now, he had to earn it back.

[jjoongsdiamond]

In the Quiet of the Cafe☕️

Chapter Three - Silence and Spaces

(Flashback – Summer Before Seoul)

They were seventeen. Maybe eighteen.

Time felt like a blur in the summer heat.

Hongjoong had dragged her out to the rooftop of their high school with his speaker and a half-finished verse.

“Dance with me,” he said, already barefoot on the gravel, holding out his hand.

“There’s no beat yet,” she laughed.

“There doesn’t need to be one,” he replied, tugging her close.

They danced in silence, giggling and swaying, the stars above them like scattered promises.

He pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, “when I make it… you’ll come see me, right?”

She smiled, lips brushing his. “You’ll forget about me when you’re famous.”

He cupped her cheek like she was glass. “Not possible.”

And for a second – she believed it.

(Present – Hana’s POV)

The bell above the café door had stopped ringing hours ago, but the echo of it still clanged in Hana’s chest.

He had walked in like a memory. Like a song she hadn’t played in years but still remembered every word to.

Now, the café was quiet. Just the sound of the fridge humming in the back and the soft ticking of the clock her grandmother had hung when Hana was a child.

She sat at the counter, fingers still trembling slightly from earlier. The mug in her hand had gone cold.

Hongjoong had come back.

The same, but different. Grown up. Familiar.

But now, his world was completely far away from hers. He was a star.

And he had seen Areum.

Her daughter—his daughter.

Hana had spent five years learning how to carry that truth in silence. Years of watching Areum grow, fall asleep clutching her favourite minion plushie, sing along to Ateez songs with that wide grin. She’d always wondered how much her daughter sensed. How much her heart knew without words. She was instantly drawn to Ateez, drawn to Hongjoong’s voice.

And now, Hongjoong had looked at Areum with those same searching eyes. And Hana had seen something shift in him. Not certainty. But suspicion.

And that was terrifying.

(Hongjoong’s POV)

The old park hadn’t changed.

Same rusted swings. Same carved initials in the bench he now sat on—somewhere in there, his and Hana’s names were probably still etched under layers of chipped paint.

Hongjoong looked across the park at the familiar 24-hour tteokbokki shop, another of their friendship groups old hangout spots.

“You look like hell,” Minseok said by way of greeting, sitting beside him. He looked exactly the same, just a little more tired and a lot more grown.

“You ever get punched in the chest by a memory?” Hongjoong muttered.

Minseok arched a brow. “Hana?”

Hongjoong nodded. “She looked the same… but not.”

Minseok huffed a laugh. “Well, it has been six years.”

Hongjoong let out a breath and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “She has a kid, Min.”

There was silence.

“I didn’t even know she was seeing anyone.”

“She wasn’t.”

The words hit like a hammer.

Hongjoong turned, eyes sharp. “What?”

Minseok didn’t look at him. He didn’t want to be the one to tell Hongjoong about Areum, but he was piecing things together anyway.

“She never dated anyone seriously after you left.”

Hongjoong’s mind started moving faster than he could control.

He saw the girl’s face again. Her eyes—so bright, so familiar.

“Min.” His voice was low. “When was the kid born?”

Minseok finally looked at him. And in his eyes, Hongjoong found confirmation before the words came.

Minseok didn’t blink. Didn’t flinch. Just let out a slow sigh.

“You knew,” Hongjoong said, voice quiet but sharp.

Minseok swallowed. “Yeah. We all did. Not long after you left.”

Hongjoong started at him. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“Because she asked us not to.” Minseok leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “She was scared, man. You had just landed your dream – Seoul, the trainee contract, a chance at everything. She didn’t want to hold you back.”

“She didn’t even give me the choice.”

Minseok nodded. “I know. I hated it too. But she was… she was doing what she thought was right.”

There was a long pause. Hongjoong’s hands were clenched on his legs.

Minseok added, softer now, “she cried the night she told us. I’ve never seen her that lost. But she never once blamed you. Not once.”

Hongjoong looked away, jaw tight.

“I wouldn’t have left,” he said.

“I know,” Minseok said. “But I think that’s exactly why she didn’t tell you.”

Hongjoong exhaled shakily. “Were you there for her?”

“Every single day, through everything, since the stick on the bathroom sink.” Minseok smiled sadly. Hongjoong sighed, relief and sadness all at once.

Minseok placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re here now. And that little girl? She deserves to know you.”

There was a lump in his throat he couldn’t swallow.

“Her name’s Areum,” Hongjoong whispered. “Hana called her that.”

Minseok smiled. “Means ‘beauty.’ Fitting.”

There was a long pause.

“Did you ever hate me for leaving?” Hongjoong asked.

Minseok gave a small smile. “Never. If anyone would have made it, it was you. We just missed you.”

He looked out at the dark trees and felt the world tilt beneath him. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, two old friends orbiting a truth that had taken years to arrive.

“I think I have a daughter.”

---

(Hana’s POV)

Minseok arrived after closing, letting himself in through the back door like he used to in high school, back when they all hung out here on summer nights, drinking stolen ciders and playing card games on the café tables.

He walked in with a six-pack of beer and a tired look that said he already knew what she was going to say.

“You saw him,” he said, dropping onto a stool.

She nodded. “He came into the café. Said he was meeting you.”

Minseok cracked a can open. “I didn’t know he was gonna swing by your place first.”

“He didn’t mean to. He just… walked in.”

He hummed. “I guess it’s familiar to him.” He took a long sip. “How’d it go?”

She let out a laugh—short and dry. “Fine. Until Areum ran up and introduced herself.”

He winced. “Damn.”

“He looked at her like… like he knew.”

Minseok leaned forward. “Did you tell him?”

“No. I froze. I panicked. I just…” Her voice dropped. “I lied.”

He didn’t say anything for a while.

“You know he’s figuring it out, right?” Minseok finally said. “He’s smart. And she’s… well, she’s him. It was the first thing he spoke to me about when I saw him.”

Hana looked down at the counter. “I didn’t want to do this to him. To her. I made peace with it. That he was gone.”

“But he’s not gone now. He was always going to come back, if not for us, for you… his family are here.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know what to do, Min. What if he hates me? What if he wants to take her? What if she gets caught up in some media nightmare because of who he is now?”

“You did what you thought was right,” Minseok said gently. “You protected her. And him, too, in a way. But, we both know Hongjoong. He would never do anything to spite you.”

Hana’s throat tightened. “But I should have told him. I should have given him the choice.”

“He made his choice,” Minseok said, not unkindly. “And so did you. He left, and you let him with his best interests in mind.”

Silence settled between them.

But the truth was louder than either of them could say.

Hongjoong hadn’t abandoned her. Not intentionally. But the calls had grown less frequent. The texts, shorter. And eventually… nothing. Just silence. A space that widened until it swallowed her whole.

By the time she realized she was pregnant, he was already a trainee. The group had been announced. His dream was happening.

She couldn’t have taken that from him.

She remembered staring at her phone, fingers hovering over his name.

And then deleting the message.

Again. And again.

