juiceboxwisdom

[juiceboxwisdom]

💥 “God Isn’t Some Dude in the Sky — It’s Just Us, Fumbling Through the Void and Somehow Not Dying” aka: Welcome to My Juice Box-Fueled TED Talk

Alright, real quick — can I say something that might piss off like… 72% of the Earth? Cool. I’m running on caffeine and emotional confusion anyway, so let’s roll.

You know how people believe in God? Like, some divine being chilling up in the sky, pulling the strings and making everything happen? Yeah… I can’t wrap my brain around that. Like, genuinely can’t.

And just so we’re 100% clear — I’m not talking about any spirit, cosmic force, or magic sky-parents. I don’t believe in God. I don’t believe in gods. I don’t believe in fairy tale sky-dads. (But hey, I get why people believe — life’s wild and scary, and faith can be a real comfort. This is just how I see it.)

What I do believe in is something way messier — way more human.

Because, real talk — humans come into this world dumb as hell. Like soggy-wet-tortilla-level dumb. We pop out knowing literally nothing. I only learned knives were dangerous after slicing myself, even though my mom warned me like 87 times. That’s how we learn: pain, trial and error, and a few bonus emotional meltdowns.

There were those super unethical history experiments (because kings back then were straight-up unhinged) where babies were raised in isolation to see if they’d develop language or survival skills on their own. Spoiler: they all died. No connection, no instinct, no chance. Because humans don’t magically “know” stuff. We learn it. The hard way.

So how am I supposed to believe that the first humans — Adam and Eve or whoever — just magically knew how to survive?

Did God sit them down before Earth-launch and give them a PowerPoint titled “Survival 101”? Was there a Day 0 orientation? Did he even give them “The Talk”? 💀 Did He pull out a divine laser pointer and say, “Okay, kiddos, this is a tree, this is a snake, and that feeling you’re having? That’s horniness. Go forth.” Because I’m not seeing any user manual in Genesis — just vibes and garden duty.

It sounds less like divine perfection and more like two confused naked Sims wandering around on tutorial mode.

And that’s what got me thinking: If there’s no sky-dad running the show, then where does that weird spark inside us come from?

I don’t think God is a guy in the clouds micromanaging our lives like some divine Google Calendar. I think God’s a metaphor — a name we gave to the messy, chaotic spark inside us all.

Our imagination. Our curiosity. Our creativity. That little voice pushing us to build, adapt, scream, dream, and survive — even when everything’s falling apart.

We’re the ones who touched fire and got burned. Fell off cliffs. Got bitten by snakes. And still got up and said, “Okay, that sucked. Let’s not do that again.”

We invented the wheel. Electricity. Phones. Language. That wasn’t some divine being handing out cheat codes. It was us, failing and trying again until it finally worked.

So maybe when ancient people felt that strange spark inside — that inspiration, that urge to figure things out — they didn’t have the words for it. So they called it God.

But here’s the thing: I don’t believe God’s a person or a power. I believe God is just a name for us — the raw, flawed humans who keep doing the damn work. Bleeding, learning, building, crying, and trying again.

That moment when a puzzle clicks after hours of chaos? When something you’ve been spiraling over finally makes sense? When you create something out of thin air and go, “Wait… where the hell did that come from?”

That’s not God. That’s you.

Not some floating sky-dad watching you forget your Gmail password for the sixth time. That spark that helps us survive the mess — that little voice that says, “Okay, I have no clue what I’m doing, but I’m gonna figure it out anyway.”

God as a word? Yeah, it’s messy and confusing. But if you need a name for that stubborn human spirit inside, that’s what I’m riffing on.

So yeah. I don’t believe in God — but I believe in that little spark that keeps us trying anyway. Maybe I’m just a 17-year-old running on too much caffeine and not enough therapy. But maybe that’s exactly when the truth leaks out a little.

And no — I’m not starting a cult. I’m not trying to be Jesus from Temu™. I’m just gonna post this, sip my juice box, and wait for the Catholic aunties to screech at me in the replies.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Peace, love, and divine nonsense. ✌️🍹