That night, after Minseok left, Hana peeked into Areum’s room. The girl was fast asleep, her small chest rising and falling, her stuffed bunny tucked beneath one arm. Her minion plushie the other side of her.

She knelt beside the bed and gently brushed a curl from her daughter’s forehead.

“I did everything I could,” she whispered. “I hope one day you understand that.”

Then she sat on the edge of her own bed, opened the drawer of her nightstand, and pulled out the old box.

Inside: a small stack of letters.

All unsent.

All addressed to Kim Hongjoong.

[jjoongsdiamond]

In the Quite of the Cafe ☕️

Chapter 2 - Cinnamon Tea

(Past – Hana’s POV)

The café always smelled like cinnamon.

Even now, years later, Hana couldn’t enter the space without being transported back to the old wooden booths, sunlight pooling across the tiled floor, and the way Hongjoong used to scribble in his notebook like the world might disappear if he didn’t finish a lyric in time.

But back then, it wasn’t just a café. It was theirs. Their safe haven.

It was late autumn when it really began.

The windows fogged from the heat inside, her grandmother humming quietly in the kitchen, and Hongjoong sitting at the corner booth, tapping his pencil to a quiet rhythm only he could hear.

Hana set a mug down in front of him. “Cinnamon tea. Extra honey.”

He looked up and smiled. That smile — wide and full of spark, like he saw things in the world no one else did.

“You remembered.”

“You order it every time,” she teased, sitting across from him. “You’re predictable.”

He chuckled. “But in a mysterious, tortured artist way, right?”

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “More like a caffeine-deprived high schooler who refuses to admit he likes sweet things.”

He grinned and went back to writing, his pencil flying across the page. She watched his hands move — ink smudges on his fingers, rings clinking softly as he worked. He was all chaos energy, but when he wrote music, he stilled.

“You ever think about leaving?” he asked, suddenly.

She blinked. “Leaving where?”

“Here. Town. This place. Like—actually getting out and doing something.”

She hesitated. She had thought about this more times than she could count. “I used to. I wanted to travel. But…” Her eyes flicked toward the back of the café where her grandmother was.

“But?”

She shrugged. “My halmeoni raised me after my mom left. She’s getting older. I couldn’t just… leave her here to run this place alone.”

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes looking down in understanding. Hana had told him how appreciative she was for her grandmother, and that she would do anything to repay her for all she had done.

Hana was dedicated, and almost frustratingly stubborn sometimes.

That’s what he loved about her.

“I applied to a training program in Seoul,” he said.

Hana looked up sharply. “You did?”

Hongjoong had always expressed his dreams of either producing or being an idol, and despite how dedicated he really was, Hana never believed he would see it through… just like her.

He nodded, eyes on his lyrics. “I auditioned last month with a new, small agency. Got a call-back. They want to sign me.”

She didn’t know what to say. Her heart thudded hard in her chest. But, she swallowed down her selfish thoughts and forced a small smile.

“That’s amazing,” she managed.

“It’s just a chance,” he said quickly. “But if it works out, I’ll be moving.”

Her throat tightened. “When?”

“Maybe… January.”

Two months. Less than that.

He looked at her then, really looked. “Would you hate me if I went?”

She felt the lump rising in her throat, but she swallowed it down and smiled.

“No,” she whispered. “I’d hate you if you didn’t.”

That night, after the café closed, and Hana’s grandmother had forced them out, complaining about them not needing to stay with her, he walked her home under the dim streetlights. The cold air turned their breaths to clouds, and he held her gloved hand like it was the last thing keeping him grounded.

At her front gate, she hesitated, but she turned to him and looked into his eyes.

“I’m proud of you,” she said softly. And she meant it, despite herself, he’d worked too hard and dreamed harder for this.

He leaned in close, his forehead pressing against hers.

“Say you’ll still love me,” he murmured.

She laughed under her breath, even as her heart cracked. “I’ll always love you, stupid.”

And then he kissed her—sweet and unsure, but full of promise.

She didn’t know then that it would be one of the last nights they shared like that.

(Back in the Present)

Hana sat of the café’s back steps, her daughter asleep upstairs in the apartment she had bought soon after she had taken over the café, and the memory of that night playing like a film reel behind her eyes.

She held a cup of cinnamon tea between her palms, the familiar scent sending shivers down her spine, steam curling toward the darkening sky.

He had come back.

She hadn’t let herself think of that possibility in years. Hadn’t let herself hope.

And now he knew Areum existed, and that he was surely to put the puzzle pieces together soon.

What scared her most wasn’t that he might be angry.

It was that he might want to stay.

And she didn’t know if her heart could survive that all over again.

(Hongjoong’s POV)

The air outside the café was colder than he remembered.

Hongjoong walked aimlessly for nearly twenty minutes, turning down familiar streets, past old walls tagged with new graffiti. His hands were buried in his coat pockets, his mind spinning.

His phone kept buzzing, likely his members asking if he arrived home safely, asking how he was doing. Probably his brother, or his parents, asking if he is okay as well.

But none of that mattered now.

That little girl.

Areum.

He hadn’t dared say that name out loud, but it echoed now with every step. There’d been no mistaking the resemblance. It wasn’t just her wide brown eyes or the dimple in her cheek – it was the shape of her smile. His mother’s smile. His smile.

He stopped walking and leaned against a rusting lamppost. The cold metal burned through his jacket.

He need someone who wouldn’t lie to him.

He pulled out his phone, ignoring the notifications, and checked the time. He texted the only person who’d never left him on read, even when he deserved it.

You around now? Can we meet?

[jjoongsdiamond]

In the Quiet of the Cafe☕️

Chapter One - Homecoming

(Present – Hongjoong’s POV)

The train ride home felt foreign. He hasn’t stepped foot in the town in over six years, and yet the station still smelled like burnt coffee and diesel. Still had that creaky vending machine he used to kick in frustration when it stole his coins.

Opting to take the train rather than have a driver bring him, like KQ had insisted, he adjusted his mask and cap before walking through the terminal. It wasn’t likely anyone here would recognize him, but he couldn’t risk it. His world had changed. Their world had stayed still.

He didn’t come back for the nostalgia. Not really.

He came back because something had been tugging at him for months now—a strange ache that even music couldn’t numb.

Hongjoong was excited to see his family again, catch up on everything he had missed or what his brother, Bumjoong, hadn’t updated him on. And of course, he aimed to see his old school friends during this time.

Minseok, his best friend from high school, had texted, “Let’s catch up. It’s been too long.” And Hongjoong agreed, not knowing what he was really hoping to find.

Wandering the streets, his steps took him somewhere he didn’t plan to go.

The café was still there.

His chest tightened.

It looked almost untouched—same wooden frame, soft gold lettering above the door: “Halmeoni’s Place.”

He opened the door.

The bell chimed softly and he stepped in, instantly hit by the scent of cinnamon, espresso, and memory. The place looked the same. Maybe the chairs were newer, maybe the walls a different shade — but the bones were there.

His eyes drifted to the back corner booth. Their booth.

The one where he, her, and their friends: Minseok, Jisoo and Hyunwoo used to cram into after school, textbooks forgotten, music blasting from someone’s phone as they dreamed up futures that felt too big for a town this small.

Where he and her would sit and dream of creating music together. Or he would sit alone, headphones on, writing lyrics while she brought him hot cinnamon tea and kissed his forehead when no one was looking.

He could almost hear Jisoo groaning over calculus while Minseok stole fries from Hyunwoo’s plate. Her laughter had always floated above the rest — soft but sure, like it grounded them.

It felt like standing in a time capsule.

And then he saw her.

And time crashed forward all at once.

Behind the counter stood her. Yoon Hana, bent slightly over a tray of fresh lemon scones. Her hair was longer now, tucked behind her ears. There was a steadiness in her shoulders that hadn’t been there before. She moved like she belonged to this place. Like it belonged to her.

She looked up, and her eyes met his. Brown, steady, sparkling, wide with recognition and disbelief.

Her lips parted slightly, but no sound came out.

”Hi,” he managed. Voice rough, like the words had been buried too long.

She whispered, “Hongjoong?”

He said nothing, only nodded, barely breathing.

For a moment, it felt like they were 18 again.

But then—

“Eomma!”

A small girl bounded into the room, hair bouncing in curls, arms stretched wide. She collided with Hana’s legs and beamed up at her with so much joy it made Hongjoong’s stomach twist.

The child turned toward him, a dimpled grin on her face.

And in that moment, he couldn’t breathe.

Because she had his eyes.

“Hi! I’m Areum!”

Something inside him cracked.

[jjoongsdiamond]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64543990/chapters/165761734

In the Quiet of the Cafe☕️

A Hongjoong x reader/ OC fanfic.

Before Hongjoong pursued his dream, moving to Seoul and debuting as the leader of Ateez, he was in love. Before all of his success he was just a high schooler who had dreams, ones he shared with Yoon Hana.

Yoon Hana was everything Hongjoong needed, a best friend, a confidante, company that he looked for when he needed it the most, a young love most people could only wish to have.

But when Hongjoong moves to Seoul he slowly loses contact with Hana, the distance, absence and busy schedules cause their connection to fizzle away.

Six years later, Hongjoong visits home and finds Hana running her grandmother's café. To his surprise, she has a child who looks remarkably like him.

Cast

Yoon Hana (26)

Soft-spoken, emotionally intelligent, and fiercely independent. She took over her grandmother’s café after high school. Used to dream big alongside Hongjoong, but stayed behind to care for family and, later, raise her daughter. Still writes in journals and listens to his music in secret.

Kim Hongjoong (26)

Leader of ATEEZ. Passionate, driven, and burdened by guilt from leaving Hana behind. Never truly moved on. Success doesn’t feel whole without the people he once loved.

Yoon Areum (5)

Lively and curious, Areum is clever and expressive and connects with people easily. She’s always asking about her father but accepts the soft stories Hana gives her. She instinctively connects with Hongjoong.

Minseok (26)

The “glue” of their old high school friend group. He stayed in town, opened a small mechanic shop. Loyal, sarcastic, and the first to piece everything together when Hana got pregnant.

Jisoo & Hyunwoo

Other close friends from their high school days.

The rest of ATEEZ

Funny, charming, warm and welcoming. Hongjoong's family, they stick by each other through thick and thin.

Status : Ongoing

⋆｡°✩ Chapter 1 ✩°｡⋆ Homecoming

Hongjoong returns to his hometown after a 6 year absence. He absent-mindedly finds himself entering the café that he frequented throughout his high-school years. Here, he see's Yoon Hana once more. And this time, she isn't alone.

Read here

⋆｡°✩ Chapter 2 ✩°｡⋆ Cinnamon Tea

Flashbacks to before Hongjoong left, and realisation kicks in.

Read here

⋆｡°✩ Chapter 3 ✩°｡⋆ Silence and Spaces

Hongjoong speaks to an old friend, and his suspicions are confirmed.

Read here

⋆｡°✩ Chapter 4 ✩°｡⋆ The Girl Who Stayed

Flashbacks to when Hana finds out she is pregnant, her friends coming together and helping her out. The absence of Hongjoong getting to her. Hongjoong wonders about his best friends intentions with the only girl he ever loved.

Read here

⋆｡°✩ Chapter 5 ✩°｡⋆ The Question

The truth is finally revealed. Hongjoong has suspicions. But, eventually, he gets the answers he needs.

Read here

⋆｡°✩ Chapter 6 ✩°｡⋆ Meet Me in the Morning

Hongjoong finally meets the girl who would turn his world upside down.

Read here

⋆｡°✩ Chapter 7 ✩°｡⋆ The Weight of Maybe

Feelings are never to far away when your soulmate reappears.

Read here

[jjoongsdiamond]

you’re hongjoong’s bias

when you and your group go on idol radio to promote your latest comeback, you don’t anticipate one of the hosts to be completely enraptured by you

⇀ pairing idol!hongjoong x idol!reader

⇀ genre fluff, idol au

⇀ style one shot

⇀ word count 8.6k

⇀ warnings brief mentions of idol life difficulties, food, hugging, kissing, this is basically all fluff

⇀ reactions from the gc “IM GONNA JUMP OFF A MOVING TRAIN” “Ooohhhhhhh Oh Shit” “You love to torment us with this don’t you”

note this is written completely gender neutral, all of your group members use they/them pronouns and have unisex names so you can imagine any type of group, there’s a mention of makeup but all genders wear makeup in the entertainment industry, also here is a little playlist inspired by the group in this fic if you’re real delulu like me

your group, eclipse, had been enjoying your recent promotional period, your fans, lovingly termed starlight, had been working hard to promote your latest comeback and for once your company had been able to do the same. eclipse wasn’t particularly unknown before, you’d already had your first music show win and been recognized at several korean music award shows, but this was certainly your most successful song and mini album yet. you, as the main dancer and oldest, had particularly enjoyed all of the interest from idols that had asked to do the dance challenge with you for tiktok and instagram. it allowed you to meet a lot of people in the industry who you had admired and wanted to get to know before but didn’t know how to approach. of all the idols you had done the challenge with there was certainly one that stuck out in your mind, kim hongjoong, captain of ateez and dj on idol radio.

your group had gone onto the radio show as part of your promotions, something not unusual for you all as you’d been on an episode when youngjae and young k were the hosts, as well as one with joohoney and hyungwon as djs just over a year ago. this time, however, felt very different. maybe it was the nerves from how much more attention your group was receiving that was making you feel a little fidgety in your seat or maybe it was the fact that one of the djs couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of you.

for the first ten minutes of your time at idol radio you’re scared that there’s something on your face, trying to subtly glance at any reflective surface to parse what could be causing someone to pay so much attention to you.

when yunho and hongjoong both seemed to be completely focused on another one of your members, asking something about the recording process for the album, you try to subtly place a hand on the arm of your group’s leader, nuri, sat right next to you.

as you lean away from the microphone in front of you, your leader turns to you, and you breathe out the word “makeup” in hopes that nuri will find whatever smudge caught hongjoong’s sharp eye.

unfortunately, they only shake their head, eyes darting around your face but returning to your own once they don’t find anything. they squeeze your hand gently with their own before turning back to the interview, a subtle gesture to both comfort you and let you know that they will definitely ask why you were concerned later.

as you retract your hand from nuri’s arm, you turn back to face the center of the table, which was conveniently set up so that your and nuri’s seats were directly opposite hongjoong and yunho’s, respectively. meaning that when you turn back to refocus on the matter at hand you instantly notice how hongjoong nervously looks away from you, suddenly finding the side of his co-hosts face extremely interesting.

“so, your latest mini album is called,” yunho begins, looking at the card in front of him to guarantee he doesn’t mispronounce it, “close orbit. this is the end of the orbit series in your concept right?”

nuri nods eagerly next to you before beginning their usual spiel about the members' roles in the creative direction of your group.

often times you’re deemed as the second in command, filling in the gaps your leader may miss, and therefore you’d like to think that you’re pretty good about turning on professional mode no matter the situation. however, from the corner of your eye you see hongjoong’s gaze flitting between you and nuri every few seconds and his behavior has begun to have you a bit nervous, fidgeting with one of the rings your stylist had given you that morning. you desperately try to pay attention to what nuri is talking about but, with the combination of the fact that you already know everything about what they’re saying and the heat that’s creeping up your neck as you try to push the thoughts of hongjoong’s behavior from your mind, you find your own thoughts wandering to hongjoong and his weird behavior.

yunho calls your name suddenly, once nuri is finished, shifting your attention back to the interview at hand and beginning to talk about your involvement in eclipse, aside from simply being a member of the group.

you try not to flick your gaze over to hongjoong too often, who now seems to find the cards he’s surely read over several times before intensely interesting, as yunho acknowledges your skills as main dancer and notes for the audience how involved you are in your group’s choreographic process, which already has a warmth blooming in your chest as you’re aware he’s the main dancer of his own group and you always find recognition from other group’s dancers to feel extra special, but the warmth is quickly transferred to your cheeks only a moment later.

“it’s kind of funny,” yunho starts and you tilt your head in interest as he peaks over to his co-host, “you’re hongjoong’s bias.”

from the look that takes over hongjoong’s face, a mix of shock and embarrassment, and the way he turns quickly to look at yunho with slight anger, you assume that this fact was supposed to stay secret, although you’re partly thankful that you have a seemingly good explanation for why hongjoong hadn’t been able to look away from you since you stepped into the studio.

you’re sure your own shocked expression comes over your face before you’re schooling it quickly, although you hear your maknae, star, sat right next to you, snickering softly under their hand, and you shoot star a quick side eye that seems to remove the humor from the situation for them.

“uh, thank you,” you say with a bow as low as the table in front of you allows, “it means a lot to hear that from a senior like you. thank you for your support.”

“of course,” hongjoong speaks suddenly, mirroring your bow as much as he can before stuttering out a statement about how you’re “so inspiring” and “light up the stage”. his face is getting redder by the second as he digs himself further into a hole but you can feel that your face is heating to match his own.

yunho seems to sense the way he’s pushed the interview off the rails and interrupts to bring attention back to your group entirely and your comeback.

through the next few minutes of the show, you’re noticeably and uncharacteristically distant as you now find yourself to have almost traded positions with hongjoong, subtly staring at him as much as you can manage without drawing immediate attention from your fans or members.

in opposition, hongjoong had now taken to looking at pretty much anything that wasn’t you after yunho had shared his little secret. unfortunately, maybe fortunately, you found that you can barely tear your gaze from the blue haired man across the table.

you were obviously a fan of ateez, being able to appreciate a lot of aspects about their talents and skills, but you’d never really gotten too much into the members themselves, aside from knowing who was who and what they each did. you found that as an idol yourself it could feel weird to try acting like a normal fan of a group, making you almost hyper aware of your own fans and their habits as you would try to focus on just one video that wasn’t related directly to the group’s music or performance.

this had meant that you had no ateez bias, although you knew a decent amount about the members, but now you’re rethinking your whole ideas of being a fan as an idol.

as you think to yourself, you attempt to rationalize the past few minutes, assuming that yunho was just joking around, trying to make fun of his hyung or maybe meaning something different from what your group’s fans meant when they said they biased you. however, every time you’ve managed to start convincing yourself, you’re just reminded of hongjoong’s reaction in the moment his member had said something.

your spiraling thoughts are only serving to distract you and suddenly, feeling a hand on your shoulder to bring you back to reality, you realize that they had started playing one of the songs from your album, letting you and your members grab snacks and wave to the fans through the window. the member with their hand on your shoulder, one of your best friends in the group, eunjae, looks at you with a mix of worry and bemusement, although you hear the slight smirk they wear in their voice as they ask if you’re okay.

you wave eunjae off before you head over to the window, not feeling particularly hungry, and hope that maybe seeing your fans will help to ground you, just as they always do.

as you’re waving through the window at several people with headbands of your and your member’s names you feel a presence beside you, much larger than any of your members. you turn to find yunho near you, not crowding you but obviously intentionally in your space, most likely to draw your attention without suspicion.

“sorry about that,” he says as you turn to him and he gestures toward the snack cart closer to the corner.

you know what he’s doing, trying to make it seem like you two are just talking about the food so as to not make fans question your interaction and so you follow him to the snack cart as you ask, trying not to show any of the question on your face, “about what?”

“making you uncomfortable,” he supplies. “hongjoong had asked me not to say anything but i didn’t think about the fact that he may have been asking that for your comfort rather than his own” yunho says in barely a whisper and you can see a light blush dusting his cheeks.

you’re thankful that your members had basically switched with you, greeting fans after clearing away from the snacks.

“don’t worry,” you reassure. “i'm not uncomfortable, it was more shocking than anything” you tell him, and as you say it you realize it’s the truth.

as an idol you often have to sacrifice your comfort for others but in this moment you aren’t saying it out of necessity but as the truth, and when you glance behind you at hongjoong, who’s intently avoiding all of your members as he also waves to the atiny that are mixed in with your fans, you feel something sparkle in the pit of your stomach. it’s a pleasant feeling, something reminiscent of admiration but more complex, deeper.

you’re not afraid to admit to yourself that hongjoong is attractive, undeniably handsome and, from everything you’d heard, genuinely nice to those around him. you could admire him as a leader and creative, knowing how much responsibility he had and that he still managed to enjoy what he did, but, with both of you working in the industry, dating could be next to impossible.

in all honesty, you’re not sure the last time you’d even had time to explore any sort of romantic interest in anyone, and maybe you were simply deprived of that experience so your brain was running wild with even the slightest exploration of thought. however your company had no dating ban and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to venture into that side of a normal life.

bringing you back to the present moment, yunho lets out a heavy breath and hands you a random piece of candy off the cart that you accept with a slight bow, convincing everyone that might be watching that you were talking about the snacks the whole time.

soon after your interaction concludes, everyone is quick to gather back around the table, taking your seats as your song fades out in the background. the next segment goes smoothly, yunho and hongjoong leading your group in a little game about how much your members know each other.

throughout the game you can’t help but sneak glances at hongjoong, your mind still working through the thoughts you’d had during the break. he appears to be trying hard to not notice you looking at him, but he manages to slip up occasionally and you try to send him a warm, if not slightly teasing, grin each time your eyes connect.

though your original intention with the gesture wasn’t to fluster the man, you find the way he reacts each time to be endearing, the blush returning to his cheeks and even starting to spread up to his ears. every time your gazes meet you feel that same tingle in your stomach begin to spread up to your chest, his expression each time feeding it, and you start to find a bit of comfort in that sensation as you feel like you’re getting to admire hongjoong who you’d been avoiding at the beginning of the show.

you’re starting to have a bit too much fun with this little game you made for yourself when yunho introduces another one of the songs from your group’s album and it starts to fade in, bringing an end to your antics.

this time, as the break starts, you intentionally take a moment before standing, pretending to stretch in your seat and standing slowly as you see hongjoong moving toward the fans out of the corner of your eye. you, as subtly as you can, move toward the fans and in the general direction of hongjoong, trying to get the opportunity to talk to him since he had been shying away from speaking to you ever since yunho’s little slip up. he seems too distracted by an atiny that’s mouthing something to him through the window to notice how close you manage to get.

once you’re sufficiently within speaking range, but not too close, always careful of fan suspicion when you’re in the presence of other idols, you try to casually greet him with a simple “hi” but you’re unprepared for the way he quickly flips around to face you, looking almost like a deer in headlights.

you’re both a bit stuck, just staring at each other before you hear a very obvious fake cough coming from both yunho and nuri that seems to snap you out of it and you each try to play it off with giggles and laughs, mostly for the camera and fans that had been intently tuned in to the strange interaction between the two of you.

“sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” you say as you move toward the window, pretending like it had been your intention the whole time to simply say hi to fans once again.

“oh no, uhm, i’m sorry, i don’t know why i reacted like that,” he answers shakily with a nervous chuckle and turns back to the fans as well.

for a moment you both just wave out at the fans, genuinely finding interest in those that had come to support you. after what you deem to be enough time of interaction you finally speak up.

“i’m not uncomfortable, by the way,” you mention casually, hoping hongjoong understands what you mean.

“oh, really?” he sound’s surprised, and you peak out of the corner of your eye to see that he’s trying to hold back the surprise from showing on his face.

“yeah,” you admit. “i’m actually flattered,” you add, turning to hongjoong with a soft smile before you move to the snack cart.

you miss the way his shoulders seem to visibly relax and the grin that spreads onto his face as you leave. fan’s will chalk it up to the fact that he was relieved to be a further distance from you, hongjoong being know to keep his space from the idols that come on as guests, but yunho is quick to spot that it looks more like the expression his captain wears after a satisfying performance or successful interview.

your break is quick to wrap up after that, this song being shorter than the one they’d played earlier, and you’re all back to your seats. you start to readjust in your seat, getting comfortable for the next portion of the show, until you’re passed a head mic and remember that you’re going to teach, along with another one of your members, insoo, yunho and hongjoong the point choreography from your title track.

you’re excited to be back in your element, almost forgetting everything that had happened with hongjoong as you and your member run through the choreography to demonstrate before you’ll teach the boys.

the choreography is nothing too difficult, as your company is always sure to remind you that easier point choreo is more marketable, but it involves a great deal of interaction between you and your member, them starting the section standing directly in front of you, and you manipulate them until they have to squat in front of you.

yunho is quick to decide that he will do your part, claiming that because you’re both main dancers it makes sense as well as sighting the height difference, although the height difference between you and insoo is almost negligible compared to yunho and hongjoong’s height difference, but hongjoong doesn’t put up a fight, the gaze he’d had on you at the beginning of the schedule returning with a different undertone, one you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

the choreography wasn’t particularly sexy, your group not one to lean too heavily into those kinds of concepts, but it was certainly powerful and this particular song made you feel confident, considering you got to be center for the point.

you blame hongjoong’s shift on your own perception, but his gaze certainly reignites the buzz in your stomach, now fully formed into butterflies whose wings brush against the inside of your ribs, longing to be released.

you try to shake it off and step into teaching mode, familiar comfort seeping into you as you take on the most usual role for yourself. you quickly teach yunho your part, and as expected he catches on quickly, and insoo tries to demonstrate what hongjoong should do as best they can, although their part is hard to describe as insoo often goes off of your energy and cues.

when he stumbles out of the ending squat to fall on his butt all three of you that are standing are quick to rush over to him but he just chuckles in slight embarrassment before picking himself up and you all laugh together.

“hm what about you try it with him and i can do it with yunho,” insoo suggests quickly, looking like they just thought of the best solution to hongjoong’s learning difficulties.

you’re a little surprised but agree nonetheless as yunho adds that he’s sure his hyung would be fine with that, but once hongjoong is standing right in front of you it’s not so much hongjoong you’re worried about.

you try to back up a bit, trying to give yourself a bit of distance between you two, but are quick to realize that the choreography won’t work if you’re any further apart and so just as you take a step toward the man in front of you he also takes one into you, realizing that you had both started to get too close to the table now behind him.

your hands are quick to come up to his chest before you can fully fall into him and you jump back as quickly as you can, pulling your hands away as though he burned you.

the same look of shock as when you’d come up behind him during the break is present on hongjoong’s face, and he’s glad there are no cameras that face him right now to see it, but all you can pay attention to is the warmth that you had felt on your palms at the contact between you two.

the whole interaction had felt to you like it was minutes long but in reality it was barely a couple seconds, and you’re once again trying to slip back into the dance teacher role as well as you can when you’re so acutely aware of how close hongjoong is to you in this moment. you can just smell the fading cologne he’d applied earlier in the day, a mix of linen and leather that feels like it turns your brain to mush as you try to remember what you were supposed to be doing with him standing in front of you like this in the first place.

his surprise melts to a look of concern as he sees you shake your head, hoping to clear your thoughts as though they were being physically blocked by all your senses screaming hongjoong.

“so you start like this,” you supply quickly, trying to ignore the way hongjoong won’t drop the worried expression from his face.

you need to move quickly, the man in front of you is starting to make you feel dizzy and you aren’t sure your company, or your members, would enjoy you passing out for seemingly no reason while on a live program.

normally when you dance this part, you make full contact with your member but you can’t bring yourself to touch hongjoong completely, partially fearing you won’t want to let go once you do. instead you ghost your hands along the places you might normally drag them and float over the places you might normally grab.

as you move him slowly into the final positioning you’re realizing that it may have been more torturous to avoid touching him then to just give in to your desire to connect with him, every time your skin makes the lightest contact sending a jolt up through your arms and your breath catching in your throat, if for a moment.

“so that’s it,” you nod, trying not to sound as breathless as you feel and hongjoong looks up at you almost expectantly. you’re waiting for him to move, looking back down at him, and you feel his gaze almost peering through you, like he can see every deep breath you’re taking to try to calm your heart, like he knows exactly how you’ve felt for the past few minutes as you tried to teach him the movement, like he knows exactly what he does to you.

it’s kind of funny how you could feel so small compared to a man that you’re currently looking down on but it’s kim hongjoong who’s looking back up at you, in your clouded brain it seems to make sense.

you’re not sure who speaks up but you hear yunho and insoo moving next to you, although the dull ringing in your ears hasn’t fully subsided. you feel yourself, as though in a daze, move away from hongjoong, something you’re not actually sure you even want to do but your body has decided for you.

as insoo reclaims their place in front of you, you’re suddenly aware of the fact that you’d had that entire encounter with hongjoong in front of, not just your friends, but your fans, your managers, and several live cameras. you feel redness creeping up to consume almost your entire face and you’re glad insoo is blocking you. they give you a slight look of concern and you just clear your throat, pushing the thoughts of hongjoong down until they meet the butterflies in the pit of your stomach, taking a breath to urge them to calm down as well.

the rest of idol radio seems to pass in a blur. you’re even more distant than when you were lost in your thoughts earlier, although this time it seems as though your mind is absolutely blank. if you had wanted it to shut up before, now you’re wishing for it to just go, the image of hongjoong squatting in front of you the only thing you can seem to focus on.

you don’t fully come back to your senses until you’re sat in the car that’s set to take you, and your members, back to your dorm, your schedules for the day complete, and although you thought that distance may have aided your situation you were certainly wrong. your mind has taken to replaying the moment you’d shared with him over and over, not sparing a single detail and you feel as though you’re reliving the interaction again as you practically sense the heat radiating from his skin under your fingertips.

“are you, like, good?” star asks, placed once again right next to you. you look at them with what you hope is a convincing smile as you nod gently, before turning back to watch seoul pass in a blur through the window.

that night, you and your members, seven in total, gather to eat the takeout your manager had ordered as congratulations on a good day of promotions and suddenly you feel several pairs of eyes on you.

“what?” you ask, looking between all the members that weren’t currently too focused on their food.

“what was that between you and hongjoong?” insoo asks with a smirk, noddles almost forgotten on their plate.

“what was what?” you ask, trying to will the blush that creeps up your neck away.

insoo rolls their eyes in response, seeing right through your act and very clearly remembering what they had seen when they were stood right in front of you.

“y/n’s crushing on hongjoong,” star sings cheerily before someone’s foot, likely eunjae’s, makes contact with their shin under the table and they hiss.

you scoff at the statement, trying to play dumb to the way all your members were clearly seeing through you. “i do not,” you state indignantly, taking a big bite of your food as you glare at star.

“whatever you say,” star shrugs, a teasing smirk on their face.

luckily the conversation is quick to shift away from you and you’re able to enjoy your meal without any more interrogation.

later that night, as you prepare for bed, you hear a gentle knock on your bedroom door and open it to find nuri.

“hey, what’s up?” you ask, noticing they’re already dressed for bed.

“here,” they say, holding a piece of paper out which you take from their hand with some hesitancy.

“thanks?” you state, although it’s more of a question as you wonder what’s on the slip of paper now in your possession.

“hongjoong’s kakao id,” they say with a nod toward the paper and you blush, clearing your throat quickly. “it’s fine to have a crush by the way,” they continue and your face only grows warmer. “i’d just appreciate it if you'd tell me if you end up dating. easier for me to help.”

you don’t say anything as you just nod your head in understanding, closing your door quickly and pressing your face into your hands in embarrassment.

you place the slip onto your desk, glad in moments like these that you got the only solo room, and debate about adding him. i mean, you hadn’t spoken more than a few sentences to each other, but what could really be the worst that could happen?

you try not to think about how nuri got his id, wondering if maybe they already knew each other and praying they hadn’t asked him for it just for you today, as you add him on your kakaotalk, tossing around ideas of opening messages. eventually you settle on a simple “hi, this is y/n” and send it quickly before you can overthink.

you don’t expect a reply immediately, noting how late it is, but almost as soon as you lock your phone the screen is lighting up with a message back.

hongjoong: hi

hongjoong: i wasn’t sure you were actually going to text me

hongjoong: i mean i know you told me you weren’t uncomfortable but still

a smile stretches across your lips as you realize hongjoong gave his id to nuri to give to you specifically and you scold yourself for being so out of it that he couldn’t give it to you directly.

you: i meant it when i said i was flattered

you: it’s a huge compliment to be admired by someone like you

you try to err on the side of caution. maybe he just wanted to talk to you about work, music and dance, so you tried not to be too informal, ateez and hongjoong being your senior. although you did try to hint that you were interested past a professional, and even platonic, relationship, but it had certainly been a while since you’d flirted with anyone, outside of fan service.

hongjoong: i wanted to ask you something

you: ask away

hongjoong: we have a new song coming out soon and i wondered if you’d be interested in doing the dance challenge for it

hongjoong: with me

you could feel the butterflies awaken inside of you once more, excited at the prospect of being able to see him again and the fact that he asked you specifically about doing the challenge.

you: i’d love to

you: just text me

with your agreement you both wrap up the conversation, bidding each other good night, and you go to bed with your thoughts full of hongjoong and stomach full of butterflies.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the rest of your own promotional period flies by, successful and rewarding as the support from your fans results in several music show wins and lots of recognition from all over the world. the whole time you try to focus more on work than your recently budding friendship with the leader of ateez, but it’s hard when you find yourself just as excited to end your day and finally be able to message him as you do when you can see your fans or perform. your members have certainly noticed a change in your demeanor, eager to shut yourself in your room to be alone, and some fans have commented about how happy you’ve seemed lately. luckily, your interaction from idol radio is barely recognized, only a few of the usual shippers making theories about your or hongjoong’s behavior that other fans are quick to brush off as a reach.

hongjoong: happy last day of promotions! i hope your schedules go well today

he doesn’t normally text you in the morning but you’d been telling him the night before about it being your last day to promote your comeback and so you check the timestamp on the message to find it was sent around 3am, probably when he managed to actually get to bed considering he’d told you he was working in the studio on ateez’s next comeback.

you shoot him a thank you text back, doubting he’ll see it until he wakes up a little later in the day, and get ready to head out for your schedule.

you were performing on the show again today, a music show that one of hongjoong’s members, yeosang, was an mc on. you didn’t even think much of the fact as you arrived and got ready with your styling team, having interacted with yeosang as an mc during this promotional period already. although as you sat in the hair and makeup chair, ready for the usual routine, a light knock sounded against the door of your dressing room.

after a quick check that everyone was decent, nuri approached the door. you couldn’t see who was on the other side, nuri discussing something with them and bowing as you assume the other person handed them a plastic bag.

you were slightly confused, none of your members or staff having ordered delivery, as nuri closed the door, taking a peek into the plastic bag before heading in your direction.

“here,” they said as they placed the bag onto your lap and you gave them a questioning glance.

“what’s this?”

“from yeosang who said it’s from a friend,” they explain with a wink and you try not to blush at the implication.

nuri walks away without saying anything else and you glance into the bag, seeing a few of the snacks you’d mentioned craving to hongjoong just last night. you push around the items and find a little note, similar to that which had held his id on it, and open it in the bag to avoid suspicion from those around you.

i know how hard it can be to eat during schedules so i hope this can help. good luck today, text me when you win

you try to ignore the way your heart picks up at the thought of him caring this much for you but it’s hard when you know that you’re already so infatuated with him. his confidence in you and your group was also just so heartwarming, something that was certainly making you fall deeper for the man you’d so recently grown attached to.

you munch on the gift as your hair gets styled, a smile unable to leave your face as you debate texting him to thank him. unfortunately you don’t get a chance as you’re thrown into the whirlwind of performing and preparing for a potential encore stage, your group loving to do silly little things for starlight whenever you win.

of course, like most times, hongjoong is right and your group wins for the final time this comeback, celebrating on stage with your fans and members. throughout your encore, your mind drifts to hongjoong, how you can text him and celebrate together.

as soon as all of your members arrive to your dorm, shoes discarded in the entranceway and takeout being served on the table, there’s a sudden ring of the doorbell and half of you freeze. the other half continue on with their tasks as nuri offers to get the door, handing off the serving task to insoo who is more than happy to take responsibility.

“y/n!” nuri calls from the door only a moment later and a few of your members give you a confused look as you shrug and make your way to your leader.

“yeah?” you ask as you approach, turning the corner to see two bouquets, not too large but very beautiful, in nuri’s grasp, the front door closing as you assume the delivery driver leaves.

“this is for you,” nuri says with a grin and you don’t keep the surprise from your features as they hand you the smaller of the two pieces, noting that they are your favorite flowers and spotting the little card in the center.

y/n,

congratulations on your win today. you always look so beautiful when you dance.

hj <3

you don’t try to hide the blush that blooms over your cheeks, your mind hyper focused on the little heart at the end of the message, and turn to nuri.

“what does that one say?” you ask, gesturing to the other bouquet that contains a mix of flowers with your group’s official colors.

nuri turns the bunch to you so that you can read the card.

eclipse,

congratulations on a successful comeback,

ateez

you nod as you turn back to the flowers in your hands, nuri pushing past you to join the other members in the kitchen. you can hear them explain who the flowers are from and mentally thank nuri when they don’t mention your personal bunch.

you manage to sneak the flowers to your room before you head back out to the table for dinner, shooting hongjoong a picture and a quick thank you.

hongjoong: i’m glad you like them

hongjoong: and i meant it, you looked breathtaking today

you suppress your smile as you read his response, trying not to catch the attention of any of your members, but you glance up to see nuri looking at you with a knowing, if not approving, smile.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you’ve been following ateez a little more closely now, their newest comeback, bouncy, releasing just last week and doing amazingly on the charts. you’d been sending hongjoong little things like snacks, coffee, and meals to keep him motivated and show your support and he’d been showing his appreciation by sending you pictures of him eating or just selfies of him during schedules.

you were certain that your relationship was headed in a more romantic direction as you both became more bold in your texts. you’d also begun video calling when you were able, sometimes just doing your own things while you were on a call together.

you were eager to possibly try taking the next step and actually go out on a date but with ateez still in the midst of promotion you understood that hongjoong’s free time was limited. so you left it up to him, not pressuring hongjoong by asking him out or even alluding to wanting to date.

“do you know the challenge or do you want me to teach you?” hongjoong had asked one night when you were on video call.

he’d brought up your promise from months ago to do the challenge and you assured him that you were still interested.

“i mean i sort of know it just from watching it a bunch, but if you want to teach me i’m not opposed,” you said with a cheeky shrug and hongjoong grinned.

“i don’t have to teach you babe,” he says with a light chuckle that sends a shiver down your spine.

that was another thing that had started recently, the pet names. hongjoong had accidentally referred to you as “babe” over text one time, rushing to apologize when you had taken just a second too long to respond, but you assured him that you weren’t upset just trying to be able to actually think again when the name had short circuited your brain.

“fine,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “i want you to teach me,” you admit with a slight wine. “there, happy?”

he chuckles again with a nod and an “okay” before you’re setting up the best day for you to meet at the kq company building, having to end the call soon after so that he can actually get some sleep.

the next few days have you on edge as you anticipate being able to see hongjoong in person for the first time since your appearance on idol radio. you even plan your outfit a day in advance, feeling almost like you’re going on a first date as you ensure your hair and makeup are perfect.

“have fun,” nuri says with a knowing wink as you leave your dorm and you don’t give them your normal embarrassed look, too focused on the excitement of seeing hongjoong.

you arrive at the kq building right on time, a staff member greeting you in the lobby and taking you to the practice room where you’ll be doing the challenge. you’d seen this same room plenty before on video, ateez dance practices being one of the few contents you’d watched before getting to know hongjoong.

“he should be here in a second,” the staff says, glancing at her phone, and you nod with a grin.

“its fine,” you assure. “thank you.”

just as you start to observe the room a little more, looking around and comparing it to your own practice room, the door opens and hongjoong enters.

even though you’d seen him on your screen almost everyday for the past week, nothing can compare to the way he looks in person, especially since he’d changed his look. atiny had been going crazy over his newly silver hair and you were no different, texting him how much you loved it as soon as you found out.

“hi,” he says with a smile as soon as he spots you.

you reach out your hand and repeat his greeting, bowing as you shake hands to imitate a sense of formality in front of the staff member.

you don’t want to let go of his hand but you pull away anyway, taking a step back to put some distance between you two and hoping to calm the urge that bubbles in your chest to take him into your arms.

“so, would you like for me to teach you the challenge?” he asks and you bite the inside of your cheek to stop the laugh that builds in your throat at the question, knowing you’d already asked him to teach it to you a few days ago.

“yes please,” you nod and hongjoong gestures so that you can move toward the mirror.

honestly, the choreography is pretty easy to pick up, especially since you’ve watched it so many times already, but you relish in the way hongjoong watches you and decide to just mess around with him a little. it couldn’t hurt to ask a few questions you already knew the answer to right?

“so, is it here or out here?” you ask with an innocent quirk of your brow, placing your left hand out, palm flat and moving it back and forth between two positions.

you see hongjoong’s eyes narrow just slightly, as he had clearly seen you get it right the first time, and you know he’s picking up on your little game. his eyes flick to the staff member in the room, noting that she’s on her phone in the corner, looking away, before he takes a step toward you.

instead of just answering your question he reaches around you, keeping his body on your right and wrapping his left arm around your back to grasp your elbow. he moves your arm into the proper place and you feel his other hand place itself on your waist. as you try to focus on anything but the way his fingers press into your skin he leans his head down slightly, enough so that you can feel his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear and across your cheek.

his proximity has your heart pounding and you almost hope he can hear it, wanting him to know that what he’s doing is working. you want him to know that this is exactly what you wanted, that you wish this is how close you could have him all the time.

“right here,” he says, barely a whisper, and just as you start to lean into him, longing to be completely consumed by his warmth, he steps away and his presence is replaced by the cool air that blows through the vent above you.

you clear your throat as you try to shake away the lingering warmth his touch left against your skin and slow your heartbeat as you go back to rehearsing the movements, for real this time.

you try to ignore the smirk that paints his face as he watches you practicing, a blush painting your own cheeks that starts to match his the longer he stares.

“okay, i think i got it,” you say after a few more rounds of practice. “what do you want to do for the outro?” you ask. “or do you just want to end it after the ‘fly’?”

you turn to hongjoong who looks around the room in thought.

“we could do the ending pose from moonbeam,” he suggests, referring to the title track you’d been promoting on idol radio, and you’re taken aback for a moment.

you’re not so much shocked that he would suggest something to do with your group but that he would choose that pose specifically. it would normally involve you and eclipse’s main vocalist, gam, standing while everyone else sat around you, leaning on each other. you and gam would be staring just past each other as your right arms were tangled in front of you in a sort of love shot position.

“oh, sure,” you say taking a moment to picture you and hongjoong in that position and your blush darkens. “i guess.”

“we don’t have to,” he says, sensing your hesitation. “we can do something else.”

you shake your head as you reassure him, “no, no, it’s fine.”

hongjoong just nods and you run through the challenge once more, practicing the final pose as well and trying to not let the proximity that the pose forces you into affect your face, of course you have no control over how it affects your heart and mind.

“great,” he says, mostly to himself, before calling over the staff member who directs you where to stand and prepares the shot.

the shooting of the challenge itself goes well, you both switching easily into professional mode even if you can see his eyes watching you through the mirror the whole time. you do a few takes, allowing the company to pick whichever they deem best, before you’re done and thanking hongjoong and the staff member for their time.

“oh,” hongjoong perks up before you can begin to head out. “i got you a thank you gift for doing the challenge but i left it in my studio.” he turns to the staff member and asks, “would you mind going to grab it?”

she nods before making her way out of the room, leaving you and hongjoong alone.

your eyes follow her as she leaves but before you can even turn back to hongjoong he’s pulled you into a hug, arms wrapped securely around your waist as he looks into your eyes.

“hi,” he greets with a chuckle, absolutely beaming as you snake your hands around his shoulders.

you giggle in response, your expression mirroring his own, as you finally get to see him how you wish you had for the entire time you’d been in his presence.

“i’ve been waiting to do this for the last half hour,” he says, practically reading your mind.

“so do you actually have a thank you gift or was that just an excuse?” you ask with a tick of your head to the door where the staff member had disappeared.

he looks almost offended as you ask, a humorous disbelief shining in his eyes. “of course i have a gift,” he says and you can hear a slight whine lacing his tone.

“of course,” you say with a chuckle and a shake of your head.

“i would’ve invited you to lunch but the staff would’ve been suspicious,” he adds, “so this is the next best option.”

“i can feed myself you know,” you joke, truly more than happy to have hongjoong buy you meals.

“not if i can help it,” he insists, wrapping his arms tighter and pulling you closer.

you don’t fight against him, your chests now pressed together as you simply wade in the comfort that surrounds you both.

you debate about leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek, wanting to feel the soft skin against your lips, but you don’t. instead you let your cheek fall to his shoulder, resting your head against him and letting the scent of his cologne wash over you.

“what are you doing tomorrow?” hongjoong asks, one of his hands starting to trace along your spine, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“mm,” you hum in thought as you try to remember your schedule. “we have shooting until five and then eunjae wants to watch a new movie,” you say before lifting your head from his shoulder. “why?”

he lets out a breath and his hand comes to a stop on your back, both of his hands gently holding either side of your waist. the smile he gives you seems nervous now, not quite reaching his eyes.

“i wanted to ask if you’d like to get dinner with me tomorrow night,” he explains with a gentle squeeze of your hips. “but if you’re busy we can do it a different night.”

you shake your head quickly, face red and smile as wide as your lips can manage. “eunjae can wait one more day for that movie,” you giggle and watch as his own smile grows.

his hands move from your waist and you start to pull your own arms away when his palms are suddenly on your cheeks, holding your face, and your own hands fly up to cup his. neither of you speak as you glide your hands down to wrap your fingers around his wrist gently, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as his eyes flick between your own.

“can i kiss you?” he asks, trying to see any form of discomfort that might appear on your expression.

“yes,” you respond and before you even finish he’s bringing you into him, lips pressing against your own as softly as he can.

it barely lasts a second before he’s pulling away, his eyes once again searching your own for any hint as to how you’re feeling.

“again?” he asks with a smirk when he notices your lips still puckered and chasing his.

he doesn’t wait for your response this time, diving back into you with an eagerness that challenges your own.

his lips move in sync with yours, one of his hands shifting to the side of your neck and the pads of his fingers pressing into the skin there, sending a shiver down your spine that you're sure he notices by the way you feel him smile against your lips. hongjoong hums gently, the sound vibrating from his own chest to yours and causing you to melt into him further.

you try to pour all of your appreciation for him into the kiss, desperately grasping onto his biceps like he might just vanish at any moment. you hope that he can understand just what you’re trying to tell him, that in this moment, and every moment you’ve shared, he’s made you feel normal. when you were with him, talking to him, you weren’t an idol and neither was he, you were both just you, human and flawed, and in love.

he pulls away after a moment more, placing a few light pecks against your lips before separating completely, and you try to chase his lips again but his hold on your cheek keeps you in place. instead, he presses his forehead against your own, eyes closed as he focuses on steadying his breathing while you flit your gaze around his face, trying to commit each feature to memory.

after what feels like an hour of just existing in the comfortable silence that has engulfed you both, hongjoong pulls away from you, his eyes opening slowly as his hands return to your waist, your own grip on his arms loosening.

“so tomorrow?” he asks, biting his lip before you bring your thumb up to pull the flesh from between his teeth and he places a gentle peck against your finger.

“it’s a date,” you confirm, leaning in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth.

he smiles and says, “i’ll text you,” before he takes a few steps back, forcing you both to separate and you immediately miss him even though he’s still stood right in front of you.

only a moment later the staff member from earlier is stepping back into the room, carrying a bag of your favorite delivery food and making a beeline to you.

you bow in thanks when she hands it to you before doing the same to hongjoong, showing your formal appreciation for the gesture, and the staff member is offering to guide you out of the building.

you’re quick to bid hongjoong goodbye, worrying that you might never leave him unless you go now, and the staff leads you back out the way you came in.

as soon as you make it back to your dorm you feel your phone buzz in your pocket, a text from hongjoong lighting up the screen.

hj<3: can i officially say i’m dating my bias?

↼ ateez masterlist

note this started as delusional texts in the group chat based on the specific instagram photos in the header and turned into this

tell me your thoughts

[jjoongsdiamond]

hong ✨🏴‍☠️👑💓💓

[jjoongsdiamond]